Shu Porang Porang Linos

shu porang porang linos

low quality lee know gifs » 2/?

This has been in my mind all day but the thought of skz ninth member saying she could identify others with her eyes closed leaving the boys curious if she could guess who's fucking her with a blindfold, if she gets it correct she can cum

this was such an incredible ask!!!!!!!! literally one of my favourites ever. and i just cant explain how fun this was to write so thank youuu!!!!!😍

Warnings: 18+mdni!! ot8 unprotected sex, saliva, sensory play(blindfold), hair pulling, spanking, nicknames, cumshots, banter, mention of voyeurism, multiple positions, size kink(not body size;only cock size), mention of breeding, sensory play (blindfold)

wc: 3.7k

~~~~~~

"Go on then," Seungmin says, gesturing to the empty couch situated perfectly in the middle of the room.

"This is going to be too easy. Being around you guys all the time, I know all your tells," you say, plopping down on the dorm's shared couch.

Here are the rules:

No members talking

No members moaning

No kissing

Once you guess it right, they pull out

Rewards if you win:

All members get to finish on you

You get to cum with their help

You're in the 3racha dorm surrounded by your 8 other members whose eyes are glistening from curiosity at what's about to unfold. You'd made a bet, of course you'd made a bet, that you would be able to identify which member was fucking you, no exceptions. They, of course, denied that was possible. So, here you are lying half naked, waiting to prove them all wrong.

Chan steps to you, kneeling down beside the couch, fingertips hanging off the side. His eyes are searching yours for any glimmer of hesitancy - any second thoughts. There of course was none. The slow burn of his stare makes a shiver run over you and you can see the wheels turning in his mind, you just wish you could pin down those exact thoughts.

"Felix? Blindfold." Chan raises his hand behind him, anticipating the cloth but not taking his heated eyes off of you.

You smile inwardly, knowing you're sure that you've gotten yourself into the best situation you could have. They're all hot, gorgeous even, men in their 20's ready to fuck you dumb over a bet. Their sex drives high, they're ready to dump load after load and that thought does not leave your cunt dry to say the least.

You've heard and seen all these men make themselves cum over and over again. The walls aren't that thick. But whether they know that is another story.

Now you're going to be getting a taste of what it's like to be on the other side of those walls. You can't help the elation that slides up your throat. These are your other 8 members. You've seen each other at your lowest and your highest, and now you wonder how this bet may play out in the group dynamics.

Who knows, it might just be the best thing you all could have done together...

Felix gives the black fabric to a patiently waiting Chan.

Changbin's giggle echoes through the room as you wink at him. He's just too cute.

"Bin, I'm cumming for you first." You smirk as you succumb to the darkness that is the blindfold taking away your vision. Blocking your most vital sense.

Changbin huffs out a clearly sexually frustrated sigh as he runs his hand through his hair. You hadn't even begun to think how even just the idea of this happening might have the members' imaginations running.

"Not gonna know which one of us is first though, angel," Hyunjin responds with a soft tease in his tone, close enough for you to hear the little whisper in his breath.

"Angel? Oh, careful Hyune...After that nickname paired with your cock, I might just fall in love."

"Everyone shut up this is taking forever," Seungmin says deadpan, flipping off the light. He was always impatient.

"You idiot she's blindfolded, we don't need them all off" Lee Know says, "she can't see anything anyway."

"You do it then," Seungmin bites back at Lee Know playfully.

"Boys, boys, let's all just simmer down hm? Keep this a zen fucking zone."

Han gets up, increasing the light in the room with the dimmer switch. Hannie - ever so attentive.

The room is silent, members grinding their teeth, stretching their fingers, waiting for your cue, presumably.

"We just gonna sit here chatting boys? Or is someone gonna stick their cock into me? I'm ready to win a bet."

The room bustles, voices whispering and winding to a halt as the first contestant climbs over you.

The couch shifts under you like a ship listing in the deep ocean.

Your back is supported on the couch, blindfold secured around your head, panties still on but already showing a thick wet spot.

A chill of self-consciousness floods you just for a second before it's replaced by the confidence of having your 8 members focused fully on you as they wait to fuck you in turns.

The first mystery man's hands slide the fabric down your legs, exposing your cunt to all 8 of your members. You feel so bare, so vulnerable, but so goddamn powerful. You can almost hear their hard swallows as all their eyes are glued on you, their cocks tripling in size in anticipation.

"Someone put it in," you say, tapping your fingers on your chin like you're bored.

Suddenly you're breached, their length sliding in effortlessly into your wet cunt. Your walls immediately shiver around the foreign feeling, clamping down. They're so deep it feels like a bubble might just pop deep inside your belly. The member's hips stop halfway as a gasp rips from your chest, an electricity running to your fingertips.

You stammer, "b-big," as their hands caress you, rubbing gentle circles over your skin, complimenting the deep, slow strokes. Their hands are large, fingers thin but sculpted so beautifully. He slides the rest of the way in, saliva dripping out of his mouth onto your tits. The warm liquid splashes onto your peaked nipples as their head dips down just to swirl it in circles with their tongue.

"H-Hyune!" you yelp mid-moan, knowing there's no way in hell that's not him.

"Fuck how?" Hyun says, stopping his movements and reluctantly pulling out.

You grasp your tummy as the removal feels so sudden, leaving you empty once more.

"You and your oral fixation baby, you're a deliciously messy, messy fuck," you say pinching your nipples, the wetness still stimulating you.

It's silent again as he climbs off the couch and another member replaces him.

You feel your cunt clench and flutter as you wait to be filled again.

The next mystery member teases his thick satiny tip in and out of you, inching himself in and then pulling out. The stretch is even bigger than Hyune, narrowing down your options to just a few.

"S-so p-patient," you exhale, pondering a few members that could bare minimum fit the category of patient.

He sinks in, pressing his chest firmly onto yours, his shirt blocking skin to skin contact. Your back arches as you adjust to the size of him as he bottoms out.

"F-fuck" falls out of your mouth as his hips pull back just to jolt forward again.

"Mmm, n-needs to feel close to who he's fucking," you pant, trying your best to focus on the task at hand.

He hits your spot immediately, his thrusts gentle but deep.

"Channie baby," you say in confidence. "F-feel you pushing into my c-cervix, can't not think of b-breeding can you?"

With a huffed laugh, he pulls out, leaving you empty and aching once more.

"Yep," he says, nodding his head and swiping his forehead in defeat. He starts to speak, likely wondering how you know he thinks of breeding all the time, but he stops his train of thought.

Just then you visibly shiver on the couch, thinking of all the times Chan has thought of breeding you. Sneaking into your room at night, just to fill you with his cum.

"Fuck," you hear a distant voice mumble in response to your body writhing.

The next member handles your frame differently, a little faster, planting you flat on your stomach.

He climbs over you, not wasting any time before bullying his cock into you. He's placed your legs close together, so when he slides in it feels like your cunt expands ten-fold, pressure building like it's your first time.

You notice he's a little thinner than the other two, the new angle puzzling you as to who it could be. You feel him pull out and plunge back in, as you wait for his tell.

You were puzzled for another minute, little moans running out of your mouth. Confusion subsides once his fingers grab your waist, peppering kisses over your hot skin wrapping around your waist. He's not so much thrusting anymore as rutting into you, his breath hot on your neck. He's needy, borderline insatiable. He's fast with his rutting, like he's speeding to get to the finish line.

Then it hits you.

"Jeongin," floats out of your mouth gently as the rhythm of his hips seems to have hypnotized you.

His pelvis continues pressing into you desperately as your ass cushions his every rut, a loud moan now breaking out from his throat in agreement.

"N-needy, just as I thought, still fucking me even after it's over, you say, chuckling.

You hear him puff out air, hands squeezing your skin trying to convince himself to pull out. Finally, he musters up the strength to slide out of you and off the couch.

"Fuck she's tight, how'd you guys stop?" he asks, panting.

"Number 4 here we go, my cunt needs more." You're feeling needy yourself, but you'd never admit it.

This member wants you leaning over the couch, ass in the air, your elbows just resting on the back of the couch, barely stable.

A loud smack lands on your ass, jolting you forward. You hiss from the sting, the deliciously painful bliss of it just as he nestles his silky tip into your gooey cunt.

"Lee Know," you get out before you even feel him fully penetrate you. It was too easy.

He pauses his movements as Chan's voice sounds.

"Are you sure?" Chan asks, trying to get into your head.

"Y-yes," you say right as the 4th member slides into you fully, not letting you adjust to his size.

His hands are bound in your hair as his hips speed up, his cock knocking into your spot with lightning speed, the intensity feeling like he's about to tip over a glass full of water.

"F-fuck Minho, m-more," you say before you can filter it out of your mouth.

"More?" Lee Know says, a smug tone painting the letters as he gives your ass another slap.

"Oh really angel? He gets to keep fucking you?" Hyunjin says, attitude thick in his silky voice.

That seems to snap you back to the reality of the situation as you swallow hard.

"Minho," you say, signaling him to, unfortunately, pull out.

He retreats with a growl, clearly frustrated from lack of finishing.

"You're intriguing Y/n."

"M-more than just your ninth member, I'm like a seer of all things," you say, snaking your head around towards where the now mumbling voices are coming from.

Your body is starting to tremble, the lack of your vision unlocking and magnifying all other senses within your body. Each touch from them is more rounded, each sound is sharper, you feel like a goddamn vampire with supernatural senses.

Hands grab you once more, pulling you down onto the cushion but keeping you slouched facing the front of the couch. You yelp from the surprise of changing positions so quickly, your hair getting messier by the second.

"Ooh surprises, I love surprises," you say just as the new member's warm hands hold your legs open in a wide v-shape in the air.

His rounded tip dips in once, twice, before sending all his weight into your cunt at once. The stretch was obvious.

A blood curdling moan rips out of you at the weight of the thrusts he's giving you. His hips are at a different angle than the others before him, his hips waving in an effortless thrust; one that scoops out your insides in the most intoxicating way. The smooth thrusts angle upwards, massaging your sweet spot that makes your eyes roll back.

You get lost in the rhythm he's giving you, not wanting your blissed out state to stop.

Suddenly you hear Minho clear his throat, snapping you back to reality.

"H-heavy c-cock, f-fucking incredible stroke game, wants me pliable...B-Binnie I know that's you...sp-splitting me in two."

Your cunt is pulsing around him, the stretch stinging so good your toes curl so hard, threatening to lose feeling.

He pulls out and you reflexively whine, "t-too fast." You trip over the words as your cunt feels utterly abandoned.

"Y/n, you're something, you know that?" Binnie says still stroking his hardened cock as he assumes his place next to the other members.

"'M aching." Your voice is thinner this time, like you're slowly slipping into a dream. You've nearly forgotten all about the bet, now you just have tunnel vision for your own release.

You were right, it was the best decision you could have made - doing this bet. But it was also torture having each member pull out when all you really wanted was to say fuck the bet and let them all have their way with you.

But your pride was not letting up.

The 6th member interrupts your thought as you're positioned onto your back, flat. The new set of hands press your wrists above your head, their fingers gentle given the sudden movement.

The new position makes your teeth capture your lips, tugging hard.

He takes a second to get comfortable, cock vibrating as he trembles from the pleasure of nudging his cock inside of you. He bottoms out in one thrust, pausing to collect himself once in.

All movements on his end have ceased, like he's trying so hard to control himself.

You don't even need one more thrust to know who that is.

"H-Hannie baby, you're trying so hard n-not to ruin me or yourself by cumming right...now."

You hear a hiccupped moan flutter from his pretty lips as he pulls out like he's caught fire.

"F-fuck," he says, turning away and closing his eyes to stave off the impending orgasm.

"Cute," Felix says breaking the silence that has droned on since you started this whole thing. "You look like you're actually gonna splatter cum all over yourself right now."

"H-hey you don't understand how w-warm sh-," Han retorts, but trails off as you hear him bite down on his hand.

You chuckle, amused by his lack of control. How his tip is just dripping with precum ready to explode.

"Yeah Hannie, I know you can't help it baby, m'just wanna take care of you." You say it with a little twist in your voice like you're egging him on.

Your body convulses suddenly, not long away from an orgasm ripping through you from the constant friction you've endured. You shut your lips tight, trying to calm the storm inside of you.

"N-no one slide in yet, or I'll cum."

"See I'm not the only one!" Han tries to defend himself.

"Y-yeah but you haven't just had 6 cocks in you," you laugh and can just sense the redness creeping into his cheeks.

Your members give you a minute to suppress the feeling in your stomach threatening to tear you apart.

"Okay, go," you say, ready for more.

Two more, you can do this, you coach yourself internally.

The next mystery member wants you on your hands and knees but still on the couch. A caress of their soft hands on your ass has you grinding back to get more.

"Mmm already making me beg...okay, I see you number 7."

They spread your ass cheeks before circling their tip on your stretched out cunt. He slides his cock up to your other, much tighter hole. He alternates nudging your sensitive holes, his hand massaging your ass in harsh circles.

With a grip on your hips, his whole length enters you. He's big, just like the rest, but there's a lean to his cock that you feel, prodding you in a new, gorgeous corner of your walls.

His fingers are digging into your skin hard, but his thrusts are just steadily increasing.

"Patient too, but wants their way with me," you whisper, circling your ass backwards to catch him deeper.

"Seungminnie you just wanna fuck me like your little pup don't you?"

He stills.

"C'mon Y/n. H-how?" he says, utterly shocked but still pumping you as you've grabbed his wrist now to try and keep him inside.

"I've heard you fuck your fist moaning. 'Such a desperate pup," You mimic him with a low growl just like you've heard many, many times.

"You like watching me like a perv?" Seungmin teases.

"You can watch me anytime Seungminnie, might even let you help."

You can hear his head shaking through the lazy corners of his laugh at your bold statement.

He gives your ass a little slap before climbing back off the couch, joining the others.

"Last one. Then you can cum." Chan says, his voice shaky from his own stimulation it seemed.

Member 8 wants you back on your stomach but rather than take you flat, he tucks a pillow under your hips to raise them a few inches.

"F-Felix baby, why even bother? I know it's you," you say through a very tired voice.

You hadn't realized how much they'd drain you one after another.

"You wanna cum don't you? Gotta guess all of us sweetheart," he says in a thick, deep Aussie accent that resonates in your ears and travels right back down to your core.

"Fuck Felix," you pant, feeling that rubber band tighten in your stomach again. "Don't play with me, its been a long night."

He adjusts the pillow once more, bending down to whisper by your ear, "might want to hold on sweetheart."

Reflexively, you press your ass towards him more, wrapping your fingers around the pillow beneath you.

"Just...like," he says, sliding the first inch in, before bottoming out with a flick of his hips, "that."

"Mmm" you hum. "Lixie, the t-type to look innocent but fuck you d-dumb," you say, your body jolting with each harsh thrust of his hips.

He speeds up not wasting any time in getting you both to your highs. Being the last member to go, he doesn't seem to be worried about pushing either of you too far.

"Wanna c-cum on your cock L-Lixie."

You know it might not be fair, to only let Lixie be the one to bring you over the edge, and on his cock nonetheless, but you thought you might die if another one pulled out of you not letting you release on them.

"I need to cum on c-cock."

Felix grabs the blindfold, pushing it off of your head and your eyes blur, colors looking more contrasting than you remember.

Blinking to adjust to the light, you see all 8 of your members stroking their cocks above you.

"What do you think hm?" Felix addresses the members. "Should we let her cum on my cock?"

"I-I won, I choose," you say through your teeth, feeling like you might explode if you don't get to cum soon.

"She's right, let our little bunny choose," Changbin says, kneeling now, stroking his cock at a new angle.

"W-want to be on top," you say.

You're straddling Felix now, reverse cowgirl as you watch the members mouths open, tongues swiping their lips, pained pleasured expressions painting their features.

You reach out, feeling around each one, going from member to member, running your shaky hand over their leaking cocks.

Never would you have guessed you'd ever be in this situation, having all 8 of your members wide eyed and at the mercy of your cunt.

And it felt fucking phenomenal.

Their eyes are all mesmerized by you, Felix's eyes glued to your ass bouncing up and down on his cock. His head is thrown back, his pouty mouth open in awe.

You ride him a little harder, his cock hitting your spot as your clit goes haywire from stimulation.

"Fuck m'gonna cum," you say, fingers dragging on Felix's thighs as you feel the rubber band finally snap deep in your belly.

As the wave washes over you, Hyunjin kneels in front of you beside Changbin, suctioning his puffy, warm lips over your nipple. The slight sting from how hard he's sucking makes you scream out as Felix drills you from beneath, helping you ride out your high.

Lee Know fists your hair, yanking your head back

"That's it kitten, 8 cocks enough for you?" he menaces.

Your body finally gives out as Felix and Chan hold your body up, preventing you from toppling over. Your muscles are seized with pleasure, your eyes closed in bliss.

"Fuck Y/n, babygirl, we've got you," Chan says, hands on your waist as your body continues undulating.

You make it a mission to make eye contact with each member as they furiously pump their cocks.

Hyunjin is the first to let go, the fixation on your breast tipping him over the edge. His mouth is sucking your nipple still as he shoots out ropes of warm cum on your chest and stomach.

The sight of him falling apart seems to trigger the rest of the members as they crowd around you releasing onto your sweaty, glistening skin nearly one right after the other.

Moans fill the room as they cum to the scene of the aftermath of your orgasm, as your body still jerks, electricity still running through you.

Felix taps your ass, "u-up m'gonna cum." He lifts you, counting on Chan and Lee Know to leverage your weight as you shoot up off of Felix's cock like a rocket. You bend forward, both members helping you to plant your hands on the floor so that you don't fall on your face.

A deep groan followed by heavy pants come from Felix as he empties himself on your back and ass, his warm cum making designs on your beautiful skin.

The front of your body is all sticky, cum falling off your skin onto the floor from the mess the guys made on you.

"Holy shit," Seungmin says, lying flat on the floor, spent.

Felix helps you upright and helps you off of his lap. "Y/n, fuck" Felix says, eyes looking like that definitely will not be the last time that happens.

You try to stand but your legs feel injected with jelly.

Chan catches your misstep. "Woah Y/n, you good?"

"See I told you, I know all your tells boys," you say, so pleased with yourself and utterly satisfied.

In my dreams

Seungmin x reader. (fake) enemies to lovers. my interpretation of in my dreams by tearliner, love X stereo.

Seungmin has never liked you. You never understood why, but you were slowly coming to terms with it. However, you gradually come to learn that there is more to his feelings than what meets the eye.

skz song series

cw: reader has anxiety and deals with lots of self-doubt and insecurities.

a.n: the end of our skz song series!! and a pretty personal final fic, this one is based on my own experience with anxiety, so it might differ for everyone :) thank you for reading as always <3

You watch, a soft smile on your face as two little girls play with one another in the playground. It reminds you of simpler times, when you could just walk up to another human and become friends with them instantly.

But reality is much more challenging, especially for someone like you, constantly plagued by their anxious thoughts.

Anxiety didn't tiptoe into your life, one drop at a time so you'd get accustomed to its overwhelming presence. Instead, you woke up one day and it barged into you, through cracks and dents you didn't even know existed in your being, and then it made itself a permanent home within the confines of your heart.

You never truly learned how to live with this parasite feeding off your soul, draining you completely until you became a mere shell of who you once were. You never fully adjusted to the invisible hands choking you from within, to the voice nagging you in the back of your mind, telling you that something horrible was bound to happen.

Because nothing ever went wrong, day after day, nothing bad happened. And yet, the feeling of dread persisted and lingered until you started to believe that the problem was you.

And once you opened the door to self-doubt, you could never fully close it again.

You're too overwhelmed, too nervous, too much of everything bad. Your conversations are scrutinized, down to every syllable you uttered, to the way you smiled and how you laughed. The interactions might differ but the regret that haunts you after is the same.

So, you diluted your being, in an effort to be more acceptable, easier in the lives of the people around you. You believed that if you pleased everyone you ever encoutered then at the end you must satisfy yourself too.

You sigh softly, drumming your fingers along your knee. You’re starting a new year in college tomorrow. Your first one wasn't exceptional by any means. Aileen, the girl who sat beside you from time to time was nice, and you grabbed coffee sometimes as you prepared for your exams together. But she had other friends, ones she's much closer to, ones she invited to her birthday party, ones who she didn't simply fill her free time with.

You shake your head, putting a stop to the thoughts in your head before they get too much once again, pushing you over an edge you don't want to be in right now. 

You'll try harder this year. You'll be okay, for once.

≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋

Your professor Lee is scribbling something on the large whiteboard, as he waits for the class to fill up. Someone sits next to you, and the smell of their cologne wafts to your nose- hints of vanilla and wood seemingly calming down your nerves. You quickly take a glance at them, to find a guy with long brown hair and freckles dusting his cheeks. He's taking out his notepad from his bag, and you smile at the chick keychain he has on it. He catches you looking and you quickly avert your gaze, heat creeping up your cheeks. 

"Hi, I'm Felix," he greets enthusiastically, and you turn your head slowly to be met with his wide grin. It softens his features, making his eyes turn into moon crescents. You envy his ability to smile without overthinking how he looks. 

"Yn," you introduce back, and he nods, the grin still etched on his face. "You were in my Economics class last year, no?" he asks and you tilt your head to the side, as you mull over his question.

"I was but I don't remember seeing you," you admit sheepishly and he waves a hand in the air, not bothered the least by your words. 

"It's okay, I just remembered your presentation on Inflation. I finally understood why we can't just print more money," he admits with a chuckle, and you giggle against your will. 

"I don't blame you, it sounds like an easy solution," you agree, and his eyes widen. 

"Right! when I tell my friends they just stare at me in disappointment."

You laugh at his adorable pout, an unfamiliar warmth stirring within your chest. He's nice. 

"I'm glad I helped you then, I was so nervous presenting it," you clear your throat as he smiles impressively at you. "Really? I couldn’t tell at all." 

Mr. Lee calls for your attention and you both turn your heads back to the board. You couldn’t really focus, Felix’s words echoing in your head like a broken mantra- he couldn’t tell you were nervous. A sudden relief dawns on you at the possibility that, maybe, not everyone is aware of the neverending storm raging within you, threatening to drown you at any giving moment.

≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋

"Movie night at my dorm?" Felix proposes as he packs up his bag, your two hours long class finally done.

"Will Seungmin be there?" you ask, a slight edge to your voice and Felix pauses, shaking his head at you.

"Yn, you're overreacting. I promise he doesn't hate you."

"Have you ever seen him smiling at me?" you ask, arching your eyebrow expectantly at him. He stays silent and you wiggle your finger in the air. "Exactly! Please tell me he won't be there."

"About that... He's helping me bake the cookies," Felix smiles sheepishly and you groan, falling dramatically on your seat.

"I’m not coming."

"But the cookies," Felix pouts, and the promise of the chewy baked goods is so enticing it makes you second-guess your decision.

"The cookies...," you whine, and Felix giggles grabbing your hand to pull you up.

"I’ll see you at 5?"

"Yes," you concede, a small smile on your lips. You wait until Felix bids you goodbye for it to finally slip from your face.

Seungmin has never liked you, from the moment Felix introduced you to him. You still remember it clear as day, the way his eyes slightly widened when they fell on you, before narrowing down. How he didn't utter a single word when Felix left you both alone to get your drinks. Your panic grew as an uncomfortable silence reigned on the both of you, and you racked your brain for something to say to cut through that eerie quiet.  

"Seungmin, right?" you asked, a bit too cheerfully, and you winced inwardly at your tone. He didn't reply, only humming back. It was so faint you wouldn't have caught it had you not been staring at him intently.

"What's your major?" Your voice cracked.

"Computer science." He replied curtly, and you waited patiently, expecting him to return the question. He didn't. And you shifted awkwardly from one foot to another. Maybe he just didn't do well with strangers. Maybe he wasn't a chatty person, to complement Felix's extroverted nature.

But you were wrong. You watched in complete astonishment as he teased Felix relentlessly, a wide smile on his face. It made his eyes soften, a newfound fondness itching itself on his expressions. He laughed and he joked and you felt yourself shrink more and more, this way he wouldn't notice you anymore, wouldn't glare at you as if you did something horribly wrong to him.

Felix tried to include you as best as he could in their conversation, but you tuned it out. It was hard to focus on their talk when there was a tumultuous one ongoing in your mind. Seungmin's behavior just further cemented every horrible idea you held about yourself. There is something wrong about you, and he can see it. You may have fooled Felix but you didn't fool Seungmin. If you were him you wouldn't talk to you either.

Every encounter with Seungmin since then left you feeling fifteen years old again, in a classroom full of unkind eyes zeroed on you. You tried to talk about his interests, to string along a normal conversation, one that would reassure that your first encounter was a wrongful impression.

But he did not like talking to you, only offering short replies in response. It’s as if his tongue was tied in your response, and in return it only magnified the knot in your stomach. You went through every conversation with him a million times in your head, trying to pinpoint what exactly went wrong. What warranted him to be so silent in your presence, and yours only, as if you weren’t worthy of a simple conversation. And the answer always tied back to you.

So, you’ve been avoiding him like the plague for the past month, sparing him the chore that is existing near you. It was particularly hard since Felix was his best friend and roommate, and surprisingly he actually enjoyed spending time with you. Still, you couldn’t help but think that it was only a matter of time before Felix started to hate you too.  

≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋

"You're moving too much," Seungmin chastises and you freeze in your place at his words. You are sitting on the couch of Felix’s dorm later on that day, a horror movie playing in the small TV before you. Felix decided to lay on the floor, buried in a pool of yellow blankets, and a long pillow that weirdly had the picture of one of their friends printed on it. "It's my safety net," he explained and you didn't question him any further.

For some reason, Seungmin decided to sit next to you, instead of the opposing couch. Granted, he can see the TV more clearly from here, still this is the first time he willingly went somewhere near you, let alone talked to you.

You decide to ignore him, too focused on predicting the next jump scare, your feet tapping the floor furiously. But still, it happens so abruptly, eliciting a startled gasp from you, anf you clutch the edge of the couch even tighter.  

"Close your eyes," Seungmin speaks suddenly and you raise an eyebrow at him, confused. 

"There is a jump scare coming soon," he clears his throat, "just... close your eyes if you don't want to see it." 

You comply without much thought and soon enough, you can hear a shrill scream coming from the screen. He was right. 

"It passed," he says softly, and you tentatively open your eyes once again. There is a foreign expression on Seungmin's face, one you haven't seen before, but it passes as quickly as it came, like a dream slipping between your fingers as soon as you wake up. 

"How did you know?" you ask, hugging your knees tightly to your chest. 

"I already watched this movie."

"Really? Why are you watching it again?"

"Because. I had nothing better to do," he says, almost defensively, his hand now covering his mouth as if he had to physically stop the words from spilling out. 

You don't reply, turning back to look at the screen. Seungmin doesn't tell you when a jump scare is coming next, he simply taps your arm, and you close your eyes on cue. 

His hand brushing against your bare skin feels weird, not uncomfortable by any means, but it still is a foreign sensation. You didn't know he had such soft hands, and you always imagined them to be cold. But they are warm, and you wonder what other things about Seungmin you've been wrong about.

≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋

"I'm so tired," Felix groans, laying his head on your shoulder and you giggle, patting his head in mock sympathy. It's been three months since the start of your year, which means that the assignments are starting to pile up on you all.

"Me too," you sigh, and Seungmin stays silent next to you. Felix dragged you both to this coffeeshop, a little outing to recharge his spirit, as he texted you. You're slowly getting used to Seungmin's brooding presence. He talks to you a little more, even cracking a few jokes here and there. But you’re still wary of him. You keep your guard up just in case he forcefully brings a mirror to your face once again, reminding you of everything you despise about yourself.

"I'll go order, it's my treat. Pick a place for us?" Felix says and you nod, walking ahead of Seungmin towards a table near the back.

You sit down first, and Seungmin follows second, sitting right across from you. You quickly bring out your phone, scrolling mindlessly through the apps to distract yourself from the man in front of you.

"You have a presentation tomorrow, right?" Seungmin speaks up, startling you, and you slowly put your phone down.

"Yes, how did you know?"

"Felix told me that it makes up 25% of your grade. Are you nervous?"

"A little," you admit, even though ‘a little’ didn't even begin to cover it.

"Don't be. You'll do well," he says, a hint of a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. You almost feel as if you've imagined it before it dissipates.

"Thank you," you nod, as Felix brings the tray down your table.

"Is this for me?" you ask tentatively, pointing to the strawberry milkshake, a sore thumb sticking out between the iced americano, and the hazelnut Frappuccino, Seungmin’s and Felix’s respective go to orders.

"They got the order wrong. I got you an iced matcha," Felix pouts, double checking his receipt.

"It's okay," you smile slightly. There was nothing you despised more than having to change up your order.

"You don't want to drink this," Seungmin says, staring at you expectantly and you wave your hand in the air dismissively. "I don't mind."

Seungmin stands up, grabbing the drink from your hand before taking the receipt from the table. He goes to the counter and you watch in astonishment as he comes back, a green drink in hand this time.

"Here," he hands you your cup, before grabbing his own and sipping from it. Your drink is cold, but the warm tingles spreading through your being at his sweet gesture outweigh any other feeling.

≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋

Talking in front of 267 people never gets easier.

You memorized your presentation; you rehearsed it so much you could probably recite it with your eyes closed. Yet, the nerves still found a way to weave themselves inside you. Your hands were shaking, so much you couldn't even stare at the notes you prepared. Your palms were sweaty, blood rushing rapidly to your ears, tuning out your voice as you spoke.

You can’t even recall what you said exactly, it’s as if your body had a mind of its own, your mouth moving itself without you commanding it. You aren’t sure how it was, but someone smiled at you reassuringly from the first row, and the professor clapped, so you assume you did okay.

The class finally ends, your nerves slowly dissipating and leaving in their trail an excruciating exhaustion. You rub your eyes tiredly, as you slowly walk out of the door, before stopping in your tracks when you notice Seungmin leaning against the wall, hands buried in his varsity jacket.

His eyes are closed, a pair of earphones dangling across his chest. But then, as if he feels you looking at him, he opens his eyes, locking his gaze on you. You stay put in your place as he walks to you, his bag loosely hanging from his shoulder. He hooks his thumb underneath the strap, keeping it in place

"How was it?" he questions, and it takes you a few seconds to register what he was asking about. Your presentation. Was he waiting for you?

"I think I did well?" you reply, but it comes out more of a question to which he giggles softly.

"Are you asking me?" he teases and you roll your eyes playfully. "I did well," you repeat and he smiles, nodding a bit. "I’m sure you did. Here." He opens his bag, taking out your favorite chocolate bar from it- it had bits of caramelized pistachio and almonds in it. Seungmin doesn’t like it, he prefers plain milk chocolate, as Felix told you one day.

"Eat this, I ended up buying two by mistake, I still have an extra one at the dorm." You grab it from his hands, and he quickly leaves before you could properly thank him.

≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋≋

You always dread the days you'd wake up with a heavy weight crushing your chest.

You try to distract yourself, try to focus in class and take notes. You try to laugh at Felix's jokes and savor the brownies he just brought you. But you can't. It feels as if you're a cup filled to the brim, each passing second bringing you closer to when that fateful drop would finally make you overflow. And you could do nothing but watch yourself unravel.

Seungmin's eyes never leave you, and it only makes your anxiety spike. It feels as if he's peering inside your soul, witnessing how a cord ties itself around your throat, making it impossible for you to breathe. You can't speak anymore, every word you say threatening to make tears spill out of your eyes. You aren't sure you can make them stop if they ever start falling.

Nothing happened, nothing's happening, you try to remind yourself. But you are scratching your hand incessantly, and you feel an overwhelming need to flee. To run away, somewhere where only you would witness the display of your broken soul. So you sputter a meek excuse, and then you stand up and head to your dorm.

It's raining outside, and you don't have an umbrella. But you are grateful for it, since the rain mingles with your salty tears, shielding them from the curious eyes of the people passing by. You need to get home, you need to hide somewhere and you need to remember how to breathe-

"Yn," a hand grabs your forearm and you startle, instinctively taking two hurried steps back. It's Seungmin. He removed his blue hoodie and he's now placing it over both of your heads.

"What are you doing? You'll get sick," he sounds mad, and you can't take his disappointed tone anymore.

"I'm having a bad day and I don't need you to make it worse," you say, startling yourself with the raw emotion in your voice.

He physically recoils from your words, his arms faltering as he gazes at you, a wounded look in his eyes. "I make your days worse?" he asks quietly and his voice sounds so small, you can't help the regret that courses through you.

"Come on, Seungmin," you chuckle warily, "don't you hate me?"

"No?"

"Hate is a strong word, okay. You dislike me."

"I don't. Why would you think that?"

"Because you never wanted to talk to me, from the moment we met. And it wouldn't matter if you were this way with everyone, but it's only me. And you make me feel so small each time I'm around you," you ramble angrily, as Seungmin's eyes widen with each passing second.

"Yn, yn, I don't- I didn't know you felt this way, but I don't hate you. I truly don't, I promise you," he's panicking, voice growing higher with each word, and you feel a sudden embarrassment flood your being for lashing out at him.

You don't know what to say and he sighs, looking up at the cloudy sky before meeting your eyes once again.

"This is embarrassing, God, um..." he places his hoodie on top of your head before running a hand through his face. "I don't talk to you because you make me nervous." 

"I do?"

"Yes. A lot," he chuckles, a pink hue tinting his cheeks. "I just... I find you very interesting, and funny, and I like watching you, not in a creepy way, my God what am I saying," he whines, hiding his face in his hands and you can't help the giggle that escapes your mouth.

"Don't laugh," he pouts and you nod, willing the smile to disappear from your face. 

"I like watching you exist. Just laugh and smile and talk. You look very pretty doing it. I just don't know how to deal with it. That's on me."

This time the smile is effectively gone from your face. The weight of his confession distracting you from the turmoil of emotions that swirled within you.

"I'm sorry, for making you feel that way. I never meant to. For what it's worth, you make me feel like a small kid again, as if I'm having a crush for the first time." 

A fresh wave of tears brims in your waterline, and Seungmin's eyes soften at the sight.

"Please don't cry," he says, gently wiping the rain droplets from your cheeks. "I don't hate you, I think I like you too much and that's the problem." 

I'm sorry I misjudged you, until you wiped my tears off away

"Okay," you say quietly, your mind not yet registering what he said, too busy focusing on his hands on your face. You can't believe you've ever felt invisible because of Seungmin, when he's looking at you like you're the most precious being in the world. 

"You had a bad day?" he asks, his knuckles brushing against your cheek tenderly, and you nod, silently. 

"Would you like a hug?" he asks, and you nod again. A hug sounded nice. 

He steps forward, wrapping his arms around you. His t-shirt is cold, clinging to his now wet skin. But a surprising warmth emanates from his chest, shielding you from the pouring rain- it travels from his body to yours, as if it's a familiar path, one it underwent a million times before. His hand finds your back, and he pats it gently, following a soothing rythme, one you try to sync your breathing to. "You did well," he whispers, "you always do well," and his words feel like a patch of shade on a scorching day.

You exhale softly, tightening your arms around his waist. You think you can stay here, for a while. You could rest in Seungmin, now and tomorrow, and maybe for the following months. If he still likes you this much. 

Bonus 

"I'm ready," Seungmin says, his soft hair tickling your bare skin. He's laying on top of your stomach, black tie undone, a piece of crumpled paper in his hands. You can tell he's nervous, with the way he looks up at the ceiling, avoiding your gaze. You lean down, pressing a sweet kiss to the top of his head. He closes his eyes, his hold on the yellowed paper slightly faltering.

"I'm all ears," you whisper, and he smiles softly at you, before looking at his written vows- the ones you decided to read to each other after your wedding ceremony, just the two of you, in your personal bubble. It feels much more intimate this way, they are words meant for you only to hear, after all.

"My love," he starts, and he can already feel the tears welling up in his eyes. He blinks repeatedly, in a desperate attempt to keep them at bay. "If I'm reading this it means I finally married you, which is probably the best thing I've ever done in my life." You giggle and he can't help but smile at the sound of your laugh.

"I am writing these vows one year into our relationship, I haven't proposed yet, but I just know you're the one I want to marry. And I suppose I don't want to forget everything I want to say to you, when that day comes." His words make your breath hitch in your throat as realization dawns on you- he wrote this three years ago, and he kept it safe, till this day.

"I still remember when I saw you for the first time. I couldn't talk because you looked so pretty, and you were smiling at Felix and I felt an overwhelming need to be the one you were smiling at. I think you cast a spell on me because I couldn't even ask you about your major back, I couldn't believe how awestruck I was. But you already know this, don't you?" He looks up at you, pressing a quick kiss to your stomach and you smile widely. You still remember when Seungmin recounted the first time you met, from his perspective. Rosy cheeks and fumbling words as he explained how much he felt for you in that instant, and how little he could express it.

"But there are still things I haven't told you," he clears his throat. "Like how Felix told me what horror movie he was planning to watch with you, and I looked it up the night before, to memorize all the jump scares just in case you were afraid. And you were, and I'm glad I did. I don't even like horror movies, but it was worth watching it three times in a row, just for you."

"Also, how I had to run out of my class to yours, so I'd catch you after the end of your presentation. I bought that chocolate only for you. I kept a stack of fifteen bars hidden in my desk, just in case you were feeling down, and you ended up needing it. I kept asking Felix about everything you liked, and disliked, and he was probably sick of me at that time," he chuckles, as memories of begging his roommate for any bit of information about you flooded his mind.

"I don't know how far into the future it'll be when I'll finally read this to you. I don't know how I'll be, or where I'll be, but as long as you're with me then I must be okay. I used to overthink everything, plan every part of my life so it'd run smoothly. That is until you came into my life, so suddenly, and you flipped it upside down. I didn't care to plan my life anymore, all that mattered is that it revolved around you," he pauses, sucking in a deep breath.

"I knew I wanted to marry you when you took me stargazing. You talked about the stars and galaxies so excitedly. And then you brought up Saturn; how it was unique among the planets, adorned with thousands of ringlets. And I remember thinking that you're my saturn, you're the dazzling planet that everyone admires and I'm the ring spinning around you, the one you're keeping afloat. And as long as you're here, I have a purpose and I'm okay. So please..." his voice wavers, as silent tears slip out of his eyes.

"Don't leave me. I know we're married now, but still, don't leave me. I love you. I feel like I've loved you in different lifetimes, in different earths and timelines. Everything can come crashing down around us, but one thing that'll forever remain the same is my love for you. I was made to love you, after all. My eyes were made to look at you, and my hands to graze your cheeks. And my heart... My heart was made to beat for you. And I love you. I feel like I don't say it enough but I truly love you. As long as I'm breathing then I'm yours."

my heart actually just beats like binnie binnie binnie