There Are Two Wolves In Me. One Wants To Use The Cannibal As My OC's Dragon In My Story As A Reference

There are two wolves in me. One wants to use the Cannibal as my OC's dragon in my story as a reference for how all consuming my character's anger is in both herself and her family relationships and as an illusion towards her internal views of kinslaying and feelings towards her extended family.

The other wolf is afraid it would be cringe.

so I got into grad school today with my shitty 2.8 gpa and the moral of the story is reblog those good luck posts for the love of god

Okay so first off, I agree with this for the most part. I, however, cannot just agree with something and remain quiet, so I have explained how exactly this connects with my idea of Aemond

When looking at Older! Aemond and how he has grown in response to his trauma from Driftmark (I assume OP is talking about Older Aemond), I heavily agree with the idea that he no longer has a desire to be held or comforted for what happened. All he has is rage because not only was his justice stolen from him but his victimhood as well.

The night when he should have be allowed to be the victim, he and his defender were ostracized by those around them, shoved to the side by his father without so much as an admittance of wrong doing from the other party. Aemond has to abandon his victimhood to protect his mother from his own father, and after that night, he knows he can never allow himself to be vulnerable again.

After having to protect himself and then his mother, Aemond likely learned to avoid vulnerability and anything close to it. The vulnerable can not protect themselves or those they care for. It’s not that he hates being the victim; its that being the victim even in his most traumatic moment nearly cost him everything, and he can’t risk that again.

If this was younger Aemond both pre-Driftmark and a little bit after the incident, I believe he would still desire that vulnerability and validation since he is a ~10 year old who has just been through something terrible. He would accept and likely desire someone to look at him and validate how bad it was and how he didn’t deserve it (something his father would never admit).

The only time I could see Older Aemond being more open/okay with vulnerability is if his partner or friend knew him prior to the loss of his eye. I am not saying this added bonding would make him ready and willing to talk about his emotions, but I think it would result in Aemond being more willing to accept compassion from his partner/friend because he would not need to explain himself or what happened. They know, and he doesn’t need to experience that new level of vulnerability that comes with remembering and recalling a traumatic event to someone who doesn’t know it. 

He would still be rage-filled and a bit prickly about being put in vulnerable situations, but he wouldn’t be as likely to lash out or pull away from his partner as he would one that did not witness/did not really know about the incident.

Just need to put this somewhere to not forget but i think aemond would be opposed to the idea of someone protecting him and for two reasons:

1. He knows he can ultimately count on himself and his skills only because even when someone is genuinely willing to protect him, they can’t (in his experience).

2. I think that would be a blow to his self-esteem. To be seen as someone who needs protection.

It would need to be approached from a place of equality for him to accept it. Like i imagine criston cole protected him: v indirectly and in a way that emphasised aemond’s own strengths or was mutual: you protect me, i protect you.

I think all of us would love to crawl into the show to yell at viserys and tell him what a horrible father he is. Maybe make a scene.

Aemond would hate the fuck out of it. He would be triggered and furious and would lash out so badly, trying to gain back control and power —maybe trying to make his partner see him as someone intimidating, not someone in need of protection, i.e. weak. And powerless.

Also.

I think he would find it very uncomfortable and angering to be validated and told how horribly he was treated in a compassionate, normal manner. That would put him in the role of a victim.

“They deserve to be tortured and murdered” is what i think he would want to hear. Rage. Not compassion.

Not

“Oh, Aemond, it is so cruel what happened to you,” she wept. “I can’t stand it! I can’t stand that you suffered so much!”

Vulnerability is a no no forbidden 🚫

Do people not know how to use the Dead Dove tag anymore? Like you can't just plaster Dead Dove on the top of a fic and then not add a single keep reading button on it. Its a little hard to avoid it properly and scroll away when your ten page long fic is blocking the entire tag.

Something I honestly hate is when I am looking for books with a plus-size main character, and when I finally find a story that looks like it works, all the art for the "plus size" character is just a skinny woman. Like come fucking on, now.

I am so normal about this fic I promise.

Ch. 11 opening teaser-

"You reckon this is what it's like on Dragonstone?"

Aemond shrugged, his eyes transfixed on the sky. He and Rhae stood at the edge of the deck, listening to the dockhands clamor to prepare a ramp for the ship's passengers to exit on. Waiting for them below was Aegon and Helaena, their hair whipped and wild from their flight.

Driftmark's harbor was at the base of the island, the castle looming large on the rocky hills above. Sunfyre and Dreamfyre were roosting about halfway up, their long scaly necks pointed upwards, watching wearily as more dragons circled overhead.

Rhae recognized the sleek yellow frame of Syrax, soaring lazily amongst the clouds, as she was prone to. She kept a lofty distance, her cries faint and sorrowful, almost lost to the winds. Nearby was Seasmoke, sinking lower and lower towards the ocean in a spiraling silent stupor. They seemed to keep their distance from the sky's only other inhabitant—a crimson beast that streaked the ether in agitated fury.

"Meleys," Aemond whispered.

The Dragonkeepers had told Rhae once that the bond between riders and their mounts was unbreakable, so much so that they could feel each other's emotions. She hadn't believed them then, but now...

The Red Queen roared, her call a bitter agony.

Rhae thought of Ser Harwin, and of Laena Velaryon, and wondered whether the dragons were mourning too.

"I don't see Caraxes," she shivered, watching the clouds, fearfully wondering when he might slither into view. Viserys had once told her how Daemon's dragon came to be known as the Blood Wyrm, for his scarlet scales and deformities.

"More of a winged viper than a dragon," The King had chuckled. "Though, pray, don't tell Daemon I've said so, tis' his pride and joy, Caraxes..."

"No Vhagar either," Aemond grumbled—the boy also seemed to scan the horizon in anticipation. "You don't think they've left her in Essos, do you?"

"I doubt any could coax the Queen of All Dragons overseas if she did not wish it," Rhae reasoned. Aemond's brow furrowed, but before they could discuss any further, Ser Criston's voice cut through the commotion.

"Rhae! Aemond!"

The ramp secured, the passengers filed down to the dock. The King went first, aided by his attendants so that he would not topple into the sea.

"See him to his quarters," the Queen called after them. "His Grace should rest before the funeral."