, . , :

𝐎𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝟐𝟐𝐧𝐝 𝐨𝐟 𝐀𝐩𝐫𝐢𝐥 𝟏𝟕𝟐𝟏, 𝐀𝐧𝐧𝐞 𝐁𝐨𝐧𝐧𝐲 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐝𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐡 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐜𝐫𝐢𝐦𝐞𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐩𝐢𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐲. 𝐃𝐞𝐬𝐩𝐢𝐭𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬, 𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐟𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐢𝐬 𝐥𝐚𝐫𝐠𝐞𝐥𝐲 𝐮𝐧𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰𝐧: 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐨𝐧𝐥𝐲 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐡𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐲 𝐬𝐚𝐲𝐬 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐜𝐞𝐫𝐭𝐚𝐢𝐧 𝐢𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭

𝙰𝙽𝙽𝙴 𝙱𝙾𝙽𝙽𝚈 𝙽𝙴𝚅𝙴𝚁𝙷𝙰𝙽𝙶𝙳!

independent / slightly selective / s/low activity history & headcanon based captained by ren 21+ only, please

template by calisources

𝐁𝐔𝐋𝐋𝐄𝐓 𝐓𝐑𝐀𝐈𝐍

cursing, violence, all that good shit. feel free to adjust as you please!

you never know what horrible fate your bad luck has saved you from

thank you for taking the job on such short notice.

you are getting the new and improved me.

you put peace out in the world, you get peace back.

you don't have bad luck.

it's good luck. it's all in how you frame it.

you picked me second?

you have the strangest requests.

hey, this is nice!

it's like I got a compulsion or something.

I have to take it if I see it.

a goldfish biscuit? I mean, I don't understand it.

why didn't you tell me to bring that gun?

you're bleeding, mate.

oh shit, who the fuck did I kill?

I don't bleed.

what the fuck is wrong with you?

they're adaptable, like me.

no one likes lemons.

what's the catch? there's always a catch.

oh well, look at this! sleeping beauty!

technically, we're outside contractors.

you ever watch thomas the tank engine?

I always bring my stickers with me, you know that.

I wanna fucking strangle you right now.

why do you always bring swords?

that wasn't our fault.

you sound nervous.

you're overthinking it.

you're under-thinking it.

my job is to keep you safe.

I plan on completing my job.

the case, go get me the fucking case.

he doesn't need a reason to kill people like you; he needs a reason not to.

that's fucking confusing.

you came here to kill me.

you're going to want to hear the whole story, or you'll be very, very sorry.

three words describe our situation right now; do you know what they are?

family's more important than money, right?

let me put this bluntly: there's this soulless psychotic leader with the largest criminal organization on the planet shoved right inside our fucking ass cheeks.

if you mention that one more time I'm going to shoot you in the fucking face.

he asked for pros who wouldn't fuck up.

what do you want?

I'm not in someone else's story, you're all in mine.

deny it all you want, but you work for someone who works for someone else, et cetera et cetera.

I don't know what you think I can do for you.

you're going to kill him for me.

you look so tense.

that sounds dark as shit.

nut up or shut up, bro.

right, so: slight change of plans.

you stabbed me?!

I came here for revenge.

can we just take a time-out here?

I will ruin your life the way you ruined mine.

you are fuckin' excused.

it sounds so easy when you say it.

I'm really good with faces.

we have to have a hard discussion about the caliber of people we're surrounding ourselves with.

why are we whispering?

this rude enough for you, you fucking prick?

shove that hat up your asshole, you hear me?

there's a gun underneath this table pointed right at you.

I' can't really hear what you're saying.

I'm just fucking with you, mate.

who the fuck are you?

you look like every white homeless man I've ever seen.

you shot me. you shot me twice.

I shoot a lot of people.

you also have a shootable face.

I've forgiven, I've moved on.

I've always been lucky.

every day is a fucking headache with you, innit?

what's your plan here?

I'd like to accept your offer.

simple is better.

I ain't got the time or the patience, let alone the interest.

are you following me?

eat a bag of dicks!

I'm not a diesel, you're a diesel.

jesus christ, you had a bit of a bosh.

would you describe me as someone who lives in perpetual anxiety?

wanna make an easy two hundred bucks?

is this like, a sex thing?

all right, game's up.

the innocent young girl act really doesn't get you very far if you're holding a gun.

I wanted to handle it myself.

you can't control what fate has in store for us.

we're not finished.

this is a complete waste of my time.

unlike you, I'm a professional.

get the fuck off my back, will ya?

we need to deal with that twat right fucking now.

be careful, something else is going on here.

I'm never wrong.

you shoot first, come up with the answers later.

you be careful.

we need boundaries.

I knew my luck would rub off on you.

if the gun doesn't kill him, the case will.

I brought you here to fail.

it's a stupid plan.

it's a brilliant plan.

whatever deal was made, it wasn't done with the normal channels.

there's something else going on here.

did you just say whack?

you're really proud of yourself, aren't you?

you sure you don't want to talk this out?

for what it's worth, you seem like a right fucking asshole and I'm glad you're going to fucking die with me.

why did you even bother trying?

I don't think they were in the market for fucking dildos and pantyhose.

I'll do what you want.

you don't know anything about life or how hard it is.

I haven't seen anything like that, I think I'd remember.

I still need a fall guy.

you got a better idea, do you?

I'm finding it very hard to follow this story.

I'm sorry, I get captivated by white girl tears.

I'm really good at reading people and something tells me that you are just not fucking right.

am I dreaming?

I don't know how to shoot a gun.

you are really good, you sure you didn't study?

how do you do that? it's really unbelievable!

I'm glad you enjoyed the performance.

take that, punk!

you bitch!

you gotta be better prepared!

I'm mansplaining again.

you don't seem like a religious person.

you want me to hold your hand?

are you lying on the ground in the fetal position?

how do you always know what I'm doing?

get off your fucking lazy ass and come here and finish the job yourself.

I want to look into your eyes when I kill you.

I'm so happy to see you.

please help me!

I'm sorry darling, I don't know who the fuck you are.

a pretty girl makes a good hostage.

keep your fucking knickers on.

there's been a diesel causing all sorts of fucking havoc.

it was you the whole fucking time!

what the fuck are you doing?

he said he was going to kill you and blame everything on you.

no one's going to hurt you.

we've got to go, right now!

I don't want to be alone, please!

it's not your fault.

you've got your whole life ahead of you.

make sure you do something that brings you peace.

you're not going to let me get hurt? be honest.

you're creeping me out.

I have survived much more and much worse than you.

I'll fucking kill him myself!

her intentions with you were not honorable.

a blind man could see you were the one in the dark.

I did not need to do anything; fate will do what it wills.

fate for me is just another word for bad luck.

I returned home and found nothing except ash and blood.

he had taken everything from me.

I went into hiding and I looked for a way to strike him out without endangering what I had left.

I did not think fate would ever give me the chance to make things right.

everything that's ever happened to you has lead you here.

that's a shit deal.

am I in hell?

where the fuck is my brother?

I'll shoot you in the fucking throat next time!

I'm fast to kick your ass, I swear to god!

we prepare together or we die alone.

if fate wills, I will get my revenge.

I'll get is the fuck out of here.

what are you going to do?

I'm going to buy us some time.

I came to see you and to make you finally see me.

I built myself up from the nothing you gave me.

I was the one who deserved your attention. your love.

you have never been part of my plan.

I got a bad feeling about this.

why does it always gotta be us to do this shit?

why do you do what you do?

nothing in life is an accident.

I will always come for you.

if you do not control your fate, it will control you.

why are you here?

I do not know why you are here, but move out of my way.

I'm sorry I shot you twice.

you are not ruled by strength, you are ruled by fear.

just let it go, bro!

what is with this fucked-up family?

you need some suggested reading, if I may.

was that karma?

did you come to rescue me?

did you need rescuing?

what's happening to your face? are you crying?

do you think maybe there was a little head trauma?

I think you were right about one thing.

maybe you've learned something after all.

take a fucking bow!

A fourmaster from Norway in stormy weather, by Gerhard Geidel (1925-2011)

Here but mobile and no idea who I owe what to.

So!

hit the heart for a mobile starter

dm me your meme tag

send me your fave emoji for a mobile starter

send me “sailing for adventure” for a mobile starter in an au!

anonymously send me a reason we don’t interact so i can correct that lol

or maybe let’s play a game! (truth or dare, fmk, imitate Anne or someone she knows [poorly] and she’ll guess who it is, anonymously describe your muse and ask a question [would you date me, would you take me on your crew, would you win in a fight against me, etc.])

critiques of writing always welcome

Update: won’t let me post for memes, but they’re here: https://neverhangd.tumblr.com/tagged/✗%20meme

"Why does it always gotta be us to do this shit?"

Anne snorted incredulously, flicking her sweat-sticky hair off her face with a hard toss of her head. It fans out curtain-like, a red slash preceding those sea glass eyes, hard and cutting and only slightly softened with amusement.

“Doesn’t have t’be ‘us.’ Started as just me, ye glory-stealin cunt, and I’m fine endin it that way too. —Sides, en’t like the rest a’ these daft, lazy fuckers know their letters. Sail us right t’fuckin India left t’their own.”

Israel “Izzy” Hands + smiling