Her Brow Furrows, Frustration Etching Itself Into The Faint Lines Of Her Forehead. It Smooths As Quickly

her brow furrows, frustration etching itself into the faint lines of her forehead. it smooths as quickly as it appears, and catherine slumps in her seat.

❝ it used to be much easier, ❞ she says, letting out a humorless laugh. ❝ i had james and project purity, then eliana. i knew where i was needed. ❞ now, her baby is grown, her husband dead and the purifier up and running, all without her interference. ❝ but now, i'm not a wife, or a mother, or even a scientist. ❞

she thinks of madison, tries for the millionth time to reconcile her with the little girl she once knew and the ambitious woman she last recalls, prior to these last few months in the institute.

❝ i hope you won't be too hard on madison, ❞ she adds quietly. ❝ she was lonely, and, well, no one knew her like me, i suppose. ❞ in another life, it might make her chuckle, to think of the stoic dr. li foregoing all rationale to recreate her best friend. ❝ we grew up together, her and i. goodness, i don't know that we were ever apart until -- ❞

she catches herself reminiscing and flashes jamie an apologetic smile.

❝ it sounded as if you and eliana have known each other for some time, too. are you from the capital wasteland? ❞

It's hard for him to deny that this was all feeling INCREDIBLY familiar, especially considering the fact that beyond the simple fact that he had already lived through experience, this had more than a little rippling impact on everyone involved. Her very presence had sent Eliana into a practically catatonic state the moment the came face to face.

HE LISTENS, something he is typically much more sparing with, but as per the special request, he was treating this as what it was. A special edge case in an otherwise largely clear experiment of how to bounce back from the apocalypse.

"It...you, you're complicated for her. Though she never told me much, the information I did gather is something that would take a NORMAL circumstance years to untangle. I want to be clear, you are of no fault in this, and despite how she might act and how...EXTREME her reaction was, she is unlikely to hold any of this against you."

He clears his throat, trying to figure out how to navigate this fully. It's a hard situation to understand, especially considering the fact that she didn't have ANY CHOICE. One could be forgiven for thinking she was right to feel overwhelmed.

"That's different, Dr. Li's mind is brilliant, and despite her flaws I have always respected her for her pragmatism when it came to science. And while she had a lapse in judgment, you're not to blame for that."

BEFORE HE CAN CONTINUE, her response comes. Purpose. It's ironic to him that PURPOSE is what she seeks answers on, when in truth even he couldn't answer that for her. He pauses once again, hands folding before him before he exhales quietly.

"...I'm afraid I can't answer that for you."

@bldrdsh said: “Let’s get you some food.” from marshal @ either kate or james :]

hands on her hips, kate lets her head hang, chin near bumping her chest as takes in a shaky breath. she should have left this to the minutemen. sanctuary hills had only been her home for a short time when the bombs fell, but that doesn't change a damn thing, because, here she is, turning her neighbors' lives to scrap, all while pretending her own home, dilapidated as it is, doesn't even exist.

she gives another glance from beneath her lashes at the family photo that elicted the reaction in the first place. she can't even remember the names of the smiling faces peering at her through broken glass and two centuries of dust.

all those people ... and not a soul to remember who they were.

marshall's voice startles her, and she stands ramrod straight. she hurriedly swipes away a few stray tears she hadn't known escaped her.

❝ lunch already? ❞ she asks with a weak smile. ❝ i was just finished here, anyway. ❞

a low rumble of thunder hums through the air. catherine swears she can feel the electricity, coiling like a snake, building around them. despite her own unease ( she never much liked storms herself, though they were few and far between in d.c. ), she keeps her expression cheerful.

❝ well, i'm no replacement for your dad, of course, but i'll sit with you, ❞ she says. ❝ you know what, how about a distraction to pass the time? why don't you tell me about yourself, rose? about your family? ❞

She pauses momentarily, glancing at the other woman as she tries to think quickly. Storms always made her so nervous, and while usually Rose was able to quell it, she'd been venturing forth further without the protective stance of her sister to make her feel more at ease.

She frowns a little, looking at the other woman for a moment before drawing in a quiet breath and rubbing the back of her neck.

"I know I know, I just...storms aren't really my favorite thing. Ever since I was a little girl, and normally my father will sit with me until I'm able to sleep properly."

when did having big guns shoved in his face start feeling like old hat? pushing that thought aside for later, james resists a roll of his eyes, slowly raising his hands to indicate he means no harm.

his leads on shaun grow colder by the day, further convoluted by the institute's silent involvement in his kidnapping.

he would be lying if he said that hasn't made him increasingly desperate.

❝ my name's james. you're lea, right? ❞ god, he hopes this is lea, and that he hasn't instead stumbled upon some wasteland lunatic. ❝ i'm looking for my son. rumor has it you might be able to help me with that. ❞

@nuclearbinds x Nate

Someone's after her; it's no one she recognizes from the Institute and, unless they brought more humans in, it means it's either a synth or someone who has nothing to do with the Institute itself. Tesla cannon ready, just to be safe, she presses the button in her belt that is meant to activate the code that'll confuse the synth and make it go away, and since it does nothing, then human it is. Maybe he's not even after her, but one can never be too safe. "Hands where I can see them or I fry you," she warns, peeking from her temporary house's window. "Who are you?"

his expression grows thoughtful, dark brows drawing together in concern. the wasteland is so complex. such nuance seldom presented itself in the institute. the scientists saw things as black and white; human and synth; worthy and unworthy.

❝ i'm sure some did die, ❞ he relents quietly. chris tries not to think of it. he hardly knew any of the other synths, sentient or otherwise. the institute never allowed them to socialize. ❝ but there are some things worse than death, aren't there? ❞ he tilts his head, eyes searching nora's. ❝ if the other option was to stay down there forever ... ❞ he trails off. ❝ i'm grateful to be alive, but it's only worthwhile out here. when i get to choose who i am. ❞

at her next question, his posture straightens, his mouth setting stubbornly.

❝ yeah, i do. ❞ who knew when liam and z1-14 would have been able to set them free? and even then, the institute would never stop seeking him out. ❝ maybe there was another way, but you clearly did what you did because you believed it was the right thing. the safe thing! ❞

he doesn't feel good about the bloodshed, would have never been able to kill to gain his own freedom, but that's why hard decisions fall upon people like nora. people who make the difficult sacrifices to protect others.

❝ it doesn't sound like it was an easy choice, either. ❞

nora holsters her pistol to her leg as soon as chris begins to talk, already aware by his tone that he means no harm and that this isn't just some plot to trick her into letting her guard down. of course, there's a part of her that remains wary, but for now he's given her enough to let her trust him. there's nothing more she'd love than to trust everyone she meets right off the bat, but experience has taught her that's not possible in this world. it's something she's sure chris will experience soon.

she listens to his explanation attentively, staying silent as she takes in all the information. he doesn't know if anyone else made it out. got rushed out in the chaos. and he thinks she ... saved him? all of them?

nora's brows furrow deeply, a look that's more irritation than confusion. it's not really targeted at him; it's a product of all the criticism she's faced, all the people telling her she made the wrong decision not to issue the evac when she feels she did the right thing. she's the general, right? it's her job to make the hard decisions, so that's what she did. she wasn't going to risk anyone in the institute hurting anyone else in the commonwealth ever again; they'd caused enough harm and their scientists had only contributed to it. they didn't deserve to live.

the risk was too high. kill the ant's nest, rid the commonwealth of the problem once and for all ... how could she trust that the people who escaped if she issued that evac wouldn't come for her or her settlements later? put her loved ones at risk? take and take and take from her until there was nothing left? no. no loose ends. no second chances. no lying awake at night wondering when or if they might attack.

"i didn't save you," nora responds quickly, sternly. "i chose not to issue an evac and killed countless others before i blew that place up." nora's brows soften somewhat, trying to piece together his opinions in her head. "you could have died if you hadn't gotten out of there in time. maybe some other synths did." it was a chance she had to take to ensure the safety of the commonwealth.

there's a brief pause as nora glances over chris again: she feels somewhat guilty for offloading this onto him, but here's a chance to finally settle on whether her decision was right vs. wrong for good. and, truthfully, over the past few weeks this decision has been tearing her apart. what hurts more is the fact that some of the people she cares about disagree so strongly ...

"do you still think i saved you?"

her lips part, but kate can't speak. shaun looks at her, indignant and scared, and it reminds her so much of james that it simply knocks the wind out of her.

even as the stranger approaches and speaks, she can't tear her gaze away. her hand lifts, as if to touch the glass again, but shaun ... the synth ... only scrambles further away.

❝ why? ❞ she finally forces out, her voice trembling. tears prick at her eyes, then trail down her cheeks. weeks of work and travel, of sleepless nights, of shoving down her grief because her baby needs her, and this is it? a synth boy in a clinical, white room, locked away like an animal in a zoo?

finally, she turns her head to the woman. something stirs in her gut, a sense of familiarity she can't quite place.

❝ who are you? and where is my baby? ❞

@nuclearbinds - for Kate from my Lea

"It's just a copy. A synth." Her mother, her real living mother, has actually managed to reach the Institute, drawn there by the little con the Institute played involving Kellogg and that synth; clearly she hasn't realized that the fake Shaun stayed in Diamond City more than a decade ago, if she thinks the copy might be her current kid. And even if she's forced herself to not think of a possible reunion, she can't help but wonder if her mother can look at the boy's features and recognize the similarities between them. "I'm sorry, you weren't supposed to see that... You also weren't supposed to be able to reach us..." She's frustrated, because the last thing she wanted was to trap her surviving parent there just when she was about to escape. She's not even ready to face her. Too much of a hassle. "That is what your child looked like years ago, under Kellogg's care. It's been a while."