Peteparkersbug - "and I Thought I Was Yours Forever..."

Happy 6/16 :)

I want to see an AU crossover of Superbat and Stony where Clark CANNOT STAND Steve. Like literally can. not.

Don’t get me wrong. I love Steve. I just think it’d be fucking hilarious that Clark hates him and it never get fully explained as to why. And even more hilarious that his midwestern manners would make it where he can’t be rude. But every time Steve starts talking Clark is like OMG can I please just get out of this conversation? Is that a tornado in the arctic? Better go save them Polar Bears. And Bruce knows his husband hates Steve, he just doesn’t really understand why when for all intents and purposes they should be best buddies on paper. But every time he asks Clark about it, he gets an answer that’s even more ludicrous and unhinged than the last.

“The grandpa jacket, Bruce! It pisses me off!”

Goggling, “YOU have an opinion about fashion?”

“AND HE WAS DRINKING A PISTACHIO FRAPPACHINO! With NO WHIPPED CREAM!”

and on the flip side, Steve just absolutely loves Clark. Loves him. Thinks he’s like the best thing in the world, wants to talk about about Justice, truth and the American way all day. Like oh yes! I’d love to go meet them for dinner, I’ve been meaning to ask Clark his opinions on whether blackberries make a good pie filling and if he’d be interested in shooting laser beams at me while I train to keep sharp. And Tony’s like sure honey whatever.

Meanwhile Tony and Bruce are like 100% aware of this ongoing dynamic and talk to each other about literally all the time but don’t say or do anything to patch it up. Bruce because his husband will absolutely withhold sex if he brings it up and he’s only human, not fucking his drop dead gorgeous husband as often as possible would be an actual crime!! And Tony just because he’s a shit that loves the chaos.

Jason Todd Red Hood: Outlaws #20

The fucking BEAUTY of DC x Marvel crossovers where Tony and Bruce are old, sassy friends who get together for a gossiping brunch and kid picture sharing.

Meanwhile Clark and Steve are acting like suburban white husbands; That specific brand where they'll diss eachother while still being chummy because their husbands are friends.

It's all theatre and scripts, thought. Steve heard Clark say Bruce's suit is more efficient and vowed to rip his head off with a smile on his face.

" We got a stand up comedian over here! What are you gonna say next, that he has better fashion sense? No offence, Bruce."

This is such an ordinary occurrence that Bruce simply shrugs, " I know, Steve."

And Clark smiles, wolf sharp, no friendliness, " Are you trying to bite the ice again, Grandpa? Don't make me come there and do what Tony couldn't. No offense, Tones."

" None taken, wonder boy."

" Oh you're such a joke." " I'll put you in that frozen grave you crawled outta." " I'd love to see you try, you fuckin' air rat" and just laughing while Bruce and Tony exchange food recipes in the background.

endless gifs of DICK GRAYSON 3/∞