Back To You (part 11)

back to you (part 11)

word count: 18k

angst, fluff, smut 

(part 10) (series masterlist)

the next day, you did everything in your power not to sound suspicious when you spoke to your best friend.

act as if you hadn’t had one of the most mentally and emotionally draining nights of your life last night, finally, finally seeing with your own eyes why you got the warnings you did about the man you fell so foolishly for. 

you had to act like you haven’t been moping around in your room pathetically all day dealing with this revelation, mind racing with thoughts that have made you cry into your pillow far too many times. 

like you don’t deserve to be hit with “i told you so,” over and over again, having no one to blame but yourself for trusting a man like san. 

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BTS IN AMERICA : JIMIN

This actually made me want to rot in the sweetest way

moonchild.

pairing: kim taehyung x reader

genre: comfort, angst, fluff, established relationship

word count: approx. 1.5k

request: here // “angsty hurt+fluffy ending comfort w tae please?👉🏽🥺👈🏽 (if your requests are still open) thank you sm i love your work <3”

summary: life is going pretty shitty, and you can’t help but snap under the pressure — but fortunately, you have a taehyung.

tags/warnings: allusions to bad mental health, talk of burn out, lots of crying, kissing, lots of hugging, reader gets pissed at tae but only bc they can’t control their emotions very well atm

a/n: listened to moonchild on repeat whilst writing this (mono feels like the biggest hug), hence the title. i hope you like it anon :)

Taehyung is sprawled on the couch when you get home. His eyes are glued to his phone, but the second you walk in the room, he drops it on to his chest to smile at you widely.

"You're home," he says happily, and you walk straight past him, swallowing hard, because you're about to break down in tears and you will do it if you look him in the eye. It's the pure love and concern, every time you come home like this — it makes you cry.

"Hi," you try, and then you move to the kitchen. And you hates yourself for it, hates how his face drops, hates the flash of hurt in his eyes, hates the way his eyes follow you with worry.

You pour yourself a glass of water, but doesn't drink it, just exhale shakily, and as the breath leaves you, you hear Taehyung behind you. He winds his arms around your waist from behind, offering his comfort and warmth, and for a second, you just want to lean against him and forget everything. And for a second, you almost do.

Then you're pulling away. "I'm tired, gonna go to bed."

"I — What?" he asks, confused, and you are so glad you can't see his face right now, because you would break down.

"I'm exhausted," you repeat, not facing him. "so I'm going to sleep."

"Did I do something wrong?" he asks, his voice soft. "Are you mad?"

"No." You despise the way your voice comes out cold. You despise everything that you're doing right now, despise the fact that you don't know why you do this. Why you find it so hard to let the person you love most behind your walls.

"Oh." Taehyung lets out a laugh, a laugh mingled with hurt and confusion. "Really? 'Cause you can't even look me in the face."

Tears burn at you eyes, and words claw at your throat, and all you want to do is run into his arms, but now he's mad (rightfully so), and you've fucked it up, again.

You turn around and look at him, finally. "I had a long day," you say struggling to keep out the crack in your voice. "I'm sorry. It's not you."

You turn to leave again, but before you can he stops you. "Wait." His voice is cold too now, and you hate it. You face him again, and now his arms are crossed and he's leaning back against the counter. His face is impassive, but his eyes betray him, like always. "It's not that you're tired," he says finally. "There's something else wrong, and don't tell me there isn't because I know there is. I know you. There's been something wrong for the past few days."

"Jesus, I’m not crazy!" you snap irritably.

"I never said there was something wrong with you! Jesus, I — I'm just trying to get you to talk to me!" he stammers. The pain and bewilderment in his voice hits you like a knife to the gut.

"I'm sorry, okay? I'm sorry I had a long day and I'm tired and feel like shit right now? Are you happy?" Even as you're saying the words, you hates yourself for them. They feel like acid burning your throat and it's spitting everywhere and you can't stop yourself and — and — and then suddenly you're in tears.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean that," you say tearfully, your eyes wide and horrified, shame trickling over you like you’ve been doused in cold water. What were you thinking? "Taehyung, I didn't — "

His face softens and in a second he's crossing to you and wrapping his arms around you, and oh thank God, it's okay, he still loves you. "Baby, I know you didn't mean it, don't worry," he murmurs into her hair as you repeats muffled apologies and sobs into his shirt. "My baby. Sweetheart, it's okay, it's gonna be okay."

"I'm sorry," you hiccup weakly. He simply kisses the top of your head and then lifts you easily into his arms and carries you to the sofa, sitting you on top of him and holding you close, letting you cry quietly into his lean chest. He soothes you gently, pressing careful kisses and whispering sweet words to you.

"I'm sorry," you repeat after a few more minutes of crying. "I'm sorry, this is so — I'm such a shitty person."

"Hey." He pulls back, and takes your face between his large hands, intense eyes boring into yours. "I don't like it when people are mean to my love."

You let out a weak giggle and he presses an soothing kiss to your aching forehead. "I'm serious," he continues. "Don't ever, ever say that again. You make me the happiest person alive, you know that? I feel like the luckiest guy ever because because you're mine. My angel," he says. "Promise me you won't say that again."

"Promise,” you hiccup. The tears prick at your eyes again, and he wipes them away patiently.

"Don't cry," he says softly, something raw and pained in his voice. "It breaks my heart when you cry."

"I'm sorry, Tae," you whispers hoarsely, hiding yourself back in his chest. He lets you, simply stroking your hair and holding you tightly. "I can't do this right."

"It's okay, my angel," he says soothingly. "Just — just talk to me. Let me help you. Let me in, for once, yeah?"

You try to speak, but choke on words, words, stupid words, and he pulls you against him again. "Take your time, baby, don't rush it."

"I'm just so... tired," you try to explain weakly, your burning head resting against his collarbone. At this point, you're straddling him, and he's cuddling you closely, his cheek resting on your head as he listens to you intently. "But not like sleepy-tired, I just can't — I — " you falter, looking for words, and he kisses your temple encouragingly. "I just — I feel like I don't want to anything anymore."

"You need a break," he decides, running his hands through your hair.

"I like working!” you protest, but only half-heartedly.

"You need a break," he insists. "You're exhausted, and you need a break. No arguments. I'm gonna take some days off too, and we'll do whatever you want. Anything. Movie night. Fancy restaurants, hiking — I'll — I'll take you to Daegu, or — or Rome if you want."

You laugh weakly into his chest, and the sound brightens him a bit, fills his chest with something warm. "What about the moon?"

"I haven't figured out how to get that far yet," he plays along.

There’s a comfortable silence in the room for a few minutes, before you break it with a hushed, sleepy whisper. "I love you, Tae. So much.”

"I love you too," he murmurs, kissing you ever so gently. "Sorry I can't take you to the moon."

"S'okay," you mumble tiredly into his chest. "Don't need the moon if I have you."

Taehyung can't help smiling at that.

9 with Yoongi please😍😍😍

"and why are you so jealous" x YOONGI

warnings- angst, swearing, drinking, references to hookups, yoongi is a fuck boyyyy

A/N- sorry for the late posting, I hope you enjoy sweetheart! <3

You sat outside the bar in the front seat of your car, eyeing the drunk people leaving as the clock read nearly 3am.

Yoongi, your roommate, had called you a bit prior, asking if you could so graciously drive his drunk ass back home. You agreed, well, because you are desperately in love with the fucker, even if he pissed you off.

the thing is, you didnt mind doing shit for him, but he was just an asshole most times. Yoongi wasnt the kind of guy who would date someone like you, he was out every weekend with his friends at some bar and probably hooking up with any girl within a 5 mile radius who'd let him.

You would let your hopes rise again anytime he did something for you, the expectations were on the floor, considering the action of him helping you clean the apartment would fluster you.

"okay, I gotta go baby"

you looked out the window, seeing yoongi walking towards your car with some drunk chick hanging off of him

"you'll call me right?" she whined, hands holding his shirt

"of course I will, first thing tomorrow" he grinned, helping her off to one of her friends.

You smirked because you knew his ass was not calling her back.

thats how yoongi was, thats the kind of person you fell for, and it wasnt this behavior that made you fall- it was all the way back to 8 months ago, when you and yoongi visited his mother in the hospital, youve never seen him so vulnerable, you held him in your arms as he cried about all of his fears.

It was tragic yet beautiful to see someone who puts on a front all the time, finally break.

You stayed against him like glue during that time, which ultimately resulted in an emotionally constipated hook up between you both.

Neither of you mentioned it ever again, especially when not too long after that he started going out on weekends again- forgetting you.

"sorry for making you pick me up...." he mumbled, crawling into the passenger seat.

"'s okay...I dont mind" you shrug, starting the car again

you felt his eyes on you, a small shiver going down your spine as you forced yourself to pay attention to the road.

"you have fun tonight?" you tried to speak, avoiding his glances.

"you look really pretty, why are you so dolled up?" he asked, voice soft

You were a bit taken back, yoongi never spoke about you like this, even in his drunk state.

"thank you..?...im not dolled up...im just wearing a shirt and jeans, I fell asleep in my work outfit."

he smiled, "oh...well its cute" his hand reached over to play with your hair a little, making you jump

"yoongi-"

"what?"

You took a breath and tried to just stay quiet until you pulled against the curb outside of the apartment, parking the car.

neither of you got out yet

"why are you still staring at me?" you mumbled, turning on the car light to grab your phone that had fallen beneath your seat.

He shrugged, "because I wanna kiss you" his voice slurred

You sat up quickly, head banging against the steering wheel "wh- fuck!"

His eyes widened "shit, you okay?" he reached a hand out

"im fine! dont...touch me" you managed to speak, turning the light off. "what makes you suddenly want to kiss me, yoongi?"

"i dont know you look cute, its not a big fucking deal" he chuckled, eyes still trailing your body

You waited a moment to gather your thoughts, "actually it is, because you say that to every girl you meet, you told that girl you'd call her and I know you wont. You cant keep treating young girls like this, yoongi. Its wrong, we get attached easily and we dont appreciate being led on."

He smirked, "okay...and why are you so jealous?"

You choked "jealous??"

"yeah, jealous"

"im not fucking jealous, yoongi, im mad that you think this is okay behavior."

"and if there were no other girls you wouldnt have reacted the way you just did- in face, I bet you would kiss me in a heartbeat." he spoke

"youre a dick, you know that?"

he nods, smirking

"proud of that?"

"meh" he shrugged

You bit the inside of your cheek and felt a wave of emotion come over you. You realized that he will never change, hes not yours and probably never will be, and you are wasting your time waiting for the yoongi from 8 months ago to come back.

"go fuck yourself" you got out and slammed the car door, leaving him behind.

His eyes sadly watched you walk away, he mentally cursed himself for fucking up again.

He knew he would never have you, and he was to blame.

Going through a breakup is so insane bc I’m literally questioning myself over someone that didn’t care enough to fight for me. I feel like I have to relearn who I am all over again

me writing romance to post on this hell site knowing i've never experienced love