Jazz Talks To A Sleeping Sparkling!Optimus After A Long Day:

Jazz talks to a sleeping sparkling!Optimus after a long day:

Jazz stroked over Optimus’s helm.

“Sometimes, little bit, ya get too attached to ya pain.  It shaped ya - and ya start to let it define ya.  We did impossible things and carried impossible burdens.  It’s hard to set those things down and just be normal.  ‘Specially ‘round the neutrals.  We ain’t better.  They ain’t better.  But sometimes it feels like we are, like we deserve it more because we sacrificed more.  Makes some bots angry ta see the neutrals happy - because they haven’t earned it - or sad - because they don’t deserve to be sad when they didn’t go through what we did.”

“We want ta be happy in this new peace ‘a ours.  Want ta be happy ‘n normal.  But we know in our sparks tha’ we’re different an’ pretendin’ we ain’t feels like lying.  Or like we’re tryin’ ta forget the war and we can’t do that.  ‘m not sure what I think ‘bout it all.  I jus’ wanna see ya happy, bitlet.  Love ya.” 

Just in case anyone is wondering how my writing is going, here was today’s intended goals:

Secret Baby - 5,000 words

Virgin Widow - finish

What actually happened was:

Start Secret Baby, remember something I wanted to add onto Happy Endings.  While doing that remember that Halloween fic I’ve been chipping away at and track that down because I didn’t put it in it’s own word file and forgot which one it’s in.  Find it in Warring Houses.  Remember something I wanted to add to that fic.  Remember to put Halloween fic in it’s own file and get distracted by that for a few hundred words.  Go back to Warring Houses.  Inexplicably start plotting Optimus philosophical/horror fic (with happy ending).  Get distracted making chocolate dipped strawberries.

Hopefully the sugar rush (because I can’t abuse caffeine anymore) will help.

Excerpt from today’s clusterfluff: Virgin Widow

Jazz moved onto the next piece in the pile that needed fixing.  On a ship it never ended.  He scooped more grease onto his cloth.

He hadn’t expected to ever bond.  Most bots would see him and run the other way.  It was just that…

Jazz wanted to throw the can across the room.  He wanted to take the wheel and twist it in his servos until it was warped and distorted.

He set everything gently back into place.

He’d known it wasn’t a love match.  He’d just thought that the other mech might have been in the same situation as Jazz. If neither of them had a choice, if they were both being forced into this, then they couldn’t really hate each other.  He’d thought that they could at least try to make each other happy. 

He had wanted to try.

Jazz vented slowly and lifted the next part on the list to be fixed.

He was the Captain. He had led his crew through pirate attacks, gravity wells, and foreign customs.  Sometimes, even in space, the only direction was forward.

Fluffy Baby Nonsense

Working on the Virgin Widow tile for Fluff Bingo (21 tiles attempted, 13 completed) and thinking about the tropes on it.  I’ve been twisting them how I like, but I still understand the appeal of them in their original state. 

Widows occupied an interesting place in western literature.  The Virgin Widow trope means you get all the benefits of being a widow - financially stable, less likely to induce a scandal, sexually available - without the character having actually experienced married life or love.  While there is obviously a lot of unfortunate implications with it, especially in regards to women throughout history and purity culture, I do understand the appeal.  The contrast of independence/vulnerability.  The angst or humor of the secret being drawn out.  The plot where the hero/heroine endures a terrible marriage and is finally free and gets to explore intimacy as part of a healthy relationship.

It would be a fun one to play with in a modern setting.

It’s been a long week.  I think it’s time I posted some updates!

The quick 1,500 word idea that grew is now 6,466 words and growing.  It’s like James and the Giant Peach, we’re all gonna be able to hollow it out and live in it soon.