Broken, Pt. 1 (3tan) | Myg

broken, pt. 1 (3tan) | myg

title: broken (pt. 1) pairing: 3tan!yoongi x reader(f) series:masterlist | three tangerines | fireworks | house party | basketball | stay | sidewalk talk | friends | dalo | like that | anytime | sundress season | yoongi’s interlude | forfeit | flutter | video call | busted rating/genre: m (18+) ; angst , fluff ; brother’s best friend au, implied age gap au summary: chilling conversations prolong things even further… until everything goes to hell. note: this is only one half of what was supposed to be a whole chapter! broken, pt. 2 will come out after i’ve had time to make it something i’m proud of. trying to rush everything out didn’t do any favors, so hilariously and ironically, broken is broken up into two hahaha. warnings: language, angst, tension, yoongi’s pov is longgg, alcohol consumption, tobacco mentions, bro🥲, yoongi in the studio😩, the studio boys make another appearance👀, …someone else makes their first appearance👀👀, scuffles, tense situations, did i say angst?, water bottles get their own warning, long hair yoongi, basketball yoongi🫠, crying, bro a ha ha, jimin has tats and he’s not afraid to show them, the chains stay on(???), …bad boy yoongi😀👍, honestly he is on another level of warning here don’t perceive me💀, the fluff is fluffing here like what, backstory we’ve been waiting for😗, yoongi on the phone, hand holding :’)), kissing :’)), oh god the kissing❤️‍🩹, there’s just a lot in both parts i’m sorry y'all playlist: broken (lp) drop date: dec 3rd, 2023, 4:00pm est word count: …19.1k 🚶‍♀️

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Words abandon you.

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Lmao nobody sent a Halloween drabble request for hobi? It's cause we all know he'll decline immediately for whatever the reader / character-opposite-hobi suggests that he knows will eventually lead to something halloween-y or scary

He'll either-

1. Give you the side eye and judge you so hard that you drop the idea yourself.

2. Give you his dance-teacher-stern-look and you'll combust into flames.

3. Fuck you so good against the kitchen counter that you forget what you were talking about.

The only monster Hoseok wishes you were interested in finding this Halloween season is his monster c–

↳ pairing: hoseok x reader

↳ rating/genre: BTS | 18+ | established relationship | halloween | smut

↳ wc/date: 948 | October 2023

↳ warnings: hoseok got a BIG DICK yessir he do, unprotected vaginal sex, vaginal fingering, spanking, punishments, dom!hoseok, sub!reader, no gendered language

↳ notes: i actually managed to write a drabble this time hskjdfhks like a real deal drabble. less than 1k i'm shocked 😭

↳ masterlist / taglist

↳ what was jai listening to? spookie coochie - doechii

Halloween 2023 Masterlist

 “I’m not going.”

“Hobiiiiii, baby, please.”

“Jimin did this to me before already!” Hoseok waggles his finger in your direction with a deep pout that tugs down his usually heart-shaped mouth. “Got me drunk and made me go to this scary abandoned house in the mountains! In the middle of the night! And Yoongi hyung didn’t even stop him. I almost pissed my pants, I was so scared.”

You curl your lips inward to stop yourself from laughing. Stifling the sound only somewhat works; air rushes out of your mouth and makes your lips flutter obnoxiously loud.

“It isn’t funny!” Hoseok whines. The look of betrayal on his face is so severe that it leaves worry lines on his forehead.

You only feel a little bit bad.

Taking a step forward, you loosely wrap your arms around Hoseok’s waist. You try to take his coffee mug out of his hand to place on the kitchen counter behind you, but he holds it out of reach above his head.

“I’m not gonna take you to a scary abandoned house in the mountains. I just wanna take you to a corn maze.”

“A haunted corn maze. Full of murderers and monsters.” He looks at you pointedly as he takes a sip of his coffee.

You’re trying to be sexy when you lean forward to run your nose along his neck, stopping to nuzzle just below his ear, but you can’t help the snort that comes out of you. The image of Hoseok fast-walking through walls of corn with trembling knees, falling all over himself when a zombie pops out of a dark corner, is too much for you to take.

“You’re being so mean to me right now.”

“I’m s-sorry,” you choke out. Your teeth press against the soft spot beneath his ear as you try not to laugh. It’s supposed to be a kiss, but you can’t stop smiling.

Hoseok’s fingers grip your jaw and pull your face away from the crook of his neck. His hold is tight but not uncomfortable. The heat of his hand that had previously held the coffee makes goosebumps rise along your forearms.

“Are you trying to upset me?”

The rocky edge of Hoseok’s voice makes you shudder. He forces you to look at him while his eyes search your face for remorse you can’t give him.

“No,” you lie with twitching lips.

You don’t know why this is so funny. It shouldn’t be. There’s nothing funny about how Hoseok watches you with a taunt jaw that ripples when he bites down on his molars.

“Turn around.”

Aw, shit.

“Hobi,” you start, but Hoseok taps his finger against your lips to shut you up.

“All I wanted was to have a nice morning with you,” Hoseok’s voice is deceptively soft against the shell of your ear. His chest is pressed to your back so he can hook his chin over your shoulder. His hands are gentle as they slip beneath the loose legs of your pajama shorts to palm your ass.

“All I wanted was for you to go on a date with me.” You lean back into his touch and squeeze the edge of the kitchen counter. “Now you’re being a baby.”

Hoseok lets out a quiet huff as he rips your shorts down your thighs. “Now you’re being a brat.”

He makes you count.

You act like it doesn’t excite you every time his palm collides with your sensitive skin like you don’t love how the force makes your ass jiggle and makes Hoseok’s breath ragged in your ear.

“If I’m good, will you go with me?” you ask with an airy voice that ends in a whimper. Your clit throbs, and you want to squeeze your thighs together, but Hoseok keeps your legs parted with his knees. Your arousal smears across his thigh when he presses against you, soaking a wet spot in his black jeans.

“If you’re good, I’ll fuck you.”

Ten feels good, a hot tingle that spreads across both ass cheeks and ripples down your thighs.

Twenty makes you cry.

“Please.” You’re completely draped over the counter now, your front pressed against the cool marble. Every slap sends your body jolting forward; there’s nothing to hold onto to ground yourself.

“Are you sorry?”

You nod frantically as Hoseok’s fingers slip through your slippery folds, gently swirling the pads around your clit before dragging down until he dips into your entrance. It’s hard to stand upright when he plunges two fingers inside you and presses down.

“Fuck,” you moan, resting your forehead on the counter.

“Are you gonna make me go to the scary fucking corn maze?”

Over your heavy breathing, you can hear Hoseok’s belt buckle being undone.

“No, no, I’m not.” You lick drool from the corner of your mouth when the thick head of Hoseok’s cock nudges your swollen clit. “I’ll take Namjoon instead.”

A brutal slap lands on your ass while Hoseok buries his cock fully inside you. The two abrupt sensations knock the wind out of you, and you can’t even cry out.

“Be nice,” Hoseok says between thrusts that make your already sore and raw skin tingle.

You bite your bottom lip to stop yourself from smiling when Hoseok’s arm curls around your chest. He hauls you up to bring your back flush against his chest as he thrusts up into you. You turn your head to the side because you know what he wants and let his lips capture yours in a bruising embrace.

“I love you, you fucking scaredy cat.”

“I love you, too. Brat,” Hoseok moans against your lips. His teeth bite at your bottom lip when he smiles.  

Halloween 2023 Masterlist

all rights reserved © gimmethatagustd on tumblr & AO3

do not copy, repost, modify, or translate any of my work 

dextrocardia | 09

Dextrocardia. Originally a medical term, but also a way to describe someone who's got their heart in the right place.

"She's been moved to another operation to help out. This pairing is necessary because you'll be undercover as spouses. I know you two can be professional about this."

"What?!" It's Jeongguk's upset voice that sounds, and for once, you share his displeased opinion.

Spouses.

pairing: cop!jk x f detective!reader

genre: undercover cops, fake marriage, e2l au, angst, fluff

word count: 5k

warnings: besides a lot of tears and high key depression... none really in this part

rating: NC-17 – Adults Only

masterlist

part 9/? 

<previous | next>

© dextrocardia is copyright jeonstudios. this fic can not be modified, re-posted, or translated without my permission.

You’re not really sure where you are. It’s dark and relatively quiet in the room where you’re lying, but you can still make out something that sounds like very muffled footsteps. You groan. Your head and entire body hurt, and your brain feels like mush, but at least you’re… warm. Hurt and tired, but warm.

Sometime later—how much, you’re not sure—the door opens quietly, and a person enters the room, rays of light illuminating their figure from behind.

“Oh, you’re awake. Good.”

It’s a gentle female voice, but not one you recognize.

“Where am I?” you ask quietly, your voice weak which isn’t that surprising considering the circumstances.

“At the hospital. Can I turn the light on?”

“Yeah, okay,” you nod, squinting in preparation for the incoming light. It’s bright but not nearly as blinding as you were expecting.

The hospital. So, it really happened, huh?

The nurse approaches your bed, smiling sweetly. “I’m just gonna take a look at your eyes, okay?”

You watch as she feels her pockets for something and smiles when she finds the little pen-looking thing. Carefully, she places one hand on your forehead to get a good angle, clicks the pen, and directs the light it produces into your eyes.

“Follow my finger?”

Concentrating, you follow her index finger as she moves it from side to side in front of you.

“Looks good! I don’t know how much you remember, you shifted between conscious and unconscious when you came in, but you’ve got a pretty bad concussion and also some blood loss. It didn’t require a transfusion, but you’ll feel pretty weak for a bit. This,” she points to your left, and you turn your head to see a metal stand and a bag of clear fluid hanging from it, “is just for your dehydration. Seems like your body’s been under a lot of stress recently, so although we’ve been monitoring you, I think you mostly just needed to rest.”

“Oh.”

She nods, and then she starts noting down things on her clipboard. For a few seconds, you watch absentmindedly.

You’re not sure what you’re supposed to feel. The last thing you remember except for Jeongguk’s still face is hearing gunshots and seeing Yoongi. Obviously, Hoseong was injured, but you don’t know how badly, and someone either called an ambulance for you or drove you here themself. If Hoseong is alive, you’re still very much in trouble, but here, at the hospital, you can’t find it in you to care all that much.

Maybe the shock hasn’t quite worn off yet. You thought you were going to die, you knew Jeongguk was going to kill you to get rid of you, but… now, he’s dead, and you’re still alive…

God, how idiotic of him, sacrificing himself for someone like you. If Hoseong didn’t make it, you’re sure the task will just be delegated to someone else–they all got shit to hide and protecting a rapist and harassing and threatening the victim doesn’t look too good for anyone.

So, not only was it incredibly unnecessary as you’re still a target, but he didn’t even like you. Either, he felt sorry for you, or… he’s not dead at all, and they’re still playing with you? Did he fake his own death so that… he could waltz back in and have you eating from his palm out of guilt?

Your heart clenches and you shut your eyes. You saw him. You saw the realization in his eyes and heard him as he used his last words to tell you where the car keys were so that you could run. Looking down, you pull the hospital gown down enough for you to inspect the white, rectangular wound dressing. The sword went through him. Hoseong twisted it so roughly that if it hadn’t pierced Jeongguk’s heart as it impaled him, it certainly sliced it open then.

Oh, God. Jeongguk.

You feel your bottom lip start to tremble, and you blink fervently to push back the tears.

“Oh my God, I’m so sorry, I completely forgot,” the nurse exclaims, noticing your change of mood. “Do you want to see your husband?”

You swallow, watching her face as she smiles at you. “My husband?”

“Yeah, he just came out of surgery like an hour or so ago. He won’t wake up for a while, but I can take you to him if you want?”

All you know is that you nod, small but eagerly, and then a few minutes later, she helps you change into the clothes your friend came with and disconnects the IV. You don’t ponder too much about where Jihyo is at the moment, figuring she’s making calls or even sleeping somewhere as it’s early morning.

The nurse convinces you to let her wheel you in a wheelchair, and you nearly hold your breath as you move through the white-painted corridors.

“So, he’s… he’s alive?” you finally ask, not entirely believing the impossible. There’s no way.

“Yeah, the surgeons will be with you shortly to explain everything but with his condition—which is quite rare, very rare, actually–”

“–His condition?” you interrupt, confused. Jeongguk was–is?–the healthiest person you’ve ever met. In the back of your mind you’re also aware that you’re being an ass, taking advantage of the fact that the hospital for some reason also thinks you’re married. In reality, you’re probably the last person who should have access to his very private information.

It’s impossible not to hear the excitement in her voice as she continues. “Your husband has a condition called dextrocardia, more specifically dextrocardia situs inversus totalis. It means–”

“–His heart is… on the right side of his chest,” you conclude, wide-eyed.

“Yes. Basically, all organs in his chest are mirrored, but since the relation between them isn’t changed, it can go undiagnosed for a long time until you happen to stumble upon it. So when the sharp object penetrated his chest, it missed his heart.”

You don’t know what to say. For a long time, you wished someone would just remove Jeongguk and his friends from your life, and at times, them dying didn’t seem too bad even if you didn’t actively wish for it. But he wasn’t the person you thought he was, was he? Or is, because he’s still alive. You can let the paranoia and fear tell you that he’s still playing some kind of game to win you over, but what he did contradicts everything. They’ve got his health records, his charts, his info, but no one knew. He saw you, how you didn’t even try to move out of the way, just shut your eyes tightly, and he took the blow for you, not knowing that the sword wouldn’t pierce his heart even if aimed at it. You’re not sure what you should be feeling, but you know you’re relieved.

“We called his mother since you were unconscious. She’s on her way.”

You nod. You know you won’t stay long, you just want to see him.

You’re barely breathing when a door is opened in front of you and you’re pushed inside. The lights are on, shining down on him where he’s lying in the same kind of hospital bed you woke up in. The difference is that he’s connected to a whole lot more medical equipment. He’s intubated, tubes are running from his chest to a machine on the floor, and a heart rate monitor beeps quietly and rhythmically besides a few IV’s and drips.

She wheels you right up to his side, and you’re so close that you could reach out and hold his hand.

Somewhere in the back of your mind, you hear the nurse explain the surgery and what happens next. His lung was punctured in two places, and he lost a lot of blood in a very short time, essentially both bleeding out and drowning in his own blood.

Additionally, she says that the “knife” injured two of his ribs and they had to search for bone fragments and remove them. When she notices you looking at his bandaged hand, she also explains that he’s sustained a non-displaced fracture, but she’s not sure how. You nod, knowing it’s from fighting four of his former friends.

She says that the chest tube is there to transport blood and air away from his lung, allowing it to expand again, that he’s intubated to make sure he gets enough oxygen, and that he’s getting plenty of pain relief, fluids, and antibiotics. His injuries are serious, but luckily–and very much due to his condition–he made it.

He looks tired. Somehow–in probably the most vulnerable moment of his life–he still looks strong, but tired. You guess it makes sense since his body’s been through a lot, but you can't say you like it.

“I’ll leave you alone,” the nurse says softly, and you hear her footsteps as they exit the room, the door closing behind her.

For some time–most likely only two minutes or so–you just watch him. His slow breaths, his hair that’s a bit messy, the intubation equipment sticking out of his mouth, the bandages covering big parts of his chest.

Somehow, this man is not like the others you’ve met. Somehow, he has a sense of right and wrong, even if you’re not sure how well adjusted that sense is. He saved your life, yes, but it doesn’t change a lot between you, does it? You’re not family, and you wouldn't even dare call him a friend.

Looking around the room, you spot a pen on the small table next to him, and behind you, there’s a chair and another table on which a stack of magazines lies.

You stand from the wheelchair, your legs stiff and your entire body tired, and you head toward the magazines, grabbing one and ripping a corner from a page without much text. Then you grab the pen and you sit back down.

A few minutes later, another doctor–what you assume is the surgeon–opens the door and enters with an older and distraught-looking woman behind him. She’s beautiful; dark and a little graying hair, and you immediately spot where jeongguk gets his softer features from.

Her quick steps stop just after entering, and her worried face breaks out into what you’re sure is just a new batch of tears before she’s approaching Jeongguk quickly on the other side of the bed.

“...And we’ll continue to monitor him closely, but we’re hopeful he’ll make a full recovery.”

“Thank you,” she cries, looking like she wants to hug the life right out of her son but doesn’t dare touch him in case she hurts him. In the end, she settles for holding his hand against her chest and stroking his cheek with the other.

“Of course. We’re just down the hall, so come see us or press the button over there in case you need anything.”

You watch the doctor exit the room, and it hits you that you should’ve probably left earlier, before Jeongguk’s mother arrived. She sniffles, and you're not sure what to do or say.

“You work with him?” She looks at you, and you can tell from these few minutes alone how incredibly loved Jeongguk is. “You were with him?”

“Yeah, we’re… colleagues.”

“I figured,” she sniffles again, smiling a little, “They said you were his wife, but as far as I know, he’s not married.”

“No, that’s right. We, uh, were pretending to be. For the job,” you explain vaguely, knowing you probably shouldn’t disclose anything really.

“Are you hurt?” she asks, looking you up and down with worry in her eyes. “I never wanted this for him, to follow in his father’s footsteps. It’s so dangerous.”

It sparks your interest, but you already know Jeongguk's dad is not around anymore, so you don’t want to be disrespectful.

“I just have a bit of a mild concussion,” you explain quietly. It’s certainly mild compared to her son’s condition. “...Jeongguk’s father was an officer too?”

“Yeah. I lost him on the job. He died protecting a civilian woman from gunshots. I lost him, and now I thought I’d lost Jeongguk too.”

Guilt returns to flood your veins. “I’m so sorry.”

You focus your eyes on Jeongguk’s face. “He… saved me,” you admit quietly, “The guy with the… knife, he came for me.”

Carefully, you turn your head slightly to meet her eyes again, almost expecting her to curse you out for not being worth her son’s sacrifice. She doesn’t. There’s some sort of helpless fondness on her face as she returns her eyes to the man lying before her.

“Of course, he did," she wipes a tear away from her cheek. "He makes me proud everyday, but I’m so, so scared. First it’s the motorcycle and then it’s the profession, and it’s all so dangerous, you know?”

“Yeah.” You know exactly how it is worrying, but for your own life. Of course, you’re worried for your friends too, but unless you’re borderline suicidal like Jeongguk and jump in front of a sword, the risks are a lot lower, especially for detectives compared to officers. “I’m really sorry. For Jeongguk and… his dad.”

“It’s okay, it’s not your fault. He’s a grown man, he made the decision himself. As for his dad, it’s a risk you take, loving an officer with his heart in the right place, I guess. Oh! Like Jeongguk? Dextro… cardia, they said?”

You smile, "Yeah."

With a lot of stuff on your mind, you excuse yourself, leaving Jeongguk’s mother to land in her emotions and watch over her son in peace. The wheelchair, you pull behind you through the corridor and back to your own room.

But your room is not as empty as you left it, and you hear your name leave your visitor's lips. Your real name.

“Hoseok?”

He smiles, his hands stuffed into the pockets of his jeans. “How are you feeling?”

“Uhm,” you stall, unsure of what to do and practically frozen to the linoleum floor.

“You went and saw him? Je… Jeongguk? Was it? How’s he doing now? Not awake yet, I assume?”

“Yeah… I mean, no, not awake yet. But…”

“You’re wondering what I’m doing here and how I know?”

You only nod, still standing in the doorway. Hoseok gestures toward your bed, “You can sit down, and I’ll explain everything. And maybe you can explain some things to me too, I’m certainly wondering,” he laughs.

You don’t laugh with him. Isn’t he angry?

Noticing your hesitancy, he continues, “I’m not going to hurt you. In fact, I was the one who called the ambulance and brought your clothes and stuff.”

“You did?” You just assumed it was Jihyo, who was already on her way to the house to pick you up according to Jeongguk. You’ll have to call her and see where she is.

“Yeah.”

Slowly, you let go of the wheelchair, and you head toward the bed, sinking down.

“So, how did you know? You came to save us?”

“Well, I had my suspicions that something wasn’t right, so I placed a bug in the hallway when I came over on Friday, and we listened in when we saw those cars pull up and people sneak around. We came over as quickly as we could when we understood you were in danger, and I just saw all the blood and how that man stood over you like that, so I shot him. Not fatally, I think it hit his thigh, and Yoongi shot at one of the others that went for him but I think he dodged it. They left as fast as they could, and we focused on helping you.”

You try to make sense of it all, but you’re not sure it’s really clicking.

“What… what made you suspect we were undercover.”

“We didn’t. We thought he might be abusing you.”

Confusion colors your face. “What?”

“Yeah. Jeongguk… He seemed friendly and all, but you always looked so scared around him. Not to mention that you weren’t sleeping in the same room, and he later showed up with scratches on his arm. I thought maybe you were crying because of him that night, that essentially, he was your terminal illness. I wasn’t sure of course, but I was still worried, and statistically speaking, domestic violence often escalates during pregnancy.”

You look at Hoseok with wide eyes, and maybe something warm and incredibly emotional spreads through your body. You knew the thing about pregnancy and domestic violence but… he? You’re in shock. What is with these men and turning everything you thought you knew upside down?

“You noticed…” you mumble, and he nods.

“So… what did happen?” he asks, sitting down on the chair in the corner of the room. “I mean who were those guys? And why were they after you? I take it Jeongguk wasn’t actually harming you?”

You glance down at your fingers. “Colleagues. And no, he wasn't. It's, uhm, it’s a long story.”

It’s just something about admitting to a man how a fellow man treated you that makes you uncomfortable. It’s shame, you know that as well as the fact that it wasn’t your fault. Still, it doesn’t change your feelings.

“The guy who was going to kill me, he… was my detective partner years ago but… he, well, he, uh… he raped me. I managed to shoot him in self defense and even filed a report but no one took it seriously cause I was in love with him. It’s the ‘official’ version; that I threatened Hoseong with a gun because he didn’t want to be my boyfriend after we slept together. The gun went off, and I was reprimanded by not being allowed to carry anymore."

You watch as Hoseok listens intently, giving you his full attention.

"Everyone still knew, they just didn’t speak of what really happened out in the open. Except, apparently Jeongguk didn’t know. They’ve harassed me ever since but it wasn’t… I mean, it was bad, but not like how it’s been recently. Our chief is retiring, meaning they’re scared they’ll lose their protection. I thought the increase in threats my way meant that they planned for Jeongguk to get rid of me on the mission, but he found out what really happened and went to confront them. They didn’t take it well and probably realized it would be harder to keep him quiet when he didn’t just laugh it off like they hoped, so they… well, they came to kill us both, I guess.”

“Fuck. I’m so sorry.”

“Yeah,” you smile humorlessly.

“So what happens now? I mean, one of them has a thigh injury but the others seemed pretty alright.”

You almost chuckle at the mention of Hoseong’s injury, hoping to God it was the other thigh. Or honestly, just whichever thigh hurts him the most.

“I don’t know.”

“Well, where are you staying? Not at home, right?”

“I’ll probably sleep at a friend’s house tonight. And then, my aunt has a place I can stay, I think. Wait. Fenrir?” your eyes go wide.

“He’s at our place, you can come and get him whenever, but we don’t mind watching him if you feel like you need some time.”

“Oh, thank God," you breathe. "No, I’ll probably get him as soon as possible. He’s trained to protect me so I feel safer with him. Not that it went very well, but…”

“Then you should definitely take him as soon as possible. You’re welcome to stay at ours too if you want.”

You narrow your eyes in pure surprise, “I appreciate it but… aren’t you mad that we tried to bust you?”

Hoseok surprises you further when he laughs. “No, you seem like nice people still and considering the circumstances, it’s no big deal. Unless you’re still going to investigate? No offense but I'm not going to jail.”

“No,” you admit, “We do have enough on you to maybe press charges after a bit more… puzzling, but I feel like it makes us at least a little bit even if we drop it. Unless you’re really terrible people and you plan on robbing an orphanage or something. Besides, my days in the business are over, there’s no way for me to go back there.”

He gives you a sad smile. “I promise, we don’t. I have to go, but reach out if you need anything, I left my number there,” he nods toward the small table beside the bed where a piece of paper lies.

“Oh, okay. Hoseok?”

“Mhm?”

“I’m sorry. I know we didn’t talk much, but what you did for me, I’m so grateful. Not only saving us, but looking out for me. Tell Eunha and Hyeji I wasn’t faking being their friend either, it was genuinely nice.”

“Of course.”

He heads toward the door before turning around. “I’m not confessing anything, but hypothetically speaking, would it be so bad if a someone–who’s known to exploit legal loopholes to fuck families and old people over and who single-handedly funds one of the largest human trafficking businesses–lost some money? Money that is essentially returned to some of the victims?”

“Ksung?” you breathe. Hoseok just smiles, and he leaves.

Not long after, a breathless Jihyo bursts through the door, worried eyes finding yours and relief sinking in as she explains how her car broke down on the already long journey out to the neighborhood and how, when she finally got there, there was police tape all around it. Apparently all they could say was that you’d been taken to a hospital but not which, so she had to call all in the area and argue with them to find you.

A knock at the door to his room grabs Jeongguk’s attention, and he tries to call for the person to come in, but it’s quieter and more painful than he’d like. The doctors warned him that it would be hard to speak for a while as he’s still not breathing like he used to.

The person knocking either did hear him, or just decided to enter anyway because the door opens and inside steps Jimin.

“DId you find her?” Jeongguk is quick to ask, voice strained, and he tries to sit up further but winces when there’s stress on his very many stitches.

“Hey, take it easy,” Jimin orders sternly before lifting a hand to run through his dark blonde hair. He’s wearing dark blue jeans and the police academy’s navy sweatshirt compared to Jeongguk who’s managed to get himself into gray sweatpants, his top half bare under the hospital blanket. “No, I haven't, and Jihyo isn’t saying much, just that she doesn’t know the address but that she’s fine and will be laying low for a while.”

Jeongguk bites his lip in frustration. He can’t calm his heart or his mind if he doesn’t even know where you are.

“She’ll be fine, Jeongguk. At least until you’re out of the hospital. If I can’t find her, they’ll have to work really hard in order to. And we haven’t seen a trace of them so they’re probably lying low too.”

There’s some truth to Jimin’s words, but no matter how much he wants to, Jeongguk can’t get himself to wholeheartedly believe it.

“I’ll look further if you promise me you’ll do your best to rest. These kinds of injuries take a whole longer to heal than just a few days.”

Jimin gestures toward Jeongguk’s chest, and Jeongguk nods. Fine. He guesses he could be out of the hospital earlier if he tries not to worry. And yeah, he can try.

Jimin soon leaves the hospital to go back to the station, the station a town over where Jeongguk also used to work before moving and transferring. When he’s alone, Jeongguk unfolds the little piece of magazine paper he found when he searched the pockets of the pants hanging over a chair in the back of the room, the same ones he’d been wearing during the attack.

Thank you for what you did. You definitely shouldn’t have, and apparently the only reason you didn’t die is because you have a condition where your heart is on the wrong side of your chest or something, but thank you. I’m leaving, but I wanted to let you know that I’m grateful for what you did and relieved that you survived.

Imagining you on your own somewhere increases Jeongguk’s heart rate, but he tries to focus his mind on what lies ahead. He has a lot of stuff to do.

Ever since the day you arrived at the little townhouse with a suitcase and your dog, things have been different. Easier in some ways, harder in others.

The house is nice. Your aunt doesn’t spend a lot of time there, but it’s furnished and very cozy, especially as summer turns to fall and the days get shorter. It’s quiet. Both your environment and your life. Occasionally, you speak to Jihyo, Sana, or your mother on your new phone, and sometimes, you share a word with the elderly neighbors. The silence is just what you needed and what calms you the best, the constant fear you’ve lived in having taken its toll on your mind and body.

Sure, it’s a bit lonely, especially when Fenrir leaves you, but you don’t mind the loneliness all that much even if you miss him, and the days still pass at the same pace as always. Luckily, as the new chief, Jihyo put you on paid leave, so money is the least of your problems. What’s the biggest problem is that you’re still not safe.

Someone that doesn’t like you knows where you are, and even though you try not to worry too much about stuff that you can’t influence, you still don’t go out later than you have to and you focus on your surroundings.

A few days after the attack, the four men were all apprehended. Junseo didn’t even try to run, just waited for police to grab him at his home. Hoseong tried to escape but was forced to seek medical care for his gunshot wound and so they got him at the hospital. Then, with the help of Hoseong’s phone, they lured out Ryung and Seunghwan too. None of them were saying much.

Jihyo and Sana fill you in on what’s going on at the very busy station, sending you long texts to read when you have the energy, but you honestly can’t find it in you to care that much. Still, it’s a big story, and sometimes you keep the TV on even after it switches from a baking show to another press conference regarding the investigation and fall of one of the most corrupt police departments in the country.

And you see him.

He stands at the wooden podium, always at the forefront and often with Jihyo, and he looks just like the image you have of him. Not how you last saw him, but wide awake and focused.

You know some people would call you names for not being there, but why would you? Jeongguk can testify about what happened that night, and they have your report from two years ago to tell that story.

Despite what Jeongguk said about not everyone knowing what happened to you, you know that they did. At least ninety-five percent or so did know and either partook in the harassment or turned a blind eye, and how are you supposed to know which? Even if they managed to investigate and fire all the bad men–which is honestly impossible–you don’t want to be gawked at, not by your colleagues and not by the entire country.

The interviews and press conferences increase in frequency and duration as they reveal that three out of the four men, apprehended for a whole list of crimes including attempted murder, have escaped.

It’s the last day of October, two days after the big headlines, when you’re trudging home through the falling darkness, a grocery bag in each hand. You try not to be out so late, but you’d completely forgotten to go grocery shopping, so you decided to take a risk and walk to the closest convenience store seven minutes away.

But as you’re nearing your street, passing under glowy circle after circle of street light illuminance, you stop. Fifty yards in front of you, right outside the closest ring of light, a man stands. He’s dressed in black, and there’s something dark over his head too. You’ve passed young trick or treaters and a few men and women in Halloween costumes too, but this feels… wrong.

He takes a step forward, and immediately, you drop both bags to the ground, your shaky hand reaching into the pocket of your jacket.

“I have a knife,” you call out in warning.

The man quickly waves his hands in front of him before he lifts them both to his head, stepping into the light. The black shiny thing comes off, and… it’s Jeongguk, holding the motorcycle helmet in his hand.

“It’s just me,” he explains, holding one palm out.

“Jeongguk?”

As if he’s trying not to make too sudden movements, he walks toward you. Realizing he probably won’t hurt you, you place the pocket knife back and bend down to gather the apples that rolled out of the grocery bag.

You hear his footsteps nearing before you see him crouch in front of you to help with the other bag. Despite knowing you’re (probably) not in any danger at the moment, your hands still shake. Your experiences have fucked you up, and calming down is hard.

“I’m sorry for scaring you, I was just waiting for you.”

You’re not sure if him being there is good or bad, but your chest still aches at his words. You realize that you missed his voice, the last two times you saw him being when he was unconscious.

“Waiting for me, why?” you ask quietly without looking at him. Jihyo has told you that Jeongguk’s asked about you–especially in the beginning–wanting to know where you are and how you are, but you’ve only told her to say that you’re fine.

With the bag’s contents inside them again, you stand up, not fighting Jeongguk when he keeps one of them to carry, himself.

“I had to see you,” he says. “I need to talk to you.”

<previous | next>

author's note: SIKE, PALS <3 anewhey i hope you liked the surprise update! :D come scream at me about it <3

the road not taken 02 | myg

Summary: You could count two times when you thought you got over Yoongi and then realized you were wrong (or maybe three times?)

part two: get up and fall again

< part one

—pairing: lawyer!yoongi x actress oc

—rating: +18

—genre: brother's best friend, one sided pinning (or both?)

—warnings/tags: slow burn,angst, fluff, eventual smut, angst, sexual tension? lmao, use of drugs (just weed), flashbacks, ANGST!! Btw english is not my first language !!

—words: 11k

—a/note: I took the longest time to write this but I'm back!! I'm so happy to finally post this !! fun fact: while I was writing this I listened to let the light in by lana del rey on loop!! and ofc, last night by the strokes !! hope you like it, as always, you're welcomed to discuss this part in my asks. 🥰

series masterlist | teaser | playlist

Four years ago. 

Three weeks before New Years. 

Ever since you could remember you understood one thing that was going to define the first years of your life: you weren’t your brother. It wasn’t difficult to understand, but it was difficult to remember. 

There was a four year gap between Simon and you, and an abyss between who he was and who you were that people didn’t seem to understand. Even if you had no interest in it, just the idea of competing with the image of your brother was completely pointless; he was the first son of a first daughter, the first grandson, the perfect portrait of your mother’s face, while you were the last granddaughter, the one who came at the wrong time, the one whose eyes could only resemble the sad ghost of your father. 

You spent your preteen years witnessing how your aunts and your grandmother expected you to be the same, as if you were supposed to be as charming or as funny as him, despite the clear evidence that you were a completely different person. Maybe it was the dark clothes, or the black eyeliner you wore everyday, maybe your lack of social skills and the bad attitude in the mornings or just the desperate attempt to be different, while he was the cool sibling, you were seen as the weird one. 

Maybe growing up with that label taped to your forehead would have made you resent him, you didn’t remember when or how, but you managed to separate him from all that bullshit. You loved Simon not just because you were attached to the hip since you were born, but because he was one of the few people who never expected anything from you but to be yourself. He always encouraged you to wear whatever clothes you wanted and listen to whatever screaming rock band you liked at the moment even if he didn’t understand any of it.  And after all it wasn’t his fault that he was tall and handsome and good at basketball, it wasn’t his fault that you couldn’t and didn’t want to be a female version of him. You decided to embrace the difference. You weren’t your brother, and because of that you had to fight your way to find your own self. 

When you found The Alley, or as Yoongi called it, the theater near the park with the weird fountains, you felt it clicked for you. It wasn’t just your theater classes, it was a place filled with people just like you, people who understood you. You didn’t have to explain your jokes there, you didn’t have to think twice before speaking, the image of your brother wasn’t hovering over you when people saw you, it was nice.

For the first time you were part of a community, you spent more time in The Alley than in your home, you knew all the bands who came to practice at the place, you knew the lady who cooked pizza for all the movie nights, you were friends with the guy who sold the tickets and the girl who worked at the bar. You spent all your summers volunteering with your friends, making popcorn, accommodating the seats, writing the plays you were going to perform when October came, it was part of you. 

But when you had to leave for college you knew you had to leave everything behind. It’s been a long time since you outright refused to feel something remotely close to nostalgia. You refused to live evoking memories, to think that a fleeting good moment could make up for all the bad ones. It’s been a long time since you outright refused to live in the past, but tonight seemed to be an exception. 

When your feet turned the corner of the park and your eyes found the Christmas Lights decorating the old theater on the other side of the street, you were hit by a wave of something you knew you shouldn’t feel, something close to relief. A feeling you always seemed to run away from. 

“Should we buy popcorn?” Yoongi’s soft voice made you come out of your trance. You looked at him, waiting for the traffic light to turn red so you could cross the street. 

“We need to get in line to secure our seats first.” You explained to him, feeling a rush of nervousness washing down your body. When you had your last day at The Alley you said goodbye to everyone and never made plans to come back, this was unexpected.

“But what if popcorn runs out?” He asked, as if that could be a possible scenario. “The line isn’t even that long.”

He pointed to the short line at the entrance, which was formed by just five people. 

“Popcorn is not going to run out.” You rolled your eyes. “And even if the line is not long, we still need to get the best sets, they are not numbered.” 

Yoongi stood in his place, understanding your logic, but at the same time wondering how did you know that the seats weren’t numbered in the first place. 

He frowned “How did you know?” He asked. You turned to him, looking a bit confused, but then, a green light lit up his face, the traffic light allowing you to cross the street. You grabbed his hand, dragging him with you. 

“Hurry up!” You exclaimed, quickly crossing the street to reach the end of the line.

Yoongi ran after you, but didn’t demand the answer of his question when you reached the end of the line. It was like both of you agreed not to disrupt one of those rare good moments when you didn’t have a frown on your face, it was so hard to grasp it that he decided to do whatever you said, he even let you make fun of him when you realized he was wearing a dress white shirt under his coat, just for the sake of keeping a smile on your face. 

You touched the collar of his shirt, tugging from it just to annoy him. 

“Ouch!” He complained, but didn’t do anything to pull away from you. 

“My mom is probably thrilled that I’m hanging out with you.” You mentioned, fixing the collar and smoothing the fabric with your fingers like you weren’t the one who messed it up. “I bet she thinks that if I spend enough time with you, you’ll turn me into a lawyer like you.” 

Yoongi scoffed, believing that impossible “I’m not a lawyer yet.” He said, and you knew that, but he wasn’t far from it. “But even if I was, I couldn’t turn you into one.” 

“Of course not, we can’t both be lawyers.” You murmured, leaning on the wall behind you. “Besides, I couldn't be a lawyer… I’ve never learned to lie.” You looked at him out of the corner of your eye, waiting for his reaction, but he just rolled his eyes, sighing. 

“You’re mean…” He hissed. 

But Yoongi seemed to be fine with it, he took all your mean jokes about lawyers like a bullet, accepting his destiny, accepting how different both of you were. 

In times like these, it hurt a bit to notice how kind he was, from the tip of his red nose to the palms of his rough hands, kindness was all he had to offer. The contrast of how hard you struggled to be nice to how easy it was for him was palpable, Yoongi smiled to the skinny teenage boy who checked your tickets and the girl who gave away flyers advertising the next movie night the following weekend and never forgot to say thank you, while you had to constantly remind yourself not to curse every person who crossed your way, at least not out loud. 

Once you were inside the place you forced yourself to shake those thoughts off your head, determined to drag Yoongi across the principal hall in order to get your seats without looking back. 

There were multiple kinds of chairs at the theater, it was one of the things that made it so special. The Alley was never built to be a theater, it was a big old house bought by a group of friends years and years ago. They tore up a few walls and built it to be a place to watch movies, paint, do theater, play music or write poetry. On movie nights they put together different chairs and a projector and it suddenly turned into a cinema. 

You were sure Yoongi didn’t know any of this, it was the first time he put foot in this place, but you, who had plenty of experience, knew where the best seats were. 

The best seats were located in the middle of the room, it was a couple of recycled red cinema chairs. You remembered that Sid, one of the owners of the place, told you that he got them at an auction and that they were vintage, but to you they just looked old and dusty at the time. Of course over time you realized that they were the best place to be, they were located just in the perfect place and they were the most comfortable, but they were only two sets of four chairs, so if you didn’t hurry up you would have ended up at the back of the room sitting on some bleachers. 

Yoongi didn’t understand why you were in a rush to get there, but you were right, you got the best seats. 

“Now, stay here.” You told him “I’m coming back with popcorn.” 

You thought it was only right that if he bought the tickets, you were supposed to buy popcorn and drinks. But then again, you weren’t supposed to think of this as a date at all. 

You rushed to the entry of the room, turning on the corner near the bar and saw the stand of popcorn. As you stood in the line, you realized you didn’t notice how cold it was outside until you felt how warm the place was inside. You guessed that the hurry to get to the seats didn’t give room to think about it at all. 

Almost four years went by and it was like time didn’t pass at all inside these walls. Things in your hometown never changed, and sometimes you liked it that way, but most of the time it was the main reason why you wanted to run away from it. Your mom always said you were a creature of metamorphosis, always changing, and you accepted the title for a while, but now you were wondering if your need to morph just meant that you could never be truly happy with any of the paths that you chose for yourself. 

In no time you bought the popcorn and came back to your seat, a little displeased with the thought, but glad that you didn’t find anyone who could recognize you. You were safe for now, perhaps you could watch the movie and come back home going unnoticed. 

But of course things never worked in the way you wanted. 

“Sorry, excuse me.” You murmured, managing to carry two cups filled with coke and a bucket of popcorn, you watched your step carefully, trying not to step on other people. You raised your gaze, focusing on reaching the empty seat next to Yoongi, who was looking at his phone. 

You took a seat next to him, handing him the drink. He murmured a small ‘thank you’, but didn’t look at you. “What are you doing?” You asked him, burying a finger on the side of his torso, making him jump in surprise.

“I’m trying to prove you wrong, look…” He replied, showing the screen of his phone to you. You narrowed your eyes, trying to focus your gaze on whatever he was showing to you, a website filled with reviews of Home Alone 2. “It has good reviews.”

You snatched the phone off his hands, observing the preview photo and the poster of, what it seemed to be, Yoongi’s favorite movie. You scrolled for a couple seconds, checking if what he said was true. “Three stars' average reviews is not good.” You informed him, but now he looked offended. 

“Three stars is good for a Christmas movie, what are you talking about?” He insisted. 

“What are you talking about? The first one has five stars’ average reviews, if you settle for bad Christmas movies, that’s on you.” You teased him, giving him his phone back. 

He shook his head, scoffing “I can’t believe you think Home Alone 2 is a bad Christmas movie, it has that scene with the pigeon lady!” He kept insisting. 

“Which scene?” You asked, but by doing that, you gave yourself away. 

“What do you mean which scene?” He asked, confused. You opened your mouth, wanting to defend yourself, but then he gasped. “God, Pinky. You have never watched Home Alone 2, haven’t you? 

Your mouth hung open, starting to laugh “I-... I just-”

“No, I can’t believe it.” He laughed, shaking his head in disapproval “You never watched it.”

“I’ve watched the beginning, okay?” You tried to explain. “And I think it was enough for me to decide if it was a good movie or not.”

“Bullshit.” Yoongi said, now a bit offended that you talked shit about a movie that you didn’t even finish.“You can’t decide that if you didn’t even watch the scene with the pigeon lady.”

You laughed even harder, covering your mouth with the palm of your hand. “I don’t even know what you’re talking about.”

He opened his eyes widely. “Of course you don’t, you didn’t watch the movie!” He exclaimed “You just have to stop pretending to be a film critic to enjoy some movies, you know that?”

You rolled your eyes. “C’mon, the fact that I’m here means that I’m willing to try.”

The fact that you were here meant you were irremediably in love with him, a voice in your head reminded you of that, and maybe it was the same thing. 

“For me?” He teased you, making you close your eyes for a split second. That didn’t help at all. 

You sank into your seat, “For you, I guess.”

And that could've been the beginning of the end of the night. You and Yoongi watching the movie and coming back home before it was too late and laying in bed remembering every word he said, like they meant something else, before falling asleep.

But nothing could ever be that simple. 

“You!” A high pitched voice interrupted the silence. You raised your gaze, startled. Your eyes found a redhead girl turned around in the seat in front of you, pointing her finger at you with a big smile decorating her bright red lips.  “I knew I recognized that voice from somewhere!”

You felt your stomach drop.

Minnie. 

“Oh, God, Minnie.” You breathed out. “You scared me!”

Perhaps on the way here you prayed so hard not to see somebody you knew tonight  that whoever that was up there in the sky heard you, but instead of helping you, decided to laugh at you in your face, because sitting directly in front of you was Minnie, one of your closest partners during your theater days. 

And the only person who you ever told about Yoongi. 

“Do I look that old?” She giggled, cupping her face in her palms “It’s only been a few years, but I feel like I haven’t seen you in decades!”

 “Yes…I mean, no!” You pressed your lips together, crossing looks with Yoongi, who looked at you with curious eyes. “I just didn't expect to see you here.”

“Me?” Minnie scrunched her nose, laughing “I didn’t expect to see you, what are you doing here?”

“Me?” You nervously laughed. “I was in town and I- we came to see the movie…” You managed to explain, trying to act as normal as possible, but you were sure that your shaking eyes, jumping from Yoongi’s face to Minnie’s, were giving you away. “This is Yoongi, by the way. And this is Minnie, a friend.” You introduced both of them. 

If any of them realized how nervous you were, they didn’t say a thing. 

Minnie, as expressive as she was, opened her eyes wide open, surprised. 

“Oh, Yoongi, Yoongi?” She asked, emphasizing every vowel of his name.

“Is there another Yoongi?” Yoongi laughed, turning his head to see you. 

You wanted to vomit. 

“Mmm, not that I know of!” She smiled, offering her hand for him to shake. “Nice to finally meet you, Yoongi-Yoongi.” Yoongi took her hand, shaking it three times right in front of your petrified face. “I heard a lot of things about you back in the day.”

Minnie winked at you in a very exaggerated manner, instantly making you freeze in your place. Now you were a hundred percent sure that you were about to vomit, but maybe that would be an amazing scenario for you, you would have to run away to the closest bathroom and wouldn’t have to be in the presence of this interaction.

“Oh, really?” Yoongi smiled, displaying his gummy smile. “What things?”

“You know, all kinds of things.” She raised her eyebrows, clearly amused with the look on your face, that begged her to please shut up. 

“Me and Minnie- we used to come here a lot when we were in high school.” You intervened in the conversation, trying to change the subject as soon as you could without thinking much. 

“That’s right, we were pretty close!” She reminisced “We were always paired up together.”

“Paired up in what?” Yoongi asked, naturally. 

“Theater.” She explained without giving you much time to think about saying something else. “Didn’t you know that your girl had her beginnings here, at The Alley?”

You gulped, and Yoongi, for the first time during the night, seemed to read you just right. He tilted his head, surprised “Well, no. She didn’t say anything.”

“Really?” She frowned, not understanding why, but Yoongi immediately got it. 

“It was a long time ago…” You trailed off, trying hard not to make it seem like a big deal, like it was just a hobby you had when you were a teenager, but Yoongi knew you. He could see it in your eyes, the same look you had when Simon caught you using his legos, when you had to tell your mom you got suspended for getting in a fight in high school, the same look you had when you were caught. It was clear to him that you didn’t want him to see that part of you, whatever it was.

“I mean, she’s always been pretty mysterious, hasn’t she?” Minnie said “It takes a while to figure her out, you’ll get there.”

“I think I’m close enough, aren’t I?” His answer was smooth, almost annoying you. He playfully squeezed your knee and you wished he hadn't done it, because your old friend was now looking at you with stars in her eyes full of excitement. It had been almost four years since you had a proper talk with Minnie, but despite the fact that little to nothing happened between you and the man next to you, you were sure she was convinced you were on a date right now. 

And perhaps it was not just his hand on your knee, maybe it was the fond look on his eyes too, seeking complicity in his jokes, but you were not going to go down that route tonight. You scoffed. “Not one bit.” You said, out of bitterness, because Yoongi knew you as well as your brother, perhaps his only flaws were being dumb and blind, but that came with being a man anyway. 

For your own good, the lights of the room flickered twice, meaning that the movie was about to start soon. “That means I should leave you alone, right?” Minnie sighed,  “But it’s really nice to see you here after so long, sweetheart.” 

You nodded, offering her a soft smile, but you couldn’t help but feel guilty. It was in Minnie’s nature to always offer love and kindness to everyone, but it was hard to hold her gaze when she called you by that name, knowing that you didn’t deserve it. 

 “It’s nice to see you, too.” Was all you could say, despite it being a lie. 

In another universe you would’ve loved to see your old friend and feel something bigger than nostalgia, but you couldn’t, you felt obligated to reject the feeling. You couldn’t live in the fantasy of what could have been. 

She was about to turn around, but before she could do it, she raised one of her fingers, like she just remembered something. “By the way… Are you still doing theater?” She inquired.

You shrugged, shaking your head “Ummm… Not really…”

She pouted, disappointed. “That’s a shame, because… I don’t know, it’s crazy that I’m seeing you tonight. I know of someone who’s looking for someone just like you, if you were interested.” Her words lingered in the air, but the lights flickered again.  “But I’m guessing I should keep that for after the movie… And Yoongi!” She exclaimed, pointing at him “I’m glad that you finally stopped dating dumb girls, my friend right there was very popular around here. You’re very lucky.”

You almost gasped, immediately turning your head to Yoongi, who just scoffed amused. Before you could even breathe, your friend turned around exactly when the lights went off, starting the movie right away.

You held your breath for what felt to be an eternity, but in the darkness you saw a smirk tugging from Yoongi’s lips, being followed by an outburst of laughter. The sound of his quiet laugh made you freeze in your place, was he laughing at you?

You opened your mouth, trying to find an explanation for your friend’s comment, but he shook his head as if he was stopping you, clearly entertained by the shocking look on your face. “Oh, save it for later.” He whispered, brushing it off. 

You pressed your lips together, sinking in your seat as you observed him focusing on the movie, and you were supposed to do the same, but you couldn’t think of anything else. The only thing you could hope for was that he couldn’t see how red your face was, because you sure as hell could feel it. 

God, you wanted to die, but whoever put you through this whole thing knew that death could only be seen as kindness. 

How come that after years of quitting theater you were still being this dramatic? You didn’t know, but tonight death felt like a greater destiny than the embarrassment you felt. 

In situations like these, you remembered two specific times during the past seven years when you thought you got over Yoongi, but then you realized you failed miserably.

You evoked the memory of those two situations for a special reason, to teach you a lesson: you must not continue to engage with the man sitting next to you. There were three reasons for you to learn from this lesson, because otherwise:

It would hurt your mind. 

It would hurt your heart.

It would hurt your soul.

These seemed three perfectly logical reasons to learn the lesson, but you were never the best student. 

The first memory that always came to mind was the first time Yoongi and Simon came back home for Christmas after going to college. It had been six months since you decided to convince yourself that the last two years you spent being in love with him were just a fever, but when Yoongi walked in the room and you saw that he got a new haircut and pierced his ears, you thought that the plan “get over my brother’s best friend” would not work at all, at least not now. Maybe you could try the following year.

(Spoiler: the following year did not work either.)

The second time was last summer, a few months ago, when both of them came back for summer break and Yoongi invited you to some pool party. You were supposed to go with Simon, but at the last minute he ended up getting sick and told you two to go alone. There was a time when you believed that Simon worked as some kind of barrier between you and Yoongi, hanging out with them meant that now you were a group of three, it reminded you that the only reason you kept seeing Yoongi was because he was Simon’s best friend, nothing else. And when you and Yoongi were alone, well… It was different.

That night none of you were planning to get into the pool, it was a strange house full of strange people and it almost felt like you were crashing the party. You were wearing a black summer dress and Yoongi was wearing jeans, you only went for free alcohol and to check if someone had any weed, you thought you were safe. Of course every little effort you made trying not to think that way about him anymore was ruined when decided to take off his shirt, grab you by your hips and jump in the pool, dragging you with him. 

Needless to say, you were furious.  The only thought that crossed your mind was that neither of you had a change of clothes, but he didn’t care. When you got your head out of the water, you saw him laughing. 

You gasped “Fuck you!” You punched his arm, not caring that everyone around you was observing you, laughing because he did something cute.

He kept laughing “I’m sorry, you looked hot!” He defended himself, grabbing your arms to pull you closer under the water. 

“What!?” You shouted, fighting against his hold but wondering if you heard that right. 

“You looked like you needed a dip!” He clarified, shouting back. His lips stretched widely, showing you a white smile. You wished you could punch that cheeky expression off his face, but you were too busy trying not to sink into the water as he firmly gripped your waist, crashing your body against his bare chest. 

“You idiot, I can’t swim!” You whined, gripping his shoulders so you wouldn’t drown. 

He snickered, hugging you closer. “It’s fine, Pinky, I wouldn’t let you die in front of all these people.”

The moment you realized you had not gotten over Yoongi was not then, it was not when he took off his shirt either, and it was not when you saw him running his fingers through his wet hair, nor when you saw the drops of water dripping down his wide back, no. Not even when he wrapped his strong arms around your body or when he gripped your hips and lifted you up to seat you on the edge of the pool. You realized that you were still in love with Yoongi when he sat next to you, and when he realized that you were not playing, that you were really angry, he cupped your face in his hands and kissed your forehead, whispering “I’m sorry.” 

The heart clenching memory of the look on his face, the sound of his voice and the touch of his lips against your skin were enough to screw you up, but not enough to make you learn the lesson.

Now, sitting next to him, you began to think that you were finally losing your mind when you tried to focus on the movie for the first ten minutes, and then for the next thirty minutes, and the next fifty, but when an hour passed you found out, or you just remembered, that it was useless to focus on something else when Yoongi was by your side. 

You often forgot how impossible it was for you to ignore Yoongi’s presence, even in the most packed and loudest rooms, but the confirmation that you finally drove yourself insane was when you noticed that you just couldn’t ignore his arm laying next to yours in the shared armrest, or your hands touching when you reached to grab popcorn, and you certainly couldn’t ignore his fingers when they reached to play with the fabric of the hem of your sleeve. 

You carefully looked down to the arm rest, observing his fingers tugging the tiny piece of ruffle fabric at the end of your sleeve. He wasn’t trying to get your attention or to annoy you, it was something almost unconscious, a small gesture, very easy to miss, but it was enough for you to stop breathing for a moment. Now, it was impossible to ignore the warmth of his fingers slightly grazing over your wrist. 

You sighed deeply, feeling the failure sinking in your bones once again. The line between what you were supposed to feel and what you were actually feeling was always blurry, but this time seemed to be completely erased, and once again, you were the one to blame for thinking that this time seeing Yoongi could be any different. 

You were screwed up again. 

You could say you enjoyed the last part of the movie, at least the parts where you were zoning out enough to quiet your mind, but when the lights were turned on you remembered that your brain hated you.

Your eyes swept the place, observing the people around you clapping as the credits rolled down. 

“So?” His voice sneaked into the hustle and bustle of your head, making you turn to look at him, but your eyes focused on the almost empty bucket of popcorn on his lap. “Do you like it? I’ve never seen Home Alone on a big screen.”

You grabbed a handful of popcorn from the very bottom of the bucket. “I’ve seen it plenty of times on a big screen.” You said, stuffing your mouth with the food so you wouldn’t answer any of the questions you knew he was about to make, but the second those words left your mouth you realized you gave yourself away.

“Yeah, I imagine.” He scoffed, signaling with his head towards the empty seat where Minnie was sitting a few seconds ago. You were grateful that she disappeared the moment the movie ended so she wouldn’t hear this conversation. “I heard some of it just now.” You huffed, pretending to be tired of him and chewing long enough to prevent yourself from talking. “Is there anything else I should know? Apart from the fact that you have a secret twin who takes theater classes and has friends who are actually nice?”

The only thing that could come out of your mouth was something rude. “Oh, shut up.” You spat, looking at anything else except his face. 

Yoongi shifted on his seat with a shameless smirk decorating his face, getting closer to you. “Don’t! Don’t shut me up.” He laughed, casually grabbing your face between his fingers so you wouldn’t run away from his gaze. “I want to know all about that, like, were you really talking shit about me during high school?”

You frowned, remembering what Minnie said about Yoongi dating dumb girls. Of all the conclusions he could have drawn from that, was that the one he came up with?”

“I wasn’t… talking shit about you.” You wanted to explain “Have you considered that I was just really into gossiping?”

He snorted, “It’s the same thing.” 

“It’s not.” You denied. 

“So you were gossiping about me?” He asked “About the girls I dated?”

“C’mon, what about it?” You tried to dismiss as quickly as possible “I was like fourteen, and in my defense, you never had good taste in girls.” 

Yoongi narrowed his eyes, a bit offended “Why? You really think the girls I dated were dumb?” You bit your bottom lip, trying to suppress a laugh. “That’s not very feminist of you.”

You rolled your eyes “Oh shut up, what do you know about feminism?” You said. “Those were just… facts.”

“Yeah, I’m sure of that.” He scoffed “What I’m not so sure about is that thing your friend said… That I’m really lucky to be with you.” 

“Ignore her.” You tried to cut him, looking away so he wouldn’t notice how embarrassed you were.

“No, why?” He smiled, poking fun at you. “She said you were really popular, but I don’t get it. I don’t know a man who could stand your behavior for more than two hours. Besides me, of course.”

You could be offended by that, but it was the truth. 

“Well, they couldn't,” You said, crossing your arms over your chest. “They just wanted me for my talent.”

“Let me doubt that.” He said “If you were so good, why did you never tell me?”

“Well, it was a secret” You confessed, there was no point in hiding now. “I didn’t want anyone to know, people would think it was dumb.” 

“And when did you care about what other people think?”

You sighed. All the time, you wanted to say, but you kept that for yourself. 

“I just... wanted it for myself, no one had to know.” You explained.

Yoongi waited a few seconds for you to say something else, but you weren’t willing to pour your heart to him just yet. Yes, when you found The Alley you discovered a part of yourself that was completely unique, but that didn’t mean you wanted to share it. It was for you only, and you were happy with that. 

“Well, Pinky.” He sighed, squeezing your knee like he always did. “Even if it was a secret… I’m telling you, you were pretty obvious.” 

“What do you mean?” You frowned, confused

 “I mean, you always liked High School Musical a little bit too much.” He explained as a mocking smirk tugged from the corners of his lips. “At first I thought it was just Zac Efron, but now it makes sense.”

You nudged his shoulder before the frown in your face disappeared into laughter. “High School Musical is the best movie ever, to be obsessed with it was just logical.” You tried to excuse yourself “That and, of course, Zac Efron.”

“I never thought you would have a thing for basketball players.” He muttered, trying to play nonchalant as his eyes wandered towards the corner of the room, circling back to your gaze. You realized he was expecting an answer for that. 

“Kind of.” You waved off, pretending to be laid back about it. “But only the ones who have this internal struggle about their father’s plans for their future and their unusual passion for musical comedy.”

He let out an amused snort. “Very specific, what a shame.”

You stared at him for a second, wondering what game he was trying to play now. 

You tried so hard to keep your face straight, to try to show him that you weren’t phased by any of his stupid jokes. You wanted to remind him that you weren’t like any of those girls who were charmed just by the sight of his eyes, you weren’t like those girls he stopped in the hallways just to make them giggle when you were in high school, you wanted to make clear that you were different — except that, of course, you weren’t. The moment he displayed that specific smirk, you committed the unforgivable crime of blushing. 

But he was quick to dismiss it, he always was. 

And you were obligated to forget about it. 

“So? Why did you leave it?” He inquired, “Were you that bad?” He ignored that the room was now almost empty. Maybe in another situation you would’ve taken advantage of that and told him it was time to go to avoid telling the truth, but why hide now? Maybe telling the truth wasn’t so bad. 

You smirked, rolling your eyes. “I was the best one in my group, you don’t even know.” 

“Yeah?” He moved closer to you with big eyes, showing you how curious he was.

“Of course, do you have any doubts?” 

“Well, yes, a few.” He teased “I’d have to see it for myself.”

“Sure, when they clear the stage I’ll do a demonstration just for you.” You joked, successfully making him laugh. 

“That would be an amazing way to avoid my question.” He pointed.

You felt your chest getting lighter, and if that hinted you that it meant something dangerous, you ignored it. 

“I wasn’t doing that.” You tried to defend yourself. 

“You do that all the time.” He reminded you, and he was right. You bit back a smile, darting him a look for exposing you. 

“Fine, then. I’ll be honest.” You surrendered, maybe Yoongi could convince you to jump off a cliff if he looked at you with those eyes. “I left it when I was finishing high school, I was about to leave for college and… I had to grow up, you know? I grew too attached to this place but I knew I couldn’t cling onto these things forever.”

“Can’t you?” He questioned “Didn’t you like to do it?”

“I mean, yes, but-”

“Then, why drop it?” He interrupted.

You breathed in, wishing that you could find the words to say it in a way that made sense, because you weren’t sure what was right or wrong anymore. 

“Maybe I was on an ego trip back then, I don’t know.” You admitted. “I thought I was genuinely good but I couldn’t do anything about it, like I was stuck here. I had to let it go, for me it’s all or nothing.”

Perhaps you weren’t talking only about theater now. Perhaps you were talking about everything, perhaps you were talking about him. And it was a bit harsh, but it was the truth, or what you decided to be the truth.  Yoongi took one hard look at you, as if he was expecting you to realize how dumb that sounded, but you already knew that, otherwise you wouldn’t be there right now, at home before Christmas because you dropped out of college. You didn’t even know if when you left for college that excuse made sense, you just knew that you were bitter and angry and if you couldn't follow your dreams, you didn’t want them at all. And if you couldn’t be with Yoongi, you couldn’t see him at all. 

You ripped the bandaid off, but three years later it exploded in your face.

“All or nothing?” He repeated, but you just nodded. “But did you try first? Because as far as I know you didn’t.”

You bitterly laughed,“Yeah, right” You got up from your seat, ready to leave “And who would’ve taken me seriously?”

He got up with you, blocking the way to stop you from getting out from the sea of chairs just yet. You raised your chin, finding his eyes. “I would have.” He casually mumbled, but his words echoed in your head, clenching your heart. 

You tried to search in your brain for something snarky to say, but you froze under his gaze. “And If I wouldn’t have…” He continued “If I were a complete prick who doesn’t care about you, you should’ve done it anyway. Even if your mom puts on a bad face.”

You wanted to stop him, to shut him up. But he was right, even if you didn’t need to hear that tonight. You loved your mom and you knew she didn’t expect anything from you but to be happy, she was just worried, you knew that, but you hated that she had to see you trip with your own decisions. 

“Have you ever tried to be wrong?” You asked him, pushing his chest with your palms. “Like, just once?” Walking past him, hearing his laugh behind you followed by his quick steps running after you. 

“Don’t be mad ‘cause I’m right.” He teased. 

“I’m not mad.” You said, walking towards the entrance, hearing music coming from the other room. “Just annoyed that you had to go to college and left me here making dumb decisions.” 

He smiled, happy that you decided to show a glimpse of love for him. “Do I need to remind you that you’re just twenty one and your life is not over?”

“Yes, maybe.” You said “Several times a day, please.”

You stood in the hall, attempting to put your coat back on, but he stopped you, stealing the piece of clothing away from you. “What are you doing?” He asked, smiling. “Don’t you know that we have to dance now?”

You widely opened your eyes, almost completely forgetting that. When you bought the tickets for movie nights, you were also invited to the afterparty that was held right after the movie ended, hence the loud music playing in the next room, the biggest one of the place. You didn’t think Yoongi would be interested in staying. 

“Do you want to dance?” You checked first. You didn’t know if you were interested in staying either. 

“C’mon, I have plenty of experience from frat parties.” He bragged, taking a few steps back towards the room where the music came from. 

You shook your head. “This isn’t like those parties you went to with Simon where they play Shape Of You every three songs” 

“Why would it be different?” He said, slightly offended. Yoongi kinda liked Shape Of You…  

You grabbed his hand, dragging him into the next room as you asked him something very important, “Yoongi, do you know who The Strokes are?”

After entering the room, Yoongi disappeared for a few moments to leave your coats in the cloakroom of the place, leaving you alone to collect your thoughts once again. When you first entered the place to watch the movie you couldn’t wait to leave, and now you were in a dark room under the red lights, feeling excited at the idea of dancing like you were a teenager again. It was time for you to understand that your life was already a mess, nothing was going to change if you stayed at The Alley dancing just for tonight.

When Yoongi came back you were quick to drag him towards the center of the dancefloor, right when the first chords of Last Nite by the Strokes began to resonate in the room, you couldn’t help but feel a rush of happiness running down your body. Yoongi looked at you funny, rolling his sleeves up to his elbows. He didn’t expect that you, of all people, would be excited to dance. 

It turned out that Yoongi didn’t live under a rock, he did know who The Strokes were, but barely. You knew that he always preferred hip hop and rap, but the lack of interest he had for other genres surprised you. “I don’t know the song!” He shouted over the music 

“What about it?” You said, grabbing his hands to pull him closer. “You must dance anyway, or they’ll kick you out!”

The look of terror in Yoongi’s eyes made you laugh, but you didn’t pity him, he was the one who wanted to dance in the first place, even when both of you knew that he wasn’t the kind of person who dance at parties, he wasn’t the kind of person who danced at all. 

“How!?” He asked, ignoring the mass of people jumping around him. 

“Just do what I do!” You exclaimed, shaking your head side to side to the rhythm, making the strands of your hair hit your face, and his face too. Yoongi laughed, knowing then that if he didn’t dance he would look like an absolute loser. He was still hesitant to follow you, but when you began to jump, he slowly began to jump too, trying hard to shake his head the same way you were doing as he felt his ribcage shake from his laughter. 

You nodded your head, happily tapping your feet against the ground to the loud rhythm of the drums “Oh, baby I feel so down, oh, it turn’ me off” You sang to him, but he shook his head, disappointed that he didn’t know the lyrics and couldn’t sing the words back to you, but you didn’t care, you were happy enough watching him trying to copy your moves. 

You grabbed his hands, perhaps taking advantage of the situation to tangle his fingers with you, opening your arms with your hands still connected to his, shortening the distance. “I’m not a good dancer either.” You said, maybe way too close to his face. 

Yoongi scrunched his nose, giving you a half twirl to make your back crush against his chest, trapping you between his arms. “Are you saying I’m not a good dancer?” You felt his lips brushing against your cheek, making you shiver. 

You closed your eyes shut, trying to breathe in. “Not all!” You yelled, spinning out of his arms. “But no one’s watching.”

He took the liberty to slide his hands down your torso, gripping your waist and pulling you close to his body. “You are watching.” He said, like he was reminding you. 

“Then, impress me.” 

You were thankful that the sound of the music drowned the sound of your heart, who was threatening to run away from your chest in the exact moment he smiled at you, accepting the challenge. 

You couldn’t count the amount of times Yoongi made you spin in the room, like you were dancing a waltz, before you realized that neither of you were wearing clothes made for dancing, you were wearing a black long sleeve shirt and Yoongi was wearing that ridiculous white dress shirt that made him look like he came out of one of your dreams when he rolled up his sleeves.  As one song ended and another one started, he began to stop caring if he didn’t know the lyrics, it was fine as long as he followed you, but when your hands began to felt sweaty and you felt like you needed air, you decided it was time to leave, but not before you finished dancing Song 2 by Blur, because what other chance would you have to dance Song 2 by Blur with Yoongi? And what other chance would you have to watch him copy every move you made like you were an expert at dancing? And what other chance would you have to be alone with him without feeling like your heart was sinking? It was like the loud music didn’t allow you to feel anything else but joy, or maybe you were already high from all the people smoking weed around you, either way, you were happy. 

You didn’t want to began feeling overwhelmed, the most exciting thing that happened today, before Yoongi, was finding out that your mom’s boyfriend gave her a teddy bear that sang All I Want For Christmas Is You by Mariah Carey when you pressed its paw, you could blame —or just thank him— for taking you out of your house. Your heart didn’t feel as heavy as it did at the beginning of the night, but you knew it was time to leave. 

As he waited at the door, you decided to look for your coats. There was a line of people waiting to leave theirs, when you were just trying to leave the place. You expected to get in line, wait a maximum of five minutes and then leave, but right at the end of the line you found, of course, Minnie, because it couldn’t be any other way. 

She was alone, holding two purses and a big puffer jacket that was probably not hers. As soon as you stood behind her, she turned around, clearly she wasn’t expecting to see you again. “Oh, hi again!” She greeted you with the same big white smile you saw earlier tonight. “I had to leave when the movie ended, but I wanted to talk to you, where’s your boyfriend?”

You sighed, not wanting to remember what she said to Yoongi. “He’s not my boyfriend, Minnie.” You said. “He’s just… Yoongi.”

“Just Yoongi, huh?” She raised her eyebrows, pursing her lips. “What are you doing on a date with Just Yoongi?”

“It’s not a date, he just invited me to watch the movie.” You tried to explain, but she wasn’t convinced. 

“Sounds like a date to me.” She giggled, completely ignoring what you said. “I remember when you were like fifteen and cried because he kissed some ugly girl at the New Year’s party, and now you’re on a date!” 

You shook your head, you didn't dare to acknowledge what she said. The memory of that night made you cringe, you remembered running to Minnie and telling everything about it while sobbing like somebody just died. She hugged you and told you that she was sure the girl was super ugly, which wasn’t the truth at all, but it was the version she decided to keep. 

“But it’s not a date.” You reminded her.

“If you say so…” She winked at you, taking a step forward to advance in the line. “But anyway! Weren’t you still in college?” 

Perhapsit was the rush of the dopamine in your body, or the fact that she spoke to you as if not a day had passed since the last time she saw you, but you told her the truth. 

“Well, I’m supposed to be in college.” You said, “But I dropped out recently.” 

“Oh, thank God.” She suddenly let out, almost by accident. You looked at her, amused that she dared to say that. “I mean, don’t get me wrong!” She rushed to say “It’s just, you know, it was about time for you to realize.” 

You smiled, feeling your chest getting warm. When you told people you dropped out of college, most of the time they looked worried, like you made a mistake, but Minnie looked relieved, and that made you feel like it wasn’t such a horrible decision. 

“I know, don’t remind me.” You huffed, looking at your feet. 

“I can't help but do it.” She said, crossing her arms over her chest, thinking “I always thought I was going to see you on a big screen someday, I was disappointed when you left for college.”

How cheesy, you wanted to say, but you couldn’t, not when she was the one who believed in you in ways you never did. 

“Well, I’m out of there now.” You just said. 

“So, if you’re not in college and you’re not doing theater, what are you doing?”

You scoffed, feeling like you just got scolded “Rotting in bed until Christmas, I guess.”

“Okay, I can respect that, but what about after the holidays?” She continued to ask. 

You shrugged, “I have to figure that out yet.”

“So… About what I was telling you before the movie started…”

“Yeah, I mean, about that…” You wanted to interrupt her, but she was quick to cut your sentence.

“Yeah, I know what you’re gonna say, you’re out the theater stuff too, I know.” She said, waving her hands in front of your face so you wouldn’t keep talking. “But I’ve got this friend in the city who’s a director, he is working on this project and is looking for a main character, I don’t know, for some reason it reminded me of you. And now you’re here, so it has to mean something, right?”

You furrowed your eyebrows “Why would it remind you of?” You inquired. “We haven’t seen each other in years.”

“Crazy, isn’t it?” She laughed, “He pitched to me, it’s some gothic dramatic love story, he wanted to know if I knew of someone.”

Was this some kind of joke? You, realizing that you were never happy in college, coming back home, coming back to the theater where you used to dream to step on a stage someday, or Yoongi telling you all that stuff about not even trying to make your dreams come true, and now this? Something inside you moved, you didn’t know what, but you did know why you were home after all. You told Yoongi about this in your garage the other day, you dropped out of college for a reason, you weren’t built to have a nine to five job, but you also weren’t sure what is what you wanted.

You looked at Minnie like you were sorry to turn down her proposal “Minnie, I haven’t been on a play in years.” You told her, already anticipating the rejection of her offer.

“I know that, but I’ve always trusted your talent, otherwise I wouldn’t be talking about this.” She replied “Look, I’m not asking you to say yes right now, but if you want to know more you can give me your new number.” You kept quiet for a few seconds. Not knowing what to say, you began to nervously laugh, that sounded crazy to you. “C’mon, don’t laugh! If it's of any use, it's a very well paid job.”

Now you began to laugh for real. “What do you mean it's a very well paid job?” You asked, not believing her for one second. Most plays you used to be part of during your high school days never left a dime. 

“It is!” She insisted “You don’t know my friend, he has rich parents, he doesn't do things for the love of art. I mean, he likes theater, but he also likes money.”

Well, that could’ve made you change your mind right away a four years ago, but still, a few hours ago you came to this place counting the seconds to leave, now you were debating if you should accept a job offer. You shook your head, realizing that the line moved far enough, it was Minnie’s turn to leave her coat. 

She took a few seconds and then it was your turn. You quickly asked for Yoongi’s jacket and your coat and when you turned around, Minnie was still there, not willing to give up. 

“What do I have to do to convince you to at least give me your new number?” She pleaded, looking for something in her mini bag. You observed her pulling a lighter and a joint and putting it between her lips to light it up. 

“What are you willing to do?” You joked, or not. 

“What do you have in mind?” Well, she knew you. 

“I have an idea…” You insinuated, pointing at the joint. 

She let out a cloud of smoke out of her mouth, suddenly frowning. “Really?” She said, trying not to sound annoyed, you nodded your head several times, almost excited.  “You can’t be asking for the whole joint.”

“But I am.”

Minnie shook her head in denial. “I can let you smoke it once, I’m not giving it to you.” She offered instead, but you wanted to make it worth it. If you were going to even consider accepting the job, if you were going to even think about something like theater again, you wanted at least something in return. 

“I’m giving you half my number, then.” You said “Try to guess the other half.” 

She narrowed her eyes, hesitating. Your old friend knew that you weren’t joking at all, and for some reason she really wanted you to consider her offer. You knew you won when she rolled her eyes, giving in. “You never stopped being a little bitch, have you?” She hissed, reluctantly handed you the joint. You happily accepted, taking a long drag before it went out. Minnie sighed, sadly watching her perfectly rolled joint in the hands of someone else. “So? Your new number?”

A devilish smirk appeared in your face as you began to walk backwards, taking long steps towards the entrance as you enjoyed the confused expression on Minnie’s face. “I never changed my number.” You confessed. 

Minnie’s mouth hung open in disbelief, but she made sure that the last thing you saw from her that night was her middle finger up, directed towards you. 

It’s been a long time since you outright refused to feel something remotely close to nostalgia, to live evoking memories, to think that a fleeting good moment could make up for all the bad ones, but it was impossible not to. Instead, you were condemned to live wondering what it would be like to come back home someday and not feel this way, to come to The Alley and not feel like you left a part of you there, to look at Yoongi and not feel like you were going to miss him all your life. 

And tonight wasn’t an exception, because when you came back to Yoongi and he offered what seemed to be the warmest smile in the coldest of winters, you knew it might haunt you forever. 

But maybe, just for tonight, you didn’t care. 

“Why are you making that face?” Yoongi asked, raising a brow as he grabbed his jacket from your hands. 

“What face?” You asked back, innocently keeping your hands behind your back.

He opened his mouth to explain what he meant, but then shut it again, staying silent for a minute as he inspected your face. “Did you just… smoke weed?” He laughed, probably already smelling it. 

A smile appeared on your face as you showed him your right hand. Yoongi observed the joint between your thumb and index finger, and wondering where you got that, he tried to take it from your hands. 

You took a step back, moving your arm away from him so he wouldn’t steal it. “What? Is this not legal?” You chuckled.

“Who gave you that?” He asked, grabbing your wrist, but you raised your arm higher. 

“Are you interrogating me?” You kept teasing him, fighting his hold. “I’m sorry Mr. Min, but I’m not a snitch.” 

Yoongi let go of your wrist, quickly giving up. “Are you not sharing?” He asked, a little disappointed. 

“I don’t know.” You pointed your finger at your chin, pretending to think about it “Are you allowed?” 

You walked past him, heading towards the entrance to exit the place. “You’re so annoying.” You heard him say, already knowing he was following you.

Both of you knew that the night was coming to an end, as soon as you stepped foot on the street you could smell the dew on the grass and hear how loud were your footsteps on the empty street. You looked at him through your lashes, observing him lighting up the joint between your lips as with a lighter he found in his pockets. You held the smoke inside your mouth for a few seconds before blowing it on his face, but he just laughed, stealing from your lips. 

You wondered what else you could do to make him stay a bit longer. 

He crossed the desolate street, grabbing your hand to drag you into the poorly illuminated park. It was really cold and you could see your cold breath in the air. Everyone else in the world seemed to agree that it was time to sleep, but you didn’t dare to complain as he decided to take the long way home. 

“How do you know when you’re high?” He curiously asked, eyes locking up with yours as he took another draw. 

It was easy for you to tell, you could get high with only one puff. “I have this thing, I test if my teeth are heavy.” You told him, expecting him to understand right away. 

He laughed, confused. “What do you mean?” 

“Look, if you clench your jaw you can tell that your teeth touch each other.” You explained. Yoongi stopped dead in his tracks, standing in front of you to test it himself. “I know that I’m high when my top teeth are feeling heavy.”

Yoongi snorted, keeping his mouth closed to test it himself. “I don’t know if mine are heavy.” He said “Are yours?”

You already knew you’re high, but you tested it regardless. Closing your mouth, you pressed your teeth together to know “Yes, they are.” You laughed, feeling dizzy. “How do you know?”

It wasn’t the first time you saw Yoongi high, you remembered that time, you were woken up at three in the morning when your brother dragged him into your house after their graduation party because he smoked too much, and Yoongi’s mom couldn’t find out that her son almost died because he didn't know how to use a bong. 

It was the first time that he made Simon look like the responsible friend. Yoongi was seeing shadows before leaving the party and when he arrived at your home was calmer, but still high. He was strangely afraid of going upstairs, so the three of you stayed in the living room watching very low quality episodes of Pinky and The Brain on YouTube. Simon let you stay under the condition of not telling your mom about Yoongi having a bad trip, so you did. The memory of Yoongi laughing at the screen and eating the cake your mom bought to celebrate was still very engraved in your mind.

This version was very different. Yoongi’s hooded eyes were crystallized and there was an awkward smile plastered on his face that wasn’t going away. You could tell he was high in the way he was walking, and especially in the way he was still holding your hand.

The silence lingered in the air for a second. He pressed his lips together, scanning your face. “I know I’m high when it’s hard for me to tell if I’m looking at one thing or the whole picture.” He tried to explain “Like, I can’t focus on more than one thing at once.”

Somehow, you understood. “What are you looking at right now?”

In that moment, Yoongi seemed to be asking himself that very same question in his head, but he already knew the answer. 

 “Your mouth.” He replied innocently.

Someone in the very back of your mind started to wave a big red flag, but on the surface, where an intoxicated version of yourself was laying under the moonlight, you could only laugh. 

“Isn’t it a bit distracting?” You asked him, pulling him forward so he would start walking towards the exit of the park. 

“Yes, very.” he guaranteed “But I don’t mind.”

Yoongi followed you out of the park, and in a team of two you remembered the way to your home. It was like both of your brains had turned off, the conversation didn’t have to mean anything, you didn’t have to wonder why he was there with you at all. 

The clock on your phone said that it was three in the morning, but in your mind time had stopped forever, or at least until next morning. When you turned the corner and reached the end of the street, you knew it was time to say goodbye. But what if you didn’t want to?

You struggled to find your keys, maybe because you were high or maybe because you just didn’t want to remember where the keys were. And when you had to open the door, you leaned against the door frame to say your last words. 

You looked at him with hooded eyes, his pink lips were slightly parted, like they were about to say something but they didn’t. In the haze of the moment you thought it looked just like an invitation to kiss him, but of course you wouldn’t. Of course you couldn’t. 

What you could do, instead, was prevent him from leaving, at least for a while. Was that allowed? You weren’t in your right mind to answer that question. 

You sighed, sleepy, touching the collar of his shirt. “I can’t let you go home like this.” You let out, faster than you could think. 

Yoongi scrunched his nose. “It’s fine, it’s just a few blocks away.” He waved off your concern, but his feet were dug deeply on the wood floor of your porch. 

“It’s not a few blocks away.” You argued “You live like ten blocks away, and you’re still high…”

“I can manage.” He smirked, tucking a strand of your hair behind your ear like it was nothing. 

“C’mon, you can stay.” You offered. “My bed is big enough for both of us.”

Your voice came as a whisper, but your words are clearly heard by Yoongi. He scoffed, causing you to start laughing “I didn’t mean that.” You blurted out. trying to correct yourself, but he was already laughing at you. 

“What did you mean?” He was curious. 

You lightly punched his shoulder. “I meant that… You can stay.” You repeated “Besides… There’s still Simon’s old clothes you can wear to sleep.” 

He raised his eyebrows, getting closer to your face, or not, you weren’t sure. 

“What would your mom say?” He mumbled, still in denial. 

“What?” You chuckled “I’ll tell her the truth. I’ll just say you were too drunk to come back home.”

“That’s not the truth.” He said, booping your nose, but you could barely feel the coldness of his touch. 

“Do I really have to tell her that we were high?” You wondered, booping his nose back. 

Yoongi smiled, knowing you were right. “I guess not.” He admitted. 

“So?” You dared to insist.

“I’ll stay…” He said, putting a finger up. “Under one condition…”

“You want me to tuck you in bed?” You said, laughing at your own joke like it was the funniest thing you had ever said. 

Yoongi snorted, covering your mouth with his hand so you wouldn’t keep making loud noises. “No, not that.” He shook his head. “You have to make me breakfast.”

You bit the palm of his hand, making him pull away with a groan. “Is that what your life is worth?” You teased “Breakfast?”

“I’m not gonna die walking ten blocks.”

“What if you enter a bad trip?” You joked “The streets are scary when it’s dark.”

“C’mon, don’t talk about bad trips.” He closed his eyes shut, like he was trying to picture flowers and kittens so he wouldn’t think of something bad. 

“God, Yoongi. Are you staying or not?” 

He sighed, opening his eyes to display his characteristic gummy smile. “Fine Pinky.” He gave in, “Show me how big your bed is.” 

taglist: @kingofbodyrolls @tea4sykes @overtherainbow35 @namin13 @p34rluv @moonchild1 @oukya @yoongisoftface @namgihours @honsoolgloss @idkjustlovingbts @loviyunki @yoongisducky @bangtansmauyeondan @tarahardcore @wobblewobble822 @secfir @ot72025 @baechugff @hopeefulchick @heroinanne @mortal-body-timelesssoul @lizzm98 @hiii-priestess @wii-wii @jungkookies1002 @busanbby-jjk @acquiescence804

O3 thank you, next — pr team in shambles

SOOBIN’S POV

notes; all of soobin’s accounts are yn and all of yns accounts are soobin until the end of their birthday

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ᝰ✧ — masterlist — prev | next

comment on this post if i can use ur username in future chapters as a fan account!

୨୧✧ — synopsis; in a universe where you and your soulmate swap bodies on your twenty-first birthday and every birthday after that. world renowned soloist soobin is set to have a concert on the day of your guys’ shared birthday, a firm believer he doesn’t have a soulmate and wants nothing to do with them. you, a college student who hasn’t listened to a single one of his songs, swap bodies with him on the day of your final exam and his big concert. you’re now under the public eye for ruining his career and soobin has to deal with your wrath since he failed your exams. he must also process the fact that he does in fact have a soulmate, one he couldn’t care less about.

ᝰ✧ — [1/3] taglist is open! @cartierfiles @lunavixia @jungwonderz @bubblytaetae @goldennika @zzzavid @astrozuya @odisdad @destairea @iwaplant @itssaturdaytoday @hoodiebangtan @sunseeking-cryptid @outerspace02a @buttersmama @luvtyun @vianna99 @matcha-binz @doumachi @pinghyuka @soobsdior @binluvsu @tyussday @xavi-in-kpopland @bervaose @birdie-vhs @hearts4huening @reyarain @gyubatuu @tridentgumfreshy @rjsmochii @ckline35 @mochiixsstuff @bluuswanrina @beomnioa @bluxjun @yelsuki @gugggu6gvai @thesassy-mia @222brainrot @itswinteress @cindywasneverhere @kimgyuuu @fatoompie @haohyo @jongseongslvr @soobinsman @wolfytae-exe @ener-energy @malarign @tocupid @phtogravi