*reads Anything That Involves Characters Bringing Up Lesson 16 And It Being Angsty Angst*

*reads anything that involves characters bringing up lesson 16 and it being angsty angst*

me: “good soup👌🏾“

On God, He Didn't Mean It (Ft. Mammon and GN! MC)

Warnings: Season 1 Spoilers, death, body gore, angst, like so much angst, self-blaming, mental breakdowns, bad dreams, romantic relationships implied.

Length: ???

Genre: Angst, hurt, some comfort.

Summary: He didn't mean it. He never meant it. He swears to God.

A/N: Ohhh folks is this one angsty. Be sure to practice self care while reading, and know your limits.

On an unrelated note, my laptop isn't working for some reason, and all of my drafts are stuck on it. Apologies to anyone who's made requests, I haven't forgotten about them! I'll see if I can get it fixed but I may have to start over with some of them. Sorry for any delays or formatting problems because of this ^-^

I hope you enjoy the fic!

-Ethereal :D 🌼

He didn’t mean it.

He swears on his life, he swears to God that he didn’t mean it.

He swears to you he didn’t mean it.

He repeats it over and over, pulling you as close as he could without breaking you anymore than you already were. 

“I didn’t mean it, I didn’t mean it, please, I didn’t mean it!” He shouted so loudly his voice broke. He needed you to understand.

You tried to speak, but all that came out was a sputtered cough and speckles of red.

He let out a distressed whimper. “No, no, don’t talk, ‘kay? You’re gonna be fine, okay? Please, you’re going to be fine! Right, Lucifer!?”

Mammon glanced up from you for a split second to look at his older brother. Lucifer would make this all better. He always did.

But Lucifer’s expression was grim. In fact, he seemed to be fighting to keep it together himself.

“Their injuries are rather severe,” was all he said, his eyes fixed your broken form.  

“No!” He screamed. “No, don’t say that! Please!” He begged. “You know I never meant it, right? That thing I said about dying?” He asked.

You looked at him. The blank expression in your eyes terrified him.

“You remember, don’cha?” He asked. “After The Seven Lords quiz, you slipped, and I was fixin’ up your wrist?”

You squinted your eyes, trying to remember through the hazy blackness that was swallowing you.

The Seven Lords quiz…

A faint glint of recognition flashed in your eyes, and Mammon jumped at the opportunity before he lost you again.

“Yeah, yeah, that!” He praised. “You remember what I said, don’t you?”

The glimmer was gone as you zoned out again.

“Hey, hey!” He said, his voice becoming laced with panic again. “Stay with me, okay? Hang in…t-there…”

He stuttered along with your breathing.

It was becoming much shallower, much less regular.

Then it stopped all together.

He froze.

No.

No.

No.

No, no, no, no, no, no.

This couldn’t be happening.

It couldn’t.

“Hey!” He shouted. “No, no, come back, please-!” He cut himself off with a choked sob. “You can’t leave me, not yet, okay? Do you hear me? Please, you can’t-!”

Mammon felt a hand on his shoulder.

“Mammon…” Lucifer said quietly. “I…I don’t think they’re with us anymore.”

“Don’t say that!” He said. “No, no, they’re fine, see!?” He brushed your hair out of your face, doing his best to ignore your vacant eyes.

“You’re okay…aren’t ya?” He whispered.

You didn’t respond.

“Please…?” He asked. Do this one thing for him, and he’d never ask anything of you again.

All he needed was to know was that you were okay.

Still, you offered no response.

Helplessly, he looked up at his brothers.

Beel and Levi had both been shocked into silence.

Satan stared blankly at the floor, stroking Asmo’s hair as he sobbed into his shoulder.

He looked to Lucifer, whose hand was still on his shoulder. His eyes were teary, and his lip was trembling as he stared at you.

Mammon looked back at you.

To his horror, you looked so much worse than you had thirty seconds ago.

Your skin seemed to be melting off your flesh, and he suppressed the urge to vomit as maggots began crawling out of your skin.

Soon, all of your flesh had melted into a horrible puddle on the floor, leaving only your bones.

And soon after, your bones began to crumble into dust.

And Mammon began to scream.

“Mammon?"

He should've done better! He was your protector!

“Mammon!”

He never even got the chance to tell you that he loved you.

“Mammon!”

***

He jolted awake, gasping for breath.

He sat up, eyes wide as he tried to find you in the dark room. It didn’t take him long; you were right in front of him, perched on the edge of your bed.

“Hey, hey, it’s okay,” You reassured him, squeezing his hand. “It was just a dream.”

He froze.

Then suddenly, without warning, he grabbed you and forced you into the crook of his shoulder. “I didn’t mean it!” He cried. “I swear, I swear I didn’t mean it!”

Confused, you reached up and began running your fingers through his hair. “Didn’t mean what, sweetie?”

“W-What I told you after the TSL quiz! About dying! I didn’t mean it, okay? And I know I never told you, but-! I promise!”

“The TSL…? Oh.” You stiffened slightly as you remembered exactly what he meant. More specifically, you remembered the last time he brought it up.

It was hazy, but you remembered.

It was hard to forget.

“I didn’t mean it!” He repeated, squeezing you even tighter. “I didn’t mean it, I promise! I didn’t tell you, but I love you! I love you so much! You’re everything to me! I'm so sorry, treasure!" He sobbed, clinging to you as if you might dissapear.

You felt your eyes tearing up. It was both touching and heartbreaking to watch him fall apart over you.

"Hey, hey, shh..." you went back to playing with his hair. "It's okay," you said, unsure of what else to do.

"How can you say that!?" He demanded, pulling back to look you in the eye. He was so upset he was trembling.

You didn't have a good answer for that.

"I-It's not okay!" He exclaimed, voice cracking. "Nothing is okay! Belphie killed you!"

You flinched a little. It wasn't very often anyone said it out loud. You could barely stand to admit it to yourself.

"I hate that you don't feel safe in your own home anymore! I hate him for taking you away from me! I hate myself because I couldn't protect you! I'm so sorry!"

Your heart dropped.

"Whoah!" You said, immediately throwing your arms around him. "No, no, no!"

"I'm sorry!" He repeated, hugging you back.

"No!" You repeated. "It's not-!" You cut yourself off with a gasp. You were crying just as much as he was. "It's not your fault!"

"Why not, huh!? It was my job to protect you! I had one job, and I failed!"

You shook your head violently. "No, no you didn't! You didn't fail at all! No one thinks you did!"

"But I do!" He cried. "I know I did! I messed up like I always do, and I lost you!"

You shook your head, unable to say anything as you sobbed.

"I love you!" He said. "I love you, so, so much!"

"I love you too," you managed to choke out.

You two stayed like that a while, sobbing in each other's arms.

Mammon was right. None of this was okay. Neither of you would be okay for a while, and even then, you doubted things would ever go back to the way they were.

But you had him, and he had you.

And right now, that was all that mattered.

I'm a woman of the people, here's a specific guide for Cyno's scarabs

Edit: these are the ones that are easily accessible without having to do any quests or domains :)

Creator Spotlight: @min-play​

I’m Min! I’m an animator and storyboard  rti t who also posts comics and fan art online. So far, I have worked on the Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and LEGO Monkie Kid. I run on AAA batteries.

Check out our interview with Min below!

How did you get your start in animation and storyboarding?

Fanart! My hyperfixations kept me drawing and posting online since I was around 16. Later I dropped my Computer Science degree to study animation. After graduating, I worked as an In-between Animator, Key Animator, and Storyboard Artist. My fanart of a couple funny skeletons played a big role in getting hired.

What do you wish you knew when you first started out creating content that you know now?

It’s ok to make mistakes. All the flaws in a drawing make it look much more interesting. Also, it’s a lot more fun than spending ages perfecting one line.

Have you ever had an art block? If so, how did you overcome it?

I always get 3 different flavors of art block (that I remember):

Art block from perfectionism

Sometimes there’s this self-enforced pressure that what you make has to be of a certain standard. Gotta loosen up and forgive yourself for not meeting an imaginary quality. Do it for the fun of it. Instead of thinking’ needs to be better,’ think ‘eh good enough lol.’ It’s cool to strive for improvement! Just don’t do it to the point it becomes self-deprecating.

Art block from burnout

Art hibernation! It’s ok to take breaks. Not every waking moment needs to be productive. Treat yourself to something yummy, hang out with people you’re comfortable with, or pick up a new anime series. Take the time to get some well-deserved rest.

Art block while drawing as a full-time job

WELL DANG.

Switch your ‘drive.’ If you’re running off on passion or interest as a motivator for work, that’s great! I do too! But also, it’s finicky. Set up routines for when that high runs out. I have a ‘Do task’ mode where I play a song or a movie I already watched on loop in the background (sometimes for weeks on end). I don’t know why but it helps me concentrate. Last week, it was the movie Cars.

These are personal methods and may not work for everyone, but I hope it helps!

What are 3 things you can’t live without as a creator?

Music + Noise-canceling headphones + Big blanket = Comfort force field

What is a medium that you have always been intrigued by but would never use yourself?

Does blacksmithing count as a medium? I’d like to try it out at least once, though.

How do you want to evolve as a creator?

To connect with other creators more. Especially writers. They are so powerful.

Warm tones or cool tones?

Cool tones! Especially this one particular blend of blue and green.

Who on Tumblr inspires you and why?

So maaaanyy. At the top of my head, though: @northpen​. I am obsessed with their vivid-imagery writing style, and immaculate characterizations. Their character banters always have me in a gigglefit. They have this fic I binged in one sitting and left me crying and empty in a good way.

Thank you for such amazing answers, Min! You can check out more of Min’s creations over at @min-play​!

p l e a se

For those who don’t know (like me):

Apparently most of the scarabs are underground- which is accessible via the Golden Slumber world quest-

POV: Cyno havers right now (me)

Finding scarabs for cyno is harder than finding onikabutos for heizou i swear

A whole new level of pain TT

i wish so fucking bad that schools would teach even the most basic nature and wildlife literacy. bc what they teach now is how we get these godawful lawns and monocultures and an endlessly growing list of extinct animal species. like i can’t even count how many times i’ve been trying to explain to people why mosquitoes/moths/bats/flies/wasps/etc are so important and people have gone “but that’s what bees are for (pollination)” or “birds can just eat other things” or “things decompose on their own”. it has to be in the dozens. nothing makes me as upset as when people simply cannot wrap their heads around the fact (fact, fact, fact) that every single organism has its purpose in nature and there is *nothing* that is “pointless”. ignorance like this is what leads to barren monoculture lawns and deforestation and “pest control” and devastating invasive species and expanding extinction/endangerment lists. i just wish schools would teach that every animal and plant has its place, and *nothing* needs to be exterminated as a whole, *especially* native wildlife. but of course capitalism can’t thrive on proper environmentalism so i guess we’ll just have to deal with this.

That post that's like "stop writing characters who talk like they're trying to get a good grade in therapy" really blew the door wide open for me about how common it's become for a character's emotional intelligence to not be taken into consideration when writing conflict. I remember the first time I went to therapy I had such a hard time even identifying what I was feeling, let alone had the language to explain it to someone else. Of course there are plenty of people who've never been to therapy a day in their life who are in tune to their emotions. But even they would have some trouble expressing themselves sometimes. You have to take into account there are plenty of people who are uncomfortable expressing themselves and people who think they're not allowed to feel certain ways. It also makes for more interesting conflict to have characters with different levels of understanding.