Y/N: *bleeding Out After Getting Shot* This Is Totally Not Tubular Dude Bro

Y/N: *bleeding out after getting shot* This is totally not tubular dude bro

Ghost: Please for the love of god say something else those cannot be your last words

Simon "Ghost" Riley and Your New Cat 🌷

simon having beef with a stray cat you brought home silly little idea i had no content warnings, just cute fluff, female reader :3 not proofread!

"What the hell is tha’?" he laughed, rubbing the back of his neck as he stared in disbelief at the little black kitten in your lap.

"I found him. He’s called Lettuce," you grin, cuddling the cat to your chest. You’re well aware that lettuce is a stupid name for a cat, but it just seemed right at the time. The kitten was tiny, and had seemed very weak when you’d discovered him shivering in a box outside your apartment block. Now, he seemed a lot more comfortable, making a little home for himself on your sweater. He was so small - he literally fit in the palm of your hand - but his frizzy black hair stuck out at every angle so that he looked less like a kitten and more like a wiry pompom.

"Love," Simon laughed, rubbing his face with a sigh, "Lettuce looks like a flea. Where the hell di’you find ‘im?"

"Oi, he does not! Well, maybe a bit. I found him in a box. He was meowing at me, he looked so cold…" you stroke the kitten’s cheek with your thumb as you he meows up at you.

"You can’t keep him, he might have diseases. You should give him to a pet shelter." Your boyfriend wasn’t being harsh, he was just worried about you - he didn’t want your little heart breaking because you’d got all attached to a poorly little kitten who might not last the week. But it didn’t come off like that.

"Wh… what..?" you frown, cupping the kitty in your hands to protect it.

"I’ll drive you to the shelter tomorrow, okay?"

"What? Si, no!"

"Baby…" he sighs, trying not to upset you "you can’t just find a scruffy animal on the street and take it home."

"S’what I did with you ," you pout, pulling the same face at him as Vegetable pulls at your sweater sleeve as he paws at it.

"Look," he crosses his arms, about to explain to you the reasons why you two don’t have the space for a cat, nor the prior knowledge. What if the cat walks in on the two of you in bed? What if it bites you and his pretty girl gets hurt? What if you end up loving the cat more than Simon and it steals you away? But your pleading eyes and the tiny, stupid looking kitten chirping in your laps convinces him. If you really wanted anything, you know he’d get it for you, so he’ll let you have your silly kitten.

"Alright, fine. For now." He laughs, ruffling his hair.

"I love you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! I love you!" you squeal, gently placing the cat down before jumping up with and wrapping your arms around your boyfriend. He rubs your back softly, watching the stupid fluffy ball on the sofa chirp for your attention. Just because he’s letting you have the cat doesn’t mean he won’t see it as his mortal enemy.

The next morning, after having gone out to buy cat food for you, Simon is sitting on the sofa, softly kissing your neck from behind. You’re sitting in his lap… completely ignoring his affection in favour of the kitty.

"Si, look! He can walk!" you grin, holding the kitten up so it looks like it’s standing on two feet.

"Mhm… cute…" Simon mumbles into the nape of your next, a strong hand wrapping around your waist to pull you into his chest. He is not watching the cat, he’s busy with you.

"I know right!" you ignore his advances still, gazing at your new pet with adoration, "I should make him a little hat, he’d look so sweet."

"Yeah, fuck, you’re so sweet…" Si keeps kissing you, moving between your neck and your shoulders, which are hidden inside his old tshirt.

"He’s so cute," you grin, stroking the back of the kitten’s head until it purrs, "I love him so much… he’s my baby."

That catches Simon off guard. He would never admit it to anyone, but he loves it when you call him your baby. He’s the only one you should be calling baby. This cat is stealing his girl. [gasp]

Si shoots the kitten a death stare.

"Oh yeah, he’s your baby?"

"Yeah, he’s the cutest…"

"Mhm. I’m sure," he pouts. When you’re not looking, he glares at the cat and points from his grey eyes to its little beady ones, like he’s trying to intimidate it.

A few days later, the two of you fall asleep together, with Simon spooning you and holding you close. But you forgot to shut the door. So your boyfriend is rudely awakened by a very small, scruffy kitten stomping on his chest.

"No, oi, get off of me," you can hear him grumbling sleepily as you start to stir, alongside the cute chirping of your kitty.

"Listen, Vegeta- cat. Stupid name anyways. We can’t have you disturbing the Mrs, alright?"

You can hear him pause until he hears the kitten meow softly in response.

"Tha’s right, soldier. She’s my Mrs, not yours, and if you so much as try to change that, I will never let you see her again. My girl. Mine," he pouts.

The kitten meows again, as if he’s responding to Simon’s orders. You have to try your hardest not to giggle, biting your lip in the dark as you listen to your big, tough boyfriend have an argument with a little kitten.

"Alright, now leave the lady alone." You almost think you can hear him plant a kiss on the cat’s head before he sets it down at the side of the bed.

You’re away for the weekend, visiting family, without your boys (Simon and the kitten). :(

Simon’s fine, he’s a tough guy, he has no issue being alone - that is, until he’s poorly and he needs you to cuddle him and make him tea. But you’re not there, and talking to you over the phone only makes him feel worse.

So he resorts to laying in bed, in the shade, trying to nap. Poor boy feels too ill to do anything else (he has the man flu).

With the back of his hand over his forehead, one leg over the covers and one leg under, not quite sure whether he’s awake or asleep, he closes his eyes and frowns. A little black ball hops up onto his bed, waking him up a little.

It plods around in a little circle, looking around and exploring its new environment. When Veggie spots Simon, he waddles over curiously, his little feet sinking into the soft duvet cover.

"Hey, cat," Simon smiles softly, watching the fluffy baby wander and get closer to his face. It looks up into his eyes, chirping, and brushes its fur against his cheek before settling into the crook of his neck.

He chuckles, closing his eyes as the tiny guy curls into a ball against him. The rivalry isn’t quite over for Simon, but that funny looking kitty is a little piece of you, and he’s happy to have its affection.

When you come home, it’s to the two of them, cuddled up on your bed. Silently, you change into a t-shirt and slip into bed behind Simon, planting a little kiss on his cheek.

"Told you he was cute."

how i imagine your kitten 💗

i spent way longer on this than i thought i would but it’s so cute and i loved writing it! hope you enjoy lovieeees

Task force 141 walking into the crematorium to check the body one last time.

Ghost: so no other infos?

Y/N talking to one of the employees: you guys take walk-ins?

Price: VISIBLY WORRIED, Y/N?!

(Y/N): *Points at Price* Mum

Price: Wh-

(Y/N): *Points at Ghost* Dad

Ghost: …

(Y/N): *Points at Gaz* Favourite cousin

Gaz: :)

(Y/N): *Points at Soap* the sibling that’s only there because your parents threatened to ground you if you didn’t take them with you

Soap: WHAT?!

(Y/N): *Points at Alejandro* the cool uncle

Alejandro: *shrugs with a smile*

(Y/N): *Points at Rudy* the sweetheart cousin that you can never really be mad at no matter what

Rude: :D

(Y/N): *Points at Valeria* That one aunt who doesn’t work but has a suspicious amount of money

Valeria: true…

Soap: *huffs* And what does that make you?

(Y/N): The one who knows all the tea and uses it to create drama

Soap: WHY IS MINE THE WORST?!

(Y/N): *shrugs*

Soap: *starts arguing*

(Y/N): *Watches the chaos unfold with a grin*

Ghost: *groans* fuckin’ hell…

Ghost: Aw, you still listen to boy bands? Cute.

Y/N: Shut up, boy. You look like you listen to Boulevard of Broken Dreams just so you can imagine angsty scenarios.

Soap: *Snort*

Y/N: You shut up too. You look like your favorite song is Stacy’s Mom because it makes you think of when you shagged your teacher at the end of your sixth year and then bragged about it.

Gaz: *Trying not to laugh*

Y/N: I better not hear you either. I know for a fact you’re in the 1% of listeners of Weird Al on Spotify.

Price: *Tired old man sigh*

Y/N: Don’t even. Your favorite songs are The Wreck of The Edmund Fitzgerald and Sink the Bismarck and all that tells me is that your hyper-fixation is shipwrecks.

Thank God Simon rarely gets sick because he gets so annoyed with everything when he is. Hates how his illness gets in the way of his daily routine and tasks. Like, he‘ll still try to go on his morning run but stops himself when he gets dizzy. Goes back to bed cursing the world under his breath.

Until you came along, whenever Simon would get sick, he'd get pissy, crank the heat up in his place, and bury himself under every blanket and comforter he owned to sweat it out.

With you, he... still gets pissy and buries himself under all the covers like some blanket gremlin. You refuse to crank the heat up, though. You also probably won't see Simon a lot unless you catch him going to the bathroom or... that's about it lmao. You'll come in, leave food and something to drink on the nightstand, and come back to empty dishes.

You go in to give him some medicine and, blanket gremlin that he is, you'll only see Simon's arm come out. Put the medicine in his hand and he'll hold on to your hand for a bit before his arm retreats and you hear a muffled and raspy, "Thanks, luv."

You're welcome, little blanket gremlin.