
she/her 20yromdni!!!!!!!!!!!!
68 posts
Nnnniei3 - Hanna - Tumblr Blog
Alot of times, I actually don't want to read smutđ show me how they fell for each other. Show me their first meetings, when they met each other and couldn't ever believe they'd love each other so much.
Show me the 'before everything'. I eat that shit upđđđđ I want to know their first impressions of each other, I want to know who wanted who, first, i want to know who confessed, I want to know who courted the otherđđ
Some smut dribbled over the end would be nice, but sometimes, I really want more than just sexđ
mha was supposed to go on forever I wanna see deku and bakugou in the retirement home balding and racing each other with their walkers
5 chapters left and Izuku still thinks that he canât be a hero without a quirk⌠where am IâŚ

MY HOE BAD AS HELL, ASH KASH










â 彥 EXPLOSIVE HEARTS 彥â
pairing: katsuki bakugou x fem!reader
sypnosis: upon losing feelings for your boyfriend monoma, you start developing a new attraction towards the football team's quarterback. the only problem is, you two have never met. but that's where your bestest friends come in.
five | series m.list | seven
SIX. good idea

NOVEMBER 30TH
9:23 PM
you immediately get accustomed to the loud blare of the music in your ear and the reek of alcohol and sex within the house. your friends, with the exception of shinsou, briefly scrunched their faces up in disgust at the change of atmosphere upon entering the house.
you were used to parties like this by now. monoma would always drag you and shinsou to frat parties back in high school despite you voicing your distaste for them. but eventually, you took a liking to them. you found them to be an escape from most of your problems.
before you and shinsou could make a beeline for the kitchen, midoriya warned you both about the amount of alcohol you planned on consuming that night. you assured him that you two wouldnât drink too much, which midoriya knew was a lie, but sent you two off nonetheless.
as soon as you made it to the kitchen, you started looking through the alcohol already sat on the counter. you picked up two beers, handing one to shinsou. you sighed before opening the can and leaning against the counter beside shinsou, taking a sip of your drink.
âyâknow i used to hate frat parties when neito- i mean monoma always took us to them,â you said, looking out into the crowd of people.
shinsou glanced at you before following your gaze, taking a sip of his drink as well. âyeah, you never wanted to go. i didnât mind them all that much, though.â
âyeah, âcause you liked getting wasted,â you chuckled, poking your best friendâs rib.
shinsou swatted your hand away, playfully rolling his eyes before retorting, âoh, please. you were worse than me.â
from afar, bakugou watched you two conversate with furrowed eyebrows. truth be told, bakugouâs real reason for coming to the party was the idea that you would probably be there, which kirishima brought up. he wanted to talk to you, get to know you. and there you were, except you were talking to shinsou and not him.
kaminari noticed bakugou staring at you and shinsou, a smirk making itâs way onto his face. he walked up to bakugou, throwing his arm around his shoulders and watching you and shinsou as well.
âwhy donât you go talk to her, man?â kaminari questioned, causing bakugou to shove the blondâs arm off of him.
âwhat the fuck are you talking about?â bakugou grumbled, turning away so that he was no longer facing you.
âyâknow what iâm talking about,â kaminari deadpanned. âjust admit it, you want her so bad.â
bakugou rolled his eyes. how could he want you? he doesnât even know you. yet he feels so weird when he sees you with shinsou. almost as if he was jealous.
âhah? jealous? as fucking if,â bakugou mumbled to himself, seemingly battling with his thoughts.
âaw, look! sheâs getting away,â kaminari said, pointing at you and shinsou walking away. âbetter go find her before i get to her first.â
âoh, fuck off,â bakugou said as he watched you and shinsou walk out of the back door. bakugou grabbed his unopened can of beer before taking one look at his friends and walking off to look for you.
as soon as he stepped outside, he sighed. he didnât realize how humid it was in the house until he inhaled the fresh air of the backyard. he scanned the people outside as he opened his drink. there were people conversing, some were basking in the fresh air, and others were smoking.
bakugou started scanning the backyard for you, but he spotted shinsou first. the purple-haired male was talking to a few of the baseball players, you nowhere to be found. he took a sip of his beer before looking around for you again, and soon enough he found you.
you were sitting in a chair while scrolling through your phone and drinking from a red solo cup. as bakugou started to approach you, he saw midoriya suddenly walking up to you. he groaned, pinching the bridge of his nose.
âhey, y/n,â midoriya said, approaching you with a bottle of water in his hand.
âhey, âzuku,â you grinned, taking a sip of your new drink.
âhow much did you drink?â the green-haired boy asked.
âthis is my second drink,â you replied, sloshing it around for emphasis.
midoriya handed you the water bottle in which you accepted it, smiling gratefully at him.
âdrink water throughout the night. donât want you getting too wasted,â midoriya said, taking a seat next to you.
âthanks, izuku,â you chuckled before shinsou approached you both with an eyebrow raised.
âso, none of you noticed bakugou standing there and staring at you creepily?â shinsou said, tilting his head to the side briefly to point the ash-blond out.
you turned to the direction that shinsou tilted his head towards and immediately locked eyes with bakugou. you felt your face heat up as you held eye contact with him before he looked away. you then looked at your cup before downing the rest of your drink and standing up.
âiâm gonna go talk toââ
âheâs leaving,â shinsou interrupted.
âwhaââ you turned to look at bakugou once again only to find him walking back into the house.
you frowned as midoriya stood up to pat your back. âyouâll get âem next time.â
âiâm gonna need more alcohol in my system for this,â you said before walking away to enter the house. shinsou and midoriya looked at each other with amused expressions before following behind you.
you walked up to a random table before grabbing a cup and pouring whatever drink you could find in it. you took a large gulp before pausing and downing the rest. midoriya looked at you with a concerned expression on his face before shoving the water bottle you forgot outside in your face.
you grabbed the water bottle and opened it, drinking it feverishly. shinsou tapped you on the shoulder before pointing at bakugou who was leaning against a wall. âheâs right there.â you nodded before finishing the water and leaving the empty bottle on the table.
âwish me luck, guys,â you said, looking at your two friends.
they gave you a thumbs up and you smiled before turning around to walk towards bakugou. as you were approaching him, you noticed he was looking at his feet, seemingly lost in thought. you brushed it off as you reached him, leaning against the wall next to him.
âhey,â you smiled softly.
he turned to look at you, his eyes widening a bit before going back to normal. he definitely wasnât expecting you to be next to him. he looked forward, taking a sip of his drink.
âhey,â bakugou replied.
âuhhh, thanks for the money. even though you totally didnât have to give it to me. i donât want to seem stingy or anything yââ you started rambling before bakugou cut you off.
âitâs fine, dumbass. i gave it to ya because i wanted to,â bakugou said, glancing at you.
âyou sure?â you asked tilting your head to the side.
âmention the money again and i might take that shit back from you,â bakugou said, looking at you with an unamused face.
ânoted,â you said, doing a zipping motion against your lips.
it then went silent between you two but you couldnât tell if it was awkward or comfortable. you didnât know what to say and you werenât sure if bakugou wanted you in his presence either.
âlet me get your number,â bakugou said, breaking the silence.
you looked at him with a confused expression on your face, trying to register what he just said. he stared back you, slowly starting to doubt his choice of words the longer you didnât answer.
âsure!â you finally smiled, holding your hand out for his phone. he mentally sighed in relief, pulling his phone out of his pocket.
he handed it to you and you typed your number out, saving your contact as âl/n :Pâ. you wanted to save it as your first name but you knew you two werenât on that level yet.
as you were handing his phone back to him, kirishima walked up to you both with a nervous look on his face, knowing he was interrupting you two.
kirishima waved at you and you happily waved back before the redhead started talking. âuh, kats.â
âwhat the fuck happened now?â bakugou grunted, knowing that at least one of his friends did something dumb. it happens everytime they go to a party.
âkaminari got a bit too drunk and heâs crying about a romance movie he watched two years ago,â kirishima said, rubbing the back of his neck. âi think we should start heading back to the dorms.â
âwhy the hell is that my problem?â bakugou questioned, rolling his eyes.
âbakugou,â you started, the said male quickly turning to look at you. âitâs getting late, go take your poor friend back to his dorm,â you chuckled.
bakugou groaned, dragging his hand down his face before looking towards kirishima then back to you. âfine.â
before the two left, you bid your goodbyes and reminded bakugou to text you. you watched them walk away with a big smile on your face and as soon as they disappeared from your vision, you squealed loudly.
âi knew coming to this party was a good idea,â you sighed happily.

tag list: @chrofeisnightmaregf @spiderlily-w1tch-blog @blamemef0rit @iridescentrays @archer-fb @bakugouswh0r3 @singingcherri6 @parker-webs @polarbvnny @lupinandout @thebestrouge @blubearxy @itgetzweird08 @bakunianadecorazon @poemzcheng @nottherealslimshady @nnnniei3 @themultifandomgirl @123150448 @kara062284-blog @jazzypop--qq @neoclb @hellokittyfeenie @iheartamora @morganadorodo @k1tk4tkatsuki @d34ly @heyits-zedo @iwa-chan-akaashi-san @first-time-fanfic-writer @corvid007 @spooky-cupid @enzstr @centerhabit @xdyledz @aliisinwonderland @kovu-bunnbunn @bakutreats @perrywinklefairy @oneiratxxia10 @vitanicheney666 @itsdragonius @penesauce @sixxze

Š ickyblickyy 2024 please do not steal, copy, or repost my work onto other platforms.
the first time toge meets you, he turns to his friends and signs just to them. Hand open, he rolls his fingers across the front of his face and closes his hand in front of his chin, tracing an oval around his face. Every now and again, he repeats it, turning to Yuuta with a firm, serious face as he does the motion. He signs it as if it's the most serious thing he's ever had to say.
"What did Inumaki say about me?" you ask later, far out of earshot of the man in question. "Was it bad?"
"What?" Yuuta crinkles his nose in delight as he repeats the motion, "You mean this sign?"
"Yeah."
Yuuta laughs. "It means beautiful. He thinks you're very pretty."

I fuckin get it girl
I donât wanna be that bitch but Katsuki isnât a bland, one sided character. Heâs aggressive with a mean attitude and extremely competitive. Heâs still a person though.
Basically, when writing katsuki you donât have to make him an asshole 24/7.. you can mix things up. Give him the signs of maturity, let him mellow a little, show the side of katsuki that is tired and grumpy and affectionate.
Example :
One dimensional katsukiâs reaction to a SO hugging him from behind in the morning : growls, âget the fuck off me shithead, die!â , yanks away and walks off with an eye roll.
Multi-dimensional dazzle dazzle katsuki reaction to a SO hugging him from behind in the morning : grunt, then : âyeah yea, morning shithead. Get offâa me, got Shit to do.â Pulls away a bit, ruffles SO hair / smooch to top of head, walks off with an eye roll.
This isnât how youâd write it like, Yunno, in the fanfiction⌠but it makes a difference. Sometimes I get comments on my work where katsuki shows more emotion cause heâs an angry gremlin. Remember, most angry little fuckheads experience a wide range of intense emotions.
Thank you for coming to my PSA!
P.S. this is signed with a forehead smooch to katsuki, right in the middle. My glitter gloss is making some of his hair stick to his forehead. Woops.
thinking very much about please please please by sabrina carpenter but you make it katsuki x singer!y/n, sheâs incredibly renowned and loved by many all over the world. then the news breaks that theyâre hanging out a lot (i.e. paparazzi pics of them holding hands while out and about and him next to her at her birthday party) and the rumors that theyâre dating spread like wildfire, but itâs never confirmed by them directly since they dodge interview questions like the pros they are. and to her fans it makes no sense that sheâd be with himâ sheâs japanâs sweetheart and heâs known for being brash and honest to a fault. his fans are happy, glad someone finally sees what theyâd been going on about in regards to him being secretly nice and very obviously hot. thereâs tiktoks, insta posts, entire blogs written about how clouded her judgement is and how heâll never treat her right and then she releases please please please and shamelessly casts him in her mv as the eye candy (sabrina and barry keoghan) and the world goes ballistic again. should be working on part 3 of midnights, but please actually tell me to write this and i will.


Watching JJK is the worst because the hotter they are the more likely they will die.
when katsuki uses his mask as a headbandâŚ


crazy how fanfic authors drop the most beautiful and gorgeous pieces of work ever, leaving you speechless and sobbing at three in the morning as you quietly contemplate the masterpiece you just read
and they donât get paid for it they just do it because theyâre having fun and they want to share their joy with you
like I would literally die for all of you fanfic authors out there reblog to swear your allegiance to fanfic authors

if art can be touched, will you let me hold you? | nanami kento

wc:Â 7.2k
summary: ââyou press love into each piece of art you create, and nanami wonders if youâve ever been loved that way.
contains: f!reader, non-curse!au, ceramic artist!reader, pov switching, slowburn, reader wears a skirt, food mentions, bad breakup (mentioned), mentions of art critiques, almost explicit sex, itâs love without words.
a/n: a concept and fic i didnât expect would be so dear to me; there are some very small personal touches in this but the main inspiration for this is âweâve been loving in silenceâ, but some bgm are âcanât take my eyes off youâ, and âmake you feel my loveâ.
ao3 (needs account)
MINORS DO NOT INTERACT.
part of the in's and out's new year/birthday event | request prompt: showing âi love youâ in all the ways you arenât used to

CLAY. Take your material of choice; turn it over, get a feel of it. Is it a suitable medium for your art?
You first meet Nanami in the halls of an echoing applause.Â
The hostâs spiel is muffled through the walls, but you know the program flow like the back of your handâyouâve rehearsed your entrance every single day since being invited to announce your upcoming exhibit. In just a few minutes, your name will be called.Â
Yellow cue cards slip through your fingers, scattering to the floor as a result of the haste from your last minute touch-up just moments before.
âShit,â you curse under your breath, checking the time.Â
As you crouch low, a pair of brown Derby shoes land in front of youâlong and thick fingers reaching for your cue cards on the floor. The time on his wrist matches yours, each second highlighted in the stark contrast of a dark face and silver exterior.Â
Youâre quick to receive his help, taking the cards into your hands as you lightly graze his fingertips. When you look up, youâre met with sharp linesâan angular jaw, eyebrows set straight; a pointed nose and his cheeks carving out hollow shadows.
A geometric study on blank canvas.Â
Itâs embarrassing, the way you fluster and bow, thanking him with a stutter as youâre brought back to the urgency of the matter by the sound of your name being called out.Â
The rush to the conference hall has you breathing heavily, the nerves hitting you full force as you step up the stage, nearly tripping at the last step. Hues of blue, yellow, purple, and green lights glare at you, and when the host hands you the microphone, you chuckle nervously, clearing your throat before addressing everyone in the room to thank them for coming this afternoon.
Your exhibit is called âWhat is the Face of an (Un)Touched Soul?ââa collection of ceramic sculptures molded to the realism of a human face, with the soul imagined as varying patterns and colors that fit each featured individual.Â
Itâs been half a year since you started, with three out of six sculptures completed already. Two are in-progress, and you have yet to find a subject for one more; there are six more months for you to complete everything.
The audience sounds their applause, sophisticated claps and nods a familiar tune in the many years of your sculpting career. Critics in the room jot down their thoughts, reporters holding up microphones and recording devices to cover your announcement.Â
You smile wide, the rehearsed kind.Â
And at the end of your presentation, stepping down the stage, you spot him again.Â
You think to approach him in that moment, to thank him properly instead of the fumbling mess youâd choked out in the hallwayâbut youâre pulled towards a crowd of reporters and critics, recording devices pushed just below your chin as you watch him disappear into a sea of faces not nearly as interesting as his.Â
.
You meet Nanami again in the bustling morning rush at the bakery near your studio.Â
The past few weeks have been head-down and tedious, late nights working on painting some of the last few pieces for your exhibit. One of them is of your niece, 5-years-old in mint and white innocence; your brushstrokes are featherlight, softly accentuated by sponge dabsâa slate barely filled in, with room for more colors to appear with time.Â
Another is of your neighbor, an old man whose eyes have seen war beyond your comprehensionâa retired soldier, a veteran of the military force. He plants primroses by his windowsill, the pastel yellow a stark contrast to the life heâs lived in red; neither of the colors cancel each other out, neither of them blend. You drag harsh strokes against his jawbone while smoothly gliding watercolor across his eyelids.Â
The people in your sculptures have sparked an untapped curiosity within youâfor stories, for lives, for souls and what those might look like.Â
You bump into Nanami on his way out, the sandwich in his hand falling to the ground as you frantically attempt to pick it up.
âOh my god, Iâm so sorry.â you turn over the sandwich, checking for any holes or openings in its packaging, âLet meââ
It only registers that itâs him when you notice the same brown Derby shoes, the same watch with that dark face and silver exterior, the same geometric perfection on his face when you look up and finally come eye-to-eye with that same fixed stare.Â
You clear your throat. Well, this is embarrassing.Â
âLet me buy you another sandwich.â
He doesnât exactly look angry, expression set in straight lines, but you canât tell for sureâthere isnât much you can go by.
âThereâs no need,â he dusts off the wrapper, âitâs still sealed.âÂ
âPlease, I insist,â you pat down your skirt, linen rough on your fingertips, âAs a thank you too, for last time.âÂ
He arches a brow, and for a moment you worry that youâve remembered him wrongâhoney blonde hair and features youâve been intrigued by since.Â
âYou insist.â he repeats, clarifying more than questioning.Â
You nod.Â
He sighs, checking his watch before pocketing his sandwich and turning back to open the bakery doors.Â
The silence in line to the counter is awkward. Nanami remains impassive, hand tucked inside his pocketâyou canât read a single thing about him.
âI was meaning to thank you after the exhibit announcement,â you start, turning slightly to face him before looking ahead again.Â
He hums.Â
âBut I couldnât find you, soâŚâÂ
He hums again.Â
The lack of response makes you nervous and quite honestly a bit irritated. Here you are, trying to be nice, and all youâre met with are dryâ
âItâs no problem, but thatâs thoughtful of you, thank you.â he finally says, âI didnât expect you to remember.âÂ
A pause.Â
âIâm sure you meet a lot of faces in your line of work.â he further clarifies, in case his earlier remark had offended you.Â
You snort, âI wish.âÂ
The line moves forward.
âCeramic faces, maybe. People not so much.âÂ
When you glance at Nanami, the look he returns is still characteristically inscrutable, but you think the corners of his eyes soften just a bitâto feel for you maybe, you hope, you think.Â
The line moves quickly after that, and next thing you know it, youâre by the cashier, pointing at one sandwich for you and another for him. You buy him a cup of coffee too, just as an extra kind gesture (âfor his time; youâre sure he has places to be and people to see), but he stops you.Â
âCoffeeâs on me.â he pulls out his card.Â
âOh,â you look up, surprised, âyou donât have to do thatââ
âItâs only fair,â he nods as the cashier punches in the order, ânow weâre even.âÂ
You attempt to rebut, but find no room for argument in the unbending weight of his gaze.Â
An interesting man.Â
You watch him stand by the claiming booth, hand in the pocket of his khaki suit. Nothing about him feels cohesive, yet he makes it work. Artistically, from a sculpting standpoint, the sharp lines on his face would be an interesting challengeâbut beautiful, nonetheless. A study of near-perfection, you think.Â
And it would seem obvious, that from the rigid cut of his jaw and the sharp edges of his cheekbones that heâd act just as pointed.Â
Except, he doesnâtâa stark contrast to how much of a gentleman he seems to be.Â
His blue shirt stands out when youâd assume he prefers subtlety, and itâs ridiculous, but that yellow cow print tie feels simultaneously out of place but so fitting.Â
He walks toward you with your coffee, sandwich resting on his forearm.
âThank you, Mr.ââ you smile sheepishly, âSorry, I donât think I got your name.âÂ
âNanami Kento.â the corners of his lips lift slightly.Â
âMr. Nanami,â you repeat, introducing yourself right after.
âThank you as well.â he adds on as you both walk towards the doors.Â
Something tells you this is a missed opportunity. Something tells you thereâs more to learn about this interesting man and what lies beneath his straight-faced sincerity.Â
The chatter from the bakery is replaced by the cityâs breathsâcars passing, dogs barking, footsteps on pavement rushing to get to their next destination. And you and Nanami stand by the entrance, neither knowing how to say bye.Â
âDo you come to thisââÂ
âMy studio is just by the corner, soââÂ
You quickly look at each other. Nanami bows his head slightly, hand gesturing for you to go first.
âSorry, um,â you tuck your sandwich in the crook of your elbow, âyes, I come here pretty often. My studio is just around the corner, so I drop by for quick meals when I can. You?âÂ
âItâs on the way to work most days.âÂ
You nod, humming.Â
Another awkward pause.
âI hope youââ
âI should getââ
You look at each other again, a bit more amused this time. The slight wrinkling of his eyes is impossible to hide.
He gestures for you to go first again, but you shake your head, offering him instead.Â
âI hope the pieces for your exhibit are going well.âÂ
âThank you,â you smile, bowing your head slightly.
That âsomethingâ in your brain speaks to you again.Â
âActually,â you begin, âsorry if this is weird, please feel free to decline, but,â you shift your weight, âI have one last piece to do and I was wondering if I could ask you.âÂ
Nanami looks taken aback for a moment, eyes wider than normal as he processes what youâd just said.Â
âAsk me⌠for an opinion?â he clarifies.Â
You mentally facepalm yourselfâyou really should have made yourself clearer.Â
âSorry, no, I meant,â you take a deep breath, fingers fiddling with your skirt, âif youâd like to be the subject for it.âÂ
The expression on his face is as indecipherable as ever.Â
.
.
.
MOLD. Be familiar with your art, learn more of its intricacies. What will you shape it to be?Â
In the most unexpected play of events, Nanami says yes, but not without his hesitations.Â
You explain your process: the selection of a subject, an interview to get to know them better, then a few meetings at the studio to create the mold of facial features before coating it in plaster.Â
Never in his entire law career did Nanami ever think he would be into art, much more be chosen to be the subject for it. But he figures, if anyone were to get him to do things so wholly out of character like this, it would be you.Â
After all, heâs been a fan of your works for a whileâfrom your third exhibit up to your seventh one now.Â
People love paintings and the strokes on canvas, admiring textures and blends of colors bleeding into one another; Nanami loves sculptures, a mixture of materials and techniques forming an object with more than one viewing plane.
âHave you always loved sculpting?â he asks, sitting still on the wooden stool in your studio.Â
A few meetings have gone by by now, and heâs told you a few things about himself for this to be a comfortable enough way to spend his Friday night: heâs a lawyer in a firm heâs co-founded with a good friend, evenings being the only free time in his schedule; he lives alone in a two-bedroom apartment and his neighborâs cat often lands on his balcony every morning; he likes coffee and tea, paperback books and music from the 30âs and 60âs.Â
He chose to be a lawyer to correct the shitty system thatâs vowed to help but has instead made it difficult for anyone genuinely trying to be good.Â
âI started with paper craft first,â you mold out the slope of his nose, looking back and forth between him and the mass of clay on your desk, âyou know that 3D looking paper art that kinda pops out of the page?âÂ
He hums instead, careful of any slight movement that may disrupt the pose youâre trying to replicate.Â
âAnd this?âÂ
Your metal scraper drags on the sides of the sculptureâs nose, sharpening it as it narrows to the bridge.Â
âI picked it up in college, was an outlet to keep me company during that time.â
The PR answer.Â
Nanami knows most of your general story; pamphlets and exhibits always give a run-down of the artistsâ individual histories. Youâd started sculpting as soon as you entered college, a need for company while in a completely unfamiliar place with no more home to return to. It was all or nothing, and as the sculptures grew in number, so did your popularityâyou are by no means a fresh name to the scene 10 years later.Â
âWhy do you love it?â he looks you in the eye.Â
You pause, holding his gaze for a few seconds before looking away, focusing on the chunk of wet clay between your fingertips as it turns more pliable.
âItâs gotten me through a lot.â you sigh, attaching the piece of clay to form his lips, âTouching clay feels therapeutic sometimes, and you can tell from how it looks if itâs been molded with love.âÂ
The stillness in your studio is extra quiet, filled only with the faint sounds of your fingertips sticking onto clay; he doesnât quite know what to say.Â
âSorry, that was cheesy.â you scrunch your nose and pout.Â
He chuckles, a low laugh, âNot at all.âÂ
You lock eyes, the curve of your lips upturned. He feels his eyes soften around its edges.Â
It makes sense, and he thinks he can understand; there must be a reason why he loves books with creased spines, why he prefers weathered pagesâwhy the scratches on his vinyl records donât bother him as much as it should.Â
.
You both like your coffee without milk, just with a bit of sugar for yours.Â
Nanamiâs taken up baking, specifically breadmaking, in his spare timeâhe brings you sourdough the next Friday you meet.Â
Your studio is an organized mess, scraps of clay decorating the otherwise bare and white space. To the left of the room is a large cork board filled with pinned sketches and some color swatchesâa visual representation of the creative chaos in your mind.Â
A whiteboard to its right holds your schedule, and everywhere across the room are your art piecesâon shelves, in glass cases. He assumes most of them are the versions that didnât make it, considering that the ones that have are either auctioned off or left as collectorâs pieces in exhibits and art museums.Â
âThatâs the first one I ever made.â you sneak up behind him, biting off the sandwich you hastily put together.
The sculpture is smaller than the busts youâve made for your current exhibit, but it still occupies a third of your shelf. Itâs unlike any of the works youâve ever done, but he supposes it makes sense, given how much your style has probably evolved over time.Â
The piece is a lot simpler in comparison to the edgy twists most of your works now contain, but the little girl fast asleep in the sculpture begs questions heâs not sure how to ask youâif he even should.Â
He continues to stare, clearing his throat; you eye him knowingly and snort.Â
âJust ask, I know you want to.âÂ
The texture of the carved blanket catches his eyes, the ripples and creases made to conform to the girlâs curled up figure. Thereâs a sadness underlying her comfort, a search for security while being wrapped in a bundle of safety.Â
âWho is it?â he asks.
You pause before you answer; heâs worried heâs crossed a line.Â
âMe.â you admit, a near-whisper.Â
He hums, back still faced towards you. It explains, then, why heâs always felt an underlying sadness beneath the creases of your smiles.Â
When he turns his face to the side, an attempt to catch your eyes, you look away, diverting.Â
âWhich one introduced you to me?â you gesture towards the rest of your pieces.Â
As itâs come to be, Nanamiâs learned that youâre good at that tooâcreating curves of deflections, pockets where you can hide when you feel somethingâs gotten too close.Â
He plays along, turning around to view the expanse of your studio; itâs amazing, how the art pieces that stack shelf upon shelf all boil down to your hard work. You briefly mentioned that you havenât taken a break from creating because you still donât believe you deserve it.
âItâs not here,â he puts his hands in his pockets, âthe one with the hand clutching a heart.âÂ
âUnhandââhis favorite piece of yours; heâd seen it in one of the museums he had to visit for one of his clients. Hyperrealistic branches of veins and arteries running across an anatomical heart, every curve and indent a carefully placed texture to bring your piece to life. It comes clenched in a hand, the veins streaming across each finger while blending into those of the heartâsâat first glance, itâs impossible to tell where one ends and the other starts.
Itâs a different view from each angleâthatâs why he likes it so much, along with the graphic nature of it. The pain feels vivid, real.
âAh,â you run your fingers across your work table, fiddling with the small pieces of clay before taking a seat again, âthat one.âÂ
Nanami follows but he doesnât say anything, resuming his place in front of you in the usual way heâs done the past few weeks.
âI didnât think I was the type to be moved by art.â he confesses, sitting still as you continue the final work on the clay wisps of his hair.
You encourage him to go on, nodding along.Â
And he does, watching the way your steady hand forms features that look uncannily like him, if not better; strands of your hair always fall from behind your ears and heâs almost tempted to tuck it back to where it came from.Â
He tells you of the pain he feels from that piece, how it presents itself in different ways depending on the area you focus onâthe constricted blood vessels, the buildup of pressure from a vein blocked by a thumb, the strain of muscles at the back of the hand.Â
A small smile makes its way onto your face, slightly sad but somehow relieved, âDidnât expect you to be such a poet.âÂ
âMust be from being around you so often,â he responds.
And if itâs a trick of the light, a part of him sinks at that possibilityâhe thinks your smile stretches wider, suppressed only by the shyness trying to hide it; no pain whatsoever.Â
Unexpectedly, you share with him the story. Not the filtered version, but the one just as raw and vivid as the sculpture made from itâa failed relationship that had you clinging onto sculpting as your lifeline. You spare him some of the gruesome details but hint at it enough that he can fill in the gaps on his own.
You tell him that youâre a people pleaser, youâve learnedâitâs the only way you can view that relationship with grace, that at least you understand yourself better because of it. That even when the grip on your heart wrung tight enough for each beat to hurt, you still clung on with all your worth.Â
(Now you know you shouldnât have.)Â
People have come to you with stories of their own, sharing how much your art means to them. Critics write articles, both good and bad, detailing the technicalities of your work. The applause follows you everywhere you go, yet it has never touched youâhas never gotten too close.Â
If your art has touched others, has listened and spoken their truth in your handiwork, who does that for you?Â
.
During one of the last few Friday meetings, you offer to teach him how to mold clay.Â
He looks at you curiously, watching the way your fingertips pinch and squeeze, how they glide to smoothen the material and press down to create indents on the surface.Â
âDo you want to try?â you ask, gaze still set on his sculpture in front of you. Thereâs a teasing edge to your tone, one thatâs developed over the months of getting to know you more.Â
âWould that be troublesome?âÂ
You laugh at his rigidness.Â
âOf course not.â you push your piece aside, standing up to gather clay from the mound of it to your right. You lay down a wooden platform for himâhis own little workspaceâand slam a chunk of clay atop it, âI think you might be good at it actually, since you like making bread.âÂ
The movements are familiar but not entirely the same. He rolls up his sleeves, blue cotton pinching at the creases of his elbows; you hand him an apron to protect the rest of his clothing. Thereâs not much kneading involved, not much palm action too, but he learns to move his fingertips with a force he can only compare to creating little dimples into focaccia dough.Â
You teach him how to make a bread basketâsomething practical but beginner-friendly; something he can use and keep as a reminder of you.Â
The trickiest part of it is mimicking the rattan weavings, and you notice him struggling with it when his strips of clay begin to break.Â
A screech fills the room as you push back your chair, standing up to go behind him as he attempts to salvage his work.
âHere, let meââ you reach over his shoulders, flattening some of the cracks from above him.
Youâve never been this close before, the thin strands of hair dusting your arms tickling the sides of his ears. These past few months, heâs watched your hands press and pull and form, turning each detail of his face into art. Itâs only now, right next to his larger and rougher ones that heâs noticing just how small and delicate yours are.Â
Itâs dainty work, weaving and braiding. He attempts to do it again, but the clay only falls apart when he pulls too hard.Â
You stifle a giggle, the vibrations tickling his back, âWe might take a while here.âÂ
âI donât mind.â he mumbles.
âYou sure you donât have anywhere else youâd rather be?â you lean forward, pressing closer until he feels your warmth against the back of his head, âI feel bad, Iâve been taking up most of your Friday nights already.âÂ
It shouldnât mean anything; he shouldnât feel anythingâyou seem to be unfazed; art is meant to be taught by doing.
But then your hands go over his, guiding them to lift each strand of clay gently before interweaving them with one another, and he thinksâ
âthis must be what it feels to be touched by art.Â
So, no.Â
Thereâs no other place heâd rather be.Â
.
.
.
DRY. Give it time, let it settle. Watch your art come into form. Is this a good foundation?Â
âWill you be free next weekend?âÂ
His question surprises you as you stand in line at the bakery. You tend to catch each other at just the right times almost everyday, saving a spot for whoeverâs running a little late.Â
Today, itâs you, rushing in slightly frazzled with your hair sticking out which way; youâd just finished up molding the sculpture late last night, letting it rest out to dry. Nanamiâs head is turned towards you, hands in his pockets as he directs the same pointed gaze youâve become all too accustomed to.
You must have forgotten to mention it.Â
âOh,â you turn to him, âthereâs no need, our sessions are over.âÂ
His silence makes you nervous, just like it did the first (second) time you met.
Did you upset him? Did he already cancel plans to free up time for your studio?Â
The entire trip to the cashier is quiet, but you find that heâs ordered ahead for youâyour sandwich order and a cup of your usual coffee. He pays for it too, despite your refusal (and confusion).Â
Itâs when he hands over your drink by the corner of the room that he finally speaks.Â
âNot for a session.âÂ
You tilt your head curiously.Â
The coffee feels warm on your hand, and you think you see the same warmth at the tips of his ears, dusting it light pink. He coughs, fingers clenching around his tie before loosening it.Â
âFor a date.âÂ
.
You begin to take up his weekends now, too.Â
Since that day at the bakery, when youâd nearly dropped your coffee before stuttering out your availability, youâve already gone on seven dates (to you, at least; Nanami would officially count three).Â
He insists on still visiting you every Friday, bringing you dinner as a reminder that you should eat on time and not the moment youâre keeling over from a rumbling stomach and a pounding headache. You count these as dates tooâbecause what else do you call spending time with someone you like while having night-long conversations over good food?Â
(Nanami creates a distinction though, prefers his dates to be more planned out and intended. On the three official dates youâve gone on, heâs brought you to three different locationsâa weekend market, a picnic by a lake after youâd mentioned something about it, and a vintage record shop on the outskirts of the city, a place he frequents often).Â
The near-perfection you once thought of the man, a geometric study on canvasâheâs still every bit of it, still every bit as interesting as what he seemed, just in a completely different way.Â
For a man typically so nonchalant, he is extremely particular about his tastes, borderline picky with trusted company.Â
Nanami enjoys coffee (as expected), but the fermented filter kind, dripped down a V60 pour over to extract different notes of sweetness and acidity. Youâd think he enjoys a straight black, face stoic enough to handle its bitter bite; but no, his jaw clenches when he dislikes the taste, his tongue sounding the faintest click against the roof of his mouth before he downs the entire thing in one gulp.Â
He also happens to be extremely gentle, in a way you donât expect from a man of his stature and build. Veins run through the back of his large hands, branching to webs around the thickness of his fingers; they may not be delicate enough to weave clay, but he carves out different patterns on the sourdough he presents to you every Friday.Â
The first time he held your hand, it wasnât exactly plannedâan instinctive move to reach out his palm as you climbed the steps of the spiral staircase in the record store out of town. Youâd barely felt it then, just the featherlight hold of his thumb pressed against your knuckles as you gripped the fabric of your skirt.Â
(To your surprise, he kept it up all the way through, slipping his fingers through the gaps between yours as he showed you around vintage vinyls and the sound of love in muffled 60âs tunes.)
You imagine him to be like clay, a softness hardened over the years that have shaped him; smooth but solid to the touch, breaking into powdered shards once you manage to work your way through.Â
Itâs unexpected, but you like that.Â
And you like himâquite a lot, really.Â
This dateâthe tenth, or fourth, whicheverâis a lot fancier than all the others, a more formal dinner with a few glasses of delicious wine whose name you by god, donât remember. Youâd been too focused on something elseâthe handsome way heâd slicked back strands of his honeyed hair.Â
Black suits him, contrasting the paleness of his skin and complementing the sharpness of his features.Â
Black, the color of his suit, pressed neatly to fit him perfectly. He looks clean, broad shoulders with straight slacks falling to exactly where theyâre supposed to be.Â
Black, which is the only thing you see, pressed up against him. Youâre so close by your doorway, that half-minute of deciding whether to stay or walk away; he has one foot behind him and one firmly planted right next to yours.Â
You share a breath, fingers lightly intertwined with his.Â
There had been signs the entire night that it would lead to something like thisâheâd played with your fingers a lot more, kept much closer to you than he ever has before.Â
Every sound around you is amplifiedâeach inhale and exhale, the gulp he makes; your heart beats on rampage.
When you look up, your noses are almost touching, and his eyes are shut, the crease between his eyebrows deepening.Â
Itâs a look youâve only seen once before, when heâs stuck contemplating.Â
âKento,â you whisper.Â
His eyes blink open slightly, the color of your coffee. He leans forward, forehead resting against yours as he takes a deep breath, âIââ
Then you kiss him.Â
Itâs mostly a peck really, and wholly out of character for you, but itâs that same something that compelled you to ask him to model for your sculpture months ago thatâs pushed you to do this right now.Â
Youâre worried for that first split-second because he doesnât move, shows no sign at all of reciprocating. Itâs a moment before you consider parting that he finally softens, relaxing his lips as he glides them over yours. His fingers slot themselves by your ear, palm pressed against your jaw as he deepens it; you almost stumble back, his other hand catching your weight as it leans on your door.Â
Itâs a good thing you did this then, because you learn that he likes you tooâvery much, actually.Â
.
Things are good a month until your exhibit.Â
Things are good until they arenât.Â
You end up reading a premature critique on your exhibit, calling it âoverratedâ and âboringâ, detailing the trajectory of your decline as an artist, citing your works as having become increasingly more lackluster over the years.Â
The critic calls your theme âlazyâ and âunoriginalâ, predicting your pieces to be nothing extraordinary or different from your older sculptures.Â
All this time, your publicist and manager have made it a point to protect you from things like this, requesting that you avoid searching up your name on social media or search engines. Youâre usually fed with praises and the occasional constructive criticism, but never anything as spiteful as this.Â
Itâs every possible thing that could be said to invalidate your hard work.Â
And you break because of itâalong with Nanamiâs sculpture.
It tips over accidentally, the funk in your mood making you especially clumsy.Â
The damage is terrible, half of his face is gone, his neck down still intact but chipped off. Itâs impossible to repair without redoing the entire thingâwhich, you donât have the time for, either.Â
You groan, banging your head against the table.Â
Frustration leaks out in your tears, every inch of self-doubt surfacing.Â
Nanami finds you in your studio that way.Â
Heâd texted you the entire day, tried calling you a few times to no success. Itâs a Thursday, but without your usual âjust got homeâ text, heâd gotten worried and rushed over as soon as his meeting ended.Â
If heâs being honest, youâve been off this entire weekâstressed and distant, overworked from revisiting all your finished sculptures for the exhibit in case of anything to change or tweak.
Then this.Â
And itâs too muchâitâs all too much.Â
Nanami calls your name from your entryway and you look up with tears streaming down your face. Heâs never seen you like this, you could never want him to.Â
He hurries over, brows immediately furrowed as he digs into his pocket for a handkerchief. The cow print would make you giggle on any other day, but now, he uses it to wipe your tears away.Â
âWhat happened?â his gaze shifts to your right, his sculpture half-ruined.Â
Silence.Â
âIs there anything I can do?â he asks hesitantly.Â
You shake your head, swiping at your nose, âIt wonât look the same, Ken.âÂ
âDo you want to redo it? I can clear up my schedule everyââ
âThereâs no time.âÂ
Nanami takes your hands to rub his thumbs over your knuckles, soothing.Â
âThen weâll do what we can.âÂ
The sincerity in his voice hurts you, the reassurance in his eyes even moreso. Youâve never had anyone look at you this way.Â
âThereâs no point.â your shoulders slump, lips trembling as another wave of tears pool on your lash line. âPeople are calling the exhibit a flop.âÂ
âWho?âÂ
You huff out, exhausted, âI donât know, critics, media. Whoever.âÂ
He furrows his brows, firm, âThey donât understand what youâre doing.âÂ
You chuckle sarcastically, âTheyâre art critics, Ken, of course theyââÂ
âIf it means something to you, what does it matter to anyone else?âÂ
That makes you look up.Â
Nanami stares at you with the same unwavering gaze, no longer indecipherable to you. Thereâs a softness in the squint of his eyes that you now know means concern, with every pointed feature only meant to drive his words home.Â
Youâve been second guessing everything down to the core of your abilities, because of what? A few words? This must be what you get for having a penchant to people please, for hinging on everything everyone has to say.Â
âIf you love what you create, then continue to make it.â he squeezes your hands, as if pressing the words into your bones gently.Â
.
You remold and repair, and you build up your sculpture to something different but not worse than before.Â
You remold and repair to build up yourself.Â
The half that broke off isnât as symmetrical as youâd like it to beâand it definitely doesnât do justice to the man itâs sculpted of, but you think you like the softness you added to it, how his eyes look kinder. He means something else to you now, after all, compared to when you first started sculpting him.Â
And you think, you know just what kind of design speaks of his soul.Â
.
.
.
PAINT. Add the final touches, perfect your piece. Bring it to life with colors and details, whether it be for one pair of eyes or many. Do you now see?
Nanami teaches you how to make bread on a Sunday morning.Â
Flour coats every surface of his counter, dustings of it transferred to the deep blue of his apron. Youâre wearing a white one, borrowed from your studio. Elbow-to-elbow you knead, and he only has to teach you once for you to get the hang of it, really.Â
He smirks, âYouâre a natural.âÂ
âMust do stuff like this a lot in another life or something,â you stifle a giggle, playing along.Â
Itâs a beautiful day out, golden sunlight hitting your cheekâNanami stares, sneaks peeks between every knead. The same strands of hair tucked behind your ear fall to frame your face, and he hooks his pinky around it to tuck it right back (because he can now, without having to hesitate).Â
You turn to him, daylight in your eyes when you grin your thanks.Â
His kitchen has an open space, deep wood and black metal detailings as its central theme (the white bread bread basket you made together stands out on the counter, but heâs done that on purpose). Thereâs a pretty extensive collection of alcohol in his liquor cabinet, along with his very particular coffee set-up right next to his record player slotted in the corner.Â
On Sunday mornings, Nanami likes to keep his music playing; today, itâs the classic 60âsââCanât Take My Eyes Off Youââserving as your background beat, with the soft meows from the cat on his balcony as added accompaniment to the melody.Â
He watches you sway, his feet tapping along, then you jolt, giggling in surprise when thereâs a hiccup in the song (itâs from the scratches on his record, but he canât bother replacing it with a new one). After that breakdown in your studio, youâve seemed to loosen up immensely.Â
âKen,â you call him, âhow much pressure do you usually put into kneading?âÂ
Thereâs no way to explain it, really, but to make you feel it yourself.Â
âLet meââ he lets go of his dough, dusting his hands with more flour before coming up behind you.Â
Nanami is a big man, tall and lean, all chest and shouldersâwhen he hunches over you, you look so small, delicately tucked into him. Heat rushes to his cheeks, if you turn around youâd see pink; the music is drowned out by his heartbeat.Â
He leans forward, palms clasping over the back of your hands, fingers slotting themselves between the gaps of yours.Â
âLike this,â he pushes down, his chest pressed against your back. To get a better look at the dough, he tilts his head to the side, nearly slotting it by your shoulder, âCan you feel it?âÂ
You hum, your swaying gone. Heâs trying hard to focus on the bread, but when you turn your head to face him, the tip of your nose touching his cheek, he stops.Â
The moment is tense, drowned into silence despite the music playing in the background. He can hear your every breath.Â
âThank you,â you whisper.Â
Nanami knows itâs for many thingsâfor agreeing to the sculpture, for spending time on it; for this Sunday morning, for being there when you needed someone the most. But thatâs not the whole point of this, he thinks. Itâs how you sound, voice heartfelt and filled with something elseâa kind of affection heâs all too familiar with himself.Â
This must be what you mean when you say you can tell if clay has been molded with love.Â
.
In the quiet, Nanamiâs hands move loudly.Â
He holds you gently, just like he always has, but itâs a permission every timeâlike heâs asking if he can touch you, love you in ways you aren't used to.Â
Your apron falls to the floor, followed by your skirt, the fabric pooling by your feet. The faded gray t-shirt you wear during studio days is tugged over your head, dropped next to him. He takes his time with you, turning you over, feeling you, knowing youâthick fingers squeezing the sides of your arms lightly as his lips press against your neck.Â
A gasp escapes you.Â
Then you move, nimble hands undoing the buttons of his shirt, pushing it open as you feel across the planes of taut muscle on his stomach and chest.Â
He groans, soft and low, your fingers brushing against his skin, ticklish.Â
You take a step back and he moves along with you, letting you settle into yourself as you inch backwards, the back of your knees knocking against the edge of your bed. He holds your gaze as you move towards your headrest, your shy smile doing nothing to lessen the butterflies in his chestâyou did mention that itâs been a while.Â
He kneels on your bed, the mattress dipping to accommodate his weightâhis slacks have been discarded to the side as he crawls over you.Â
Beneath him, you look like the very subject art could only wish to replicate.Â
So, he makes sure to remember all of itâto look close and memorize every detail of you as he dips down, arm planted to the side of your head as his other hand cradles your face, tilting your jaw up for a kiss.Â
He catches your lower lip between his, running his tongue over it before sucking lightly. You moan, smooth and honey-sweet, bringing him closer with your fingers clasped behind his neck. The room is quiet save for your lips smacking against each otherâs, warm and soft as the heat builds between you. Â
Slowly and tenderly, with the same care you tend to clay, Nanami discovers all your dips and curves; he kneads the flesh of your hips, gripping your thighs as he kisses his way down the slopes of your body.Â
You squirm in his hold, tugging at his hair when the sensation feels too much, too good.Â
(But when he reaches between your legs, arms locking your thighs over his shoulders, you realize, nothing could have ever prepared you for this, for himâhe treats you as if you are every bit of the art you make, and looks at you like it too.)Â
Then, Nanami kisses you on the forehead when heâs inside you, lips pressing on the part of your skin that creases when your brow furrows.Â
A tear drips down your face.Â
âShould Iââ he looks you in the eye, worried.Â
âNo,â you breathe out, a watery smile as you nudge your nose against his chin, âkeep going.âÂ
So, he does; he loves you without the applause, with the feel of his hands, leaving no place untouched.
He moves his body against yours.Â
Itâs only after, when he tucks himself into your neck, arms wrapped around you and skin sticking onto skin that you tell him your tears arenât anything bad.Â
For the first time in a while, you feel fullâperfectly content.Â
.
He thinks you should be the final piece to your exhibit.Â
Itâs a grand event, the conference hall decked in some of your previous works; blankets of white cloth drape over the stageâthe unveiling of all your sculptures. Youâre standing to the side, looking pretty in a long white skirt while Nanami blends among the crowd, far back enough to remain hidden from reporters but close enough to catch your eyes should you look his way.Â
You present each one, introducing the titles with brief descriptions of the people theyâre sculpted from. The reasons for your designs are left primarily up to interpretation, but youâve explained it all to Nanamiâheâs listened to every single one.Â
Then you present his sculpture, finding him through the crowd. The corner of your lips curl up slightly, the stage lights reflecting on your eyes.Â
He smiles at you the same.Â
âThe Undoingâ is what you call itâhalf-perfect and half-salvaged.Â
Itâs far from your original vision for the piece, but you think you like this more, splitting down the part thatâd originally broken off into two different colors. His entire color scheme consists of yellows, greens, and brownsâthe perfected side of his face appears in clean strokes of coffee, with light yellows highlighting his pointed features. The angles are clean and sharp, his gaze straight and dead-on.Â
Running down the cracks of the broken half is a sky blue line, an almost glowing effect added to the salvaged side. In a way, itâs an emergence, of the part of him you never thought existedâgreen wisps like leaves, a life springing from within. You add flecks of gold to mimic light bouncing off his irises the same way sand becomes a glittering sea of sunbeams.Â
To you, Nanami is warm but cold to the touch, and heâs undone you just as much, has chipped away at the parts of you that have built themselves over years of habits reinforced and untouched.Â
It is as much you as it is him.Â
Thatâs what happens when you love someone, he supposesâan intermingling of souls.Â
Kraft paper crinkles in his grip as he adjusts the bouquet of flowers behind him, deep red carnations and orange tulips decorated with white astilbe flowersâfor when you get down, and he can have a moment with you privately.Â
Now, he looks at you fondly, shifting his feet from where heâs standing. You search for his face, eyes darting to where you know youâll find him; he meets your gaze, and you smile brighter, that one look ringing louder than the standing roars of an echoing applause.

a/n: each segment represents the steps to making a sculpture that i tried to parallel with the development of their relationship. V60 pour over is a kind of set-up for drip/filter coffee.
thank you notes: for @mididoodles, this is my very late birthday gift for you midi, but i hope you like it! (this also so happens to be your request for my in's and out's event) 𼺠+ @soumies @scarabrat for reading through the first third of this and believing in the vision for this when i was so unsure of it, i love you both 𼺠+ @stellamancer for helping me figure out what goes in the 'contains' đ + @augustinewrites to scratch the nanami itch đĽş

comments, tags, and reblogs are greatly appreciated âĄ
Unconventional

Bakugou Katsuki x fem reader
Had this lil idea of what it would be like to date Bakugou in secret, how dating him is pretty unconventional and he doesnât go by any traditional standards.
Possible part 2..?
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Dating Bakugou was anything but normal but you were okay with that. He showed you he cared in his own ways, even if they were unconventional. The fact your relationship was a secret also didnât bother you. He kinda implied heâd like to keep it quiet at the beginning telling you âthose damn extras will just try nâ nosey in, âspecially that raccoon eyes oneâ
You were honestly surprised you were dating sometimes, considering how opposite you both were. You personalities often collided and so did you quirks, it was actually the reason for most of your interactions when you first started U.A. He hated your quirk. It surprised him during battle training. A water based quirk that allowed you to manipulate any water source, his sweat included and thats what got him. He lost to a stupid extra like you all because you fired his sweat back at him.
He was hell-bent on beating you where-ever and whenever he could, first the damn nerd and now some extra who wouldnât bat an eye his way outside of training. What? did you think you were above him? Bakugou noticed his thoughts there after were almost always of you, at least once a day you popped into his mind. He realised he wasnât just thinking of different ways to beat you, he was just thinking about you..
What lead to the weird relationship you shared before he asked you out was also unconventional. It was after school one day, Bakugou yelling for you to slow down and asking forcing you to come train with him. He was thinking all day of a way to get back at you for beating his ass in some basic training a few weeks ago. You tried to object, voice calm and contrasting the blondes shouts but he wouldnât take no for an answer.
This was the spark that lead to you both dating. You didnât mean to hurt him as bad as you did, in all honesty you panicked. The blonde was moving more feverishly through the air, more agile and quicker than usual. He was determined. Your typical calm composure broke and you slammed him into the training post with a flush attack. You didnât mean to slam him as hard as you did nor did you mean to take so much water from the nearby fountain. You winded and basically waterboarded the poor boy.
âBakugou! Im so sorry. I panicked I didnât mean to be so roughâ you squeaked, dropping to your knees as your hands grabbed at his face, holding it as your concerned eyes met his wild ones. His breaths shallow as he tried to catch his breath. Your hands moving down to squeeze his biceps as you took deep breaths hoping heâd mimic you, which he did.
âGet off me! Mâfineâ he was more flustered over the coldness of your hands on his face and arms than the initial winding. His cheeks turning red as he shoved you and quickly stumbled up only to stagger as pain erupted from his lower back. You quickly rushed over to him, looping his arm over your neck. His voice loud in your ear as he tried to get away but with each sharp movement came another pang of pain in his back.
âBakugou! We have to get you to recovery girlâ you chewed on your lip, feeling guilty as ever for hurting the blonde. Your thoughts running rampant.
Well if he didnât like you before he definitely doesnât now!
âNo, just bring me back to my dorm you damn wussâ he grumbled and you nodded not wanting to argue with him any longer.
The walk back to the dorms was thankfully short but seriously tense and awkward. The guilt was eating at you as you chewed your lip. The blonde staggering trying not to lean his weight on you. His heavy arm around your shoulder was already a bit much. The communal area thankfully was empty but Bakugous dorm was on the 4th floor and of course the elevators were broken. You both quietly grumbled as you took to the stairs, getting up to the second floor when you heard voices.
âHey Denki you know were Bakugous at?â Kirishima asked from round the corner. Bakugou tensed and so did you as you glanced up at him.
âYour room is on this floor isnât it?â He mumbled, probably the quietest youâd ever heard him. You just nodded as his body trembled ever so slightly from the exertion.
âJust go there till these damn extras clear offâ he grumbled, more annoyed than before. He just wanted his bed didnât wanna sit in some girly pink room that would probably give him a migraine. You helped the blonde get quickly into your room hearing their voices get louder as you caught a glimpse of the red head as he turned the corner. His eyes missing the tuft of blonde you shoved inside your door.
âH-here you can sit on my bedâ you mumbled as you helped him onto the bed. Your room actually surprised him slightly. He really expected it to be glitter vomit everywhere. His eyes narrowed in on you as you stood in front of him, picking at your fingers. Your eyes glancing at his red ones but quickly flicking away.
âIm only stayinâ till the coast is clear or my back feels better. Donât wanna be round you more than I have toâ he grumbled out and you nodded watching as he sat still hunched over. His fingers curled into the plush comforter on the edge of your bed.
âIm really sorry again Bakugou, do you want anything? Any water or a heat packâ you apologised again, bowing as your thoughts scattered in your brain.
Great! There go any chances of him ever liking you. Your crush on Bakugou was honestly a curse that you loved and hated. The blonde grew on you for some reason much without your consent. You tried to be as secretive as possible but it must be so obvious considering how flustered you get round him. Your cheeks always get so red Uraraka constantly thinks youâre sick. The only time you can really think is when youâre training but thats just cause you wanna impress him, so much for that, nearly crippled the boy.
âHeat pack would be goodâ he mumbled quietly, not wanting to accept your generosity charity. You nodded, quickly going into the small box at the end of the bed that had a small collection of medical items, heat packs especially for when you got your period.
You cracked the pack and handed it to him watching as he reached his hand round only to jerk and pull it back. A breath leaving his mouth as he hunched over again. Your eyes widened as you stepped over, grabbing the heat pack from him and moving onto the bed.
âLet me, please I donât want you hurting yourself anymoreâ you quickly said, leaving no room for protest from him as his cheeks heated. âU-um, where does it hurt the most?â
âJust above my lower back..yea, thereâ okay both your cheeks were burning as your hands gripped the bottom of his shirt, lifting it up to reveal the blondes toned back. A red ugly mark directly in the centre. Your light touches made the blonde suck a breath in as his stomach tensed. Your fingers ghosting the edges of the mark scared of hurting him anymore. His back was littered with small scraps and scars. The pale skin marred.
âYâgonna put it on or what?â He forced out, voice hoarser than he intended. You puffed your cheeks out as you laid the patch over the red mark. His skin tingled from your cold hands as you dropped the shirt and shuffled back round to sit beside him. His head hung low eyes downcast as the quietest thanks left his lips you almost didnât hear it.
âYou donât need to thank me, Its my fault your hurtâ you laughed sheepishly and the blondes head snapped to yours eyes narrowed.
âJust accept it alright! Last time i ever thank you for somethinââ you nodded, a smile on your face at his antics.
It certainly wasnât the last time he thanked you for something and something developed from that interaction after all Bakugou was actually forced to stay for an hour before he was able to walk without your aid. To most people nothing special occurred in that hour, two classmates in ones bedroom hanging out but this was Bakugou Katsuki, the man who didnât willingly have friends nor enjoyed hanging out with the ones he was forced to have but being in your room for an hour was more than enough time for the crush you had on him to explode as you sat on the bed together and made the tiniest small talk ever! And his thoughts of you finally became clear and a weird feeling settled in his chest. His behaviour towards you changed too, he treated you differently it was really only noticeable if you paid close enough attention but your classmates chalked it up as Bakugou just not bothering someone as quiet as you as much.
"so.. who here has a secret boyfriend we don't know about?" mina asks the first thing that came to mind not even a minute after this impromptu slumber party that's currently held in yaoyorozu's room
after a long week of training and pro hero studies, you lot decided to why not unwind by having a little sleepover at one of the girls' rooms. yaoyorozu was kind enough to volunteer to hold it in her room as she has never experienced sleepovers with others
you all looked at each other with curiosity. curious if anyone was actually in a committed relationship that the class didn't know about. not like it was their business or anything..
"what? nobody? that's kinda hard to believe.." hagakure comments, genuinely surprised since usually at this age where everyone is in high school, you're bound to get into relationships
"i mean it's like we have the time to mingle around since we're busy with training and on top of that, trying to keep afloat with our academics" tsuyu points out, a finger on her chin as she recalls if anyone actually had free time to spare amidst all the chaos your class has been through
hearing what tsuyu said, mina whines, dramatically flailing her arms around
"ugh i hate that what you said is true, tsuyu-chan.. but what about crushes! do you guys have a crush on anyone in class or anyone in ua?" mina continues to bombard everyone with questions related to romance. to you it almost feels targeted because you're not too sure if she knows something about you
"crushes?" uraraka trails off. all of a sudden she shakes her head vigorously.
"what's wrong uraraka-chan?" tsuyu asks, worried
"oh my god! are you crushing on someone?!" hagakure squeals, "you have someone in mind don't you!"
the girls (minus you, tsuyu and yaoyorozu) start to bombard her with questions
"is it midoriya?!"
"is it iida?!"
"who?!"
"it's nobody!" uraraka defends herself, shaking her hands around. mina pouts but drops the subject.
you didn't even realize that you were holding in your breath til jirou points it out
"what's with the sigh of relief, y/n?" jirou pokes your side jokingly.
wrong move on your part
suddenly there was a certain glint on mina's eyes. like you just walked into her trap
"you haven't said anything since we started talking about crushes, y/n-chan.. anyone in mind?" mina grins mischievously.
"no one" you say abruptly but it turns out your own body betrays you. you can literally feel the heat creeping up to your cheeks
"oh my god she's blushing! WHO! IS IT IN OUR CLASS OR CLASS B? WHO?! WE NEED TO KNOW" hagakure squeals in joy, suddenly clasping your hands together as she shakes you
"it's nobody you guys-"
"i've been meaning to ask, y/n-san.. if there's anything going on between you and bakugo-san" yaoyorozu speaks up for the first time tonight
mina and hagakure both scream in delight
"what makes you say that, yaomomo?" you ask, trying to calm your heartbeat at the mention of the boy you think you're seeing..
you and bakugo had a weird, for lack of better word, "relationship" going on at the moment. one would call it a situationship but you're still not 100% sure if it's even heading to that direction
it all started after the provisional license exams. the same night where he and deku had a brawl at ground beta. right after bakugo and deku got dismissed by aizawa, you bumped into him in the kitchen. obviously scared out of your wits that he was looking all beaten up, you brought him to the nearest bathroom to clean his cuts and bruises
since then you and him had found yourselves in this weird "relationship". sure, he's still the same bakugo you first met during the first day of classes. always brash and rowdy but when it was only the two of you.. he was.. a littler calmer than usual
to others, he was his usual explosive self but when it came to you, his tone would be a little softer. still, it's still rough around the edges but the subtle change is noticeable if you were a close friend of his
overtime, you and bakugo slowly became touchy with each other. there were lingering stares, lingering touches when you two were paired up to spar during training and what not
obviously with this sudden change of attitude towards you, the whole class noticed it. why were you getting treated differently by the king explosion god himself?
and before you even noticed it, you found yourself almost by his side at all times in the dorms. may it be in the kitchen where you're basically his second in command when he was in charge of cooking, in the lounge whenever everyone decides to have a little movie marathon or a little celebration, literally everywhere to the point everyone had made assumptions that you two have something going on
have you guys said anything about your little situation? no
have you guys shared a kiss? maybe
have you guys been caught holding hands? definitely. on multiple occasions
but nobody dared to question it. or else they would've been blown away by boom boom boy himself.
that is until, the girls found an opening which was tonight at yaoyorozu's room, in the middle of your slumber party
"i didn't mean to eavesdrop that one time but i overheard you giving him your notes when he was under house arrest for a few days" yaoyorozu sheepishly admits. she suddenly clasps her hands together and bows as she spews apologies for eavesdropping that one time
and like a domino effect, it seems like all the girls have noticed something about the two of you all along
"that reminds me! when we were practicing for the school festival, one time i saw bakugo teaching y/n how to play drums!" jirou quips
"did you guys notice the look on bakugo's face during the joint training with class 1-b when she got hit by gevaudan?! he was pissed!" uraraka adds
"don't think we didn't notice the look you have on your face whenever bakugo comes home from their remedial classes" hagakure teases
"god i've been dying to know! kirishima keeps telling me that he hears bakugo laughing to himself late at night at times now it's all clicking!" mina gushes
all this time you thought you and bakugo hid it well. then again it's like you two even had the chance to properly talk about whatever you two have going on
"so what do you have to say for yourself, y/n-chan? or cat got your tongue?" mina teases, nudging your shoulder
all the girls lean forward, awaiting for your answer
"... we're friends- yeah that's right! we're just friends you guys" you say awkwardly, scratching the back of your head as a nervous habit to top it all off
mina and hagakure don't buy it
"that's not very nice of you to deny your boyfriend like that" mina teases, poking you multiple times in hopes you break (you almost do)
not wanting to say anything else that could potentially jinx whatever you have going on with the blonde, you shrug. it might be a little embarrassing on your end to admit that you and the infamous bakugo katsuki were in a little dilemma you call a situationship
sensing that you weren't gonna budge anytime soon, mina moves on with the subject. talking about what quirks they wished they have from the class
you took this time to pull out your phone and send a little update to your.. friend
[9:24PM] you: so the girls asked me if i had a boyfriend.. [9:24PM] kitkats: and what did u say?? [9:25PM] you: i said no lol cus i dont have one [9:26PM] kitkats: ?? [9:26PM] kitkats: so am i just an arm accessory now or?
right before you were able to reply back, mina snatches your phone from your hands.
"no texting during the slumber party!" she yells, before taking a peek at who you're messaging
"give it back, mina!" you scream, trying to get your phone back to prevent her from reading what seems to be a new message from bakugo
"oh my god it's bakugo! wait let me send him a pic so he won't disturb our party" she squeals, taking a quick selfie of everyone with you looking all stressed out
"and.. sent!" she smiles proudly. after what seems like torture (it was only a few seconds) mina tosses your phone back to your hands before continuing on whatever you guys were talking about
not even a minute later, bakugo replies
[9:30PM] kitkats: raccoon eyes you better not set yn up with someone else when im literally right fuckin' here
new billie eilish album is soooo good minus when she talks about wishing them the best because i do not
âYou shouldnât be up this lateâ
Bakugoâs voice whispered, filling the silence in the dorm kitchen. He was right, and usually you werenât. You valued your sleep, often being one of the first in the class to call it a night. But tonight was different. Your thoughts, your heart, was restless. Despite following your nighttime routine, which was curated specifically to help you wind down and rest, you still found yourself tossing and turning. Not even your ocean sounds could help you drift to sleep. Thats why when Bakugo spoke, you sighed heavily and let your shoulders droop.
âYeah. I know.â
He took a few steps toward you, leaning against the countertop. âSo whatâs got you awake?â You shrugged at him, watching the water in the electric kettle begin to form small bubbles. âDunnoâŚjust canât sleep I guess.â You looked over to him, taking soft note of his tired eyes and disheveled hair. âAnd you? You arenât usually awake at this time either.â He shrugged right back at you. âDunnoâŚcanât sleep I guessâ he echoed your words, and it made you smile just a bit.
You both knew why the other was awake, or at least you both had some inkling. Between how the ambush attack played out and Midoriya running away, neither of you have had time to really process all of what has gone on. You havenât had time to think about how your lives had been flipped one eighty. But since Midoriya was back safe and sound, and there was no real information on the League or their next move, everything was at a standstill. That meant your brain was finally coming up to speed on what had gone on recentlyâŚand it was overwhelming. It felt like your mind was in over drive, thinking so many thoughts at once that it was causing you to lose sleep.
ââŚThereâs a lot of water in this kettle. Would you like some tea?â Bakugo didnât answer, just walked over to the mug cabinet and grabbed both of your designated mugs. Yours had your hero insignia, and he had his. It was Nezuâs Christmas gift for all of the hero course students. Bakugo opened the tea drawer, grabbing you each a packet of sleepytime zen tea before walking back over to you. You worked in silence then, enjoying each otherâs company as you made your own cups.
Your relationship with Bakugo was unique. You admired him, even when he was a bit of an asshole at the beginning of the school year. Youâve enjoyed watching him grow and working beside him as a teammate. You were inspired by his tenacity and drive. You liked how smart and witty he was, and how he could be funny even when he didnât realize it. It also didnât hurt that he was actually pretty cute. And all of the same things went for you in his eyes. He admired your kindness and your courage. He was inspired by the way you had such a big heart but you were no push over, standing up to him when he got too rough with his words or during training. In his eyes, it was like you were one of the only people to give him a chance, getting to know him past his rough exterior. You two had gotten closer during the year, training and studying together sometimes. You began to sit next to him for lunch, stealing small pieces of chicken from his plate while he stole beef from yours. You were the only one with that privilege. Eventually, you became this unlabeled, unspoken thing. You didnât have to confess your feelings because he knew, and you knew how he felt about you even if heâs never admitted it.
You softly sipped your tea, allowing the warm liquid to run down your throat and causing you to sigh. He stirred his own cup, watching the spoon go around and around. Technically, there was nothing else for you two to do in the kitchen. Technically, you couldâve parted ways right here and drank your own cups in your rooms. But you couldnât bear to leave him. Deep down, you both didnât want to be alone tonight.
âBakugo?â He looked up as you said his name. âCould I sleep over in your room tonight? I donât think I want to be aloneâ
All he did was scoff, pick up his mug and began walking towards the staircase. When he realized you werenât following, he scowled and turned to look at you.
âLetâs go brat. Iâm missing out on my beauty sleepâ
âââââ
Ps: im starting to do requests! So if you have an idea for me, go ahead and put it in my asks <3
001 / the beginning
â island!yn x pro hero bakugou katsuki
synopsis: when the country forces bakugou to go into hiding from a villain, he gets sent to this beautiful island with blue seas, a beaming sun and you.
cw: nothing! just an intro. female reader.
an: i wanna write a series so this is part one to that! itâs gonna be similar to ccu as ive got some ideas but im mostly writing as i go and will take on any ideas from asks! im looking forward to bkg and island!yn !!! will make a masterlist when thereâs more n obvs nsfw to come! (icu? LOL the icu!!!)
twenty seven out of thirty five votes told him to go. this included his own company, the japanese government, pro heroes and his friends. they all thought it was in japan and the worldâs favor for him to fuck off to another country and hide. hide. when did bakugou katsuki ever hide from a problem? heâs always been one to face it, especially a villian who he knew he could beat.
yet everyone, including his own friends, thought he couldnât. the villain announced that dynamight was his last and final target and apparently that meant for him to be protected like a naive civilian and shipped to an island thousands of miles from home.
âwe need you alive. thatâs all that matters,â deku had said. his own best friend and yet, bakugou still couldnât wrap his head around how it would be easier if he left. if the villain came to attack, he could kill them.
âwe need to make a plan and itâs easier if we make the plan while youâre away and safe. thereâs no point if you die during the plan, is there?â kirishima told him, âit wonât even be that long. just think of it a holiday, bro.â
so, here bakugou is, on an island where only deku knows, in hiding.
as soon as he landed off his commercial flight in the tiny local airport, he took in how beautiful the scenery was. blue clear waters that glistened like crystals were floating on the surface. the sun shone bright, making the pink flowers flourish and every room need air conditioning. there was always someone around selling fruit or ice cold water with a smile and lust for life.
even his one floor beach home was a sight. close to the sea, small television, homemade colourful rug and a kitchen with a green backsplash. the ground was cool orange tiles and he has a front and back porch. the home was smaller than his one back home but had everything he needed. he rented from a guy who also lived on the island who was so nice, bakugou thought there was a prank to it. he remembered what bakugou said in the email about gym equipment and added some dumbbells in the spare room. they weighed practically nothing to him but it was the thought that counted. the old man, curls of grey hair on his head, even slapped him on the shoulder in a friendly manner, âyou know what? you look like youâd take care of the place, iâll lower the rent for ya.â
in different circumstances, maybe he would have loved this as a holiday. quiet and discreet. nobody bothering him unless he wanted. but the itch that he wouldnât know whatâs happening back home, that he couldnât just help, angered him to no end. useless on an island when he could be saving his country. now, his biggest problem was not being completely and utterly bored in paradise.
bakugou locked his front door behind him before stuffing his keys in his pocket. heâs just finished doing a sweep of his home. planning the nearest escape routes, checking for hidden cameras, a deep clean, the usual when staying in a new place as a hero. his next step was doing the same to the island. well not the deep clean part but looking around, making sure he knows as much as he can incase the villain finds him here.
the sunâs heat thrived throughout the day and the nearest reprieve was the light breeze of the shining blue ocean. it wasnât a sight he got often in japan or when he travelled so he took it in as much as he could. he plopped down on a brick wall and looked out. his head wandered, like it usually does, eyes darting around until it landed on you.
every thought stilled. the weather was no longer overpowering, in fact everything was a dreamlike fuzz around you. you were walking along the beach, towel over your shoulder, book and sandals in hand. you walked with familiarity, in a dark plum bikini that held your body like a glove. he almost cursed the flower printed scarf you had tied around your waist before he realised how perverted he must be coming across.
though he still didnât look away. you were coming closer. hair braided with a wide brimmed straw hat perched on your head. youâve got these beige sunglasses on too so he could barely make out your facial features. but holy fuck, you were beautiful.
you paused, looking around at the sand though you didnât glance up and over where he sat. you were truly in your own world, laying down your towel, then plopping down on it.
he could only see your side profile now. the slope of your nose, pout of your lips. you looked out to the sea for a moment, inhaling. bakugou studied how you threw your arms up to the sky, stretching your sides left and right before laying back onto your towel and opening your book. you look like you were made for this scene, like there was no way in a place as luxurious as this, someone like you had to exist here too. the sun rays beat down purposefully, the sea only brushed your toes unless you wanted. everything here lived for you. he can imagine himself doing the same.
bakugou grunts. he could only imagine his best friend kirishima in his ear going, âguess, you wonât be bored anymore!â with a stupid grin and a push of encouragement to talk to you.
but he wonât. he shouldnât. he could.
bakugou hopped off the wall, beginning his self guided tour around the island.
happy motherâs day to that mom who sold y/n to one direction
the consequences of constellations izuku midoriya ââ ᥣđŠ Ë Ě𩰠!!
âËá° about ! youâre in love with your best friend and youâre sleeping with him too⌠so you count the constellation-like freckles on his back to cope with the idea that he doesnât love you in the same way. ( 2K )
warnings ! minors blank and ageless blogs do not interact. nsfw, suggestive, smut, angst. characters aged up to 20s, friends with benefits, unrequited love, mutual pining sorta, experimental piece, i wanted to play around with metaphors to do with space, fem!reader, pro hero!deku.


how do you always end up back here?
the answer remains a mystery to you, really. out of all the things that human-kind are capable of, their powers and prettiness, their strength and their stamina â even their knowledge used to invent the space shuttle that traverses the wonders of the uncharted starry abyssâŚand you still end up here.Â
you always end up in the same place â amongst the crumpled linen of pro hero dekuâs one bedroom condo. itâs high up enough that it just touches the skyline, it dips past the surface of powder blue skies into the inky black canvas of night to which you find yourself falling victim to sinful touches and muted whispers of pleasure.
itâs the same every time; izuku calls and you answer without hesitation â come rain or shine. youâll often tumble past the threshold of his apartment with regret and pain pushed to the back of your mind because youâd much rather kiss him and taste the cigarette ash on his tongue in the moment than think logically or have some sense about you. in your world, thereâs no better feeling in the world than dekuâs masterful, scarred hands spanning out against the base of hour spine or napping out your curves. nothing beats the euphoric high you get from his hips smacking against yours almost in tune with the beat of his heart.Â
he pulls you into his orbit. he places himself at the centre of your universe. he fills you up both physically and mentally to the point where every inch of your body and every corner of your heart is overcome with a scorching need for izuku midoriya, like youâve been engulfed by the sun, it tingles at the tips of your toes and fingers to the top of your head. when he moans your name after every orgasm you share together desire lights up within you like a solar flare â you feel special, desired and maybe even loved.
but this is just sex.
itâs always been just sex, especially to izuku.
thereâs a risk in allowing yourself to believe it could ever be anything more, and yet, you canât stop yourself from indulging in this sweet fantasy every time you end up tangled in the pro heroâs expensive sheets. how could you not when he fucks you like youâre the only woman heâs ever loved.Â
playing pretend in your head while he sends shooting stars of ecstasy across your line of sight.
shame and regret always hits you like a truck right after â forcing you to deal with the derailing reality that is loving someone who doesnât want you back and sleeping with them just to get close enough to that feeling of adoration. itâs bad in the morning, but worse at night after deku has cleaned you up with a tender touch and tucked you in for some sleep â rolled onto his side as his own breathing evens out and his consciousness floats away into the depths of deep, empty space.Â
you think that heâs still sleeping when the constellations of honey brown freckles on his back begin to blur and your vision swims from unshed tears and you curl in on yourself. claw marks and crescent moons from your perfectly trimmed nails have left their mark on his golden skin, etched between sun-spotted freckles and a collection of faded battle scars â if you look close enough, one might mistake the surface level wounds youâve left on dekuâs body as an attempt at scratching through the space-time continuum to be closer to him.Â
izuku stays awake, hoping that youâll find the strength to get up and leave him so that he doesnât have to turn around and pretend to love you again. though, thereâs a selfish wish rooted in the back of his mind, longing for you to stay. for you to play make believe for a little longer, to wish upon the North Star and beg for some kind of grace from god â hoping that izuku midoriya will love you some way, somehow.Â
heâll fake it for as long as he can, if it means being the only person to touch you and hold you and kiss you. heâll pretend to rip every star in the sky for you and breathe false affection past your lips with every kiss if it means he can replace the pain in your lungs and help you breathe a little easier. because in his own twisted way, izuku cares about your feelingsâŚat least to some degree. heâd rather pretend than end things right here, right now. maybe thatâs his saviour complex and his instinctual, dire need to save people who doesnât need saving.Â
maybe itâs because this little arrangement has gone on for far too long, to the point where he canât tell what hurts you or what doesnât.
when the bulking pro hero shifts beneath the linen sheets, you hand bolts out to grab him â and, as if youâre protecting the embers of a dying flame, a fading star between your fingers, you pull him back into your chest. grasping onto him, holding out for something. youâre afraid that if you let go, izuku will disappear into spaceâs abyss and you might never get to have him like this again. another selfish wish. this time from you, not from him.Â
donât go. you want to tell him. donât fizzle away. you want to say. you know that itâs wrong to want to keep someone you canât, who wonât love you, around. itâs testament to how much respect you have for yourself, how much self worth you have. which, from the looks of it, is little to none. you feel like you might die without izuku, even if what you have of him is so little. a plant with a crane its neck reaching for even the tiniest bit of sunlight to grow⌠thatâs how you feel about izukuâsâŚaffections for you. even if itâs not real love, you still yearn for it and blossom underneath it. even if you should let him go because you love him, you donât want to.
out of fear that he may not come back.Â
when izuku says your name, whispers it into the black hole of the night â he treats it as if itâs made of gold. the syllables heavy on his tongue, weighing it down with a force of gravity. âare you awake?â he adds, despite feeling the shake of your limbs behind him from crying. he speaks slow and tender, the gravel of the early morning still in his voice.Â
your breath hitches warmly against his bare back like a mist over his sun spotted freckles. âno.â a dishonest answer that would have given you away instantly had the evergreen haired hero not already been up and listening to you cry. you sound strained, stuffy and he knows your pretty eyes are probably a putrid red and that thereâs snot stains left in tracks on his satin sheets. and maybe, if he loved you like he should â this wouldnât have happened, he wouldnât feel so much guilt to the point where he feels sick to his stomach.
loving you is dangerous territory, like a trip to the uncharted parts of deep dark space. the concept alone is terrifying enough to send icy blood through izuku midoriyaâs veins where heâs usually so hopeful and fearless. if he lets himself, for even a second, fall in love with you â there would be a chance your life would change for the worse, a chance that you wouldnât be able to bare the long nights without him or the weeks where heâs gone. you hardly see deku now, how would you cope when heâs finally yours but too far away from you to touch. you could be in the same bed and he would still be light years away, galaxies ahead of your own train of thought because he is constantly thinking of who and how to save next.
not to mention the very fact that his existence is a threat to your livelihood, with villains lurking around every corner just waiting for a chance to make the number one weakâŚ
âŚloving izuku midoriya would be like standing still in the middle of a hurricane on jupiter.Â
no one would be able to withstand the largest storm in the universe, not even you, and the strength you find in loving izuku.Â
still, youâre a liar and izuku knows it. even if heâs not supposed to. the bed creaks beneath his weight as he rolls over to face you, freckled cheek sinking into the cotton hills on his pillows as he finally sets his emerald sights on you. âyou must be dreaming then,â he laughs fondly through his nose when he speaks, bringing a thumb up from underneath the duvet to swipe away your drying tears. the ones you tried so desperately to hide. water doesnât fall in out space, it drifts endlessly and becomes a liquid with no form. izuku wishes you werenât crying over him.Â
shrugging, you lean into the manâs touch, letting deku cup your cheeks and trace your smile lines that donât seem so smiley anymore. the early morning moonlight ( the sun has yet to rise ), illuminates the stars in his mossy eyes that practically plead for you to let go, and your heart lurches painfully. he feels sorry for you. âi hope so.â comes your tired whisper. embarrassed and heartbroken, you look away and tuck your face under the duvet â chin brushing your naked shoulders, skin bare and bitten and bruised from the night before. âif i am, i donât want to wake up.âÂ
âwhat happens in your dreams?â capturing your chin between his fingers, izuku tilts your gaze over to him â inquisitive, cautious as if youâre an alien life form and heâs trying his best not to scare you away. he doesnât quite understand you, why you keep returning to him , only to find yourself naked, vulnerable and heartbroken the next day.Â
âyou love me back, i think. weâre more than what we are right now.â
bitter selfishness tacks itself to the back of your throat like bile â you know that youâre being unkind and greedy to izuku by voicing your thoughts out loud, begging him for even the tiniest slither of love but whatâs worse is the lack of compassion for yourself. the endless torture you inflict on your being just waiting for the number one hero to maybe love you back.Â
in away, it makes you deserving of one another. whatever it is that the two of you have is no healthier than a pack of cheap cigarettes from the combini at the top of the road. a nicotine addiction that neither of you seem to be able to quit. humming into the moonlit void, deku brushes a thumb over your streaked, pudgy cheek â tracing the tear stains and the tracks left by the lines in the pillowcase.Â
his eyes shimmer like the Milky Way on a clear night as he looks at you, strands of longing twisting within the vibrant green flecks in midoriyaâs eyes. it must be lonely for him out there â heâs in another universe of his own and you can hardly compare to or comprehend it. âare you still dreaming?â he asks.
reaching up, you grab his wrist from underneath the covers â feeling his pulse beat steadily underneath the pad of your thumb. âi hope so.â you repeat your words from earlier, lashes fluttering against your cheeks â heart pounding.Â
âthen iâll love you how you like,â midoriya agrees, masking his sadness with his signature hero smile. the one he uses to let the people he saves know that everything will be okay. even when itâs not. izuku treats you like a damsel in distress and maybe you are. you need saving from yourself, from him and he knows it. you both do. âat least until you wake up.âÂ
nodding, you close your eyes and lock off the rest of your senses â listening to only the sounds your steady breathing mingling in your own personal pocket of space. time freezes for the two of you, you donât know how many light years itâs been before you speak again â but izukuâs warmth is still there, still enveloping you like the brilliant rays of the sun at the centre of your universe. he doesnât dare cast you out into the icy cold of space. not yet.
âthen iâll try to keep dreaming, iâm not ready to wake up just yet.â comes your quiet voice as you lean forward to press your forehead against izukuâs freckled one.
not yet.
he exhales, deep and sad, but cups your face a little tighter and draws you in a little closer. âme either, not yet.âÂ
not yet. together, wrapped up in one another, the two of you decide that you'll stay lost in the web of constellations for a little bit longer.Â
not yet.


ę°Â end. â all rights reserved Š tteokdoroki 2024. do not copy, repost, translate, feed into ai & recommend elsewhere.


corset from ziwu artemis ŕ¨ŕ§
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