JUN - 2024 Douyin Spring Festival

JUN - 2024 Douyin Spring Festival

I should’ve known it was strange

Minghao only had one rule when he became a vampire: never fall for a human.

⋆ pairing: vampire!minghao x f!reader

⋆ word count: 3.9K

⋆ tags: pining, minghao is kinda a stalker, hes really soft and sweet tho, painting date, inner conflict, heavy make out session, talking about feelings, smut in pt 2!

⋆ warnings: mentions of violence, mentions of death, blood, cursing, mentions of drinking

// this is #2 of my halloween special! read fic #1 here

Minghao always had a fascination with humans. He loved how pure and fragile they were, only born to die.

Living whilst knowing the inevitable fate bestowed upon you, that was real living. 

Maybe it was a little dense of him to follow around a human without expecting to grow attached, but he really hadn't foreseen it beforehand. He just brushed it off as a hobby, a fun little secret that made his life more exciting. So, for months he'd find himself in front of your window past midnight. He'd only do it during the week, quickly discovering you'd stay up till late in the weekends.

He'd grow fond of your dark eyelashes resting on your cheeks when you'd be fast asleep, and your lips that always seemed to be slightly parted, even your messy hair. But most of all, he loved how you always tightly held on to the big teddy bear between your arms, fingers clutching onto the soft brown fur.

This would go on for months, him appearing in the shadow of your balcony, leaning against the brick wall to watch you carefully.

He knew he really shouldn't, especially after promising himself he would never fall in love with a human after being turned, but he can't help himself. Besides, he's not in love with you. He's just... attached. There's something about you he can't quite put his finger on, you made him feel more alive than he'd ever felt in his life, even before becoming a vampire.

Then, one day, when appearing at your window after the weekend something had changed. Your window now had curtains, white ones that were see through, but still made it difficult for him to see you.

So, what to do now... his eyebrows furrowed, thoughts crowding his brain. A part of him tells him to stop these visits all together, something he should've done a long time ago. But he'd really treasured the routine of visiting you, and he's not ready to let go of you like this. When the time was ripe it would be on his own terms, when he'd feel ready for it.

The next day he sits in the corner of the cafe you work at, slowly sipping an iced coffee with his painting supplies set up on the table in front of him. The ambience is calm and quiet, with just a few other people inside. He watches you make latte after latte, listening to your sweet voice taking to the customers ordering their coffee's to go while he colors the paper below him a deep green color.

There's a small smile playing on his lips, enjoying how sweet you look helping those who walk in. He overhears you talking to your coworker, talking about going to some club in the city.

"You should really come this weekend! I had so much fun last time!" you give your friend a small nudge to the shoulder, eyes big and excited remembering the past weekend. "Fun? Now that Eunwoo's not bothering you anymore it's suddenly fun?" you whine at Jia, throwing your head back in defeat. You've been trying to get your friend to join you for months, her busy schedule always preventing her from coming along.

Minghao frowns down at his painting after hearing you talk, feeling his chest tighten. The thought of some guy near you makes his jaw clench in anger, and if there's one who's been bothering you he figures he should keep a close eye on you just to be sure. Just in case.

You walk past his table minutes later, going up to him after seeing the empty cup in front of him. "Would you like another one?" you ask, looking at him while he lifts his head up to make eye contact with you. Minghao freezes for a second, taking in the sweet smell of your blood filling his nostrils. He tries to ignore how intoxicating the smell is, his lips curling up in a small smile.

"Yes, thank you." his warm voice and handsome face leave you startled for a second, feeling an intense attraction towards the guy. When you grab his cup your eyes fall on the perfect painting he's working on, a dark forest with pretty flowers scattered around. "Wow," you whisper, quietly inhaling when you catch yourself talking out loud. You softly clear your throat. "I love your painting, you're really good." you compliment him, clutching onto the empty cup in your hands.

Minghao's face lights up before chuckling. "Thanks, that's really kind of you." his gaze is fixated on you, and you can't seem to break away from it. "I used to love painting, but I haven't touched a brush in years." you admit, laughing awkwardly. You don't know why you're even sharing this, but he's so beautiful you can't help yourself talking to him.

"Hmm, it's never too late to start again," he says, smiling at you. "It's nice to escape reality once in a while and get lost in a world you can create yourself..." he nods softly, peering down at the painting in front of him. You bite the inside of your lip before smiling at him. "Yeah... maybe I should," you say softly before straightening up. "I'll go get you another cup then." you tell him before disappearing back behind the counter.

The interaction leaves Minghao feeling hot, happily stroking the hairs of his brush on the paper with you on his mind, adding in some rays of sunlight shining through the dark forest.

The next time he visits you is two days later, sitting in the same spot in the corner to just watch you go on about your day. You two don't talk that day, and he figures you're a bit tired from the way you present yourself, so differently compared to just a few days before. There's still a smile on your face, yet something just feels off about you.

Weekend is here, and Minghao is in the club he overheard you talking about, saying how you're going there tonight with some friends. He knows he shouldn't follow you so much, but since he can't see you at night anymore ( and it would totally be weird to sit in the cafe you work at every day) he told himself it's okay to include the weekends from now on.

Minghao doesn't want you to see him, so he sits at the bar sipping an overpriced cocktail while his super hearing focusses on only you. He enjoys how happy you seem, excitedly talking with your friends and joking around as if there's not a worry in the world.

When you suddenly leave after an hour he takes it as his cue to go home. He walks out of the club, ready to leave as he suddenly picks up your voice from near somewhere. He frowns when he hears the distress in your speech, and his body freezes when he quickly puts the puzzle pieces together; you're talking to the asshole that's been harassing you, and not only that, he's got his filthy hands on you.

"Don't fucking touch me." you say through gritted teeth, pulling at your arm to get him off of you. Eunwoo tightens his grip on your wrist, pushing you against the wall in the alleyway he's claimed he 'only wanted to talk' at. His jaw is clenched, his face inching closer as he talks into your ear. "Then fucking listen to me." his tone is angry, not ready to let you walk away from him again.

"I'm done talking with you. You never listen to me anyways. I told you, It's over, fucking cheater." You push against his chest, his grip only tightening. He's for sure going to leave a bruise.

Minghao is about to intervene, blinded by anger at the audacity of this guy. He's not only bothering you, he's touching you, hurting you. And no one hurts something that's his. He wants to smash his head against the brick building, kill him slow and painfully, he wants to rip that stupid face off his body before throwing him in a dumpster somewhere, where he belongs. Yes, you might scream at him, or run away in fear, forever scarred by him, but at least you'll be safe.

Then, you tell Eunwoo something that catches him off guard, finally pulling out of his grip and hastily walking off, back to the busy street filled with party-goers.

Minghao watches as you walk back into the club, rubbing your painful wrist. He wants go after you, make sure you're okay, but first he feels the need to do something else. When nearing the man in the alleyway he can't help the smile from growing on his face, only one thought in his mind: It's free play now.

Minghao loves the violent act of breaking a neck, the sound of the bones cracking loudly as a result of his touch, all while watching the life drain from his victim's eyes, he would dream about it if he could. He doesn't love tormenting people, he really didn't think of himself as that cruel, but god, right now he wanted nothing more but to torture the guy with a painful, slow death. But there were too many people near for that, and this wasn't an area he knew very well, so Eunwoo should consider himself lucky.

He dumps the body in a pile of trash, deciding he'd clean it up after the packed streets emptied out later.

First, he needs to see you, make sure you're okay. He just hopes you haven't ran straight home after the whole incident, although that won't be such a bad thing. When walking back to the entrance of the club he can see you about to walk out, jacket in your hand.

You seem okay, and he decides to keep his distance like he's always done, wanting everything but for you to get involved with a vampire. You deserve better than that, yet his heart can't help feeling heavy because of it (or whatever's left of it ) but it's too dangerous. He would never forgive himself if he ever hurt you, and he knows he will if he lets himself get too close to you.

But, things don't always go to plan, and he's taken aback when you suddenly put your arm around his bicep, flashing a big smile when recognizing the hot guy you complimented at work. The touch runs through his body like a ripple, leaving him, the two-hundred-something year old, out of all things, completely flustered.

He's screwed.

Minghao spend the next week thinking how you'd put up such a happy facade despite the situation prior, wondering what else you're dealing with all on your own. It hurts him to think about you by yourself in your home, the possible negative thoughts clouding your mind like a taunting whisper. He can tell you don't have many people you could trust with things like this, and somewhere inside of him he wants it to be him who comforts you, the only person to kiss your face and tell you that everything will work out, the only person that will do everything to protect you forever.

The thought of any other man holding you or even talking to you unleashed a burning fire in his chest, and he curses himself for already being in this deep.

He wanted to keep his distance, he really did, but after a week he needed to see you. What if there was another person in your life making you unhappy? Another man bothering you? He couldn't forgive himself if someone were to happen to you out of his control, so, after a long week of not seeing you he's back at the cafe.

Some girl that isn't you takes his order, and he sits down at his table figuring if you're not here today he will just come back another day after finishing his drink, but right when he's thinking to leave you walk out from the back, your jacket draped over your arm.

You're about to get home after finishing your shift, energy levels high knowing you have the entire weekend off. You're caught off guard when you spot a familiar face, one you've havent been able to get out of your head for weeks now. You make eye contact with him, and you give him a small smile. It's now or never.

You surprise yourself when you walk over to him, sitting down in the seat across from him with a shy look on your face. "Hi." you greet him, watching as he straightens his posture. His lips turn to an attractive smirk, his eyes boring into you deeply, making a shiver run across your back. "Hey." he licks his lips before smiling at you warmly. There's just something about this guy that makes you attracted to him like a magnet, a riddle that you wish to uncover.

When you don't respond, too stuck in thought, his body softly leans forward, his stomach against the edge of the table. "You were the one that recognized me last week, weren't you?" he pouts his lips a little as to think, even though the thought of not remembering you was absurd to him, but he couldn't come across as too much of a creep.

You relax into your seat, your glowing face on show for him to admire. "Yeah." you chuckle. "I'm y/n." you tell him. "I've been thinking about you," you admit, seeing something shift in his eyes. "I was wondering if you want to, uhm, maybe you'd like to go on a date with me?" you swallow a lump in your throat, your cheeks flush in embarrassment.

Minghao opens his mouth a little. Out of all the things he thought you'r might say, he never expected you to ask him out, and he's a little upset that he isn't the one asking you first.

He chuckles before speaking. "A date?" he raises his eyebrow at you, the thought of taking his distance from you completely out the window if he says yes to this. You nod, not able to hide the slight pout forming on your face.

"I would very much like to go on a date." he tells you, biting his lip. You try not to look at his lips, instead focussing on the dark long hairs falling past his neck. "And I'm Minghao." he tells you, earning a smile from you. "Maybe you can teach me some painting, since you're so good. Um... at my place?" he exhales a warm breath, smiling cutely at your request before nodding. "I'll bring my supplies." he says.

The next day Minghao and you are sat at your table in the living room, with two table top easels propped up on the thick wooden frame in front of you. His voice is sweet and gentle when he talks you through the steps of painting a pretty ocean, with thick clouds scattered around.

"You make it look so effortless." you whine, trying to fix the mess that was your clouds, even though they looked more like sheep overdue for a trim. A giggle leaves his lips, and the sweet sound leaves your stomach hot in a way that probably shouldn't happen this soon.

"Here," he says, putting his hand on yours to help you shape it better. You shyly look down, his touch sending tingles down your entire body. Minghao's focussed on your painting, making sure to get every little detail perfectly. You look up at him, noticing how close he is, his face a few inches from yours.

When he's satisfied he lets go of your hand softly, slowly turning his head to look at you. You can tell he feels the thick tension too, his breath deepening once you lock eyes. You swallow a lump in your throat. His dark eyes watch you carefully before a playful smile appears on his face.

You open your mouth to talk, but get cut off by Minghao, who drags a dark blue smear of paint across your cheek, his pleasant giggles filling the air again. "Oh my god!" you say in disbelief, standing up from your seat to quickly stick your pointy finger in a white glob of paint. Minghao keeps laughing, hurriedly making his way to the other side of the table, standing across from you with a mischievous expression.

"Come here, coward." you tell him, running around the table to try to catch him. Minghao is fast, easily keeping his distance from you. He's back at the opposite side across from you, grabbing one of the paint tubes in front of him and squeezing a small amount on his finger.

He's the one chasing you again, and it doesn’t take him long before he has you cornered, standing in front of you with a smirk on his face. “Got you.” he says, putting his hand up to smear some paint of your face, but you’re quick to grab his wrist, trying to keep him from putting another smear on your cheek. Your other hand sneaks up to his face, spreading the white pain on his cheek without being able to contain your laughter.

Minghao smiles at you, grabbing both your wrist in his grip and pinning it down against your body while he cups your jaw, smearing the red paint on the corner of your mouth while he looks at you. You two make eye contact, and you huff out a breath you’ve been holding in.

He moves moves his eyes down to your mouth, and you make a point of dragging your tongue over your bottom lip, a subtle invite you hope he catches. He strokes your plump lip with his thumb before looking at you again, a dark look behind his eyes before he leans in, grabbing your jaw a little tighter before he presses his hot mouth against yours, roughly kissing you like he’s been deprived of the intoxicating taste of you forever.

His grip on your wrists tighten almost possessively, and you can’t help loving the feeling of being trapped like this, eagerly kissing him back with an equal amount of drive behind you.

Minghao groans in your mouth, his chest heaving while his breath is heavy. He picks up the the smell of the sweet blood pumping through your veins, gliding his hand down to pull you closer by the back of your neck, his thumb stroking the skin above your vein.

Then, suddenly, he pulls away quickly, turning his body while putting a hand through his hair while he catches his breath. You look at him, a frown appearing between your eyebrows. “Is everything okay Minghao?” you ask him softly, taking a step towards him. Minghao shakes his head. “No.” he says, pausing for a second. “No, I’m not okay.” he tells you, turning to face you again.

He wants to curse himself for even allowing himself to get this far with you, his mind filled with thoughts of how he’s been stupid, selfish. Selfish to think he wouldn’t catch feelings for you. Selfish to think he would be able to control himself with the smell of your blood hitting his nostrils. Selfish that he thought he could protect you like this.

“I should leave.” he nods, turning to the table to collect his stuff. Your body fills with anxiety, watching as he grabs his painting supplies. Have you done something wrong? Said something? “What?” you say softly, almost inaudible if it wasn’t for his vampire hearing. “I don’t want you to leave.” you tell him.

If it was any other guy you would’ve told him to go, leave if you want. You don’t want anyone who doesn’t want you. Yet, it feels different with Minghao. There was a real connection there, a pull, and you’re sure he has to feel it too. There’s no way he doesn’t.

“I don’t want to do something i’ll regret.” he tells you, turning to look back at you. When he sees you standing there he wants nothing more than to pull you close again, hold you like you’re his.

“Regret?” you mumble, feeling a little hurt. A pout appears on your lips. “No.. not like that, it’s just… shit,” he sighs. “I… I don’t want to hurt you.” he takes a step closer to you, looking down at you with a pained look on his face. “Hurt me?” you whisper, looking back at him. You close the space between the two of you, putting your hand on his wrist. You get on your tippy toes to puts your lips close to his ear. “What if I want you to hurt me?” you withdraw your head to look at him again.

Minghao feels like his chest might explode, a little taken aback by your words. He tightens his jaw before speaking. “I’m not so sure you’d still like me if you found out the truth.” he tells you, looking away for a second. You pull him even closer to you, making him snap his eyes right back at you. “What truth, Minghao?” you whisper, gulping at the close proximity of you two. When he doesn’t say anything you keep talking. “I’m into you. Like, really into you,” you let go of his wrist. “I don’t know what it is… but i feel like there’s… there’s something. Isn’t there?” You watch him closely. “I want you, no, need you. Don’t you feel the same?” you whisper the last part, afraid you’ve read into into this all wrong and he’ll reject you.

He opens his mouth to speak, but closes it again. “If not then I guess-“ you start, but get cut off by Minghao’s voice. “I fucking want you, y/n.” he says almost angrily, towering over you. Minghao looks at you while the whites of his eyes turn a deep shade of red, with prominent dark lines appearing under his eyes. He opens his mouth, showing the long fangs that have grown. He grabs your arm and pulls you against his body, looking at your wide eyes scanning his face.

A shiver runs across your body when you study his face, eyes big and filled with shock.

“Scared?”

part two: here!

decided to make this 2 parts since it was getting kinda long! happy halloween 👻

240413 COACHELLA | MINGI

— the first circle of hell ⟢

pairing: jun x reader

summary: the first time you catch a glimpse of jun, you feel like you’ve seen him somewhere before. a magazine cover, a billboard, or a music show you watched in passing. jun, on the other hand, seems to know you a lot better than you know yourself.

word count: 6.3k words

tags: vampire!jun, stylist!reader, reincarnation, angst, smut

warnings: graphic depictions of sex, minors dni

notes: hi! this is my first fic on this blog and for seventeen in general! <3 i’d greatly appreciate any comments you’d leave for me hehe :3c this fic also comes in two parts, with this being the first. i hope you enjoy!

Keep reading

— ode to you ⟢

if there's one thing you've learned from all the lives you've spent together, it's that jeonghan isn't always someone you'll end up wanting. he can be crass. he can be secretive. he can be nothing short of vexing. but in the end, he's everything you need him to be.

or: 25 lives in which you find and don't find jeonghan.

★ FEATURING; jeonghan x gn!reader

★ WORD COUNT; 6.9k words

★ TAGS; reincarnation, multiple lives, pining, angst, suggestive scenes but no smut, sooo many tropes

★ WARNINGS; mentions of blackmail, implied murder, implied depression, mentions of puking/vomiting, mentions of car accidents major character death

★ NOTES; i was supposed to work on my collab fics but i feel like i've gotten a little rusty w my prose so i wrote this as a little writing exercise of sorts :D i've written for other fandoms in this format before and i thought it was high time i did the same for seventeen with my ult of all ults <3 i hope you enjoy!

this is inspired by tongari's 25 lives

★ PERMANENT TAGLIST; @cheolhub - @pretty-trustme - @just-here-to-read-01 - @Idkmelkro - @dejavernon - @venusrae - @jyiiscool - @jiniesclub - @junhui-recs - @bldelaine - @featmia - @fruitzcup - @hoeforhao - @candidupped - @billboard-singer - @caratochan - @novalpha - @dahliatopia - @0717luv - @shiveringgaze - @toruro - @mixling-blog - @minnie-mouser22 - @homerunhansol - @mirtaspace - @ti–red - @zzucculent - @woozarts - @rubyreduji - @mozellerra - @lllucere - @cheolzip - @jjjzzzz - @lissiesykes - @jeonride - @meowmeowminnie - @colored-confetti - @partiallyinfluencial - @speaknowlwt - @flwrshwa - @lilylikesthat - @aurorahongg - @whippedforjihoon

★ JEONGHAN TAGLIST; @yoonzinoooo - @scandal-in-bohemia - @bias-recs - @lunaryoongie

01. the very first time i remember you, you are blonde and you don’t love me back.

One strict rule that you make sure to uphold with all of your clients is that business comes first before all else.

You're a well-known freelancer that lands gigs left and right from high-end fashion brands and magazines alike. The only way your career managed to survive in such a cut-throat industry is because of the strict professionalism you never failed to maintain.

That's until you meet Jeonghan for the first time.

Fluffy blonde hair framing his face, curling just along the edges. Slanted eyes that crinkle just a bit whenever he smiles. And a lazy grin that betrays just how nonchalant he is about the entire thing. Like he knows he's gorgeous he is and how everyone else in the vicinity is aware of the fact, too.

You've worked with a handful of people with breathtaking features in in the past, but there doesn't seem to be any word in any language that could encapsulate just how mesmerizing Jeonghan is.

For the first time in your career, you find yourself wanting to reach for the subject being captured by the lens of your camera. Just to make sure he was an actual person and not some doll crafted from fine silk and porcelain. The fact that he's modeling with a bouquet of lush flowers does little to your peace of mind.

But your innate professionalism overrules whatever nonsensical desires your sleep-deprived brain could conjure in that moment.

Once you're satisfied with the material you've come up with, you're quick to dismiss Jeonghan and the rest of the team, and call it a day. You have another shoot to oversee in less than two hours and you'd like to avoid the rush hour traffic if you can.

Yet, despite your urgency, you stop halfway to the door to the studio—casting a sidelong glance at the person who's supposed to be one of your temporary colleagues and none else.

"Jeonghan," you call out, his name tasting bittersweet on your tongue. "It was nice working with you today."

He barely glances up at you from the soft glow of his phone screen, not even a smile spared your way.

"Yeah, sure."

02. the next time, you are brunette, and you do.

Yoon Jeonghan is the biggest menace you've met in your life.

Not only does he keep stealing your parking space in the office basement and plucks off the last brownie in the pantry during break time, but he's after the promotion you've been vying after for months, too.

Needless to say, he's public enemy number one in your eyes, and all your colleagues are well aware of the scorching rivalry you two constantly waged in the workspace.

But on the night before you're set to present the proposal that you swear up and down would make your superiors choose you over that sniveling prick, the Devil himself swoops into your cubicle with a shit-eating grin on his face.

"Do you really not see it?"

You frown at him as you shove your laptop into your bag with an air of irritation. "See what? That they're going to select you for the promotion? I don't, actually. That's why I'm—"

The words promptly melt on your tongue when Jeonghan forces a hand on divider separating your space with the others—trapping you with a sleazy look on his face. His dark brown tresses fall across his piercing eyes but you force yourself to hold your ground.

In the midst of it all, a moment's worth of familiarity crosses your mind.

Blonde hair styled to perfection. A bouquet of flowers just as beautiful as the man that models for them.

How long has it been since then?

"Can't you see that I'm only doing all this to get your attention?" he chuckles. "I've always known you're a bit slow on the uptake, but you might need an extra push in the right direction."

You gulp nervously. "W-What's that supposed to mean?"

Jeonghan shakes his head, amusement dancing across his features in a way that makes you want to smack him, if not for the laws imposed on the land.

"Have dinner with me tonight and I'll withdraw from the competition" he propositions. "How's that sound?"

...Isn't this blackmail? It definitely sounds like blackmail.

But despite knowing that you should just bring your knee up to smash into his family jewels, your face heats up with the implications of his offer instead.

An offer that you begrudgingly accept.

03. after a while i give up trying to guess if the color of your hair means anything.

"Really?"

Jeonghan grins when he steps into your apartment sporting his newest dye job. You're perfectly aware that idols these days get the most outrageous hair colors, but you didn't think his stylist would be daring enough to pull off long purple hair for Jeonghan just a few months after his group's debut.

Over the years, Jeonghan cycles through a lot more colors than you'd ever thought he'd be willing to try. Blonde, pink, red, brown, silver—all of them, he pulls off with grace.

Even when his idol days are over, he still gets bouts of wanting to march into the nearest salon for another makeover, and you rectify this by just buying the cheapest bleaching kits online despite his whines in protest.

"Our stylist noonas would've been alright with a house call." He pouts just a little as you force him to sit still. "It might come out all patchy."

"Do you have so little faith in your partner's bleaching skills?" you huff, dipping the brush you have in one hand into the bowl of sharp-smelling bleaching mix in the other. "Your stylists noonas charge a fortune, too. We're better off doing it ourselves."

Jeonghan laughs. "You act like we can't afford it."

Turns out, you fucked up the portions of your little bleach concoction and your harmless session resulted into googling first aid for bleaching burns and soaking Jeonghan's scalp with coconut oil for the rest of the day.

"Sorry," you mumble as you help rinse out the oil the next morning. "Do you want to contact your stylist or head to a salon instead?"

Despite your wary disposition, Jeonghan merely breathes out a chuckle, taking your hand in his as he meets your eyes in the bathroom mirror.

There, two rings glimmer in the morning light—the one he shares with his twelve brothers and the one you slid onto his index on the day of your wedding.

"I've been through worse, love. This is nothing," he insists before pressing a soft kiss across your knuckles. "Let's just let my scalp rest for a few days before we dye it, okay?"

You shake your head with a laugh. Really, what are you supposed to do with this man?

"If you insist."

04. because even when you don’t exist, i'm still in love with you.

"You got my name wrong again."

In the middle of packing a takeout bag for the food delivery guy waiting in the corner of the café, you look up to some familiar college kid standing in front of the counter with a furrow on his brow. A regular, maybe.

"Sorry?" you ask, brain a little too frazzled to make sense of what he was trying to say.

Said college kid shows you the underside of his cup—the name Jeonghan scribbled hastily onto the material.

"My name's Jeongin," he sighs. "I've been coming here everyday and I swear, you always get it wrong."

"Well, I'm so sorry, Jeongin, I'll make sure it doesn't happen again," you manage to wrench out before calling out to the delivery guy, saying the order was ready for pick-up.

Funnily enough, you end up living together with Jeongin by some twist of fate. Your shoes are lined up with his outside the apartment, toothbrushes lying in the same cup in the bathroom, and you even steal his hoodies every now and again.

But what you don't tell your boyfriend of five years is how you still dream of the man whose name brought you together in the first place.

A man who you don't get the pleasure to meet in this life, much like a dozen others that came before.

05. i remember most fondly those lifetimes where we get to grow up together

In the past (though its definition is a little...unique in your case), you were convinced that just because Jeonghan is the sole singularity to which your existence is anchored to, that doesn't necessarily mean you'll get to have him and him alone in each life.

Yet in this one, you're fully convinced that he's the only person who'll ever have your heart.

It's on a cold, winter afternoon when you realize that you're in love with the boy that showed you how to cross the monkey bars in elementary school. The boy who gives you his packed lunch whenever you forget yours at home. The boy who taught you how to pick locks so you could sneak into his father's liquor shop and get drunk behind the counter.

Jeonghan has always been a fascinating person in whatever life you meet him. But now that you've got a taste of what it feels to grow up alongside him—witnessing him transition from a snotty kid to a troublesome adult—you can't picture yourself wanting anyone else.

He's rightfully startled when you confess your feelings merely minutes after having realized them. You've lived through this endless cycle of meeting and parting ways enough times to know that there's no room for uncertainty.

And each time he accepts you with open arms, the relief that washes over you feels like the first time all over again.

06. when i share my secrets and sorrows and hiding places with you.

There are times when you're the one who doesn't remember the lives you've lived in the seemingly endless cycle.

When you meet Jeonghan in this life, it's with shoulders carrying the weight of emotional baggage and dreams that have been crushed right before your eyes. It's an understatement to say that you're inexplicably drawn to him as if he's a beacon in the dark. But even if you're yet to remember, Jeonghan has always been easy to trust. Easy to fall into.

One night is particularly heavier than the rest. Your meds aren't kicking in the way they're supposed to and it's raining much too harshly to pay your comfort person a late night visit.

Yet when you call your boyfriend as you choke on your own tears, he's at your door in half an hour—paper bags full of all your favorite snacks in hand with a smile that feels like a ray of sunlight amidst a raging storm.

But he's quick to drop all of it and pull you into a hug when he sees the mess you are in the living room.

"I'm a bad person," you sob into his chest, clinging to the fabric of his jacket as he placates you in his tender embrace. "I'm s-selfish and always just think about myself. I've done so many terrible things, Hannie... How could you even love someone like me?"

Jeonghan doesn't answer right away. He calms you down for the better part of an hour before rising to get you a glass of water in the kitchen. Your boyfriend watches with quiet attentiveness until the look on your face tells him that you're ready to talk again.

"So what if you're a bad person, love?" he murmurs before planting a kiss on your forehead. "Tell me every terrible thing you did and let me love you anyway."

Despite yourself, you let out a soft laugh. "Which cheesy pocketbook did you pull that one out of?"

"Hey, I drove for thirty minutes in the rain and this is how you thank me?" He huffs before reaching for a bag of chips he haphazardly strewn across the coffee table, tearing it open and offering you a piece. "I read that on Pinterest, by the way."

07. i love how you play along with my bad ideas

In many, many lives, Jeonghan is not yours to love.

And that's okay. There isn't a fine print stating that because you're blessed (cursed?) to meet him in each lifetime, you're meant to be together against all odds.

Fate is fickle like that—so unpredictable that you never really know how to act whenever you do cross paths with Jeonghan eventually.

Still, even if you're not destined to be lovers, you can still love him in other ways.

Like helping him sneak out of his third period lecture so he can come watch local street performers hold a fundraising show in some underground bar. You do all this because he once told you that he wanted to support them in any way he could.

If only Jeonghan could see the grin on his face that gets wider with each dancer that takes the stage, he wouldn't have a hard time wondering why it was so easy to fall in love with him.

"So when's the next time you'll help me sneak out of a lecture?" Jeonghan asks as the two of you head back to campus at a mellow pace even if Jeonghan's next classes starts in ten minutes.

You hum as if genuinely contemplating. "Maybe after you do me a huge favor in return for this one."

Your shoulders bump together as he lets out an easygoing laugh. As the late afternoon sunlight filters through a canopy of trees and onto your best friend's face, you feel a tug at your heartstrings that urges you to pull him in for a kiss.

But you don't.

08. before you grow up and realize that they’re bad ideas.

"Are you sure this is safe?"

Jeonghan's voice sounds considerably spooked when the amusement park staff locks in the over-the-shoulder restraints. The buzz of excitement from other visitors rings in your ears and he seems to be the only person that isn't looking forward to being on a rollercoaster.

"You act like this is the first time you've been on one." You roll your eyes. "Just relax and feel the wind on your face, yeah? If it gets too much just hold my hand or whatever."

You should not have offered in the first place because by the time the you've made two trips around the wildly looped tracks, you're convinced Jeonghan has already cut any and all circulation to your fingers with how tightly he's gripping your hand.

But still...you can't deny that it feels a little nice to be needed by him.

09. (and in our lives together i have many, many bad ideas.)

“Do I know you?” 

Jeonghan makes the mistake of blurting out those very strange words when he catches you sitting right next to him at the bar. You startle when he breaks the ice, fully convinced you're the one who had to initiate when you deliberately slid into the stool to his right.

Amused, you study him without much of a real expression before the tension in your posture melts into gentle laughter.

“No,” you say with a tone that suggests you're making fun of him. “But we could get out of here so we can get to know each other better. What’s your name?”

A dozen expressions flit across Jeonghan's face in mere seconds and you would've laughed again if you didn't know the reason behind the perplexity of his reactions.

“It’s Jeonghan. But you can call me…”

Before he can get the rest of the pick-up line out, he promptly throws up all over your outfit.

10. when we meet as adults, you're always much more discerning. I don't blame you.

"Again."

Your sweat beads across your forehead and drips onto the floor as you catch your breath. Palms braced across your knees, you look up to your mentor with a resentful glare.

In this life, Jeonghan—who was considered part of the 'anemic line' in his group eternities ago—is now one of the most well-known choreographers in the industry and would probably put Soonyoung to shame with how much of a perfectionist he is when it comes to your routines.

"Can't I get a five-minute water break?" you plead.

"You can get one when you think you deserve it," he says flatly before crossing his legs. "Do you?"

Much to your chagrin, you're just as much of a perfectionist as he is in this life. You shake your head with a guttural sigh, forcing yourself back into position despite your muscles aching for a break.

You don't miss the way Jeonghan smiles at your display of determination, but you don't let yourself think much of it either.

11. yet, always, you forgive me.

Jeonghan is upset with you.

He has all the right to be, really. You promised that you'll leave enough candy bars from your Trick or Treat haul to last both of you for a week, but you ended up overeating while binging your afternoon cartoons and now there's only one stick of chocolate left in the hollow, pumpkin-shaped bucket.

"I'm sorry," you murmur. "Do you want to go to the candy store to buy some more? I can break my piggy bank if—"

"No, you're saving up for that new game on your Nintendo DS, right?"

The fact that he actually remembers that makes you gape at him. "Um, yeah, but it's no big deal. A candy bar is only worth a few—"

Not giving you any leeway to speak any further, Jeonghan grabs the last candy bar inside the bucket—tearing the packaging open with his teeth before breaking the chocolate in half in the middle. Despite his annoyance, he hands you the other half with a small pout.

"Then just keep saving up so we can play it together," he grumbles and even when he's barely eight years old, it comes so natural for him to show you how much he cares about you.

12. as if you understand what’s going on

"Do you go here often?"

You flash the stranger who's speaking to you a befuddled look—not expecting to hear a line typically used on you in bars at your father's yacht club, of all places. He's wearing tattered jeans and an atrocious pink flannel over an equally tattered shirt. You wonder if he's just going for an odd aesthetic or if he's in dire need of a closet makeover.

"No. I'm just waiting for my father," you tell the man honestly before glancing at the boats docked by the pier. "He bought another yacht that I'm sure he won't even think of after bragging about it to his friends."

The stranger laughs. "I know how you feel. My old man's just as materialistic as yours sounds."

Oh. Maybe he is just going for an odd aesthetic with his fit after all.

"Wouldn't have thought you were a nepo baby, too," you snort before kicking a lone pebble into the water—watching it sink into the depths until it's out of sight. "I thought you were one of the boys that maintain these things while their owners completely forget about them."

"Hmm, I can be anything you want me to be," he chuckles and even if you've only met this guy five minutes ago, something about his laughter sounds so oddly familiar.

"The name's Jeonghan, by the way." The not-so stranger smiles and the feeling that you know him from somewhere intensifies tenfold.

"What's yours?"

13. and you're making up for all the lifetimes in which one of us doesn't exist

You like to think of yourself as an independent person.

You've crossed literal lifetimes in the strangest rendition of immortality that you've never once read in all the books you've deigned to pick up in this never-ending eternity. It's only natural for you to be self-sufficient.

But when it comes to Jeonghan, you always get to refamiliarize yourself with what it feels like to be lonely.

There are things about him that you consider irreplaceable: the curve of his easygoing smile, the warmth of his slender fingers, and the touch you yearn for constantly.

You're perfectly aware that you don't need Jeonghan for all these lives to gain some semblance of meaning. In fact, it's in the lives where you don't meet him that you get to learn a thing or two about yourself.

But when he is there, when he's the reason you get out of bed everyday, you simply think that a second of being with Jeonghan in the flesh is worth more than a lifetime in his absence.

14. and the ones where we just, barely, never meet.

Your phone is pressed into your ear in the middle of the grocery store because your good friend Joshua thought it was the perfect time to rant about his insufferable boss.

Being the lovely person that you are, you let him talk your ear off as you parse through the cabbages on display—wondering which one you should bring home for salad night.

"He's such a fucking prick, you know?" Joshua groans out the same sentence for the third time since you picked up his call. "No wonder his wife is having an affair behind his back. That's karmic retribution if I've seen it.''

"Shua, have you ever considered just resigning instead of making me your therapist?"

"I have, it's just that finding a new job is way more of a hassle than dealing with my asshole boss everyday," he grumbles. "But about the therapist thing—thanks for always listening to me. I know I can be annoying at times but you always put up with it any..."

Joshua's voice fades into the backdrop of your mind when you spot a flash of pink in the corner of your eyes. You instinctively turn your head in the direction of a stranger running towards the exit of the supermarket—wearing an atrocious pink flannel that you would recognize anywhere in any lifetime.

You briefly apologize to Joshua before ending the call, shoving your phone into the pocket of your jeans before leaving your push cart to chase after the figure receding from your line of sight.

You just barely catch him hopping onto a bus when your instincts lead you to further outside. You would have sprinted for a ride, had it not been for the children that obstruct your path with a little game of tag.

By the time you finally shake them off, the bus has already driven past the intersection—snuffing out the candle, leaving you in the dark.

15. i hate those. i prefer the ones in which you kill me.

You've watched a dozen serial killer documentaries in your lifetime—well, lifetimes. They always start the same way: a psychopath with a way with words charming his next unsuspecting victim into their utter demise.

While you absolutely did not know that this life's Jeonghan will turn out to be a crazed lunatic that gets off on seeing another human being's blood on his hands, it doesn't really change the fact that your heart is still tethered to him despite.

He still smiles as sweetly as you can remember as the tip of his knife glides along the column of your throat. His voice is just as comforting in those lives where he'd never forget to kiss you good night right before going to sleep.

"You're such a pretty little thing, aren't you?" Jeonghan murmurs. "But you'd be so much prettier if you just lay still."

The last thing you remember seeing is the angelic look on his face as if he's the one who'll personally escort you to the next life.

You don't particularly mind.

16. but when all's said and done, i'd rather surrender to you in other ways.

It's only amidst the post-orgasmic clarity that you realize how much of a fool you are.

These quick trysts you share with Jeonghan are brief. He invites you over under the guise of something that isn't sex for the sake of propriety, only to pull you into his apartment and kiss you until stars danced behind your eyelids.

He's flicks the cigarette he's having on the ashtray as he complains about a coworker he's been trying to get with for the past month. She likes playing hard-to-get, but I like her so much that I don't really mind? Is that weird? Oh, do you want a smoke, too? Sure, let me light you a quick one in a sec—

You're a fool because you've spent dozens, if not hundreds of lives chasing after him—whether you yourself are aware of it or not.

To Jeonghan, this is a life he probably won't remember in the next. To you, it's another inescapable death sentence.

"Maybe you should drop the nice guy act," you suggest before taking a drag of your own—not caring how the ashes stain Jeonghan's crisp white sheets despite his protests. "Showing your true colors is what got you to land me, you know."

"And we all know how much of a catch you are." He winks before killing his cigarette on the ashtray.

You're about to respond with an eyeroll until he plucks the cancer stick off your hands as well, disposing of it the same way he did with his own. When Jeonghan maneuvers himself on top of you again, you let out a withering sigh.

"Maybe I should just date you instead," he giggles before leaning down to nip at your ear, slender arms coiling around your waist. "What do you think?"

"You already told me before that I wasn't your ideal partner, asshole," you remind him with a huff.

Jeonghan hums, a noncommittal sound that seems like there's something else layered underneath. "But what if I told you that already changed?"

It's enticing—the possibility of getting to have him again when you couldn't really call him yours right now. But you know better than to take things that aren't meant for you.

At least, not in this life.

"Stop saying silly things and just fuck me already," you grumble, already tugging off his boxers. "Then you'll delete my number right after so you can finally get with the woman of your dreams. Got that?"

17. even though each time, i know i'll see you again, i always wonder

You've always looked forward to summer.

No more grueling classes. No more deadlines to catch up on. Summer means you get to go back to your hometown for a few weeks, unwinding in ways that your usual schedules don't quite permit you to.

Summer also means you'll get to visit Jeonghan again.

Your mother already has food and flowers prepared in advance—saying Mrs. Yoon kicked up a huge fuss when she found out you were going back home this weekend. You receive the news with fond laughter, noting how the flowers Jeonghan's mother picked out are reminiscent of the ones he held in the very first life you met him.

"I'm graduating next year," is the first thing you tell Jeonghan when you arrive, popping open two ice cold sodas before settling yourself on the grass in front of him. "Can you believe it? Four years of college, just gone in a flash. If you actually went through with your performing arts scholarship, you'd know how I feel."

"I'm thinking of getting a job here instead of the city. You know, so you won't feel too lonely without me," you chuckle, the moisture of your drink beading across your fingers. "Although, your sister keeps insisting that they give you plenty of company already and that I should chase after my own dreams first. She's starting to sound a lot like you, you know that?"

Jeonghan doesn't respond. Of course he doesn't. But you can almost hear his stilted laughter in the warm breeze anyway.

You place the flowers and the cola in front of his gravestone with a bittersweet pang in your chest. But before the tears can get the chance to escape, you turn on your heel and leave the cemetery altogether.

You didn't always look forward to summer after the accident that took the love of your life away. But knowing that your best friend—your soulmate—would simply be waiting for you in the next life, things became much, much easier.

18. is this the last time?

"Don't go..."

Jeonghan murmurs the words between drunken hiccups as he nuzzles his face into the crook of your neck. You chuckle, smoothing your hand across his sweater-clad back as he clings to you like a koala.

"Hannie, what do you mean?" you whisper as you glance at the mess of empty bottles you'll have to clean up from the coffee table once you put your boyfriend to bed. "I'm not going anywhere."

He pulls away from you briefly, puffy eyes glistening with tears as he lets out a shuddering sigh.

"I had a dream that you left me for some guy named...Jeongin, or whatever," he mumbles. "I promise I'll treat you better than anyone else. Just don't...leave me."

In some way, he remembers. Not everything because even you don't completely recall all the lives you've lived. There's too many of them now, most of which are too painful to think about all over again.

But this is the first actual instance where Jeonghan unknowingly hints that his past lives stay with him even beyond death, and it makes you wonder if he'll start to remember the others in time as well.

"I won't, Hannie," you whisper, weaving the words into a promise that you'll be sure to keep in the next life, and the hundreds of lives that will inevitably follow.

"I won't."

19. is that really you? 

There are lifetimes where you try, but it just doesn't work out.

Sometimes, fate carves both you and Jeonghan into mismatched pieces of two different puzzles, and he doesn't even try to convince you to stay as you quietly pack away your belongings in dull brown boxes. The tension in your movements tells him that you knows he's watching.

"I'm not getting back together with you, if that's what you're wondering," you rasp. "If you love your job more than me, then I'll be the one to see myself out." 

Jeonghan manages a sad smile that you completely miss—having been so caught up with your frustration with him to look. You thought that in each life he ends up becoming a world-famous idol, it meant that he'd also live all of his days with you by his side.

But things aren't always that simple, and Jeonghan merely stands in resignation as you shut the door to both his house and your heart. 

20. and what if you're already perfectly happy without me?

When you took up a job as an events coordinator, never in your wildest dreams did you expect to be planning Jeonghan's wedding, of all things.

He doesn't seem to remember you and you don't really fault him for not recognizing someone he's met literal lifetimes ago. Not when he's obviously so enamored with his current fiancé.

"We were interested in the deluxe package on your website," Seungcheol, his intended, breaks the ice after the formal introductions, showing you a screenshot on his phone. "Is this inclusive of a lights and sound system or will we have to outsource those somewhere else?"

You nearly miss what Seungcheol was asking you—too caught up in how beautiful Jeonghan looks today. He's grown out his hair longer than he usually does and it's half pinned behind his head.

When it takes you a while to respond, both his and Seungcheol's gazes flicker with confusion before your heart sinks with how in tune they are with each other.

"Y-Yes, lights and sounds are already included in the package." You compose yourself with a warm smile. "But you might be interested in the royalty package. This would give you access to..."

21. ah, but i don’t blame you.

"Baby, I'm sorry."

Jeonghan looks like a kicked puppy sitting at the side of the hospital bed with how apologetic he is. You want to tell him that it really is no big deal but with the lower half of your body temporarily paralyzed, you can't really say that's the case.

"I shouldn't have insisted that you come to the music show when it was raining," he groans. "It's a miracle you managed to swerve out of the truck's way."

You wonder if he remembers the life where you lost him to an accident not so different from the one you narrowly escaped last night. The absolute fear in his eyes the moment he saw you covered in casts and bandages is reminiscent of the time you received the phone call informing you of your boyfriend's passing.

But you don't make it a habit to ponder too long about lives that have long come to an end. What's important is now, where you're still living and breathing and able to remain by his side.

"It's not your fault, Hannie," you murmur as you reach out to pet his head with some difficulty. "I shouldn't have gone past the speed limit in the first place."

"Well, you wouldn't have to do that if I wasn't being so pushy about you showing up," he sighs in defeat. "Tell you what, I'll pull out of all our comeback schedules until you can walk by yourself again."

You frown at him. "What? No! Your managers are going to kill you."

"They will, but knowing you'll be all alone while you recover will kill me inside too."

Jeonghan isn't usually this cheeky with you, so you keep this memory tucked away in your consciousness for as long as you can. Knowing there's no talking him out of it once he's got his mind set, you shake your head with a defeated sigh.

"You better take care of me like they do in those five star nursing homes then."

22. i’ll never burn as brilliantly as you. 

Your favorite lives, you think, are the ones where he lights up the stage and the entire world as an idol.

He's happiest in these kinds of lives. The bond he shares with the rest of his bandmates transcends even the love you've harbored for him through lifetimes, and if there are people you'll gladly surrender Jeonghan to, it's those twelve boys that will always be his brothers no matter what.

"How was that?"

You're in the middle of giving out stage directions for the next round of performers when Jeonghan walks up to you with his signature, lazy smile. He's sweat-stricken with a stutter to each breath he takes, but he makes himself appear just as composed as he wants you to think.

"Breathtaking as always, Jeonghan," you decide to humor him—knowing that the sooner you give him a compliment, the sooner he'll leave you alone. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to—"

"Will you be busy after the show? I wanted to cook dinner for us at home."

A panicked look seizes your face when you gesture for him to keep it down. Your eyes dart around the vicinity—idols and their stylists running around backstage in preparation for the next segment of the show. None of them seemed to have picked up on Jeonghan's little slip of the tongue.

"Shouldn't I be asking you that?" you whisper sharply over the sound of another fellow stage director paging you in the south entrance. "Anyways, I have to go, Hannie. And please don't go blabbing about our relationship where you shouldn't."

When that idiotically handsome smile doesn't fade from his lips, you know things won't exactly go your way as usual.

23. it's only fair that i should be the one

At some point, you stop counting altogether.

The lives you live with and without Jeonghan blend seamlessly into each other the longer the cycle repeats itself. It doesn't hurt as much when you don't find him, but your heart still gushes with relief when you do.

And yet there are instances where you try to spit in the face of fate itself. Instances where you decide that you don't want to be chained to Jeonghan anymore. That the lives you live belong to you and that you won't let some otherworldly force dictate the course of it any longer.

One day in the summer, in some petty attempt to cheat your way out of fate, you decide to date your next door neighbor.

Sujin has the same eyes as Jeonghan—it’s something you can’t really look past. Maybe that’s what makes it so easy for her to wear down your defenses without breaking a sweat.

But the moment the thought crosses your mind, you wipe out every similarity until you can’t see them anymore. They almost look the same apart from gender, but Sujin is so different from Jeonghan, that for a while, you forget about the burden you've been carrying all this time.

One day in the fall, Sujin talks about meeting her brother for dinner, and you don't really ponder about it—agreeing without a hitch.

But that’s only the first of your many mistakes because the man who walks into the restaurant is Jeonghan. Sujin’s brother, the person who’s kissing your girlfriend on the cheek, is Jeonghan. 

“Did you know that Sujin never shut up about you when you brought her the housewarming gift?” Jeonghan snorts before ordering a glass of wine. “Hmm, you look kind of familiar, though… Have we met before?”

“No,” you respond almost instantly.

It doesn’t work. Your master plan of waging war with destiny is rendered utterly useless when Jeonghan bruises his way back into your life. Where Sujin managed to ease herself past the walls you've put up after a few weeks, Jeonghan tears them down in half the time his sister took to pick you apart. 

One day in the winter, Sujin breaks up with you, and in spite of the coil of emotions twisting in your chest, you watch her pack her things and move back into the apartment across the hall. 

One day in the spring, there’s a knock on your front door that you're in no hurry to answer. You stare at Jeonghan with equal parts irritation and relief when you see him there. His grin reminds you of flowers unfurling as he stares back with a challenge in his eyes.

A challenge you loathe, but one you can never refuse.

24. to chase you across ten, twenty-five, a hundred lifetimes

“Don’t you ever get tired?”

Your head is resting on Jeonghan's lap when he poses the question, and you think the fact that your eyes are closed is already an answer on its own.

You used to think you were cursed. Maybe you've incurred enough bad karma in your very first life to provide you with a steady stream of misfortune in the next few million lives you're destined to live.

That could be the reason why you have to live all these lives, meet all these people—rinse and repeat. Is this how the gods are punishing you? Is there anyway to atone for sins you can't even remember committing anymore?

Though…when you open your eyes and see Jeonghan staring out into the distance, you have a hard time thinking of him as a punishment. 

You sit upright and stretch out your limbs. There’s a kink in the back of your neck that might be resolved by a good night’s sleep, but you offer Jeonghan a hand before you can think about it any more.

“No,” you answer as you twines your fingers together, pulling him back to his feet as he spares you a loving smile.

“Not really.”

25. until i find the one where you'll return to me.

"That bouquet's really pretty."

Jeonghan glances behind him with a confused look—frustration clear on his face from trying to get the new stove he had installed in your kitchen last week to start. When his eyes land on the beautiful spill of flowers bundled up in a vase on the dining table, his features soften with fondness.

"Those are the flowers I had when you met me the first time, right?" he chuckles before taking a seat next to you. "The one where I was a 'prick of a model who wouldn't even bat you an eyelash'?"

Your chest bubbles with laughter at his description. You've grown more and more comfortable with telling Jeonghan about the lives you've shared in eternities that have long unspooled, and just when you feared he'd treat you like someone who escaped an asylum, he instead took all your words to heart.

He doesn't quite remember them all on his own, but when you bring up little pieces from old memories you do manage to dredge up, he's able to complete the pieces of the story to form a coherent picture.

Maybe that's what Jeonghan is to you—someone that isn't exactly necessary to have in your life, but someone who makes it infinitesimally better.

If there's one thing you've learned from all the lives you've spent together, it's that Jeonghan isn't always someone you'll end up wanting. He can be crass. He can be secretive. He can be nothing short of vexing.

But he can also be kind, considerate, and present in times when you need him the most.

In the end, he's everything you need him to be.

And you couldn't ask for anything more.

⟢ end notes: me: this is a writing exercise, the word count: pushing 7k :') ok so this wasn't proofread even in the slightest so if you spot any mistakes and errors, no you didn't <3 thank you for joining me in this very self indulgent train of delusion!

think i need someone older

Living in a small village takes a toll on you after having lived in the big city. So, after months of feeling down, your brother Soonyoung decides to get you out of the house for some socializing with his friends. You meet Jeonghan, who for some reason, doesn’t seem to like you.

⋆ pairing: jeonghan x f!reader

⋆ word count: 7.9K

⋆ tags: village au, dom!jeonghan, jeonghan is kinda mean, enemies to ?, name calling, degradation, praise, choking, fingering, teasing, oppa gets used a few times, pussy slapping (once), dry humping, unprotected sex, creampie, wonwoo hears them

⋆ warnings: smut, drug use (marijuana), alcohol consumption

⋆ notes: my first fic on tumblr! this is the first time i’ve written a svt fic since i’m a baby carat 👉👈 hope you enjoy reading it as much as i enjoyed writing it ૮ ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶ ა - mar

title inspired by the song ‘older - isabel larosa’

(index ; next)

A sigh escapes your lips as you eye the growing pile of unread books on your nightstand, never in the mood to start any of them anymore. Buying books and reading books are two different hobbies, or so you heard.

Don't misunderstand, you used to love getting lost in the many different stories, getting sucked into the different plots pulling at your hearts strings in a way to escape boring reality, but, I guess, not anymore.

Nothing really feels fun or fresh anymore after getting back home from a year abroad living in a big city. The fast paced life excited you, meeting new people and seeing new places daily. Your life was filled with constant dopamine, with good highs and undeniably some low lows, but none you wouldn't pick over the dull, soulless life you had being back in your hometown, a small village with just over 10,000 people in it.

It doesn't matter now anyways, since everything is just a mere painful reminder of what was.

You squint your eyes when your bedroom door slightly opens, the light from the corridor startling your eyes for the first few seconds.

"Soonyoung.." you groan at your brother, who's eyes curiously peek at you through the small gap. His dark orbs almost disappear when he smiles at you sweetly. He closes the door behind him after stepping into your room, scanning the bedroom for a second before his gaze fixes back on you. You can tell he has something in that head of his, a small smile tugging on his lips before letting his body dip into your mattress.

A small groan escapes his mouth, and he crawls next to your body. "Are you all ready?" he asks, his finger swiping up on his phone to unlock it before tapping away vigorously. You turn your head slightly to look at his face.

"Ready? Ready for what exactly?" you frown.

The tip of his tongue sticks out while he's focussed on the screen in front of him. He inhales and turns it off with the click of a button, the phone falling flat against his chest before he looks back at you.

His cheeks seem to grow in size when he gives you a sweet smile. "Hanging out with some friends, wanna come with?"

You respond by quickly shaking your head with a subtle frown on your face. Soonyoung gives you a loud whine, throwing his head back into one of your pillows. Once he started whining you knew it was basically over for you. Stubbornness was a family trait your brother excelled at way better than you.

"Get up, you're going with me wether you like it or not." he gets up from your bed and smoothes some of the wrinkles in his oversized shirt, waiting till you follow him.

You sigh and get up, seeing how his face lights up when you do, except you know there wasn't any way getting out of this anyway.

A part of you feels excited to do something again after so many months of moping and numbing brain rot, but you would never admit that to him.

Soonyoung can't help feeling glee as you two walk together to one of his usual hang spots. As an older brother he knows all too well how down you've been feeling since being back in your village, not really knowing how to get you out of this rut he figured it'd be a good start to get you to socialize again, even if it was just his friends. But knowing some of them, he cant help wondering if he's making the right choice.

You two approach the small park around the corner of your street, walking way back to a graffiti covered metal dome that has been the village's hang spot for as long as you could remember. The dome is a modest 2 meters wide having built in seats, with a wide opening in the front so it isn't completely secluded from people walking through the park. Yet, the dark sky and late night breeze prevented many people from strolling around these days.

"Nyoung!" you recognize the voice calling your brother. The two of you approach, and you recognize one of the two people sitting in front of you as Joshua, who's been his friend for a few years.

You've only seen him a handful of times before, but he always had a sweet smile on his face whenever he saw you.

You make eye contact with the other guy, and you try not to think about how stunningly attractive he is, with long, dark hair falling to his shoulders and messy bangs that fall into his big eyes. He sits with his left ankle tucked under his right thigh, his right foot resting on the cigarette bud covered stone floor.

By his demeanor you could tell he wasn't into the idea of a random girl joining them. His eyes fall on you for a few seconds looking unfazed, and there’s a glint of annoyance rooted behind them.

He slowly changes his gaze to Soonyoung, giving your brother an acknowledging nod. 

"I brought my little sister!" you hear your brother say excitedly, his loud voice echos though the park as he places a hand on top of your head. You move away from his touch, hissing at him quietly.

Joshua gives you a warm smile. "So nice to see you again y/n! How long has it been, two years?" he purses his lips a little as to think if it's actually been that long. You nod. "Yes. Nice to see you, Joshua." you smile, feeling a little awkward standing in front of the two guys.

"This is Jeonghan," your brother says, pointing to the guy you deemed more unlikable by the second. You look back at him briefly, his features way too soft and pretty for a guy.

"He used to go to the same primary school as us, but I didn't know him back then as he was a few years above me." Jeonghan looks at you carefully, before lifting his hand and bringing a joint to his lips that you hadn't seen before. He takes a slow drag, his chest expanding as the smoke fills his lungs.

Soonyoung continues, "We met over a year ago at Joshua's place."

Jeonghan exhales the smoke, the strong smell of weed filling your nostrils. He takes his eyes off you to pass the joint to Joshua, and you feel slightly annoyed that he's being so aloof.

Joshua accepts the cigarette, using it to point at the empty seat next to him. "Chan's is on his way, something about his shitty car breaking down." he chuckles.

Your brother laughs loudly at the thought of his friend’s car breaking down again. He takes a seat on Joshua's left, the last spot being on the far right, next to Jeonghan, who's knee is covering half of the seat. You're positive he's not this dense, and assume he's purposely pretending not to notice while keeping his comfortable position.

Joshua however, seems to catch on, and stands up quickly, grabbing your elbow softly and having you sit next to your brother. He squirms in the far right seat, forcing Jeonghan to put down his knee, earning a blank stare from his friend.

You're still next to him, but feel grateful for Joshua's little gesture. Soonyoung reveals a small bottle of vodka from the pocket of his jacket, smiling while twisting open the lid and taking a big gulp. He groans in your ear, which makes you give him a displeased look before you chuckle.

You see Joshua's hand holding the joint up for you, and he gives your brother a quick look to make sure this is okay.

Your brother would usually make a point of this, scowling you for doing things you shouldn't as any brother would, but he's way too happy about you coming along he gives his friend the green light– not that you would listen to him if he didn't anyways.

You gladly take the lit joint, curious eyes on you while you put the tip to your lips and inhale deeply. The guys hold their breath, as to expect for you to cough like a fool, which you obviously don't.

The smoke blows in the air, quickly disappearing while the drug makes quick work in your body. Joshua laughs. "Don't remember this side to you at all." he tells you, and you stifle a laugh before taking another hit.

The revving sound of a car catches you all off guard, the three faces turning to see a car parked in the distance with its bright headlights shining.

"Shit, is that Chan?" Soonyoung shouts, jumping up from his seat when he sees his friend emerge from the expensive looking car. He spares no time, running in his direction while you hear Joshua drag out a long 'wow' before making his way there as well.

Chan used to be your classmate for years back when you were younger, and you knew him pretty well since he was so close with your brother. You remember walking back home from school a handful of times with him and your brother, his overly excited personality matching Soonyoung's like no one else could.

You stare at the abandoned joint, feeling a little tense now you're alone with Jeonghan. You hear Chan boast loudly in the background with his friends excitedly talking over each other.

"You’re hogging." Jeonghan says, and you turn to look at him before handing the cigarette back to him. He mumbles a quick 'thanks' before taking a hit, leaning back against the cold metal wall behind him.

"You two don't seem related at all." he then says, catching you off guard. You stay quiet while your lips pout ever so little, but Jeonghan can tell he's getting a reaction from you. What does that even mean?

He flicks some ash on the floor before continuing. "Soonyoung's so fun and loud," he fights a smile, looking at the frown appearing between your brows. "And you're, well..." he shrugs before lighting the unlit joint, the light from the fire illuminating his pretty face.

Your jaw clenches. "I'm what?" you say, fighting the urge to roll your eyes at him. Jeonghan happily takes another drag, not sparing you another look.

"Never mind." he lets out a small laugh, clearly amused at riling you up with such few words between the two of you. You wonder why Soonyoung is friends with such a prick.

The both of you look up at the approaching figures, their talking getting louder by the second as the three of them get closer.

When your brother takes a seat next to you again you visibly relax in your seat, his shoulder leaning into you comfortably. Chan gives you a big smile when greeting you, saying how it's been so long since you last saw each other and asking you some questions about your year abroad.

"Hyung! what do you think?! Ditched my old ride." he dangles his shiny car key in front of Jeonghan, squatting down after the eldest grabs the object for close inspection, cooing at him approvingly.

You spend a good chunk of the night caught up in conversation with Joshua, boding over having lived in the same country and how much you both miss it. You find yourself laughing a lot after that, the jokes and stories between your brother and his friends was distraction you much needed.

Like always, your lightweight of a brother ends up too drunk out of his mind after drinking barely half of the small bottle he carried, and Dino fights to jerk the glass from his stubborn fingers.

Soon after some protests you manage to take your brother home, rejecting Dino's offer to drop you off since you lived so close.

That night you lay in bed replaying the night in your head, your heart feeling full and content. The warm burn in your chest is something you haven't felt a long time, and even though it was only a short meeting you live the following days in ecstasy, high on this happiness making the meaningless days maybe not so meaningless.

Your brother's little mission to get you out more continues two weeks later, the both of you inside of his car on the way to Joshua's place to 'pick up something very quickly' as your brother had put it. You were supposed to go see some movie Soonyoung hadn't stopped talking about, promising you it would be worth it.

You weren't in the mood at all, even after you had a nice time a few weeks ago–that was two whole weeks ago. Today, you found yourself back dreading leaving your room again, but you promised.

"Wait here while I run upstairs," Soonyoung tells you before quickly disappearing to god knows where. You two just emerged from the corridor of the house, standing in the cozy living room with two pair of eyes on you.

Soft music plays on the tv screen, and you're hit by the strong smell of weed. The smoke hangs in the air, visibly dancing against the ceiling above.

Of course Jeonghan's here, giving you a blank stare before focussing on rolling his joint again. He has his long hair in a low ponytail, with loose strands of his bangs framing his delicate face. You can't help wanting to tuck the heaps of hair behind his ear, needing to see that beautiful face without any obstruction of view.

You've never seen the other guy before, but he shares the same odd look in his eyes, almost fully hiding behind the frame of his glasses. He stays like that for a second before giving you a small nod, his lips slowly curling up into a charming smile.

"Soonyoung's sister." he says. You hum softly, returning the smile he's giving you. "I'm Wonwoo." he tells you. His voice is deep, and you can't help but wonder what else that mouth can do. Your brother seems to have a knack of only befriending hot people.

"Does she ever dress like a girl?" Jeonghan mumbles, leaning back into the leather sofa before licking the seal of his rolling paper. He makes direct eye contact with you, and you stifle a loud breath.

Ass. Your face visibly shows your annoyance, and you're almost able to push away the thought of how attractive he looks wetting the paper with his dirty, witty tongue. Besides, what's wrong with your outfit? It’s fall and your oversized hoody-jeans combination is very on trend. It's street style.

"Aren't you basically wearing the same outfit, hyung?" Wonwoo comments, giving the older boy a quick look. Jeonghan rolls his eyes and sighs.

"Alright, nuisance. Stop standing there and sit down already." Jeonghan tells you, throwing the joint down on the table in front of him. You frown for a second before shaking your head.

"Soonyoung should be back soon." you explain, playing with the hem of your sweater. Wonwoo chuckles before speaking. "That should take a while, those two never follow through after seeing each other."

Jeonghan hums, smiling a little at the thought of his friends. Within seconds the smile turns into a taunting grin. "Or maybe he just wants to get rid of you?" he cocks his eyebrows up, licking his lips while he observes you.

You roll your eyes. Way to make me feel bad. You already feel like a drag having your brother putting in an effort to make you feel better. Him pointing it out didn't really help calm down your wandering thoughts.

"Anyways," Wonwoo says, catching on to the dynamic quickly. He pats the seat next to him. "You can add some songs to the queue if you want," he hands you his phone after you sit down next to him. Your hands touch for less than a second, but the action has your cheeks feeling hot. You both chuckle.

Jeonghan curses softly, grabbing the joint he discarded moments before and breaking his own promise of saving it for later. He really did find you irritating. He adored Soonyoung, so how could his sister, his own flesh and blood be so different from him? How could you lack all composure and walk around with this unlikable energy surrounding you?

"Will you be at the party this weekend?" Wonwoo asks, looking at you as you hand him back his phone. Shit, you almost forgot. The birthday party your brother is throwing for Minghao.

"Um," you bite your bottom lip, figuring you would be there regardless if you wanted to or not since the party will be held at your own home. "I guess so." you nod.

It takes another thirty minutes before your brother finally comes down, a happy smile plastered on his face like usual.

"Took you long enough." Jeonghan says, straightening up as if he can't wait to watch you leave. Soonyoung chuckles, shrugging. "You know how it is," he says before looking at you. "Thanks for entertaining her." he smiles and looks at the two guys sitting beside you.

Jeonghan grins. "Of course, shes quite the antic you know." he drips with sarcasm, a glint of amusement behind his eyes while making eye contact with you. You flash him a big smile. "I always am with likable people like you." Jeonghan flashes a smile right back at you.

The party is only two days later, with heaps of people showing up at your house to celebrate Minghao's surprise party. You really couldn't hide away in your room, and a part of you doesn't want to. The only thing you dreaded this night was having to see Jeonghan.

Luckily for you he minds his business, happily chatting with a group of friends and a full glass of booze in his hand. The alcohol is flowing, and you manage to contain the amount of drinks you consume, not wanting to do something you would regret later with your brother's friends around.

To your dismay your brother leaves your side after a few shots, running around socializing like his life depended on it. You aren't alone for long, seeing a tall figure approaching you from the corner of your eye.

When you look up, you're not surprised to see Wonwoo standing in front of you with an awkward smile on his face. He carries a shot glass in each hand, holding up one for you. You gladly accept it, thanking the older guy with a happy look on your face.

He puts the glasses together, locking eyes with you. "I'm happy to see you." he tells you before chuckling shyly. You grin at him. It's cute watching him act like this.

"Me too." you smile, your eyes shrinking in size. You bring the glass to your lips, throwing your head back as the cold liquid pours down your throat. Wonwoo hisses at the bitter taste, his face grimacing in pain. "Shit." he groans, and you keep yourself from reacting to the lewd sound.

"You're not really a party person, are you?" he asks, grabbing your glass and putting both down on the table next to you. He can't be more wrong. "I like parties," you look away to think for a second. "But it's kind of weird to drink a lot around my brother." You look back into his eyes, swallowing a lump in your throat when you see how intense his gaze is.

He nods understanding. "You really don't have to hold back with us." he chews on his plump lips. "You're our friend now too." You smile warmly at his words, and he might be right.

"Thank you Wonwoo." you catch yourself talking like you're on a mission, like you're trying to get him in your bed later tonight, his big hands exploring your whole body. You give him sweet eyes and your tongue glides over your bottom lip innocently. Shit, maybe the shot was already too much.

Wonwoo chuckles again, catching onto your subtle hints without you even knowing. You both take another shot when the birthday boy comes by refusing to leave you empty handed. 

You spend the next half hour talking to him about whatever, both feeling the effect of the booze in your bodies. You audibly make him laugh out loud, his booming cackle muffled by the music. You know you've moved past tipsy when your vision is getting blurry. And you find yourself ignoring the people partying around you.

He ends up inching closers to you, his face awfully close to yours when he looks down at you to talk directly into your ear. You pick up what he puts down, his tone matching yours resulting into playful banter.

"You look really nice today." he moves his eyes down to your body. You were wearing a long sleeved dark crop top paired with a short, tight denim skirt. "Didn't know you were hiding all that." you giggle at him, hitting your first against his chest softly. "Wonwoo..." you say shyly. He looks back into your orbs, gently biting the inside of his lip unknowingly.

"Well you look really good as well." you tell him, looking at him through your lashes. Wonwoo hums approvingly before grinning at you. "Jihoon is looking for you." you both look up to see Jeonghan standing next to you with bored look on his face.

"Ah," Wonwoo says, looking around for a second. Jeonghan doesn't say anything, but just makes eye contact with him. The taller one nods. "Right." he says before giving you a smile and turning to look for his friend.

You glare at Jeonghan, who's eyes glide back to meet yours with the same bored look as before. "You're lucky Soonyoung didn't see the both of you eye-fucking each other just now." his eyebrows slightly raise, his mouth agape. You exhale in annoyance. "We were just talking." you defend yourself, watching as he looks at you like you're the most disgusting thing he's ever seen.

"If you say so." he nods, clearly not convinced. "Don't talk to him again from now on." you snicker. You really don't see what the problem is, wanting nothing more than to put him in his place. "I'm not listening to you." you laugh, turning to get away from him.

Jeonghan grabs your wrist in his grip, not leaving you till you listen. "Yes you will." he says calmly, making you laugh again. He drops your wrist and gets closer to you, his lips inching into your ear. "Are you really that desperate?" he chuckles and shakes his head lightly, thinking of how unbelievable you are. You shudder at the feeling of his breath against your skin.

You purse your lips. "Get away from me." You look him up and down, expecting him to drop it and leave like you asked him, but he doesn't budge.

"You’re gonna drink some water and call it a night." he narrows his eyes at you, getting visibly annoyed at how difficult you're being. "You really are insufferable." you chuckle in amusement before rolling your eyes at him.

Jeonghan snickers, his jaw clenching. "Me? I'm the insufferable one?" he towers over you, nearing his face in front of you. You lean back, pressing your hands against his chest to push him off, but a sudden grip on your arm stops you.

"Hi guys." Joshua gives the both of you an over the top smile. "Can I talk to you guys somewhere? In private?" You exhale a loud breath, your night ruined within a few minutes. "Why? We're done he-" Jeonghan gets cut off by Josh. "Now." he presses, pulling you behind him as he walks to the nearest room.

Jeonghan sighs and follows along, entering a bedroom after his friend opens the door. He can tell it's yours by the pictures on your wall and the big bear plushy sitting on the neatly made bed.

The door closes when the three of you are all inside. "What the hell are you guys doing?" Joshua starts, eyeing you with a frown on his face. "You really want to throw a scene here?" he moves his face to look at Jeonghan.

"He started it." you say through gritted teeth, eyes nearing at Jeonghan. He glares at you. "I don't care, act like adults for gods sake." he shakes his head like a disappointed father, and you can't help rolling your eyes. "He can't tell me to leave in my own home." you argue, crossing your arms over your chest.

Joshua looks at the long haired boy. "Really? You can't tell her that." Jeonghan sighs in annoyance. "I wouldn't have to if you didn't send me over there in the first place." Your fists tighten in anger. Who were they to tell you what you could and couldn't do?

"If you all just mind your fucking business." normally you wouldn't have cursed at people you only met a few times before, but the alcohol in your body manifested in many different ways. "Maybe if you didn't whore around with your brother in the same room we would've." Jeonghan spits back at you.

Joshua curses under his breath when he remembers the time. "Shit, I have to get Minghao's present before its midnight," he sighs before nearing his index finger between you and Jeonghan. "Don't leave this room till you two are done. Fight, or make up, I really don't care."

With that he leaves the two of you alone in your room. You uncross your arms, dropping them down next to your tense body. You can feel Jeonghan's eyes on you, but you purposely ignore his gaze.

There's a few seconds of silence between the two of you before you decide Joshua should be long gone, and you turn to grab the door knob to get away from the prick as soon as possible.

The door only opens a few inches before it gets pushed back into the doorframe with a loud bang. You do a 180 turn, ready to verbally assault the boy who's hand you see are now next to your head, resting against the door. He puts his other hand on the other side of you when you try to move away from you. He has you trapped between him and the surface. There's only a small distance between your bodies now, and your eyebrows inch closer while you give him your nastiest glare.

"You heard Joshua. No leaving till we're done fighting or make up," he nears his face closer to yours, a cocky smile on his face before he whispers. "So which one will it be?"

"Fuck you." your lip quivers in anger, ready to push against his chest roughly. When your hands push off against his defined chest he catches your wrists in his grip, easily getting closer again while pinning them to your side against the wall.

A painful hiss leaves your lips, closing your eyes for a short second as he tightens his grip. "Oh you would rather fuck me?" you hear a laugh follow, and your eyes open to meet an amused look on his face. "You could've just asked me instead of putting on this fake little act of hating me."

You pull your arms, but he's stronger than you. "Act?" you can't help but chuff. There's no way in hell he can be serious.

"Oh come on y/n, don't act like you aren't practically foaming at the mouth every time you see mee." you notice the row of white teeth as he smiles cockily, those damn dark hairs falling perfectly into his eyes.

You pull your arms again, and he finally lets go of you, but his body doesn't move back. "And what's your excuse, huh?" you're the one moving closer to him now, standing on your toes as to assert some kind of dominance over him. He's still way taller than you.

Jeonghan chuckles. "I have none." he peers down at you, his expression almost curious, patiently waiting what you'll say next.

You frown, slowly sinking down onto both feet again. You look away, and don't say anything after that. The wheels in your head spin vigorously, what is he implying?

Then, he catches you off guard by tugging your jaw carefully between his thumb and index finger, and you release a breath you didn’t even know you were holding. He lifts your head a little so you're looking back at him again. You can tell something has shifted between the both of you, the energy between you two feeling a different kind of heavy than before.

Jeonghan hums approvingly when you don't fight him, slowly moving his hand from your jaw down to to your throat. He wraps his pale fingers around your hot skin, pushing you back against the door with his hand.

"Cat’s got your tongue?" Jeonghan whispers, a glint of amusement behind his hooded eyes. He then presses his soft lips against your jaw, a smirk tugging on his lips while he preps small kisses on the skin.

He notices how shallow your breathing has become, warmth pooling in his chest at the result of his own actions. A gasp leaves your lips when he pushes his fingers into the sides of your throat, not leaving you much room to move anymore.

"Jeonghan..." you growl, closing your eyes. The slight pressure on your jugular leaves you feeling lightheaded in the best way possible. Your hands find the fabric of his shirt, fisting it between your fingers, and softly pulling to try and get his body against yours. "So impatient..." he mumbles against your skin, nibbling right below your jaw. "Want oppa to touch you, hm? Tell oppa how much you've been wanting him to touch your whore body." Your face goes red in embarrassment, his words flying straight to your lonely core.

"Please..." you whisper, opening your eyes to see how he has you pinned agains the door. Jeonghan hums. "You can do better that that, no?" he chuckles, resting his lips against your burning skin as to wait for you to plead again.

You grab the wrist he's using to choke you, moaning softly at the intoxicating feeling. "Hurry." you tell him, curious on what he'll do next. A part of you hopes he gives you what you want, to choke you out in your bedroom with the threat of other people being able to hear you on your mind.

Jeonghan does what you expect him to do, tightening his grip on you while moving his lips from your skin to look at you, your eyes filling up with tears from the pleasurable pain.

You moan again, your mouth agape with a content smile on your lips. Jeonghan bites his lip. "Fuck, you're enjoying this aren't you?" he laughs, sounding like straight music for your ears.

You hear the lock of your door clicking before he removes his hand from your throat. "Fine by me." he replaces his hand with his hungry lips, kissing and sucking at your neck. One of his hands snakes under your skirt, and you flinch when he presses a finger against your panties, pressing up against your slit.

“Were your panties this soaked the whole time?" he laughs before gnawing your skin, sucking deep-red colored love bites into the surface. His finger moves teasingly up and down, the touch way too soft for your liking. "Jeonghan..." you plead again, bucking your hips against his finger to find some kind of relief. The older boy hisses in annoyance, his free hand pushing your hip back to keep you from moving.

"Tell me." he says, and you bite your lip in frustration when his finger leaves you entirely. "Oppa..." you pout, your breathing heavy. Jeonghan kisses down to your collar bone. "Please oppa..." your cheeks are red, but you don't know if it's from embarrassment or need.

"What baby?" his finger finds your wet panties again, pressing the digit against your throbbing clit. You moan at the contact, throwing your head back at the small touch. Jeonghan laughs at you. "Please touch me." you say, your body burning up from the teasing.

Jeonghan hums. "I am touching you." he smiles, his face moving up to meet yours again. You see the cocky expression on his face, amusement written all over him.

You whine with need and he chuckles before pressing a lingering kiss on your lips, looking at your face through his long eyelashes. "Want you- aah!" you gasp when he presses his finger harder against your clit. "T-to fuck me," you exhale a shaky breath. "Please." you look at him, your eyes watery and filled with lust.

Jeonghan hums again. "That wasn't to hard now was it?" he chuckles. He moves your panties to the side to sink two fingers deep into your desperate hole. "Fuck..." you moan, your head dropping down against his shoulder.

He moves his fingers at a steady pace, loving the way his fingers force your tight walls open. He can't help wondering how it would feel to have his cock there instead, contracting around his size uncomfortably.

You shudder when his thumb finds his way back on your clit, circling the sensitive bundle of nerves and crushing his fingers even more.

Jeonghan kisses you again, his tongue darting against yours desperately. You whimper against his lips. He's a damn good kisser, your mouths molding like they have always belonged together. You feel his bulge press into you, eagerly waiting.

He pushes another digit inside easily, your slick already finding its way dripping down his skillful fingers. "Such a needy pussy, baby," he groans, his plump lips pushing against your harshly. "Sucking my fingers in so deep, hm? So scared I'll leave you empty and desperate aren't you?" he chuckles, pumping his fingers into you at a set pace. You nod, your hands moving up to hold his neck for support.

You feel like you're not in control of your body anymore, bucking your hips into his touch shamelessly to try to feel him deeper.

"Please fuck me- hmph!" all air leaves your lungs when he curls his fingers inside of you, and one of your hands grab onto his hair tightly. "Need you to fuck me now." you breathe.

Jeonghan chuckles and presses his finger against your clit one last time, earning him a whine, before pulling out of you. You whine at the loss of his fingers, but aren't able to give it another thought as Jeonghan drags you to your bed, pushing you down on your back hastily.

When you watch stripping you of your clothes, you can’t help suppressing the grin wanting to sneak up on your face. You think about how the same boy who couldn’t stand to look or talk to you is now stripping you down like you were the only thing that could satisfy the growing fire in his chest. His lingering fingers feel hot on your skin, tracing your lines and watching the curve of your breasts as he leaves you in nothing but your underwear.

He swiftly removes his shirt, throwing it to the side. You can’t help admiring each other like this, almost completely exposed to each other. His body is slender but toned, with a trail of dark hairs peeking right above his jeans. “You’re so hot.” Jeonghan bites his darkened lips, putting both hands on your legs while standing in front of you. His touch is warm and intoxicating. He pushes your legs open a little, humming when seeing your wet panties again.

“Could use this pussy the whole night if I wanted to and you would let me, wouldn’t you?” he chuckles, and you gasp when he slaps your cunt harshly. “Where did that mouthy girl I know go, huh?” he grins at you, crawling on top of your body and trapping you under his weight.

You moan in bliss when he starts grinding his crotch into yours, the rough fabric of his jeans dragging against your skin. His hands cup your face, looking at you as he makes you wither in pleasure. He leaves a wet kiss on your cheek before crashing his lips into yours again, grinding slowly while he takes his time devouring you. Your hands find themselves on the small of his back, feeling how his skin burns under your touch.

Jeonghan groans against your lips when you push your hips up against his, crossing your legs around his body to get him closer. You start grinding against him, needing some kind of relief sooner or later. Jeonghan pushes his face in the crook of your neck, moaning into your skin softly.

“T-take off your jeans.” you stammer, uncrossing your legs from him and closing your eyes for a second to regain composure. You feel him smiling against you. “You can wait, whore.” he leaves wet kisses in your neck, and you bite your lip at the sensitivity. “Fuck you.” you mumble, breathing faster when he presses into you harder.

“Bet I can make you cum just by grinding into you like this.” Jeonghan mumbles, slowing down his movement. You sigh, closing your eyes. “I bet you can’t.” you tell him, crossing your legs around him again, knowing he’ll try anyways. “Hm? Why?” he looks down at you. You don’t answer, pressing your body against him harder.

Jeonghan chuckles. “Your little fingers can’t make you cum?” he grabs your wrists in his grip, pinning them back against the bed while he gives you another knowing look. You feel your cheeks turning a few shades darker, avoiding eye contact with him. You groan when he moves against you at a faster pace, his jeans pressing against your core, leaving you clenching around nothing.

“Need oppa to make you cum, don’t you?” he looks at how you squirm under him, body moving against his with need. He finally goes faster, biting his lip at the friction. “You think Wonwoo would be able to handle this needy pussy of yours?” he groans out, tightening his grip on your wrists. You moan in pleasure, pressing your head back into the pillow. “Don’t think so… n-need oppa to take care of you, hm? Fuck…”

“Jeonghan…” you moan again, bucking your hips into his desperately while he moves against you.

You feel yourself coming closer to your orgasm, the feeling in your stomach growing by the second. You’re overwhelmed by the pleasure you’re receiving, usually not able to orgasm when you’re by yourself. It’s almost painful, and you can’t help the moans spilling past your lips when Jeonghan moves even harder, pressing against your core harshly.

“That’s it baby, almost there…” he nibbles the skin under your ear. “Wait for me.” he tells you, squeezing his eyes shut. But you can’t hold back, moaning loudly when coming undone under Jeonghan. Your hips spasm, overwhelmed by pleasure as you ride out your high.

Jeonghan clicks his tongue in annoyance, letting go of you completely as he looks down at your tired body. “Now what did I tell you?” he sighs. Your wrist sting from his touch, your chest heaving up and down.

He undoes the button of his jeans, the sound of the zipper muffled by the loud music playing outside. He steps out of his jeans, and you see the big bulge hiding inside of his boxers. There’s a wet spot on the fabric.

Jeonghan pulls you to the edge of the bed by your thighs, kneading the skin softly before finally getting rid of his final piece of clothing. His cock springs free, hard and angry, the tip already wet with pre-cum.

“So selfish, never fucking listening to me.” He pulls your panties down, exposing your sticky hole to him. He discards them on the floor and props your feet on the bed, your knees up for him.

He crawls back on top of you, his thighs pressing into yours, pushing your legs closer to your body. His hands hold himself up on the bed, looking down at you with a grin on his face. You feel the side of his dick against your core, and see how long and girthy it looks through the gap between your bodies.

You bite your lip, already feeling yourself clenching at the though of having him inside of you. It’s been a while since your last time, and you’re unsure if you could even take his length inside of you. He’s bigger than the other guys you’ve had, and it scared you a little.

Jeonghan uses one of his hands to grab his cock, aligning it with your sensitive pussy. “You ready?” he asks you, looking at you. You nod at him, earning a chuckle from him.

He pushes the tip in slowly, inhaling a sharp breath. You tug your bottom lip between your teeth, the nice stretch already having you hungry for more.

He goes a little deeper, and your hand grips his arm tightly. “Jeonhan…” you groan, expecting him to wait for you to adjust to his size. Instead, he ignores your subtle plead, pushing in deeply till he bottoms out.

“That’s it baby… take it all like a good girl..” he groans, pushing his other hand back into the mattress. You moan when your pussy contracts around him as a plea for help, trying to get used to him. You make eye contact when he stills for a moment, finally allowing you to catch your breath before he plunges into you like a madman.

When he finally does so, you moan loudly, squeezing your hand tighter around his arm. Jeonghan fucks you quickly, chasing his release.

You both moan, and he lowers onto his elbows to get closer to you. You feel his lips pecking your cheek sweetly, while his cock shows you no mercy, only seeming to speed up thrusting into you.

“‘Rpussy’s soo tight..” he slurs, groaning lowly. His cock splits you open so nicely, and you’re even able to feel the veins of his dick dragging against your tight walls.

He snakes one arm below your waist, holding your hip tightly while his other hand grabs the back out your neck. His feet press into the floor, and he fucks into you even deeper after the slight change in angle. “Fuck!” you curse, feeling tears build up in your eyes. He moves his hand to fist your hair, holding onto it tightly while moving his hips into yours deeply.

“y/n?” you hear a knock on the door, eyes widening when you recognize the deep voice immediately. “J-jeong-“ you whisper, pushing your hand against your mouth to keep you from making any sounds.

Jeonghan grunts, moving his hand from your hair to pin your hand to your side. You swallow a moan when you hear the doorknob ratte, Wonwoo trying to enter after not getting a reply. He knocks again when it doesn’t open.

You quickly press your other hand back against your agape mouth, giving Jeonghan a glare. He glares back at you, his eyebrows furrowed in anger. The hand around your waist leaves, roughly pulling it away from you again. he grabs both your wrists in one of them, pinning them above your head tightly. His free hand goes down your body, pressing against your clit tauntingly.

“Y/n-“

“F-fuck!” you moan loudly, groaning after. You’re sure Wonwoo heard, because after your loud moaning you hear nothing anymore. Jeonghan chuckles, moving two fingers against your clit. “F-fuck you…” you moan, moving your body against him desperately. Jeonghan hums, biting his lip to keep himself from moaning at the feeling of your cunt trying to crush him with every thrust.

You feel another orgasm coming, and you’re sure he’s close too. “I-i’m almost…” you stutter, pushing your head back into your pillow. Jeonghan removes his fingers from you, letting go of your wrists while pulling out of you. You whine at him, the nearing orgasm washing away. Jeonghan’s chest rises quickly, looking at you for a second before flipping you over on your stomach. He pulls you by your hips, having you on all fours in front of him.

His body meets yours, and you fist your mattress when feeling him enter you again. Jeonghan moans loudly, gripping your hips and slowly thrusting inside of you.

The angle makes you cry out in pleasure, the tip of his cock slamming into the sweet spot you didn’t even know you had. You’re overwhelmed by pleasure, struggling to keep yourself up for much longer. Tears fall from your eyes before you weakly fall down into the mattress, your left cheek flat on the bed. Jeonghan puts his hand in your hair again, his face buried against your ear while pressing his body down into yours.

He picks up the pace, his thighs slamming against your raised ass quickly. More tears fall from your eyes, leaving you a moaning mess underneath him. “Jeong-h-han…” you stammer, squeezing your eyes shut. He grunts into your ear, his breaths loud. You’re so close, your pussy contracting out of your control.

“What? Isn’t this what you wanted?” he says, pushing your ass down so you’re laying flat on the bed. He grabs your throat with his free hand, his grip tight on your neck like before. “Gon-Gonna cum, baby. Gonna cum inside of your pussy, okay?” he breathes against your ear. You let out an inaudible sound before giving him a small noise of approval.

You push your ass up into him, the lack of air pushing you over the edge completely. You cry out one last time when you cum around his cock, groaning at the amazingly painful convulsion around him. “Fuck!” Jeonghan moans before you feel him twitch inside of you, filling you up with his cum. He rides out his high, his thrusts getting slower before he pulls out of you.

He lets go of you, letting himself fall down next to you. You close your eyes while trying to catch your breath.

You feel his hand stroke your back, his warm fingers leaving a trail on your skin. You groan softly and turn your body to meet his. He’s on his side watching you, his hand moving to cup your cheek.

You give him a small smile, shivering when you feel the autumn cold suddenly hitting you. Jeonghan gets up, putting the soft covers over your body and tucking you in tightly. You watch as he gets dressed, gliding his hand through the wet hair on his head.

He takes a hair tie out is his pocket, putting his hair in a low ponytail before sitting down on the edge of your bed and tucking a piece of hair behind your ear.

“You’re going?” you ask, earning a nod from the boy. “Yes, Minghao won’t let me live it down if I’m not there at twelve.” You chuckle, nodding softly.

Jeonghan gets up, looking back at you before opening the door. “Might want to lock it before Wonwoo finds you laying here with my cum inside of you.” he grins, giving you one last look before closing the door behind him.

Maybe living in a small village isn’t so bad after all.