Kink Negotiation Is So Sexy Fr

kink negotiation is so sexy fr

undertow - p.sh, k.ys, s.mg 18+

- rating: m/18+ - pairing: seonghwa x reader, yeosang x reader, mingi x reader - genre: pwp, smut - summary: undertow. a new and budding sex club that your best friend wooyoung somehow dragged you out to. what you find there - well, more accurately the people you find there - manage to show you exactly what all the hype is about. - wc: 14.1k - warnings: warnings: explicit smut, watersports, spanking, kink negotiation, choking, degradation, dirty talk, praise, oral sex: m, throatfucking, deepthroating, anal, anal fingering, double penetration, creampie, a bit of breeding/impregnation kink if u squint, sir/daddy kink, dom/sub themes, a bit of voyeurism and exhibitionism, seonghwa has a cane, and he uses it, to spank, verbal consent is ~sexy~, so is protected sex but not in this fic sorry besties 👻 - pre-a/n: happy birthday to one of the best people in my life one of my faves one of my role models, inspirations, besties, ratties, my dearest cherry pickle wee duckie stab grr bark bark (father) atlas @nomseok​​ i love u so so much i think u should know how much i love u just based on the fact that i wrote a watersports fic just bc of u. i promised u i would do it as a joke but then i actually wrote it so hahaha jokes on me i really wrote a watersports fic im never living this down bye i love u or whatever ((also the section breaks are cherries i hope u remember that rat it’s a permanent reminder that i love u))

.🍒🍒🍒.

“So.”

“No,” you answer before Wooyoung can even have a chance to finish the thought. Your friend scoffs a loud and echoing sound that no doubt bothers the other students in the library. It most definitely does, actually, because you can see a person glaring holes into the side of Wooyoung’s head out the corner of your eye.

“You didn’t even wait for me to finish!”

“I didn’t need to. Sit down and be quiet, Woo, people are trying to get stuff done here,” you mumble, gesturing vaguely to the empty seat across from you. Wooyoung lets his lips fall into a pout but does as told regardless and slips into the space only to lean over your textbook a second later. “Unless you’re going to do this statistics homework for me, please remove your elbow from my page.”

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i think i might be masochistic with how i continued to read this fic, all while knowing there was no way it could end well. love it.

Stained Glass [ pt. 2 ]

pairing : choi san x gn!reader

mafia!au , soulmate!au , angst , hurt / minimal comfort

warnings : language , depictions of blood and open wounds , mentions of poison , mentions of general violence , mentions of needles , major character death

word count : 5.6 k

requested ? no

a/n : sorry , sorry , sorry , sorry , i promise i have some fluff in the works to make up for this ( p.s. if you wanna cry like i did while writing this , i seriously suggest listening to “something in the orange” by zach bryan )

[ part 1 ]

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kissing normally ❌❌❌ accidentally kissing while passing a hairpin from mouth to mouth, while attempting to escape your captors✅✅✅

Better

Kang Yeosang x reader

enemies to lover au

word count: 9.4?k

genre and warnings: angst, suggestive, violence

synopsis: ateez au in which kang yeosang and you are sworn enemies belonging to rival gangs until you both are at the mercy of a common enemy and have to work together, discovering those strong feelings you had for each other might not be hate.

Seconds. Minutes. Hours.

Days. Months. Years?

You had no idea how much time had passed, but you finally opened your eyes and saw light- the door to your cell opened and a tall figure stood with another figure which was now pushed roughly to the concrete floor, hands cuffed, a groan of pain escaping them.

You squinted your eyes, the world a blur as you tried to make what you could see of their face- who was it this time?

The figure finally got up on its knees and sighed, having sit back, their shoes brushing against your feet, and you wished it was day so the sunlight would have revealed the identity of the figure.

"Are you... okay?" You managed to say, your throat parched. In this pitch dark, you couldn't make out anything, and you were glad, because you weren't sure the figure in front of you would like the sight of you-

"You sound strangely familiar," the voice said- clearly a man, and very, very familiar to you too.

In fact, you recognized him instantly.

Kang Yeosang.

But it couldn't be. What was Kang Yeosang, basically the right hand to his boss doing in your cell?

But then, what were you, also your own boss' most trustworthy employee and his assassin doing in this cell?

"I'm sure you don't know me," you scoffed internally at the irony of the situation. Kang Yeosang, your worst nightmare and enemy, now in front of you. You should take this chance and kill him, except you were tied to the post as well, and you were in no condition to move.

"I'm sure I do, actually," you could hear the haughtiness in his voice which indicated that yes, he recognized your voice too. You suddenly regretted the pointless verbal arguments and fights you've had with him over the years which had left your voices printed in each other's memories- as well as habits, such as-

"Fancy seeing you here."

- how to make you angry instantly.

But it went both ways.

"Miss me too much, Yeosang?" You laughed sarcastically, "Can't spend three days without seeing me?"

As a matter of fact, he was used to seeing you, and you him. You both worked for the top drug dealers- rivals though sometimes business partners. And nothing was dramatic about it save for the fact that you and Yeosang hadn't hit it off very well and had infamously become sworn enemies, both of you bent on driving the other to the edge.

"How many days do you think have passed?" Yeosang asked, genuinely worried because you thought it had only been three days. And you dreaded answering because you weren't sure you would like what you had to hear.

"Don't tell me," panic laced your voice, and in that moment, an understanding passed between you two- and both of you were glad the other couldn't see your face.

"How did you even get here?" You asked, "I didn't think you could slip. Losing your touch already?"

"Well, you wouldn't believe it," Yeosang's voice was low, "But it's a deal between our gangs gone wrong. I came to save you."

"Ha," you scoffed loudly, "As if."

"I'm not lying," Yeosang simply said, "You've been missing for 3 weeks now. We were working together after all, even though I hated the idea of it from the beginning. And when you got taken, your boss might have... lost it a bit."

Though you did feel as if a bucket of water had been dumped on you because 3 weeks? but you had to scoff at the mention of your boss.

"As if he cares."

The bitterness with which you spat those words had Yeosang raising his brows. His own boss, Hongjoong, was like a friend to Yeosang, so he couldn't imagine why you were so bitter. Were you not close to your boss?

"He does, I guess, because he chose me to get you. Though now that I'm here... I think it was a wrong decision. Maybe I should just get out of here alone..."

"Did he really send you?" You had to ask, "I can't imagine why- oh."

You had almost forgotten about it, and you loudly cursed as you realized just why your boss cared so much about getting you back-

You had the key.

The key to all his wealth that he had slipped in your hand when you both had found yourself at your enemy's den, the small key that you had hid in your shoe first, occasionally changing its spot according to the situation.

"Oh?" Yeosang echoed, "Must be a big reason."

"Oh you have no idea," you had to laugh, "You have no idea."

Silence fell as you thought about the whole situation, finally breaking it as you said, "Think about it- my boss sent his rival's right hand- basically an enemy- to retrieve me. Now what value would a person like me have? Why did he not send one of his cronies?"

"Ah," Yeosang said, "You either have or know something that's valuable to him, and he can't let you die right now."

"Bingo," you said, "And now that I have the chance, I would die before letting him have it."

Yeosang was shaken at your words- just what had you gone through these past three weeks? And what fate awaited him?

"What's happened to you?"

"Worry about yourself," you sighed, "you're gonna regret making a deal with my boss real soon."

And regret he did, to some extent.

He blamed himself for getting caught and being put in this tiny cell. As daylight poured and woke him up from his sleep, he looked at you and his heart sank dangerously at the sight of you-

Your button up shirt was okay from the front, but tattered at the back, hanging only from the sleeves, covering your front- but your back had to be bare and he couldn't see it. Your hair was matted to your face and neck and fell down messily, and your face-

So pale. Void of colour. Your cheekbones were protruding rather sharply, and Yeosang had to commend you because you were still hanging on to life even though you looked as good as dead.

You were one stubborn soul, after all.

"Like what you see?" A voice boomed and Yeosang's head whipped to the source- one of the men who had caught him watching you from the window.

Yeosang didn't dare reply as he unlocked the door and arrived with a tray of food- rather good treatment seeing the food consisted of rice and chicken and put it in front of Yeosang, injecting a drug in him- the same drug they had used to catch both him and you- rendering him weak enough to not fight back but not weak enough to not eat his own food.

"Eat," he ordered, "Boss has asked for special treatment for you- maybe your boss is good to you, after all. He's trying to strike a deal to get you out unharmed. As for her-"

The man looked at you and you grinned at him, infuriating him (because why not?) and he went out for a moment, coming with a bowl of soup only, pushing it on your lips and forcing you to drink, drops of it dripping down and your tongue burned because it was too hot but you couldn't retort- you had to eat whatever they gave or else you'd starve.

But Yeosang there had lost his appetite at the sight of this- why wasn't your boss trying anything to get you out, he wondered? Especially when you supposedly had something he wanted? Was he scared the enemy would figure out? Or was he just a coward, hoping you'd die with the item in question?

Why were these people keeping you alive then?

Just what had you caught yourself into?

Yeosang took a chicken leg and hid it behind him, his hands shaking from the effects of the drugs, eating the rest as the man watched him the whole time, saying he'd be back in an hour so they could go to relieve themselves.

As the man shut the cell and went away, Yeosang waited for a good five minutes before calling your name and grabbing your attention.

"Just what have you caught yourself into?"

"Forget that," you said, your eyes bright as you worked out a plan, "Can you get me out of here? Or will you go alone?"

"Of course I will get you out," Yeosang said, and you raised your brow at the quick response- it didn't sound right coming from his mouth, since you two, in normal circumstances, would have done anything to get the other in trouble. And Yeosang understood, rolling his eyes, "They're basically torturing you here. And even though we're... enemies, as everyone likes to call us... I wouldn't wish this sort of a treatment on anyone."

"Not even me?" You smiled.

"Not even you."

You were impressed- he had principles, after all.

"Okay, here's the plan. When that scumbag comes back and takes us, you need to somehow get close to the man and take one of his hairpins out- keep it hidden. Don't reveal it until we're back and I say so- you'll be tied and so will I, but you need to give me the pin before you get out, Yeosang, you hear me? From the looks of it, your boss is gonna get you out by tomorrow night. Can you do this for me?"

Yeosang nodded, figuring he could do that for you, but still surprised at how you believed you were doomed if not for him.

And he really couldn't stand how tired you looked- as if you had given up altogether. Your hands tied up made it difficult for you to sit in a position other than being on your knees- and it was brutal. And about your back-

He had a glimpse, and he wasn't sure he wanted to see what damage they had done.

So one hour later when the man came and drugged the two again, waiting for a minute before uncuffing the two and dragging you both rather easily to the toilet, Yeosang went in first. When he came out and you tried going in, Yeosang purposely bumped into the man, rather swiftly turning and apologizing to nobody in general, the man groaning in warning.

Tied back at their usual spots, you looked at him, worry lacing your eyes. "Tell me you did it."

Yeosang stuck out his tongue and you laughed in disbelief- he had done it, the hairpin right in the middle of his tongue, of all the goddamn places. "I can't uncuff myself, or you," Yeosang said, his hands tied behind him, "But you... you can."

"I can," you admitted, "after the effects of the drug wears off."

"And you know I'll get out on my own, but will you... uncuff me too?"

"Well," you sighed, "We may have a problem- I can't exactly fight on my own anymore. I may have a broken something and my back hurts like hell. You're pretty fresh, so if you're up for it..."

"And what do I get out of it?" Yeosang smirked, and you rolled your eyes because this wasn't the time to get playful.

"What do you want?"

"What do I want... interesting."

"Yeosang, we don't have all day, and if you come up with something disgustingly evil I'll personally end you after we get out of here."

"Nothing... for now," Yeosang announced, "But you owe me one after this."

"Done. Now hand it over."

Yeosang smirked as he slid closer to you, the chains on his cuff preventing him from getting too close but it was enough- he stretched until his face was near you, and you brought your face closer too, rolling your eyes at the devilish smirk as he pushed the pin out of his mouth, holding it at the tip from his teeth, and you caught the pin from the other end, your lips slightly brushing with his, a sigh of relief escaping you as you drew back, because the key of freedom was now in your mouth.

Yeosang drew back and watched as you pushed yourself up with excruciating effort, working your mouth expertly and uncuffing yourself in a minute, falling to your knees in a very abrupt motion and almost crying in relief-

But Yeosang's breath stuck in his throat, because your back-

Your back was littered with scars- and the worst thing was that only a few of them were new.

"Who did this to you?"

Yeosang's voice was grim, and you looked up to see his gaze fixed at your back.

"That scumbag, of course-"

"Not those scars," Yeosang shook his head, "The others."

You bit your lips, having completely forgotten about the long scars that decorated your back. "Nothing you need to know."

You wobbled behind Yeosang, uncuffing him and almost falling down, Yeosang holding you up, making you lean at his side and use him for support. He brought the chicken leg in front of you, making you laugh and shake your head as you took it rather gladly, eating it and oh, you haven't had something normal in weeks now.

You didn't notice how Yeosang was absently tucking your hair behind- you were too busy eating. And when he took off his own outer shirt and wrapped it around you, it was only then you noticed his gaze that made you flush because of a number of reasons-

First- the gesture itself. All your lives you had hated each other just for the sake of it, and this... this was making you wonder why you both ever got stuck in that meaningless cycle of hate.

And second- he was extremely buff, his biceps now visible in the black half sleeved shirt he was left with. His streaked hair contrasted rather well with it, and you had to stop your eyes from roaming all around him, praying he hadn't noticed.

"So," Yeosang's deep voice broke you out of your trance, "What's the plan?"

--------------

The two of you pretended to be chained for the remainder of the evening, waiting for the time when the man would come for interrogation- it was a fixed time of the day, you had noted. So anyone who peeked in out of curiosity would find you both chained well, but right before the man arrived, Yeosang stationed himself next to the door, punching the man once and knocking him out instantly.

"Wow," you breathed, "Forgot for a second you were strong."

"Forgot?" Yeosang huffed, "Do you not remember the time I knocked you out with just a-"

"Let's not dwell on the past," You weakly got up, "Chain him like he did me."

Yeosang understood, chaining him just like you had been for the past weeks, taking all his weapons, handing two daggers to you and keeping one and a gun for himself. He finally looked at you, thinking.

"Can you run?"

Which was how you both found yourselves running for your lives, you gathering all your energy to fight close range while Yeosang covered you with the gun, encountering a good five men before Yeosang jumped out of the first floor window to the truck, promising to catch you and urging you to jump instantly.

And he didn't let you down; he caught you rather carefully, as if afraid to hurt you further, grabbing your hand and jumping down, running further down the alley, taking two turns and you stopped him abruptly, pointing at the narrow alley where a couple were making out rather heatedly, and Yeosang understood, dragging you in the alley, grabbing the fur jacket on the bike of the couple and wearing it over himself, turning and embracing you in what would look like a make-out session to anyone passing by-

Except it was his forehead on yours, noses brushing, his hands in your hair, your arms automatically going around his waist for support as he bent you back a bit.

You were suddenly conscious of how you hadn't washed in days- one of the people in that building, a woman, had attended to your scars about three days ago and had washed you as best as she could, saying the boss didn't like his captives dirty when he came during interrogations.

But this should be the last of your concerns right now-

"They're gone?" Yeosang whispered, his breath warm against your skin, the statement coming out more like a question- not what he had intended. But his heart was beating like crazy and it was a surprise his voice hadn't cracked-

"I think so," you whispered back, eyes meeting his-

And that was a mistake.

Because his eyes locked back, and you couldn't pull away from his gaze, having noticed for the first time just how light his eyes were-

"That's my jacket!"

Yeosang rolled his eyes, taking it off and apologizing, saying he was hiding from his friends. Thankfully, the man didn't argue further, and Yeosang grabbed your hand, walking to the next street and getting into a convenience store, your eyes scanning your surroundings for any signs of the enemy.

Yeosang used the phone to contact one of his friends while you waited, wrapping Yeosang's shirt tighter around yourself since it was a bit chilly. Yeosang came back with two bowls of ramen, preparing them and waiting for it to be cooked.

"You've got nowhere to go, do you?"

You pursed your lips, "Boss... he'll kill me once he finds me and gets what he needs."

"Why?"

"Because he'll never believe I kept his secret to myself and did not betray him," your lips quivered, "Because... because I kept the secret to myself after going through everything-"

You didn't know whether it was the relief of escaping alive or the thought of death at your doorstep, or simply the fact that your boss, that bastard would never believe you didn't sell him out- but you were suddenly crying, and you hid your face, turning away from Yeosang as you sobbed, trying to stop but you held it in too long-

Yeosang said your name, which just made you cry harder, telling him between hiccups that you didn't know why you were crying, but he understood. He only rubbed your shoulders as you sniffed, cursing yourself because you were crying in front of Yeosang, of all the people, which could also be the reason why you were crying harder.

"Come with me," Yeosang simply said, turning you to face him, "We'll figure something out. For now, come with me."

"Yeosang," you shook your head, "my boss will go at war with your gang if he knows you guys have me. And he will know, because those men we just escaped from? They're gonna tell him that you, Kang bloody Yeosang, helped me escape. So just drop me off at the port or something- no need to involve yourself-"

"Oh, the ramen's getting soggy," Yeosang, completely ignoring you, handed you chopsticks and blew at his noodles, wowing at how good it tasted, urging you to eat. And you did- because he clearly wasn't ready to have this conversation.

Just as you finished eating, a car stopped in front of the store and Yeosang motioned for you to follow him. Unsure, you did- ironically, he was the only one you could trust right now.

"Why am I even following you when we hate each other," you muttered, and Yeosang scoffed.

"Why am I even inviting you, huh? Get in," he held the door open for you and you sat at the backseat, Yeosang going in the front and when the driver turned to get a look at you-

"You!"

You were going to escape- you weren't sure you would survive the ride to wherever the destination was when the driver was none other than Wooyoung.

"Oh how the tables have turned!" He laughed, Yeosang slapping his arms and looking apologetically at you, as if saying that yes, this was his only option and he's sorry.

"She's been a captive for 3 weeks, can you tone it down a bit?" Yeosang glared at Wooyoung who couldn't stop grinning as he drove.

"Almost didn't recognize you, you poor thing," Wooyoung looked at you from the rear-view mirror and you just stared out of the window, "Did they not feed you there?"

You and Wooyoung were actually on friendlier terms than you and Yeosang had ever been, which came as quite a surprise to everyone who learned that, since Yeosang and Wooyoung went quite a way back and well... Wooyoung was friends with basically everyone. He was someone you warmed up to instantly. And though you weren't his 'friend', you could easily have been because you had never found it difficult to have a simple chat with him whenever they met up for business- or as rivals, in a fight.

"They did not, actually, if you can't tell from my face," you retorted, Wooyoung ooh-ing at your response, noticing that you were very angry right now.

"What do you wanna eat? Come on, I still owe you a meal, don't I? Or was it the other way round?"

It was the other way round, but you weren't going to admit it. "You do. And I would like some coffee and anything with sugar very, very much."

Which was how you ended up in Yeosang's room, wide awake with coffee in your system, digging into the brownies as Yeosang and Wooyoung examined your back, allowing Wooyoung only because apparently he was 'good at this'.

As for Yeosang... he had already seen it.

"I would ask about the old scars, but I feel like it's not my place," Wooyoung bit his lips, meeting Yeosang's gaze and Yeosang nodded, the both of them strangely feeling angered at the sight of her torn back, but you- you were trying to distract yourself.

"Gosh, I could eat the whole box," you muttered as you took a third brownie, and Yeosang shook his head at you, but he was internally pleased to see you eat.

"You'll end up throwing up if you eat too much," Wooyoung warned, "Take the box away, Yeosang."

"No!" You wailed, trying to get up but Yeosang was quicker, the brownies out of reach now. Grumpily, you nibbled at the one in your hand.

"I have to go," Wooyoung read a text from his phone and announced, "Business calls. Yeosang, patch up the wound- you can wash up if you want to first."

"Oh I do," you got up, finishing the brownie, "You better have a good fucking shampoo, Yeosang."

After a very long shower, your back literally burning as you stifled your screams, the shampoo residue stinging the still open wounds, you wrapped yourself in the bathrobe, coming out to get your wounds treated.

Yeosang cleared his throat, realizing that you'd be quite naked as he tended to your back. But all thoughts left him when he beheld your now red wounds.

"Maybe you shouldn't have showered..."

"Please, I felt filthy," you muttered, "Just get it over with."

Yeosang applied ointment to your wounds, his hands gentle, then taped bandages, and before he knew, he was running his finger across an old scar-

And you noticed.

"Who did this to you?"

His voice barely came out as a whisper, and you just ignored the question, asking for clothes. Yeosang handed you new clothes which included a soft button up shirt, trousers and even undergarments, and you eyes him suspiciously.

"Got these at the store," Yeosang simply said, and you realized he had planned all this before hand. Thanking him, you ditched the bra- it would only hurt your wounds and you wore the rest. Coming out of the bathroom, you stood awkwardly, and Yeosang motioned at the chair next to him, where he had been sitting and gazing out at the sky.

You turned on the dim lamp and turned off all other lights before you joined him, and he offered you water, which you gladly took.

"My boss... you know he practically raised me, right?"

Yeosang hadn't expected you to chat with him so he was caught off-guard, but he shook his head yes.

"Well... let's just say he didn't quite know how to tame me."

Yeosang was about to speak but then he realized what you were talking about-

The scars.

"You know nothing justifies what he did to you."

"I know," you sighed, "I know."

"And now... the fact that he'll kill you the first chance he gets-" Yeosang let out a frustrated sigh as he ran his hands through his hair.

"I still have to go-"

"Don't," Yeosang practically begged, surprising you with the desperation that laced his voice, "Don't go back."

"Yeosang-"

"No," he took your hand, surprising you yet again, your heart picking pace, "You don't need to go back, okay? He will find out that you're here and he'll come after us anyway, even if we let you go... but we got you, okay? I got your back. So trust me, and don't go."

You scanned his face- there was no hint of mischief in his eyes anymore, in fact it was worry that you saw. And you were conflicted- in any other situation, you would have known this was a simple prank- something you both often did; making bold confessions out of nowhere just to rile the other person up, but this...

You looked down at the hand that held yours, caressing it absently. And you knew there was nothing but truth here.

"If you insist," you scoffed, "What's got you all chummy, Kang Yeosang?"

Yeosang laughed shyly- shyly? You hadn't expected this either.

"You know what," Yeosang got up, helping you up and taking you to one of the single beds in the room, "We don't have to fight anymore. Why did we fight anyway? Let's be friends instead."

"Now where would the fun in that be?" You retorted, and Yeosang clapped.

"I was going to make fun of you if you were going to say yes," Yeosang smirked, and you realized some of this was a prank after all. You couldn't figure him out. "Get some sleep. It's gonna be a big day tomorrow."

----------------------

"Bloody hell."

All it took was one look at your face for those words to escape Kim Hongjoong's mouth- the gang leader. And you knew you had to be looking horrible for him to lose his demeanor.

Truth be told, you hadn't taken one look in the mirror ever since you got back, and you weren't eager to as well. But you bit your lip as you looked at Yeosang, and he nodded in confirmation.

Bloody hell indeed.

"Tell me you're feeding her," Hongjoong slumped back, "You're all skin and bones."

"I can imagine," you took your seat in front of Hongjoong, only three of you in his office, "now, shall we?"

"So tell me," Hongjoong leaned forward, elbows on the table, "What do I get out of this?"

"Well," you cleared your throat, "I don't have any idea how valuable this key is," you picked it out from your shoe, waving it in the air, "but I am sure it is too valuable to lose. I'll have to see the contents to be sure."

"And you said it belongs to a safe, which is located..."

"We'll have to raid one of my boss' resorts, it seems."

It was Yeosang's idea- all night he had been thinking while you had slept comfortably for the first time- and you had been out for a good 26 hours, especially with the fever. You were force-fed medicines and you were finally able to walk without falling after two days.

So Yeosang had suggested that she join their gang- or stay on the run forever. You couldn't imagine joining their gang since the 8 of them were so closely knit, and you told him, but he was having none of it. Wooyoung came by, agreeing that it was a good idea- all of them already were familiar with you so it wouldn't be too awkward, plus, according to Wooyoung, 'this place needs a feminine touch'.

You could run away- but you knew the life ahead wouldn't be easy that way. You would always be cautious of every step you took and you'd have to look behind your back everywhere. Your boss wouldn't let you live peacefully, ever.

"Raiding is a specialty of ours," Hongjoong grinned, "And you have the key to access something so valuable to your boss that he couldn't risk getting out his most trustworthy employee."

"Correct," you nodded, "What do I get in return?"

"Welcome to the gang," Hongjoong announced, "You'll work with Yeosang and San- you're all assassins, so it shouldn't be a problem. However, you'll have to be faithful."

"Of course," you set your chin high, "I was faithful to my boss even in captivity, but it looks like he betrayed me. So yes, I can guarantee my loyalty as long as you guarantee yours."

Hongjoong scanned your face, slowly nodding, "I say we got ourselves quite a gem, eh Yeosang?"

Yeosang laughed, "Are we not enough for you Hongjoong?"

You were surprised at how casually Yeosang and Hongjoong could interact- with your boss, it had been all formalities and him practicing his authority on anyone and everyone, but this...

It felt warm, and you couldn't help but smile.

"We need to be quick with this operation," Hongjoong said, "We have planted a false trail indicating you ran away, but your former fellow employees will soon realize it's us you're with. How quick can you be?"

"Tonight," you said, nodding at Yeosang, "Let's do it tonight."

----------------

"Are you sure you can do this?" Yeosang asked for the fifth time, and you stopped in the middle of wearing your gear.

"Yeosang," you sighed, "What's got you so worried about me?"

Yeosang noticed the playfulness in your tone, "A number of things, actually. Apart from the fact that this could still be a trap that you're setting us up for, apart from the fact that you might possibly betray us tonight, I do think your physical health isn't so fit right now."

You jumped in the air, "I feel lighter, which means I'll be quicker."

Yeosang raised his brow, waiting for you to address the other problem in question. You counted your daggers and bullets, finally looking at him.

"I can't prove it with words, so you'll just have to see if I pass the test tonight."

"She does have a point," San said as he handed you a bulletproof vest and night vision glasses, "It's not like she'll tell you if she plans on betraying us."

"See," you smirked, "He knows. You're asking dumb questions, Yeosang."

"Well," Yeosang waited for San to leave before slowly stepping forward, until he was almost touching you, his figure towering over you and he glared at you.

"If any of my friends get hurt tonight because of you," Yeosang's voice was deep, making a shiver run down your spine, "I won't spare you."

"Well," you retorted, glaring back, standing on your tip toes, "If you hand me over to the very person who has tortured me all my life and who I finally have the chance to escape from... I'll never forgive you, Kang Yeosang."

Something flashed in Yeosang's eyes, but he only matched your glare, the two of you thinking, none of you moving.

"The tension between them is so obvious," Wooyoung muttered to San, the two of them giggling, and you just hmph-ed at Yeosang before turning away.

"Are we going or what?"

-------------------

"Are you sure this is the right place?"

"I have a good memory, Seonghwa," you tsk-ed at his question, "And when I tell you I saw a glimpse of the address to the resort he most frequently visits, it has to be this- or the one least frequently visited."

"Have you ever seen the safe?" Seonghwa asked, using his binoculars to count the number of men stationed outside, "I have to say, with the number of men stationed outside..."

"My boss is... a dumb man, actually," you admitted, and Seonghwa grinned because you both knew it was true, "He doesn't believe in the art of deception. He's straightforward like that- stationing 40 men outside a single resort? You'd think it was made of gold."

"How has no one robbed him till date?"

"Me," you flipped your hair and Yeosang, who was right next to you, scoffed, "Plus manpower. Simple and efficient."

"Right," Seonghwa slid down from the tree, motioning for everyone to gather for the plan.

"Alright, we have to get her inside since she won't just hand over the key to us," Seonghwa gave you a side-eye and you stuck your tongue out, "Our first priority is getting Yeosang and her inside, and we'll prevent any of those men entering the house."

"I'll distract them," Wooyoung said, winking once before acting like a drunken person, a bottle in his hand as he sang a song about illusions, slowly trailing to the path that led to the gate. Meanwhile, San went at the back, acting the same and you and Yeosang waited for the cue while Yunho and Seonghwa went to clear the path.

And a few moments later, when fire lit the sky, you and Yeosang jumped over the wall, swiftly running to the nearest window and getting down.

"I know where the alarms are, but there's no guarantee if boss replaced some after I got caught," you whispered, motioning for him to follow you, "The safe is actually in the basement, or so the rumours say."

"Let's get inside," Yeosang said, breaking the window with a rock and clearing the glass with his sleeve, entering first and making sure it was clear before allowing you to enter, and as soon as you did-

You jumped on Yeosang, landing on the floor, the bullet narrowly escaping his head, and in a quick motion your dagger went flying for the attacker's heart, rendering him immobile. Yeosang was breathless for a few moments before getting up.

"Watch your back," you said, taking the dagger out and sliding it back, letting the man bleed to death- you didn't look at his face, because you knew you'd recognize him- or anyone who dies tonight, as a matter of fact.

"Thanks," Yeosang breathed, and you led the way to the stairs, noticing two men stationed at the door of the single room in the basement.

"Now that's an upgrade too," you muttered, turning to look at Yeosang who was so close to you as he peeked over you that your face bumped on his shoulder, "Back off a bit, give me space to breathe."

Yeosang purposely got closer, almost making you lose your step and fall in front of the guards, and you slapped his arm as he stifled a giggle, "This is no time to play!"

"Oh? What time do we play then, pray tell?"

Ignoring him, you loaded your gun with tranquilizers, Yeosang doing the same, aiming to take the guards one on one since they had the element of surprise. Knocking them out in seconds and unarming them, you tried opening the door that was locked.

"Okay, hear me out," you said, raising your hands in surrender, "I have no idea what's inside. This could be a trap, we could find too much inside, I don't know what happens, okay?"

"Okay," Yeosang practically dismissed your statement, bending over to unlock the door with pins, and you sighed.

"I'm serious," you warned, "I'm not responsible for whatever happens."

Having unlocked the door, Yeosang sighed, putting his hands on your shoulders as he scanned your surprised face.

"I... I know. I know you can be trusted, just don't let me down on your part, will you?"

The dim lights were making Yeosang's facial structure seem like art- truly a sculpture. You gulped, nodding, and didn't miss the smirk as he took his hands off, nodding at you once and opening the door.

It was a simple room set like an office, but-

Another room.

"I'm betting 10 that there's an assassin who's not me or you in this room-"

Yeosang almost knocked the breath out of you as he whirled you at the side, meeting the said assassin's dagger with his own, the two engaging in close combat and it took you a few seconds to grasp the situation, taking a dagger in each hand and waiting for an opening-

But the two were blindingly quick and a grunt of pain escaped Yeosang as the dagger sliced his arm, and at the very moment when Yeosang's defense dropped and the assassin let loose-

You sent the dagger flying for the nape of his neck, grinning when it hit home.

"Go easy with the killings, will you?" Yeosang shook his head, examining his arm, "Who pissed you off tonight?"

"I can't believe my boss stationed a person here who is not me when I'm the one he's supposed to have been trusting the most."

Yeosang stared at you- your training had taught you to kill brutally and that was a fact known to everyone, and he realized you were your boss' right hand for a reason.

You were practically invincible, and oh, he never realized how hot you looked in your assassin gear.

"You done gawking?" You said, bending down to unlock the door you hoped was the last door tonight, and Yeosang shook his head as he grinned.

"The old you is back, it seems," he said, referring to your tone.

"That's still me, don't expect me to be all chummy with you-"

"Easy with this pin," Yeosang's hand slid over yours, guiding it to twist the pin in the door and you didn't hear the door unlock because all you could hear was Yeosang's breath near your ears.

He was getting to you, and both of you knew it.

As if on purpose, he slid his hand across your arm before withdrawing it away, opening the door before you could question his actions-

"That is one big ass safe."

You breathed- Yeosang was right. It was one big ass safe alright. You took out the key that you had safely taped to your bra, Yeosang watching with his mouth agape, and you both held your breath unconsciously when you put in the key, marveling at how it fit right in and turned it.

You opened the door to reveal a shitload of papers- documents, probably property documents and whatnot, but in the middle of it was another password protected safe.

"Should we just, I don't know, carry it with us?"

"Boss isn't that dumb," you let out a short laugh at Yeosang's question, motioning at the wire behind the locker, indicating it was either going to combust or activate an alarm if anything went wrong.

"Now what?" Yeosang said.

"First of all, now you know I can be trusted."

Yeosang scanned you. "For all I know, there's gonna be a 'got you' card inside."

You rolled your eyes, burning holes as you glared at the locker- as if your eyes could unlock them. "Now what could the password be?"

"Try 0000."

"Yeosang," you sighed, running a frustrated hand through your hair, "It must be a date- an important date to him."

Yeosang's phone vibrated, and he picked it up, his eyebrows furrowed in worry as he listened.

"They're largely outnumbered now," Yeosang said, "We have two minutes max. Think."

"I can't think right now," you groaned, clenching your hair, "There must be a number of possibilities. I can't go back without checking the locker, Yeosang, without taking what he has, he'll come and get me-"

"Hey, hey," Yeosang called your name, grabbing you by the arms and making you sit on a chair he dragged, rubbing your shoulders in comfort.

"You are a genius, you know that, right? You know you got a brain that works, right?"

You nodded, "Not working."

Yeosang shook his head at your words, watching your leg fidget and your hands tremble as time ran out, and you had to stand up because this was too much-

"Look at me," Yeosang said, and you turned, not expecting what happened next, which was Yeosang's hands cupping your face, tucking your hair aside gently, basically just...

Comfort touch. That's what it was.

"Relax," he whispered, "You'll be safe whether we get this or not. I won't let anything happen to you, you hear me?"

You couldn't really hear him, in fact, because your heart was pounding loudly because of the pressure and the situation you were in right now. Yeosang brought you closer, wrapping his arms around you, his hand caressing your head.

"Take a deep breath, with me, come on," he instructed, and you followed, your breaths syncing, "You've done so well. You've held on for so long, any one would have given in by now. But not you. You know why?"

Yeosang drew back, caressing your face.

"Because you're strong. You're the strongest person I know, you hear me?"

You knew it wasn't the time to cry, but you couldn't stop the tears that pricked your eyes, and Yeosang only smiled as he wiped your eyes, planting a lingering kiss on your forehead.

"You have 3 tries. We can try, or we can turn back. It's your choice."

"We have to try," you said, and Yeosang nodded.

"Do your best. I got you."

You were glad for the words and were convinced there was some magic to all this because suddenly your head was clear, and you stepped inside the safe, entering your boss' birthday-

The beep that sounded was awful.

"It's okay, go on," Yeosang rubbed your back gently, and you nodded, entering the date he became the leader of this gang-

Wrong.

"I don't know," you cried, but Yeosang only hugged you again, assuring you it didn't matter, and though you told him it could be dangerous, he only said they'd had enough time to take cover in case that happened.

You wracked your brain- what was so important to him that he'd use it as a password?

It felt like you were downed in ice as realization dawned upon you-

He had handed you the key.

He had always told people that you were his most important asset.

It had to be the date he met you for the first time.

You went down memory lane as you recalled the events of that time 15 years ago- when you had just been a child, freshly orphaned and left with what people presumed was your father's insurmountable wealth all passed down to you (but had been passed to charity, from what you knew)- but because your father had enemies, you had been running for your life until your boss- your father's friend- had found you and taken you in.

You were suddenly dreading what the locker held in.

Your fingers felt numb as you pressed the date and waited for that awful beep to sound- but the only sound you heard was Yeosang's gasp as the locker clicked open.

"You did it," Yeosang breathed, clapping.

"I did it," you laughed, looking at Yeosang, "I did it."

"Take whatever you want," Yeosang said, "No time to look, fill our bags and let's get away."

You nodded, Yeosang opening the bags and you filling it with the cash, the gold bars and some documents- you made sure the locker was as empty as new before you shut it, shutting the safe too and taking the key with you, Yunho joining you as soon as you exited the building, and you stopped for a second, burying the key beneath a random plant only you would remember.

You saw all the men knocked out on the way and you had to praise Seonghwa, Wooyoung, Yunho and San for so efficiently having done the job, only minor cuts and bruises as the damage. You didn't dare open the bags until you were back in the room with Yeosang, the rest giving you the space you needed because it was your right to see it first.

And yours alone- however Yeosang had tagged along casually, and you didn't mind.

"I can't believe this," you groaned, "In my enemy's room, with my boss' wealth at my feet."

"That sounds... interesting," Yeosang smirked, and you rolled your eyes, "I like it better when we're not at each other's throats."

"I don't," you said casually, but it looked like Yeosang had other plans as he slid behind you, drawing your hair at one side and whispering in your ear-

"How about being at each other's throats... like this?"

You had to squeeze your eyes shut at the feel of his breath on your skin as he breathed in, his nose tingling your neck-

"Yeosang-"

"Shh," he whispered, his arms wrapping around your waist, "I want you so bad."

You couldn't tell if this was him getting at you like he used to- back when things were normal. He'd do things like this to rile you up, and though you both would never admit it, it turned you both on in inexplainable ways. However, you were always confused as to what he wanted-

You turned around, grabbing Yeosang's hands before he could try anything, "Can you stop being a dick for two minutes?"

"You think I don't want you?" Yeosang raised his brow as he pulled you dangerously close, "You think I'm lying?"

"I wouldn't believe you, Kang Yeosang," you glared at him, "All you do is lie anyway."

"I've never lied about how I felt about you."

"And that's a lie too."

Yeosang groaned in frustration, "Why do you think I never made a move on you?"

You pursed your lips- was he actually serious about this?

"All this... flirting we did, as 'enemies'- and what a title for us when all I wanted was you this close to me," Yeosang sighed, and you couldn't believe what you were hearing, "I didn't want to get you in trouble with your boss- I knew he was an animal. I care about you, even though it might not seem like it. And now that I know what an absolute monster he's been to you..."

You watched Yeosang's brows furrow in a pained expression as he brought his hand to your face.

"I'm never going to let you go back."

You sighed, leaning into his touch, and that was all the confirmation he needed as he brought his face closer until your lips brushed-

And then he drew back.

"You might want to make sure nothing in there would change your mind," Yeosang's voice was hoarse, "I don't... I'm not doing this if you are going to go away."

Your knees were already weak and truth be told, you knew nothing in there would change your mind- you were never going back, not to him. You sighed, resting your head against Yeosang's chest as you calmed your breathing, not looking at him as you made your way to the bag which contained the documents.

You examined them one by one, Yeosang counting the cash and the gold in the meanwhile, and by the time you were done, you were crying rather hysterically.

"What's the matter?" Yeosang rubbed your back but you just slumped further down in the bed as you muffled your cries, muffled your screams. Yeosang held you as you cried, and between your sobs you managed to say some words-

Lies. Betrayal.

Your boss... he had never been that dumb, alright. He'd given 10 year old you the proof you needed- fake documents that said your father's wealth had been passed down to charity except a small amount for you, which wasn't enough in any way. However, the documents in your hands now said otherwise-

Your father, one of the wealthiest businessman of his time, had left all his wealth to his sole heir- you. He'd left nothing to his friend- your boss. Everything inside the locker, all the contents belonged to you alone- all legal money so you wouldn't get in trouble for it.

You cried for the life you could have had, for the pain of the scars you had on your back.

And Yeosang was fuming as he heard that, promising to teach your boss a lesson- and his tone said he was serious.

Sipping from the cup of coffee that Yeosang got for you, you finally calmed down, looking at the cash and the gold spread around you in sets.

"All of this... it's only yours."

"What am I gonna do, with all of this?"

"Anything you want," Yeosang's smile was genuine.

"Tell me one thing, Yeosang," you set your cup down, "Why do you like me?"

Yeosang sighed, smiling, "You got me good since the day we met. I did hate you at first, just like you must have hated me, but... somehow, I started looking forward to our interactions."

You smiled, shaking your head, making him laugh out loud- the laugh that had always been music to your ears.

"What am I going to do with you, Kang Yeosang?"

Yeosang couldn't take it anymore- he climbed on the bed, crawling forward until his lips met yours, and the sigh that escaped you said enough.

Finally.

Fucking finally.

Your arms immediately wrapped around his neck as he pushed you back, getting on top of you and kissing you, the kisses picking pace with every passing second, and he had to break apart when you groaned into the kiss.

"I wish I did this earlier," he couldn't breathe.

"Never too late," you smirked, and he brought his mouth back on yours, moving in unison, and you marveled at how they fit as if made for each other. One of his hands guided your face, holding at your neck, his thumb caressing your face while the other roamed around your waist, teasingly slow.

Yeosang broke the kiss, catching his breath as he took his time to memorize your face, his eyes roaming slowly around, taking in the curves and angles.

He caught you by surprise when he started peppering soft kisses all over your face- on your forehead, cheeks, nose, until you were a blushing mess and you couldn't take it anymore.

"You owe me one, remember?"

It took you a good moment to realize what he was talking about: when he had freed you from captivity.

You did owe him one.

You scanned his face, biting your lip. What was he thinking?

Before you could ask, he was kissing your jaw, travelling down your neck, satisfied grunts escaping both of you and you almost forgot what he had just said until he mumbled-

"I want you. So. Bad."

Your stomach sank dangerously at his words, and you just responded by fisting his shirt and connecting your mouths again, and Yeosang started unbuttoning your shirt and broke apart only to take off his own, going to attack your neck, wringing out moans from you as he teased your bare skin, his hands going lower and lower, stopping again as he scanned your eyes for any sign of discomfort, smiling when he found them dazed instead.

"You owe me one." He caressed your face so gently, as if it held something fragile, "Don't leave. Stay here, with me. That's what I want."

"I was going to tell you to keep it for later because I was going to stay anyway," you smirked, "too bad you've lost your opportunity-"

"I take it back," Yeosang laughed, kissing your forehead, "How come you've decided to stay?"

You took a deep breath, thinking how to word it and Yeosang lay down with you, "I've always admired how close knit the 8 of you are, and work like friends, without hierarchies, without pulling ranks. And the way you're willing to accept me, no questions asked... I'm overwhelmed, to be honest."

Yeosang smiled, tracing shapes on your waist, making you tickle slightly, "We're practically friends, the guys adored you anyway."

"You hated me!"

"Never," Yeosang shook his head, "I just needed a reason to talk to you and rile you up. You know how I love it when you frown at me or glare at me-"

You slapped Yeosang's hand, making him laugh out loud, "I hate you."

"Do you, now?"

"Anyways," you gulped, ignoring the devilish smirk on his face, "You have to let me do one thing."

Though Yeosang strongly rejected your idea, you only pushed forward, seeing it as a sort of investment, promising it wasn't a gift and you were getting something out of it too- though everyone thought it was too much to accept, especially Hongjoong. But you told them you weren't going to take the money to your grave-

And you had to take your property back from your boss.

The very lavish house he lived in that belonged to you- you had to take it back. He wasn't allowed to dwell there anymore. You were going to whip him like he did to you all those years, and if you felt merciful enough, you would give him the gift of death. And then you'd get your boys out of the old mansion they currently lived in, and make your house the new residence.

You didn't let yourself be distracted by anyone- especially Yeosang- as you planned the downfall of your previous gang, and when you stood outside your home, the 8 of them by your side, you kissed Yeosang and made him promise he wouldn't interfere and wouldn't risk his life, making everyone promise the same.

"Once night time comes," Yeosang growled in your ear, "I am gonna make you mine."

You practically melted right there- you wanted to tell him that he already owned you. But you only sighed, nodding.

He had you alright.

And he only proved it when it was the middle of the night, your bodies still sore from all the fighting, your minds relieved because you were now in your home, safe, and your boss was... well, dead, not before you made him sign a document that made you the sole heir to all his property and wealth as well. The men and women, his employees, either died fighting or surrendered- most of them had known you and hated their boss like you did.

It had been laughably easy.

And you could have said you were prepared for how the events turned out, but nothing could have prepared you for when you and Yeosang finally went in your room and he shut the door, practically slamming you against the wall as he kissed the living soul out of you.

And you knew it was gonna be a long, long night, especially with the both of you fighting for dominance, none of you giving in, clothes off in a hurried motion, slamming on basically every wall and furniture, marking each other's skin and making each other moan so loud you were positive everyone heard it.

And as you lay in bed, in Yeosang's embrace, you felt safe, for the first time in your life.

"I think I like us better when we're at each other's throats after all," you grinned, making Yeosang open one eye to see what you actually meant. And his smile told you he wasn't disappointed.

"I like us better like that too," Yeosang said, making you squeal as he attacked your neck with kisses and bites again.

yunho and yeosang doing the little sign of the cross move in halazia really DOES things to me, blasphemy kink unlocked (blame my 8 years of catholic school)

---

I’m gonna sparkle on this wednesday if it fucking kills me

aaaaand the answer is back to torment my every waking moment, but i wouldn't have it any other way. san being a sneaky little guy was honestly not on my bingo for this series, but we love our gaslight gatekeep girlbosses in this household. i feel like this chapter really brought up more questions than answers (hehe get it?) but I'm not mad about it. love it as always, and will try to not obsess about this fic for at least 1 hour a day to start.

THE ANSWER: XXV

Kim Hongjoong doesn’t like the word ‘cult.’ He prefers ‘sect.’ pairing: ateez x fem reader genre: cult au, thriller, angst check warnings on AO3

← previous || next → || masterlist chapter word count: 10,689

You had half expected for the entire farm to be torn apart by the time you woke up, but your morning proceeds exactly as it has for however long its been since you got here. Of course, you’re also extremely on edge the entire time, you can’t swallow a single bite of your breakfast (no matter how many times San offers you a bite of his), you convince yourself that Hongjoong is staring at you harder than normal, and the lights seem too bright and the people too loud. 

You just… keep waiting for the other shoe to drop. Surely they’ve realized that Haseul is gone by now, so why is no one acting like it? Realistically, its probably to keep people from panicking. If they sounded the alarms and started a manhunt, that wouldn’t look too good, especially when the cops show up.

There has never been a time in your life where you've been excited at the prospect of cops. Until you found yourself in this goddamned situation. Nothing could possibly be more satisfying to you than watching Hongjoong and Seonghwa get arrested, nothing better than testifying against them in a trial and watching them get put away for the rest of their earthly lives. 

There is the chance that San would be arrested too, though. Which would… be completely justified, but suck all the same. San has definitely been an accessory to murder, and at least willfully has covered up various murders and kidnappings… which is not cool. 

But how can you not look past those things when he’s pouting at you for not eating a single thing at breakfast? It’s not his fault that he’s here, right? That he was brainwashed and coerced into his role? You can’t blame him for acting for his survival. 

“You can’t just stop eating because you’re worried,” he nudges you once you’re back in your apartment. “You’ll wither away in this place.” 

You brush off his comment, knowing that this new state of yours won’t last for very long, “It’s just one breakfast.” 

San blinks at you, crossing his arms over his chest, “And what do they say about breakfast? Hm? The most important meal of the day?”

You roll your eyes, flopping down onto the couch. “What time is it?” 

He flicks his wrist up, looking down at his watch, “eight forty-seven.” 

Ugh. Not nearly close to time for book club. You have to wonder whether or not the cops will arrive before or after you’re forced to have one last chat with Hongjoong.

… Not that ‘forced’ is exactly the right word, here. No, you’re actually looking forward to this last meeting of yours. There are quite a few things that you would like to hear straight from the horse's mouth, rather than the police or the news or the lawyers or anyone else that might become involved. Plus, there are questions that probably could never be answered by anyone else. And you sure as hell don’t plan on visiting Hongjoong in prison. 

.・。.・゜✭ ⧖ ・.・ ⧖ ✫・゜・。. 

When that time of day finally rolls around, you’re practically flinging yourself out the door, tugging San along with you to make the short walk to Hongjoong’s door. 

He barely gets his slippers on, stumbling behind you into the hallway, “Is there a reason you’re so eager today?” 

“I have questions that I want answered.” You pull on his hand, poor San so confused that you can sense it in the hesitance of his steps.

When you arrive, you knock on the door, San stopping at your side as you wait for Hongjoong to answer, “But are you sure you feel up to this? We could say that you’re si—”

San’s proposal is cut off by Hongjoong answering the door. “Hello, you two.” 

San mutters a hello back, but you’re too caught off guard by his appearance to give a proper greeting. “Why the hell are you dressed like that?” 

Hongjoong frowns, looking down at his outfit. “Like what?” 

“Like, like,” you look him up and down. He’s wearing all black, but not like the last time you had seen him not looking like a farmer. The day of your Choosing ceremony seems like so long ago, but you can still remember those freaky matching outfits quite well. No, he doesn’t wear any accessories and these clothes are less… industrial. The boots might be the same. Otherwise, the pants he wears now are nicer and his shirt a plain t with a long, black, silky… robe (?) over top. The sign of the answer is on his arm, sewn into the bicep. For a moment, you wonder who it is that does that embroidery; it’s quite nice. “Like a priest?” It’s not an exact comparison, but its the word your mind comes up with. 

San nudges your side as Hongjoong rolls his eyes, “You really don’t pay attention during service, do you?” 

“Not really.” San nudges you more urgently this time, giving you a bit of a pleading look when you glance over at him. 

Hongjoong only sighs, stepping aside and opening the door wider to invite you in. You bid goodbye to San as you step inside, brushing past Hongjoong.

“You seem like you’re in a good mood, today?” Hongjoong shuts the door behind you, following you into his apartment.

“I have a lot I want to talk with you about,” you say, settling onto his couch. It’s true, there is a lot that you want to clear up. Haseul must have made it to town by now, and she must have sent the police already. There are some things that you need to hear from Hongjoong before its all over.

Hongjoong sits in his usual chair, looking at you with a bit of apprehension, “Is that so?”

“Yep,” you rest your elbow on the arm of the couch, leaning into your hand. “You never answered my question.”

“About the clothes?” He shakes his head, “Again, you would know if you paid attention.” 

“Maybe I would be better able to focus on service if not for you conjuring up other things for me to worry about.” 

Hongjoong frowns, “What are you worried about?” 

You drop your chin, looking at him through your eyelashes, “Really?” 

He crosses his arms over his chest, rolling his eyes. “I’ll admit that I might’ve lost my temper yesterday, but Haseul is perfectly fine, (Y/n).” 

A giggle tries to escape you, but you manage to keep it in. You can’t decide if you’d rather Hongjoong know that you know the truth or not. On one hand, if you cut the bullshit, you might be able to have a better conversation. To get more answers to your questions. But… it could be possible that he has no idea the involvement that you or San played in her disappearance. That seems highly unlikely, but… You’re just not sure if you should risk it. 

“You don’t believe me?” He asks, apparently impatient with your lack of response, “Do you want to see her?” 

… That throws you for a bit of a loop. Why would he ask if he couldn’t back it up? Obviously he must know that you would say yes, that you would want to see her. So why would he offer something that he can’t provide? 

Is it… is it possible that San lied? That he didn’t get her out? That he didn’t even try?

You stare at Hongjoong, trying to see if this is another one of his games. He stares right back at you, not a hint of emotion on his face. Yeah. That’s it. 

“Can we cut the bullshit?” You ask, lowering your voice. 

The corners of his lips twitch upward, only a little, “I don’t know what you mean, (Y/n). Do you want to see her or not?” 

“We both know that Haseul isn’t here,” you blink, waiting for him to contradict you.

Contradict you, he does. “But she is,” he smiles, then, one of his knowing little smiles that already tells you what he’s thinking. He’s about to say something to hurt you. You know it. “It was a cute attempt, (Y/n), I must admit. Getting San to help you and all. I didn’t know he was so…” Hongjoong bites his lip, looking for the right word, “Enamored with you.” 

You try your hardest to not betray the complete and utter sinking desperation you feel. 

“That’ll be dealt with in its own time. Haseul is safe and sound in her room, with Mingi for company.” He smiles again, “You didn’t really think it would be so easy, did you?” 

You want to scream. Why can’t anything work? Why can’t anything go your way? “I want to see her,” you whisper, attempting to keep your voice steady.

Hongjoong hums, “I think not, actually. Consider it your punishment for trying to get her out. I’ll let you off easy, since I knew that you would try something. Next time, I won’t be as gracious.” 

There’s a million questions bouncing through your head now, having lost your advantage. You had been so confident coming into this apartment, so sure that things were going your way. Why didn’t you even… consider that she could’ve been caught? How foolish can you be?

You can practically feel the spark that you had fleeting out of you. It happened so fast. In less than two minutes, all of your hopes coming into this conversation were crushed. How can tha—

“But this leads us to another topic, (Y/n).” Hongjoong uncrosses his arms, leaning forward in his chair. “What’s going on with you and San? Hm?” 

You take a sharp inhale, again trying to contain any hint of emotion. You would rather Hongjoong didn’t know how off guard he just caught you, and you would also rather that he not know about the… extent of your relationship with San. Which seems to be precisely where this conversation is about to head. 

“Well, Hongjoong, we spend about every waking second together, thanks to you. So we’re close.”

Hongjoong frowns sarcastically, tilting his head, “Close enough that he would risk his neck to do you a favor? When he knows that he’s on thin ice with me?” He drops the expression, returning to his stony neutrality. “I’m giving you a chance to be honest, (Y/n). Maybe I’ll be nicer if I hear it from you instead of him.” 

You blink at him, unsure of what to say. You honestly hadn’t really even… thought about how you would classify your relationship with him. Obviously you care about him, and he cares about you. And you get each other off occasionally, but, like… its not like he’s your boyfriend or something. You don’t feel like you should tell Hongjoong the truth… but you don’t want to make things worse for San, either. 

“What, precisely, are you asking me, Hongjoong?” You probably sound more defensive than you should let on, but you can’t help it. 

“Have you slept together?” 

“No.” 

Hongjoong shrugs, “Be that way, (Y/n), but what I can’t take out on you, I will take out on him.”

You open and close your mouth a few times, trying to think of a response, “But— Hongjoong, that’s the truth.” 

He holds a hand up, shushing your stuttering attempts at defending yourself, “You’re really only going to make things worse for him if you keep talking. Which I’m sure would just break your little heart, hm?” 

“Hongjoong, I’m being honest, I swear to Go—”

“Swear to God?” He smiles, “I thought you didn’t believe in me?” 

If you weren’t so preoccupied with trying to prove San’s innocence, you would roll your eyes. Hongjoong and his fucking ego. 

He cuts you off when you start to plead your case again, “I don’t believe you, do you know why?” His eyes are wide with curiosity as he blinks at you, a knowing smile on his face. 

You don’t know why he’s so sure, but you don’t really want to know, either. Anyways, it is the God honest truth that you and San haven’t had sex, so you have no idea what he even thinks he knows. Unless he’s some sort of… Mormon or something, last time you checked, oral is generally not referred to as ‘sleeping together.’ Like, Christ, can you have no peace here? 

You don’t respond, so Hongjoong continues, “Remember your next door neighbor, Seonghwa?” 

Your face actually goes slack this time, a frown curling over your lips. “Seriously? Seonghwa is your source?” 

“He’s rather trustworthy, in my experience.” 

“Seonghwa. The man that hates me so much he wants me. You don’t see how he could, I don’t know, lie to get San in trouble to, I don’t know, get him out of his way?”

Hongjoong laughs, then, the sound echoing around his apartment. “No, I don’t see him doing that,” he says once he regains his breath, though it takes a few seconds. “He’s not so petty.”

You do scoff, then. Seonghwa has to be one of the pettiest people that you’ve ever met in your life. Like, seriously, no fucking way does Hongjoong believe him to not be petty. 

That being said… you do find it a little hard to believe that Seonghwa would lie about this. He was the one that told you that San is not in the best situation with Hongjoong, and he seemed… sympathetic is the wrong word, but, like, he warned you about it. Would someone that was going to set you up give you such a head’s up? Plus, he did remind you of the fact that you were neighbors, which, like… yeah, okay. He could’ve heard something, but something doesn’t mean sex. People must masturbate here. What else is there to do? Could it not have been so simple in his mind’s eye? 

No, you don’t think that Seonghwa would jump to the fantastical conclusion that you’re sleeping with San. Nor do you think that he would be so jealous as to risk putting Hongjoong’s ire on San. While he doesn’t seem to be the biggest fan of the guy, you didn’t get the vibe that he wants him dead or anything. So… yeah. The pieces aren’t adding up. 

Might as well lean into it a bit, if there’s no convincing Hongjoong otherwise. “What would happen if I told you that San and I were together?” 

Hongjoong’s smile goes tense, as if he wasn’t expecting you to ask such a thing. For the first time, the thought that he could be bluffing crosses your mind… maybe a moment too late. Hongjoong pauses, looking between you and the books on his coffee table. 

“I,” He stops, tilting his head to the side as he keeps his eyes off of you, “honestly hadn’t truly considered it a possibility. Surely he cares for you, that’s to be expected, but…” 

So he was just trying to taunt you, then. Part of you feels like you’ve triumphed by managing to take him off guard with something, but that something is… not something that he should actually think is true. 

“Well, like I’ve been saying, Hongjoong, nothing has happened between us.” 

He looks back up at you and you’re shocked to see his eyes shining wet in the light, “No?” 

Your heart speeds up at the sight, reminded of the previous times that you’ve seen Hongjoong vulnerable. You don’t trust your voice to not shake, so you simply shake your head in agreement. 

“You know that I don’t want to hurt San, right?” He asks, frowning, “But there has to be punishments for breaking the rules. I’m only trying to keep peace.” 

You have no idea how Hongjoong feels about San. All you know is that this is making you extremely uncomfortable. Seeing Hongjoong cry is just, just so, ugh! You can’t control the way your heart squeezes in your chest, nor the guilt that broils in your stomach for being the cause of his distress. But… this is Hongjoong! He doesn’t deserve your empathy, but… 

“I know, Hongjoong,” you whisper, moreso trying to get him to stop rather than actually express the sentiment. 

He wipes his eyes, then, clearing his throat, “I suppose I can trust you, for now.” His gaze gets harder with each passing millisecond. “But I’m sure you can guess what will happen if I find out that you’re lying to me.” 

You can definitely put the pieces together yourself. So you nod your head in agreement, hoping that he believes you in this case. 

Hongjoong clears his throat again, fanning his face a couple times, “Was there anything else, then?” 

“Oh, uhm,” in truth, there was a lot more that you wanted to ask him about. He never answered your question about his clothes, you want to know more about this girl that came before you, and more about what the fuck The Answer says about you. But it feels strange to ask about any of that, after… yeah. Whatever that just was. 

… But you don’t actually care that much. So you decide to jump into the topic that he’ll probably like discussing with you the most. 

“I had some questions about the Answer, actually…” 

Hongjoong raises his eyebrows, a smile growing across his face, “Have you finally read ahead?” 

Well… yes and no, but you’re not going to tell him that Wooyoung told you the gist of it, “Maybe a little bit.” 

He claps once, genuine glee showing through his expression. He even giggles, and not in the creepy way that he sometimes does. “This is wonderful, (Y/n)!” 

You give him an awkward smile, waiting for him to stop acting like a kid in a candy store. 

“So? You have questions?” He leads, “I might have answers.” 

Might. Isn’t that just the greatest word in existence. He definitely has all of the answers, considering all of this shit came from his own head; but he can pick and choose what he wants to withhold from you at any time. Because that’s Hongjoong. Always leaving an escape for himself. 

“Well, I’m just curious about a few things…” You start, trying to figure out how to word your questions so that they’re as… inconspicuous as possible. “First, do you know how I’m supposed to… uhm, ‘bring about the Sign?’” 

Hongjoong’s smile somehow grows even wider when you finish your question, “I’m proud of you, (Y/n). This is a huge step in your journey.” 

You don’t like that. Nope. Not the way he just said ‘journey.’ 

But Hongjoong tilts his head to the side, letting his smile go, “But I’m not sure I can answer your question. I’ve yet to have the concrete vision.” He shrugs, “I honestly think that the vision will come to you rather than me.” 

Oh Jesus Christ. Hongjoong has said some crazy bullshit to you before, but that is an entire new level. If he genuinely thinks that you’re going to believe that you are going to start having prophetic dreams because you’re supposedly some major figure in this goddamned cult lore, he has an entirely new thing coming for him. 

But you doubt that he thinks you’ll believe him. You haven’t before, why would you now? 

Your skepticism must show on your face, because Hongjoong continues. “It’s nothing to be afraid of. We’re linked, somehow, in the grand scheme of things, (Y/n). It’s you that was foretold.” 

You blink, trying to not start screaming. Before you can really think too hard about it, you’re asking your next question. 

“But how do you know that it’s me, Hongjoong? There was a girl before me, wasn’t there?” 

The silence that follows is nearly as scary as Hongjoong’s reaction to your question.

His smile drops faster than you’ve ever seen. 

“San told you this?” Hongjoong asks, his tone hard. 

“Who told me isn’t important, I just want to talk about he—”

“It really is. Like I said, we have rules for a reason,” he tilts his head, folding his hands in his lap. “If you don’t tell me who it was, I will assume that it was San and he’ll be punished severely.” 

Well fuck. There’s not really a way to say that it was someone else without incriminating (a) San, for leaving you with someone else, (b) yourself, and (c) Wooyoung. But you can’t very well say that it was San, given the earlier subject matter.

But you really don’t want to throw Wooyoung under the bus, either, considering all that he just confided in you. He’s been long tortured by this man already, and he already part-way resents you for it. If you told him… 

There’s really only one other option.

“Seonghwa told me.” The words come out before you can really think about them. Seonghwa should be a good choice. He might hate your guts, but at least he has something of a soft (hard?) spot for you. If he gets in trouble, it should be okay. And, anyways, its not like Hongjoong would do anything to really punish Seonghwa, right? Surely not with whatever arrangement they have going on. Plus, fuck that guy for apparently ratting you out to Hongjoong. He lied to Hongjoong about you, you’ll lie to Hongjoong about him. Easy. 

Hongjoong raises his eyebrows. “Seonghwa,” he doesn’t ask, simply restating his name. “Seonghwa told you.” 

You shrug, “Is it so hard to believe?” 

His face crinkles with confusion, “Yes, it is. See, Seonghwa is probably the last person I would expect you to hear that from, considering his loyalty to me and the disgust he felt over that entire situation.” He ponders for a second, “No, Seonghwa would be the second to last person; but the point still stands.” 

‘Considering his loyalty’ to Hongjoong and his ‘disgust’ over that entire situation… Interesting details. Obviously, you know that Seonghwa is loyal to Hongjoong and wouldn’t ordinarily give you information that Hongjoong clearly doesn’t want you to know about. But his disgust? What does that mean? 

Anyhow, you figure that, if you’re already throwing Seonghwa under the bus, it couldn’t hurt to make it just a little bit worse, right?

“I thought you would know the kind of pillow talk Seonghwa engages in.” 

Hongjoong takes the longest blink you’ve ever seen, his eyes going wide as he stares at you. “Excuse me?” 

You shrug your shoulders, trying your best to keep this facade up. Seonghwa is going to be so fucking pissed. And so is Hongjoong. But this has to be better than Wooyoung or San getting punished, right? You can deal with some anger. They’d probably fare much worse. 

“I’m sorry, just, can you repeat yourself? It sounds like you’re telling me that you and Seonghwa…” he trails off, flapping his hands in front of himself as if he can’t even bring himself to speak the words. “I thought I made myself quite clear about my feelings on this matter.”

For once, you wish that you could just appreciate a moment where you’re able to be the one throwing Hongjoong off of his guard. But, no, you have to keep spinning your bullshit, because, of course, only a lie can leave him so astounded. 

“That’s really not what’s important here, Hongjoong, pleas—”

“Should I get Seonghwa? Do we need to have this conversation right now?” 

He goes to stand and you’re immediately holding your hands out to him, ushering him to sit back down, “no, no, no. Hongjoong, this is not what is important right now.” 

He looks at you like you’re insane, “Yes it is. You don’t need to know anything about Haneul.” 

Haneul. 

What a coincidence, no? 

“Hongjoong, please, just, can we talk abou—”

He tries to stand again, but you do the unthinkable. You touch him first, grabbing onto his arm to pull him back to his chair. “There’s nothing to know about her. She was fake, she wasn’t real. You shouldn’t worry yourself about her. She was inconsequential, unworthy of taking up any space in your pretty little head.” 

The way he speaks about her makes your stomach roll over. What in the fuck? She’s dead, and he’s talking about her like this? You shouldn’t be surprised, but it still makes you sick.

“But, Hongjoong, don’t you think it would help me understand my purpose, if you can explain why she couldn’t?” 

The panicked look on his face evaporates as if he’s suddenly remembered something important. He looks into your eyes, a small smile starting to tug across his face, “you really want to know?” 

The way he asks almost makes you want to take it back, to disagree with him. You just know that whatever it is that he just thought of is something that he’s going to use to scare you with, and the prospect isn’t too thrilling. But… any information is good information, right? 

“I do, Hongjoong.” 

He looks down at his hands, then, squeezing them together in his lap. You still have your hand on his arm, despite the level of uncomfort you’re experiencing, hoping that your touch is grounding him somehow.

When he looks back up, his smile is wider, his eyes more crazed, “there were a few reasons that Haneul couldn’t be the bearer. The first reason being her relationship with Jongho.”

What? Jongho? Is this why he has it out for you? Because Hongjoong replaced his girlfriend with you? Like, shit, he has every right to be pissed, but to be pissed with you is a bit… misplaced. 

“The second reason being her attitude. As you read, the bearer of the Answer is to be hesitant and abrasive. She should deny her role before fully becoming it. Little Haneul was obedient from the moment she arrived.” 

… You can’t fact check that one just yet, but yeah, sure, whatever. Hongjoong’s fucking insane. Any reason of his that comes from The Answer is not a legitimate reason for anything. 

“And then, of course, I decided that I liked you more.” 

You can’t stand it anymore. You let go of him, putting more distance between your bodies than you even do normally. Literally, genuinely, absolutely, what the fuck is wrong with this guy? What the fuck does he mean? How could he have possibly killed someone for you before even knowing you? 

So you blink at him and ask, “how the fuck did you decide that before meeting me?” 

“I don’t know why you keep insisting that we never met before you came here, (Y/n). Am I so memorable that you think you would remember even a fleeting interaction?” 

“Yes.” 

“I’m honored,” Hongjoong flashes a teasing smile, though there’s an impatience growing in his tone, “But I’ve known you far longer than you realize.” 

The way he says this sends an actual chill down your spine, making you feel more vulnerable than just moments prior. “Can you at least tell me where we supposedly met? Or how long you’ve known me?” 

“Are you sure it won’t scare you?” Hongjoong smirks, “I think it would. All you need to know, (Y/n), is that I am positive that you are the one. Beyond a shadow of a doubt, it is you.” 

.・。.・゜✭ ⧖ ・.・ ⧖ ✫・゜・。. 

After that, Hongjoong had decided enough was enough and made you start your lesson. In your opinion, that whole conversation about The Answer should’ve been enough to cover your lesson, but that’s just not how your life goes. 

But, for being such a good listener today, Hongjoong had given you a reward. The privilege of walking back to your apartment, unaccompanied. How lovely.

Of course, it would’ve been smartest to just go back to your apartment. You, in fact, definitely should’ve just done that. 

But you have more questions. And, really, how likely is it that he’s going to find out that you made a little detour? He didn’t say go straight back or anything.

So you find yourself outside, approaching the big barns. It’s strange to be alone. But not in a bad way. You peer down the road as you pass it, staring down its infinite stretch of gravel and corn. Surely the harvest is coming. Surely. 

You hadn’t brought a coat with you, but, thankfully, its rather nice outside. A bit chilly, in your long sleeve, but not unbearable. If anything, the chill makes you feel more grounded.

Maybe it’s a bad idea to try and talk to Jongho. No, scratch that, it’s definitely a bad idea to try and talk to Jongho. You’re full of them today. But, if there’s even the slightest chance that he can give you more information… you’re going to take it. 

You’re finding that you have almost an insatiable curiosity growing within you with each passing day. Maybe it’s a coping mechanism. Maybe you’re losing it. Whatever it is, you simply have to know. Everything. 

Plus, you’re a bit incensed that your plan to help Haseul escape failed so completely and utterly. You had been in such a good mood this morning, despite the tension you had been feeling. Now, you’re just angry. You hadn’t even been this angry when you, yourself, had failed to escape. This failure feels like a reflection of your efforts, and that pisses you off. Had you made a mistake, asking for San’s help? Is it possible that he… sabotaged the escape so as to save his own ass? Could you really blame him if he did? It was unfair, asking him what you did. But it was your only option at the time, and you know that. 

Either way, you’re just upset that you failed. Haseul is still here, locked up in a room somewhere and you’re not even allowed to see her. She’s probably scared out of her mind, confused and angry. She must have been lured here using you, right? Someone used your phone to get her here. San claims that it wasn’t him… but who else would it have been? Any of the elites probably could have, but… who? Not Wooyoung, not after what he told you. Seonghwa? Maybe, but could he mimic you well enough to convince Haseul? That’s really the question, you realize. Who knows you well enough that they could’ve gotten your best friend to believe they were you? 

There’s really only one option, and he had insisted that it wasn’t him. 

God, this is pissing you off even more. You don’t want to believe that it was San. Like he’s said, you don’t want to think that he would willingly hurt you, especially not now, with how close you are. It would be… very unsettling, to say the least. 

But, still, how had the escape failed? Who tipped Hongjoong off? Who was it that caught up to her? Had she ever even left in the first place? Was she hurt in the capture? Hongjoong had said that she was safe and sound… but, knowing that guy, that could mean any number of things. 

It really makes you wonder. Who was in on it? Was it just a random follower that saw her and reported it? Was it an elaborate plan that ended just how Hongjoong wanted it to? Clearly, Hongjoong must have been expecting you to try something. Maybe you had played right into his plan, maybe it was a setup from the get go. 

If it was, though, why the hell hadn’t you considered it? It pisses you off, truly, the hindsight. You were stupid, trying something so fast. It was stupid to involve San, and stupid to think that you would actually be able to pull off an escape. Fuck.

You emerge from your thoughts as you approach the barn, sticking your head in through the open door. “Jongho?” You call out, wondering if he would even respond to you if he heard you. You’d wager not, but you step further inside, anyhow. 

Peering around the corner, you’re not surprised to see him heaving… something into the pig troughs. Looks like food scraps, kind of. He turns at the sound of your voice, a rather disrespectful look of disgust landing on his face once he realizes that it’s you he’s talking to. 

“What.” It’s not a question, rather a statement. He doesn’t stop his work, grabbing another bucket to tip into the feeder. “Where’s your babysitter?” 

Ignoring the actual question, you walk deeper inside, stopping when you’re a few feet from Jongho. The pigs squeak happily as he dumps the new bucket, nudging each other aside in an attempt to be the first to eat. You take a closer look at the trough, the slop making your stomach roll despite how pleased the pigs seem. 

Pulling your eyes away from the scene, you start, “Can we talk?” 

Jongho turns away from you, and for a second you’re sure that he’s going to up and leave. But, no, he simply grabs the last bucket that had been in the row, tipping it into a different trough in the pen. “About what?” 

“Uhm,” is there a delicate enough way to put this? Are you supposed to be like, hey, sorry about your dead girlfriend? You probably should’ve put a little more thought into this before immediately storming off to talk to him, but, ugh! This is Hongjoong’s fault. Everything always is. 

Jongho claps his hands together, dirt flying off of his gloves and into the air. He tugs them off, deliberately pulling at each finger before taking them all the way off, shoving them into a back pocket of his dirtied cargo pants. He sighs, folding his arms over his chest, “You’re wasting my time.” 

Swallowing, you squeeze your hands in front of you, trying to keep yourself steady, “About, uhm, ah,” you clear your throat, but her name still comes out rather meekly, “Haneul?”

He blinks. Once. Twice. And then he’s on you.

He’s able to close the distance you had left between you in seconds, his hands clamping onto your upper arms so hard that you yelp. He doesn’t seem to notice, shaking you as more emotion crosses his face in these few seconds than you’ve seen him display the entire time you’ve known him. 

“Listen very carefully, (Y/n),” he tugs you closer, his hands squeezing tighter, “I’m only going to say this once. If I ever hear her name leave your lips again, I’ll kill you. It’ll be so fast that you won’t even realize you’re dead until you’re squalling as you emerge into your next life. Do you understand?” Jongho’s voice rattles with so much emotion that you have no choice but to believe his threat, nodding your head quickly in response. 

His grip loosens, but he doesn’t fully let you go, “Whatever you wanted to say, keep it to yourself. Don’t think about her, don’t ask other people about her, go back to pretending as if she never existed.” 

“I was just going to—”

“To? To what?”

“To apologize.” You glare up at him, cutting him off before he can start bitching again, “For what happened. Hongjoong is insane. And I’m sorry that someone you cared about was hurt because of him.” 

Jongho scoffs, staring down at you like you just said the most loathsome sentence he’s ever heard (really, he’s just thinking about last night) (how badly he wants to tell you your friend is dead, her body rotting two feet away from where you stand) (how she cried out for you, screamed your name when he grabbed her, capturing her last breath) (how, in his eyes, you deserve a worse punishment than that). 

“I don’t want your pity,” he whispers, his voice still hard, “Get out of here before I tell Hongjoong you’re running around by yourself.” 

He pushes you away from him, sending you stumbling backwards. Your arms pulsate where he had been squeezing you, your arteries working to compensate for the restriction they had been under. 

So much for mending that relationship. Or getting any answers. You probably should’ve anticipated the hostility, but… you are a bit of an optimist. Most of the time. 

You spare one more glance toward the pigs, watching as they continue to devour the scraps. The noises they make alone are enough to make your stomach churn once more, this time with nausea rather than anger or guilt. 

Jongho waits for you to get back to the doors before taking his eyes off of you, needing to know that you’re out of his space before he can relax again. 

Only, right as you step out of the threshold of the barn, you run into a tall frame that you really had not been expecting. 

You look up, already knowing that it will be Mingi’s face staring down at you. 

He doesn’t give you the chance to slip away, latching a hand onto your wrist to pull you back into the barn you had just left. You’re once again stumbling as he leads you back inside, immediately turning a corner into a more secluded part of the barn. 

“What is happening between you and San?”

Oh. So that’s where this is going. For a second there, you had the tiniest scrap of hope that you would be able to have a genuine conversation with him. That, maybe, he would want to apologize to you for, you don’t know, ignoring you for weeks after basically blaming you for not being a mind reader. 

You might be less annoyed if you hadn’t just had this exact conversation with Hongjoong. But to be reminded of the topic so soon has your blood running hot, anger flaring in your chest once more. To defend yourself from Hongjoong is one thing, but Mingi. 

You’ll never get used to it. 

“Really? That’s the first thing you have to say to me after, what, weeks of not speaking?” You scoff, trying to tug your wrist out of his hold to no avail. 

Mingi rolls his eyes. “Just answer the question.” 

“What’s going on between you and Hongjoong?” You ask, looking up at him and hoping you don’t look as small as you feel. “I thought you were scared of him, and now what? You’re doing his dirty work? Detaining our friend?” 

“Haseul is gone. I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Mingi blinks, his jaw set hard. “Hongjoong is my leader, my guide. He’s my friend, (Y/n). What are you and San? Friends?” He spits this final word, leaning down toward your face.

Had you not been so angry, you might’ve caught the first part. But you want to actually spit on him. How could he think that this is an okay way to talk to you? “I’m not answering that question, Mingi. You don’t get to, to question my relationships with people!” 

Mingi smiles a horrible smile. One that you have never seen. It’s almost a sneer. “You were my friend before his, you remember?”

You yank on your hand again, finally succeeding in getting it free of his grasp. “What the fuck is wrong with you?” You stumble backwards, tripping over some loose hay on the floor. “Mingi, please, this isn’t—”

“There’s nothing wrong with me.” Mingi steps toward you. “If anything, there’s something wrong with you, (Y/n).” 

You shake your head, continuing to back away from him. You’ve never seen Mingi like this. You’ve never known him to act like this. This simply isn’t him. It doesn’t make any sense, you have no idea where this is coming from or why he decided now was the time to reignite the feud between you two. 

“You used to tell me all of your guy problems, remember?” He pouts, reaching a hand out to you. “It can be like old times, (Y/n). Just tell me the truth.” His voice has gone noticeably softer, his tone less serious. You don’t know if he’s manipulating you or not. 

Your back finally hits a wall, the uninsulated metal of the barn freezing cold on your skin. It seeps through your shirt, chilling you to the bone. “Mingi, please listen to me,” you put a hand out, trying to get him to stop advancing on you. “You’re scaring me. You are scaring the shit out of me. Back off, now.” 

Mingi chuckles, stopping in place. He holds his hands up in front of himself, showing off his stop. “I’m sorry, sorry,” he huffs, crossing his arms over his chest. “But… Do you think I would hurt you? Really?” 

You want the answer to be no. Desperately. This is fucking Mingi that you’re talking about. You don’t get a chance to respond. 

“Whatever,” he rolls his eyes, “you clearly don’t give a shit about us anymore, anyways. Otherwise, you’d just fucking tell me the truth.” 

You stay pressed flat against the wall behind you, shaking your head at him. How did this happen? How could this happen? Your best friend, the person you came here for, is accusing you of not caring about him, not caring about your relationship. How blind could he be? 

It’s not Mingi talking, you know that. It’s fucking Hongjoong. Hongjoong feeding him bullshit in an attempt to get him to turn on you. And, lucky for him, its working. Perfectly. Your words can’t stand on their own against Hongjoong’s anymore. And he knows that. 

“Do you really want to know, Mingi?” Your voice cracks when you say his name, tears springing into your eyes, “What would it accomplish? Please, tell me why you want to know, and I’ll tell you the truth.” 

He hesitates at that, looking up toward the ceiling of the barn.

“Exactly. You don’t want to know,” you shake your head at him, watching as he kicks at some loose hay by his feet. “Can’t you see what’s happening here?”

Mingi looks back down, frowning. 

“He’s doing this on purpose, Mingi. Hongjoong wants us to hate each other. He wants to take away any semblance of support that we have. He’s trying to tear us apart, and you’re letting him!”

He squints as if he’s confused, looking down at his feet, then. He kicks around some loose hay, not responding. You take the moment to gather yourself, trying to calm your heart. Mingi has never acted so hostile toward you before, you can hardly even believe that this is the same man. 

“I just,” he starts, not looking toward you, “I don’t see why he would do that.” 

You close your eyes, trying to not scream. Has Mingi always been so naive?

No, he hasn’t. This is Hongjoong at work. Gaslighting him into questioning every action taken toward him. Making him confused and hurting him and turning him against you. It honestly makes you want to scream in frustration, the mind games that Hongjoong plays with people.

How could he do this? To innocent people? Play with their minds, turn them into dependent mush? It’s clear that Hongjoong is a monster, a psychopath, someone that gets off on the way that he can manipulate and control people. But seeing it so clearly… in someone you once considered your best friend… 

It makes you hate him more, a thousand times so. You would kill him if you could. 

If— no, when— you get Mingi out of here, will he ever be the same? Will he ever go back to being the Mingi that you once knew? Or will Hongjoong be with him for the rest of his life, manipulating and twisting his thoughts into everything that they’re not? 

Could any amount of therapy turn back time? Any amount of counseling? Medication? 

The sinking feeling in your chest tells you that, no, things will never be the same. 

For the rest of his life, Mingi will have a piece of Hongjoong embedded into his personality. And you’ll have to live with that fact.

When you get out of here, when Hongjoong is in prison or dead or whatever, when he’s out of your life… he won’t be. 

Is that fair? Abusers stick with their victims for their entire lives, but the opposite is rarely ever true. Would Hongjoong spare Mingi a second thought in thirty years, when he’s rotting in a jail cell? You doubt it. But Mingi… there won’t be a day of his life where he doesn’t think about what happened here. About what he suffered. 

“Did I,” he looks up at you after the prolonged silence, “did I really scare you?”

You blink at him, not wanting to tell him the truth.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, (Y/n).” His voice cracks when he says your name, turning away from you. “Everything is my fault. All of it. You’re here, and now Haseul, and, and,” with each word, his voice gets heavier with emotion. You don’t have to see his face to know that he’s crying. “It’s my fault. I’m sorry. For bringing you here, for yelling, for being mad, for scaring you, for everything.” 

You push yourself off of the wall, taking a couple steps to reach out to him. You grab his bicep, gently pulling him to face you. You’re not very successful, only managing to turn him a few centimeters. He still doesn’t look at you.

“You know that I don’t blame you for any of this, Mingi,” the complete opposite is true, in fact. “None of it is your fault.” 

“But it—” Mingi freezes in the middle of his sentence, and you have to peer around him to figure out why. 

San clears his throat when you meet his gaze, awkwardly averting his eyes to the ground. 

Mingi turns back toward you, then, aggressively wiping his cheeks with his palm, as if ashamed for San to see him so. 

“(Y/n), I’ve,” San looks up, biting his lip, “been looking for you everywhere.” 

You don’t know what to say, so you don’t say anything. You probably shouldn’t have run off without permission, but you had to take the chance. Still, there is a bit of guilt swimming in you for apparently making San worry. You hadn’t considered…

Mingi’s tears have dried up by the time he turns back toward the other man, “Leave.” 

Your eyes widen with this command, squeezing Mingi’s arm a bit in response. He can’t just… tell San to leave, can he? 

San looks as taken aback as you feel, confusion evident on his face, “Excuse me?” 

“I think you heard me the first time.” 

“Mingi, pleas—”

San cuts you off, “No, no, let him speak.” He holds his hand up to silence you, something that you would never have ever expected him to do to you, “Do you have something you need to say to me, Mingi?” 

“No, he doesn’t. Right, Mingi?” You answer for him, squeezing his arm again in an attempt to keep him grounded. Whatever the fuck San thinks he’s doing right now, you’re not appreciating it. Especially not when Mingi just about yelled at you because of San. There are definitely some choice words that these two could share, but you don’t want to be privy to them. 

Mingi ignores you, a tense smile on his face, “I have a lot of things I could say to you, San. Do you want to start with the way that you’re manipulating (Y/n), or your involvement in what happened yesterday?” 

Now, before this moment, you wouldn’t have said that San is a person inclined to violence. But within seconds he’s ripping Mingi out of your grasp via the front of his shirt, tugging him toward him until their chests are almost touching. “I’m doing no such thing,” the words come out in more of a snarl than anything else, “and I have no idea what you mean by ‘my involvement,’ but I’ll go ahead and tell you to shut your mouth about it, anyways.”

“San!” Your hands are back on both of them before he even finishes his sentence, one on each man. “What the fuck is wro—”

Mingi smirks down at San, once again completely ignoring you, even cutting you off. “Is that so? Why is she so quick to defend your relationship? Why is she keeping secrets from me? How could she possibly like you when you’re the one that lured her here?”

San’s eye literally twitches. “I know you’re in love with her, but this is just pathetic. Aren’t you embarrassed? To be the outsider, here? To know that she never fell for you, but for me despite the mistakes that I’ve made? Despite the ways I’ve wronged her? Does that just crush you? So much so that you have to make up blind accusations against me in an attempt to turn her away?” 

Mingi shakes his arm out of your grasp in the next second, using both of his hands to shove San away from him. San actually falls, landing on his ass in front of Mingi. 

You gasp as Mingi starts yelling, “You don’t know anything about our relationship! Anything that you do know you found out from stalking us! I couldn’t give two shits about her being into you, I care about you hurting her and acting innocent about it!” 

San frowns, and you’re surprised to see his lip quivering. He turns his attention to you, “You know that’s not true, (Y/n). You know that I care about you, that I’d never hurt you.” 

Mingi scoffs, smiling up toward the ceiling of the barn. “You say that you’re not manipulating her, but what’s this? Some crocodile tears and you think she’ll fawn right over you?” He looks down at you, still standing shocked by his side. “You’re not falling for this, are you?”

You look back and forth between San on the ground and Mingi beside you. In all honesty, you’re pissed at both of them equally. This fucking behavior is just childish; the last thing that you need is two people that you care about making you choose sides. 

“(Y/n)?” San’s voice breaks from the floor when you stay quiet. 

“I am not taking sides right now,” you whisper, glaring between the two of them. “You’re both being brats. Have either of you considered that I might value both of you? Or that I am an adult who can make her own decisions?” 

They stay silent, San finally picking himself up off of the ground. 

“You’re both pissing me off equally. I’d appreciate it if you could find it in yourselves to grow up and stop fighting over someone that doesn’t need or want to be fought over.” 

They at least have the decency to look a little ashamed of themselves, both of them looking anywhere but at you or each other. 

“Mingi,” he turns when you say his name, looking hopeful despite what you just said, “I would be happy to hear your genuine concerns about my wellbeing; however, I don’t want the hostility that you’ve shown me today. When you’re calmer, we can talk.” 

Mingi nods his head, “I’m sorry, again.” 

You reach out to touch his arm again, providing what you hope is enough comfort. Even though you’re pissed, Mingi was still in the middle of being vulnerable with you. You’re sorry that you weren’t able to finish that conversation with him. 

Dropping your hand, you take a couple steps to be closer to San, though you fold your arms over your chest as you tip your head toward the entrance of the barn, “Let’s go.” 

You don’t wait for him, opting to just start walking. He catches up quickly enough, though keeping a good two steps behind you. 

There is literally nothing that you can think to say to him. Your thoughts run wild with what just happened.

First, Mingi acting like that toward you? What the fuck was that? Did Hongjoong put him up to it, like you suggested he might’ve? Mingi had never treated you like that before, never… scared you like that before. There’s no way that was… all him. You refuse to believe it.

Having him stand up for you… that’s a whole separate thing. Obviously, Mingi has used his size to intimidate freaks that were bothering you before. He’s stood up for you more times than you can count, letting you use him as a defense mechanism for your entire friendship. He had put his hands on people for you before… but those were complete strangers. Seeing him get physical with San is a different story, not something that you would’ve expected from him. Even if he does genuinely believe that San is manipulating you or whatever, you would’ve thought that he would’ve at least stayed civil, considering your relationship. 

So it’s a surprise that he responded in turn when San engaged. Which in and of itself was shocking to you. 

San is not someone that you would ever peg for physical violence. So seeing him get on Mingi like that… it honestly does freak you out a bit. If San could hide his capacity for that from you, what else could he be capable of without you knowing?

Clearly, he’s an important member of the cult. He’s important to Hongjoong (arguably, considering he apparently wants him dead) and has a rather… disturbing position. San is clearly able to do a lot of things you would consider morally reprehensible with ease… as little as you enjoy that. 

But, seriously, physical violence? That’s so different from what you’ve seen from him in the past.

And, thinking back to what was said… what did Mingi mean about San’s involvement yesterday? He can’t blame San for helping you, can he? For helping Haseul? That’s a good thing that San did, even, if, ultimately, it failed. Haseul may still be locked up in a room, but that’s better than her being dead. It’s better than knowing that you did nothing to try and save her. Mingi must see that, too, right? Unless he genuinely thinks that it is a good thing for another one of your friends to be locked up here, which, you suppose, is a possibility. 

And, Christ, the way San was speaking to Mingi? You’ve never heard such, such awful things from him. There was malice in everything that he said, like he knew just the right things to say to push Mingi’s buttons. Using his feelings for you was low, and calling him pathetic… God, it’s just so weird to hear your San say things like that. Everyone has a mean side to them, a defensive one, but seeing San’s is just so shocking. 

He’s so vulnerable with you, so gentle and so kind. To know that he has the exact opposite persona lurking inside of him as well… 

It’s not exactly comforting.

.・。.・゜✭ ⧖ ・.・ ⧖ ✫・゜・。. 

When you reach your apartment, you move to head toward the bedroom right away, but San catches you before you can get far, his hand gently grabbing your wrist. “Can I apologize? Or, or explain? Please?” 

You pause, letting him keep his hand on you. As petty as you feel, and as much as you’d like to just ignore him until he learns his lesson… that’s not how adults do things. Especially not adults that live together. 

Sighing, you turn back towards him, nodding slowly.

He also sighs, though in relief, gently guiding you toward the couch. You both sit down, and San takes his hand away from you rather than keeping a hold. 

You wait for him to start, given that he’s the one that wants to explain. 

It takes a few minutes, but he finally does. “I shouldn’t have gotten so angry, that’s what this boils down to.” 

You blink, waiting for more.

“There isn’t an excuse for, for what I did. I shouldn’t have touched him, but, (Y/n), the way he was speaking to you? Talking about us? Accusing me of terrible, horrible things? I couldn’t just take that. I can forget my own pride, but I couldn’t let him hurt you.”

Yeah, you’re sure that pride has absolutely nothing to do with this. 

“Say something, please?” His eyes sparkle, and you can’t believe that he’s about to be the third man to cry in front of you today. 

You would, but you honestly have no idea what to say. What is there to say when your cult-sponsored fake-boyfriend gets into a physical fight with your lost best friend who also happens to be in love with you? Like, that’s not really something that happens very often. 

“I guess I can understand where you’re coming from,” is what you settle on, crossing your arms over your chest as you lean back into the couch, “but I still think you acted completely inappropriately, San. When someone is accusing you of being a bad person, its pretty bold to go ahead and prove them right while trying to prove them wrong.” 

San looks down at his hands, his voice cracking, “you think I’m a bad person?” 

Deep breaths, (Y/n). Deep breaths. 

“That’s not what I meant, San.” 

He starts shaking, and oh, God, you’ve done it now. You do feel bad as he starts whimpering, his hands coming up to shield his face from you. 

“But I am, (Y/n), I am a bad person,” he sobs, “Mingi was right, you’re right, you shouldn’t like me. I’m the reason you’re here, and I’m the reason you’re going through all of this, and I did stalk you guys, and last night and, and—”

Your heart does, perhaps, shatter a little bit upon hearing this. You had wanted to stay strong (angry), but how can you do that when San is weeping in front of you like this? 

Reaching out to him, you wrap an arm around his shoulders to pull him into you. He rests his face in the crook of your neck, quickly folding his arms around you and squeezing you tight to him. 

“San, I’m not angry with you for what you did before you met me, you have to know that.” You curl a hand into his hair, playing with the longer strands at the back of his neck. “And what happened last night— it really isn’t your fault.”

“You really don’t blame me? For any of it?” He whines, and you can envision the pout on his face without needing to see it. "You're too good to me, I don’t deserve your kindness.” 

He might have you with that one, honestly. But you're not going to agree with him, not when he's like this. Maybe if you were a little bit more pissed off. 

Instead, you try to keep comforting him, "I'm the one that doesn't deserve you, San. The things you've done for me since we've gotten to know each other… I can never thank you enough." He sighs as you continue running your fingers through his hair. "Even if you've done wrong, that doesn't make you a bad person. Everyone makes mistakes; it's what we do in the present that matters." 

A few minutes go by in silence, but you don't mind. San calms himself down, though you're sure that you're helping, too. He doesn't move from his spot in your arms, though, keeping his own firmly around you as well. 

"I should apologize to Mingi, shouldn't I?"

You chuckle, thinking it over. "Probably. But not when I'm there.” 

“Probably not,” he mumbles into your neck, pressing a kiss where his lips happen to land. 

.・。.・゜✭ ⧖ ・.・ ⧖ ✫・゜・。. 

San is positively delighted that you suggested he apologize to Mingi without you present. 

A conversation between the two of them is long overdue, and he doesn’t need you to know everything that he has to say to Mingi. 

So, he takes his opportunity during dinner, leaving you with Seonghwa (no matter how wide your eyes get or how betrayed you look) to go off and find Mingi. 

He’s still opting to take his meals in his room, which San finds very convenient. It’s possible that Yunho will be there when he arrives, which would make things a little bit more complicated, but he’s still resolved to have this conversation. 

San knocks on Mingi’s door, and, when he opens it, his shock is evident on his face, “can I help you?” 

San nods, peeking past him into his room, “are you alone? Can I keep you company?” 

Mingi blinks down at him, scoffing. “Do you think I’m stupid?” 

He shrugs, “a bit.” San shoves past Mingi to get into his room, not even flinching when Mingi slams the door shut behind himself. “Do me a favor and tell (Y/n) I apologized to you.”

Mingi crosses his arms over his chest, “why the hell would I lie for you?” 

“I’m sorry.” San smiles, “there, not a lie.” 

“San, just tell me why you’re really here so that I can go back to eating my soup in peace.” Mingi points at the still steaming bowl of soup sitting on his desk. Ugh, San is so glad that he doesn’t live in one of these tiny rooms anymore. He’d go crazy. 

San clenches his jaw, giving Mingi a once over. He hadn’t planned exactly what he was going to say, which probably would’ve made this a lot easier. But maybe it’ll be more fun like this. 

“I just want to make sure that you’re not going to keep trying to give (Y/n) the wrong idea about me.”

Mingi scoffs, “if anything, I’m giving her the right idea about you. You really are a manipulative bastard, you know that, right?” 

He shrugs his shoulders in response, “you’re free to think that way. But it’s not the truth. I genuinely care about her, you know.” 

Mingi rolls his eyes, a single laugh leaving him, “well I feel the same way. And I’m not going to let you hurt her.” 

“Why would I want to hurt her, Mingi? What could I possibly gain from that?” 

“I don’t know what game you’re playing, San.” Mingi uncrosses his arms, clenching his fists at his sides, “but I don’t want you dragging her into it.” 

San laughs, gesturing around Mingi’s room, “she’s already in it! You made sure of that, might I remind you?” 

Mingi looks perplexed, “excuse me? You are the one that brought her here, not me.” 

“You don’t feel bad? That she came looking for you?” 

“As if Hongjoong wouldn’t have found a way for you to get her, anyways.” Mingi frowns, “I’m not stupid. I know that she was the one he was after when he Chose me, that I was the bait for her. She was always going to end up here.” 

San tilts his head, “wow, maybe you are smarter than you look.”

Before Mingi can get another word in, though, San is starting again. “Since you’re so smart, Mingi, I should only have to say this once. Leave (Y/n) alone, especially when it comes to the matter of my relationship with her. Truly, it’s none of your business, and it makes her upset to have to choose between the two of us.” 

Mingi stares blankly back at San.

“And another thing, about Haseul— you should know to not bring that situation up in front of her. I’ll let it go this time, but if I hear about it again, I’ll report it to Hongjoong.” 

He scoffs, “scared that she’ll find out what you did?” 

“I didn’t do anything to Haseul,” San shrugs again, “you’re the one that handed her over to me, anyways. Don’t you think that you’re in the same position as me?” 

“I wouldn’t have given her to you if Hongjoong hadn’t told me to,”

“And I wouldn’t have taken her if he hadn’t told me the same.” San smiles sarcastically, “it seems we’re in agreement, then.” 

Mingi would beg to differ, but he’s really not in the mood for another argument. And his soup is getting cold. “I won’t mention Haseul to her again, and I’ll try to believe that you genuinely care for her. But I won’t trust you implicitly. And, if she ever comes to me, crying because of you, I will kill you.” 

San sticks his hand out, “promise?” 

Mingi takes it, shaking his hand, “promise.” 

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