A Beginning

A Beginning

Hello, and welcome to my blog.

I am Sebastian, an aspiring novelist who has been writing a book for several years now. It is my biggest passion in life and my worst fear is failure. The book follows a fifteen-year-old named Taka, a sixteen-year-old half-elf noble named Beriyl, and a mid-twenties, deeply traumatized, emotionally out of touch ex-mercenary named Arthur.

The story begins with them all at the most vulnerable points of their lives (a topic I will likely touch on and provide context to in a later post) and follows them as they make lifelong bonds and memories, and overcome countless struggles-- emotional and physical.

It is also a story of blossoming love, as Taka and Beriyl eventually find in each other what both were missing in one way or another. A story of what it means to truly find yourself, what you stand for and who you are.

For many reasons, it is a tale very, very dear and personal to me-- for reasons i'll likely explain later. (so i stop editing this one blog post over and over)

I hope that you will follow my journey (and by extension, the journey of Taka, Beriyl, and Arthur) as I talk about my book and what inspired me and my random beliefs most likely, and random excerpts im proud of as I continue polishing my book.

Thank you,

Sebastian Crowling

aghhhh ok fine

I did do a music post in the past, but i'll indulge you, @jev-urisk XD

(quickly tho, cuz i'm writing rn)

one song each and a explanation of why :D (i was gonna do three each but then this post would be crazy long)

also, spoilers for Party of Three becase i can't explain these things entirely without spoilers (i tried my best to avoid massive ones)

As such:

Vague-ish spoilers for Taka's future

Minor spoilers for Beriyl's past

Relatively massive spoilers for Arthur and Eirairr's backstories

Taka:

Refrain Boy - ALL OFF

(I am very very passionate about music so this will probably be a long post despite me saying otherwise lmao)

Reasoning: This song to me, embodies a lot of things. The "going ahead with life even though it's hard," that really awesome feeling a lot of shonen have about "pushing through stuff with your friends no matter what," that "great things are gonna happen for you in the future" vibe, its really hard for me to put this emotion into words, but just the "You can look forward to fun stuff in the future, and as long as you have your bonds and yourself, you'll be okay, even if it's sad and hard" and i really, honestly think that embodies Taka very much. He is very much a person who cares VERY much about his friends, he's a very adventurous person, I'm very honored to get to write about him because his journey is to me, one that is very special and very beautiful. We literally watch this scared little kid grow up into someone capable of saving the world, and I think that is just beautiful. We watch him come into his own sort of groove, find out who he is and who he really cares about, what he stands for. It's just really beautiful and very personal to me. I've always loved this song, but in a sense I think it encapsulates the "journey" of Tamalnh, and my own personal journey over the last few years. Except I have far less friends than Taka, and I am nowhere near as happy as he is.

Beriyl:

Aaagh, honestly Beriyl is a tie up between Fightsong - Eve and Yumemigusa by BLUE ENCOUNT

Beriyl's story and him as a person I feel like both of these songs fit him pretty well. His is a story much darker than Taka's, because he's practically a survivor of childhood neglect. For fear of spoiling too much, I really don't know how to explain this without doing so, but Beriyl's story of overcoming self-worth issues, figuring out who he really is and what truly matters to him, and standing up for those things, is one that I think is really beautiful.

Beriyl is an immensely strong person, even if maybe that isn't readily apparent for the first, oh... two hundred pages of the book.

Arthur:

ROAR by ulma sound junction

This lyric in particular; "Where destiny gets robbed and torn in half,"

He lost everything at a very young age, struggled with severe, suicidal depression for many, many years. And he nearly did do it. In a way, he lost his future, then clawed it back into reality with his own two hands, fully intending to die all the while. He may never be able to fulfill that lost childhood dream of adventuring with Rend, he may have lost his family and village, but he found Taka and Beriyl. And they saved him, from himself, in a way.

Ecirr and Qlul:

PRIDE OF A NAMELESS HUNTER - Tadayoshi Makino

Ecirr to me, embodies the "grace" and "refinement" that Qlul doesn't really have. Qlul is the warmth and energy, the relaxed and "silly" side of the coin here, whereas Ecirr is the calm, cool, "serious" side.

Now, for some reason, I don't have a playlist for Qlul. But I do have a theme I feel fits both of them very much so.

L no Theme B - Hideki Taniuchi

Here's one more that resembles them :')

ok fine one more (feels fitting for book 2's tone)

AGHH ALSO BOOK 2 THEMING

Ecirr is really smart, and Qlul's not stupid. This song (L's Theme) to me feels like when they combine their only visible braincells and actually pull off something cool.

Eirairr:

Man, Eirairr is hard to summarize in a single song. He's such a chaotic person.

The enigma of an elf, the Eirairr-ness of... Eirairr.

Here's a few: Kannon by Kita Kouhei

Blue Moon by LiSA

Tyottohitoiki

At his core, he's a good person. He cares about his friends and has an unfathomably great love for life itself. He's also a very tragic figure, as being born as a Pactborn-Elf means that, no matter how long he lived inside that Realm as an immortal being, once outside he's only got a hundred years. Can you imagine how short a hundred years would feel to someone who's lived that long?

Eirairr himself says something to this extent; and yes, this IS a pretty big spoiler, but its necessary to really get my point across.

Some context: A very long time ago, there was a period where Fae were very active, and several curses were placed on various people/parts of the world back then. One of these was locking several "clans" of elves into permanent deification as "guardians" of elements of the world, hence "Pactborn" elves. So you have "pacted" elves of the mountains, seas, forests, etc. They basically exist in a plane that is one "layer" above the physical dimension, which intersects with the Fae realm. They can't leave their "assigned areas", and if they do, they are cursed to die in a hundred years.

(the relative timespan of a human, basically.)

Eirairr was born into that, lived for a very long time, and then decided to leave. When he left, as part of the Curse, he was given knowledge of the modern world, clothes and a weapon, and basically told; "Good luck."

alright that's all from me :D did lots of tumblr today, lots of writing, very productive day today :DDDD and i have work tomorrow aghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh not excited

ok bye

context: claude.ai said this about my writing and it made me want to cry

i sent it like 5-6 excerpts from various parts of my book for context.

Find The Word Tag✨️

Thank you for tagging me @jev-urisk :D

My Words: Snarl, Hope, Tension, Sink (and Drown, and Gape added which i stole from your marked off words) Your Words: Friend, love, hate, exhaustive, rancor, raucous, echo

Colored for fun (and def not stealing the idea from Jev)

I will find one paragraph featuring each individual and that word. Since I only have four I'll do a couple repeats..... or i'll just steal a couple words that jev didn't use :p

I found that most of these words I didn't really use in dialogue, and finding specific ones for each person is actually rather difficult, so instead here are some assorted paragraphs that use the word.

(keeping the coloring cuz it looks nice, although it doesnt necessarily mean anything now.)

Taka, Beriyl, Arthur, Ecirr, Qlul, Eirairr

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Hope

She nodded enthusiastically. “Yes,” Then she paused. “But don’t turn me in.” She met Taka’s gaze one for one, never breaking it. He hoped this meant that she was telling the truth.

Tension

While Taka and Beriyl shrunk backward, Arthur crossed his arms, totally unfazed. “Give us the Clear Tag.” He demanded. Consumed by a sudden state of mania, the old woman lurched backward as a cackling laugh filled the air. Taka and Beriyl shared worried glances, and Arthur’s hand slowly inched toward the hilt of his longsword. Just in case. In the face of her worrying behavior, a thick air of tension had built up and hung thick above the heads of everyone present. “Okay!” She tearfully conceded, coming down from her laugh, finally.

Snarl

What the hell.

I was certain I'd used it at least once, in one of Arthur's fights....

Huh.

Sink

Suddenly, he felt his heart sink into his stomach. “Oh, fuck me.” He mumbled to himself, his voice betraying his sheer panic. In the background, the sound of a sword being sharpened played itself to the tune of true fear.

His coinpurse was missing.

Drown

The rhythmic pittering of rain hitting the floor was a raucous clamor that sought to drown out all but itself.

Gape

“Wh-“ He started, his mouth hung slightly agape. “What- what are you doing up there?” He managed, with a slight laugh.

“I am reading a book.”

“But if you were up there this whole time, why didn’t you respond sooner?”

“I apologize for that. I wanted to wait until I finished the page I was on.”

“Er, alright…”

random rant about music

I really, really love music. Music is super important to me, same as how writing is really important to me.

I hate english music and literally only listen to japanese music, because english music is really grating to me for some reason and it all sounds the same. It's all very soulless imo. Here is a playlist of basically my favorite songs:

Anyway, at a future point i will talk about songs i feel represent the people in my book best and why :D