They Call Me Pepto Cuz This Pussy Is A Bismol

they call me pepto cuz this pussy is a bismol

I think the counters at popular chain coffee shops I won't name should be replaced with a fully covered area where customers can't see the employees faces or what they're doing. I'm talking once ler levels of obfuscation. The counter should look like this

secondly, the whole enclosed area should constantly emit various steams and smokes like a horrible machine, and employees should be encouraged to make as much conspicuous noise as possible. I want customers to walk up to what is basically a steel wall on a steel counter, nervously place their order in a microphone, hand over their method of payment through a small door, have it returned, then the cashier slams shut the door, they hear an absolute cacophany for a minute and their drink and receipt are unceremoniously slid out the very same little door in the wall

[video description: a man playing saxophone in front of a large pipe. everything he plays echoes back through the pipe, resulting in a call-and-response type song. the person behind the camera claps along to the beat. end description.]

Attention.

Attention.

Level 3 Woman Moment in progress in your area.

Evacuate immediately.

Repeat: Evacuate immediately.