Pantayam - To The Moon

“Are you looking for advice, comfort or just someone to listen?”

This question has really helped my relationships. A lot of my friends often tell me what they need, but sometimes things are overwhelming and they forget.

Sometimes, offering advice when someone isn’t in the mood to hear it can really make it worse. I’ve found it can be really overwhelming when I want to vent and have someone listen but am met with “this is what you should do”.

Get into the habit of asking your loved ones what they’re looking for if they don’t tell you. It can help a lot.

Love doesn't hurt us. People-pleasing hurts us. Pretending everything is okay hurts us. Silencing ourselves hurts us. Having no boundaries hurts us. Not having our own back hurts us. Self abandonment hurts us. Another person's unhealed shit hurts us. Love liberates — relational challenges shine a light on where we are not yet liberated.

Mark Groves

Don't tell people your boundaries. Show them.

If you tell someone they can't talk to you a certain way or do certain things, those are not boundaries. Boundaries are things we show. If you tell someone "if you do that again I am not going to speak to you" and you stay and continue to speak to them, that's not a boundary. Just words. Words that they now know means absolutely nothing and they can take advantage of.

You show people how to treat you.

You reinforce your boundaries with your actions. Unless you show someone with your actions that what they are doing is not okay, and you do not continue to allow it, they will keep doing it.

The reason the work you’ve done on how you feel doesn’t seem like it’s working is because you need to do it until it works. It’s never been “this strategy will pull you up” it’s always been “here’s something you can do that will END with you getting out of that hole” the climbing still hurts and the being underground still hurts but that doesn’t mean it’s not working

The new patch 6 kisses are so cute. 💜