I Just Re-read The Story With Brahms That I Wrote And No Joke, I Dissociated For A Bit While Reading,

I just re-read the story with Brahms that I wrote and no joke, I dissociated for a bit while reading, my soul was leaving my body like :

It feels like a fever dream tbh but in a good way, I normally am not the kind of person who writes soft and more romantic stuff out of my own free will because my aromantic ass doesn't really have much interest in it. But if anyone liked soft short storys tell me! I have like a small plan for RZ Michael??

Dirty bone stealing bastard saying hello

What do you mean you rather kill me with your bare hands then give me goodnight kissies???

That's illegal >:(((

I don't really believe in that stuff but I have nothing to lose :) I genuinely hope my wish comes true

reblog and make a wish! this was removed from tumbrl due to “violating one or more of Tumblr’s Community Guidelines”, but since my wish came true the first time, I’m putting it back. :)

More Brahms headcanons about : his childhood, some LGBTQ+ stuff and general things

Honestly it's probably more rambling then headcanons?? But I'm just in the mood and write down what i think, i try to keep some kind of order but i can't promise anything.

Trigger warning for: homophobia,sexism, smoking marijuana (as medicine), movie typical violence (nothing in detail it's just mentioned), mention of suicide

🧸Were gonna start juicy with the homophobia his parents curb stomped him with.

🧸His parents were more of an old school couple and with that they pushed their believes into him, mostly it was on accident because that's how they grew up with (small mention just because it was a internalized thing it doesn't excuse their behavior)but a lot of Brahms anger and frustration got built because of it.

🧸From an early age they told him that cleaning and cooking was women's stuff, even if he wanted to help a girl or woman to clean up the smallest of messes his parents stopped him. That combined with him being spoiled rotten didn't really mash well, very fast he thought that everyone is here to serve him especially if they act/look/are female/feminine.

🧸When a same sex couple kissed in front of the family, Brahms parents got really shocked and acted like an animal got shot right in their eyesight. If they were women Ms. and Mrs. heelshire just down played it and told Brahms that they were just really good friends.

🧸The tryd to shield him from any non straight romantic relationships. And told him anything that is not being cis and straight is not normal, it wasn't even like "oh non cishets are weird and bad don't interact with them", they sayd it in a more sly and sneaky way often times not even realizing what's coming out of their mouth.

🧸Of course they couldn't shield him for long, Brahms managed to get his fingers on poems and stories about same sex love (he really liked sapphos works)

🧸After reading a particular gay story and later on meeting a boy he really liked questions quickly came, a lot of those questions couldn't been answered by his family or they just sayd the same things over and over again. The answers fuild his frustration and anger more which later on got mixed with confusion.

🧸One day he told his mother that the boy he met was really cute and he wanted to kiss him. He was kind of disassociating when he sayd that. His mother was really fucking shocked, her sentences scrambling and not making any sense out of panic. While his father just sat there and kinda gave him up.

🧸His mom suppressed any urges that aren't the cishet norm and also started the whole thing how touching himself is a sin and against God, believing that his longing to be hugged and kissed by a boy is because of sexual need and perverse desires

🧸After the fire everything got worse, not only did they suppress and stunted his healthy growth and exploration of his own identity, now they just suppress his whole existence.

🧸His father became more distance and needed to over think it all, while his mom was either non existent or emotionally and mentally abusive stunting him even more.

🧸There was one night were Brahms had a meltdown because he REALLY wanted to be kissed by the same sex, the years before he kinda managed to ignore it but this night was the worst. So his dad went to him and had some chitchat. It basically boils down to him saying he may not approve to his attraction to the same sex he is still his son and he loves and cares for him.

🧸The whole night was spent with talking about the whole thing and also the birds and bees since his mom also didn't teach anything about it. Even if the info was minimal at least Brahms has something to work with.

🧸When Brahms was around 20 Ms. and Mrs. Heelshire started to get nanny's, I will not go into detail of the many nanny's but I can say with each new person he learned something new about himself and his identity.

🧸Also around that age but probably also when he was younger he started to age regress as a coping mechanism, he couldn't really control it and just fell into that mindset for a REALLY long time.

🧸The most important nanny for his development was agender. When Ms. and Mrs. Heelshire hired them they looked more feminine and traditional not knowing about their identity.

🧸To keep it short they were everything Brahms parents told him to stay away. They were headstrong, dressed in gothic and punk clothes, smoked marijuana to deal with their mental health problems, were open about their sexuality ect.

🧸By watching them Brahms learnd a lot, he found out what multi gender attracted sexualitys were and quickly connected with omnisexual

🧸He also learned what age regressing is and was so intrigued with neopronounce finding some kind of comfort in them

🧸He thought a lot about neopronounce and one day dollsef popped out of his mouth when he age regressed. Toyself also came along much later, but since then he secretly spoke in third person and always used neopronounce.

🧸He was still very bitter about it and made him very aggressive in bad days

🧸Brahms develop a crush FAST and since everything came all of a sudden, he had a meltdown about it

🧸After he gathered himself up he decided to show himself and it was chaos

🧸Everything went wrong were it can get wrong. The whole thing ended up with Brahms letting all his frustration,anger and confusion out on the poor nanny

🧸He was a mess afterwards and sobbed for DAYS

🧸After all this Brahms became violent against his parents especially his mom, the nanny's also didn't survive long because no one was like his lovely nanny he had before

🧸When Greta came into his live he was star struck, he finally found someone to love and kinda fell into an unhealthy obsession and went delusional on their relationship

(🧸He also had the hots for malcolm but ssssshhhhh, the internalized homophobia still going strong)

🧸So when Greta left he was at a really bad live point. I heard that in the boy 2 Brahms killed himself after Greta left wich, we ignore that like royalty. But I like to think he tryd it, but ended up surviving the attempt and now has a scar on his body. He is very ashamed of it.

Sksnsoknskzk I NO, listen i- I just really hope Brahms just has a thing for high heels or being stepped on with shoes ,then him wanting a footjob, I just can't handle that thought,, but it fits to him??? I'm freaking out a bit tbh

so is anyone else gonna talk abt the boy (2016 bell) and its obvious foot fetish subtext …?