[The Living Room Of The Hazbin Hotel. Alastor Is Sitting Comfortably In An Armchair, One Leg Crossed

[The living room of the Hazbin Hotel. Alastor is sitting comfortably in an armchair, one leg crossed over the other. Y/N, standing nearby, has a handful of rings, ready to play a game of ring toss with Alastor's antlers.]

Y/N: (Throws a ring, aiming for Alastor's antlers, but it misses and hits him on the head.)

Alastor: (Without flinching, in a cheerful tone) My dear, if you wanted my attention, you could've just asked. But I must say, I've never been part of such a unique carnival game before.

Y/N: (Throws another ring, which bounces off his antlers and lands on the floor.)

Alastor: (Smirking) Ah, so close! You're getting better. At this rate, you might even win a stuffed demon by the end of the century.

Y/N: (Laughs) Come on, Alastor, hold still. I almost had it that time!

Alastor: (Chuckling) Darling, I am the very picture of stillness. It's your aim that's more unpredictable than a sinner in a confessional.

Y/N: (Throws another ring, this one hitting Alastor squarely in the forehead.)

Alastor: (Feigning shock) Oh, bullseye! Though I must say, your accuracy with insults is far more impressive. But do carry on; this is the most entertainment I've had since the last apocalypse.

Y/N: (Grinning) Just you wait, I'll get one on there.

Alastor: (Laughs heartily) I'm sure you will, my dear. And when you do, I'll even let you choose the next twisted little game we play. Just remember, I always have a few tricks up my sleeves... or should I say, antlers?

[The scene ends with Y/N tossing another ring, determined to win the game, while Alastor continues to enjoy the playful banter.]

Lucifer - [ NSFW AUDIO #2 ]

(MDNI…if you do you’ll never see the light of day again…)

Idk why the photo I used makes me giggle sm….anyway I’m glad you all like the audios. I plan to do at least 2 for most of the characters (including Adam…) and I’m also attempting to find longer versions that fit them as well. Be patient with me you little feigns -I’ll do my best to deliver just cause I love you all sm. -The Radio Angel ❤️

Hi, i have a proposition for you...

Alastor catching himself bleating whenever reader touches him 👀

(i just find it so adorable when he squeaks like a little fawn when Rosie pulls him in that one scene and the theory that he does that only when he's happy and with a person he feels comfortable with)

Gdhdhd I had discovered this a while back, and the idea THRILLS me. To no fucking end! I hope this is okay and worth the wait! (Two Fics in one week? HUH?)

No warnings for this one! Just cute cute fluff (I'm doing my best! ;w; gdhdhdhd)

A Bleating Heart - Alastor x GN! Reader

You were reading your book in Alastor's armchair, taking in the heat that radiated from the mint green flames of the fireplace. When you heard a groan to your rear, you paused. You looked behind you, only to see Alastor tossing and turning onto his side. You couldn't help your frown, watching as Alastor's brows furrowed. The Radio Demon was frustrated, his cheek smashed into his pillow aggressively. 

"...everything alright, dear?" You ask softly, recalling that he was 'laying down' to get rid of his headache. Though you knew that Alastor wasn't one for sleep, you kept quiet and content all the same. But when he shook his head, pointing directly to it, you understood perfectly. 

" 'Antlers still bothering you, huh...? Headache?" 

Alastor hummed lowly, turning over and laying face down into his bed. While he was muffled by a pillow, you could barely make out what he said:

" I loathe shedding... It hasn't even begun, and-- oh, they itch-- to no end..." 

"And I assume that doesn't help your headache either?" 

Alastor grumbled, unable to be upset at your gentle pestering. You doted on him like his mother, a quality he would never admit to loving about you," ...Not a lick, dear..." 

You innocently stand from the armchair, walking over to Alastor's bedside," Would... Would it helped if you laid your head in my lap?" 

Alastor raises his head up slightly, eyes narrowed," I hardly see how that could help in this predicament..." You sigh, gently rolling Alastor over onto his back before sitting in the space he used to occupy. Begrudgingly, he did not stop you, but his eyes followed you cautiously. 

"Just trust me... Okay?" 

Alastor's expression soured. Trust is a hard-earned thing to receive from him. The Radio Demon, in all his glory, was slow to make acquaintances, and slower to give out trust. But, he relented, allowing you to sit beside him comfortably. When you patted your lap expectantly, Alastor complied. Due to his antlers, he awkwardly laid sideways on his bed, knees rising and coming together as his head finally met your lap. Thankfully, you would not be disemboweled by his accursed antlers tonight. 

When you smiled down to him, Alastor simply closed his eyes, unable to look your way without feeling embarrassed. This was well outside of his comfort zone. He was feeling incredibly vulnerable while his body did everything to antagonize him. He felt like he was between a rock and a hard place, despite your plush thighs cradling his head.

However, when he felt your hand brush against his hair, scratching gently, his throat ran dry. All nerves and stiffeness became lesser; like the rest of his senses, they became dulled. 

The touch was... Foreign, soft... But not unwelcome. It was soothing, even. When you continued to touch, your hands working in subtle circles against his scalp, he couldn't help the quiet, pleased hum that left him. 

" 'Feels good, my buck?" 

Alastor cracked one eye open, his smile wavering,"...please don't make me say it out loud," Alastor said quietly, a chuckle rising in his throat. You shrugged, not minding his shyness. 

"Hmm, it would be so much cuter if you did, though~" 

When your hand moved to an antler, scratching gently at the base, a full-body tremor ran through his neck down to his hooves. His knees knocked together, a quiet, animalistic noise tumbling out of him. You blink a few times, surprised by the noise, and decided to repeat the action. When a meek, content bleat hit your ears, your eyes nearly doubled in size. You were beaming down at Alastor, a large, giddy inhale expanding your chest. Your heart throbbed at the subconscious gesture. 

Meanwhile, Alastor's eyes were slammed shut, much tighter than before. His heart was racing with anxiety, his palms suddenly feeling clammy. 

Why. Why now, of all times, could he not keep his pathetic little ticks at bay? Of course he found comfort in your company, but-- 

...Maybe he should have used his words, after all. 

"Alastor, was that...?" 

"If you value your life, you will never speak of this again." 

You throw your free hand up defensively, a coy smile on your face," Oh sure, sure... Of course. Whatever you say, Alastor." When a second hand joined the other, lightly scratching at the base of his other antler, that small, high pitched bleat bounced right out of him. 

"Mmm... Yes... Yes, not a word, mon ange... Not a single word... but this-- this is fine for now..." 

You chuckle, increasing the pressure you applied as Alastor melted into your touch. 

"If you continue to be this adorable, I would never speak again, if it meant you stayed like this forever~" Alastor's hands folded together, laying on his chest. Soon enough his knees fell apart, creating a wide 'v'. He looks to you with both eyes as his brow twitches. 

"And what fun would that be? I rather enjoy our conversations, cher." You nearly snorted, surprised that Alastor didn't realize you were joking. 

You laugh, your shoulders shaking with an effort to be quiet as Alastor's legs finally gave out, hanging lazily off of the bed. When your hands moved higher up his antlers, you noticed his legs swinging back and forth idly. You wondered if he noticed, or if this was yet another subconscious action. 

" Fine, fine... I promise to keep talking~ but only if I get to keep spoiling you like this." 

Alastor feels his heart squeeze at the notion, a warmth spreading across his cheeks and ears. He refused to confirm or deny your request with words, instead shimmying his shoulders to sink further into your lap. An open-mouthed sigh was your only response as you lightly dragged your nails across one of his points, his hands untangling from one another. His body almost felt like liquefied, completely and utterly relaxed, taking up an obnoxious amount of space on his bed. And for once, he allowed himself a moment to enjoy it while in someone else's presence. 

He felt safe... Immensely so. But he would never profess to that to you so soon. 

For now, he was content with you playing with his hair, scratching his irritable antlers while he listened to you speak. Quite frankly, it wouldn't take long for Alastor's mind to shut down, his body losing the fight to slumber. When you noticed his breathing toggle to a steady, silent repetition, you resigned yourself to being a pillow. If you were honest, you would sooner die again than move from that spot. You would only permit that once Alastor woke up again, head clear and eyes soft... You wondered how he would look waking up, the adorable thought alone making you feel a surge of glee.

You didn't mind the sensation of pins and needles settling in your legs, knowing that this was a rare moment. Why interrupt something so fleeting? So precious?

You couldn't help but watch as Alastor laid in your lap, unmoving and completely slack. You decided you wouldn't tell him about how he lost his smile while he slept. In the rarest of moments, his lips were agape, formed into a flat, horizontal line. You'd tuck that secret into the back of your mind for safe keeping... A fond memory you'd hang on to for the rest of your afterlife. (A secret almost as precious as his quiet snores, which started when you played with his hair again.) You almost squeaked when Alastor bleated again, much softer than when he was awake. Yes, it would be best if you never mentioned it... Alastor would die from sheer embarrassment alone, you think.

You let out a tired yawn, your mind wandering. Honestly? If you were really, truly in Hell... Well, this was a pretty splendid way to spend it, wasn't it? Why seek forgiveness and redemption, when your entire world was in your lap? And with that thought in mind, you decided to get some sleep, your head resting against the cool wood of Alastor's headboard. 

A Misdemeanor Of The Heart: Teaser #3

Human Alastor x married reader

Rated Adult for adult themes, triggering content and sexual content

Series Trigger Warnings: Adultery, stalking, Sexual assault, Rape, smut of undetermined sorts, Domestic Violence, Time period accurate views on women and domestic violence and skin color, Alastor is a serial Killer, there's murder, there's angst, there's dark content.

Alastor is NOT the husband and is not a DV perpetrator.

If you know me from my old days you'll know this warning: Kit's up to her old shit again.

That said, please enjoy a unedited peek into Chapter 1

Tag list is open, Launching 6/26

@xalygatorx, @rainydaysmut, @catticora, @alastor-simp, @alastorthirsty, @nyx91, @goyablogsstuff, @kaylopolis, @sirens-and-moonflowers, @honestlyshamelesskid, @lilith-jae, @yui-onnero, @charlottemorningstarsdarling, @diffidentphantom

Smol bit of Alastor night night fluff.

Alastor pulls you into his chest, kissing each of your eye lids as you settle down together, your head pillowed on his chest fluff and fingers gently caressing his frantically wagging tail as he gives you a deep kiss.

"Good night Dearest, I love you," Alastor croons.

"I love you too Al, so much."

Alastor cuddles you even tighter.

"Mine."

How They React To You Sitting On Their Laps

Imagine you sit on Alastor’s, Lucifer’s, Husk’s, Vox’s, Adam’s, Sir Pentious’s and Saint Peter’s laps? You’re not in a relationship with any of them, btw.

Alastor:

Alastor’s hands seized your hips, his claws threatening to tear into the thin fabric of your skirt as you shifted on his lap, trying to make yourself comfortable. “What are you doing?” He hissed, a forbidden feeling stirring in between his legs. Alastor was struggling to pay attention to Charlie’s speech, distracted by the feeling of your clothed cunt against his crotch.

“I’m sorry,” You whispered, but you only apologized for the dampness that suddenly seeped through your panties, staining his once pristine slacks. “I didn’t mean to—“

“Oh, darling, it’s too late for that,” Alastor whispered back, the usual static behind his voice absent. “Now, be a good girl and keep that mouth of yours shut.”

Alastor’s ragged breaths caressed your nape, giving in to the need to feel you and tentatively moving your hips against his. Even though your clit dragged perfectly against his erection, you only finished quickly because the Radio Demon was dry humping you in a room full of people, your lips parting with a silent moan as he told you to meet him at his tower later.

Lucifer:

Lucifer stared up into the ceiling, his hands restlessly flexing against your waist as he tried to avoid the sight of your ass wiggling against his crotch. “I don’t mind standing, you know,” He told you, chuckling nervously. You couldn’t let the King of Hell give up his seat for you, but by the time you settled down, it was too late, his erection slotted in between your clothed cunt.

“Fuck,” He muttered under his breath, feeling utterly ashamed, but you pretended to act clueless. “I’m not a pervert, I swear.”

“What are you talking about?” You asked, looking over your shoulder and peering down at the man, a look of surprise on his face.

Lucifer sucked in his lower lip, stifling a groan when you proceeded to grind down onto his lap, his crotch dampening in no time. He felt absolutely filthy as you, a stranger, effortlessly coaxed an orgasm out of him in a room full of people. It took all of Lucifer’s willpower not to hike your skirt up over your waist and push your panties aside to bury himself into you.

Husk:

Husk held onto your hips, his face nestled in the crook of your neck as you sat on his lap, trying to distract you from his growing erection. “How’s ya drink, doll?” He spoke into your ear, pop music blaring in the background. You peered down at him, an amused smile gracing your lips. Husk wasn’t usually so talkative, but you quickly figured out what was his deal.

“It’s good, do you want to try it?” You asked him, purposely shifting against his crotch as you turned around to offer him some. “Come on, I know you want a taste, old man.”

“The Hell is that supposed to mean?” Husk responded gruffly, his eyes nervously darting to everybody else at the booth, making sure they weren’t paying attention. “I’m just…ya know, ‘cause ya movin’ too much—“

Husk hissed when you wiggled your ass, his hands gripping your hips with a bruising strength. He tried to warn you, but you didn’t care, taking a sip of your drink as you dragged your clothed cunt against his erection. Husk eventually gave into your ministrations, taking advantage of the loud environment and sighing into your neck, thrusting up to relieve himself alongside you.

Vox:

Vox’s claws tapped impatiently against the armrest of his chair as you sat on his lap, that dreaded pencil skirt of yours riding up incredibly high. “Are you almost done?” He asked, trying to focus on you working instead of your exposed panties, the thin, lacey fabric teasing him from his peripheral vision. You nodded, sitting down completely as you rebooted his monitors.

“Yes, sir. I’m sorry for taking long,” You said, smiling to yourself at the feeling of your boss’s growing erection poking your ass. “You need to stop interacting with random links, by the way.”

“I swear, I haven’t interacted with a single link since you last helped me out,” Vox said. You hummed as if you weren’t the one who had purposely downloaded viruses to sit on his lap again. “It must be something else.”

Vox huffed, annoyed, but then you leaned forward, slightly lifting your ass up and pretending to resume your attention to his monitors. There was no way you hadn’t felt his erection, his eyes flitting down to see your panties drenched in your slick. Vox decided to buck up into your clothed cunt, and when you responded with a soft moan, he decided to fuck you on his desk for being a tease.

Adam:

Adam bounced his leg as you sat on his lap, a wicked smile growing on his face when you dropped your pen, your clothed cunt throbbing against his thigh. “Something the matter, babe?” He said, hooking his fingers underneath your skirt, moving it further up your waist. You were annoyed, but at the same time, you couldn’t help but part your legs and give Adam what he wanted.

“This is due in less than half an hour, sir,” You huffed, picking up your pen once more and trying to get back to your paperwork on your desk. “I need to do my job—“

“I’m your boss, babe, relax! You won’t get fired—I won’t let it happen,” Adam said, his erection poking at your ass. “Now, be a good girl and ride my fucking leg. Come on, don’t be shy.”

Adam placed one hand on your hip and the other on your breast, encouraging you to move against him. And you did, abandoning the paperwork and bracing yourself on the corners of your desk, feeling absolutely filthy as you dragged your cunt on the man’s leg, drenching his robes with your juices in no time. That was only the beginning, however, feeling him pushing your panties aside.

Sir Pentious:

Sir Pentious tried to give up his spot on the couch for you, but when you declined, he offered you his lap like the gentlemen he was. “Is everything alright, my dear?” He asked you, his hands flexing against your waist. You kept shifting in his lap, and oh, Pentious was trying his absolute best to not let it get to him. But with your skirt hiking up with your ministrations, he was struggling.

“Sorry, we’ve just been here for a while so I’m starting to get restless,” You whispered to him, which was partly true.

“Oh, I sssee,” Pentious said, interrupting himself with a squeak as he felt the warmth of your clothed cunt, but he didn’t have the heart to tell you to stop.

Sir Pentious sunk into the couch, biting his tongue as you subtly rocked against his crotch, oblivious to the fact that you were trying to figure out if the rumors about him having two dicks were true. And they were, a blush creeping up your neck at the feeling of them poking you. You felt bad for lying to Pentious, but you’d make it up to him later, willing to put both of your holes to use.

Saint Peter:

Saint Peter shifted underneath you, your clothed cunt slack against his crotch as you sat on his lap, so warm and tempting. “It’s nice, isn’t it?” He nervously chuckled, struggling to fend off the feeling stirring in between his legs while you looked through the list of people slated to arrive in Heaven. Peter hoped that God would forgive him for the sinful thoughts that circulated his mind.

“It gets longer with time, right?” You asked him, slowly turning to the next page, a small smile gracing your lips as his breath hitched.

“I, uh—excuse me?” Peter said, confused, but then you said ‘The Book,’ shame flooding his brain for misinterpreting your question. “Oh! Yes, yes. Of course. Every day there’s a new page.”

Saint Peter deflated at that, so you decided to stop being a tease and moved against his crotch. He opened his mouth to ask you what you were doing, but you tossed your head back onto his shoulder, carding a hand through his hair and bringing him in for a kiss. You swallowed the surprised gasp that escaped Peter’s throat, including his shame as you ruined his favorite robes with your juices.