Henri Toulouse-Lautrec- In Bed (1893)

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since this has been my diary-in-tags post here's the current state of things. she admitted that she had been serial cheating on me and got into a relationship too while cheating. she has been lying and manipulating. so this whole past 6+ months of me wanting to kill myself bc of her behaving so distant and cold and strange while away - - was even worse than i could ever have known. she wasnt just different but also serial cheating and completely insane. and she lied and gaslit and manipulated me the whole time - which she has also done previously but not this badly. i figured out that she most likely has borderline and she is in a severe mental illness episode with personality change. she lost empathy - she felt no empathy to me and she even said she was proud of not feeling empathy. completely unhinged. this girl used to be so sweet and empathetic and one of her core values was empathy - she's an activist. i used to feel really loved by her and i loved her so much. but her delusional or manic episode or whatever has changed her - - to a different person. completely fixated on things and lacking empathy and just not being herself at all and not loving me. i wrote my new intro post with information on what has happened since i found out. im actually in a somewhat better place now because i learnt that i can be happy without her even if its still only small moments of happiness and still a lot of suffering. so please read my pinned post if you want to know more. i really dont think anyone will ever see this but if you do then yeah.

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