A Beginning

A Beginning

Hello, and welcome to my blog.

I am Sebastian, an aspiring novelist who has been writing a book for several years now. It is my biggest passion in life and my worst fear is failure. The book follows a fifteen-year-old named Taka, a sixteen-year-old half-elf noble named Beriyl, and a mid-twenties, deeply traumatized, emotionally out of touch ex-mercenary named Arthur.

The story begins with them all at the most vulnerable points of their lives (a topic I will likely touch on and provide context to in a later post) and follows them as they make lifelong bonds and memories, and overcome countless struggles-- emotional and physical.

It is also a story of blossoming love, as Taka and Beriyl eventually find in each other what both were missing in one way or another. A story of what it means to truly find yourself, what you stand for and who you are.

For many reasons, it is a tale very, very dear and personal to me-- for reasons i'll likely explain later. (so i stop editing this one blog post over and over)

I hope that you will follow my journey (and by extension, the journey of Taka, Beriyl, and Arthur) as I talk about my book and what inspired me and my random beliefs most likely, and random excerpts im proud of as I continue polishing my book.

Thank you,

Sebastian Crowling

responding to multiple tags like i said i would (finally)

i've been busy (read: depressed and lazy) for a while now and decided that, before i start writing today i'd reply to the tags i got a while back :P

might be a bit of a long post due to that but uh...

alright, here we go (srry for stealing your formatting @jev-urisk)

✨️Headcanon Rating Tag✨️

Rules: use this headcanon generator to generate some headcanons for your OCs! How accurate are they?

Using the two main parties from Party of Three

Taka

Taka has an intense fear of people. 3/10: While Taka is a very nervous/anxious person, I wouldn't say he has a fear of people. He has a fear of social situations maybe, lol.

Taka is an extrovert. 0/10: Taka is a introvert. This ties into him not liking social situations where he's near a ton of random people, why he's so nervous wandering around Leln for the first time, and why he has a hard time sleeping on the carriage ride there. He's obviously far calmer/extroverted around his friends, but i'd say around strangers he's 100% a introvert, although if you approach him he might find it easier to open up and talk to you after a little bit.

Taka gets bullied on roblox. 4/10: Taka would be the one doing the bullying on ROBLOX. This is such an incredibly funny one to me, if Taka and Beriyl and Arthur had been born into this world instead, I 100% guarantee a few things. Taka is the kind of kid to play Fortnite and do the dances irl to piss off people. Beriyl would hate it and Taka would find that so funny. Secretly, Beriyl would actually like Fortnite and if Taka found out, he'd make him duo with him. Taka is also the kinda kid to go on TikTok and start repeating all the brainrot terms out of a weird ironic comedy, not actually having brainrot but thinking that pretending to would be funny. (Also because it would piss off Beriyl) Arthur would stop them from fighting like he already does.

Beriyl:

Beriyl gets into Twitter discourse. 10/10: 100% 100% ONE-HUNDRED-PERCENT, he is the exact type of person to be easily anger-able by pretty much anything, ESPECIALLY if he's already in a bad mood, he would one HUNDRED percent have fruitless, long arguments with random internet strangers on youtube or something lol

Beriyl voted sans in the tumblr sexyman poll. 0/10: Beriyl probably would play Undertale but I don't think he'd find sans attractive. He'd probably draw some connections from sans to Taka's sense of humor (i bet Taka would vote sans cuz he'd think it'd be funny) but idk if he'd vote sans. maybe if Taka hijacked his account and voted for sans (which i could see happening, and then them fighting about it)

Beriyl is tumblr famous. 5/10: Either Beriyl would be very popular or very unpopular, but believe he deserves to be popular. He's a very vain person for a good part of the story, so his reaction to either way sorta depends on how much growth he's undergone personality-wise. Let's say that early Beriyl would believe he deserves popularity and not have it, and if he DID have it it would massively go to his head and result in a big ego trip, and if he didn't, he'd be really mad about it. Late-stage (i hesitate to say lategame but not sure how else to describe the end of book 1 chargrowth wise... latebook? XD) Beriyl probably wouldn't care either way.

Arthur:

Arthur can't spell resturaunt. 0/10: The headcanon website misspelled restaurant. Arthur's parents were merchants and educated him as best they could. I kinda doubt he wouldn't be able to spell restaurant. Beriyl can spell it. Taka maybe. Sometimes he has trouble writing long/"big" words. Qlul and Ecirr probably could write it. Eirairr would probably scribble all over the page and start laughing when you tell him that he didn't even write anything.

Arthur has fallen asleep at their desk while working in the middle of the night. 0/10: For the most part, i'm assuming this is an AU where they were born on Earth and not in Tamalnh, but Arthur has such a crazy work ethic I imagine he'd stay up all night to the point where this would happen. I mean, for the most part, if he has something he needs to do, he will just not sleep, to the detriment of his overall health. So for that reason, I was going to say 10/10, but Arthur is the kind of person to just refuse to sleep if he feels like he has something he needs to do (i.e protect someone) so, 0/10. Maybe 1/10, but... ok, moving on

Arthur has been canceled on Twitter. 0/10 Arthur would either not use Twitter, not understand Twitter, or have an account cuz Taka told him to sign up and barely use it. I can see him maybe having a cooking twitter or looking at Gordon Ramsay or smth, but he wouldn't be cancelled.

Qlul:

Qlul is oblivous to any and all romantic interest someone may show them. 4/10: The site misspelled oblivious. Anyway... I mean, he's dating Ecirr. But I can see this going two ways, him being oblivious or him knowing more than he lets on. so due to my indecisiveness, 4/10

If Qlul was presented with an intergalactic portal, they would enter it without question. 1/10: Most likely not, it depends how it "feels" to him. Is Ecirr there? What does Ecirr say about it? What are the stakes-- what does he stand to gain/lose? He's not the impulsive type-- I can't say I can see him jumping into a portal, especially not in a world where, yaknow, orbs of destruction exist. Eirairr probably would, if he "sensed" that it wouldn't kill him. Maybe. It depends lol (i doubt i'll end up calling them that, but i imagine that in dungeons things like that do exist. yes im talking about the destruction orbs from 5e)

Qlul is very willing to eat inedible things. 0/10 No. Kaardan cuisine is sorta weird, they probably use a lot of bugs, monsters and make lots of soup/stew, but... no, Qlul isn't gonna eat rocks.

Ecirr:

Ecirr has a stuffed animal under their bed. 3/10 If he did, it'd be of the messenger ravens he and Qlul communicated with back in school, or of Qlul himself. But he'd never let anyone know-- so i'd say this is a fifty-fifty :p

Ecirr is a sleepwalker. 0/10 He's not.

Ecirr set a public school on fire and got away with it. 0/10 Ecirr would not do something like that lol, none of them would. I'm not sure "public school" even exists in my world... but anywaaayyy, on to Eirairr!

Eirairr:

Eirairr does not know what sleep is. 10/10: This is absolutely hilarious. Eirairr has never slept before in his life. Eirairr is a full-blooded elf, and does not need to sleep. While i'm sure he knows what the concept of "sleep" is, he has never personally experienced it. With that logic, you could say he does not know sleep.

Eirairr is a cry baby. (I got the sleepwalker one again and i was like....i dont wanna do duplicates, that's boring. also he can't sleep, so no. although i can see him pretending to sleepwalk to be funny, definitely in his personality to do something like that.) 0/10: No, but Taka certainly cries a lot. Just like me.... that means i'm a crybaby D:

Eirairr is great with kids. 8/10: Honestly, if Eirairr maintained his calm personality for a extended period of time, I could see him being a great babysitter. He definitely has that childish energy. So maybe he'd destroy the house with the kid. But on the off hand he controls himself, then yeah, he'd be great for both the kid and the parent. But if he doesn't... well, let's say the parent won't be very happy when they get home and both of them are climbing all over the place.

Bonus: Villain Round!!! Vitsmunir!!!

Vitsmunir:

Vitsmunir likes to eat straight coffee beans. 7/10: maybe. I could see Vitsmunir being a dark chocolate, licorice, and black coffee sort of guy... if he let himself relax and wasn't on the verge of a psychotic, murderous-rage-filled mental breakdown + panic attack every second of his life.

Vitsmunir bullies kids on roblox. 10/10: I know I said I wouldn't do duplicates but this is very funny. Yes, yes, he would. He 100% would bully people and try and feel better about himself through this. And then he'd wonder why he doesn't have any friends. :(

Vitsmunir is a simp. 0/10: I kind of feel like if he were in our world, he'd be asexual/a-romantic. And probably in prison for murder.

Okay... that was a really long one, i'm tempted to just do two posts but eh, whatever, here's the second tag thingy (again, ty jev, im stealing ur formatting XD)

✨️OC Questionnaire Tag✨️

My questions:

So you're one of those people?

Is this really where you wanted to end up?

Why can't you just.. stop?

Your questions:

Where do you see yourself in ten years?

If you could change just one thing about your current life, what would it be?

What is your favorite thing in the whole world?

I'll be answering as Beriyl Edmund Ciphre von Aschwaz from Party of Three.

For the purposes of this one, Beriyl will be his early book self. Cocky, self-indulged, and worst of all, bri'ish.

Imagine him speaking as a posh British noble, with a hint of uh... flamboyance? He's a very dramatic person. Anyway, on with the questions...

1. So you're one of those people?

What the hells do you mean by that? One of those people? If you mean, beautiful, wonderful, and much better than you, then yes! I am Beriyl Edmund Ciphre von Aschwaz, after all! So glad you noticed. Of course I'm better than a worthless commoner like yourself! Hmph.

2. Is this really where you wanted to end up?

Wh- I must say, what is it with you and all these rude questions?! What does that even mean?! I- *he pauses* ... Crossing his arms, he peers outwardly at you. Are you speaking of Taka? No, I must say... I did not wish to end up stuck in a party with a commoner like him, nor a brute like Arthur. Gods, they're so unrefined. They're so imbecilic! Hmph... yes, that is quite the apt descriptor for them. Well, I suppose, put any of lowly birth next to one of such high status like myself and they'd appear a fool next to a saint, or some such... Saint Beriyl, I do like the ring of that! Are you-?! Why are you scoffing at me?! How dare you!! I am Beriyl Edmund Ciphre von Aschwaz, and I-

3. Why can't you just.. stop?

Stop, stop what?! This entire conversation has been one of the most unpleasant I've had since I met that damnable fool, Taka! Are you as stupid as he is, or are you just trying to get on my nerves?! Hah! If anything, you should stop! Stop breathing, that is! Yes, hmm! Stop breathing near me, commoner! I, Beriyl Edmund Ciphre von Aschwaz, refuse to breathe in your disgusting commoner air! Away, away from me! Thank you!

welp, there ya go jev. told you you'd piss off Beriyl with questions like that :sob: Hope you had fun reading all that :D I certainly had fun writing it. Feel free to tag me in more of your stuff, I love answering them. It's a lot of fun, and a nice writing exercise/warm up.

Have a good day everyone :)

(For those who enjoy reading the weekly posts, i will try and have the third... or was it the fourth, out soonish.... soonTM, okay? :p)

context: claude.ai said this about my writing and it made me want to cry

i sent it like 5-6 excerpts from various parts of my book for context.

Find The Word Tag✨️

Thank you for tagging me @jev-urisk :D

My Words: Snarl, Hope, Tension, Sink (and Drown, and Gape added which i stole from your marked off words) Your Words: Friend, love, hate, exhaustive, rancor, raucous, echo

Colored for fun (and def not stealing the idea from Jev)

I will find one paragraph featuring each individual and that word. Since I only have four I'll do a couple repeats..... or i'll just steal a couple words that jev didn't use :p

I found that most of these words I didn't really use in dialogue, and finding specific ones for each person is actually rather difficult, so instead here are some assorted paragraphs that use the word.

(keeping the coloring cuz it looks nice, although it doesnt necessarily mean anything now.)

Taka, Beriyl, Arthur, Ecirr, Qlul, Eirairr

---------------------------------------------------------------------

Hope

She nodded enthusiastically. “Yes,” Then she paused. “But don’t turn me in.” She met Taka’s gaze one for one, never breaking it. He hoped this meant that she was telling the truth.

Tension

While Taka and Beriyl shrunk backward, Arthur crossed his arms, totally unfazed. “Give us the Clear Tag.” He demanded. Consumed by a sudden state of mania, the old woman lurched backward as a cackling laugh filled the air. Taka and Beriyl shared worried glances, and Arthur’s hand slowly inched toward the hilt of his longsword. Just in case. In the face of her worrying behavior, a thick air of tension had built up and hung thick above the heads of everyone present. “Okay!” She tearfully conceded, coming down from her laugh, finally.

Snarl

What the hell.

I was certain I'd used it at least once, in one of Arthur's fights....

Huh.

Sink

Suddenly, he felt his heart sink into his stomach. “Oh, fuck me.” He mumbled to himself, his voice betraying his sheer panic. In the background, the sound of a sword being sharpened played itself to the tune of true fear.

His coinpurse was missing.

Drown

The rhythmic pittering of rain hitting the floor was a raucous clamor that sought to drown out all but itself.

Gape

“Wh-“ He started, his mouth hung slightly agape. “What- what are you doing up there?” He managed, with a slight laugh.

“I am reading a book.”

“But if you were up there this whole time, why didn’t you respond sooner?”

“I apologize for that. I wanted to wait until I finished the page I was on.”

“Er, alright…”

random rant about music

I really, really love music. Music is super important to me, same as how writing is really important to me.

I hate english music and literally only listen to japanese music, because english music is really grating to me for some reason and it all sounds the same. It's all very soulless imo. Here is a playlist of basically my favorite songs:

Anyway, at a future point i will talk about songs i feel represent the people in my book best and why :D

random name origin fun time discussion:

Also pronunciations :D (I’ll edit this later and add those) (added as of 5:45 PM 6-12-24)

some new stuff added as of 6-26-24 cuz @jev-urisk tagged me :p

(my god, this post is such a poorly formatted mess. help me)

Taka (originally Aka, red, inspired by Karma Akabane)

edit 6/20/24: um wth was i talking about here? When I played Taka for the first time 5 years ago in my first dnd campaign ever (which was a very bad campaign btw, for reasons i might talk about in another note) I had "Aka" down for like 5 seconds (yes, it was based on Karma, tho) before i was like "if i add a T it sounds good" not knowing that Taka was an actual name. (or maybe subconsciously i did, but iirc it was just a "that sounds neat" decision that ended up being actually integral to him as a person, as all names should be :'D)

Pronounced: tah-kuh

low "a" like "aww"

so no, its not "TACKA" like some english speakers would probably mispronounce it. Tahkuh. Tawkuh. Taaaahhhhhkaaaaaaa

ok im sorry

idk, go watch a japanese person say "taka" thats how you say it, idk how to write pronounciations ok???

Fun fact: Taka is the Japanese word for Falcon/Hawk. Fits perfectly with his personality, his obsession with the sky, and his sheer wanderlust/desire to be “free”

Obligatory: no not Eren Jaeger “free”

Beriyl (Beryl)

pronounced: Barrel

He was my friends mage. He was very racist and a bastard person. (old, old beriyl). Beriyl and Arthur and Taka now are so very different from when I first learned about them, their original inceptions (being, well, dnd in a bad campaign) were just very different.

Ecirr (random dnd aarakocra name generator, I think I merged two names to get his full one, and changed the spelling a bit. Ecirr Roarark/Rorrark)

I played Ecirr when Qlul died in a campaign I played in like, 2020(?) I cant really remember when I added him and Qlul but they've been integral parts of my book for so long now I can't recall when I first started writing them in.

Qlul died fighting a nothic, and so I played Ecirr in an attempt to save him. I wanted to save Qlul because I felt bad for him, and my party members wanted to just leave his corpse to rot. I hated that, so I decided to play Ecirr, his childhood friend he'd been "roommates" with at the university. (I say roommates as a joke, they weren't, though they did attend a prestigious school together. The roommates joke is the "they were just roommates" gay sex joke. cuz they're dating)

Pronounced: e-sear (hard e, like eek)

Qlul Klilaark (same as Ecirr)

Pronounced: Qlol Klil ark

like, lull + q, qlull, so qlol?

"aark" is just "arc"

Klil, like "quill" with a k, and no u.

if you say it fast, kind of sounds like "qlul kalark" or "qlul klark" or "qlul quill-ark" idfk ok im bad with explaining these things

"qlul kluhark" i guess kinda another way to try and explain it XD

Ecirr was originally a DnD character who I liked alot and ended up putting into my book. He, like all of them-- both the members of Lucky Seven and Twin Feathers, have come really far.

Eirairr Eirainn

Pronounced: yer rair, yer rain

Same as Ecirr and Qlul.

I’d do my BBEGs but their names feel like spoilers to me despite them being the most interesting to me :c

(Ok fine, click if you don’t mind the villains names being revealed. One of them is probably obvious since he’s mentioned really early but the other two aren’t for a while)

Eirairr was a ranger I played in DnD. He, Qlul, and Ecirr's names were from random name generators. Specifically, the dnd random name generator. I mixed some of the names around to give it my own flair, changed a few letters, and bam.

Like Sargantas was the Sargatanas server in FFXIV, but I always misread it as Sargantas.

Pronounced: Sar-gawn-tiss

sar: like "sardines"

gawn - like gown but with an A, kind of like "dawn" with a G i guess

tiss - like "badum-tiss" for lack of a better example

Zersetsung is a German word for “power” (or was it “control”), and he’s a immortal vampire.

pronounced: (as far as i am aware...)

zur-zet-sung

with a "low" e,

uh..

ok, hold on.

Zur: like "Dur" but with a Z

Zet like "Jet" but with a Z

Sung - obvious, like how you say the word "sung" when talking about the past-tense of singing

Vitsmunir is Russian (I’m pretty sure) but I can’t remember for what

pronounced:

vits (veets)

mu (hard u, like the one at the end of the word "you")

near (like how nier is pronounced, or y'know... near from death note XD)

Fun fact: Sargantas’ soul is sheer black, Vitsmunir’s pure white, and Zersetsung golden!