
any pronouns, INFJ šššAries, Ravenclaw, Pandora kinnieBy god pls I want a friend so bad(Romanticizing being strange since 2020)
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More Posts from Pidgeonishome
(Swivels around in large threatening chair, stroking my cat menacingly) Hello, Bob.

taking notes, nodding thoughtfully while reading your lily thoughts and I realized I struggle to understand her as a character because everything she is in canon is so muddied by who she is in relation to everyone else. I want her to have a hermit era where she locks herself in her apartment every night learning some new little craft just for the satisfaction of mastering it and I want her to have a going out era where sheās at the bars every weekend and everyoneās watching her but she only dances with her friends and always goes home alone. Like I need to her to live her best life outside of who she is to other people, and see how thatās realized for her. What crafts would she learn behind closed doors, whatās her getting ready routine?
Iāve had friends who feel very much defined by who they are to other people and the expectations surrounding them and itās interesting to question their conception of themselves - a lot of times, Iāve found they donāt have the words to describe themselves without invoking other peopleās opinions of them, even if itās just an attempt to diminish the reality of those opinions (ex. āIām not *that* good at pianoā etc etc). I want to know how Lily would describe herself and what she sees when she looks back on her accomplishments.
anyways. thank you always for your thoughts š
this is such a beautiful message, itās so thoughtful and well-put. i agree that i find her challenging to pin down because she only (canonically) exists in relation to others but that struggle is what always brings me back to herā¦
i tend to see lily as profoundly lonely but in a secret way that only makes her more Singular. i think her private life (her getting ready routine!! her daily rituals!!) is extremely well-cultivated because she is used to being misunderstood/projected on but itās the fact that she appears so self-sustaining that gives her that special halo she has. lily always has little private things it seems sheās doing just for herself (itās to make the daily experience of Being Herself feel more bearableā¦ sheās trying to assert borders on the nothingness by giving herself Things Lily Does) but it makes others want to watch her and guess at what sheās thinking.
the flipside of this question, to me, is also that it is addictive to be loved in the way that lily is. she doesnāt have a clear picture of who she is (profoundly lonely also means empty) and it can be freeing to have an outsider offer a flattering one for you: when sheās the object of love, sheās a beautiful intelligent witch and even apparent flaws like her temper become charming & palatable facets of this picture. it feels really good to be that girl.
i think itās less a question of expectations and more one of definitions. her relationship with petunia interests me the most because her sister refuses to see her as Special, and if lily isnāt Special then sheās nothing at all. and thatās really horrifying but itās also part of her reality.
to me, what happened to her (dying young and getting made into a saint, essentially) is the best thing that could have happened - because she in a sense escaped her own self and Became āthat girlā permanently in collective memory. i think sheās pathologically committed to her own self-mythologizing and thatās an answer itself.
FUCK
Indubitably š§

hold on a second manā¦