Taehyung Remembered When Jungkook Said That The Hardest Part For Him Is Seeing His Hyungs Having A Hard

taehyung remembered when jungkook said that the hardest part for him is seeing his hyungs having a hard time + jungkook’s cute reaction 🥺

Okay i swear i did not mean to laugh or be mean or anything but, hear me out... anyone who has dealt with nightmares and paranoia will understand my humor. Its so dry it will put the sahara desert to shame but it still will make me laugh and been laughing all day today. I mean who took this video though. That's just hilarious but in a way a private moment for the baby boo.

So early this year i have been having crazy nightmares and yeah its been quite rough. I would often wake up like this dog on a couple of occasions. Sometimes i would be screaming out loud and its a good thing i stay alone otherwise that would be so weird. My first time waking up screaming and my voice was super horse and were tears streaming down my face and well i was so confused.

I kept crying silently but i was confused as hell like wtf. Why was i even so emotional and yeah i knew i was right to seek medical help. So i kept seing my psychiatrist and tbh i was in no mood to talk so i was not talking to any psychologist at that time. So i kept taking medication. The nightmares kept on for what felt like years infact now i look back it was only just a few months. Well now its a thing of the past i sleep like a baby and i hope that dog get treatment for that.

The moment i saw this gif everything came back and i was like OMG did i act out like that too? Did something like that happen to me too? I mean it was my first time to watch it happen to someone else and imagine that it was myself and that's when i lost it. I just kept laughing and feeling sorry for the doggie but well that must have some strange ass dream.

Now the million dollar question is... what was it about? Food? Fights? Bath? Well i guess we will never know.

As always i will keep holding on.

I actually m doing better these days after a few rough few weeks. So I thank God for that.

Until next time.💜🤗💋💋

I hate waking up in the morning on a Monday. Especially when im running out of meds and i have to find money to buy some medicine. It's not like ibdo not have money or anything butbi just hate spending my money on stuff like this.

My problem is PAIN. I mean not physical pain but mental pain. I just want it to stop and my doctor says one day it will stop with therapy and medication and that is why i have to keep on taking my medication. I hate it though. This past weekend I was in pain.

Nothing was fun, i was having nightmares, then i woke up tired and then i spent the whole day overthinking and then the cycle continued. I tried listening to music i mean BTS music always gets me out of this but this weekend i could not get out because of the stupid dreams. I have recently started reading fanfiction too so that helped wscape a lil bit. I hate watching movies and series i cancelled my Netflix membership on Friday. I mean i guess season changes is affecting me maybe.

Yesterday i was thinking about how im so alone and no one really knows me, like the real me. Like how im just a shell of myself. The things i go through i have no one who I can actually share with who gets me. My mum is not here and my dad too and my relationship with my brother is strained because we grew up apart because of the death of our parents so we are really not that close. So who can i really show the real me who can understand my journey and what i have been and talk back to me and say I understand.

People tell me God understands and i know He does, Km sure He watches over me, I have no doubt about that at all. But He never is there to hug me back and say its okay you can cry all you want. All i have is a pillow and an empty bed and room that i face and talk to with hopes that God is not too busy to hear me whine again about how Im sad again today. How nothing makes sense and how i just want to sleep forever.

He must be burdened to have a kid like me. In my last appointment with my psychiatrist i did not like how i felt at all. I hate it. But i felt guilty our appointment and started feeling as if maybe im being needy and being an attention seeker and just spending money to have someone talk to me. I guess that's just messed up. So i was thinking of stopping taking the medication and stopping therapy altogether and just let it go. Not die i mean just stop and i don't know. See what else is available as an option for me.

This became longer than i intended but i guess m too emotional today..

We all have those days i guess

Will keep holding on until next time

Hie,

Longtime fellas...my confession is here...

So my sister messaged me this past week 🤦‍♀️. She was like, how did i miss this call, and tbh i was not in the mood to just talk or say anything but i just said oh i missed you that's all.

This is a cruel world, u just have to fake yourself out of everything and its so exhausting. I really wanted to tell her she let me down when j needed her but then i remembered that she is not my mum i have no right to say anything like that to her. Im not her responsibility and she owes me nothing. So i just decided to let it go.

The other time i needed advice on relationships and she ignored me as well. 😁😁😁 and when she eventually came to me after weeks i saying oh I was at work bla bla i was just like ow sorry for disturbing i ended up calling up my therapist and talk to her about what was bothering me. Well actually i never did call my therapist 🥺🥺 i just needed for her to feel better knowing someone attended to me.

Why do i have to go through this though? I hate it. I just am so done with this life of being too nice, modest and dying inside.

These days im not sure who I am anymore. What do i want and what do I stand for. A lot of fake ness has infiltrated ny life and im just struggling to just being myself. But this week, i will work on addressing this. I will find videos, music, books and all the material i can get to just try and find a way out of it. I HATE MYSELF for being affected by this. I have been rhe most genuine perso i know and now all i am is fake😭😭😭

I will update here my progress this whole week and hopefully i will come up with something.

Until then, i will hang in there!!!! Hopefully the sun will shine brighter soon, if not 🤷‍♀️

Bye for now....🤗🤗💋💋💋💜💜💜👋✌

What is your greatest most fear? One that when you are asked you day goes from gold to blueblack. If it was sweet juice you sipping it suddenly turns sour. One that turns the heat up full blast. I mean the fear that makes you feel extremely uncomfortable.... That is my questions to you the blog readers today. I hope you identify that fear and find the thing that sometimes takes away your joy and or the thing standing in between ypu and your dreams right now.

I pray all goes well as you discover that thing

Until next time😘😘😘 and 🤗🤗🤗

💜

Breathing

My president Kim Nam Joon once said that “the struggle is to go insane whilst trying to be sane”.

Depression is a bitch guys. My confession today was supposed to be calm and collected. But I feel murderous and drugged. I'm tired of side effects and taking endless pills. For anxiety and for depression. Each of these pills have their own side effects and they sometimes clash and i am the person who suffers.

Starting 2020 i decided to go the right path and seek help. I was tired of crying myself to sleep. I had entertainment depression and we were more than acquainted, super close. In the beginning she would visit here and there but she started moving her clothes into house slowly. I mean im nice i kept being nice i will just keep quiet if she needs me to be quiet and sleep if that is what she wanted. I wish she didn't required that i eat so much at the expense of my budget but yeah. She stood by me. I met a few friends who wanted to be close to me and i decided to ditch her she never said anything at all. She just have me some space and allowed me to be myself.

So my friends only lasted a few fun weeks and i started missing depression my long time close friend. So i called her up and it turns out she never left. She was just here with me all along waiting. The girls i became friends with were clowns and so i came back home to my close buddy who had never left.

I have known her since i was in primary school maybe sometime around 10. My life was highly unstable with too much relocation and feelings of being unwanted and not being able to fit in. She welcomed me and gave me a place. Where i fit in and allowed me to wallow on my misery. She looks at me with eyes that are never filled with judgement and allows me to condemn myself and agrees with me whenever i feed myself lies, or maybe it's her talking, I have no idea. Sometimes I can not tell us apart.

In 2019 however she became too comfortable and or maybe i became too much for her to such an extent that she called her cousin from out of town to visit in my own house without my permission. So one day all of a sudden Anxiety introduced herself to me. I said but we have met before, i hate you and she just laughed and took a sit. She made herself comfortable in my own home and together they took so much space that i became a slave in my own house.

So every day i was struggling with making decisions about everything. I went to celebrate my birthday in a beautiful country in Asia and anxiety decided to tag along uninvited. The worst thing about her is that then she brings all her cousins and nasty friends to the party. Lack of confidence, low self esteem, self doubt, self image issues and then energy has left the chat, then sleep has left the chat, and then everything automatically looks and sounds off.

Well that became the most difficult year of my adulthood. Such that when 2020 came i was ready to start afresh. But then again I had no idea what 2020 had in store for the world I just wanted to seek help for myself and try to start afresh.

I started therapy and knocked of anxiety, said hello and bye to panic attacks, nightmares, weight gain and weight loss now hallucinations and dizziness.... it's a never ending story of my life filled with drama Sometimes i feel like the main actress of a sad movie and a high budget box office hit super sad movie.

Will the story ever end? How? I can't wait to find out, hopefully soon....

I hope to keep holding on until then...

😘😘😘😘💜💜✌✌✌