Masterlist!

masterlist!

COD What Normal People Do: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6 MARVEL 15 DC Mistletoe and Mayhem

my general writing tag

Y'all I cannot stress this enough but it's real important to share stuff that you like if you want to see more of the stuff you like. And that means reblogging stuff.

I'm referencing Simblr specifically here, and fuck knows there's a 1001 reasons someone might want to leave this community, but that CC creator who just quietly stopped posting? That Sims story that never got finished and never will? That person with really neat Sims who said goodbye? All of these can be casualties of feeling like no one gives a shit.

"But SadRaccoon! People should do things because they want to! Notes don't mater!"

In an ideal world, yes. And you should do things because you want to, and not out of a sense of obligation for notes or whatever else. But I think we all know that's not how it works. Plus, I normally see this POV spouted from accounts that already have a big following so it comes off as a tad disingenuous. A little love goes a long way.

TL;DR - If you want to see more of the stuff you love, share the shit out of it.

YES batman being a bat dad (literally) is so perfect!!!!!!!

based on the tags i left on this post but ok. bruce befriending the bats in the batcave

I imagine after spending so much time there, they're used to his presence. they see and hear everything he does at all (ungodly) hours of the night. they don't much like his music taste, but they do like the food alfred leaves behind

now, alfred is leaving bowls of fruit behind for bruce because he forgets to eat more often than he'd like to think about (and everybody knows if you want someone with a laser-focused attention span to eat, you've got to put food in their general vicinity and let them graze on their own). but bruce rarely remembers to finish them off and so sometimes they just lie around for hours, untouched until one day bruce is working on his car, turns to grab something he left on his desk, and sees a bat perched on the side of the silver bowl munching away at his grapes

and bruce wayne has worked on this fear of his. he's treated the bats on the ceiling like decoration, and at times distant roommates. he leaves them alone, they leave him alone. this is the first time in a long time where they've felt comfortable enough to get close. he kind of just stands there and watches until the bat notices him and flies away with another grape in its mouth

the next time it happens, bruce is standing at the desk and notices some of the bats flying lower than usual overhead. there's this cheese and fruit plate that alfred left and he's been picking away at it, but bruce wants to test a theory and so he does. he grabs a grape and throws it on the floor several feet away. nothing happens. the bats keep circling and he thinks that maybe they're fighting or something, tries to leave it alone. the grape is gone an hour later, but he doesn't recall seeing any of them steal it

it takes a couple times before one gets close enough to touch, and he stares at it like he stared at the first one. it's on the other side of his desk and sure enough, he's got food nearby. he doesn't wanna make any sudden movements and scare it away, so he doesn't do anything. he thinks it might fly away if it gets bored, or it might come closer if it's really brave

it comes closer, and bruce watches as it steals his fruit and flies away again

at this point, alfred's collecting empty bowls. he thinks, "wow. good job, me. I knew it would start working eventually." and then a few weeks later, he comes down to leave another bowl and there's bruce sitting, legs propped up on a car engine he's working on, files in one hand and a grape in between his fingers and- oh. there's something perched on his shoulder. alfred startles because of course he does, it's moving and eating out of bruce's hand, and it can only be one thing. "is that a... bat?"

bruce glances up, sees alfred holding another bowl (strawberries this time), and then looks at his work, "uh-huh."

"is it yours?"

"it lives here."

"you mean," alfred points at the ceiling, bewildered, as hundreds of the winged things flutter around the endless dark, "one of those bats? and you're just feeding it on your shoulder? like a pet? what if it has rabies?"

"this one doesn't. she's got her shots."

even better if the bats come and go from the cave often. just imagine bruce out on patrol and the bats recognize him. he's staking out an alley, waiting for a target to show his face, and one of the bats flies up to him and almost scares him off his perch, but he recognizes it. it flies over to him and he holds his arm out, watching it grasp at the bits that poke out from his arm gauntlet and hang upside down off him

criminals start seeing him hanging out with these bats (which bruce has begun to tentatively train, because of course that's the first thing he looked up how to do when he realized the bats liked him), even whispering things to them and watching them fly off into the night. there's a rumor going around that batman can control all the bats in the city. bruce doesn't see any point in denying it

What Normal People Do - 2

Simon and Johnny have a new neighbour. cw for implied sexual content/aftercare. skip to 'The next morning' <3 ao3! ghost/soap/gn!reader (established ghoap)

Show Me Yours, I'll Show You Mine

The guilt isn’t all-consuming, he finds.

He and Johnny had explored having more partners together more than once- but usually, the third was only interested in a fling, nothing serious.

Simon obviously had no reason to think that you would be different. Obviously. But that night when Johnny presents to him a strawberry-printed jockstrap with a sly smile,- “Strawberry sex stall, remember?-“ Simon just can’t help but imagine if you were there.

It’s wrong of him, he knows. The only time he had seen you, you had been distressed. Enough so that Riley, a trained service dog, had noticed a way away and practically sprinted to you.

…But something about your demeanour had lured him in. So after he gets a cool rag and cleans Johnny and himself off, curling around Johnny’s back like he's a planet finding its orbit, he murmurs what he was thinking about. He knows Johnny won’t shame him- they’ve done much worse than absently think about someone else watching in during their intimate time.

Johnny looks over his shoulder at Simon with a crooked grin.

“Me tae.” He says. Somehow, Simon is not surprised. “Wish ae’d gotten bon’s number.” He grumbles.

Simon shakes his head.

“It probably wasn’t meant to be,” Simon says. “So distressed. Hard to imagine they’d’ve taken kindly to it.”

Johnny groans.

“Tae reasonable. ‘D’ve fallen for mae charm!” He protests.

“Unlikely.”

“Ae don’t like ye.”

Simon grunts.

“Sleep, Johnny.”

——————

The next morning, Price and his wife are supposed to be coming over to the flat and so Johnny is tasked with taking the dog out to a local coffee shop while Simon cleans the flat.

Riley is quiet on her leash while Johnny mills about, waiting for the overworked barista to shake together the coffees.

He doesn’t realise until he’s halfway through the counter that he’s been casing it.

Bad dog, he chastises himself, slumping against the wooden panel of the wall.

He manages to rein himself in for maybe five minutes before he inevitably looks around again- but this time he is rewarded.

Standing a little to his right is you, smiling down to your phone. Like a sane person, he slides right next to you.

“Seems like ye’ve got a love-hate relationship wif’ that thing,” Johnny says, nodding to your phone.

You look startled and confused as you look at Johnny and then recognize him.

“Oh! No, um. I got broken up with yesterday.” You say, bashfully. “Had to move out and find a new place on short notice.”

“And ye got the place?”

“Yes. It’s very lovely. Rent’s maybe a bit much but I’m sure I can budget it… It’s such a great stroke of luck that I’ve found it under 24 hours.”

Johnny nods.

“O’ course. ‘M glad fer ye.”

“Thank you.” You say with a shy smile. Johnny grins at you.

“Och, no need tae thank me.”

Johnny watches your pretty mouth open to refute him when the barista calls out your name. He rolls your name around in his head for a while before the barista’s tired voice calls for a ‘Tommy’.

He takes the coffees, grumbling under his breath about how Johnny wasn’t a hard name, actually, and rather easy to hear, thanks, Riley loyally at his side.

It’s only halfway through brunch and Simon’s scones that he realises he hadn’t even gotten your number.

He glumly retells the events of the morning once the Prices have left to Simon, who ruffles his hair a small bit.

“Not meant to be, Johnny,” Simon echoes.

A new tenant is moving in, Simon offhandedly tells him shortly after. Johnny only thinks about you and your ex a little.

——————

Johnny nearly wants to call Simon to laugh in his face. Oh-ho, ‘not meant to be’ his arse. Bonnie is right there, in the produce section, frowning down at a list. For the second time, he slides up next to you.

“Well, lookit tha’!” Johnny exclaims. You look up from your intense staring and blessedly at him; earning a grin from him and a friendly clap on the shoulder.

“How’s the new flat?” He asks.

“Oh, it’s better than the photos,” you say, pleased.

“‘M glad, bonnie.” He says.

“Bonnie?” You ask.

“Don’t worry about it! How about this weather?” Johnny all but yells.

You spend perhaps more time than you should with Johnny; chatting about absolutely nothing and everything at all. At some point, grocery shopping leaves your mind and Johnny ushers you to a nearby café so you can converse in peace.

——————

The next day, as Simon leaves the flat with Riley in tow, he sees you pulling a few boxes into the flat next to them.

Oh, Johnny’s going to love this.

He leaves you alone because he is not Johnny and his unlimited confidence, opting to take Riley out on her walk the long way around the building. 

By the time he's back, you are outside, fiddling with the locks on your front door.

He decides to talk to you; it'd be the neighbourly thing to do, right? Surely he can spare a little time to get to know Johnny's self-proclaimed bonnie.

"Need help?" He asks, materialising behind you and making you jump out of your skin. You whip around and then Simon understands the appeal you have to Johnny.

You're golden hours outside and fresh fruit in dinky plastic cups; you're like summer before it's too miserable and when spring is still lingering by. You're domestic and perfectly so- not heavy-handed, no, done with a perfect sort of delicacy that he can still imagine you hard-faced at a PTA or an HOA meeting or whatever it is normal people do in their free time.

The time it takes for him to decipher what it is in you that Johnny adores is the same amount of time it takes for you to recognise him.

"No, I'm okay. Um, thank you, though." You say, almost shyly. Simon thinks he likes you, too.

"Did you just move in?" He asks. By then, Riley has recognised your scent, making her tail wag rather aggressively.

“Yes.” He sees you hesitate for a moment, and then: “Do you… live here?” You ask.

Simon grunts. “We’re the flat over.”

“Oh!” Your face brightens. “Well. Thank you for offering to help, neighbour.” You say with a beaming smile which is so bright he can’t help but let the corners of his lips quirk up into a little smile, too.

He says goodbye and you do too, and Riley gets one more head butt before he leads Riley over to their flat.

Johnny is already there, sprawled out on the couch while watching some cooking show on the TV. He gets up when he hears the door open, though, to give Riley some pets. She borfs and Johnny borfs back.

“Dogs, the both of you,” Simon grumbles as he takes off Riley’s harness and throws his keys onto a little table by the front door Johnny had bought aeons ago.

He slides all three deadbolts into place while Johnny leads Riley to the kitchen for her dinner.

“Oh, Johnny,” Simon says as he hooks up his coat. “Your bonnie moved into the flat next to us.”

Johnny stops pouring kibble into Riley’s bowl.

“Yer kidding?!”

“No.”

Johnny honest to God shrieks and forgets all about Riley’s dinner, racing to the door like a cartoon character. Simon stops him with a firm hand on the shoulder.

“No. They just moved in. They’re probably tired. Let’s be considerate and wait till tomorrow, yeah?” He says, and Johnny visibly droops. His expression softens and he presses a kiss to Johnny’s temple.

“We can bring them food tomorrow. How about you make your muffins for them?” He suggests. That, at least, makes Johnny settle.

——

The next morning, Johnny and Simon are at your door at an acceptable time. Simon forced Johnny into waiting a full two hours after they woke up before they went to your door.

It was a little like a child on Christmas morning; so excited that they can’t think of anything but that one thing.

Johnny practically sprints out of their flat when Simon just sighs after he asks if they can *go see the wee bonnie, please, Si?* for the umpteenth time in an hour.

He’s standing outside your front door now, muffins in tow and a still-tired Simon hovering behind him. He knocks for the second time and then lo and behold is his bonnie. Maybe a little ruffled from sleep but just as bonnie as the last time he saw you.

“Hello, you two.” You say, smiling.

“Hi! Ae made ye muffins. Tae help settle ‘ta the new flat.”

“Wow, thank you. You didn’t have to. Here, come inside- I’m sorry, it’s a mess,” you apologize. There are boxes strewn about, dragged around, things overflowing from inside.

“You got here last night?” Simon asks as Johnny sets his muffins down on your kitchen counter. You nod.

“Can I make you some tea?” You ask, already rummaging in a box labelled ‘kitchen’ for your kettle.

You chat idly while the water boils and you look for tea bags and mugs.

“Sorry, no sugar. Or creamer.” You say as you pour them two generous mugs.

Then you talk about leasing dates, the landlord, the best parking areas, the cheapest takeouts, and things to do around.

At some point, their mugs run dry and you go to their flat over for lunch and even more conversations.

By the time you leave, it’s half past five and you have a full feeling from companionship.

What Normal People Do - 6

Art... and more! gird your loins, people! hold onto thy merkins! if i can pull it off, this should hopefully be the last fluff chapter before shit gets kicked to high gear. ao3! ghost/soap/gn!reader (established ghoap)

My Head Is An Animal

Johnny’s career is rapidly expanding.

The art fair had helped make Johnny excited about making art again. That, combined with the compliments you had so freely given to him yesterday and a new round of about twenty orders has him ecstatic about maintaining his storefront.

Enough time has elapsed that the first person who made the first order Johnny ever shipped had written a review- perhaps making it fancier than it needed to be when they saw how barren Johnny’s Etsy page was, but that didn’t exactly matter. Not when they had raved about how you could feel emotions behind every pen stroke! Or how they went and bought a frame for the small piece of paper! Or how it was probably hung in the reviewer’s art gallery!

It was nearly enough to make Johnny print the review out and paste it on a wall somewhere if he was being honest.

The Etsy soon turns into a TikTok page he pesters Simon into helping him set up once the storefront has gained enough traction to warrant it.

Things happen, and somehow the TikTok account gains half a million followers. Somehow, someway, Johnny finds himself in a community within Tiktok. It happens suddenly with duets and slideshows(Simon thinks, at least). Still, Johnny is soon reporting back about online friends, art trades, and after a while, being invited to local art fairs after being sniffed out by organizers, even.

Johnny is very much excited. He’s getting busier and busier, and though Simon doesn’t enjoy his time away from home, it is good for both of them, he thinks. Something to focus on. And brings back a decent amount of money, too.

You’re obviously invited to the art fairs Johnny gets stalls at. Johnny’s always over the moon to see you and sneaks free trinkets- like a bookmark or postcard- into your bag when he’s sure you’re not looking. Of course, this earns him a stern talking to when you notice, but your worries are easily quarried by puppy eyes and matching pout; “but Ae wanted to give you sa’thing, bon?”, he’s said before, and it doesn’t take very long for your resolve to crumble again. Sure, you could have argued that you could have bought it yourself, but you know that would only be matched with an offended glare from Johnny.

Truth be told, Johnny’s becoming really rather fond of you. Simon as well- such as when you had come to the third art fair Johnny showed at and had gotten lost after leaving Johnny’s booth. You’d gotten turned around a lot and were just about to ask someone when Simon caught your shoulder. He had called you a few times and when you didn’t answer, he went to find you. He corrals you back with the gentleness a shepherd must have with a lamb.

You’re starting to notice that Johnny has really started to take off. He’s gone to café’s and art podcasts and presentations at colleges and now cons and he has even been invited onto live stream with other art content creators on TikTok that he can now solidly call his friends. He gets along with them well and is even able to make meaningful friendships. For example, he meets a man who makes beautiful knitted mixed media work named Sammy who’s nothing short of a sweetheart to Johnny, talking to him via DMS and supplying him with inspiration when he gets stuck in a mood. Sammy is there, talking to him in his silly American accent and showing him the new knitted beanie he made out of recycled plastic bags for his 60-pound Maine Coon cat.

Then there’s Gloria, a cross stitcher. She’s well into her years, with her TikTok account being run by her great-grandson who kept her young with his quips and jokes. She quickly establishes herself by cursing like a sailor when her grandson jokingly insults her works from over the years. She also makes quite a few phallic pieces which, to no one’s surprise, the grandson rather likes. She’s so charming to Johnny because she sort of feels like his grandmammy.

Gloria reassures and encourages Johnny about his artwork over calls, which her great-grandson sets up and orchestrates because there's no way Gloria’s little arthritis-stricken claws would be able to navigate modern technology.

Simon likes his new online friends, too. Simon has become a staple in Johnny’s fanbase’s culture and his livestreams, oftentimes poking in to say hi or leave a coffee while Johnny draws on stream. He becomes prominent; it's easy to say that his fanbase adores the two of them especially when they get to hear their backstory, learning about how they met. It's enough to make him even more endearing to the public eye.

Life’s going awesome for him. He’s been going to art fairs in the area every other week, and even though fall is rapidly approaching, he's never been in better spirits. The cool weather usually means Johnny stops making art for a while because the warm weather helps keep him springy and stops his bad elbow joints from aching terribly. Now, he feels more than willing to tough it out.

Life just gets better when a rather large creator on the platform, someone named Jessica Johnson, invites him to an ‘ArtTok Conference’ about 50 miles away from Johnny and Simon’s flat in Manchester, so they plan to pack themselves up for the week with the dog. The venue itself is beautiful, all natural light, sleek marble and wood, and Johnny’s there to talk on a few panels to fans and do some live art as an installation; he’s going to be paid for his work, to just sit down in the gardens of the venue with Riley and do his art stuff while people walk around and observe and enjoy his art. He’d do it for free, honestly.

After he accepts the offer, he starts packing after he tells you, and it’s the happiest you’ve ever seen him. His cheeks are glowing and his smile lines have just become more defined as he's grown with his online career. When he announces that he’ll be at the con later that month, his Etsy shop completely sells out.

When the conference starts, Simon is attentive, caring and comforting. When Johnny gets ready for the first panel, Simon helps him steam the shirt he's gonna wear on the panel. When Johnny is signing prints at an M&G and his pen suddenly craps out, Simon’s there with an extra. When Johnny does his first day of sitting in the gardens and drawing, Simon stays with him, just standing there until one of the staff members brings him a chair. At the end of the first day, when Johnny face plants into the hotel room’s bed, Simon is quick to work out the knots from Johnny’s back. 

Johnny, if he’s being honest, is still a little sad that you weren’t able to make it, what with it being held in the middle of the work week and being an hour’s drive. You’re apologetic, of course, but he knows better than to be hurt terribly.  He feels better when you leave comments on all of the clips that he posts on his TikTok, and you still text whenever you can. He’s happy to be at the con and he’s thoroughly enjoying it, too. Simon’s like his own support system, leaving the conference building for coffee and bagels, and during the con, he’s like his own attraction at Johnny’s stall. People who don’t know Johnny are allured over by the six-foot-something man with the happiest-looking service dog ever and usually end up buying one of the many prints of Riley Johnny has done before.

Later in the week, he gets a panel all to himself where he talks about his charcoal art and how he made his style. Surprisingly, there’s a large turnout. He thought that nobody would want to listen to him ramble about the art he’s been making since high school or, even less, talk to him about his art. After the panel and a lengthy M&G, he starts planning when he’s going to release more things on his Etsy shop, just from how many of his prints he signed in less than three hours. In the time he has between panels and his live art installation, he finds himself doing thumbnails, just as an outlet for all the excess creative energy he has. It’s so fulfilling to see something he’s only ever seen something as a hobby grow into a whole community of his own, grow into a career and a plausible one at that.

Still, like all good things, the con comes to an end. He finishes the live art installation and then he and Simon say their goodbyes before making their way back home. Back to you.

In the space between, everything moves on in a peaceful sort of bliss. He’s restocking the Etsy regularly now, because of how much demand has ramped up. The art fairs are slowing as the cool weather sets in and he goes to his last one right as you get some free time, so it’s perfect timing for a little catch-up outing.

You get dinner at the art fair together, eating traditionally made pasta dyed colourful colours by plants while Johnny tells you everything about his time at the con. It just makes you sad that you missed it, just from how *happy* he sounds from the… Well, everything. He shows you pictures with fans and the highlight reels said fans made of his panels and endearing videos littered over his TikTok feed. You’re fully caught up in no time.

You’ve just finished dinner when Johnny gets the invitation. Johnny looks down at his phone while both you and Simon are engaged in conversation while he stares down at his screen. Then he gasps; loud and cartoonish.

“Ae- Ae go’ invited to a residency! In a gallery! Holy *hells*-“ he says, before a long and very animated string of curses as he finishes the email.

“Residency?” Simon asks.

“Gallery?” You ask.

“Yes!” Johnny says. “Oh, bleedin’ Mary. Look!” He says before he shoves his phone screen in your face, before passing it to Simon.

And, for the first time ever, you hear Simon laugh. It’s husky, like a smoker’s, but it’s endearing in a way. He wraps his arms around Johnny’s shoulders and kisses his temples.

“Yeah, I think this counts for another.” He says, flagging down the waiters for another round of drinks.

What Normal People Do - 3

You've been, frankly, having a shit day. Your boyfriend (whom you don't even like that much) breaking up with you was your final straw. Then two very attractive young men and their service dog walk into your life and can't seem to leave. bit of a rushed chapter- not as finely tuned as i would like it to be. the reader kinda took me by the ear and wrote this chapter themselves, lol ao3! ghost/soap/gn!reader (established ghoap)

Lately, I've Been Crying Like A Tall Child

You have, frankly, been having a pretty shit day. Firstly you had three difficult patients back to back with varying degrees of Bitching Mothers™️ that insisted on you throwing safety to the wind for a small payout. You heard a lot of:

“No, can we skip that vaccine? I heard from my nail girl that they have red dye 40 in them,” one had said, her springy six-year-old doodling with the crayons and colouring books provided. You feel your jaw tick as you put on your best customer service smile.

“No ma’am, we can’t because the diphtheria vaccine is meant to help her. She’s at risk right now of getting it. She could die, ma'am.” You say. She frowned, a little convinced, but still stubborn.

“I don’t know if I want red dye in her bloodstream-“

“There’s no red dye 40 in any vaccine she'll ever get.” You grit out. “Ma’am.” She sighed as if she was being forced, but she nodded her head anyway.

“Well, I’m trusting you here.” She said, dramatically sighing.

Another was upset you had given her son a purple band-aid after his vaccine. The last openly talked about her tween daughter’s problems- ‘blightin’ useless, she is, scored dead last in her class- surely there’s something you can do to her, lovie?’- she had said while the said tween sat, mortified, on the table after you had told her through gritted teeth that that wasn’t related at all to your job.

After all of that, you were done with your job. Like, ‘I’m going to punch my next patient kind of done’.

You make it through the last bits of your shift with no more rude and/or stupid patients and without assaulting anyone. You make it to your car before texting the one person you trusted to not overwhelm you in your fragile state ; your friend from uni, Emma.

                                                                                                                        Today 2:28 PM

                                                                                                                   - can we hang? please? abt to commit second degree murder

     - always, babes 😘

     - St. James’ Park

                                                                                                                                                       -   give me an hour

And that’s how you found yourself in a strawberry festival with Em, laughing at her as she tried to throw strawberry-shaped bean bags into strawberry-shaped corn holes while wearing a strawberry-shaped hat that was frankly ridiculous. Actually, this entire thing was ridiculous . Perfectly so because you could barely remember why you had been murderous earlier.

When you’ve both got strawberry scones and are walking to your next destination- a strawberry jewellery stall, at her insistence- two very hot, very large men with a dog pass by you. One of them is wearing a black surgical mask that does nothing to hide how pretty his deep brown eyes are, framed with pale blond eyelashes that almost blend into his porcelain-pale skin that’s marred by multiple scars. The other one, who was shorter than the blond but still tall in his own right, had bright blue eyes, a friendly smile and short, spiky brown hair cut in a mohawk. The German shepherd trotting along with them has a harness that reads ‘SERVICE DOG - DO NOT DISTURB’. You’re snapped out of your thoughts by Em whispering in your ear:

“Hunks galore.”

“More like a one-way ticket to pound town.” You whisper back. Em smacks your arm and then you cackle together because the two hunks are surprisingly very fast walkers and have already left you in the dust.

Maybe an hour later, Em gets a text from her girlfriend.

“My maiden!” Em exclaims as she looks down at her phone while chatting with you about nothing over strawberry tea cakes.  “Her car broke down!” Em says. “Oh, I’m sorry babe, I’ve gotta dash. I’ll see you later, mmkay?” She kisses your cheek and then she’s off.

Thinking of Em’s girlfriend reminds you of your significantly worse love life. You have a boyfriend right now, but it isn’t like you’re head over heels or anything. He’s nice but a little boring- admittedly, you’ve dated worse. Maybe that’s why you’ve stayed for half a year.

You decide to wander around the fair for a little longer, needing some extra cheer to make it through the work week and you more or less get pulled into getting your hand read by an elderly woman in a strawberry dress unwittingly. She’s small, definitely shorter than you, but her eyes are wise and her smile is knowing.

“Come, sit,” she frets, pulling out a wooden chair for you. So you do. Then she demands you give her your hands. So you do. She puts on reading glasses while she hunches over your outstretched palm, peering down at the fine lines. She makes a contemplative noise before tracing a wrinkle. “Misery soon,” she observes. “Oh, dear, within the hour.” She stares down some more. “It’ll be repaid tenfold with good karma, don’t worry your pretty heart.” Her face brightens. “Oh-ho, companionship! Soon! Oh- my, very good friends.” She says, gaping for a moment at your hand. “Hmm. Maybe some bumps on the road but that’s to be expected. It’ll be worth it, dear.” She pats your hand with one of her old, withered ones, slipping a strawberry bonbon into your hold with a wink. “Now shoo!” 

You leave feeling a little confused. Just an old lady with a complex, you rationalise. And just as you’re finishing up making your last rounds, passing by stalls, your phone rings with a text. So you pull over and read the text from your boyfriend.

                                                                                                                             Today 6:52 PM

     -  hey

                                                                                                                                                                                                        - hi babe

     - i need 2 tell u smth

                                                                                                                                                                                                        - okay?

     - i wanna break up

     - idk i feel like things hv gotten stale

     - u dont mind right

     -u can come get ur stuff 

So surely it’s no surprise to anyone when you turn into an alleyway, slump against a concrete wall and start ugly crying while staring down at your phone. While admittedly you weren’t that upset about being broken up with, you were upset about so suddenly moving out. Going out onto the housing market, so soon and so late in the day, no less, was sending you down a panic-induced spiral.

Then there is a large, comforting weight on your lap, like someone had covered you with a weighted blanket. You open your eyes a little, tears still falling, and you see a German shepherd on your lap, nudging your elbow with its muzzle. Then you see the service dog harness and remember the dog as the one that had been side by side with the hunks that passed you and Em. You gawk for a moment before determinedly trying to stop your tears; if the dog is here, surely the very hot, otherworldly hot owners are nearby. You’d hate for them to see you snivelling.

You focus on the big, fluffy body on you and, damn, whatever the hell the dog’s doing is working because you no longer feel like the world is ending. You just need a new apartment. Worse has happened.

Once you take some deep breaths, you immediately see one of the hunks standing there. Just… watching. You panic, because you can’t fully read his expression from under his mask, and surely he must be mad that his service dog had pounced on you. You try to convince the dog to move but it’s having none of it.

“Oh, no, I’m sorry, your dog sort of- um, trapped me here, I didn’t mean to-“

“No.” The hunk says (he’s hotter up close). He’s gruff and big and truth be told he does not seem like the kind of person you wouldn't want to argue with, so you stay quiet. “She wanted to help you. ‘S fine.” He says.

“Um,” you say. “Okay. Are you sure?”

The hunk merely grunts. “Are you okay?” He asks, and perhaps you’re being persuaded by his sheer mass and your new-found single status, but you swear his voice has softened a little, to not spook you more.

“Oh, um. Yeah.” You say, internally wincing at your overuse of ‘oh’.

The hunk stares down at you for a long while. Did you do something wrong? Shit. Maybe he does really mind. You shift underneath his dog awkwardly and feel the urge to explain yourself.

“I just, um- I have an, um. A thing.” You say quietly. It’s not an entire lie- yeah, you were half-convinced you had a ‘thing’ from Em’s insistence that ‘you’re not okay, babe!’ multiple times over. You can’t help the guilt of telling a lie when you weren’t diagnosed with anything, however.

“Are you okay?” He asks. Again. “Riley doesn’t start DPT on total strangers for no reason.” He sounds dry, but… insistent. Somehow. It leaves you with no way to squeeze out a lie. His pretty eyes stare two dead holes into yours, and you’re sure you’re gonna get vaporized, Terminator style. Unease creeps into your gut.

“No, I’m OK. Just… got a little upset.” You say weakly, forcing out your best smile. You’re proud that you don’t grimace instead. He just keeps on staring at you, showing no inclination of answering. Then, just as you’re about to force the dog off, the other hunk- an Amazon gladiator, holy hells- walks in, excitement in his eyes.

“Si, ‘ave found a strawberry sex stall-!“ He says, but then he notices you and his expression goes into something you can’t read.

“Well, hello, there.” He says. You surely must look like a deer caught in headlights.

“Hello,” you squeak out, because not one but two superhumanly hot men are paying you attention. You gently push the dog off of you, mumbling a ‘bye’ before you scurry away and straight to your car. You don’t look back.

——

The next morning, you’ve just packed up your every belonging from your ex-boyfriend’s flat- he didn’t even bother to help- and rented out a storage cube, packed in everything single-handedly, and then got the best sleep of your life in a hotel. You had woken up and then gone to a coffee shop because your entire day would be filled with hunting down an affordable place to rent. You had Em help you fill out a few applications while you were driving from the ex’s flat to the storage cube to the flat and then storage again .

You’re reading through an email one of the landlords of one of the nicer apartments sent you this morning as you walk inside, give the barista your order and pay. Your reading quickly becomes scanning- you got the place!- for payments to make, forms to fill, people to contact, etc. But you’re stoked! This new apartment is better than the ex’s, and the one you had before him, so you really can’t help yourself from smiling like a dork.

“Seems like ye’ve got a love-hate relationship wif’ that thing.” A masculine and not too unfamiliar voice says from your right.

You startle, almost ready to throw hands, and then remember that the voice is familiar. You stare at him- shit, it’s the Amazon from yesterday. Everything had been so chaotic you had forgotten about that embarrassing encounter with the hunks, but you had no such luck. It’s fine. He doesn’t seem too disgusted with you. 

“Oh! No, um. I got broken up with yesterday.” You say, reading his expression to see if there’s any hatred there , that you accidentally made his service dog sniff you out and take him away from his boyfriend. “Had to move out and find a new place on short notice.”

“And ye got the place?” He says, pretty blue eyes soft and inviting. It’s like he cares.

“Yes. It’s really lovely . Rent’s maybe a bit much but I’m sure I can budget it… It’s such a great stroke of luck that I’ve found it under 24 hours.” Ouch. Overshare. You cringe inwardly.

The Amazon nods.

“O’ course. ‘M glad fer ye.” Hot and nice. If he wasn’t a taken man….

“Thank you.” You say, smiling shyly. He smiles- big and bright and genuine.

“Och, no need tae thank me.”

Your brow furrows and you’re about to explain how your thanks are very much deserved- you should be thanking him for breathing the same air as you, much less hold a conversation with you- and then the barista calls out a poor butchering of your name and you leave because you’ve got some new-apartment paperwork to do.

It’s only halfway through scanning PDFs that you realise you hadn’t even gotten his number.

——

You’re going grocery shopping because it’s been three days and you’re frankly getting sick of takeout. You had written a list and you were considering if you needed apples when, for the second time this week, a masculine voice shocks you out of your train of thought.

“Well, lookit tha’!” The Amazon exclaims (you haven’t even gotten his name). You look up from your pondering. He smiles the way he had at the cafe; big and bright, and he claps your shoulder with his big hand.

“How’s the new flat?” He asks.

“Oh, it’s better than the photos,” you say. Just thinking about how pretty the flat was during your tour yesterday was enough to make you smile again.

“‘M glad, bonnie.” He says.

“Bonnie?” You ask, confused. Did he think that was your name?

“Don’t worry about it! How about this weather?” The Amazon says loudly , making you blink.

You chat with Johnny in the produce section about whatever comes to mind, and then at some point the Amazon- Johnny, as he introduces himself- shifts your focus from the groceries and he ushers you to a new cafe right next to the grocery store. You buy your drink and find a booth and you spend at least two hours talking with Johnny. At some point, you had to leave because you truly did have other things to do, no matter how nice the conversation was.

——

The next day, you’ve gotten your keys and are moving your boxes into your new flat. The neighbours seem quiet, you think, as you heft a box of plates into the apartment.

It’s been about half an hour before you get all the boxes inside and start fiddling with some deadbolts you’d bought on Amazon, just in case.

"Need help?" A voice asks, materialising behind you and spooking the living hell out of you. You then recognize him as the blond hunk- Johnny’s boyfriend, Simon. He’s staring- waiting for an answer, shit.

"No, I'm okay. Um, thank you, though." You say, still feeling remnant fear from his sudden appearance.

"Did you just move in?" He asks. Blunt, you think. The dog from earlier is there, too, tail wagging.

“Yes.” You hesitate- no way you have enough luck in this world to bag a beautiful apartment and beautiful neighbours. You decide you just have to know. “Do you… live here?” You ask.

Simon grunts. “We’re the flat over.”

“Oh!” You smile. “Well. Thank you for offering to help, neighbour.” You say, cringing a little- 'neighbour'? really?- but you put on a smile that must coax a smile from Simon from underneath his face mask. Then he says bye and you’re quick to reciprocate while the dog trots over to butt its head against your leg, and then they go into the flat over, just like Simon said.

——

The next morning, Johnny and Simon, your new, beautiful neighbours, are at your door at ten. Thankfully, it’s your day off, otherwise, they’d be knocking in an empty apartment.

When you open your door after the second knock, Johnny is standing in front of Simon outside your front door, holding a platter full of blueberry muffins and a still-tired Simon hovering behind him- almost protectively, you think. You probably don’t look the best as your plans today were to rot in bed.

“Hello, you two.” You say, trying to subtly fix your appearance while smiling .

“Hi! Ae made ye muffins. Tae help settle ‘ta the new flat.” Johnny says proudly.

“Wow, thank you. You didn’t have to. Here, come inside- I’m sorry, it’s a mess,” you apologise, inwardly panicking. After you’d gotten all the boxes in, you hadn’t even considered unpacking anything but the essentials yet. And you’d gone digging for certain things, leaving a few boxes open with stuff falling out.

“You got here last night?” Simon asks gruffly while you direct Johnny to set the muffins on your kitchen island.

“Can I make you some tea?” You ask, scrambling for your manners- God, it’d been a while since you last had new people over. You start looking for your kettle.

They start a conversation with you about the weather as you look for mugs and tea bags.

“Sorry, no sugar. Or creamer.” You apologise, making up for it with more tea than normal in their mugs.

Then you talk about leasing dates, the landlord, the best parking areas, the cheapest takeouts, and things to do around.

They manage to get you in their apartment once you become immersed in the conversation enough, just picking back up where you left off on their rather comfy couch. Johnny is more talkative than Simon is, but that’s not to say that Simon is a hulking statue (though that’d be hot, too). He grunts when appropriate, asks you questions, rags on Johnny and seems genuinely interested in the comings and goings of your life.

By the time you leave, it’s half past five and you have a full feeling from companionship. —— You come to realise that Simon and Johnny are the sort of friends you can rely on. You were putting your brand new bed frame up when you realised you didn't have a single screwdriver, so you had tucked your tail and asked the boys if they had one- and to your surprise (and delight) Simon came right over with a toolbox and made the entire frame without being asked to. He even put the mattress atop your new frame. He was just about to fix the hinges on your door before you had to stop him and make him lunch before he remade the entire flat. "Really, you didn't have to do that, Simon," you fret while putting a sandwich together for him while he stares at you, toolbox sitting on the kitchen island. "Sure I did." He says. It's like in their mind they've made up that they have to take care of you- like earlier this week. You'd just gotten home from work and decided to get groceries while you were out and about- you needed milk, anyways. But between the shopping bags and your work bag, your arms were a little overloaded. You didn't want to go through two trips, either, which resulted in you holding five bags and fumbling around for your keys. It was inevitable, really, that your work bag would slip and fall.  You had groaned and just began to bend your knees before you here an 'och, le'me!' from behind you. Johnny is there, taking your work bag and then three of the remaining bags from your arms. "Johnny, it's-" "Nae, I dinnae hear it. Open your door, bonnie." He seems intent on calling you that, too. Even though he knows your name. You'll have to ask about it soon. You just sigh and unlock your door before putting one of the grocery bags down, Johnny following suit.  "Thank you." "Nae sweat o' ma back." He says with a boyish grin before leaving and closing the door behind you. The attention is nice, really. It feels good to be so close to some people you could trust.