I Don't Think I've Ever Cried This Much Like Omg I'm Bawling My Eyes Out Rn I Can't Even See What I'm

I don't think I've ever cried this much like omg I'm bawling my eyes out rn I can't even see what I'm writing

I can only be me when i'm by your side - i'm not a monster.

As time passes recovering, you've seemed to found your place in Jihyo's arms.

cw: fluff, smut, angst, petnames, virgin!reader, sweet girl!jihyo, popular but not so popular!jihyo, basketball player!jihyo, both are 18 but they are students, mentions of death, drunk confessions, they fall in love pretty fast, lwk rushed, lmk if there is more ^_^, ~ 4k words

if you're thinking "hm! i read this fic somewhere... yes! its my heeseung fic from my bg blog @adorwoo ! which i wanted to use for jihyo !^_^ hope you enjoy anyway.

men dni.

It's not your fault.

It's not your fault.

It's not your fault.

It's not your...

Is it really?

The rain beats down on your black umbrella, the lines from Dahyun's letter playing over and over in your head. It feels like you're trapped in a vicious cycle, not being able to think of anything else.

But why?

Why didn't she tell you?

Were all those conversations about the mutual trust between you two a lie? Was it just talk to keep you from worrying?

If someone had told you a week ago that you had to be at her funeral because she had killed herself, you would have laughed at that person. Dahyun was always the happiest person you've ever met.

Even if you had been told that a day ago, you wouldn't have believed it. Because in theory, it's the stupidest thing you've ever heard.

In his letter, she wrote about how much she loved you, how she enjoyed every minute and every moment with you, how it's not your fault that she's not here anymore.

She's probably right, not just probably. She's right, and you know it. But you can't stop blaming yourself. Someone has to take the blame. Someone is responsible.

You could have helped her.

You should have helped her.

Tears run down your cheeks as you stare at her grave. Her family, her friends, they are all gone. You stand here alone, not daring to leave.

'Kim Dahyun

Born on may 28, 1998.

A friend, daughter and lover.

She will continue to live in our souls.'

It feels like your eyes are glued to the writing, you can't look away. You try to regulate your breathing, taking a deep breath.

A sigh leaves your mouth as you place the white rose next to the gravestone.

You take one last look at her grave before turning and slowly walking away.

-

"I'm Y/n, nice to meet you all."

You look at the students in front of you, all of them giving you strange looks. Of course, you are a new student, but you feel uncomfortable under their gaze. The teacher smiles at you and tells you where to sit, next to a girl called Mina.

It's as if everyone has forgotten about you again as the teacher starts teaching. You sit down next to Mina and she smiles at you.

"Nice to meet you," she whispers. You smile at her.

You can't talk to her for long because she starts taking notes for the lesson. You look around at the faces of the others. It actually looks like a normal class, but your eyes land on a girl.

She looks shorter than you, her hair is brown as well as her eyes. She's wearing a white t-shirt.

"Have you laid your eye on someone?" asks Mina, laughing a little.

"No!" you answer, a little too loudly, and you put your head on the table as a few people look at you. "I was just looking at her," you whisper.

"Yeah yeah... that's what they all say" she says.

You slowly lose yourself in your thoughts as memories of Dahyun come flooding back.

Should you even look at other girls? Is it bad?

Would Dahyun hate you for trying to find love again?

It's been more than two months since she died, but you can't stop thinking about her.

Maybe it's normal, your behavior. Your overthinking of everything, maybe you're not the only person who feels this way? Maybe there is someone else who is just as lost in their thoughts as you are.

Maybe you are simply not alone.

However, your thoughts are interrupted by the bell and Mina.

"I can show you a few things here at school if you want," she suggests, and you gratefully accept her help.

You spend the whole lunch break running after her while she shows you around.

"Why did you change schools anyway? Your old one is a pretty well-known one, and much better than here," she asks, before taking a bite of her sandwich.

The question makes you wonder, and you think about whether you should just lie to her and say that you moved, or that you were somehow bullied at your school - but somehow it feels wrong. Because you neither moved nor were you bullied. No, everything was actually fine.

Actually,

Somehow everything changed after her death.

Your classmates started looking at you funny, and you still don't know whether they are looks of pity or looks of condemnation because they blame you.

"I don't know" is your answer, and somehow it's true. Sometimes you really have no idea why you changed schools, but Mina doesn't need to know the whole truth.

She just nods in response as she continues to eat.

"The girl you were looking at in English, her name is Jihyo by the way" she says.

What?

"Why are you telling me this?" you ask.

"Because you were staring at her a lot - you looked really interested in her" she replies with a little grin.

"How many times do I have to tell you, I wasn't staring at her..." you laugh a little, but can't hide your despair. Why does she think you're interested in her?

-

"Watch out!" someone shouts, but before you can react, a basketball hits you.

You fall to the floor, your head hurts and you feel slightly dizzy as you slowly open your eyes.

The girl from your English class is kneeling on the floor in front of you, looking at you, trying to see if you're okay.

It's like a cliché high school movie.

"Are you okay?" she asks, a couple of other girls come over, but she just tells them to get something to cool off and shoos them away.

The things that can happen when you want to visit the gym...

You nod slowly, after a few blinks your vision is no longer blurry.

Another girl comes back and hands Jihyo a cold pack.

"Here, take this," she says and puts it in your hand, her hand on your shoulder to support you.

You hold it to your head, biting the inside of your cheek slightly from the cold.

Before she can say anything else, she is called by his coach, at the same moment Mina comes to you.

"I was looking for you," she says and helps you up.

You watch Jihyo jogging across the field before you leave the gym.

-

New week, new luck?

Every day you tried desperately to talk to Jihyo somehow, but suddenly she was always gone after class and you were never put in a group together.

But it looks like luck is on your side for once.

"Here's the list of groups, you have to give a presentation in pairs on a play of your choice," your English teacher announces.

You look at the picture projected on the wall.

Chaeyoung and Mina,

Sana and Miyeon,

Jihyo and Y/n,

Jeongyeon and...

Wait, what?

You read the list again and once more you see your name and Jihyo's name next to each other.

"Jihyo and Y/n," you say quietly.

"Are you happy?" Mina asks teasingly with a grin on her lips.

"Are you happy that you have to work with Chaeyoung?" you ask back - Mina doesn't answer.

Before your teacher can give you any more homework for the break, the school bell rings and everyone rushes out of the classroom.

You walk (or rather, run) to Jihyo who is packing her things away.

"Hey, I was wondering when we should meet," you say, and she looks up at you and smiles. You feel your cheeks turning red.

She puts on his backpack and stands up.

"How about Friday afternoon? My place?" she suggests and you nod.

She takes a pen from her pocket, "Give me your hand," she says, you are confused but do it anyway.

She opens the pen with her mouth, the cap between her teeth as she gently writes on your hand.

Her phone number.

It feels like she's giving you an autograph.

"Text me and I'll send you my address," she says, and before you can answer, she walks out of the room.

You look down at your hand and see a little smiley face next to her number.

You can't help but giggle as you look at it.

-

You stare at your phone - up to her front door and back down to your phone.

You are 10 minutes early and don't dare to ring the doorbell.

"You know you can just ring the bell?" someone asks you, you look up and see Jihyo smiling at you.

"I'm early, that's why-"

"Not a problem," she interrupts you.

She lets you in and closes the door behind her.

Her house is beautiful, modern and yet somehow old-fashioned.

"My parents aren't here, so I thought we could study in the living room," she says, and you nod, leaning your backpack against the table.

"Water?" she asks and you take it gratefully.

You drink a little before she sits down across from you.

You both leaf through the books, take notes, talk briefly about certain passages, but otherwise no one says anything.

Jihyo decides to break the awkward atmosphere.

"I wanted to apologize again, for the basketball," she says, and you laugh a little.

"You don't have to apologize, things like that can happen," you reply.

"Have you ever had a girlfriend?" she asks, and instead of answering, you are completely silent, thinking.

Memories of Dahyun come back while Jihyo looks at you and waits for your answer.

"Yes, I did, but she died a few months ago," you answer.

She nods slightly, "Can I ask how he died?" she asks in a quiet, polite tone, as if she really wants to make sure that she's asking something that doesn't hurt you in any way.

"Suicide," you say, short and meager, without many details (whether you know many details at all is another question).

She looks at you with a supportive look, one that makes you feel like she's really listening and that she really understands you.

Maybe she understands you even more than you think?

She puts her hand on yours with a slight smile.

"Thank you for confiding in me," she says, your cheeks slightly flushed, hers too.

You both look at each other for a moment before she lets go and you both go back to work.

-

If only the work had gone on for longer.

After the one meeting, you saw her every day of the vacation. Always with the excuse that you supposedly "need to add something" (does going to the movies together add something to your project?).

It's been more than a week since you first met.

"You're in love," Mina says as she parks her car in front of Jihyo's house.

"I-"

"Don't even try to find an excuse, it's all good" she replies with a small grin.

You both get out of the car and walk to her house, the music so loud you can hear it several meters away.

How Jihyo, who is slightly drunk, hears the doorbell is also a mystery to you.

"Hey guys!" she greets you, she shakes Mina's hand and gives her a kind of high five, she gives you a hug.

You smile at her as the three of you walk into the living room.

"I'm going to Chaeyoung," Mina whispers, or rather shouts, in your ear before disappearing.

"Y/n, do you want to play a drinking game with us?" asks Jihyo, you nod.

Maybe it was a stupid decision.

Jihyo and her friends (of whom you only know Jeongyeon) only understand drinking games to mean taking shots and asking stupid questions.

Either answer - or drink.

You always chose the second option.

After about 7 questions (maybe more, maybe less - you lost count of that pretty fast) you get up and say that you need some fresh air.

Since you've been to her house several times, you know where the upstairs balcony is.

It's quite big, with a parasol and two folding chairs. You sit down on one and close your eyes, your head throbs a little.

"Are you okay?" someone asks after a few minutes.

To your surprise (not really a surprise), Jihyo stands next to you before sitting down on the chair to your right.

"Yeah, it's just the alcohol," you say.

You and alcohol, not really a good combination.

Especially not when you're sitting next to the girl you're in love with.

"Do you have a girlfriend?" you ask out of nowhere.

She shakes his head, "I thought it was obvious" she says and laughs a little.

"I love you" you confess.

She turns to you, but before he can answer anything, you keep talking.

"I know we haven't known each other that long... a month?? more? less? but-... I just have this feeling with you that I only used to have with her"

"I thought I'd never feel it again," you say, a tear running down your cheek.

Jihyo looks at you, her eyes slightly watery.

Is she crying too?

"Y/n" she says, interrupting your continued rambling.

She gets up, kneels down in front of your chair, and -

kisses you.

Her soft lips on yours.

She pulls away after just a few seconds and you already feel like you miss her lips.

"I love you too Y/n" she says softly.

You look at her in amazement.

"Really?" you ask.

"That's why I asked if you had a girlfriend" now it all makes so much more sense.

She pulls you up and takes you to the guest room. She tries to lay you down on the bed but you pull her with you and she falls on top of you.

You both stare at each other and laugh a little.

"You're drunk, get some rest," she says, kissing your forehead.

"I'll be here when you wake up"

-

And she really is next to you when you wake up.

"Good morning..." you groan as you rub your eyes.

She smiles at you, "good morning" she says, from the look on her face you suspect she woke up just a few minutes before you.

You pull her closer to you by her collar and kiss her, she kisses you back while her hand is on your cheek.

The kiss is just perfect, gentle, slow, a perfect way to start his morning.

But it can also be perfect in another way.

It gets warmer under the covers as you continue kissing, she kisses down your jaw to your neck, leaving a trail of wet kisses on it. You can't help but rub your thighs together a little.

"What about the others?" you ask.

"I kicked them out yesterday after you fell asleep" she says, continuing to kiss your neck, even nibbling on it, making you let out soft moans.

"Jihyo, I think you should know that I am a virgin" you say, your cheeks heating up a little in embarrassment.

She giggles a little, kissing you on the lips again.

"Nothing to be embarrassed about baby" she replies with a smile.

She gets on top of you, continuing to kiss you.

You think kissing Jihyo is the best thing in the world.

Her hands trail over your body, giving you a soft squeeze here and there.

"Can I?" she asks, her hand playing with the buttons on your pants.

"Please" you answer with a smile.

She complies and opens them, pulling off your pants and leaving you in your underwear.

You sit up a little, your hands on her waist, feeling up her muscles, especially her abs.

"Want me to take it off?" she asks, you nod.

She pulls off her shirt over her head, dropping it somewhere on the floor.

Your finger trails up his stomach to her bra, looking at her like she is a work of art (she definetly is one).

"Done admiring me?" she asks with a teasing grin, to which you reply "never".

She leans down again, kissing your face as she starts to trail them down till he arrives at the waistband of your underwear.

"Can I?" she asks again, "yes" you answer, already out of breath.

She takes your underwear off, her hands placed on your thighs as she leaves kisses everywhere.

You can definetly tell that she has a thing for kissing.

When she places a kiss right on your clit though, you let out a small moan.

She begins licking and sucking on it, making you grab her hair with your hands as your fingers curl deeper into her scalp, leaving a delicious burn.

She drags her tongue down as she circles your core, slowly entering it a little.

You let out more moans as you turn your head to the side, moaning into the pillow.

Her tongue feels so good when you realise that you are closer and closer to your climax.

"Jihyo- I think I'm gonna-"

"Let it out princess" she mumbles against your core, the vibrations of her voice stimulating you even more as you cum into her mouth.

She smiles at you as he sits up, watching you coming down from your high.

You smile back at him as your cheeks turn red again.

"Can I?" she asks, her fingers trailing down your soft skin as her nails scratch you a little.

You look at her hand, a few veins poking out, her fingers thin but long.

You look at her again, nodding.

You pulled her closer as she rubs your clit with her fingers, you suck in your breath as she slowly pushes them in, the little stretch burning in a way that makes you even hornier.

She slips them in completly, you let out a moan in response. She takes your hand with her free one as your fingers intertwine.

She starts to slowly thrust into you, kissing you again as her tongue explores your mouth.

"You're so tight baby.." she mumbles into your mouth.

You can't help but let out louder moans when she starts to speed up a little.

Her fingers drive you crazy, it feels like she is everywhere, you feel her everywhere in your body as she exits and enters you.

"P-please jihyo- faster" you moan out, and who would she be if she wouldn't listen to your wishes?

She speeds up her thrusts, kissing down your neck again as her hot breath hits your skin.

Your hand grips the pillow your hand is laying on, moaning against your arm as you can feel Jihyo curling her fingers.

She thrusts into you again before you moan loudly, cumming as your thighs close around her wrist, panting heavily as she lets herself fall onto the spot next to you.

You both stare at the ceiling, the only sounds the heavy breathing from you.

You move her hand to yours and intertwine your fingers. She moves her head to the side to look at you, smiling.

You think seeing her smiling is something you can never get enough of.

-

Idiots in love, thats how you two can be described.

The next few months were full of love. Kisses here, kisses there. It didn't even have to be sexual, no, it was always romantic, no matter what you did together.

After a few months, she gave you a ring.

"One day I'll buy you an expensive, real diamond ring and ask you to marry me," she said, and since then you've both worn the matching rings without taking them off once.

If only it had stayed that way.

It's late at night, you're lying in bed reading a book when you get a message.

"I love you,

I'm sorry" - from Jihyo.

You sit up and stare at your cell phone.

"What's wrong?" you type and send the message, she replies,

"I can't take it anymore"

She can't take it anymore?

You feel a twinge in your head as you suddenly realize something.

It's too similar to Dahyun's goodbye.

"I can't live in this world anymore" she wrote in her text.

You look at her location, and without hesitation you walk, no - storm out of your apartment and run to her.

She's not far away, a bridge situated over a river only 5 minutes away, and you think you've never been so grateful for anything.

You squeeze your eyes shut, trying to see anything while your clothes get wetter and wetter, the rain completly drenches you.

Again it feels like a cliché love drama.

Only maybe this time you have the chance to have a happy ending.

Your legs are burning from all the running as you arrive on the bridge.

"Jihyo!" you shout, the rain pattering loudly on the asphalt, forcing you to shout even louder for her.

Her bike is right next to her, one leg over the railing, her hands gripping it tightly, as if she's...

Scared?

"Y/n?" she answers, her voice low and shaky.

"Please..." you say as you walk slowly towards her.

She doesn't stop you when you take her hand in yours.

"Why didn't you tell me?" you ask, she looks at you as a tear runs down her cheek.

"I-... I didn't want you to worry. I thought this feeling would go away if I didn't talk to anyone about it," she says.

Whether your face is wet from the rain or your tears, you don't know.

"Believe me, you have to talk to me, then it will get better," you say.

Her face comes closer to yours and, without answering, she kisses you.

You kiss her back, try to grab her so you can hold her closer - but she lets go.

Completely.

You slowly open your eyes, afraid of what you will see - but you see nothing.

No one.

The rain completely overwhelms you.

"No..." you whisper, looking down on the floor and picking up something shiny.

Her ring.

You look out over the railing and see the water turning slightly red.

It feels like you're trapped in a vicious circle, like you'll never find peace again.

You are trapped, with no way out.

-

While other people find the rain soothing, you find it to be more like torture.

While other people would stay indoors in weather like this, you're outside again.

Again in front of a grave.

But this time it's Jihyo's.

Everything feels too similar and you hate it more than anything.

"It's not your fault" is a sentence you started to hate.

You hoped so much that you would never have to hear or read it again.

"Why didn't you talk to me..." you whisper, as if she could hear you.

Your hand clutches the letter, it slowly getting soaked by the rain.

You don't dare to move.

"You knew what happened..."

All time does is passing -

"Why did you hide it from me..." Your voice is full of despair.

And all you ever do is grieve.

"Life without you is no way to live" the white flower falls on his grave -

just like her ring,

engraved with your name.

She helped you recover from Dahyun's death.

You just wish you wouldn't have to recover over her death alone now.

In another universe, you've seemed to found your place in Jihyo's arms.

In this universe, you're left alone,

again.

PLEASE FIND ME SOMEONE. BOY, GIRL ZEBRA(that's me tho) IDGF I NEED TO FIND THE LOMLLLL I CAN'T BE ALONE ALL MY DAMN LIFE LIKE UGHHHH

---

Nah it's actually so good wtf

☾ ━━━━━━ 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐢𝐬 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐩𝐫𝐭 𝟐

☾ ━━━ PAIRING: I.N X READER (MAYBE SEUNGMIN X READER ☾ ━━━ CONTENT: NON-IDOL! AU, YANDERE! IN, DUBCON/NONCON (?), VIOLENCE, SPIT, ORAL (M REC), SLAPPING, UNPROTECTED SEX, BREEDING (FORCED), CREAMPIE, POLICE, MENTION OF GUNS, PREGNANCY, MENTION ABORTION, FILMING, LOT OF CRYING AND APOLOGIZING, IT'S STILL A BIT FUCKED U ☾ ━━━ WC: 4K ☾ ━━━ PART ONE ☾ ━━━ 18+ work!! minors and ageless/blank blogs DNI! you will be blocked, put an indicator on your blog somewhere that you are 18+ before interacting with this work/blog

     Y/n tried tracking how long Jeongin had kept her in the isolated cabin. After a few days, everything blurred together. After a week she noticed him going in and out of the back, leaving her in the house. 

     She’d checked the windows and doors while “cleaning” the cabin. Everything was locked— padlocked. This was forever. 

     Occasionally, she’d find him watching the news— one of her friends had reported her missing. He’d almost put it on to tease her. That no matter how hard they looked, they wouldn’t find her. 

     It wasn’t like she hadn’t tried getting out. Multiple times even. But it just made him angry. When he was angry, it wasn’t good. He was a different person.

     He’d hit, yell, break things. Slowly everything became her fault. It was her fault he was like this. He’d started blaming for her friends being in a coma— admitting he had paid someone to hit the car that night. It scared her more. She’d shrunk into herself. Just praying he didn’t kill her. 

     But sometimes she saw the good bits and it threw her mind into a loop. But she knew it was all part of his manipulation tactic. One he fucked up once. 

     Jeongin had turned on the TV, news broadcasting the search for the two of them. her family and friends pleading with the public to find them. Then he got up abruptly and walked out the back door. Y/n waited a few seconds before reaching forward. He put her phone on the table to tease her. 

     If the TV was on, they had some signal. She tapped her screen and was surprised she still had battery life. She checked the back door one last time before opening her phone— not daring to pick it up from its position. She opened her messages with Changbin. Sending him her current location as quickly as she could.

Y/n: help

       you were right

     The message threw Changbin off. It’d been almost a month since she disappeared. He knew the moment she told him she and Jeongin were going on a weekend trip it wasn’t going to end well. 

     “What?” Minho asked as their usually loud friend went silent

     “Y/n texted me…” Changbin said

     “What did she say?!” Jisung practically yelled as he jumped on top of him

     “Aye!” Changbin yelled and pushed him off and looked back at the screen, “She sent her location and said help.”

     “HELP?!” Jisung yelled

     “Send it to the detective,” Minho said as he grabbed his keys 

     “Where are you going?” Jisung asked

     “We’re getting our friend back from that psycho,” Minho said

     “What if he has a gun?” Jisung asked

     “A chance I’m willing to take!” Minuo called. 

     The two followed the oldest out of the apartment. Changbin was on the phone with the detectives working on the case as he and Jisung followed their friend out of the apartment. Sending them the location Y/n sent him. The detectives redirected them over to the station to come up with a plan. 

     Y/n had quickly deleted the messages from her phone and shut her phone off quickly. Sitting back on the couch and waiting. And she waited for a while. Too scared to move before he came back in. Two hours later, it was already dark outside. She didn’t question anything. Not even the blood on his hands. Too scared to say anything to him. 

     She sat quietly on the couch, waiting for him to come back. She heard the shower turn on, giving her more time in her thoughts. She knew the drive from the city to where they were was long. At least three hours. She just waited anxiously. 

    Eventually, Jeongin came back into the living room and sat next to her. Pulling her onto his lap and kissing her neck. “It’s useless,” Jeongin said

     “What is?” Y/n asked

     “Them looking for us. I made sure no one could find us.” Y/n could hear the crazy dripping from his voice while he gripped her hips. 

     Y/n tried hiding how revolting his touch had become to her. She was scared of what would happen if she jerked away from him. He’d been unpredictable since they got here and she feared every step she took would set him off. She was walking on eggshells around him.

     “Get on your knees and face me,” He whispered in her ear and let go of her hips.

     Y/n got off his lap and turned around, facing him before sinking onto her knees between his legs. Jeongin leaned forward and grabbed her face, making her look at him. “Open your mouth.”

     Y/n did as she was told, opening up her mouth. Jeongin pulled her tongue out of her mouth and spit onto her tongue. Y/n left her tongue out as he sat back, pulling his cock out of sweat and sitting forward on the couch more. Putting his hand on the back of her head and pushing himself down her throat. Y/n gagged as the tip hit the back of her throat while he moaned at the feeling. Holding the back of her head and moving her head up and down his shaft. Y/n gripped the bottom of the dress she had on, trying to distract herself from him using her throat with the lace trim. Just hoping Changbin would get here soon. That he still cared enough to help her.

     Each drag of his cock had her disassociating more. He noticed. He pulled her off his cock and harshly slapped her across the face, letting her fall to the ground. “Who are you thinking about.” He demanded as he got on top of her

     “Y-You,” Y/n stumbled

     “Don’t lie to me Y/n,” Jeongin warned

     “I’m not! Promise, I was thinking about you Innie!”

     “Why are you lying to me Y/n?!” He yelled

     “I’m not!” Y/n cried

     “Maybe I should have killed Seungmin from the beginning. That’s who you’re thinking about, right? Right?!”

     He’s alive? “No! No, Innie, you’re the love of my life! Was thinking about you! It’s always you!”

     “Always me?” He asked, softening a bit hearing that.

     “Always you,” Y/n said, reaching for him a bit, cupping his face, and pulling him down for a kiss. Jeongin was quick to return it as he moved to put her legs over his hips, slipping inside her mid-kiss.

     Y/n moaned into his mouth as he thrusted into her. She was keeping his mind off anything else. She couldn’t risk him snapping before Changbin or the police got to them. She didn’t know how long it would be but it was her only bit of hope at this point. She had to hold out hope.

     “All mine.” Jeongin accentuated each word with a hard thrust into her. Chanting “mine, mine, mine.” with each thrust. His lips moved to mark her already hickey-covered neck. He never let the marks fade. Needing that visual to know he had claimed her.

     Y/n played her part. At some point, he stopped caring if she finished or not. Just got himself off, cleaned the two of them up, and repeated the process a couple of hours later. It was easier to act like she still loved him that way. Easier to pretend him being this close to her didn’t make her want to throw up.

     She blinked away tears as he finished inside her. Hoping none of them would fall and he wouldn’t notice. After a moment, he pulled out and got up. Leaving for a moment to grab something to clean her up before picking her off the ground and bringing her into the bedroom with him. Tucking her into bed before turning all the lights off in the cabin. Y/n lay in silence as he came back into the room, laying behind her and wrapping his arms around her. Holding her close to his chest.

     “You’re taking a pregnancy test tomorrow.” He told her

     “Okay,” Y/n agreed

     Y/n felt him kiss her shoulder before saying goodnight to her. She replied automatically but didn’t dare fall asleep, she hadn’t slept much in days, maybe only a couple of hours before she was awake, waiting for him to let her go. She just stared into the darkness, looking at the wall, and nightstand, trying to tell herself that this wasn’t real.

     She could hear the clock tick each second out in the living room. Trying to keep track of the time, disassociating the longer the seconds ticked by. She swore at one point she heard noise outside but assumed it was an animal. She wasn’t thinking of anything else. Not someone was there to save her. It was only minutes later the bedroom door was practically kicked open and lights shined bright in the room. People yelling that jolted Jeongin awake, his grip on her loosening. Y/n moved out of the bed as quickly as she could as what she assumed were police and SWAT were surrounding the bed.

     “Ms. L/n?” A voice said amongst the yelling for Jeongin to get out of bed

     “Yes…” She said, tears welling in her eyes

     “Let’s get you out of here. You’re safe now.” The officer helped her stand and wrapped a blanket around her.

     Every ounce of adrenaline she had practically been surviving off of crashed and she almost fell standing up. The officer carried her out before they got Jeongin out of the cabin in handcuffs. They carried her to the waiting ambulance before she heard her name being yelled.

     “Y/n!” It wasn’t Jeongin. She heard Jisung before she saw him. Once she did she opened her arms as he hugged her. “You’re okay.” She could hear that he was about to cry.

     “I’m sorry,” Y/n let the tears fall, crying into his shoulder.

     “Don’t apologize,” Jisung pulled away and looked her over as the paramedics got to work, trying to check on her.

     “Ji, let her breathe,” Minho’s voice came. Y/n saw him and Changbin walk up and it just made her cry more.

     “You got my text,” Y/n asked as Minho patted her head and Changbin hugged her. 

     “Yeah. Minho almost jumped the gun and came and got you without all this,” Changbin told her

     “I’m sorry, Bin…”

     “Don’t apologize. You were manipulated.”

     “I could have taken him in a fight,” Minho said.

     Y/n looked over her friend’s shoulder as they dragged her psycho ex out of the cabin. Quickly hiding again in Changbin’s chest.

     “She needs to get to a hospital,” one of the paramedics said

     “Wait, there might be someone else on the property,” Y/n told them as they tried getting her on the gurney in the ambulance.

     “What do you mean?” The officer who brought her out asked

     “He kept bringing up my ex, Seungmin. Early, he came back in with blood on him and said he should have killed him in the beginning.” Y/n explained

     “Check the rest of the property!” The officer ran into the chaos, relaying what she had said to him.

     “Ms. L/n, you need to go to a hospital for a full examination.”

     “Minho and I will stay here in case something happens. Go back with her, Bin.” Jisung said

     “We’ll call if they find him,” Minho reassured them

     Changbin nodded and helped the paramedics get Y/n onto the gurney, sitting close to her as they slowly drove away from the house.

     “Two detectives are gonna meet us at the hospital to take a statement, okay?” Changbin asked

     “Okay…” Y/n said

     “Tired?” Changbin asked her

     Y/n nodded as she relaxed into the pillow. Slowly nodding off from her lack of sleep and being out of survival mode. The beeping of monitors woke her up hours later. Having to adjust to the hospital light before looking over and seeing Changbin asleep in a chair next to her. 

     “Bin…” she said which seemed to have woken him up. He must have just started drifting off

     “Good morning,” Changbin sighed and stretched 

     “How long was I asleep?” Y/n asked 

     Changbin quickly checked his phone, “About seventeen hours.”

     “Damn,” Y/n sighed

     “Good news though. Chan, Hyunjin, and Felix woke up about a week ago from their comas,” Changbin smiled 

     “Did they find Seungmin?”

     “They did. Minho said they brought K-9 out because Jeongin wouldn’t tell them where he was. They found him chained up in a cellar under the cabin. He was doing the bare minimum to keep him alive and it looked like he was beating him from what Jisung said. Ji rode back in the ambulance and Minho followed them back.”

     “How long was he down there?”

     “He hasn’t said anything since they found him. Minho’s with him right now.”

     Y/n nodded, playing with the thin hospital blanket. 

     “Hey. This isn’t your fault. Jeongin manipulated you. No one blames you. He already confessed to having paid someone to hit the car that put the guys in a coma and kidnapped you and Seungmin as well as confessed to the assaults. He’s going to jail for a long time,” Changbin assured her and grabbed her hand, “The detectives still want your statement and the guys want to see you too.”

     “Can you be here when I give the statement?”

     “Yeah. Want me to let the detectives know you’re ready?”

     Y/n nodded and Changbin called the detectives letting them know she was awake and ready to talk. The two detectives were down at the hospital within a few minutes. Changbin sat quietly in his chair while she talked about what happened in the cabin. She could feel him seething next to her but didn’t say anything. At least till the detectives left. 

     “Say it Bin,” Y/n sighed

     “What?” he asked

     “I can feel your anger from here.”

     “I’m mad for you. Not at you. How could you tell them about that so calmly?”

     “Started dissociating when it would happen. Can we just stop talking about it?”

     “Okay,” Changbin agreed, “The detectives also grabbed your personal belongings from the cabin. Nothing is evidence, just have to go to the station and get them, okay?”

     “Can you go get them for me?” 

     “Yeah. Ji said he’d come by later so I could go back home and sleep properly. We just didn’t want you to be alone when you woke up.”

     “Thanks,” Y/n smiled as a knock came from the door. She jumped a bit but was relieved when it was just the doctor 

     “Ms. L/n. It’s nice to see you awake,” she smiled

     “Thanks,” Y/n said

     “There’s a couple of things I wanna go over with you.”

     “Do you want me to leave?” Changbin asked

     “You can stay bin.”

     “Alright. We ran a few tests while you were asleep to make sure everything was okay. No major damage to any bones or organs thankfully. I do want you to talk to a therapist about what you went through. Events like this can be very traumatic and we want to give you a safe space to talk about it.”

     “Ok.”

     “One of the tests we ran was a pregnancy test and it did come back positive.”

     “Oh…”

     “I’ll give you some time to think about where you want to go from here with the pregnancy. Please think it through, I’ll have our hospital psychiatrist come down and talk to you later today, okay.”

     “Okay,” Y/n nodded

     The doctor gave her one last smile before she left the room. Y/n took a shaky breath as she fell further into the pillow.

     “Hey, don’t cry.” Bin grabbed a tissue and wiped her tears, “We’ll figure it out. Okay?”

     “I don’t want to carry a piece of him with me, Bin,” Y/n cried

     “You don’t have to, okay? This is your decision. I’ll help you out with anything you need.”

     Y/n nodded her head as Changbin hugged her. Trying to comfort her as best as he could. Getting her calmed down after a few minutes and opted just to change the subject before Jisung showed up, hiding a batch of Felix’s brownies.

     “He wasn’t sure if you were ready to see him so he just sent them with me,” he explained

     “I’m gonna go pick up your stuff from the police station and grab you some clothes for when you get discharged, okay?” Changbin said as he checked he had everything

     “Okay,” Y/n nodded 

     “Have they said anything about discharging her?” Jisung asked

     “No. The doctor came in earlier but just went over the tests.”

     “Ah. Okay. I’ll keep you updated then.”

     Changbin nodded and left the room.

     “Want a brownie?” Jisung asked

     “Yeah,” Y/n smiled

     Y/n was thankful Jisung didn’t ask anything. Just kept her company till Changbin came back with her things and until the psychiatrist came in to talk to her. By the next morning, they were discharging her with clear instructions to take it easy and set up a meeting with a therapist. Changbin drove her back to her apartment. Getting up to the building and looking up at it.

     “You don’t have to go up. Chan won’t mind you staying with us. We have the spare room,” Changbin offered, noticing her hesitation

     “All my stuff is up there…”

     “I can come over and grab stuff.”

     “... You sure I can stay with you and Chan?”

     “Yeah.”

     “Okay…”

     “I’ll drop you off with Chan then come back and get some of your stuff.”

     “Thank you.”

     Changbin let Chan know the situation threw a few quick texts before heading to his place. Chan met her outside and helped her out of the car. Changbin promised to be back as soon as he could before driving off.

     “Long time no see,” Chan smiled as he brought her inside.

     Y/n sat on the couch as Chan grabbed her some water and a blanket. “I’m sorry I didn’t visit you in the hospital…” She finally said

     “Ah. I barely even noticed.” Chan waved it off, “I’m just glad you’re safe.”

     “I should have listened to you guys…”

     “Y/n, stop blaming yourself. You were as much of a victim of him as we were.”

     “But if I never met him then none of this would happened.”

     “Y/n, I think Jeongin would have come into your life one way or another,” Chan said

     “But—”

     “No buts. He’s criminally insane and is where he belongs. None of this is your fault.”

     “Can I have a hug?”

     “Of course.”

     Chan moved closer to her and wrapped his arms around her. He turned on a comfort movie per her request till Changbin got back. The two let her shower and ordered dinner for the three of them, checking on her every so often.

     Nights were the worst for her. Most of the time she didn’t sleep, when she did she’d have nightmares. Chan and Changbin both offered to stay with her but the thought of sharing a bed with someone after her ex was worse. They both understood and gave her her space. Eventually, Felix and Hyunjin came around. Telling her they didn’t blame her for what happened, just glad she got out.

     The guys all helped her as best they could. Even helping her find a therapist and getting back to her normal life. Y/n was lucky her old job understood what happened and welcomed her back into the company, with a remote position till she was ready to come back to the office on her own. She wasn’t going to complain— especially with the pay raise.

     Y/n was in the middle of working when Changbin knocked on her door. “You got a second?”

     “Yeah,” Y/n said as she turned to him

     “Minho texted me earlier and said Seungmin was getting discharged from the hospital. Felix wants to do something small at one of our places for everyone getting out of the hospital. Chan offered for us to do it here as long as you’re okay with it,” Changbin said

     “Something small?” Y/n asked for conformation

     “Yeah. A movie night or something.”

     “Okay. I’ll let them know. Also, Seungmin’s talking again and he gave his statement but he does want to talk to you too.”

     “Why…?”

     “I don’t know. Minho didn’t tell me much. Just that he wanted to talk to you.”

     “Okay…” 

     “I don’t think it’s going to be bad Y/n. You guys both went through something traumatic. It might help for you guys to talk about it to someone who understands.

     Y/n nodded before he left her to finish up her work. The movie night was planned for the end of the week when everyone was free. The group ordered pizza— something simple— and had a list of movies to watch. Y/n stuck next to Changbin for most of the first movie. 

     She looked down at her phone as it vibrated with a text notification 

Seungmin: I don't want to disturb the movie but can we talk?

                 maybe outside?

Y/n: yeah

     The two quietly got up and went outside. It was starting to cool off from the afternoon sun as they sat at a small table that was outside. 

     “How have you been?” Y/n asked

     “Better i guess. How about you?” Seungmin asked 

     “Better. Therapy helps a bit.”

     Seungmin nodded, “I’m sorry Y/n.”

     “Why are you sorry?”

     “Back when we broke up, about a month before, I had met Jeongin. He’d seemed normal and harmless at the time but it was a short lived friendship. He’d threatened me to break up with you when I mentioned wanting to propose to you. I hadn’t told him much about you but he seemed to know everything about you and our relationship. I thought he was joking then he…”

     “Seung…”

     “He’d pulled a gun on me. He watched me send the break up text then told me I wasn’t going to see you again and I guess that’s when I was technically kidnapped?”

     “Wait. He had you for almost a year and a half?”

     “Yeah… He threatened to kill me a lot but I think he got off on the idea of making me watch you two.”  “Wait, what do you mean watch?”

     “The police didn’t tell you?”

     “Tell me what?”

     “He had security cameras in the cabin and your place. For a year he forced me to watch the two of you together and in the cabin.”

     Y/n sat back, taking in the info. She felt disgusted with herself knowing that. 

     “He’d come down to the cellar because I was trying to pull the chains off the wall to get out. I saw you send the text on the cameras and tried distracting him longer in case someone immediately showed up.”

     “He kept bringing you up… that night he thought I was thinking about you when we were—“

     “You don’t have to relive it Y/n. I watched him do it to you for a month. I just never had the audio for it.”

     “I'm sorry, Min.”

     “This is not your fault, Y/n. I should have done something to protect you and I didn’t.”

     “He threatened your life Min. What were you supposed to do?”

     “Anything other than what happened. It still keeps me up at night knowing I —“

     “Min,” Y/n grabbed his hand, holding it in hers, “He had a gun on you. You couldn’t have done anything.”

     Seungmin looked down at their hands and covered hers with his other, “Doesn’t stop me wishing I could go back in time and stop this from ever happening.”

     “We can’t though. Just have to try and get past it.”

     Seungmin nodded and squeezed her hands. Y/n stood and offered him a hug. Seungmin gladly accepted and wrapped his arms around her tightly 

     “How about we help each other heal?”

     “I’d like that.”

     Y/n pulled away and looked at him. “You were going to propose?”

     “Yeah. Why wouldn’t I?” Seungmin smiled before they heard a bang behind them. 

     Both looked after getting a bit freighted from the noise and saw their friends. Watching them.

     “I’m going to kick their asses,” Seungmin groaned 

     Y/n giggled, seeing the old Seungmin was still there.

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