Average Wagner Main (aka Me)

Average wagner main (aka me)

Understandable.

I'm having a uni character crisis rn but Wagner's one I'm very much considering, likely if the risk of breaking my hands by playing Seth becomes too big.

i cant wait until after like 3 weeks of nothing you just unload 20 posts on us

Yuuuup. You already know.

Might extend an extra day or two, though, writing some of these are harder than anticipated.

Heyyy. It's that dumb idiot again with another crossover idea that's cringey as all hell. In all seriousness though,I was curious about you making some solid head cannons per usual with them involving Orie and S.E.E.S this time around. Orie actually has quite a bit in common with a few members of the group considering her personality is somewhat reminiscent of a few member with Mitsuru being the most obvious,being a kid who lost her parents to dark forces,and even a whole Persona-like power in the form of her Thanatos(It literally hit me that it was the name after 5 years btw haha). I'll admit I'm not too in-depth on P3 or even UNI for that matter,but I'm sure someone with solid expertise can take this concept and run with it better than I ever could. Hope you're doing okay by the way and happy belated birthday,Nova.

Big man, requests have been closed for a while, sorry to say. I might POTENTIALLY come back to this prompt one of these days but this is kinda too vague for me.

REQUESTS CLOSED

So I'm like half an hour late to announce this but it has now hit 10 p.m MST. Requests are now officially closed once more.

I have gotten noticeably more requests than anticipated, thank you all for that. I will get to writing as soon as possible and have all of them out on my birthday. Please be patient until then. Maybe if I go fast enough a normal request or two will be done as I'm doing them. Once the event requests are posted I'll get to emptying out the rest of my inbox and requests will finally open once again.

Blah blah blah, fuck this post (not this one though), happy birthday Kokonoe or whatever they say these days.

Have some Kawaii Kokonoe. Credit to original artist.

KOKONOE

i .. ii .. iii circa 2198 for @nkn0va, anonymous

I.

Dating Kokonoe isn’t going to be the most traditional relationship. Her work will always be her first priority and she definitely isn’t looking to make friends. Whether you meet her outside the lab on one of her rare outings or through some dealings with Sector Seven, you’ll have to come to her to be a part of her life. That doesn’t necessitate working for Sector Seven, but if you want to see your girlfriend in the flesh on a remotely regular basis, it helps.

For her part, Kokonoe doesn’t care who you work for and she doesn’t care how much she sees you- at least, she’s damn good at pretending she doesn’t care about it.

She’d be fine with a long distance relationship carried out through calls and video chats. Hell, maybe you could start taking care of a few little ‘errands’ for her. Make yourself useful!

But honestly, Kokonoe is just… awful at intimacy. She’s not good at letting people in or sustaining her relationships. She can say it doesn’t matter as much as she likes, but the truth is, it’s much easier to hold onto your relationship if you stick close to her. A relationship that starts long distance likely won’t last, as she’s just too good at letting people slip away.

II.

To build the foundation of your relationship, you have to be near enough to her that you can worm your way past her defenses. The initiative will be on you. If she’s particularly attracted to you, she may engage in some flirting- lots of bullying, some filthy smug comments- but she’s not looking to have that go anywhere. She’s lived a lonely life, and has gotten to the point where the idea of any long-term relationships seem to go entirely over her head. She sees herself as someone who exists alone. She can’t conceptualize anyone sticking by her, let alone a lover.

Once you’re deep enough under her skin, she’s lifelong loyal and no number of months away can change that- but in the early stages, absence or hesitation risk losing her.

III.

Definitely not a mushy-gushy, sappy, cute little petnames or heart-shaped pancakes kind of lover. This is the kind of girlfriend who loves to give you shit. She does have petnames for you- a lot of them, actually- but they're all... well... let's call them 'lovingly derogatory.'

Kokonoe lacks social maturity. Her style of flirting looks a lot like that of a late-elementary or early-middleschooler's. A classic case of pigtail-pulling. The more she likes you, the more she wants to play with you, and she plays by bullying.

The second you enter the room, she gets much more talkative, and zeros in on you as her victim. Her assistants love you for taking the heat off of them the moment you appear.

She'll have some snappy remark to counter everything you say, standing up from her desk and grinning the whole time she's 'complaining' about how needy you are, coming down here all the time JUST to 'bother' her. She'll be heckling other staff members, telling them to pay attention, because you serve as proof that romance isn't worth the trouble.

"Don't let that cute face fool you! Let me tell you guys, managing my own personal idiot isn't as easy as it looks!"

IV.

You may need to take a quick course in speaking 'tsundere' to understand her banter, but it's evident by the look on her face how happy she is any time you visit her. It's not unusual for others close to her, such as Tager, to call you up and request that you stop by to force her to take a break. If you haven't visited in a little while, your presence can prevent her from even looking at her monitors until you leave. Eventually she'll start catching on that you're conspiring to slow her down, but she has to admit- a little fifteen minute break for some eye candy is probably good for her health.

Your playful banter is good stress relief for her. She's much calmer with you around, too- though those who can't read her may not realize that, given the way she goes at you like a cat that's just spotted a mouse. Your relationship keeps her grounded. It's a tether to what's left of her humanity.

V.

You’re not gonna be going on a lot of dates. She doesn’t see the point, when she has work to do and you could just hang out with her in the lab. If you wanna go see a movie that damn bad, go on your own, she won’t stop you! It’s hard for her to understand that your motivation isn’t the activity itself, but the time spent with her.

In that case…. Fine, sit your ass down and give her five minutes to finish reviewing these numbers… no, actually, go get some snacks! Two extra large buckets of popcorn because she won’t be sharing, and as many boxes of candy as you can carry!! You can put the stupid movie up on one of the projectors and she’ll work on drafting some schematics while you watch.

(PS- She will be sharing, if sharing means stealing your popcorn more than eating her own. She thinks stealing food is cute as long as she's the one doing it.)

VI.

It’s common knowledge that she likes video games, and she’s intensely competitive. If you play any, she’ll be interested in trying them out. She likes arcade shooters a lot, and anything that’ll keep track of her scores. Her goal is always to find a way to break the game by maxing out the score counter. Little miss “dating is for idiots” is constantly sending you screenshots of her latest score- or calling you over just to make you look at it with that big smug look on her face. It’s adorable, she can be just like a bratty kid despite how above-everything she likes to act.

She’ll try any genre of game you play, whether or not you invite her too. And somehow, someway, she’ll turn it into a competition. Doesn’t matter if all you play is Animal Crossing. She’ll pick on you for playing a “mindless baby game,” then get herself a copy and start racing to find all the collectables and fill up your museum before you can. Your girlfriend is a brat.

VII.

Kokonoe is much stronger than she looks. Her insane genetics save her from the severe neglect she's constantly subjecting her body to. She’s weak for a beastkin, especially of her lineage, but still much stronger than a normal human. Regardless of your size, she could probably lift you off your feet in a tight hug. Which looks hilarious, the bigger you are- she’s such a not bigger than 5 feet and rarely takes care of herself enough to break 100lbs.

That said, she absolutely hates any kind of physical exertion. She doesn’t want you thinking she’s frail- don’t you baby her- but she will overplay the idea that she’s a shut-in so asking her to go anywhere without a chair waiting for her is a form of abuse. Asking her to get up and walk across the room to pick something up herself? Neglect! And if you’re working for Sector Seven, insubordination! Hell, treason, even! You want her to write up a report for the Committee?!

No? Didn't think so. Now go fetch, her chips are on that counter over there.

VIII.

She wouldn’t want to make it too obvious, but she absolutely loves it if you’re strong enough to lift her. She likes being carried around piggyback-style. She just might be a little touch starved, and there are a surprising amount of ‘cutesy couple things’ she does kind of want to try… she just can’t do it in any honest fashion.

Trying to force you to carry her around is her solution. She gets to ask you for physical affection and play, all behind a mask of evil bullying. She’ll make her little jokes about you being her pack mule or noble steed, claiming this is a much more efficient way for her to get around- it conserves energy for her very important genius scientist brain and it’s just flat out funnier than her using her scooter. She seems to have even more fun with it if carrying her is difficult for you. She’s a bit of a sadist, what else is there to say?

If you think you can readily lift her usual 90-some pounds (or if you put in the work to get to that point) you can turn this around on her. She loves her piggyback rides, but carrying her bridal-style kills her. She’ll pitch a whole fit, screaming and making threats and blushing so bad she might overheat that very important genius brain of hers.

Just learn to keep an eye on her mood and her limits for when it's time to put her down… She’ll give you plenty of (loud) warnings, but if push comes to shove, she's more than willing to scratch you.

what if susan was delivery man?

I feel like his appearance would make for very piss poor service lmao. Also the whole hatred for humanity thing but that's neither here nor there.