The Perfect Date | Knj

the perfect date | knj

❝between two demanding jobs there was little time to be with one another without any outside pressure. after months of never being able to go on a date, namjoon plans a weekend away to the beach. one thing he soon learned is that you always should check the weather beforehand. always.❞

• co-author: @randomkoalablog helped to write the smut scene and i appreciate niah for making this fic come together so nicely!

• pairing: bookstore owner namjoon x female journalist reader

• genre: fluff, smut, bookstore au, journalist au, established relationship

• rating: 18+

• warning(s): unprotected sex and some profanity. 

• word count: 5.3k

• note: this is a commissioned fic for @joontopia that is a part of the rising from the ashes donations dedicated to helping those who have been impacted by the west coast fires! thank you so so much for donating and allowing me to write your fic! i hope you enjoy this and it turned out to be what you hoped for!

• beta readers: @raejeon read the first initial chunk of this fic after it was written so thank you for taking the time to give me feedback !! @vminity21​ is an angel for going through the whole fic and making sure it all flowed together, i love you.

Continuar lendo

Abundance, Success and Healing in the next 3 months to whoever reblogs. 🧿💎

persona: the series

part three; reunited (final part)

includes — crying, lots n lots of crying, etc.

a/n — highkey debated posting this because the series flopped so bad but- anyway, this is the last and final part :D hope you enjoy for those of you who actually did read!!

tagging: @neosincity, @hello-im-butter

it’s been 4 years, 8 months, 15 days, and 17 hours.

namjoon had been gone for 4 years, 8 months, 15 days, and 17 hours.

you believed he was dead for 4 years, 8 months, 15 days, and 17 hours.

4 years, 8 months, 15 days, and 17 hours, and he’s back. he’s finally back. he’s been away for so long but he’s finally back.

his steps are heavy as he makes his way to your apartment. he stops in front of your apartment, taking a deep breath. he takes off his cap, and pulls down his mask.

he feels his eyes water, he feels his lip quiver as he tucks it between his teeth. he raises his hand and knocks on the door.

it doesn’t take long for you to reach the door. he hears the padded foot steps as you walk towards the door, he hears the locks click open. and finally, he sees the door slowly open.

“hello i-“ your heart drops to your feet. he soaks in your appearance after four long years. you look good. great. you look polished now, even more so than the last time he saw you 4 years ago. it looks real. upon seeing him, memories of the past years without him comes crashing back, and your facade cracks. a shaking hand comes up to cup your mouth. you still have your wedding ring on.

“hi.” he mumbles, voice thick with emotion.

your eyes feel with tears, and your arms outstretched to pull him into a hug. he cries. and he cries hard. years of tears cascading down his cheeks.

you pull him inside, only momentarily pulling away to close the door and pull him to the couch. you hug him again as if he was going to disappear in your arms and right before your eyes.

“namjoon, joonie, h-how? i-“ you begin, struggling to form words. “i- i know. i’ll explain everything soon, i promise. i’ll fix everything soon, i promise. i won’t ever break a promise to you again. i love you, so fucking much. i’ll never leave you again.” namjoon says, voice cracking as he speaks, body wracking with sobs.

you hold him tighter, making sure he’d never be able to leave you for that long again. it’s been a long time coming, but the two of you are finally reunited again and you never plan on letting go.

I am absolutely begging y'all to shut the fuck up with the "this isn't something to celebrate and we can do so much better" posts. Like congrats, you got your woke points for the day, but jesus fucking christ. A lot of people worked incredibly fucking hard for this day and we are all aware that Biden isn't exactly an angel but JUST LET PEOPLE BE HAPPY FOR TWO FUCKING SECONDS!!! WE WON!!

wildflower {three}

What happens when you start to fall out of love with your husband? What happens when that husband is Kim Namjoon?

pairing: idol husband Namjoon x reader

tag / warnings: just some angst

author note: thanks for the support! <3 please let me know what you think and where you think all of this is going! i’d love to hear :) also! if you’d like to be on the tag list, let me know!

I wasn’t sure for how long I walked but the hours ticked by minute by minute until I just couldn’t walk anymore. The burning in my legs was too much, the slow burning migraine was too much, everything felt like it was just too much and I just didn’t know what to do anymore. The only solace I could think of was to just crawl into bed and stay there forever. But the more I walked and walked the more I feared going home.

Home.

What even was that word anymore?

I was supposed to always be at home with Namjoon. He was supposed to be my home. Wherever he was that’s where home was meant to be as long as we were together.

But so much had changed and that word felt foreign to me now and how was I supposed to face Namjoon after what I had revealed?

I was terrified.

What would he say? What would he do? What would happen to the fragments that seemed to make up my family?

It was that fear that left me in limbo and walking around the city for hours until darkness encompassed everything around me and the streetlights faded on until they were the only illuminating and bright part of the whole day. I knew when I went back to the apartment everything was going to change. I wasn’t sure if I was ready for that change but I knew at some point it was inevitable.

Thoughts raced through my mind as I walked up the apartment building steps towards the elevator. It was jarring to say the least when I didn’t go and pick up Yumi from school, when I didn’t bother to check my phone for the number of missed calls I was sure to find from Namjoon, and when I finally did return home after the longest night of my life to find that the house was clean, Yumi was fast asleep and dinner had been ordered and yet completely untouched.

When I walked in the door, took off my shoes and entered the living room I was immediately met with the man I had left broken at the cafe. He looked completely disheveled and distraught which not only caught me off guard but left my stomach in knots.

“Love, where the hell have you been!?” Crushed in the strongest hug I’d received from my husband in such a long time I felt suddenly dizzy and overwhelmed by his smell, his proximity, everything that was him and it took a long moment to fully process what was happening to me. His hug at that moment - after walking to the point I had blisters on my feet - felt like the weight of the world had just been lifted off my shoulders and I just wanted to cry.

This was so unexpected. I thought I would have been met with an empty house, silence filling the brim to every corner, the door to the studio to be locked shut tight to never be opened again. Instead here he was, my stranger of a husband, pulling me close to him openly without a threat, without hesitation, without a cold hand.

“Namjoon,” I tried to speak but things wouldn’t really come out. My voice felt stuck in my throat, lumps forming and trying to choke me, and I really just wanted to sleep for eternity. My body, mind and heart were so tired and heavy it hurt to even just be awake and standing there and yet, he was lifting me up more than I ever knew I needed in that moment.

“Shhh, it’s okay.” He grabbed me by the face so lightly, so gently and tender, I thought I might die from the warm contact. “Babe, I’ve been so worried.” His voice was so soft, his hands so warm and comforting in that moment I couldn’t help myself. Hot tears were spilling down my face before I could register what was happening and Namjoon, being oddly sweet given the circumstances of being told I wanted to disown him, took his thumbs to dry them all no matter how much they were falling. Why was he being so goddam sweet to me when I just wanted him to scream; yell at me and tell me he wanted nothing to do with me. Anything but this. Memories were flooding back again and my brain felt so foggy and heavy and all I wanted was a sense of relief. It felt like all the tears in the world wouldn’t make me feel better but somehow, with Namjoon holding me, I felt like I could at least breathe. “I don’t know what I would have done if you hadn’t come back.”

And now, in the middle of our living room, Namjoon was crying harder than I’d ever seen him cry. In that moment what was left in my heart completely broke.

I swallowed the lump in my throat, pushed myself off him as best I could to really see and judge his face, before he looked at me with the most pleading in his eyes I had ever seen in the many years I’d come to really know him. Everything was turning out wrong. Why was my heart hurting so much in that moment? I wanted this, didn’t I? Didn’t I just say, only hours prior, that I didn’t want to be with him? Why was it hurting so much to see him like this?

“I’m sorry,” I was speaking before my brain was processing what I was really saying, playing catch up while he took my hand in his palm to play with my wedding band and to kiss my fingers ever so lightly. “I’m sorry.” And there I was, apologizing like always. But this time it felt different. I wasn’t doing it for the sake of anyone but myself in that moment and that was starting to scare me. I’d finally admitted to Namjoon that I didn’t know myself, that I had lost all sense of who I was in the time we’d been married, that I didn’t want to be with him. And yet here we were - both crying in each other’s arms as if we didn’t want to let go. At least not yet.

“No, don’t say sorry to me. You have every right to tell me what you think and feel and I should apologize to you. I’m sorry I didn’t know that’s how you felt. But goddammit am I glad that you are standing in front of me right now.”

He was sniffling as we both tried our best to calm down and I just looked at him - really looked at him. He was so handsome even when sad. Even when his heart was clearly broken.

“Yumi?” My thoughts couldn’t help but float back to my daughter who looked so much like him. I felt terrible that I wasn’t there when she was done school, to pick her up and make sure she was okay. Did she even wonder where I was?

“She’s sleeping thanks to Jin,” He still had tears pooling in his eyes. “I called him right after you left and I couldn’t find you. I…I didn’t know what else to do. I’m just so glad that you’re here.” And there they were again; those arms slung around and enveloping me. I felt a million feelings hit me and wanted to say a million things all at once but instead I let my shaky arms envelope him back; pull him in closer towards me. Regardless of how I felt earlier that day I couldn’t deny that I missed being hugged by him despite the fact that not hours ago I told him I no longer wanted to be Mrs. Kim.

I wasn’t sure how long we stood there but after a while of being smothered by Namjoon and his sorrows I started to sober up. While I wasn’t entirely sure what had just happened between us, I was still certain about what I had said earlier. I didn’t know who I was anymore and how, given everything that we’d been through up until this point in time, be the best mother, wife and person that I could be if that was how I felt?

“Namjoon,” I tried but he wasn’t fully listening. Instead he just grabbed me tighter as if once he let go I would completely disappear. And I sort of felt that too. What would happen when this moment passed? How would we go on from this?

“Please,” Finally he spoke. “I love you so much.” And there he was, crying again. “Please…don’t leave me…please don’t leave me.”

The fact that my normally cold and calculated husband was practically begging me to stay by his side at this moment in time completely put a bad taste in my mouth. I had always been there - always - and he was the one who had always left me. And yet, the more he cried at me and begged me to stay the more I felt the feelings bubble back up that I had back at the cafe.

“I still meant what I said.” I choked out and I felt time instantly slow down and stop for the second time that day. When I went to look at Namjoon, he didn’t move. He didn’t say anything. He didn’t do anything.

“But…you came back.” He finally managed, looking as confused as ever and I snapped.

“Being back doesn’t change how I feel! I still don’t know who I am as a person anymore. I don’t have anything going on for me - just me. Just for me! I wake up everyday, take care of our daughter and then go to sleep. Every. Day. More often than not it’s completely by myself. You’re always away doing so many wonderful things and I feel so left behind. And it’s because I am. We are. Yumi and me. And it’s not fair!” I was starting to really lose it. Everything was flooding out of me all at once as if the box that kept everything hidden and secret for so long had just been unlocked. “I gave up everything to be with you! My career. My business. My dreams. And what have you done other than leave me!? You always leave me!” I was crying harder this time as I pushed him away and started to hit his chest as he tried to grab me to calm me down.

“It’s my job, what else do you want me to do?” He was still trying to wrangle me down from my temper with little outcome. He was frowning and tear stained; a totally beautiful mess. But my resolve was set.

“I want you to want us again! Is that so hard!?” I yelled and a long silence followed as I stood there with Namjoon gripping my arms. Eventually he pulled me in, closer and tenderly.

“I do want you. Always.” He was whispering now as I laid my head on his chest and breathed in his scent. I wanted to be consumed by it all at that moment in time. Everything felt so overwhelming but this felt so familiar and I wanted to hold onto it as long as possible as everything around me was changing. “Just you. Always you. Always this family and always you.”

“You never show it anymore. You’re so cold.” I whispered back and heard Namjoon clear his throat. All the crying he did was finally catching up and it looked as though, for once, this man was at a loss for words. “You never are here. And because of that, I don’t know you anymore.” I felt the tears start again as they drained from my body and fell down my face. “How can I be with someone I don’t know? I don’t even know myself, either. How can our daughter be raised by strangers?”

“We’re not strangers. I know you. I love you. And I want to be with you and this family above everything. I need you more than anything.”

“Above everything? Don’t lie to me.” He would never leave the group, the boys, the obligations that came with idol life. “You always lie to me.”

“I can’t change who I am and what I do! It’s what I love and it keeps food on the table. I have commitments. I’m committed to people and things and I will always follow through with them.”

“It also keeps you away. Those things always keep you away.” I paused, knowing full well that what I said next would change this little bubble we oddly found ourselves in tonight. “I know that it will never change. And because of that we shouldn’t be together.” And with that, I left him standing alone in the living room looking as defeated as I’d never seen him before.

tag list: @amordesiempre01​ @namucries​

please :(

I am literally begging, BEGGING modern media to portray healthy relationships. enough cheating. enough infidelity. enough disrespect. show me people who love each other, proper communication, and a strong mental as well as physical connection. I want plots about people who are madly in love with each other and STAY madly in love with each other. please. I am losing my mind.