Phattyboo90 - Mark's Club Watermelon - Tumblr Blog

Dude it is SO FUN and EXCITING to see a reoccurring reader. If you've commented a handful of times on an author's work, I guarantee that they recognize you. You can't imagine how many times I've excitedly informed my friends "the person with the funny cat image commented!" "- anon is back!!!!" and the friends've recognized who I was talking about because I talk about my commenters so often LOL. We love you all!!!

Adorbs

Imagine Nanami Kento waking up from anesthesia after surgery, his bleary and unfocused gaze landing on you (his wife) standing beside him and holding his hand in yours. You smile at him warmly, softly reassuring him that he's okay and that you're right here beside him as he stares at you silently.

Nanami looks down at your joined hands, his gaze seems to focus on the wedding band adorning his ring finger. He stares at it for a moment before looking back up at you.

"Who are you?" He slurs, his words sloshy and imprecise. So unlike him, and so very adorable. "Are you a nurse?"

You giggle at Nanami's question.

"No, I'm not a nurse."

Nanami seems puzzled at your response. His brows furrow as his fingers move against yours, thumb stroking across your knuckles in that gentle motion he always does to soothe you. Your smile widens. Looks like there are some things that even ketamine can't erase.

"Wow. You got the most gorgeous smile. Are you a model? You're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen in my whole life. You got really pretty teeth too..."

Kento's fingers tighten around yours, his voice falling into a groggy whisper.

"But...I think I'm married. We shouldn't be holding hands like this."

You bite your lip, fighting against the bubbling laughter in your throat and failing.

"O-Oh?"

Nanami nods, his expression shifting from one of appreciative awe to adorable seriousness.

"I want to be a good husband."

Well that just about melted your whole damn heart. Even the hospital staff in the background can't repress their "awww"s and "that's a keeper"s.

"Don't worry, you are a wonderful husband, Kento. I know that for sure."

He's confused again, those unfocused honey brown's searching yours, trying to figure out the situation as best as he can given the circumstances.

"How do you know?"

You raise your left hand, bringing it into his line of sight and wiggle your ring finger, the golden band surrounding it captures Nanami's attention in an instant.

"Because I'm your wife."

Nanami's eyes instantly grow wide, his expression morphing into one of childlike wonder.

"You're my wife?"

You laugh.

"Yes."

He squeezes your hand with a surprising amount of strength given that he was knocked out cold not that long ago.

"We're really married?"

"Yes."

"Wow..." Kento breathes, drifting off for a moment before asking you another question. "Have we kissed yet?"

His innocent yet hilarious question sends you into another fit of laugher.

"Y-yes! Many times."

Nanami rewards you with a dopey smile, his gaze so utterly loving, enchanted by your unrestrained joy.

"My wife." He murmurs adoringly, his fingers reaching up to caress your cheek.

"I love hearing you laugh." His palm cups your face. "You really are so beautiful. I hit the jackpot, didn't I?"

Grinning from ear to ear, you press a tender kiss to Kento's fingertips before guiding his hand back down to the bed.

"Alright sweetest man alive, you need to stop talking before you make every person in this room fall in love with you. I'm going to grab a snack for us for later. I'll be right back, okay?"

Kento nods.

"Okay. Can I get another kiss when you come back?"

The dedication I have for Zayne is a lot

Look at him!!!!

This!!!

can we discuss the feeling of disappointment when u find a fic with a black plus size reader but she’s sad through out most the fic and absolutely hates herself? like can plus size black women not be happy??? can plus size people in general not be happy and love their body??? i’ll wait for an answer…

This man knows he fine 🥵🤤

240616 JAEHYUN at PRADA Milan Fashion Week

© jaelentineboy : AlmightyDarling

Gelato is out please read this I promise you that you will be immersed. And follow @hazyhae her mind is incredible 🥰🥰🥰

gelato | lmk

plug!mark x fem!reader — friends to strangers to lovers ft. bestie renjun

summary: a high slip up cost you mark lee years ago, and you’ve spent years burying your memories of him ever since. the universe has other plans for you when your old friend starts a new career, smoking his way back into your life.

wc: 14.4k 18+ mdni

cw: angst, fluff, smut, smoking/weed use (do not interact if uncomfortable, seriously), a tiny bad trip, crying, dry humping, grinding, making out, fingering, unprotected pinv sex w pulling out, tenderrr love making, mutual pining, some jealousy, pet names: baby/love

“wait, that’s so good, what is this?” you take another drag of the joint your friend rolled to see if it would hit as smoothly as the first, and you’re pleased when the smoke goes down just right.

you look over to the man on the other side of the couch, frowning when you realize he isn’t paying attention. “jun?”

renjun looks up from his phone, eyes a little glossed over from his smoke session before you arrived. “what happened?”

you hand him the lit joint. “what did you put in that thing? it’s so good.”

he takes a long drag before grabbing a bag off of his coffee table and tossing it to you. “i know it’s good, i have good taste.”

you roll your eyes at this, studying the bag that landed on your lap. it’s from a brand unfamiliar to you, and you can’t seem to find where it lists the strain name.

“where did you get this? never seen this brand before,” you ask.

renjun hands the joint back to you. “this guy from our college started selling recently. we’ve got some mutual friends, so they recommended him. perfect timing, too.” all the good plugs in your area, including your regular, started moving to bigger cities to try and reach more clients, so you welcome the thought of a new go-to.

“do i know them?” you ask, knowing you share a lot of mutual friends.

“i’m not sure, but his name is mark.”

mark?

your heart drops at the familar name. there are so many of those in the world, but only one you know of from college.

“mark, like mark lee?” renjun raises an eyebrow at your reaction.

“yeah, i think so. do you know him?”

what renjun doesn’t know is your history with mark actually extends much further. “kind of.”

yeah, you know him. you knew him.

it all started your second year of high school, when your teacher assigned him as your seatmate. he was always kind, asking how your day was and lending you pens or textbooks when you forgot yours. it was always casual, but you remember the day things clicked for the two of you so vividly.

you were walking into class early, still a while before the teacher came in, your classmates’ animated chatter around you muffled by the music in your wired earphones. you put your stuff down, still trying to shake the last bit of sleepiness, when a figure came up to greet you.

“oh, shit!” their sudden appearance made you drop your phone, earphones yanked from your ears and phone, leaving the music to play out loud. the source of your surprise crouched down to pick up your phone, hitting pause on the music and standing up to reveal your seatmate.

“hey, i’m so sorry about that, didn’t mean to scare you,” mark sheepishly handed you your phone, subtly glancing around you to see if any of your classmates were startled. none of them seemed to care, thankfully.

you waved your hands at his embarrassment. “it’s okay, mark, i was so out of it.” he nodded and turned his attention back to your phone.

“wait, you like that song though?” his embarrassment turned into excitement as you nodded your head, having had it on repeat since it came out.

“yeah, do you?”

“dude.. i LOVE that song, do you listen to their other stuff too?” the little morning mishap had turned into an excited conversation about your shared music taste, continuing well into lunch after it was cut short by the teacher’s arrival.

bonding over shared music taste was just the beginning, and eventually you were attached at the hip, both of you finding it easy to fall into place next to each other. even when you two ended up in separate classes the following school year, your friendship only grew.

he made being his friend so easy, yet so difficult. you found your affections grew to be more than platonic, but how could you not? mark was good-looking with a boyish charm, kind to everyone, funny, and earnest, yet so incredibly humble.

you weren’t the only one who felt like this, though. mark was popular, and why wouldn’t he be? even if he was a little shy or awkward with people he didn’t know well, it just added to his charms. you had lost count of the amount of times he would be called by a random girl and come back with a guilty grimace at yet another instance of having to let someone down.

half of you admired them, wishing you had their same courage to tell mark your own feelings. but, as messed up as it was, the other half of you internally celebrated whenever mark came back with that somber expression, knowing you had the ability to change that.

whenever he was down, the two of you would go out for some gelato at the shop down the street from your school. you always said you’d treat him, but he would always pay, all sorrow wiped completely from his face. because of you. he always came back to you.

you were content being just his friend—his best friend. you continued being his best friend, graduating from high school and ending up at the same local college, still attached at the hip.

with a new setting came new people and new experiences, but there was always one constant, and that was mark lee. that first year was filled with him—planning your class schedules together, going to your respective clubs’ parties, dorm sleepovers; it felt like nothing could disturb the peace.

renjun hands you the joint and you take another hit, a comfortable silence between the two of you as you reminisce further, now starting to feel pangs in your heart.

one of those new experiences you had together came in the form of the drug you currently have in your hand, and it was also the last new experience you had together. the last of your firsts.

you and mark had never considered weed before, but going to college parties and its presence in some of your new friends’ lives had made you curious. you both agreed on wanting to try it together in a more controlled space, and one day you found yourself with him in your dorm, turning an unfamiliar device in your hand.

“is it super strong?” you asked mark nervously, as his senior at his club was the supplier.

“not sure, jae said pens don’t hit too crazy.” he took the pen from you, pressing the button on it experimentally. “he showed me how to do it, so i should probably go first..”

you nodded at this, observing him carefully as he brought it to his lips, pushing the button while sucking in. the pen lit up at the end, and you watched in fascination until you were interrupted by his harsh coughing, smoke flying out around him in a large cloud.

“oh my god, are you okay??” you rushed to get him some water, patting his back as he gulped it down and cleared his throat.

“y-yeah, i’m good.” you peered into his eyes to see them already slightly glossy, unsure if it was from all the coughing or if he was already feeling it. “i just took too much, i think. you try. but try just a little, okay? be careful..”

you took the pen from him nervously, bringing it to your own mouth as you emulated his earlier movements. his round eyes were trained on your every movement. you inhaled the smoke, and to your surprise, the weed didn’t taste anything like the strong scent coming from the back of the many parties you found yourselves at. it was pleasant and the tiniest bit sweet.

you blew the smoke out as mark watched you with his mouth hung open, in shock at how easily you handled it in comparison to his own attempt.

“dude, how did you do that?? you’re a natural!!” he exclaimed, somewhat feeling a sense of pride at his best friend’s weed affinity.

“i don’t know, i kind of just did it? maybe beginner’s luck,” you shrugged. filled with resolve, mark was determined to do it just as smoothly. after many attempts, the two of you laid on your dorm bed, staring at the ceiling as you felt yourselves sinking into your mattress, which felt softer than ever.

“you know what would hit right now?” mark asked, voice a little bit deeper and drawled out. you turned to look at him, only then realizing how close you were.

he looked back at you with a dopey smile. you somehow knew exactly what he was thinking. “gelato,” the two of you said in unison, laughter immediately bursting at the sync.

“the shop is closed.. but markie, what was in that pen?? that was soo much better than i thought weed would be.” if all weed was like that, maybe you’d be down for this stoner life.

mark made an unintelligible excited noise as he sprung up with a bright smile. “WAIT, i knew you would like this. when jaehyun showed me all the carts, i knew i had to get this one. guess what it’s called!”

you locked eyes just as you did before, thinking there was no way it was what you were thinking. mark’s anticipatory look told you it was.

“gelato.”

you gasped, throwing your hands over your mouth as mark nodded his head excitedly. “no fucking way.”

“no, seriously. isn’t that crazy??” again the two of you burst into laughter, your stomach hurting from how much funnier everything seemed to be. as the laughter died down, mark turned to you. “but really, you did so good today.”

you sat up on your bed at his tender voice, feeling slightly dizzy at the unfamiliar feeling of a high, finally getting a good look at mark in this state. he looked as good as ever, a now starting to blossom as he moved beyond the boyish charm.

“you really got it because you thought i’d like it?” you asked, feeling your heart swell a bit. you were so grateful to have a friend like him, to have him in your life.

“of course,” he answered, voice a bit too tender for your heart to take.

the words left your mouth faster than you could catch them. “that’s why i love you.” you slapped your hands over your mouth as you realized you just said.

“i love you, too..?” mark replied, trailing off at the end at your reaction. it was normal to exchange those kinds of words between best friends, but you meant it in a different way even if he didn’t know it. you couldn’t recover from your slip up, the weed hindering your ability to front in any way, mind going blank.

your hands were buried in your face as mark looked at you worriedly. he pried your hands from your face as you tried to hide your teary eyes. “wait, is everything okay?”

you just shook your head yes and turned from him, wanting to get away and act as if nothing happened. his grip was still tight around your wrists, and he was craning his neck to get a good look at you, only now seeing the unshed tears in your eyes.

“no, you aren’t okay, the weed might be too much from you,” mark said as he slowly got up to get his phone, probably to look up what to do when having a bad trip. as if possessed, you pulled him back, not wanting him to leave you.

“wait!” you grabbed him, and he stumbled back into, or onto you. you found yourself in a position doing nothing good for your heart, with mark hovering above you as you leaned on your pillows.

even after years of friendship, he would still sometimes get flustered with things like this, but to your surprise, he stayed still, deep, glossed over eyes locked on yours.

you couldn’t look away—you didn’t want to. you could get lost in those eyes, and you were. you were feeling all types of things you hadn’t felt before. you never allowed yourself to act on your crush, and the substance coursing through your veins was breaking down each mental barrier as the seconds passed.

you were close enough to kiss him—you wanted to. everything seemed to move in slow motion as his face got closer and closer, dark eyes now closing. you didn’t know if you were the one moving or if it was all a figment of your imagination, but the warmth on your lips told you it was all real.

mark’s lips brushed yours, a little unsure at first, but as you melted into him, his lips molded against yours in a way that had your body tingling all over. it felt so right. your heart was beating faster than it ever has, excitement now clouding your mind. does he feel the same way?

the kiss only turned into a full on make out session, the two of you going at it for who knows how long. breathless, you pulled away from him with a dreamy look in your eyes.

only he did not share the same look.

catching his breath and backing away slowly, his eyes were open wide as if he had just seen a ghost. “mark? are you o-”

“i’m so, SO sorry, dude. i-i don’t know why i did that.” he got off the bed completely, grabbing his jacket from your desk. your heart sank as you tried to force any words out.

“i have to go, but, um. i’ll text you. sorry..” was all he said before dashing out the door.

the silence was deafening as you sat there on your bed, all alone, heart heavy as you began to spiral.

it all felt so right for you, but did he not feel the same? you just didn’t know how to feel, your head starting to spin and your body feeling like it wasn’t yours. still so high, but now alone. the tears left your eyes in waves, and your sadness and shock eventually morphed into anger. how could he just leave you in this state?

his pen sat forgotten on your bed. you wanted to throw it straight into the trash, but you couldn’t, instead chucking it into some random drawer to try and give it back to him later.

you could say with confidence that this night was the worst of your life, ending in you crying yourself to sleep, but the aftermath was even worse. you never got to give it back; he never gave you the chance.

mark ignored your texts, avoided you in every space—he couldn’t even make eye contact with you. it hurt, and it felt like you had to start from scratch going into your second year of college.

he was your foundation, and without him it felt like your walls had crumbled. you didn’t have mark to rely on anymore, and everything around you for so long reminded you of that.

that is, until you met renjun.

you had met him in a random art class you decided to take, wanting to make sure you were in the part of campus furthest from where you knew mark would be. the two of you hit it off right away, and he introduced you to some of his friends who would end up being your closest college friends.

one by one, you started to overwrite your memories with mark. you had sworn off weed after that night as well, but you had given in after renjun expressed interest in trying it, but not alone.

you were not going to leave your friend alone in this experience, unlike somebody, and you were glad as it ended up in you and renjun becoming pretty avid stoners.

the memories of mark still stung, but you had enough fun to last a lifetime in college. after you graduated you and renjun stuck in your town, while your other friends moved away, but the love still remained. you were grateful that the universe gave you these friends, even if it had to take one from you first.

the joint has reached its end, and renjun is passed out on the couch, snoring lightly.

you’re fine, everything’s okay. the funny feeling in your chest lingers at the sound of his name, but everything’s okay.

you inspect the bag of weed one more time, finally finding the strain’s name in tiny font on the bottom of the package.

gelato.

you and renjun head to work the following day, rubbing sleep from your eyes. last night’s reminiscing affected you, whether or not you wanted it to.

you’re in between jobs right now, just wanting to take a break to figure out what you want to do. luckily for you, renjun’s cousin, kun, opened a branch of his restaurant down the block from you just a few months ago.

renjun was basically given the role of general manager and was more than happy to give you a job. despite only working there for a few months, you enjoyed it. the restaurant gave a homey feel with regular patrons who never caused any problems. the place was only really busy during peak lunch and dinner hours, but the pay is still fair enough.

the bell at the entrance rings, signaling the entrance of a customer, and you get up from your spot at one of the booths to greet them.

you stop in your tracks when you see who it is.

you must have manifested him too hard during your trip down memory lane, because in front of you stands the one who broke your heart all those years ago. mark lee.

how is it that you haven’t seen him in years, but he shows up this conveniently the second you start thinking about him?

he looks different—more mature. his dark hair is a little longer than how you know he used to prefer, strong features a little bit more rugged than you remember, yet still with a hint of that boyish charm he’d always had. did he grow a little taller?

you realize you’re staring, but he’s staring, too, seemingly just as shocked to be seeing you. you debate turning around and calling renjun to assist him, but you chide yourself at those thoughts.

you aren’t that brokenhearted 18-year old anymore. you are healed, and you are an adult with a job you need to do.

and renjun is on his lunch break, so you have no choice.

“hi, welcome! what can i get you?” you ask, putting on your best customer service voice.

“uh.. pick up order under the name donghyuck?” he says, a little bit of uncertainty laced in his response, maybe at you seemingly having no reaction to him or not remembering him.

donghyuck? you know donghyuck, a regular and friend of renjun who often orders take out. mark lee is definitely not donghyuck. the connection makes you curious, but not curious enough to ask.

“okay, give me one second to check.” you go to the back, hoping the chefs are done putting together the order, wanting this to be over as soon as possible. unfortunately, the chefs were also distracted, engaging in a heated conversation over who knows what during this slow period.

you come back out, giving mark an apologetic smile. “sorry, it’ll be a few minutes. do you mind waiting? you can sit at any of the booths.” he nods, and you turn fully intending to hide in the back until his food is done.

you are stopped by him clearing his throat, still in the same spot he was, and he opens his mouth to speak.

“__?” he mutters lowly, and oh, how your heart betrays you at the sound of your name in his voice. you turn back to him, not knowing what your expression is right now.

“yeah?”

“do you remember me?” how could you ever forget?

“yeah, i do,” is all you can say.

“oh, uh. cool.” the end of that comes out a little rasped and he clears his throat again. “how have you been?” you want so badly for this to be over, wishing that he would’ve just pretended to not know you, but you are polite if anything.

“i’m good, just working here, nothing crazy,” you respond. “and you?”

“good,” he responds, and you want to roll your eyes so badly. he started this awkward conversation and is giving you nothing.

“great! well, i’m gonna check on your food,” you scurry away, grateful for any excuse to be away from him. you scroll on your phone in the back for a few minutes and thank the universe that the chefs are just finishing packing up the food.

when you come back with the food, beckoning him over, mark comes up to you at the cash register, fishing his card out of his wallet as you enter the items into the system.

“do you smoke?” he asks abruptly, and when you make eye contact, he can’t seem to hide that even he’s a little shocked at his own question. you look at him inquisitively, hands paused at the sudden question.

“yeah, i do. why?” you ask. no thanks to you.

“well, i kinda started selling recently. trying to get my foot in the door in this area.” he hands you his credit card as he talks, explaining how selling is a side to his other job.

“oh, cool! good luck with that,” you respond as politely as possible, trying to be prompt. you hand him his card back and receipt to sign, not wanting anything to do with him or this new adventure of his.

he turns the receipt over and scribbles something on it before giving it back to you.

“not sure if you still have my number, i haven’t changed it, but just in case here it is.” you stare at the familiar handwriting. you couldn’t get yourself to delete his number as much as you wanted to, but he doesn’t have to know that.

“i’ll give you a discount, for old time’s sake? just text if you need anything, i deliver.” you nod, thanking him still in the polite tone you’ve maintained this entire time.

“it was nice seeing you, __.”

“you too, mark.”

he picks up his food as he says his goodbyes, turning to walk out the door. once he’s gone, you sit down for a bit, having to process the sudden reunion.

realistically, you should feel angry at the fact that he acted like nothing was wrong, like you were just some acquaintances seeing each other in passing. for old time’s sake? yeah, right.

yet another part of you feels those same butterflies you felt all those years ago, fluttering around in your stomach with hope at the chance to see him again. happy at the fact that he’s talking and looking at you again.

you push those feelings to the back of your mind. you will not be going to mark lee for anything.

renjun finally comes back from his lunch, asking if he missed anything crazy. you shake your head no, and the day passes as you unsuccessfully try to wipe the the town’s new plug from your brain.

the following weekend, you’re smoking again with renjun, milking as much out of his bag of gelato as you possibly can. unfortunately for you, his bag is running really low, and he also really likes it.

“no! just order your own?” he snatches the bag from your hand. “i’ll give you his number, just do it.”

“junnieee, can’t you just order it for me? you get a discount don’t you?” you assume mark is giving discounts while he’s trying to start up his plug career, but renjun looks at you confused.

“discount? what are you talking about? mark’s prices are good, but i didn’t hear about a discount..” he says, eyes narrowing at you suspiciously.

oh shit. you messed up. letting out a sigh, you give in and tell him about the encounter with mark at the restaurant, leaving out all the awkward details and your history together. renjun holds you by the arms, shaking you slightly.

“if he’s offering you the discount, you should order! i can’t believe you’re willingly trying to pay more money,” he scolds.

you shake him off, but you can’t deny that renjun has a point. you did need a plug and a discount would be very easy on your wallet, but again, you didn’t want to go to mark for anything.

“if i order, can you pick it up?” you ask, hoping at least that you wouldn’t have to see mark.

“what am i?? your bitch boy?” renjun asks jokingly, but he looks at you a bit worriedly. “is everything okay? why are you being so weird about this?”

“i’m not!” you object almost too quickly, making renjun even more suspicious. not wanting to explain any further, you decide to just suck it up.

“nevermind, it’s fine. i’ll order it myself,” you say, but you don’t think you actually will.

“order me a couple, too, since you’ve got that discount.”

ugh. you agreed just to get him off your back, but with his order, you’re locked in.

“text him right now or you’ll forget. i know you,” he insists. you’re extra locked in now. you pull out your phone, debating on what to say as renjun rolls another joint for you.

hey, it was nice se- deleted.

hello mark, it’s- deleted.

it’s just a simple text, how hard could it be? you snap a picture of the bag in your hands and send it.

8:02pm you: picture attachment

8:02pm you: hey mark, it’s __. can i order a half of gelato? this brand ^^

you keep it simple, and as soon as you send your text you fling your phone to the other side of the couch, where renjun is. it feels so odd to be texting mark, and part of you feels nervous for his response.

“what the hell?” he says as he eyes your phone. not even a few seconds pass when your phone buzzes, and renjun looks at the lit screen with a smile. “damn, what a good plug, he responded quickly,” renjun remarks, picking up the phone and tossing it back to you.

your phone lands on your lap, and the notification is bright and clear.

8:03pm mark lee: hey __, yeah of course! i can bring it in an hour? what’s your address?

you stare in shock at how eager he is. you were going to suggest later that week for a drop-off time, but it seems like he’s willing and able to come as soon as possible.

“what are you waiting for? just give him my address, he can drop it off here,” renjun instructs. he shakes the contents of the bag, a single nugget falling into his hand. “yeah, you need to tell him right now before my high wears off.”

you sigh, unlocking your phone and opening your messages. at least you won’t be facing him alone if he comes to renjun’s. you type out your response.

8:10pm you: yeah, that works. thank you

8:10pm you: xxxxx xxxx xxxx

8:11pm you: ^^you can drop it off here

8:11pm mark lee: okay, sounds good, see you soon!

8:11pm mark lee: it’s really cold tonight, bring a sweater

8:12pm you: thanks, will do.

you place your phone down, sighing at the thought of seeing him. it’s the first time you’ve texted him in how many years? you were trying to keep it short and to the point, but he was being so nice. so like the mark you knew.

“he’ll be here in an hour,” you tell renjun.

“scoree, let’s finish this last bit then,” he cheers, picking the buds apart and grinding them up. in no time, the two of you are smoked out, just waiting for the time to pass as you try not to think too hard about mark.

what will he say? will he try to talk some more or just drop the weed off and go? will he mention anything about what happened all those years ago?

your thoughts are cut off by a ringing from your phone signaling an incoming call. a goofy picture of mark you thought you deleted from his contact pops up on your phone, and your heart squeezes looking at it. you’ll have to remember to take it off later. you pick up the phone.

“hey, i’m here,” his voice sounds through the speakers. it’s so familiar, yet so different, and it really feels like some high fever dream that mark is calling you and telling you he’s outside, as if nothing ever happened. you’re sure you’ve had actual dreams like this.

“got it, be out in a sec,” you reply and hang up, looking over at renjun. you sigh when you see his eyes closed, familiar snoring leaving his form. “jun, get up, mark’s here,” you say, shaking him awake.

he groans and swats you away. “sleepy. just go get it.”

too tired to argue further and just wanting to get it over with, you grab your wallet and renjun’s keys and pull on your shoes to head outside. as soon as you head out the building doors, you curse as the frigid air meets your skin. you had forgotten to grab a jacket despite mark’s warnings.

that’s the first thing mark seems to notice as he stands outside his car, a big black suv you don’t quite think matches him. but again, you don’t even know the him in front of you. before you can pad down the steps, he jogs lightly over to you, two bags in his hands.

“dude, i told you to bring a jacket, it’s cold as fuck,” he scolds. before you can retort, he moves too fast for your high mind to process, and in a flash he’s pulling off his own jacket to place around your shoulders.

it’s warm, and a familiar smell wafts around you as you stare at him, dazed. you feel as if your mind is short circuiting, defaulting to the settings it had for so long been accustomed to in mark’s presence—undoing so many years of trying to wipe his being from yours.

he steps back a bit from you as he picks up the bags he placed down. “here’s your order,” he says, handing you one bag. “and, uh, i know it’s cold out, but i thought you might like this..” he trails off his sentence, handing you the other bag in his hand.

when you look into it, you feel like you could cry.

in the bag sits a tub of gelato—your favorite flavor to be exact. you’re at a loss for words as you stare down at it. the old shop you used to frequent with the man in front of you had coincidentally closed the year you ended your friendship, taking along the memories with it.

“where did you- how did you get this?” you ask, almost not believing your eyes if not for the cold of the container that permeates your hand as you inspect it.

“they opened up a new shop on the other side of town. is that still your favorite?” you nod, feeling your appetite grow at the thought of the delicious treat.

you look up to thank him, only to see him gazing at you with the same warm eyes you had fallen for all those years ago. eyes a bit too warm for someone who had abandoned you.

the realization snaps you out of your daze, mind finally clearing. what were you doing? you’re letting yourself fall back into place with him when he was the one who pushed you away to begin with. he’d know if it was still your favorite if he stayed, but he didn’t.

you hold the bag with the frozen treat out to him.

“thank you, mark, but i’d appreciate just taking the weed.” he looks at you, then back down at the bag as he takes it back from you gently. he never was good at hiding his emotions, and it seems that hasn’t changed as you see hurt and confusion written clearly on his face.

“oh, sorry.. um..” he mumbles, contemplating what to say next.

“how much do i owe you?” you ask curtly, just wanting to get the hell back inside and smoke until you knock out for the night.

“look, __, can we ta-”

“how. much. mark,” you cut him off, feeling your resolve crumble by the second as he stands in front of you. you’re sick of this “pretending everything is okay” thing he’s doing.

“please.. even just for a few minutes,” he pleads, and the earnest look in his eyes is unchanging. “can i please talk to you?”

“i do-”

“__? is everything okay?” a soft, yet firm voice cuts in.

renjun’s head peeks out of the building doors, and you celebrate internally as your savior comes to join the two of you. you don’t notice the way mark tenses up behind you, gripping the bag in his hand tightly as he gnaws the inside of his lip.

“yeah, jun. it’s all good, just paying now,” you assure. renjun says his greetings to mark, which he returns.

“i woke up and you were gone for a while, so i had to come check,” renjun says, holding his arms around himself as he shivers from the cold. it reminds you of the jacket sitting around your shoulders— one that does not belong to you.

you shrug off the jacket, handing it back to mark. “how much do i owe you?” you ask one last time. mark is pensive, tucking the jacket into his arm.

“…you can have it for free,” he says, awkward smile painted on his face, eyes flitting between you and renjun. “first time deal.” you quickly start to refuse.

“wait, i can’t just do that. seriously mark, how much is it?” you ask, internally pleading with him to just let this deal be done. you don’t want to feel indebted to him in any way, but your friend has other ideas at the prospect of free weed.

“actually, you can! thanks, mark, hope i can get this 100% discount next time, too,” renjun interjects cheerfully. he starts to usher you back into the apartment, saying his goodbyes to mark as he rubs your cold arms up and down. “it’s so cold out here, better get back inside before someone catches a cold.”

you nod, looking back at mark, only to see him gazing at you with a smile that doesn’t quite reach his eyes. “thank you, mark. goodnight.”

“yeah. goodnight, __. and renjun.” he waves goodbye and parts from the two of you, walking back to his car with not nearly as much energy as he had when coming up to you earlier, rejected bag of gelato in hand.

you don’t know why your heart aches so much as he disappears into his car, but you try to forget all about it as you get ready for another round in renjun’s apartment. when you open the bag containing your weed order, you find a note along with it, your name at the top scribbled in mark’s familiar messy handwriting.

thanks for ordering, talk to you soon :)

-mark

you take the packets of flower out of the bag and throw the note back in. you will not be talking to him soon. as you take a hit of your freshly rolled joint, you hope the smoke dissipating into the air around you takes the images of mark lee along with it.

you hoped you wouldn’t be talking to him soon, but when you get a takeout order under “donghyuck,” you get a bad feeling about who will be picking it up. it’s a monday afternoon, one of your slowest times, and you’re the only one scheduled besides the cooks.

you make sure the kitchen staff has the order ready, hoping that this exchange would be quick, and your bad feeling proves true when a familiar head of dark hair makes its way through your door.

you lock eyes with the bright-eyed man, and he waves bashfully as he comes up to the front.

“hey.”

“hey, for donghyuck, right?” you confirm, already placing some utensils in the bag.

“yeah, wait, how did you know?” he asks, surprised that you mentioned the name before he could.

“you did it last time, too. he’s a regular here and renjun’s friend, so i know you aren’t him.”

“oh, that’s right. yeah, renjun..” he mutters the last part, fishing his wallet out of his back pocket. there’s an awkward silence after, and he hands you his card as you ring him up. he speaks up first.

“so, are you and renjun, like, a thing?” he has a talent for making you stop in your tracks, as the shock of his question rings through you.

“what?”

“well, i was thinking the address looked a bit familiar. and you’re living together?” he asked, not fully able to maintain eye contact as he explained his thought process.

you sigh. though you don’t want mark to know anything about you beyond your weed order, you also don’t want renjun caught up in a misunderstanding.

“we’re friends, mark. i have my own apartment somewhere else, i just go over there a lot,” you turn your attention back to the register, printing his receipt and handing it back to him. it’s a familiar interaction, but with a lot more talking this time.

he can’t hide the slight smile on his face as he takes his receipt and card back from you.

“oh, that’s cool!” you can tell he means it now. there’s another bit of silence between the two of you, and you’re hoping he gets the cue to leave.

“well, thanks for ordering and have a good da-”

“wait, __,” he stops you, glancing around to make sure no one’s around. “honestly, can we talk?”

you feel the familiar irritation creeping up your being. “what is there to talk about?” you feign ignorance.

“really?” he grimaces.

“really.” you face him head on.

“look, just give me a chance to apologize, there was just a lot going on and i would like to explain, but not here.”

at this point, the irritation has bubbled up into full blown anger, and you can’t stop yourself from bursting out at him.

“there was a lot going on? yeah, maybe. but when had that ever stopped us from working through things together?? you could’ve told me anything back then, and i would have accepted it.” you feel yourself start to tear up, but you know you can’t let this get too far at work. “you just left, mark, and i never heard from you again. i have nothing to say to you.”

you can see his eyes have glossed over, unable to retort properly. another wave of silence passes between the two of you before he opens his mouth to speak.

“i’m sorry..”

you shake your head and hand him his food.

“you should be. thank you for ordering and have a good day.” with that you spin on your heel, ducking in the back as one of the older cooks, taeil, comes out with a questioning look at the commotion.

you just continue on into the back room and don’t look back even as you hear the bell chime and door shut, pushing back an onset of tears. you slump into one of the chairs, dreading the next few hours of your shift, already more than drained.

“’s that your man?” taeil asks after following you with a look of concern.

“absolutely not.”

“well, he left this on the counter. guessing it’s for you.” he plops the bag in your lap and heads back to the kitchen. you can feel its cold weight as you peer inside to see a familiar treat you had rejected once before.

when you collapse onto your bed after your shift, your mind replays the events from earlier. your heart aches. part of you is proud of yourself for standing your ground, but the other side of you feels for mark. he just wanted a chance to talk to you, to apologize.

but the truth of the matter is that you don’t know how you’d react to an apology if he offered it, and you have a feeling it would be hard for you to keep up the wall you’ve built with him. you don’t want it to be so easy for him, but at the same time you can’t help but feel a little bad for making it so difficult.

you find yourself scrolling through old pictures of the two of you that you never had the heart to delete. he deserves this, you try to convince yourself, but that thought pains you as well. with mark lee, the emotions that follow are always complicated.

whether you like it or not, you know deep down that you still care about him. you tell yourself he’s not a good person, but at your core you know he is, evidenced by the sweet treat sitting in your freezer and every interaction you’ve had since your reunion.

bzzzzzz.

your phone buzzes in your hand, and you curse as it falls onto your face. you lift it up to take a look at who has interrupted your thoughts, and like the first time you reunited, you fear your thoughts have brought him straight to you.

the same goofy picture that you didn’t delete pops up on your phone. you chew on your lip, letting it ring a bit longer before ultimately deciding against your better judgement. with everything you were just thinking, exhausted from the back and forth, you just didn’t have it in you to deny him again.

“hello?”

“hello- hey! __?” you can hear the relief in his voice.

“hi.”

“i’m gonna be honest, i didn’t think you’d pick up.”

“and you still called anyway?” you wince at the bite in your voice.

“look, __. i know you probably don’t want to hear from me, and i know i was a shit friend, but please give me a chance to talk to you. if you don’t want to hear from me ever again or just want weed or whatever after we talk, it’s okay.” you feel your barrier weakening at his pleading.

after a few moments to ponder, you decide to go for it. maybe some closure could be beneficial for both of you.

“okay, when?”

“whe- oh! oh, uh.. didn’t think i’d make it this far,” he laughs nervously, and you can’t help but laugh at that as well, feeling your heart lighten just the tiniest bit.

“i’m free the rest of the night,” you tell him.

“me too, kind of—i actually have some deliveries, do you want to join?”

“if it’s cool with you, sure.”

“more than cool, i’ll be there in 30.” you can hear the smile in his voice, and when you hang up, despite your heart beating out of your chest, you find yourself smiling, too.

“hey.”

“hi.”

you open the door of mark’s black suv and slide into his passenger seat. mark starts up the car only after confirming your seatbelt is on. the car ride is silent for a few minutes, and your leg bobs as you get more impatient by the second. after a good amount of time, he finally speaks up.

“so umm, how was work?” he asks as if he wasn’t there.

“started off really bad because of someone.” he grimaces, hand tightening on the steering wheel. the tense feeling has returned tenfold.

“sorry.. i really didn’t mean to cause any issues at your job, hope you didn’t get in trouble or anything,” he peeks over at you.

“it’s okay, honestly i lost my temper, too. nothing bad happened.” he lets out a sigh of relief at that. “’m not gonna apologize for it though.”

“you don’t have to, i deserved it..” he says, looking a little defeated. “i’m honestly just grateful you even gave me a chance to talk.” for some reason, his words strike a chord in you, and you feel the irritation in your throat starting to spill.

“if you had asked maybe 3 years ago, fuck, even last year—i’d have given a chance in a heartbeat, mark.” any lightheartedness has dissipated quickly as you remember why you are like this in the first place.

“i know—just, running into you, i couldn’t let this chance pass.” all semblance of composure you thought you’d have coming into this conversation has disappeared; just being near him shakes you.

“so you wouldn’t have ever reached out if we didn’t bump into each other?” you retort, feeling your heart break a little. you try to keep your voice strong, but it quivers as you press on. “it’s all just soo convenient??”

“no! w-well, i would’ve eventually. honestly.” he pulls up to a random apartment complex, parking the car. his hands still tightly grip the steering wheel.

“please listen, i’m gonna be honest, okay.” you nod at him as he faces you, face turning red as he looks down. “uhhh.. you know when we, like, kissed?”

you nod.

“that was my first kiss, well my first anything.”

that came as a surprise, given how popular he was and how seasoned that kiss felt. “i had never done anything like that before and we were so high. i just felt like.. i took advantage of you?” he sighs, still unable to meet your eyes.

“no, mark. i’ve never thought of it that way,” you assure.

“i felt like i had crossed a line i never should have and every time i thought of you i just felt so guilty.”

“so you decided to cut me out of your life forever? after years of friendship? you thought i wasn’t someone you could work it out with?” your heart is beating out of your chest and you feel your face heating up as you bite back tears.

“no! it’s not you, ugh, this sounds so stupid but really, it was me! every time i’d make up my mind to approach you i just lost the courage. i just kept imagining that you’d be so disappointed in me, and the longer that went on the worse it was.”

you’re silent at that, just feeling like you want to cry. you want to yell at him, to get even angrier, but you let him talk.

“i know how sad you were when everything happened, and i wanted to make things right—trust me, i really did. but time passed and i missed my chance and i could see you were so happy with your new friends.” he finally meets your eyes, turning fully to you, and there are unshed tears in mark’s eyes as well.

“i’m so sorry, and i wish i had stayed that day. then maybe i wouldn’t have lost you. i missed you so bad, but i-i messed it all up.” his voice cracks a bit. “i know i can’t expect your forgiveness, but if there’s any chance at all, i really want to make it up to you. i want my best friend back.”

your heart breaks as you listen to his apology, and you feel the tears slip out of your eyes at his last sentence. you try to tell yourself that he needs to suffer more for all of this, but you just can’t bring yourself to antagonize him any further.

you realize you might be stupid for forgiving him so easily, but you also wanted your best friend back. you were so tired of being angry, and your 18-year old self is at the back of your mind, pleading with you to just rest. he was stupid, but he’s here now.

you realize he’s fully crying, too. he never used to cry, even at his saddest moments. you place a hand on top of his, and though he flinches at the contact at first, he quickly moves to intertwine his fingers with yours.

you have so much more to say, but you think you’ll have a lot more chances to talk about it. for now, you’ll just be. his thumb caresses the side of your hand. the silence between you isn’t suffocating anymore, it feels right.

“you know, i—”

bzzzzzzzzzzz.

he’s interrupted by his phone lighting up in his pocket, blaring ringtone and vibration filling the car. he looks at you, and you withdraw your hand from his, settling back in your seat. his hand remains where you left it.

“it’s okay, pick it up.”

wordlessly, he does just that, rubbing the tears from his eyes. you hear a man’s voice over the speakers.

“oh shit, sorry. i’m a few minutes away, had a pit stop.” the two of you had forgotten why you were out driving in the first place, mark’s presumed customer asking his whereabouts.

“sorry, we’ll continue this conversation in a bit,” mark assures, putting his phone in his pocket and starting the car back up.

“it’s fine, work is important, mark.” he nods, putting on a random playlist. the short drive to his customer’s apartment complex is quiet apart from the music, but a good kind of quiet that helps you as you let yourself process the conversation.

mark pulls up to the curb, grabbing his supply bag from behind your seat.

“sit tight, i’ll be quick,” he says, jumping out of the car to meet his customer waiting outside their apartment. your eyes follow his form, and you can’t help but tear up again.

this conversation is everything you wanted, and even if it’s coming later than you would have liked it, you can feel a burden being lifted from your chest; your heart feels so much lighter.

at the same time, you can’t deny the feelings blossoming in your chest beyond the relief of having his friendship back. the feelings beyond friendship itself. it’s all so much to think about, and your vision darkens as your thoughts progress.

“hey, __, wake up, we’re at your place.” mark shakes you gently by the shoulder, peering into your face as you come to, blinking away the sleep from your eyes. you dart up from your slumped state, having fallen asleep in the middle of your thoughts.

“oh shit, sorry, didn’t mean to doze off,” you apologize worriedly. “what time is it? how long was i sleeping?”

“it’s all good, i’m done with the deliveries now, so it’s time to head in for the night, getting pretty late.”

when you look around, you realize you are indeed parked in front of your apartment complex. “why didn’t you wake me up?” you ask, slightly embarrassed at having knocked out the entire rest of the night in his car. “let’s pick up where we left off?” you ask, remembering he had been cut off earlier.

you can’t hide your fatigue as a yawn punctuates your question. he chuckles at that, yawning too at the sight of yours.

“you looked too comfy, i didn’t want to disturb,” he says, patting your shoulder. “let’s continue another time, okay?” his hand slides down to rest on top of yours, just as you did to him.

“is it safe to say that there will be another time?” his hand grips yours slightly, and his eyes search yours anxiously. you move to intertwine your fingers with his, just as he did to you.

“yeah, there will be. can’t finish that big tub of gelato by myself.” you can’t keep down your smile, and he grins widely, pulling you into as best of a hug as he can manage over his center console.

“i missed you so much,” he murmurs into the side of your head.

your heart beats wildly as you wrap your arms around him, but it’s a part of your heart that has stood still since the day he left. “i missed you, too.”

it’s a little weird how easily mark integrated back into your life. one day you were erasing his existence from your mind, the next rejecting him to his face, and now every few days you’re sitting in his passenger seat as he makes deliveries or preps orders, always making sure to roll you a joint.

since his apology, the two of you have talked—a lot. catching up on over 4+ years of life takes time, but it seems mark has all the time in the world with how often he’s with you. he always was a yapper, and there’s never a dull moment when you spend time together.

you never found out what he was going to say when the phone call interrupted you, but you think you’re okay not knowing. you try not to bring up the past as much, as does he—it’s like an unspoken agreement that you’re both moving forward. at least that’s what you think.

in reality, you know this may just be another way of coping. having mark back in your life was so beautiful, and you don’t want anything to get weird again. you tell yourself that what’s important will eventually be discussed, but right now you just want to enjoy his presence.

mark being back didn’t automatically propel him back into best friend status. that position was reserved for renjun, and that won’t ever change, and you assure him of this as you catch him up on everything that’s happened, as well as your history with mark.

to your surprise, renjun isn’t too fazed by the news. he’s always had a pretty good intuition. “you see, i knew you were acting weird,” he scolds. “you can’t hide anything from me.”

you smile at him, rubbing his head aggressively. “you are sooo right, my junnie.” the two of you fall into your usual smoking routine.

“do you think i’m dumb for letting him back in so easily?” you ask, high thoughts swirling in your head, and without missing a beat, renjun replies.

“no, not at all.”

“really?” you press, astonished. renjun was always brutally honest, and you thought he might have other thoughts about the whole thing.

“you aren’t dumb and i trust your judgement. it sounds like he’s genuinely sorry, and he’d be the dumb one to not want you in his life.” renjun always knows the best things to say. “as long as he understands i’m still your number 1 friend and respects you, then all is good.”

you nod, pressing your shoulder to his and laying your head on his shoulder. “thank you, junnie.” he rests his head on top of yours.

“no need to thank me,” he says, grinning. he separates from you, facing you with a mischievous look in his eye.

“you know.. the best friend spot is reserved for me, but he could always take the boyfriend spot.” you gasp, smacking him lightly.

“oh my god, no!” being high always makes you more honest, so you just know the embarrassment you’re feeling is written all over your face. “it’s not like that.”

renjun rolls his eyes. “oh sure, and that’s why you’ve deleted every dating app, turned down that date karina mentioned a couple weeks ago, and have mark following you around like a puppy when he gets the chance.” you have nothing to retort—all of those things were true. but you don’t want to ruin anything you have. you lost him once and you’re terrified of that happening again.

“i’m fine with the way things are now, really.” you words are more to assure yourself.

“anyways, let’s smoke smoke?”

he grins. “fuck yeah.”

as always, that choice is a great one, and an hour later the two of you are clutching your stomachs in laughter watching your favorite show. your head feels so light, but not in a bad way, and your body feels glued to the couch.

you don’t hear your phone ringing between you two, but renjun in his own daze answers the incoming call, not even looking at the caller id.

“hello?”

“h-hello? is that you, renjun?” renjun giggles a little as he realizes who it is. “is __ there?”

“yeah, but i wouldn’t say here.” renjun full on cackles as he hands the phone to you. you aren’t exactly there; you’re floating through the universe at the moment.

“helloooo?” you answer. mark’s voice rings through the speakers through your ears as he calls out your name.

“markie,” you sigh out, not noticing how his breath hitches at the old nickname.

“uh— hey.” he recomposes himself. “i was going to ask if you wanted to join me on some deliveries, but it sounds like you’re having fun already.”

a night car ride in this state sounds like heaven to your ears, and you’re agreeing before you know it. “wait. that sounds soo fun right now.” you turn to renjun. “can renjun join also?” you ask mark.

“..yeah, sure,” he says after a moment, and you look at renjun excitedly, who has been listening the entire time.

“i will not be joining, thank you though,” he states bluntly. “i have a morning shift, so i was thinking of heading to bed soon anyways.”

you frown, but nod in understanding, returning back to the call. “renjun’s not coming, actually, going to sleep like a baby.” you tease, hearing mark laugh over the phone.

“so you’re taking my shift?” renjun bites back, and you shut up before returning to the phone call.

“i’ll come get you. renjun’s place or yours?” he asks, and you reply with the former. “got it, see you soon.”

he’s waiting for you outside the apartment complex, and it feels like deja vu with the way he immediately throws his jacket around your shoulders after seeing you in a light sweater. he rubs your upper arms lightly.

“i swear you’re gonna catch a cold if you don’t start wearing warmer clothes at this time of the night.” he moves to walk with you to his car, but the warmth from both his jacket and touch remain on your form.

he opens the passenger door for you, waiting until you’re settled before closing it and moving to the driver’s seat. he starts driving, and the two of you fall into the same comfortable conversation before it quiets for a moment.

“how were you planning on getting home tonight?” he asks, unaware at how you tend to stay at renjun’s quite often. you haven’t been staying as much since you started hanging out with mark again, but you wanted to make sure you still had time for your best friend.

“i was planning on staying at renjun’s, i’ve left so much of my shit there i don’t even bring an overnight bag anymore,” you laugh, but mark isn’t laughing with you. “i probably would have knocked out in the next 10 minutes if you didn’t call.”

mark is silent for a second before chuckling lightly, matching your energy just a bit. “well, i’m glad i called then.” the two of you catch up on the days you haven’t seen each other, conversation flowing smoothly between each stop he makes. one particular stop piques your interest.

he pulls up to the curb and reaches behind your seat as usual to grab his bag. he exits the car, leaving the music playing. there’s a woman waiting for him outside, and though you can’t hear their conversation, you can’t tear your eyes from them.

the woman is more than comfortable, leaning in to him as she giggles at something he said. as you watch them, you feel a tingle in your heart that feels all too familiar to the one you felt all those years ago. this has been a common occurrence when you’ve accompanied him on his deliveries.

you’ve found that he’s charming as always, even more so than he was as a slightly awkward teen. you stopped by this customer’s place just last week, but you wouldn’t be surprised if some of them purposely ordered frequently in order to see him. yet the selfish feeling of pride that you’re the one sitting in his passenger seat sits in your chest. you know yourself well enough to understand what that means.

renjun’s teasing about mark resurfaces in your brain, and part of you knew this would be the result if you let your old friend back in. you know things are going to be okay for your friendship, but your feelings are plain and clear.

despite the years apart and active repression of any feelings towards him, good or bad, you still love mark. you don’t know if you ever stopped.

the rekindling of this friendship has done nothing for you but tether your heart to him once more, but you can’t bring yourself to create any distance. mark slides back into the driver’s seat.

“what’s on your mind?” he asks, and you snap out of your thoughts.

“huh?”

“you’ve got your little thinking face on,” he laughs, starting up the car.

“i didn’t realize that i had one of those.”

“the way your brows furrow a bit, and your eyes get a bit distant. i can always tell.” there’s a funny feeling in your stomach at the thought of him looking at you enough to know that. “so are you gonna tell me? orr..”

“just thinking about some good gelato,” you lie quickly, but he looks unconvinced. he decides to just go along with it and you’re grateful.

“gelato, huh.. the frozen kind or the smoking kind?” he asks, tilted smirk painting his face.

“and if i said both, then what?” you grin, and he’s full on cheesing as he comes to a red light.

“then i’d get you both,” he replies warmly. butterflies erupt in your stomach—he’s just too good to you.

“my place?”

“bet.”

it’s a little past 2am when you lead mark into your apartment. as much as you’ve been seeing him, he’s still never been to your apartment, and it’s an interesting experience to see him there. you had long dismissed the possibility of him being in your life, let alone your living space.

you still have a good amount of the weed, so you insisted on just using up what you have though mark promised to replenish your stash as soon as it was out. the tub of gelato he bought isn’t even halfway done and in need of a second spoon, and you think that maybe he did that on purpose.

mark takes out his rolling papers, and you hand him your grinder. you watch as he grinds up the leaves, placing the filter and leaves onto the paper as he expertly tightens the concoction into a perfect little joint.

“you are too good at that,” you compliment, in awe of how efficient he is. the joints are always rolled when they get to you nowadays, and you’re also trying not to stare too hard at his hands, watching the way they move so adeptly.

“oh you know, it comes with the job. thanks,” he replies bashfully, finishing up the end with a twist. “want to start it off?” he offers, and you nod as he hands it to you.

“lighter?” you ask, not knowing where your own is.

“oh yeah,” he pulls one out of his pocket. “let me.”

you bring the joint to your lips, and he flicks on the lighter, watching you with those gleaming eyes of his as you suck in slightly. you can feel his eyes on you, and you try not to make eye contact, but you can’t help it as your eyes flit up to meet his.

something stirs in your chest as you meet his gaze, but he quickly breaks the eye contact, dropping his hand to place the lighter down. your eyes move down to your hands, and you rotate the joint a bit, making sure it’s burning evenly. mark watches your movements with his own awe.

you pass it back to him, it’s your turn to have your eyes trained on him as he takes a drag out of it, holding it in before blowing the smoke upwards, neck strained. in contrast to your usual hangouts full of endless conversation, the two of you smoke in comfortable silence.

maybe it’s the time of the night, or the fatigue of the week, but you don’t mind. but like earlier, his eyes meet yours often, flitting back away, and you can still feel his eyes on you even when you aren’t looking at him.

“dude, you’re really good at that, you know,” he finally speaks up. his tone of voice is so genuine, you can’t help but laugh.

your memory of the first time you smoked together resurfaces; he had praised you just like that. remembering that time of life doesn’t sting like it used to. you find that after many years of only recalling the bad, the good parts of that introduction to weed are now able to shine.

“oh you know, i’ve had a lot of practice,” you muse, finishing off the joint as it reaches its end.

“you’ve always been good at it..” he trails off, eyes looking a bit distant. he’s probably reminiscing about that same memory.

you’re both a good amount of high, and as you look at him, you see how he’s grown, mentally and physically, yet his sweetness has always remained. like always, the weed brings your honest thoughts to the forefront of your conscious. you want him so badly, maybe even more than your younger self did.

as your brain jumps along the timeline of your memories with him, it stops at one point—the kiss. your eyes remain locked on each other, and you’re almost certain that he’s remembering the same thing. everything moves in slow motion, and his face gets closer and closer. you can feel the warmth of his breath, of his body inching closer to yours.

but you know better now, even if you want him.

placing your hands on his chest, you push him back lightly, turning your head to the side.

“we aren’t doing this, mark,” you assert as firmly as you can, but your voice wavers. a look of hurt flashes over his face, but he’s resolute as he moves his hands over yours, bringing them into his grasp.

“…are you uncomfortable? can you tell me what you’re thinking about?” you look at him in shock at his composure, and you try to regain yours, but you can’t help the stinging in your eyes as you are filled with fear at the thought of losing all of this, of losing him.

“you can’t just do this and leave me all over again, not when I finally have you back.” the tears start to pool in your eyes, and you pull your hands from him, trying to calm yourself. you feel the younger and current versions of yourself at odds with each other, and the feeling is all too overwhelming as a few tears start to slip out.

“hey, look at me.” mark takes your face into his hands.

“hey.” his eyes are unwavering. “i’m not leaving you.”

the warmth of his lips meets yours as he draws you into a sweet kiss, one hand moving to the back of your head. as you separate, he pulls you into a hug.

“i love you.”

his voice is barely above a whisper, but you hear it clearly, pulling away from him with wide eyes at his confession.

“what?” you can’t believe your ears. it can’t be real, this has to be a dream. you shake your head, denying him. “mark, you’re high.” he shakes his head, too.

“i know i’m high and you’re high, but i’ll tell you again and again now and when we’re sober. i love you so much.” his confession opens the floodgates, and tears stream down your face.

“when we first talked, i didn’t tell you everything,” he starts. “every time i look back at that time back in your dorm, i think about how stupid i was.” your eyes are trained on him through your tears, unable to get any words out.

“you told me you loved me, and i was high out of my mind when i said it back, i wasn’t thinking straight. but i meant it beyond being friends and i wasn’t sure if you did also. i tried to play it off, but after all that, i couldn’t,” he confesses, face heating up.

“i meant to talk to you after, i swear. i meant to tell you this in the car that one time, too. but i really was a coward—i think i still am, but i can’t let this go on anymore without telling you everything. i thought i could just be satisfied having your friendship back, but i don’t think i can.” he brings a gentle hand up to your face to wipe your tears.

“i know i’m a little high, but somehow my mind is clearer than ever, __. i love yo-”

he doesn’t get to finish his sentence as you throw your arms around him, pressing your lips to his. his hands find your waist, returning your kiss with more fervor, both hearts racing at the reciprocation. you angle your head to meld your lips further with his, kissing him until both of you are breathless.

when you pull away, there’s not even a hint of devastation written on his face—instead his lips are stretched wide in a goofy grin, eyes gazing at you with pure warmth.

“you fucking idiot.” he winces at your harsh words, but his smile does not falter at all. “i love you, too.”

he pulls you back into a kiss, and it feels just as it did all those years ago. this time, you know he’s staying.

the remnants of your smoke session still flow through your systems, and now that your feelings are clear, you can’t hide your desire for him any longer. you want more, all of him. he guides your hips as you move to straddle him, taking turns nibbling and prodding at the other, deepening the kiss further.

he seems to share the same idea, but as you sit in his lap, feeling him harden in his pants, he pulls away for a second. “are you sure you wanna do this?” he asks, expression serious with a touch of concern. “am i moving too fast?” you appreciate the check in, but you can’t wait any longer.

“no, mark, i’m so sure. i want you so fucking bad.” you move over his hardening bulge to emphasize your words, and he groans, throwing his head back on your couch. “i’ve wanted you for so long,” you breath out over his exposed neck, laying kisses down as he swallows, his adam’s apple bobbing under your lips. he lets out a low groan, pushing your hips down over his own as he lifts himself to meet you.

he tugs at your shirt, lifting it up over your head, and then proceeds to take off his own. “fuck.. you’re too beautiful..” he rasps, continuing to grind himself into you, peppering kisses down your neck, nibbling and sucking his way down. you moan at the sensation, your hips pressing together, and he separates from your collarbone with a loud pop.

he looks at focuses on you with slightly hooded lids, moving his hands down to your ass to slow your hips down with a strong grip. “can we take this to the bed?” he asks, voice slightly shaky. “i don’t wanna cum in my pants, baby.”

you laugh in response to this, grinding down a bit more just to tease him. “let me ride you, gelato boy.” his eyebrows raise at the nickname and then scrunch at the stimulation, but he laughs too, using his grip to push you up from himself and down on your back on the couch.

he hovers over you, drawing close so that you can feel each other’s breath. “don’t tease me.”

an aching feeling erupts in your lower regions. he stands up, pulling you to your feet as he nudges you to lead him to your room. you hold his hand walking to your room, and he does his best to walk with his raging hard member confined in his pants.

“it’s probably not the right time to say this, but i almost came in my fucking pants when we made out in your dorm.” you let out a full bellied laugh at this, cracking up as you open the door to your room and lead him in.

mark smiles seeing you happy, even at the expense of his pride. you’d probably tease him a bit more if not for how turned on you are, but you need him severely. as soon as you’re both inside your bedroom, he has you in his arms, kissing you fiercely as you both tug your bottoms off in between kisses.

you tumble back into the bed, mark securing a strong hand on the back of your head to make sure you land safely, lips attaching to yours once again. you can feel his warmth emanating from his skin on yours, and it all just feels so right.

he brings one hand down to your core, gingerly separating your folds in contrast to the fervor in his lips. he runs two fingers down your slit, gathering your wetness on his digits. you whimper into his mouth, and he separates from your lips, wanting to hear your unmuffled noises.

he circles your clit slowly, kissing your neck as your moans resound like music to his ears. he experimentally shifts a finger down, prodding at your hole before entering slowly. your breath hitches, and he stills, watching your face for any signs of discomfort.

he continues to slip his digit in, thrusting in and out shallowly until he’s knuckle deep. he pulls his hand out, pressing his middle and ring fingers against your hole, slipping them past the entrance as you cry out.

“oh, f-fuck, mark!” you grasp at his shoulders, and his name in your shaky voice encourages him to venture further.

“gotta stretch you out for me, love. so fucking tight.” he scissors his fingers inside you slightly, and your breath stutters again at the stretch.

“’s been a while s-since i’ve done this, okay?” you hide your face with one hand in embarrassment, but mark isn’t having it. his hand separates from your core as he grabs your hand from your face, lips returning to yours like magnets before reattaching his fingers to your core, snaking their way into you before starting to thrust in and out.

his hot breath fans your lips as he moves up, growling lowly. it’s as if a switch in him flipped. “don’t even wanna think of you doing this with anyone else.” his fingers speed up, and he eats up your moans hungrily, messy tongues intertwining. all sorts of emotions whirl in his head, but he’s sure of one thing.

“should’ve. been. me.” he growls into your lips, punctuating his words with the thrusts of his fingers. “fuck, i can’t believe i let you go,” he mutters, jaw clenched at even the thought of someone else in his place.

the funny feeling in your gut earlier was no coincidence, your arousal is overflowing seeing this new side to mark. the intensity, the control—it all reminds you that the mark in front of you truly is a man, and this new side to him is one only you get to see.

“f-fuck, mark, fuck! only you, only you,” you chant, feeling your head lighten from the pleasure.

“yeah? only me?” he questions smugly. he slips his thumb over your clit, rubbing harsh circles in time with the thrusts of his fingers. “let me feel you cum around my fingers, baby.”

your back strains, cursing a mixture of praises and mark’s name, feeling that pool of fire in your abdomen getting hotter and hotter. with one last swipe at your aching clit, he has you tumbling over the edge, cumming over his hands with a loud cry.

he watches you in awe as you catch your breath, relishing the way your walls pulse around his digits as you come down. he gently removes his fingers from you, lapping up your juices from his hand, eyes not faltering from yours. “so fucking good for me.” already you’re aching for more, and so is he.

he’s flooded with the need to feel your walls completely wrapped around him, spreading your legs more as he slots himself between them. he lets his dick rest on your core, rubbing up and down slightly, coating his member in your juices as you whine in overstimulation.

he still keeps an eye on your expression, making sure you’re still okay. “all good?” he asks. he’s huge, and his throbbing heat sits heavy on you. you shudder in excitement at the thought of just how full you’ll feel.

“mark, please,” you plead quietly, wanting nothing more than for him to fill you up completely.

he has a smirk on his face as he continues his slow movements—just a little revenge for your teasing earlier. “please what?”

you thrust your hips up, gliding over his member in a way that almost has him eating his words. he holds your hips down with a firm grip. “what did i say? don’t tease.”

you look up at him with pleading eyes, unable to take it any longer. “mark, please put it in. please, please, please.”

he almost presses a bit more, but he’s about to explode, self control on its very last thread at your begging. he lines up his dick to your entrance, letting the head catch before thrusting in ever so lightly. just the tip has you seeing stars, fisting at the sheets as you adjust to the stretch.

he inches in bit by bit, eyes addicted to the way your face contorts with every shallow thrust. the stretch burns a bit, but he rubs at your sore clit, letting the pain melt into pleasure. he has to still a bit when he finally bottoms out, gaze now locked on how he’s buried in you. he lets you adjust to him, circling his hips to get acquainted with your walls.

your moans resonate through the room, and he has to bite his lip as he huffs, trying to keep himself under control. but you don’t want him to.

“please start moving mark, i need you so bad,” you plead, hands reaching out to grab his shoulders. he moves down, hovering over you, sucking dark marks into your neck as your pleas ring like music to his ears. his hips start to pick up the pace through your pulsing, rolling into you as you lift your hips in time with his.

“i’ve got you,” he grits through clenched teeth, setting a rhythm as your nails dig into his shoulders. he lifts himself up, letting your hands fall to your sides. he laces his fingers through yours, pressing you into the sheets, thrusts getting heavier and harsher.

“f-fuck,” he huffs. “i’m not gonna last long.” you don’t think you are either, not with the way his hips pound into your clit, tip reaching deep into your core. you’re both drowning in the pleasure, your eyes squeezed shut as you tear up from the sensations.

“look at me, __,” he calls, and you open your eyes slowly. he’s breathing hard, glistening sheen painting his body, hair mussed and pointing everywhere. you can’t believe he’s finally all yours, feeling yourself ripple at the thought, chest tightening with pure joy.

mark can feel it, too, groaning as he observes you, warmth surrounding him as proof to him that you’re all his. too. “you really are so beautiful,” he sighs, picking up the pace as he feels his high coming. “i love you.”

“i love you, i love you, i-i love you so much,” you babble, feeling the coil in you tighten and tighten, his movements hitting everywhere just right, his body over yours feeling just right—everything is perfect, he’s perfect.

you’re moaning his name and he’s moaning yours, both of your minds unable to hold thoughts of anything but each other.

with one last strangled moan, you come undone, and he pushes through to carry you through your orgasm, hissing at the way your walls spasm around him. he pulls out at the very last second, jerking himself furiously with his own pained groan as he paints your thighs with his cum.

his eyes hone in on the way his juices look all over you, moving up your body until he’s at your face, eyes softening as he snaps out of his post-orgasm haze.

his body descends onto yours slowly, limbs limp as the two of you catch your breaths. his forehead presses into yours as you calm down. the tenderness of it all almost brings you to tears, this time of joy instead of all those nights of sorrow. little do you know he’s also biting back his own. you just bring that side out of each other.

there’s no words being spoken, just you and mark basking in each other’s presence. you’re exhausted, and he is too, the hours now touching dawn. “one more thing,” he sighs out, toppling to your side and gathering you back into his arms. you hum in response, eyes closed as you scoot forward to rest your head on his chest.

“i was pretty much thinking of quitting being a plug before i saw you at your work.”

your eyes shoot open, darting up to meet his. “really? why??” you ask in shock.

“i don’t know, i was just having second thoughts about picking it up as a job.” his eyes move down to your lips, and he can’t help but lean down and lay some sweet pecks on your lips. you push him away with a giggle, urging him to continue.

“that day i met you again, i really short circuited. it probably seemed so stupid asking you if you smoke out of nowhere, but it really was the only thing my mind could come up with to try and connect with you,” he admits sheepishly. “but i’m glad i did.”

you’re touched, grateful that he made the first move even if it was a bit awkward at first. “i’m glad too, but you could’ve just talked to me, you know.”

“well, i tried, and youuu were the one to shut me down. though i understand why.” he lifts a hand to brush your cheek. you do feel just a bit bad about your treatment of him. but just a bit.

“i’ll admit i was a little harsh.” his hand travels back down around you to tug you even closer.

“no, you were just being careful.“ your eyes close, and you lift an arm around him to caress his back. he feels a bit tense. “i know you’re probably sick of the apologies, but i really do hope you can forgive me,” he continues, tucking you under his chin.

“markie, i forgave you a long time ago,” you assure. “but you can make up for it from now on.”

he’s silent for a bit, but his body relaxes completely at your assurance and the affectionate nickname he had gone so long without. you can feel his chin shift; he’s smiling contently. “you’re right.. i can offer free weed?”

“that’s a given,” you reply sleepily, already starting to doze off. “lifetime supply of gelato, please.”

he laughs, yawning and closing his eyes as well. “anything for you.”

note: if you've gotten this far, thank you so much for reading! like i said in the preview, it's been really hard to write lately, especially after the wrong people found my page, but i still enjoy it and hope you will enjoy this as well. it's not as smut heavy and more focused on the angst, but trust one of these days i'll be back w those high horny thoughts :'0 had a different vision of my plug!mark at first, but ultimately just stayed true to my soft stoner agenda hehe

thank you to everyone who interacted w the preview and also huge huge shout out to my bae @wispyxjae for beta reading thank u ilysm :') <3

feedback and shares are always appreciated!

-coco (˶˃ ᵕ ˂˶)

2500 likes!

The reason my bias list is off the wall

jaemin // 240504 The Dream Show 3 - Ment

It's my 4 year anniversary on Tumblr 🥳

Damn it's been 4 years already?!!! Turn up!!!

For all you stoner girls @hazyhae got you covered do y'all hear meeeee!!!!! Go read and follow!!!!!

strawberry cough | njm

strangers to fwb to lovers w/ plug!jaemin ft. bestie shotaro

summary: when your longtime bestie and plug moves out of town, he recommends one of his buddies to fill your weed needs. jaemin is glad to deliver that and maybe even more.

pt. 2 here

wc: 9.1k 18+ mdni

cw: weed/marijuana use, sex under the influence of weed, protected/unprotected penetrative sex, oral, 69, shotgunning, soft dom!jaemin, some angst & misunderstandings, jealous reader and jaemin, comforting from jaemin, jaemin calls reader baby & angel, gn!afab!reader, he has a pull out couch, strawberry cough is an actual weed strain i recommend it :)

⋆｡˚ ☁︎ ˚｡⋆｡˚☽˚｡⋆ ⋆｡˚ ☁︎ ˚｡⋆｡˚☽˚｡⋆ ⋆｡˚ ☁︎ ˚｡⋆｡˚☽˚｡⋆

shotaro calls your name, snapping you out of your thoughts.

“his name is jaemin and we have the same supplier, I’ll even ask him to give you a discount!”

your best friend was moving to another town across the country for work and you can’t help but tear up at the thought of being so far from the sweet boy. you met back in your teens and had been glued at the hip since.

somewhere over the course of your friendship, shotaro started to dabble in weed, teaching you almost everything you know about the substance and eventually becoming your plug and smoking buddy. with shotaro gone, it might be difficult finding someone who not only you can trust but also knows your weed needs like the back of their hand.

you blink at the new name, trying to remember what he was talking about, and recall something along the lines of finding you a new plug.

“i’d definitely recommend him, i’d say he’s second best to me in town, and i can trust him around you,” shotaro jokes with you, keeping it lighthearted.

you know behind the joking, your friend is doing his best to look out for you despite going through a stressful time himself. you don’t want to make this move any harder for him than it already is, so you agree with a smile.

“i’ll give him a chance, just give me his number and we’ll go from there.”

he meets your smile with his own.

“trust me, he’ll take good care of you.”

⋆｡˚ ☁︎ ˚｡⋆｡˚☽˚｡⋆ ⋆｡˚ ☁︎ ˚｡⋆｡˚☽˚｡⋆ ⋆｡˚ ☁︎ ˚｡⋆｡˚☽˚｡⋆

a couple of weeks after shotaro’s move, you decide its finally time to text your potential new plug. after finding his contact buried in your messages, you text jaemin, setting up a meeting time to pick up some goods, planning on buying an eighth and some gummies.

surprisingly, he asks if you want to check out his strains when you get there, wanting you to actually see all he has to offer before buying.

his customer service impresses you, realizing that you just assumed he would be as casual as shotaro and any other plug you’ve gone to. most of the time they would just ask you what you want, give you your order, and you’d be on your way. seeing the whole collection would definitely be good if you plan to go to him long-term.

while you’re a little hesitant at the thought of entering his apartment, you feel better given how shotaro talked your ear off on how good jaemin was, both as a friend and fellow plug.

a 20-minute walk from your place leads you to the address he sent, and you triple-check your phone to make sure you’re at the right apartment. when you finally ring the doorbell, you hear some rushed footsteps and the door opens to a sight you were not expecting.

your eyes move up to see a tall man with dark hair, broad shoulders, and one of the prettiest smiles you’ve ever seen.

“hi, you’re __? taro’s friend, right?”

you nod, exchanging introductions, and he gives you a tight handshake, not breaking eye contact.

“come on in! i’ve laid out everything so you can pick what you want. let me know if you have any questions.” he flashes another smile, and you can’t help but smile back at his welcoming attitude. besides shotaro, other plugs you have gone to never exchanged more than a few words with you, but they also didn’t have a smile like jaemin’s. actually, no one you’ve ever met had a smile like that.

you take a look around his apartment, noting how well kept it was, with minimal but tasteful decor. you were already a little nervous, but staring at the back of the attractive man leading you to his kitchen in his perfect apartment has your heart speeding up.

he shows you his collection, which you note to be on the same level as shotaro’s. you remember how your stash of your favorite strain ran out the week before, and knowing they have the same supplier, you look around his extensive collection for a familiar logo.

“do you have anymore strawberry cough? that’s my go-to.”

his expression falters slightly, but he recovers quickly and answers your question.

“i’m out of stock right now, but if you come back next week i should definitely have it in.”

nodding in understanding, you pick up a small pack of orange gummies, deciding on taking a break from smoking until your next visit. he packs up your gummies and leads you back to the entrance of his apartment, but when you reach into your bag to pull out your wallet he stops you.

“it’s on the house.” he insists, flashing you another one of his dazzling smiles. his smile makes it almost too hard to argue.

“oh no, i can’t do that to you,” you respond and resume your task of grabbing your wallet. you stop at the feeling of a warm hand on your shoulder.

“let’s just say it’s a first time customer deal, okay?” his strong gaze stills you.

“it’s not every day I get a customer as cute as you,” he says with a grin and a look in his eyes you can’t quite figure out. it does a good job of shutting you up, and you feel your face heat up. the place where his hand meets your shoulder feels like it’s burning.

you don’t know how to respond and he chuckles at your flustered expression. he places the gummies in your hands, and opens the door for you.

“make sure you come back next week, i’ll be waiting for your text!” you nod and quietly respond with your thanks and goodbye as you walk out into the hallway. he waits until you’re at the elevator, waving to you as the elevator doors close.

immediately you’re clutching your burning face in your hands, and his words replay in your head until you go to sleep that night.

⋆｡˚ ☁︎ ˚｡⋆｡˚☽˚｡⋆ ⋆｡˚ ☁︎ ˚｡⋆｡˚☽˚｡⋆ ⋆｡˚ ☁︎ ˚｡⋆｡˚☽˚｡⋆

while the interaction with your new plug lingers in your mind for a while, you are quick to try and dismiss jaemin’s flirting as his way of charming customers and nothing more. shotaro did say he would ask him to give you a discount, so maybe it’s safe to assume that freebie was a favor for your mutual friend.

the next week, you’re surprised to see a text from jaemin letting you know that your favorite was in stock. you had debated in your mind on when to text him, but it’s a pleasant surprise that he texted you first. you agree to come after work, and your second visit to him is not as nerve-wracking as the first, though his closing remarks from the first visit still ring in your brain.

you wave those thoughts off again as he meets you at the door.

“hello my strawberry cough lover!” he greets you happily.

lover. you freeze at the word. you pause for a few seconds, jaemin confused at your lack of response when you realize he’s referring to your love for the product. you totally missed that. he was not calling you his lover.

“hi jaemin,” you sheepishly reply, internally scolding yourself for those thoughts.

you expect him to collect your payment, give you your bag, and send you on your way. but something you’ve begun to learn in the short time you’ve known him is that he is always full of surprises.

he invites you in and you see your order sitting on his kitchen table. your eyebrow raises when he pulls out another bag of what you recognize as strawberry cough from the label.

“do you have any plans today?” he asks.

it’s about 6pm and your only plans included smoking the goods you would be getting from jaemin, so nothing’s booked. “i’m free, what’s up?”

“it’s actually been a while since i’ve smoked or sold this strain, so i wanted to ask if you’d want to smoke with me? it’ll be on the house of course, but you totally don’t have to if you aren’t comfortable” he actually looks a little nervous asking, which you find endearing.

“sure, sounds fun,” you agree, once again taking into consideration shotaro’s ramblings about jaemin. you would never pass up the opportunity for free weed with a potential new friend. friend.

he brightens, sitting you down on his living room sofa and running to get his smoking materials together.

“pipe or joint?” he asks. you reply with the latter and he gets to rolling.

you watch as he expertly grinds and packs the green leaves into the wrapping paper, licking the edge to seal it and pinching the end shut.

you can’t deny that it’s probably one of the most attractive things you’ve ever seen a man do. you’ve seen many of your friends roll before, but something about the way jaemin uses his hands (and mouth) has you almost drooling.

he offers you the first hit, and you place the joint between your lips. he lights it as you inhale slightly, keeping his hand steady to catch any ash from falling on you.

while his earlier display had your body reacting, his gentlemanly behavior hit you right in the heart. you take two hits and hand it back to him, watching him take his own.

“how did you meet shotaro?” he asks, making conversation, and you are more than happy to explain how he accidentally hit you with a basketball during your second year of high school. you feel your body start to lighten and your mind fuzz.

“he couldn’t stop apologizing, going on and on about taking me to the hospital,” you’re trying to tell him through your giggles and before you know it, full laughter leaves you at the thought of your friend.

he looks at you with dazed eyes and a dopey smile, laughing along with you, starting to recount his own memories of your shared friend.

conversation seems to just flow naturally between the two of you. with each time the joint is passed back and forth, you learn another piece of information about the man in front if you, and vice versa. it’s comfortable.

at some point, you are both pretty settled into your highs, melted into the couch watching some random movie.

you look over at jaemin, and he looks more handsome and cozy than you remember a couple hours ago. he was within arms length, and if you wanted to, you could just reach over and-

“__, are you okay?” jaemin’s call of your name snaps you out of your thoughts.

embarrassed by your staring and what just went through your head, you try to keep it as cool as possible, but you know that your thoughts are threatening to seep out.

“yeah, i’m good, just thinking of heading out soon since it’s getting pretty late,” you assure him. at this point, a few hours had passed since you arrived and it was safe to say you needed to go home and cool your head before you said or did anything you’d regret.

he nods in understanding and tells you he will be right back. you’re not too sure what he’s up to, but he comes back quickly wearing a hoodie and helps you to your feet with a gentle hand. he picks up your order from the kitchen, and walking to the front door he grabs his keys and starts to put his shoes on.

“are you heading somewhere, too?” you ask, and he looks at you blankly.

“i’m walking you home?” he states as if it’s the most natural thing in the world. you told him somewhere along the line that you lived close by, but you didn’t expect this.

“jaemin, you don’t have to, it’s only 20 minutes,” you try to assure him.

you know that it isn’t the safest to walk by yourself at this time of the night, but you don’t want to trouble him.

“i do have to, and i want to.” you know he’s really made his mind up, seeing his serious expression, so you give up any further argument at his response.

your thoughts tell you he’s just being a good friend, but your heart hopes its something more.

the two of you walk back in a comfortable silence, jaemin with your order in hand. he walks you to the front of your apartment building, handing you your bag once you arrive.

“i had a lot of fun today, hope we can do this again sometime,” he says with that same look he had when he gave you your first freebies.

“same here, i think that would be really nice,” you respond, internally celebrating that he enjoyed your time together just as much as you did.

his normal dopey grin comes back at that, and he bids you a good night, waiting until you are inside your building to start his walk home.

only when you get back to your room do you realize you forgot to pay him.

⋆｡˚ ☁︎ ˚｡⋆｡˚☽˚｡⋆ ⋆｡˚ ☁︎ ˚｡⋆｡˚☽˚｡⋆ ⋆｡˚ ☁︎ ˚｡⋆｡˚☽˚｡⋆

over the next few months, you find that jaemin never lets you pay. he’s officially become your plug and smoking buddy. you never stop protesting and offering to pay, but in that time you’ve also gotten to know how stubborn he is.

“friends get free shit.” he shrugs, as if it’s just common sense.

friends. the word stings a bit. you’ve come to learn that his charms extended so far beyond what was offered to customers. so much so that you’ve come to want more than friendship.

but again, you also don’t want to ruin what you’ve got growing and make him uncomfortable. this has to be a platonic experience for him, right?

that’s what you tell yourself, keeping your hopes at bay. you don’t want to risk anything.

on a particularly stressful work day, you come to pick up your usual order when he notices something is off. he frowns seeing you so tired and noticeably upset, immediately leading you inside with his hand gently resting on your back.

“what’s wrong?” he asks feeling your forehead for any sign of a fever. you’ve gotten a lot more comfortable with him over your time together, closing your eyes at his touch.

“nothing, just a tough day at work,” you murmur, just wanting to get your order and go home to lie in bed. a harsh argument with your manager today left you feeling frustration bubbling in your throat with no way to let it out.

“i know something that might help?” he offers. he brings you straight to your usual spot on the couch, and goes to the kitchen, returning with a familiar decorated bag.

“you didn’t,” gasping as he starts to lay its contents out on the table.

the bag included your go to order from your favorite fast food place, complete with a strawberry smoothie.

“i didn’t expect that it would be a perfect day to do this, but i’m glad i did.”

your eyes start to sting.

his kindness is coming at a moment you needed it most. he’s always been kind, and that has not changed at all since the day you met him. tears start to fall.

“wait, did i mess up your order??” his eyebrows furrow and he starts to get up, scanning the food on the table.

you shake your head, grabbing his arm to pull him back into sitting.

“no, just thank you, thank you so much jaemin.” you’re trying to compose yourself, but the same warm hand you’ve come to know and love starts to rub circles into your shoulder, making you cry more.

you lean into him, letting yourself let go of your frustrations of the day. jaemin encourages you to talk, wrapping his arm completely around you and whispering sweet affirmations in response to your worries.

after what feels like forever passes by, you find yourself relaxed in his arms with his head resting on yours.

“thank you and i’m sorry jaemin, i know that was a lot,” you say as you turn your head to look at him, realizing how close the two of you were.

he leans back, still with an arm around you. “i’m gonna pretend i only heard that first part. you’re never too much and you don’t have to be sorry about letting your emotions out. not with me.”

you really don’t understand how he’s telling you exactly what you need to hear.

at this point, the feeling slowly blooming over the past few months has really has made itself clearer than ever to you.

you like him. you like him so much.

you whisper your thanks again, and he shushes you, with his eyes moving down to your lips.

“you’re welcome, now let’s smoke a little?” he asks quietly, and you nod, figuring you would appreciate the relaxation of your body and hopefully, your heart as well.

⋆｡˚ ☁︎ ˚｡⋆｡˚☽˚｡⋆ ⋆｡˚ ☁︎ ˚｡⋆｡˚☽˚｡⋆ ⋆｡˚ ☁︎ ˚｡⋆｡˚☽˚｡⋆

jaemin lets you use his facewash and a towel to freshen yourself up after crying, and has a pipe freshly packed for when you come back.

after your usual passing back and forth, you’re melted into the couch watching tv yet again. jaemin has his arm wrapped around you just similar to how he did at your earlier cry session, but this time his hand is around your waist, rubbing absentmindedly.

you don’t mind at all, pressed into his side as you both watch a cute cat cartoon. you look up at him, staring at his lips as thoughts start to sprout. you’ve noticed his obsession with wearing lip balm, and it’s really paid off. they look so soft and you can’t help but imagine what they’d feel like against yours.

he doesn’t lean away this time when he notices your gaze, looking into your eyes with his own hooded ones. you don’t know if it’s the weed giving your thoughts life, but your voice is leaving you before you know it.

“can i kiss you?”

you gasp after realizing what you’ve said, moving to get up, but his arm wraps tighter around you, stopping you from separating yourself from him. staring down at you with lidded eyes, he closes the distance between the two of you.

his lips are even softer than anything you’ve imagined.

his pecks turn into full kisses, and it’s only a matter of time before things turn more heated, jaemin slipping in his tongue to meet yours. the two of you kiss for what feels like forever, getting lost in the haze.

your mouth chases his as he starts to pull back, and he smiles against your lips. he fully pulls back look at you, and leans in to pepper soft kisses on your neck.

“you are toooo cute.” he mumbles against your neck, and his warm breath gives you goosebumps.

“do you want me?” he asks, and you are speechless. you’ve been wanting him, thinking of him while sober and not so sober. you’ve dreamed about this, yet now that he’s offering himself on a silver platter all you can do is nod. he slightly tightens his hold on your waist.

“words, baby.”

your embarrassed face presses into the top of his head as he continues to lay kisses down your throat. you can only hope that this is not just a really, really good dream.

“i want you, jaemin. so bad.”

immediately you are pushed onto your back on the couch, jaemin’s lips back on yours and your hands threading through his hair.

he slots himself in between your legs, grinding into you slowly as your hips jump up to meet his. he begins to kiss a trail from your throat down to your stomach, his warm hands finding their way under your shirt and sweatpants to meet your bare hips.

“can i take these off?” he punctuates his question with a snap of your waistband.

“please,” you reply, feeling yourself begin to ache, but suddenly jaemin remembers something.

you look at him confused as he gets up, reaching around to two handles at the bottom of the couch. he pulls the handles, and you are met with a whole new couch section.

“you’re telling me it was a pull-out couch this whole time??” you complain. your nights with him were comfortable, but the extra couch space to sprawl out changes everything.

“hey, it’s usually just me on this couch and i have more than enough room, so i kinda just forgot okay?” he pouts as he returns to his task, pulling your sweatpants off of you.

you start to laugh until you feel his warm breath on your underwear. the sight of him looking at you from between your legs is something straight out of a wet dream, and you’re pleading.

“please jaemin..”

“please what, angel?”

you clench at the new nickname. you crave nothing more than for him to bury himself between your legs.

“please touch me.”

he pushes your underwear aside, and dives right in. you gasp at the feeling, feeling the wind knocked out of you as your hands immediately meet his head.

he groans at the feeling of you alternating between pushing his head deeper and tugging at his hair. the vibrations send chills down your spine, and your moans increase in volume as he lays sloppy kisses over your bud, eventually sucking it between his soft lips.

if you thought his lips felt heavenly on yours earlier, his lips on your most intimate parts takes it to a higher dimension. at some point, he slips your underwear completely off, getting right back into action.

he doesn’t let up, slipping his middle and ring fingers into your entrance, slowly thrusting in and out.

you feel the tension build in your stomach, getting tighter and tighter until a curl of his fingers sends you over the edge with a strangled moan. he works you through your orgasm, laying a final kiss before making his way back up your body at the feeling of your hands pushing his head away from your core.

“are you okay, angel?” you look at his smiling face, his beautiful lips covered in a wet sheen. if this is a dream, you don’t ever want to wake up. something hard and hot at your thigh snaps you out of your admiration.

“i’m perfect, jaem, but how about you?” you ask as you catch your breath, shifting your thigh against his bulge.

this catches him off guard and a deep groan leaves him. it’s music to your ears and you want to hear it again and again.

“let me ride you jaemin. please,” you present the idea to him and he brightens up, only to pull a worried expression.

“are you sure it’s okay? do you have enough energy?” he’s still the same jaemin you’ve come to appreciate, always wanting you to be comfortable. you just want to make him feel good, too.

“of course jaemin, i wouldn’t offer if i didn’t want to.” the worried expression leaves at your words as he takes off his pants and underwear. you pause as he reaches under the couch and pulls out a condom that he rolls onto his aching member.

“is there any other surprises this couch has?” you ask jokingly.

he laughs and he helps you up into straddling him as he leans against the back of the couch.

you grind on him as he softly pecks at your neck, feeling the vibrations of his low groans on your skin. you raise yourself and begin to lower yourself onto him, hissing at the stretch of his cock inching into your entrance.

“fuck, so fucking tight,” he groans as he bottoms out inch by inch, helping by pushing his hips up to meet yours. you moan at the feeling, with no one you’ve ever hooked up with being as thick as jaemin.

you bounce slowly, and you build a steady rhythm as you shut your eyes at the almost euphoric feeling. the combination of his cock reaching far deep into you and the weed coursing through your system has your entire body tingling. you open your eyes to peek at jaemin, who looks to be going through the same thing.

his brows are furrowed, and he’s letting out delicious groans with each bounce. he slowly opens his eyes to meet yours, and like magnets your lips meet.

“you feel so good, angel, so fucking good,” he murmurs against your lips. his hands move from your hips to your ass and he plants his feet into the couch.

a harsh thrust has you clinging onto him for dear life as he starts to piston into you, chasing your highs.

the two of your moans fill his living room as he speeds up, hitting you deeper and deeper until you’re reaching another mind numbing orgasm. your pulsing sends jaemin over the edge, and he pulls out, pulling the condom off to finish himself over his own stomach.

you plop onto your side, too tired to hold yourself up as you detach yourself from jaemin. you feel the weight of the couch shift and start to drift off until jaemin shakes you gently.

“sleep over? you can borrow some clothes and we can finish that movie.” you’re way too tired to think about going home and don’t have to work until tomorrow afternoon, so you’re quick to mutter a sleepy “okay.”

he gives you a hoodie and some pajama pants, and he goes back to his room to change his own clothes.

coming back to the sight of you in his hoodie, jaemin smiles to himself before sliding in with you to retire for the night.

⋆｡˚ ☁︎ ˚｡⋆｡˚☽˚｡⋆ ⋆｡˚ ☁︎ ˚｡⋆｡˚☽˚｡⋆ ⋆｡˚ ☁︎ ˚｡⋆｡˚☽˚｡⋆

you are surprised to see that first night did not sour your growing friendship at all. movie nights and order pickups still continued, but the two of you fall into a different kind of routine. weed was slowly pushed from the center relationship. yes, he would have you over to smoke you out, but more and more you find that you get lost in conversation or a show before you can even take one puff.

either way, half the time you ended up finding yourself under him, or him under you. afterwards he lets you sleep over or walks you home after a short nap, depending on the time and if you have work.

while you’re glad nothing got awkward, you couldn’t help but feel disappointment from your growing desire to be more to him. to have more of him. all of him.

it always was some combination of talking, eating, smoking, sleeping, or fucking with jaemin, but the two of you never talked about what your relationship was. you’ve become comfortable with your arrangement, being willing to put aside the pangs in your chest to continue these nights with him.

⋆｡˚ ☁︎ ˚｡⋆｡˚☽˚｡⋆ ⋆｡˚ ☁︎ ˚｡⋆｡˚☽˚｡⋆ ⋆｡˚ ☁︎ ˚｡⋆｡˚☽˚｡⋆

“he got you, didn’t he..” shotaro teases over the video call, catching up on the past few months since his move. he zeroed in on the numerous times you mentioned his recommended plug, knowing the charming nature of his friend.

“why are you saying that like you knew it would happen??” you bite back at his teasing, and he quickly clarifies.

“no, no, i was genuinely just introducing him to you as a plug, but i’ve known the dude for a while. he’s a great host, a great friend and overall, he’s a reeaaally great guy. if something happens, i approve.”

he’s echoing a similar jaemin spiel to the ones he went on before you met the man, but you can’t help but agree now that you know him just as well.

“i know, i know, but let’s talk about something other than jaemin.” you haven’t talked to taro in a while, and you didn’t want to spend your whole call recalling how well jaemin’s treated you. the more you think about it, feelings of uncertainty in the nature of your relationship also follow.

“okay, well anyways, i’ve been into this really cool new strain. they call it strawberry shortcake and it’s just crazy, you need to try it.” before you can respond, taro cuts in.

“you might need to get it somewhere else, though, let me see if another of my buddies around there has it.” you haven’t gone to any other plugs since you met jaemin, and you weren’t sure if you wanted to start now.

“don’t you think i can just get it from jaemin? he’d probably want to try.” he gives you a perplexed stare in response.

“i don’t think so, jaemin hates strawberries. i’m surprised that hasn’t come up at all?” the news from taro leaves you shocked.

you recall how jaemin didn’t have your beloved strawberry cough in stock when you first met him, but since then he’s never ran out. he could have just said from the beginning that he doesn’t carry it in stock.

was he buying it just for you? is he smoking what you like even if he doesn’t? if he is, what does that mean? the thoughts threaten to send your mind spiraling.

you try to push them aside to continue your chat.

once you finish your conversation with your friend and head to bed, you fight against a hopeful little voice in your head telling you that jaemin might just feel the same way as you.

⋆｡˚ ☁︎ ˚｡⋆｡˚☽˚｡⋆ ⋆｡˚ ☁︎ ˚｡⋆｡˚☽˚｡⋆ ⋆｡˚ ☁︎ ˚｡⋆｡˚☽˚｡⋆

the next day, you initiate plans with jaemin, wanting to finish up a show the two of you started. he lets you know you can come over that evening after some customers leave, assuring you they won’t take long.

you head over to his place, heading up the elevator. you’ve never seen any of jaemin’s neighbors before, so you’re surprised when the doors open to a gorgeous girl. her hair is a slight mess, but she works it.

she offers a polite “excuse me” before going into the elevator to head down. as you pass her, you get a whiff of something very familiar.

fresh herbs, florals, and something.. sweet? you ponder on the scent on the short walk down the hall to jaemin’s. he opens the door with the same smile as always, and leads you inside when you smell it.

the same scent you smelled at the elevator.

strawberry cough.

“did you get started without me?” you try to keep a light hearted tone, trying to pry as much as you can without giving your suspicisons away.

“just a bit, a customer came by earlier and wanted to try out some of my stash, but they didn’t want to smoke alone so i had a hit or two.” he smiles innocently. your eyes move to the tv to see the show you were planning to watch already playing on the screen. your heart sinks.

jaemin is a really good guy. he’s so special to you and you feel like slowly but surely you’ve become just as special to him.

when you sit down, you ask him to put on a different movie, wanting to continue the show another time. you can’t seem to focus and the joint passed to you tastes a little more bitter than usual. your thoughts fester.

jaemin is a really good guy, but he is good to everyone. he’s so special to you, but you’re not sure anymore if you have even began to brush the surface of being anything more than a good friend.

even if you’re sleeping together, you weren’t exclusive, and it’s not like you’re the only one he watches shows with or his only smoking buddy, either.

neither of you ever moved to define what went on between you two, and that little voice from last night is telling you now that maybe there just wasn’t anything in need of defining in the first place.

you finish the movie with minimal conversation and ask him to walk you home, citing your change in demeanor to a long, tiring day.

⋆｡˚ ☁︎ ˚｡⋆｡˚☽˚｡⋆ ⋆｡˚ ☁︎ ˚｡⋆｡˚☽˚｡⋆ ⋆｡˚ ☁︎ ˚｡⋆｡˚☽˚｡⋆

wanting to sort out your feelings, you decide you need a break from your regular visits, but 1 week of excuses and avoiding his invitations quickly turns into 3.

“shit.” you check your weed jar to find your strawberry cough stash running dangerously low. gnawing at your lip, you still can’t find it in you to reach out to jaemin, even if its just as a customer.

you’ve wanted to go back every time he’s invited you, but since the day you concluded that nothing actually special was going on between you two, you don’t know if you can act normal. you don’t know if you could lay under him, looking into his deep brown eyes and not tell him you are probably madly in love with him.

you needed some time to cool your feelings off. you’d be back after you sort it out, and everything would hopefully go back to the way it was.

you head to work and put your thoughts aside for now, actually grateful that there’s a line of customers to keep your mind busy. when it slows down a bit, you see a familiar face of a boy with rose gold hair.

yangyang was a friend you met through shotaro, seeing him in a lot of blunt rotations you’ve been in at shotaro’s functions.

“hey, yangyang! how are you?” you ask cheerily.

he’a quick to return your greeting, always being a pretty chill person to see even if you don’t know each other too well.

“not too bad, just running some errands. heading to my plug later, how are you?”

a lightbulb turns on in your head at his plans. the answer to your dilemma has arrived.

“better now, could i ask you a favor actually?”

⋆｡˚ ☁︎ ˚｡⋆｡˚☽˚｡⋆ ⋆｡˚ ☁︎ ˚｡⋆｡˚☽˚｡⋆

jaemin hears his doorbell ring, but he’s slow to get the door. he knows it’s not you, so what’s the rush? he grabs his customer’s order from his kitchen table and heads over.

even though he knows it isn’t you, a part of him wishes it was. he hasn’t seen you in 3 weeks, and it’s driving him crazy. you’ve just rejected another invitation to finish up that show you started, and he’s lost count now of how many times that’s happened.

he knows you’re busy, but he can also sense that something is off. he’s been scouring his memories for anything he could have done to upset you for the past week or so, but he can’t come up with anything.

he tries to assure himself that it’s just a schedule thing, nothing personal. he’s gotten used to your smoking habits, and he knows you’ll be running low soon.

it’s only a matter of time until you need to come see him, right? he can only hope that you want to.

he opens his door to see yangyang, one of his regular customers. he’s expecting a quick transaction, not really in the mood for small talk.

“hey yangyang, everything’s here.” jaemin hands yangyang the bag.

“hey, thanks. really quick though, can i add on an eighth of strawberry cough if you have any?” yangyang asks.

“i might, you trying something new?” jaemin responds, interest piqued at the familiar strain.

“nah, picking up some for a friend,” yangyang responds. jaemin’s eyes narrow slightly.

yangyang usually gets the same few things in rotation every time, but he’s never once asked for strawberry cough. jaemin wouldn’t think anything of it usually, but he’s a little sensitive at the mention of your favorite.

“oh, do i know them? maybe a potential new customer?” jaemin tries to disguise his prying as a new opportunity for him as a plug, but he’s just hoping the bad feeling in his gut isn’t true.

“it’s for my friend ___, they asked me to pick some up. do you know them?” his heart drops at the mention of your name.

jaemin goes silent for a second.

“..gotcha, i think i’m actually out right now but i’ll let you know when i have some back in stock.” jaemin lies, knowing he has a couple bags left, but there’s a bitter feeling making his stomach turn.

yangyang shrugs and says he’ll let you know, and then he’s on his way.

shutting the door with a heavy sigh, he goes to lay on his couch, which he’s had in its full pulled out state since the first night you slept together.

he remembers your dazed, glossy eyes, soft lips, and the way you lean into him. he remembers the way you look when he’s got you pressed into his cushions.

he hasn’t heard your voice in so long, the sweet sound of your laugh. he misses you.

jaemin picks up his phone.

⋆｡˚ ☁︎ ˚｡⋆｡˚☽˚｡⋆ ⋆｡˚ ☁︎ ˚｡⋆｡˚☽˚｡⋆ ⋆｡˚ ☁︎ ˚｡⋆｡˚☽˚｡⋆

when you get his call, you’re lying in bed already. it’s 7pm on a friday night, and you are spending it moping around instead of going out with your friends.

you miss jaemin, his apartment, his smile, the way he’d spoil you in so many ways, everything. you’d rather be laying on that couch right now, but you know you shouldn’t.

it’s just as you start to push jaemin out of your brain that your phone starts ringing with that familiar caller id. his picture pops up, a cute one you took of him in his bedroom after a smoke sesh awhile back.

caught off guard, you end up picking it up right away, and the voice you’ve missed so badly sends waves through the speakers.

“hi, angel, are you free this weekend?”

that nickname with his deep voice is already undoing any “cooling off” you’ve done in the time apart from him.

“i’m not sure yet, what’s up?“ your voice comes out clear despite your nerves.

“i know you’ve been busy, but i thought you might be running a little low on your stash, can i come by to drop some off?” he offers.

your first instinct is to make up an excuse because you honestly aren’t prepared to see him, but you feel like you’ve made enough excuses by now. you’ve missed the sound of his voice and hearing it over the phone is your breaking point.

as much as you’ve tried to push aside your growing feelings, it’s only fair to both you and him if you finally lay down your boundaries.

“actually jaem, if you’re still free tonight, can we finish that show?”

⋆｡˚ ☁︎ ˚｡⋆｡˚☽˚｡⋆ ⋆｡˚ ☁︎ ˚｡⋆｡˚☽˚｡⋆ ⋆｡˚ ☁︎ ˚｡⋆｡˚☽˚｡⋆

even though he insisted on picking you up, you decide you need the 20 minute walk to jaemin’s to calm yourself. your head is full of so many “what if’s,” and in no time you find yourself in front of his building. you see a familiar head of dark hair standing outside.

“there you are, angel,” he says as soon as you are in his sight, and he brings you into a tight hug. you immediately relax into his hold, not realizing how much your body missed his familiar touch.

“i-“ you start, but he shushes you.

“it’s cold out here, let’s go upstairs.”

he takes you up to his apartment, and you’re happy to see it’s still as comfy as you remember. he’s got the heater on, and it feels good on your cold face. he seats you on his couch as he always has, rubbing your arms up and down to get rid of the last bit of outside chill.

“what have you been up to? it’s been so long since i’ve seen your face, baby.”

while it isn’t new for him to be this cuddly, it’s usually later into your nights together. you remind yourself your intention for tonight, and you decide you need to get this over with.

you separate yourself from him, putting some space between you.

“i’ve been okay, jaem. but i came because i really need to talk to you.” he waits for you to continue, anxiety growing at your somber expression.

“i don’t think i’ll be able to come around anymore.”

jaemin frowns deeply. “i mean, it’s already been a while since you were over, even if you’re busy i don’t mind waiting, it’s no pressure at all?”

“no, i don’t mean that. i just don’t think i can stay in this sort of relationship with you anymore.” you are dancing around what you want to say, but it’s just so hard to get it out.

his heart sinks.

“because there’s someone else around?” you jump at jaemin’s voice, which has lowered at your words.

“what?”

he runs his hand through his hair frustratedly. it’s the first time you’ve seen him this distressed.

“jaemin, where is that coming from??” he says nothing, and it seems like he’s also having a hard time figuring out what to say.

“look jaem, this isn’t on you or anyone else. i’m grateful for all you do for me, you’re a really good friend and i love the time we spend together.” you bring yourself to look him in the eye.

“but i feel like i’ve started to rely on you too much, to expect and want more. it’s a lot, too much even. i don’t want to get my hopes up about anything, so i need to back off a bit.”

“hopes up?” jaemin looks at you with an unreadable expression. “what do you mean by that?” his own hopes start to rise.

you look down at your hands, debating on what to say. but you owe him the truth, even if it changes things between the two of you. honesty and time could save the platonic bond, even if it severs any hope of a romantic one.

“i like you jaem, i like you a lot and i don’t think i can be just friends with you, at least for right now.”

the silence following your confession is deafening.

he calls your name gently, but you can’t bring yourself to look at him.

“___, my angel.” he repeats.

he takes your hand gently in his, and your eyes move from your hands to see him smiling wider than you’ve ever seen.

he closes the distance between you, wrapping his arms around your waist and kissing you deeply. his warm soft lips fit perfectly with yours and you melt into him, your hands threading through his hair. he kisses you like a starved man, and he pulls you closer and tighter.

you’re breathless when he pulls away after a while, his lips red and starting to swell.

“you have no idea how much i’ve wanted to hear that.” his eyes are piercing through you.

“i like you, too, and i don’t want to just be your friend. i’m sorry you had to say it first.” you want to cry hearing his confession, but instead wrap your arms around his neck and bring him back into a heated kiss.

you have to be dreaming. you’ve only thought about putting a stop to your feelings for jaemin for almost a month now, but the feeling of this man being in your arms knowing he feels the same way now is so surreal.

jaemin pushes you gently to rest on your back, his hand moving down as his lips stay glued to yours. he feels the same way. he likes you.

“angel, let me take care of you, please.” jaemin’s gaze holds so much intensity.

“i’m yours, jaemin.”

hearing that, he dives right back into your lips with a fervor even greater than earlier, his hands tugging at your pants and underwear to remove them.

he’s always been so intentional with his touches, always seeming to know the perfect way to touch you. your words, however, activate a desperation of wanting to feel more of you and it translates into his rushed, almost clumsy hands.

he cups your heat with one hand as the other sneaks under your shirt to knead at your chest.

you are getting wetter by the second, and jaemin pushes one finger into you. your lips leave his as you moan loudly at the intrusion, and his head moves down to meet his hand at your core.

“jaemin, wait.” he pauses.

“i want you to feel good, too.” jaemin chuckles.

“don’t mind me baby, there’s no greater pleasure for me than making you feel good.”

his words have you wanting to press his skillful mouth onto you as soon as possible, but you stop yourself. “let’s do it together then.”

his eyes almost bulge out of his head at the idea, and the idea goes straight to his cock. he can already feel himself pulsing with need.

“69?? you are too fucking good to me, angel.” and immediately he has you flipped over, with your heat hovering over his face and his cock in your hands.

he starts to lick at you, straining his neck up while you get to work taking him into your mouth. you get into a good rhythm, feeling his groans on your core.

you feel him smile as he harshly tugs your hips down onto his face. you gasp, trying go back into hovering. jaemin’s strong hold doesn’t let you move.

“don’t hover, sit on my face, please.” he goes in again on you, alternating between slurping loudly and swiping his tongue all over.

your legs give out at this and he lets out a deep groan at the feeling of you pressed into him. you give a hard suck on his tip and take him back into your mouth. the vibration from your moans has him seeing stars.

“oh my god,” he mumbles into your core. he separates himself from you for a moment.

“baby, baby stop, sit up, angel.” he pulls you off of him.

“that pretty mouth feels too good, gonna cum too soon,” he pants. “i’ve got you, just sit pretty and leave it to me okay?”

you want to keep going, but jaemin’s back at your entrance like a madman, pulling you to sit on him completely again. his tongue reaches deep into you. he’s moving your hips back and forth, and his chin digs into your bud.

the sudden onslaught of pleasure is too much, and he has you cumming on his face with a loud cry. he helps you ride through your orgasm and you detach yourself from him as he catches his breath.

when he rises, he moves to pull a box from under the couch, but you stop him.

“no, no, please just give it to me, i want to feel all of you.” he looks at you concerned.

“i’m on the pill and i haven’t slept with anyone else since we started fucking, so please just do it.”

his heart is absolutely swooning at your pleading for his dick and your revelation that you’ve been his since the beginning. he stations himself between your legs.

“you’ve got it, baby, you’re my only one, too.” with that, he inserts himself into you, his tip beginning that delicious stretch.

it’s been a while since you’ve fucked him, and jaemin takes his time inch by inch despite wanting nothing more than to ram into you in one go.

“you’re mine, angel, i like you so much and i want you all for myself.”

he groans as he bottoms out, letting you adjust to him, but he can feel himself throbbing inside of you.

“please move, jaemin, i need it so bad.” he’s more than happy to oblige, starting to speed up his thrusts gradually until he’s fully thrusting in and out.

he reaches so fully deep into you, and he pulls out all the way to his tip before snapping his hips into you again.

“you’re so perfect. my angel, my baby, my ___.” he’s whispering sugary sweet words into your ear, and that in combination with his thrusts make your head start to float as your eyes roll back. this feeling is better than any high weed could give you.

“jaemin, jaemin, jaemin,” your cries of his name only encourage him to go faster, hit deeper. his hand presses into your lower stomach, and his fingers rub circles into your bud.

“cum for me, you can do it, just let go.” and you do just that, your back arching off the couch. jaemin pulls out and immediately plunges his fingers back into you to ride out your orgasm.

at this point, his cock is leaking, desperate and throbbing with the need to cum, but he wants you in one more way tonight.

he flips you over onto your stomach, pulling your hips up and teasing your slit with the head of his cock. he plunges back in with a deep groan and begins fucking into you.

your head is clouded from your orgasms and the feeling of overstimulation, and you almost dont feel him reach for something. you hear the clicking of a lighter.

looking behind you, you see jaemin lighting a pipe, all while fucking into you still. he takes a deep inhale, holding it in before blowing it out away from you.

if you had this view on video, you’d be able to get off to it anytime, anywhere. you clench around him tightly as you see him blow out the smoke. your eyes are glued to him.

he notices your gaze. “do you want some, pretty baby?”

you nod hurriedly, turning your head back front as his thrusts push you up the couch. he takes another hit.

a strong hand reaches around to pull you so that your back is pressed against his front. he turns your face to him as he blows smoke into your open mouth. you clench even tighter, and he closes the distance and kisses you sloppily. the smoke is seeping out past both of your mouths, filling the room.

“you’re mine. i’m yours, only yours.” he growls into your ear.

he fucks into you, holding you around your mid section with both of you on your knees. he lets go to hold onto your hips and you slump back onto the couch, unable to hold yourself up. he speeds up, thrusts turning sloppier by the second.

“f-fuck, angel. i’m so close. let me fill you up, i’ll give it to you so good.”

you clench at the promises he’s moaning out loud and he gets closer and closer to his peak. his thrusts are all over the place, desperate to finish as you lock your ankles around his to start rocking your hips back onto his.

“could treat you ten times better than anyone else. no one else for me. you’re the only one i’d ever want or need, only you.”

his sugary words are spilling out and the feeling is all too much as his hips stutter, cumming inside you with a deep, strangled groan. you milk him dry as he empties himself into you, toppling over to lie next to you.

the two of you lie side by side, trying to catch your breath, and he pulls you close to him.

you are emotionally and physically exhausted, but jaemin gets up after a few minutes, coming back with a towel and hoodie.

he cleans you up and helps you to your feet to use the restroom.

⋆｡˚ ☁︎ ˚｡⋆｡˚☽˚｡⋆ ⋆｡˚ ☁︎ ˚｡⋆｡˚☽˚｡⋆ ⋆｡˚ ☁︎ ˚｡⋆｡˚☽˚｡⋆

when you settle back into the couch after getting ready for bed, he puts on your show as you cuddle into his side. everything feels so familiar, yet so different without the feelings of uncertainty. you look up at him.

“when were you going to tell me you hated strawberries?” your question catches him off guard.

“who said that??” he chuckles nervously, but he knows he’s been caught and there’s no arguing.

“no seriously, you didn’t have to force yourself or buy that strawberry cough just for me.” you do feel a little bad that he was, even if it was his own free will.

he pauses.

“i just needed something to keep you coming back, aside from my pull out couch of course,” he jokes, wiggling his eyebrows. but his words hold truth.

“you should’ve known a month in that you didn’t need strawberry cough to keep me coming back,” you let out a little laugh at how cute he was being.

“imagine the betrayal i felt knowing that you were going to someone else for it though??”

you look at him confused. gears click in your brain when you remember the rose-haired friend you'd talked to earlier that day.

“oh, you know yangyang?” it makes sense given jaemin, shotaro, and yangyang share many mutual friends.

“yes i know the asshole. gonna monopolize it so you don’t ever cheat on me again.” he pouts.

“yes, yes, boyfriends get official exclusive plug rights,” you joke. “as long as you’re not smoking my strawberry cough with anyone else.”

“i won’t even sell it to anyone anymore, it’s reserved for my angel only. and boyfriend?” he smiles and kisses you gently. “i like the sound of that.”

after a few more kisses, you turn your attention back to the show, but jaemin pulls his pipe back out.

“does that mean we can smoke something not strawberry flavored tonight?” he asks, looking relieved.

you laugh and give him the OK, and he’s more than happy to pull out a whole array of different strains he’s been wanting to try with you. you sweat at the variety, but you know you have more than enough time to try them all now that you’re sure he’s yours, and you’re his.

end.

⋆｡˚ ☁︎ ˚｡⋆｡˚☽˚｡⋆ ⋆｡˚ ☁︎ ˚｡⋆｡˚☽˚｡⋆ ⋆｡˚ ☁︎ ˚｡⋆｡˚☽˚｡⋆

if you got this far, thank you so much for reading! this is my first full length fic and i hope to write more in the future <3 i hope u enjoyed! shares and feedback are appreciated -coco :)

I'd be broke as hell making it rain on this man here omg🥵🔥🔥🔥🤤🤤🤤

MARK LEE / POISON @ TDS3 (240504)

I'd react the same lol

hey babe <3 i got a haircut

it was the text no girlfriend wanted to receive and it was your growing fear as you watched mark's hair get longer and longer. you had expressed to him how much you loved his long hair. it had become a daily activity where he would lay his head in your lap as you played with and put his hair into weird hairstyles. you took the time every morning to tangle your fingers in it and run your hands through the long locks as sleep still lingered in the air. your stomach dropped as you opened your phone and saw that very text.

how much ...

you texted him back almost immediately. it was ultimately mark's decision to cut his hair and even with how dramatic you where, you were still going to stand beside your man; even if he was bald.

just a little off the top nothing too much

and dramatic is what you where when he walked into the shared apartment. his hair that had grown past his eyes was cut back to being a little above them. the back of it that had grown to his neck and was beginning to curl now revealed a fresh undercut. "how do you like it baby?" mark had a huge grin on his face that was hard to fight against. "it looks so good," your voice was shakier than you had wanted it to be. you could feel tears brimming your eyes.

mark was quick to rush over to you, "what's wrong?" he took you into his arms. "you're bald," you finally sobbed out. you hiccuped into his chest as you clung onto him. he laughed and patted your head, "i'm not bald. it was just a little cut". you cried harder into his chest, "they took it all off". he let out another laugh and just held you close to him. your sobs finally subsided and you pulled away to finally get a close up look of the new haircut. you felt tears in your eyes again and mark stared at you in shock as you practically flung yourself back into his arms. "what happened now? you don't like it?" he moved you away to wipe your tears and kiss your forehead.

"you're so fine," was the only sentence you were able to choke out.

This man here and fine ass Jaemin behind him 🤤🤤🤤

MARK LEE / TDS 3

I hear you!!! Cuz why haven't they wished for piccolo a baddie?!?!?!

Y'all hear me out…

HEAR ME OUTTT PLEASEEEHAGAKABAK S ALL N

Damn this was really good

Take One (M)

Pornstar!Yoongi x Fan Fiction Writer!Reader

Genre: Strangers To Lovers!AU, Smut, Fluff

WordCount: 24k

Warnings: Masturbation, Fingering, Big Dick!Yoongi, Slight Dom!Yoongi, Degradation (Slut, Cum Slut), Spanking, Sex Against A Wall, Unprotected Sex, Cream Pie, Phone Sex, Edging, Pussy Slapping, Daddy Kink, Hair Pulling, Cock Slapping, Cum Swallowing, Love Making, Marking, Body Worship, Cunnilingus, Face Fucking, Multiple Orgasms, Possessive!Yoongi, Forced Orgasm, Doggy Style, Impreg Kink

A/N: Again the biggest shout outs to my crew @ppersonna​​, @ladyartemesia​​, @xjoonchildx​​ who are constantly rooting for this fic to come out. I love my ladies so much!!!!!!!

There are three things which Yoongi was certain of. One, he was a big star in his field of work. Two, he had a huge cock, one to rival many of the largest names in his industry. Three, he can only find pleasure these days in written word. 

He has seen so many bodies in his career. So many different women and men that he cared very little for the human form. Now, written word where he could just simply envision a woman of his choosing doing what is described in twelve font Ariel Black ink. That is where he finds his pleasure.

He found himself after a long day on set, looking for mental relief. People make fun of his job, but it’s incredibly taxing on one’s spirit. He tried for years and years to be not only the best porn star in his field, but the most talked about. He succeeded after not too long, one utterly embarrassing title called ‘Little Cat, Bowl of Milk’ skyrocketed his success and had people coming back time and time again to his profile on all the major porn sites. He began to realize that success was eating at his bones. He so often found himself not being able to cum as he fucked his co-star half way to Sunday. 

It wasn’t about being the greatest anymore, or having the biggest cock in the industry. It was about actually being able to cum without the prop team having to strap a tube on the underside of his cock and pump out this incredibly realistic looking paste that actually looks like jizz. It was practically degrading. And yet, Yoongi only found himself orgasming through reading. 

It was a random happenstance as he was scrolling online. Just looking at a few different blogs on Tumblr before finding a link in their biography stating 'Masterlist’. Finding himself intrigued he clicked on the link, the girl with the pen name Nevermore had countless series of books. She was great at writing, truly understanding her character’s complexity and portraying it in such a way that had Yoongi constantly on the edge of his seat. But above all, the sex scenes she wrote were so erotic; so completely entrancing that he began to lose himself in her stories. He had never cum harder than before he read the words she so ardently wrote.

Jumping onto his couch, his feet find their place on the arm as his hand rests beneath his head. “I wonder what’s up with Kyla and Bjorn today.” He whispers to himself before sipping his beer. Every day of the week waits with bated breath to be Sunday. Nevermore publishes every Sunday at 8 o'clock and Yoongi never misses it. He will even stop a late filming just to read her new chapter. 

Stopping by her blog fills him with a sense of renewal. He first checks her updated page before anything else. She seemed to have an almost poetic soul within her, as if her fingers poured out earnest sentences with cryptic and riddled meaning. It’s her latest post that catches his attention, first and foremost, before he can even click on the book’s masterlist. He sips his beer as he peruses the post.

Coming Tuesday - Take One. 

Pornstar!Min Yoongi x Reader

Author’s Note: I usually research heavily for smut to make it seem the most realistic as possible. I looked into porn to get a sense of what pornstars go through day to day and came across Min Yoongi. Eajsidicjeisoc HE’S UNBELIEVABLE! So the next book will be a fan fiction based on him. And believe me when I say I’M A FAN.

Beer goes flying out of his mouth. Sitting up quickly, his eyes widened at the text. 

Keep reading

Never thought I'd need cowboy Nanami in my life please read these!!!!! And follow @chuuyasboots

𝕔𝕠𝕨𝕓𝕠𝕪!𝕟𝕒𝕟𝕒𝕞𝕚 𝕜𝕖𝕟𝕥𝕠 🤍 𝕞𝕒𝕤𝕥𝕖𝕣𝕝𝕚𝕤𝕥

* playlist

• it’s a date!

• he pays for everything

• long day

• arabella

• good morning

• sunny spring day

• save a horse…

• no days off

• big and strong

• oil change

• sun shining, breeze blowing, hearts thumping

• the sun’s hot but you’re hotter

• jealous!

• drunk texting

• the moon says hello

• back to bed

• spring cleaning

• washing your hair

• baby photos

• more than anything

• why not both?

• country sunrise

This man here🤤🤤🤤🤤 don't tell Mark lol

JAEMIN // JINGLE BALL TOUR 2023 BEHIND

My favorite of Mark fics 🥰🥰🥰

9 Moments with Mark

A drabble series based off of this post by @catboyieejeno

Pairing: boyfriend!mark x fem!reader

Genre: fluff; smut MDNI

Word Count: 0.5-1K+ each

Cute moments that were spent with your adorable and sexy boyfriend. All captured by a photo as a reminder of the carefree and spontaneous love that you share

If you'd like to be on the taglist, lemme know 18+ only💛🤎🐝

Stay Excited!!!!

1st Moment

2nd Moment

3rd Moment

4th Moment

5th Moment

6th Moment

7th Moment

8th Moment

9th Moment

It doesn't have to be a big ass paragraph as long as you reply how much you like their work, you'll eventually get more comfortable sharing your input. Feedback is what feeds writers and artists to create more for us to enjoy.🥰

People used to comment on web comics.

People used to comment on fanfiction.

People used to comment on fanart.

People used to comment on OCs.

I hate "content" culture.

I hate "consuming content" and scrolling immediately to the next thing.

People used to be excited about the art that other people created.

People used to want to share that excitement with creators.

I hate this future.

reblog this if your blog is a safe space on april fools and won’t have any jumpers, screamers, or anything scary or anxiety inducing

@hazyhae once again you got me so immersed. This was a real good one bae, it was just what I needed.🥰🥰🥰

indica dreams | ldh

plug!hyuck x fem!reader ft. bestie jeno and cousin johnny

summary: when you finally decide to do something about your sleeping problem, your best friend suggests weed as a solution. he introduces you to donghyuck — a plug who makes it his personal mission to teach you everything there is to know about it. 

wc: 11.7k 18+ mdni

cw: fluff, mild angst, smut, weed/marijuana use in multiple forms, unprotected penetrative sex (wrap it up!), creampie, oral (receiving), flirty down bad soft dom!hyuck who's highkey a simp, dirty talk + voice/praise kink, reader has sleep problems and is a chronic overthinker, reader has a bad trip on weed, tender loving and reassurance, baby/sunshine/my girl as petnames

you turn over in your bed for what feels like the hundredth time, eyes shut tight as you groan in frustration. you open your eyes and feel around for your phone, blinding yourself once the screen faces you. 4:23 a.m. great.

when your alarm set for work blares just a few hours later, you feel as though you shut your eyes for only a few minutes, reluctantly getting up to start your day.

this has been happening for a while now — maybe 1 or 2 months? you’re not sure when exactly it started, but you know the stress from work has been affecting your sleep schedule terribly.

you’ve tried melatonin — huge headache the morning after. other methods you tried led to something similar or didn’t work at all, and it frustrates you to no end. after another day of fighting to stay awake at work passes by painfully slow, you sit on your bed brainstorming with your best friend over the phone.

“i think we’ve gotta do something about the stress, then maybe the sleep will come with it?” jeno’s voice rings through the speaker. you can tell he’s just waking up, evident in his low voice and delayed responses.

“like what? quit my job?” you ask sarcastically. “you know i can’t do that.”

“i know, not that.” you can almost hear him shrug. jeno never has any problems sleeping, being able to sleep through the night and even take a nap or two throughout the day with his work from home job.

a lightbulb seems to flash in his head as he lets out a small gasp. “wait,” his voice sounds closer to the phone speaker, and a few seconds later, your phone buzzes with a new message.

6:06pm jenjen: dongfuck 010-xxxx-xxxx

“dongfuck?? who the hell is that?” you ask, confused and almost slightly irritated.

“oh shit, i forgot it sends the contact name and everything,” jeno laughs. “anyways, i think the answer to your problems is some good old weed.”

you pause. it’s not as if that never crossed your mind, in fact it has even before your sleep problem came about.

you never entertained the interest as no one in your friend circle knew enough about weed for you to feel comfortable trying it for the first time and you haven’t had the energy to go out as much, giving you no chance to meet someone who does.

“i could be down? but what do you know about weed, lee jeno?” you ask your friend suspiciously.

“no, not me,” you hear him tap on the phone for emphasis. “that’s where my buddy dongfuck comes in.”

you don’t know why, but your gut feeling tells you that you might be in for more than just a good night’s sleep.

lee donghyuck

the new contact in your phone apparently belonged to the resident stoner of his friend group who’s hustles as a local plug, and while jeno had his thoughts about the guy, quoting pain in the ass and corny flirt, he couldn’t deny that he knows more about weed than anyone he’s ever met. and as much as jeno talks shit, you know how he’d be if he actually hated the guy.

you had texted the new number nervously, asking if he could give you the basics on getting high, and he had responded with “it’s too much to text” and an address. jeno trusted the guy, so you did your best to brush aside your nerves.

it’s your saturday off when you arrive at the address he sent, triple checking that you are at the right place. your gps leads you to a building that looks like a 2-story house. it’s so lowkey that you probably would have walked right past it if you weren’t looking for it, but upon closer inspection it has a very minimal but aesthetic exterior, with vines running alongside the house’s entrance.

“NCTeaHouse” a sign reads right above the door, and you peek inside the small window in the door to see the interior. your mouth forms an o as you realize the house is in fact a store.

the front door opens suddenly, almost hitting you in the face as you step back in surprise. a dark haired man with rounded glasses peeks his head out from behind the door.

“oops, my bad. __ right?” he asks, a little unsure.

“yeah, and you’re donghyuck?” you ask, taking in the man who looks to be around the same age as you.

“just hyuck is okay, come on in!” he says cheerfully, opening the door fully. “i was wondering when you were gonna come in, saw you wandering around the entrance for a good 5 minutes,” he chuckles.

your face gets hot at the knowledge that he saw you like that. “i was making sure it was the right place, okay?”

he hums and leads you in, and you take in the view of the shop around you. it’s tiny, but warmly decorated, browns and earth tones dominating the space with boxes lined along the shelves and few displays in the middle of the shop. he goes behind the front counter, bent down as he rummages through a box.

you take a look at products at the register, finding that they are different tea bags. glancing back at the displays, you recognize the other boxes to also be different tea brands, and some other products you don’t recognize.

“is this where you sell?” you ask, seeing that he’s still looking for something.

“oh no, not here, this is my side job. we sell tea, coffee, and some other stuff.” he gets up with a smaller box in hand, leaving the register as he beckons you to a back room. “but it’s my cousin’s shop, i just help here when i can.”

the back room is also warmly decorated, simple with 2 couch chairs, a table with a coffee maker, and a tiny fridge with a small burner on top.

“you can sit in one of those chairs, do you want some tea?” he asks. you decline politely and sit as he places a kettle on the small burner, turning it on before sitting on the other chair.

“aren’t you working right now? i don’t want to take up too much of your time,” you ask worriedly, not expecting the address he sent to be his workplace. he shakes his head.

“nah, trust me, we barely get any customers, and if they do they’ll ring the bell out front,” he says, waving his hand. “anyways, jen told me you wanted to learn about weed? what do you want to know?”

you feel your face get hot again. you know quite literally nothing about weed, and to admit that to a friend of a friend is a little embarrassing. but again, if jeno trusts him, so do you.

“to be completely honest.. i know nothing about it. i just know i have trouble sleeping at night and jeno suggested it might help,” you tell him.

“so just for sleep?” he asks.

“well, yes.. and no,” you start. you finally have the opportunity to learn the ropes from someone who actually knows what they were doing, but would he be down knowing you were starting from ground zero? he peers at you, noting that your expression looks a little conflicted.

“hey, no need to feel shy about it. everyone has to start somewhere,” he assures.

his words have more of an effect on you than you would expect, feeling touched at the reassurance of someone you barely know. it’s crazy how one sentence can have you feeling like you can trust him with whatever, but you nod in response.

“i think.. i’d like to learn at least the basics about weed, or even more if you’re willing? i’ve always been interested but never had the chance to explore it, but something tells me that’s what you’re all about,” you let your inner thoughts spill. he noticeably lights up at your words.

“and you’re absolutely right! trust me, as long as you’re willing to learn, i’m more than willing to teach,” he chimes, excited for someone who could potentially be as into weed as he is.

like you, none of his close friends really indulge in the substance, and it’s not like he can smoke on the regular with his customers, so he feels genuine excitement at the prospect of a weed buddy.

the sight of his lit up face at your curiosity really reassures your decision to trust jeno’s recommendation. as if on cue, his kettle starts whistling and he gets up to turn off the burner.

you watch as he pours the water into a mug he had set to the side. your eyes trail over his outfit: a comfortable looking brown hoodie paired with some ripped jeans that hug his long legs just right.

your eyes move back up to his face, only to see him staring back at you with an eyebrow raised.

“like what you see?” he asks with a teasing grin. you groan to hide your embarrassment, now seeing what jeno meant when he called him a corny flirt. but you really were checking him out, so you quickly try to come up with an excuse.

“i’m just thinking you don’t really look like you’d be a plug,” you redirect. he shakes his head.

“and what do you think a plug should look like?” he asks, face the tiniest bit more serious. the question surprises you.

“i guess, a little scarier?” you say quietly. you do imagine a plug being that way — quiet, intimidating, maybe a few tattoos. definitely not the man in front of you with his big brown eyes behind a pair of silver framed glasses, fluffy hair and even fluffier hoodie. he laughs at your answer.

“and that is where you are wrong,” he tuts at you, waving a finger. “stoners come in all shapes and sizes, and this plug of yours just happens to be incredibly charming and handsome.” he wiggles his eyebrows at you, and you can’t hold back your laughter.

aside from the last part, his words ring true, and you feel a little silly at your preconceived notion. one of the main things that has stuck out from him so far is his lack of judgement, and it’s something you admire. maybe this really is a good thing for you.

“anyways, when are we gonna start these lessons?” you ask, returning to your original goal.

“we can start now if you’ve got time,” he smiles, taking a sip of his tea. you check your phone, noting that not too long has passed since you arrived. you don’t have any plans besides trying to catch up on sleep, but you know that will probably be futile. why not?

“i’ve got time,” you let him know, and he meets you with a bright smile. he gets you some water, telling you to get comfy for his “weed 101” course.

“so let’s start with sativa vs. indica.” he types something in his phone, pulling up a slideshow. “all weed will fall into one of these two, or a combination of some sort.”

“you didn’t have to make an entire presentation??” you gasp. he must really be that eager to teach you.

“just let it happen, trust the process,” he insists. “anyways, you’ve got that sleeping problem, so anything indica would be your best friend,” he explains, showing you different examples on his phone.

“and what about sativa?” you ask, and he grins.

“that, my friend, is what you smoke when you want to have fun.”

you quickly realize that there is so much more to weed than you initially thought.

he jumps from topic to topic on different strains, smoking vs. edibles, joints vs. blunts, pipes vs. bongs — it was a lot. your head spins as you try to recall all the information he’s given you, and he takes notice at the shift in your demeanor, even if you try to feign the same eagerness you had coming into it.

“is it too much? we can take it slower, break it into sessions maybe,” he offers. you’re really wowed at how down he actually is to do this, and if you’re being completely honest, hanging out with an attractive guy while learning about and potentially indulging in some weed plus hopefully getting a good night’s sleep out of it? it sounds too good to be true.

“won’t that be taking too much of your time?” you ask worriedly.

“i’m true to my word, as long as you’re willing to learn, sunshine, i’m all yours,” he says, mouth pulled into his same grin as he downs the last bit of his tea, probably cold now after hours of talking. “plus the next few times you come, i’ll bring my stuff so you can try it out.”

you know you aren’t immune to his charms, and your face warms at the affectionate words. despite the corniness jeno complained about, hyuck had a way of keeping you on your toes while giving you an odd feeling of ease.

“i think i’d like that a lot, thank you hyuck,” you beam. an alarm on his phone rings, and his eyes widen.

“it’s already time to close? time flies,” he says getting up from the seat to start closing up shop. you get up too, ready to head home. “wait,” his voice halts you.

“are you hungry?” he asks a little timidly, a stark contrast for how casual he’s been this entire time.

you’ve been there for a while, and you’d be lying if you said you weren’t starving at that point. “yeah definitely, my last meal was breakfast,” you recall.

“okay sit tight, then. dinner’s on me, let me close up really quick,” he smiles, and before you can protest, he’s rushing through the break room door. a smile rests on your own face. you pull out your phone to check the time, seeing messages from jeno.

4:29pm jenjen: u ok? he didn’t eat you did he

5:50pm jenjen: dude wait are u ok neither of you are responding to me 5:50pm jenjen: don’t replace me ):

7:15pm you: stop you big baby we were just having a good conversation 7:16pm you: ngl i’m glad you introduced us, i have a good feeling about this jen (:

even after you insist you pay for your own and treat him as thanks for his lessons, hyuck stubbornly refuses and pays for the entire dinner bill. as he pulls up to your apartment to drop you off at home, he places a box in your lap before you exit his car.

“tea?” you ask, eyeing the box. reaching over to your lap again he taps on the box, punctuating his words.

“this right here is something i mixed up a while ago. i’m not the biggest edible person, so when i don’t feel like smoking, i’ll drink some of this. there’s barely any weed in it, but steep it for like a minute and try some an hour or two before you sleep.”

he looks incredibly proud of his own creation, but you’re a bit conflicted. it’s difficult to meet his energy when you’re nervous at the thought of trying weed for the first time on your own.

you don’t voice your nerves, not wanting to dampen his excitement. he’s already given you a lot and you just met the guy.

“thank you hyuck, i appreciate it.” you open his car door, getting down with the box in hand. “see you next week?”

“no problem at all, try that and let me know how it goes okay? i’m kinda not the biggest texter, so call for anything,” he says softly. “i’ll see you next week, sunshine.”

with the nickname sending a buzz through you, you close his car door, padding up to the front of your apartment complex before turning to wave. he waves back, flashing his headlights, and he doesn’t leave until you’re completely inside.

you go into your kitchen, placing the box on your counter. you open it, pulling out a paper accompanied by little tied sachets containing an assortment of dried leaves.

steep for two minutes with boiling water, can steep longer if you want a stronger tea.

-h

you smile to yourself. lifting a sachet to your nose, you note that it smells like a regular bag of tea. he did say there was barely any weed in there, so maybe it wouldn’t hurt to try?

you double back on that thought. you really don’t know how you’re gonna react to it, and the anxieties crawl back up your throat. what if it doesn’t turn out well, and you’re all by yourself with no way of getting the substance out of you?

you don’t want to risk it. you put the contents back in the box and place it in one of your cabinets. maybe you’ll invite jeno over to try it with you so at least you’d have someone with you if it all goes wrong.

you get ready for bed, hoping that the night brings you even a little sleep.

your hopes are unfounded when you wake up to a call from your manager, begging you to come into work to help fix an urgent problem. she promises you double pay and breakfast, and reluctantly, you accept.

you head to work with only the idea of some extra money in your pocket keeping you going, but you know already the second you step foot into your work building that you will be fighting for your life for the next few hours.

by the time the sun has set, you’re dragging yourself through your apartment door, wanting nothing more than to sleep for the next 24 hours. you change out of your work clothes, hopping straight into bed and closing your eyes in hopes that sleep will take you.

when your eyes open an hour later, frustration bubbling at your throat from an hour of tossing and turning despite your utter exhaustion, you rip your sheets off, heading to your kitchen.

you open a cabinet, taking out a familiar little box. you’re willing to give this a try — anything to get some good sleep. but anxieties still run through you as you take out your phone to text your best friend.

8:35pm you: jen wyd?

you wait for a few minutes staring tiredly at your phone until a message pops up.

8:41pm jenjen: out with jaem what’s up?

you sigh, letting your friend know to forget it, and open the box. there sits a familiar note, and you trace over the neat handwritng.

call for anything. hyuck’s words ring in your ears. before you know it, you’re moving on autopilot and repeated ringing sounds through your speaker, his name displayed on the screen.

rrrring. rrrring. with every ring you feel more anxious, debating on just hanging up and resorting to melatonin, and when it reaches his voicemail, your heart sinks.

you end the call, placing your phone in your pocket and deciding to look for your forgotten sleep supplements. you don’t even take more than a couple of steps when your phone starts buzzing. you answer without even checking the id.

“__? what’s up?” his voice rings through the speakers and relief floods your system.

“hyuck, sorry to bother, but are you busy right now?” you ask.

“free for you, and not a bother, don’t apologize,” he says, and you can hear the smile on his voice. your cheeks twitch into a slight smile at his sweet words, but the tiredness seeps into your words.

“i’m gonna try your tea.. i’m so exhausted and i can’t sleep but i’m just so nervous about trying this by myself — oh and i called jeno but he’s busy — i’m sorry i ju-” your sleepy spiel is interrupted by his voice.

“woah, woah, sunshine, let’s slow it down a bit. no need to apologize for anything, really,” he assures.

you feel as though you could cry from the combination of relief and sheer exhaustion, now a little calmer explaining your circumstances and nerves at your first time having any sort of weed.

“hey, go ahead and try it, and i’ll stay on the phone until you fall asleep, okay? you can tell me if you’re feeling bad or weird or anything and i’ll be right here.”

“promise?” you ask hopefully. it’s not ideal to be asking someone you’ve known for literally a day to stay on the phone with you, but your tired mind and body scream sleep over shame.

he laughs. “you’re so cute, yes i promise.” you try not to show how much of an effect his words have on you, masking your stirring feelings by warming some water.

in the next 20 minutes, you’re sitting in bed with a cup of hot tea, taking small sips and letting the aroma waft as you chat over the phone. he’s right, the tea tastes nothing like the pungent scent of weed you are familiar with. his tea is calming and herbal.

“tell me about your day,” he requests, and you start from the call from your manager in the morning, explaining how some intern almost cost your company a client under your project, and you had to save their ass.

“you’re too good for them,” he says smugly.

“you’re just saying that, but thank you,” you reply, and he denies it, whining slightly.

“i would never say anything i don’t mean,” he asserts. he acts offended that you would even insinuate he was only flattering you, and you try not to read too much into his words, now halfway through your cup of tea.

“how about you tell me about your day, hyuck?” you ask, changing the subject.

he’s happy to talk about his day, lamenting spending his entire weekend at the shop, but explains how there were a group of unique customers today.

“this guy came in with a few friends, asking us if we have anything that could calm animals?? i honestly don’t know shit about pets but i don’t think tea and coffee are safe.” you chuckle at his animated telling of the story. “he had reeaaally nice eyebrows, though.”

your cup now sits empty on your nightstand, your head resting heavily on your pillow as you listen to him. he’s so expressive, and you hum in response to his ramblings. you have no thoughts besides how pleasing his voice is to your ears.

your eyes feel heavier and heavier as his voice sounds more and more distant.

when you wake up to your alarm set for work chiming the next morning, you feel the most rested you have in months. checking your phone, you see a missed message notification.

10:48pm hyuck =) : sleep tight, sunshine

a while has passed since your first go at the tea, and it’s three weeks until you are able to see hyuck again. at the beginning of those three weeks, you found that every couple of days hyuck would call, checking in on you. the first few calls never lasted as long as your first did, but soon you found yourself wanting to hear more of his voice.

you started to ask him how his day was before he could hang up, and after a few times of sharing back and forth, nightly calls to talk about your days became a routine.

in all honesty, you wanted to see him sooner, but the work days kicked your ass and different friends made plans on your days off. despite the chaos in other parts of your life, it felt like your nightly calls were what got you through the tiring days.

you were almost out of tea, and resorted to having the tea every other day to save. something must have shifted when you met hyuck, as even without the tea, sleep came much easier with the exception of a few days.

when you call hyuck on a friday night after work, hoping to restock and spend some time with him over the weekend, he meets your request with enthusiasm.

“didn’t realize you missed my lessons so much, my #1 student,” his teasing rings over the speakers.

“actually, youtube is sounding really good right about now,” you reply, putting up a flat tone at his remarks.

“i’m kiddinggggg jeez, come to the shop around 6 tomorrow? dress warm, we’ll try something new,” he instructs, and you agree.

sitting in your living room, you take a sip of the usual tea, noting that you’re down to your last bag. you drift off to sleep that night, and instead of the anxieties you had felt the night before the first time you met him, excitement floods your system at the thought of seeing him.

the next day’s lesson brings you to a new location, still NCTeaHouse, but the cozy back patio behind the store. strung up hanging lights are already lit, given how the sun has started to set, and the lounge couch makes it look like an ideal hangout spot.

“if you see me napping back here one of these days, you better not say anything,” you joke with hyuck.

“you’re always free to, as long as i’m invited,” he winks and you’re shaking your head at his unabashed self. you’ve gotten a lot more used to his flirty words, coming to expect at least a line or two during your nightly conversations.

“anyways, you’re probably wondering why we came out here tonight.” you nod, and he lays the contents of his pockets on the small table in front of the two of you.

“i thought we could try smoking today, if you’re comfortable,” he grins, arranging everything on the table, and you’re impressed by the assortment.

he’s got different bags of weed, wrapping papers, lighters, and little tins. he gets right into explaining, pulling out the contents of the tins. he holds up two rolls, one a little thicker than the other.

“this right here is a joint, it’s just weed. this thicker one is a blunt. it’s got nicotine in the paper so the high is a little different.” he hands them to you to look at and continues. “i prefer blunts, but depending on what you put in them, a regular joint would probably be better for someone who hasn’t smoked before.”

you never doubted jeno’s words, but hyuck really is living up to your friend’s praise of his weed knowledge. you nod in understanding at his clear explanations, handing them both back to him. he sets aside the joint and starts to put away the blunt until you stop him.

“let’s do the blunt,” you quickly interject. despite wanting to go with the more beginner-friendly option, something in you wanted to do what he liked. maybe that way you could get a little taste of his world.

“wait, are you sure? it might be a bit harsh,” he warns.

“trust me, i can take it,” you say stubbornly. he pauses almost unnoticeably with an unreadable expression at your words before it shifts into a dubious look.

“if you say soooo,” he teases. you slap his arm lightly, huffing as he laughs before getting up to grab some water before you begin. he settles back into the couch once he’s back. he picks out a blunt and his lighter, turning to you with a more serious expression.

“this high will probably feel a bit more intense than anything the tea could do, so just take it easy okay? if you start feeling bad, please tell me,” he emphasizes. “promise?” he holds out his pinky.

you nod, linking your own pinky around his. he tightens the hold and you feel your heart tighten a bit in turn. the emotions whirling in you are too complex to decipher, ranging from slight anxiety at the thought of actually being high to gratitude for hyuck’s reassurance.

“just watch, okay?” he places the blunt between his lips, lighter flicking at its edge as he inhales for a few seconds. he holds the smoke in, rotating the blunt a few times before straining his neck up to exhale a hefty cloud of smoke.

the sight leaves you breathless. hyuck is attractive, and of that you have been sure since the day you met.

but this hyuck, sitting next to you in his black leather jacket and dark jeans on the baggier side stirs something inside of you. it’s just one hit, but you’re outright entranced by his movements. he brings the blunt back to his mouth for another hit, and flicks it on an ash tray sitting on the table as he holds in the smoke.

your eyes don’t leave his hands, adorned in a few simple rings as he moves as if it’s just muscle memory, smooth and rehearsed. he again lifts his head to release the smoke, and this time you can see a vein that trails down his thick neck as it comes into full view.

what is likely not even half a minute feels like an eternity to you, and it takes a couple calls of your name to snap you out of your trance.

“earth to __? wanna try now?” hyuck waves his hand in front of you, offering the freshly ashed blunt.

“just a couple seconds, and not too strong of a pull. hold it in for a few seconds before releasing the smoke,” he instructs as you pick it out of his grasp. you nod, bringing it to your mouth.

you do as he says, pulling only for a few seconds before passing it back to him, intending to hold the smoke in. you don’t get to that point though, for as soon as the two second mark hits, your throat constricts as you involuntarily cough up the smoke you pulled from the blunt.

curses leave hyuck’s mouth as he quickly puts out the blunt, scrambling to hand you the water he brought earlier. you take it quickly, letting the water soothe your throat as you continue coughing between sips.

“are you okay?” he asks, worried expression on his face.

“i-i’m good, i thought i was gonna do better than that for my first one though,” you admit sheepishly.

“hey, we’ve got a lot of time to practice,” he reassures.

you’re not sure if the weed is already hitting you, but the warm hanging lights seem to illuminate his face even more. his fingers play with a silver chain laying on his white shirt.

“do you want to try another? or are you good?” he asks, peering into your face to check for any signs of dicomfort.

“i’ll try one more time,” you resolve, and he grins, firing the lighter back up. he holds the blunt up in front of you, and your hand moves to grab it, but he doesn’t let go, keeping it steady in front of your mouth.

“go for it, sunshine,” he gives you the go ahead, still holding it for you as your mind screams at the intimacy. you lean forward a bit to take a small hit of the blunt, trying to ignore his eyes burning into you. you make sure to inhale a little less than the first time.

“goood, just like that, now hold it in for a bit.”

you lean back into the chair as hyuck brings the blunt to his own lips, taking a drag out of it as he watches you carefully. this time, your throat doesn’t constrict, and you blow the smoke upwards emulating his earlier movements.

“that’s my girl,” he praises, smile stretched wide. you were doing so well, but his praise catches you at the very last bit of smoke leaving your throat, causing a hitch in your throat as you lightly cough.

he hands you the water again, patting your back as you curse under your breath.

“don’t worry, it’s still your first time, and i’ve heard coughing after smoking gets you even higher,” he coos, pats turning into gentle circles on your back.

you feel hyperaware of his touch, but when his hand separates from your form a piece of you longs to have it back. you glance at him as he takes another hit. you might not necessarily know what feeling high feels like yet, but whatever you’re feeling right now might just be it.

the anxiety and gratitude you felt coming into the smoke session has melted into something else — a desire of some sort that you can’t put your finger on. you know that’s not from the substance now in your system.

all you know is that the fuzzy feeling in your body and mind along with the dark-haired man next to you is something you could get used to.

after that day, something definitely shifted. you see hyuck a lot more, and every time he comes more than excited to teach you something new.

the next time you see him it’s pipes. he came prepared with two — one for you and him, and sent you home with the one you were using once you got the hang of it, insisting it liked you better.

another time is bongs. this one was pretty hard for you to get a hang of, and his hands guided yours on how to hold the bong and when to take out the bowl. it was hard to stay focused on the steps with his casual physical contact, so you’d have to revisit that.

one of the days, he even brings his dab rig set up to show you. you were completely lost with this one, and he didn’t force it, just assuring you that you could always come to him and he’d have it all ready and set for you.

he takes pride in showing you his creations, and is always quick to affirm you as you learn. while he never explicitly said he was doing it, you could tell after the first time you smoked that he wanted to find ways to make smoking a little easier on you.

you recall a specific day you came over to the shop, promised the “hyuckie special” by its namesake over the phone the night before. you were surprised to see someone other than hyuck in the shop once you arrived, especially since it was after hours.

“are you the one donghyuck’s been bringing around here?” a tall man with ashy brown hair tucked behind his ears stood behind the counter. he was really handsome, but also slightly intimidating. the tattoos on his exposed arms reminded you of your initial idea of what a plug looked like.

you muttered a timid yes as you approached the man. he definitely looked a little older than you and hyuck.

“johnny, i’m the owner of your little love nest,” he joked, hand reached out to shake yours.

you shook his hand, introducing yourself as you tried to tell him you’re just friends. before you could, hyuck busted through the front door, eyes going to your joined hands.

he stomped up to you, throwing an arm around your shoulder as you stepped back from the counter.

“what are we talking about?” he asked, pointed look at johnny. johnny just laughed loudly, clutching his stomach as you stood there, confused.

“relax lover boy,” he regained composure, turning to you. “thanks for keeping him busy, i should’ve known something was up when he stopped texting me every week whining about the shop.”

hyuck’s hand tightened around your shoulder, and he started tugging you around the back.

“don’t listen to him, bye,” he called not even looking back. johnny just waved, trying to keep down another laugh at his cousin’s erratic behavior.

“bye, __, see you around!” he waved, you returning it as best you could as hyuck pushed you through the door. as soon as you reached the back patio, a sulky hyuck started grumbling.

“you won’t be seeing him, he’s barely at his own shop anyways.” he plopped down on the couch, emptying his pockets as usual.

a lilac colored tin stuck out among his materials, and you picked it up to see what it was. his familiar neat handwriting spelled out your name.

“made that one for you, think you’d really like it,” he noticed you observing it, sulkiness gone.

a floral, herbal scent wafted to your senses once you opened it, and inside you saw a few joints.

“that’s the hyuckie special — or should i say the __ special?” he pondered, taking them from you to show them off. “i know you secretly prefer joints so don’t argue with me, but this one is a custom blend of a hybrid strain and dried lavender, you know, for your sleeping problem.”

you didn’t know what to say besides thank you over and over, touched at his consideration and the fact that he made a blend just for you. only for you.

from then on, that special blend quickly became your favorite as it really did help you relax a bit more. he would have his blunts of choice while you settled on the special formula made just for you.

your time with hyuck definitely shifted, but it wasn’t the only thing — something in you shifted as well.

that desire you felt that first night you smoked only burns brighter and hotter — the phone calls aren’t ever enough anymore, you need to see him, to be with him. even with a busy schedule with work and other friends, you make time, because being with him feels like nothing you have ever felt before.

somewhere along the routine of monotony in your life, maybe you subconsciously pushed yourself to the back of your priorities. but with hyuck, the way he takes care of you just makes you feel so prioritized, so seen.

he remembers your favorites and preferences even if mentioned only in passing, teases you with inside jokes only he could know, follows up on any gossip or worries you share, picks you up and drops you off at home, and never lets you pay for anything — food or weed alike.

you’ve never had an easier time falling asleep, with or without weed, and you can only assume that this connection with hyuck gave you a way of navigating the anxieties and negative feelings that plagued you. he felt like your person.

you could swear jeno’s eyes could fall out of his head from how wide-eyed he stares at you as you tell him all of this, from the generous lessons to the custom blend to your complex feelings growing by the day.

“you better not tell him any of this,” you warn, but jeno’s expression is still in shock. “what is it?”

“are you sure we’re talking about the same guy? hyuck? like lee donghyuck??” jeno asks in disbelief.

“yes?? who else would i be talking about?” you’re confused by your best friend’s reaction.

“no fucking way, because the hyuck i know would never do any of that. i don’t even think he knows when my birthday is,” he says.

“to be fair, i don’t think he knows when mine is either?” you offer. jeno looks straight into your eyes, placing a hand on your shoulder.

“no i mean to say — he doesn’t pay anyone that much attention, even his friends, and i know he’d never willingly shell out his weed money, let alone every single time you’re together,” he explains. “i thought the weed lesson was gonna be a one- or two-time thing, not a whole series.”

you didn’t think so either. the time you spend together isn’t even lesson-like anymore, with it just being smoke or tea sessions with endless conversation. there’s no clear definitions, but you know you need to ask jeno’s opinion.

“do you think he likes me? like likes me?” you ask your best friend. it feels silly to ask like that, to have feelings that makes you unable to think of anyone else.

but you ask even though you think you know. you’d be blind to not notice his actions, the look in his eyes, and johnny’s insinuations. jeno’s confirmation of how special his treatment of you is just further confirmation.

“honestly, in my eyes he’s down bad, but do you like him*?*” jeno asks, unsure if he’s liking where your conversation is going.

you’d be a liar if you said you didn’t. somewhere along the course of this whole thing, that desire that planted the first time you ever met him grew every time afterward and bloomed into something you could no longer contain.

you never tried to deny it, but you’re realizing this is your first time actually admitting it. you look down, suddenly shy under the focused gaze of your best friend.

“jen, i do. i really do like him,” you confess, entire body warming at the quiet declaration.

jeno’s quiet for a second before letting out a groan in response. you look up to see him with a hand over his face.

“what’s wrong?” you’re slightly offended at that response, but jeno just shakes his head.

“nothing, just always knew he was a corny flirt, just never thought you’d eat that up,” he muses. “he’s annoying, but he’s not a bad guy.”

“should i tell him?” you ask, hoping for advice. jeno shrugs.

“that’s up to you, i don’t know what your relationship with him looks like besides what you’ve told me,” he replies, not giving you an answer you so desperately want. “what i do know is i’ll kick his ass if he ever hurts you, and you can never replace me. got it?”

you lunge at your best friend, squeezing him affectionately and barraging him with promises of unchanging friendship.

you sit at your dining table reading the label of a little bag.

“a friend left this at mine the other day and told me to keep it, but i don’t fuck with weed so you can have it, little miss stoner,” jeno had said, giving you a bag of gummy edibles before dropping you off at home after dinner.

you thanked him for it at the time, taking it with you inside. edibles are the form of weed you are least experienced with. hyuck had explained them briefly, but you’ve never done them with him since he doesn’t really like them too much. he reasoned that smoking helps him control his intake better.

you’re feeling a little daring tonight, however. you have a lot more experience with weed now, and your tolerance has definitely risen.

though you’re a little nervous about trying them without hyuck, it’s too late to call and you feel a bit more confident at your weed capabilities. the you from the beginning of this weed journey would be surprised at how much you’ve changed.

it’s just a little gummy, how bad could it be? plus you have the next day off, kicking that worry. you pull out a single pineapple gummy, splitting it into halves before eating one. you settle into your couch, turning on your tv to let the edible kick in.

when an hour passes and you still don’t feel anything, you’re confused. you look up how long it takes for an edible to hit and check the package for an expiration date, but everything seems fine. has your tolerance risen that much?

you pick up the other half of the gummy, looking at it carefully before deciding it wouldn’t hurt to have a little more. the dosage per piece is not anything concerning, so you eat the other half without thinking too much.

when your eyes start to blur in the next 5 minutes, you know you’ve made a mistake.

you’re glued to your couch, staring at the ceiling as the high runs through your body, feeling a slight tingle from the top of your head to the tips of your toes, coming and going in intense waves. your thoughts race, and 99% of your thoughts are consumed by hyuck, hyuck, and hyuck. **

an uncertain amount of time has passed, your phone forgotten somewhere in your apartment, but you feel like you’re in an endless cycle of a million thoughts turning into no thoughts at all, all while your body is experiencing such a new, yet heavy feeling.

the smoking high is definitely different from this edible high, and you start to understand why hyuck prefers the former.

you don’t feel like you’re in control of yourself at all, and the feeling is entirely too overwhelming. the second half of that edible hits, with the high intensifying and your thoughts jumping yet again.

a feeling of dread runs through you.

you had been doing well keeping a general positive/neutral train of thought on that first half of the edible, but the second a single negative thought hits you, you find yourself unable to stop the spiral.

why did you do this to yourself? don’t you need to focus on other things? are you going to let this be another thing that drags you down? what does hyuck really think of you? do you really think he feels the same way as you?

you fight back against your own thoughts, wrestling to tell yourself that everything with him has been nothing with good, but the intensity of this high brings an entirely new side to all of this — paranoia.

hyuck had explained before that paranoia could come with being high, but you had overtime forgotten the possibility. being high has given nothing but good times and relaxation, but all of that could probably be attributed to the company you had getting there.

you don’t even realize you have tears streaming out of your eyes until your hand comes back wet after rubbing your face.

it’s all too much, and more than anything your mind screams that you need hyuck.

you force yourself to get up, hazy eyes looking for your phone, spotting it on the dining table.

1:27am. hyuck might still be awake gaming, and you can only hope that he is. you crumple to the floor as you quickly find his contact and call him.

only one ring passes when he picks up.

“what’s up, sunshine?” his voice rings through the speaker and you can hear the click of his mouse and keyboard in the background. immediately a sense of relief washes through your body, slightly breaking through the high and has the tears flowing harder than before.

“h-hyuck,” you sob, and immediately the sound of clicking stops.

“are you crying? what’s wrong? are you okay?” his concern makes you want to cry even more, but more than that you want him here with you.

“hyuck, i-i took an edible and i think i took too much and i’m so overwhelmed right now — i can’t stop thinking and crying and i’m just so scared,” you weep, and you hear rustling coming from the phone and the clinking of keys before you’re even done with your sentence.

“stay on the phone with me, baby, i’ll be right there, what’s your apartment number?” he assures.

he really knows you like the back of his hand. somehow, he knows that what you need most is him. even if he didn’t know that, the fact that he’s rushing over without you even having to ask helps you shut down the voices that tell you he doesn’t care.

10 minutes of affirmations and sweet words come as you cry, trying so desperately to hold back from telling him everything you’ve been feeling, including what you feel about him.

when his call cuts off with a knock at your front door, you stumble over to let him in, legs having fallen asleep from your position on the floor as you called him.

as soon as you open the door and see him, hair freshly washed and in a hoodie and sweats, the anxiety leaves you like a spell. his glasses are slightly fogged, and he’s catching his breath from rushing up here.

the second he gets a glimpse of your puffy eyes and tear streaked face, he comes in, enveloping you in the warmest, tightest hug.

you immediately melt into him, wrapping your arms around him as he leans back against the front door. you stay there for a few minutes, emptying your eyes out as he comforts you.

“hey, why is my pretty girl crying? what are you so scared of? i’m right here,” he coos as one arm remains securely around you as the other hand alternates between patting your head and massaging the back of your neck.

when the tears seem to have subsided, he waddles over with you still in his arms to your living room couch, and you remain firmly attached to him. he checks your face for anymore tears, and when he finds none, sits you on the couch to get you some water.

“where are your cups?” he asks, checking the cabinets, and you tell him there’s bottles in the fridge. you look at him from your spot on the couch, and immediately feel your heart pang.

this is the first time he’s actually been inside your apartment, but you can’t help but think that he looks so perfect here — that your living space somehow feels more complete than it ever has.

when he sits down with you, handing you tissues and water, he has a hand on your arm, rubbing up and down as you gulp down some water, only now realizing how dry your mouth is.

“so you wanna tell me what’s going through that pretty head of yours? and who you got these edibles from? because i know it wasn’t fucking me.” some agitation peeks through his otherwise neutral tone, but his eyes are serious as he waits for your answer.

you tell him about how jeno gave it to you, and hand him the package as he reads the label.

“you had one piece right? that should be fine, but it looks like you might be a bit more sensitive to this since it’s your first time with edibles.” he scolds you lightly, tapping your forehead. “still, i wish you would have called me to at least be on the phone with you when you tried it.”

“i-i wanted to, trust me. but it was late and i thought i could handle it,” you explain.

“that’s why i hate those things, only take them when i really want to feel high as shit, but look what they’ve done to you, baby,” he frowns, going back to rubbing your arms up and down. “any weed needs, you come to me, okay? don’t need my girl going to others for that when i’ve got more than enough.”

my girl.

you realize in your hazy state that his usual “sunshine” has been replaced with other, more endearing, names — my girl, my pretty girl, baby. the sound of his voice has always been addicting to you, but the affectionate names leaving his mouth take it a step further.

you want to hear more. with a boldness that could only be fueled by the weed still running its course through your system, you lean into him, laying your head on his shoulder.

“can you call me that again?” you murmur into his shoulder.

“what?” his voice right next to your ear sends chills all over your body.

“you know.. your girl.. i really like how that sounds.” **immediately he’s separated from you, hands holding you at the upper arms as he looks at you with wide eyes.

“what?” he repeats again, and you could almost laugh at how shocked he looks at you mentioning a name he called you.

“your girl.. or baby too..” you say, dazed. you are definitely coming down from your high, but the ensuing sleepiness is making you even more honest. but more than anything, you want to be honest with him right now.

“wanna be your baby, hyuck.”

he lets out a pained groan at your words, running a hand over his face.

“__, you’re high as fuck. you don’t know what you’re saying,” he says, bottom lip between his teeth.

“i know what i’m saying,” you hook your finger around his chain, tugging him a little closer. “i want you to be my baby, too.”

you lean in, closing the distance between you as your faces hover just centimeters from each other. hyuck holds his breath, eyes darting from your glossy eyes down to your lips. he can’t help it, eyes getting hazy as you close the distance, kissing him.

he returns your energy, pressing closer to you with his hands grasping your waist. he moves to deepen the kiss, but after a few seconds the pressure on your waist increases, shutting his eyes tighter before pushing you back slightly.

“i hope you still mean this in the morning, because i want to be yours too,” he has a slightly pained smile. “but you’re so high right now, i don’t want to do anything you’d regret once you’re sober.” you whine at him trying to kiss him again while he stops you, holding your shoulders.

“don’t tempt me, you don’t know how hard you’re making this for me, baby.” he gets up, tugging you up along with him. “let’s get you to bed, sunshine.” he lets you lead him to your bedroom, his hands set on your shoulders, and you plop down on your bed, eyes already heavy.

you hold out your arms to him.

“sleep here tonight?” you ask, and he groans after slapping a hand over his eyes.

“you’re testing me,” he chokes out. you jut out your lower lip, but your eyes threaten to shut any moment.

“i’m not testing you, i just want to wake up to you, is that too much to ask?” in his eyes, you look so cute cuddled up in your bed, eyes begging him to stay. his heart soars as he realizes the sight he’s seen in his dreams could be a reality, starting now.

“i really can’t win against you, just give me a second.” he leaves for a little while, turning off the lights throughout your apartment and making sure the front door is locked before sliding into bed with you.

he immediately pulls you by the waist closer to him, and you, drifting to sleep, cuddle into his chest.

“i won’t do anything okay? don’t worry about anything,” he promises sincerely.

“thank you hyuck.. thank you..” you mumble a bit, nuzzling into him further, sleep taking over. he just holds you tighter.

“sleep tight, sunshine.”

that’s the last thing you hear before you enter into a deep, deep sleep, feeling secure and warm wrapped up in hyuck’s arms.

you wake up to soft snoring and long arms wrapped around you, and as you rub the sleep from your eyes his face comes into full view.

hyuck is sleeping so peacefully in front of you, and if one thing remains from your raging high last night, it’s that hyuck just fits perfectly in your space, it feels overwhelmingly good in his arms, and you want him here always.

“i like you,” the words come out as a whisper as you brush some hair from his forehead. he pops one eye open, illiciting a gasp from you.

“all good, sunshine?” he asks, and you nod. in a second he’s closing the distance between you two, laying a tender kiss on your lips. his arms tighten around you as you lean into him, letting yourself indulge in his warm kisses.

“this isn’t a dream right?” you ask sleepily, and he chuckles at the way you open and close your eyes to see if he’s still there.

“you dream about me?” he grins, and you hide your face back in his chest, nodding slowly. “good, because i dream about you too.”

any sleepiness you had has dissipated completely, and you feel like your heart would explode if you met his eyes right now. his hand, however, meets your chin to tilt your head back up.

“i like you too, by the way, if it wasn’t already obvious,” and with his own confession he meets your lips once more.

it takes a while for the two of you to get out of bed, with both of you dozing off and on, sharing lazy kisses and cuddles until hyuck’s stomach starts rumbling.

“maybe we should get something to eat?” you suggest, starting to slip off the blanket. he’s quick to try and stop you, but before he can catch you you’ve stood up, tugging hyuck by the arm.

“5 more minutes, pleaaaase,” he whines, arm going limp at your efforts to get him up.

“it’s already almost dinnertime, hyuck,” you check your phone, surprised at how much time has passed. his glasses sit next to your phone on the nightstand. while you’re distracted, he sits up at the edge of the bed, looking at you with a darker expression.

his hands trail down your waist, squeezing lightly once he reaches your hips. you drop your phone to be met with his hooded eyes trained on your lips. his eyes meet yours, and your breath hitches as he tightens his grip on your hips.

“i think i’d like to eat something else,” he whispers, leaning into your neck, peppering kisses from the bottom of your chin down your throat. you let out a surprised whimper at the sensation, chills running down your arms.

you move your head down, wanting to kiss him, and as if he reads your mind, his lips meet yours with a passion mirroring the one from the night before.

“lay down, let me get my fill, sunshine,” he urges, feeling himself already incredibly hard at the thought of himself between your legs.

“we’ve been in bed all day, we should take showers and eat first or something,” you start, but you’re cut off with a sharp tug, hyuck pulling you beside him. he sinks to his knees by your legs hanging off the bed.

“later, i need you so bad, you have no idea.” his hands move under your shirt as he loops his hands in the waistband of your sleep shorts.

“do you want this, baby?” he asks as you lean back on your arms, meeting his pleading eyes from his spot between your legs. you gnaw on your lip, already feeling the dampness on your panties. you do want this. so bad.

“i want you, hyuck,” you give him the go ahead. he’s more than willing to give you everything you want and more. he pulls your shorts down your legs, groaning at the sight of the wet patch on your underwear.

he pulls that off as well, spreading your lips with his pointer and middle fingers as he admires your core.

“stop staring, it’s embarrassing,” you look away, hips shifting as you feel yourself getting more and more turned on by the second.

“just admiring, baby,” he states warmly, glancing up at your embarrassed expression as he wraps his arms around your legs, hands digging in as he grabs at the flesh of your thighs.

he leans in, licking a stripe from your entrance up to your clit, ending his trail with a swirl of your bud. you moan out at the sensation, clutching at your sheets as he really gets his fill.

he’s messy, tongue going from prodding at your entrance to his face moving side to side over your clit. a growl leaves his throat as he feels your hands move to grip his hair.

“you don’t even know what you were doing to me last night, baby,” he groans into your cunt. “had me going fucking crazy.”

one of his arms unwraps from your thigh, hand pushing at your legs to keep them spread as his long fingers prod at your entrance, one entering you slowly as you grip his hair even tighter. he drags it in and out of you in time with the circles he licks around your clit.

“you’re my baby, right?” he asks, voice sending vibrations through you. he inserts another finger into your entrance and curls them into you, feeling around for a spot that will get you moving just right. he’s stretching you out so well, getting you prepared, wanting you to feel good.

you can’t even respond, already feeling your mind start to wander off, feeling a high so different from every other one he’s shown you. he finds a spot that makes you squeal just a bit higher, and he pistons his fingers in and out to hit that spot just right.

“where’s my sunshine from last night? the one hanging on to me, cute as fuck,” he recalls your high state, how you just melted into him in a different way from how he had you now.

“come on, one more time, don’t you remember? wanna be your baby, hyuck,” raising his voice to a teasing tone in a half-hearted imitation of you. his fingers don’t falter in the slightest.

“please sunshine, let me hear that again?” your mouth, open from the cries leaving you, can’t form any words. he leans down to lay a hard suck on your clit, sending you over the edge as you cry out, legs clamping down on his head as he rides out your orgasm.

he detaches from you as your legs drop, and he stands up between them to get a full view of you fucked out for him.

“fuck, baby, you look so fucking good right now. straight out of my dreams.” he palms himself over his sweats, feeling like he could burst any second, before ripping off his hoodie.

the sight of him standing over you, silver chain lying on his bare chest, is also something out your own dreams. you can feel yourself clench seeing his cock straining through his sweats. you catch your breath, mustering the energy squeeze him between your thighs.

in a second he’s pulling his sweats down, hard member slapping his stomach as he lays it on top of your core, admiring how it looks on your body.

“does my pretty girl need to be filled up?” he teases, pushing your legs up as he starts to tease at your entrance with his tip. you want it so bad, need it.

“then let me hear it, you’re my baby, right?” he lets his tip catch onto your entrance as you gasp.

“f-fuck, hyuck, i’m your baby! i’m your ba-” the second half of the word comes out as a shriek at the feeling of him entering you, bottoming out right away thanks to his prep. the feeling of being so full winds you, stealing the air from your lungs.

he hisses as your pussy grips him, throwing his head up. you can see the vein on his neck protruding, thick neck strained as he tries to get himself in check.

“relax for me, please baby,” he pleads through gritted teeth, circling your clit. “can’t move like this, i’ll cum too soon.”

you breathe in and out as the two of you try to reel it in, and his hips start to move slowly as he feels you adjust to him.

“you’ve been my baby since the day we met,” he breathes out. “since the time you told me you could take it.”

his voice has always been addicting, over the phone, in person, sober or high, but the way he talks to you in this moment just stirs something in your gut. you can’t stop yourself from clenching at his words.

“oh, you like when i talk to you like that?” he pulls out to push you up so your legs are no longer hanging off the bed, making his way to hover above you as he re-enters you.

“you’ve always been so good for me, always so eager to learn, always so willing to take everything i give you,” he lowers himself as he says this straight into your ear. his hips pick up the pace again, hissing at the clench from his words.

“can you, f-fuck, can you take it now?” he breathes out as he feels himself reaching you deeper and deeper.

“i-i can take it, hyuck, i can take it,” you moan out, tears pricking at your eyes as you shut them tight. he’s fucking you so well, and you can only moan as you do just that — take everything he’s giving you.

“you know ’d never do any of this for anyone else, o-only you baby, just wanna make my girl happy,” your heart clenches at his words along with your pussy.

“thought m-my heart was gonna stop when, shit, w-when you called me crying,” his words come out more choked as his hips rut against yours more desperately, starting to feel his own high coming.

“need to be with you a-always, be the only reason you’re crying.” you can only chant his name and yes as you feel the band in your stomach start to get tighter and tighter.

“i’d fucking do anything for you, i’m yours,” he chokes out, and your nails dig into his back.

“i’m your baby, i’m yours, i’m yours,” you repeat, brain unable to form anything else. his kisses your neck before moving his head back above you, his chain swinging against your face as his pelvic bone slaps against your clit harshly.

he move his head up to kiss you deeply, messy remnants of your own arousal still on his toungue. the bed is creaking under the harsh movements as you get closer and closer.

tears stream down the sides of your face as the band snaps, sending you hurling over the edge as your back arches, gripping onto him tightly.

he curses under his breath repeatedly, hips stuttering to push through the tightness as he cums inside with a loud groan, pushing his head into your neck as he fills you up completely.

he goes limp on top of you, lying there for a bit as you both catch your breath. his softening cock is still inside of you, and you can feel yourself getting drowzy until his stomach rumbles.

he hisses as he pulls out, rolling over to lie down next to you. you turn your head to look at him, entire body spent. your eyes meet his, so soft and full of awe. he looks just as worn, but little do you know, he’s just getting started.

“round 2 after dinner?”

the next morning, a half-asleep hyuck nuzzles you to wake you up, having set an alarm for your work shift.

“sleep okay, sunshine?” his morning voice is deep and groggy, and it’s taking everything in you to not call out for the day.

you feel pretty well rested until you realize how sore your entire body is as soon as you try to wiggle out of his bear hug. his arms wrapped around you are unmoving as he tries unsuccessfully to fully wake himself up as well.

forcing yourself to sit up, you rub your sore back. his hands are still stubbornly attached to your form.

“like a baby,” you reply. you grab your phone, checking your schedule for today, concluding that it’s flexible enough to take a sick day. you text your manager, settling back into hyuck’s arms as you tell him you’re staying home. eyes still half-closed, he presses kisses into every part of your face his lips can find.

“good.” his response is simple as he speaks with his actions, pulling you in closer as the two of you drift back into sleep.

you’re content knowing that your mission to get rid of your sleeping problem was a 100% success, in more ways than just through weed, and that it’s ending with you having more than you could have asked for.

end.

a/n: if you got to the end, thank you so much for reading!!! i know i say this about every fic i've written, but this one was truly truly self-indulgent. it's my first full fic for my ult, longest fic yet, and a birthday present to myself :')

i really appreciate all the support for everything even though i have long gaps between releases. i have had sm fun, and i hope you all enjoy!! this one's more plot than porn but it's def getting a pt2 that's the opposite (it's already planned). thank you again, feedback always loved and appreciated!!

disclaimer: know your limits when consuming weed of any kind. reactions/tolerances vary among people but pls be in safe place or with trusted people if you are trying it for the first time !!!

-coco ♡

Can yall tag black artists/writers please? I wanna start following more and more of my peoples 🤎🖤🤞🏾