Negansbestie - C.

lilies

daryl dixon x fem!reader

it's my first work, i hope you like it.

summary: reader has just lost her sister, and dixon finds her. he has just lost his brother, so their hearts beat in the same rhythm.

warnings: death of a relative, angst, mention of suicide, mention of violence, fluffy, and protected!daryl.

words count: 2257.

i might continue this.

a night had never been so tragic. the clouds had witnessed your suffering and seemed on the verge of shedding an irreversible cry. the leaves of the trees swayed gently, their sound so delicate it almost went unnoticed. your life had always been filled with noise—the laughter of your mother, the endless stories your father told. they gave your life a special meaning. when you closed your eyes, you could gather their voices in your memories, but now, they were dead and those memories were failing. you could barely remember if your mother's voice was high-pitched or if your father had a particular way of pronouncing certain consonants. you were forgetting them unconsciously because no child wishes to forget the voices of the people who brought them into this world. your hand sought your own throat, gently wrapping around it. your vocal cords were the only instrument capable of bringing back their melodies. your blood was irreversibly theirs.

however, there was one person you thought you'd never have to forget. you knew it was naïve to think that in a world so shattered, but a part of you clung to that hope—a hope that was completely destroyed after your sister was gunned down by a man who mistook her for a walker. it was your fault for leaving your small refuge to look at the stars. you'd let your guard down, thinking the world might not be as broken as it was. the man who killed your sister approached her body when he heard her scream, and when he realized what had happened, a laugh escaped his lips, and he shot her one last time in the head. you saw it all from behind some trees that sheltered you but couldn’t shield you from the memory. you wanted to lift your weapon and shoot him, wanted to be braver, wanted so many things, but you did nothing. you watched as the stranger looted your sister's body, leaving her in just her underwear, and walked away. he had taken the only person you had left, stealing her knife, her favorite shirt, and a pair of worn-out jeans. he had laid his filthy hands on her body, treating it like meat to be cleaned and discarded. meanwhile, you stayed hidden, biting your own hand to avoid giving him the satisfaction of hearing you cry.

you were trembling so much that before you could reach your sister’s body, your legs gave out, and you had to crawl. you hugged your sister with a strength you didn’t know you had, crying silently for fear that the gunshot might have awakened countless dead—or worse, the living. they were the worst of all because everything they did was intentional. lately, everyone acted on their own will, so killing your sister had not been a simple act; it was something cruel. you wanted to lift her and take her somewhere else, you tried, and when you realized you couldn’t because of your weakness, this time, you screamed until your throat tore. your heart beat so fast that you just wanted to rip it out of your chest and place it near your sister. after all, that was where it belonged. you looked at the semi-naked body of the last person you had left and thought it might be best to end everything there. you still had your gun; you could press the barrel to your forehead and finish it all.

then you heard the sound of a walker dragging its feet toward you, making those terrifying noises. you thought maybe you should let those teeth tear you apart; you deserved nothing less than to feel its rotten saliva on you, your bones being completely shattered. that was the only end you deserved after standing by while your sister was looted. you closed your eyes and waited to be devoured.

a second passed, and before the second could turn into a third, you heard the twang of a bowstring and then the body of the walker falling a few feet away from you. your lips began to tremble as you turned around. your eyes locked onto the person who emerged from behind a tree, and you gasped. his eyes, sleepy yet always alert, reminded you of your own. his gaze was so deep that it pierced your soul, the same one that was wavering.

“you should’ve let me die,” you whispered, knowing he had taken away your chance to die with what mattered most to you. you stood up, almost collapsing because there wasn’t a part of your body that wasn’t covered in pain. “you should've let me die,” you repeated, louder this time, and the boy lowered his crossbow.

“don’t make noise,” he warned, and you gritted your teeth. he walked around you, ignoring you, and looked at your sister. he crouched down and saw what had been done to her. it wasn’t the act of a walker—walkers devoured, they didn’t loot or humiliate. “who is she?”

“my sister,” you answered with a voice that came directly from your chest.

the stranger paid attention to you, noticing your tangled hair and blood-soaked clothes. your dark circles had deepened, and there was barely any flesh left to protect your bones. you saw him clench his jaw, and you hugged yourself. for a moment, the obvious thought crossed your mind—this person could be with the other guy and kill you.

“i can take you to my refuge if you wanna loot what little i have left,” you laughed out of desperation, raising your arms as if offering yourself as well. “you can take it all if you want; i don’t care, i...”

the boy had eyes that were both blue and gray at the same time; you knew because he approached you and gave you a look that meant everything in a world where nothingness prevailed. your lips were dry, and you felt on the verge of collapse. the boy shook his head and approached the walker that had almost killed you. he pulled the arrow from its skull and reloaded his crossbow.

“i wanna help ya,” he whispered with a gentleness you would have sworn didn’t belong to him.

“why?” you asked, on the verge of breaking down in tears.

“we both lost someone important tonight, y'know.” his voice trembled as he replied, and although you knew it could go wrong, you considered the possibility that it might go right. and you knew that maybe it was the right thing when you saw the guy crouch down to pull something from the ground and place it near your sister. your heart skipped several beats when you realized that what he had left were some beautiful lilies. you wanted to cry and hug him. you wanted so many things that all you could do was smile at him, and for him, it meant everything.

now your entire life fit into a small backpack. a year ago, you dreamed of being someone and having a house to call your own. now you didn’t dream at all, and everything you had could be summed up in a gun, another shirt, and an empty plastic bottle. the last thing you ate was a can of macaroni with tomato sauce. your existence was simple, and the pain of it was a price too high to pay. your thoughts wouldn’t stop taking over your mind, and even though you wanted to avoid them, you couldn’t. you had triggered that mode that made you keep falling and falling until…

“y’alright?” that question snapped you out of the trance and sent a chill through your bones. no one had asked you that in a long time. you shook your head and regretted it instantly; yes, you were fine. it was silly to worry a stranger.

“i’m fine,” you replied, meeting his eyes. you had stopped near a stream. the water seemed clear despite everything around being rotten. you watched the stranger drink from his hands, while you stayed by the shore. “where are we going?”

the guy took another sip from the stream and looked up at the sky. his face was wet, and the water clung to his beard. something about him made you feel at peace, and you felt foolish for trusting someone so easily. part of your mind tried to excuse it by saying you felt this way because you’d just lost your sister, but it was more than that.

“we’ll stay here ‘til daylight, then i’ll take you to my group. they’ll take care of ya.” he assured you but avoided your gaze. he seemed both relaxed and nervous at the same time. you nodded and moved closer to the stream to fill your empty water bottle.

“will i have to leave after?” you asked, regretting the vulnerability in your voice. you were completely alone now, and while you could take care of yourself, fighting alone felt pointless. staying alive in this world was an idiotic act.

“i dunno.” you sensed his eyes on you, on your hair and face. only the moonlight lit you both, and only the sound of the river accompanied you. “was it just you and your sister?”

that made you think of all the people you had left behind. those who had died and those who had simply vanished. you wished they were alive and safe somewhere else, but you also wished they were dead because that would make things easier. you nodded and watched him step out of the stream. he wore a sleeveless vest with beautiful wings on it. if you had met him in another time, you knew that detail would have made you fall in love. now it just lodged in your heart.

“you said we both lost someone tonight,” you whispered, running your fingers through the water. the stranger sat on the grass and placed his crossbow to his left.

“my brother.” that coincidence was so tragic that your heart ached. you stepped out of the small river and sat beside him.

“i’m sorry for what happened…”

“you weren’t the one who killed him.” he laughed, but it wasn’t really a laugh, and you offered a sad smile.

“i watched my sister get killed, and i did nothing.” that was a cold bucket of water you poured over yourself. the stranger looked into your eyes and tilted his head. you wondered what he was thinking and if he was judging you. “we just wanted to see the stars, so we moved to a spot without trees, and…”

“ya remember anything ‘bout him?” his voice was rough, and it carried the intensity of his heart.

“he was tall, dressed all in black, and…” you searched your memory for anything that might help. there were many black spots, many things that happened too quickly. but then you remembered something important. “he had a scar in the middle of his nose.”

the guy nodded and lay down on the grass. you saw him close his eyes, and you swallowed hard. were you just going to sleep like this?

“if i find him…”

“will you kill him for me?” you interrupted with a soft laugh.

“i’ll give you the chance to do it.” those words pierced your skin.

“you don’t know me,” you said, stopping yourself from looking at him and focusing on the dark sky instead.

“well, we got time to change that.” that foolishness made you laugh along with him. time was all you had, and it had completely lost its meaning as well.

you lay down on the grass beside him, and tears started welling up in your eyes. the pain became so overwhelming that you sat up and began to breathe rapidly. your throat tightened, making it hard to breathe, and everything around you seemed to darken. the boy next to you became alert and studied you silently. you wanted to hug him and even reached your hand toward his, which was resting on the grass. however, before you could get closer, the boy grabbed his crossbow and shot a walker that was only a few meters away. you saw it fall and once again felt protected.

you placed your hand on his wrist, which caught his attention.

“what’s your name?” was all you could think to ask.

“daryl,” he replied.

“thanks, daryl.” you stood up, and he did as well.

“listen, daryl. you’re someone it’s easy to stay with, and i can’t afford to lose anyone else. i’m okay, or at least i will be. thank you for saving my life, twice… but i don’t want to be with someone and then be alone again…” you were honest, and the boy softened his gaze. he dropped his crossbow to the ground and gently ran his hand through your hair, untangling it. your eyes were red from the tears, and they burned again because of his moves. you didn’t want to feel this way, but it was the only way you could feel.

“what’s your name?” he asked, lifting your chin so you would look at him. you told him your name, even though it broke you to do so; your name was the last thing you had left from your family.

“let me stick around,” he whispered, and you recognized something in his eyes that made you take a step forward. this boy had been abandoned many times, not just physically but in other ways as well. ways you understood, even if your life might have seemed perfect to others. “you don’t gotta be alone.”

i don’t?

i remember watching this movie in high school and being SO in love with Hipatia <3 if i could erase it from my memory so i could watch it again for the first time I WOULD

Agora (2009)

Y/N: I always loved those murder mystery shows.

Daryl: I was a suspect in four murder cases. Counts, right?

Y/N: Maybe.

Y/N: Did you do it?

Daryl: Ain't a mystery if I tell ya.

Taylor Swift, august