Outerbankskooklife - 🌊🦀⚓️

help (r.c)

request: hiiii! can i please request a rafe x reader where both the reader and rafe consider going to therapy (mostly for rafe’s own good) but the reader loves him too much that she’s willing to put time money energy and effort in their relationship. You can choose the ending, it can either help rafe get better mentally or can completely be a waste!! I’ll leave it up to you! Thank you so much! I’m so excitedddd

masterlist.

warnings: angst!!!!!, therapy, mental health, substance abuse

you had this empty feeling in your chest. you could see the dying look in his eyes and the slight bags under his eyes. rafe looked burnt out, definitely more than usual. 

when you two got together you figured it was his partying habits and the clear pressure he got from himself and everyone as his father was ward cameron. but his stature was just as telling that it was something more. his pride, ego, and reputation were always on the line. 

“can you let me in?” you asked him softly, taking his limp hands into yours. he sat on the floor with his back to his bed, using the bed as a shield from the door. “i just want to know what’s going on up there…”

you saw his jaw clench and he squeezed his eyes shut, whether that was his way of keeping things in or pushing their way to get out it was straining on him. you sat on your knees and took his head in your arms so it would lay on your chest. you cradled him, hoping this would help control his breathing and his thought proccess. 

“rafe…my love. you have a lot going on within you and it isn’t fair to yourself to have to go through this battle alone. maybe you could talk to someone? we could talk to someone. i’ll be with you every step of the way or let you do this on your own. whatever you want. it just pains me to see you struggle and i can’t imagine how extremely tolling this is on you and your relationships with others.”

“with others?” he finally muttered out in a harsh tone that seemed more offended rather than defensive. you pulled away from him and tilted your head slightly, staring softly into his eyes.

“i just mean that, things used to be different. you aren’t at fault but wouldn’t it be nice to have just a fun and chill night with the guys again? or do something with wheeze? she’s young and i can tell shes concerned for you, whether she’ll say it or not. you’re her older brother.” you explained, rubbing your thumb back and forth on his hand.

you could see his eyes darting back and forth along the molding on his wall, his thought proccess obviously taking control. you took a slight breath, patience was what he needed at this time. you bit the inside of your lip, i want to be able to do more for him. 

“i know it’s a hard conclusion to come to, but i’ll be with you the entire time. money and time is not a problem.” you spoke softly and quietly. overstimulating with a loud and aggressive tone in this moment was not a good idea. you felt that you were on a good roll with his emotions controlled right now rather than him lashing out. 

you glanced back at his eyes and saw that they were darted into one spot on the ground, no longer taking this course along his wall. 

“so what (y/n)…you’re saying i’m the problem?” he basically spat back. you felt your heart sink as you knew this was not going to end well and this conversation was taken of it’s course. 

“not at all, rafe. my main priority is you and your happiness.” you responded, soflty. your hands made their way to cup his cheeks and crane his head to look at you. you glanced at his left eye, down to his lips, and back up to his right one in hopes of calming him down. “i love you.”

you could see his eyelids become less strained and go back to a natural state. “i love you too.’ you pulled him in for a kiss, letting your hands go to the back of his head and run through the tufts of his hair at the base of his neck. 

you both pulled away simultaneously and you helped him off the ground. he stood tall, regaining that tough guy stature which made your heart flutter. you went on the tips of your toes and placed a kiss on his cheek. 

“how about you head home, get dolled up, and i’ll pick you up for some ice cream in town?” rafe asked, running his hands through his hair and fixing up his appearence in the mirror. a smile made it’s way onto your face and you nodded.

“oh a date? say less.” you answered and giggled, heat creeping to your cheeks. you planted one more kiss on his lips before grabbing your things and heading home.

———-

you sat on the edge of your bed in a nice sundress and sandals, texting rafe.

ready whenever!! 8:06

did you leave yet? 8:30

hello?? did you forget the plans that you made??? call me 8:48

after countless more calls, you decided to take action and grab your keys to head to his house. he couldn’t just bail on plans that he made less than three hours ago. it’s not like he forgot. 

you felt the familiar bumps in his driveway as you pulled up behind his car parked in front of his front door. you also spotted up ahead another car. no fucking way topper and kelce are here right now. you glanced down at your phone and saw it read 9:17. hopping out of your car, you could basically feel the bass of music under your feet.

your eyes, with the help of your ears, came to the conclusion the music was coming from the druthers out on the water and you saw countless heads and lights. you felt your jaw clench as you marched your way over to the dock to take that timely walk down to the boat. inviting yourself onto the boat, you had to excuse yourself past some other kooks as you caught toppers eyes.

his eyes spoke for themselves. disappointment but also guilt. you slightly shook your head out of annoyance and even found your heart rate speed up a little more than it was. 

you opened a door that lead you to inside and was oddly not shocked at the sight you saw in front of yourself. that head of golden hair that you loved so much was face first into the table with a rolled up twenty between his finger tips, sliding across the table. kelce saw you immediately and hit rafe on the chest with the back of his hand.

you weren’t sure if the lump in your throat was anger or hurt. you were allowed to feel both so you just went with that. rafe wiped the tip of his nose as his eyes saw yours. 

those blue eyes that you loved waking up to some mornings were being taken over by his extremely dialated pupils from the coke and glossed over from the liquor. kelce and the other girl clearly felt uncomfortable and made their way out to the back deck as quick as possible. 

rafe let out a chuckle that seemed mixed with a scoff as a smirk rolled across his face. “you can’t help me. so lose the idea sweetheart.” 

you redirected your gaze to literally anywhere else on the boat right now as the sight of him hurt too much. that empty feeling in your chest came back from earlier along with the dying look in his eyes. tears burned your eyes, brushing them as quick as they came. 

you wiped the remaining coke off the table in front of him, ignoring his surprised outburts and made a b-line to the door. you didn’t even look back at him.

“call me when you’re sober. i can’t do this right now.” your spoke through gritted teeth, mainly to hold back anything you’d regret saying or simply just sobbing on the spot.

“with me every step of the way…huh?” rafe called out to you in spite, clearly high and drunk out of his mind. you told yourself you wouldn’t get through to him when he was in this state so you hopped back on the dock and headed back to your car. 

you loved him endlessly and as painful as it was, you had to keep walking. 

sorry for the ending, i knew it was going to have to be pretty angsty!!! hope u enjoyed!! xxx :) 

I mean yeah he’s evil and all but what if I were his favourite

thinking about Carmen taking care of his girl sm he won’t put up with her spending any of her hard-earned money :(

After shutting your door for you, Carmen walks around the front of the car into the drivers seat, shuffling with the seatbelt as he turns the key in the ignition.

You hum to yourself in the meantime and find your lipstick in your bag—your new lipstick, a little more luxe this time, just the right shade to compliment your skin, a treat for yourself after finishing up a project at work. Just a little gift you deserved. You flip down the sun visor and open the mirror, making a pretty o with your lips to carefully apply it, stifling a smile when you feel Carmen watching.

“Where’s that from, baby?” he asks, a hand smoothing up your back.

“Hm?”

“The—the, uh—” he points to his own mouth while staring at your lips— “Lipstick, you call it?”

“Oh,” you smile. “Yeah, it’s new.” You hug his bicep, an affectionate squeeze before cradling the side of his face and toying with the tuft of hair by his ear. “You like it?”

He hums, “‘F course, ‘s pretty.”

But his smile falters, and it has you pouting.

“What?”

“Nothin’…” He shrugs. “Just don’t remember buyin’ it. You used my card, right?”

You shake your head. “No, I bought it myself. It wasn’t expensive, Carm, I promise.” Half true, at the very least.

“Yeah?” He let’s go of you only briefly to lift his hips and pull his wallet from his pocket, fishing out the wad of cash that’s accumulated there. “How much was it, baby? I’ll pay you back.”

“Carm, I didn’t ask you to do that.”

“Yeah, well, I’m doin’ it anyway.” He counts out one, two, three twenties—

“Carmen, put that away—”

He looks up at you, raises his brows, dishes out a fourth and a fifth. “What?” He doesn’t even flinch when he folds the bills in two and leans over the console to slip them in your purse, sneaking a kiss to your cheek as he does so, just because he knows it’ll distract you. A hand on the wheel now—a veiny, tattooed hand, enough to make you drool—with the other holding your jaw, he kisses you again, the corner of your mouth to keep your lipstick in tact. “Use my card next time, you hear me? Doesn’t matter what it’s for.”

You frown. “But I feel bad . . . I make my own money, y’know.”

“You’re not supposed to spend your money, baby, you’re supposed to spend mine.” Again, he kisses you, guiding you where he wants you with his thumb and index gently holding your chin so you can’t look away. “I got you, baby. Lemme take care ‘f you.”

And, well, when he puts it like that . . . it’s not so hard to oblige.

Watching Barbie watch as Ken takes over barbieland, takes her dream house and turn it into his own property, ruins her things whilst she cries in despair and suddenly I’m six years old again pleading my brother to be gentle with my toys as he throws them on the floor and against the walls. The hundreds of dollars in dolls that my parents spent for birthdays and christmas, told me to be careful with and showed me how to play nice destructed and destroyed as my brother grabs at anything and everything, tosses them around, stretches their plastic joints and pulls at their heads while I scream for him to stop seemingly wasted in seconds. He throws one down for another and I’m too small to grab them off of him. Easily toppled over as he pushes me aside and I’m wondering what I ever did to him to deserve it.

On top of it all, he’s still surprised when his torment breaks one of them, the legs snap out and he pauses as though he’s remorseful. I cry at the loss of my doll and despite how it was him who broke it. Him who threw it around. Him who pulled until the elastic snapped..

I am still told I should’ve been more careful with my toys.

Would you ever consider doing a 2nd part to wrong place at the wrong time?

i'm not rlly sure, maybe in the future some time :)