Plzletmedaydream - I Am A Cloud - Tumblr Blog

"have you learned how to drive yet" i have the spirit of friendship in my heart. the joy of lifes little things in my soul. the whimsy of magic. the beautiful enjoyment of nature. the answer is no though

TIL that a recent study out of the University of Kansas found that it takes about 50 hours of socializing to go from acquaintance to casual friend, an additional 40 hours to become a “real” friend, and a total of 200 hours to become a close friend.

via reddit.com

— February 19, 1922 | Franz Kafka diaries

falling in love with someone in your early 20s and then reconnecting with them in your 30s is just. it's like. i know you but i don't. you're a new person who bloomed from the one that you were. your roots have spread and you're stronger and you don't look the same but every so often i still catch glimpses that are familiar when the light hits you in certain ways. i can love both versions of you. i'm grateful that you've grown and i get to see how

(gripping the sink) vienna waits for me

Watching a soft person come out of a family of insensitive and hard hearted people is like watching a little beam of sunshine come out on the rainiest days.No one ever actually moved the clouds for them,no one ever taught them kindness,it was a choice,one that they made every day.They didn’t just survive the bad days,they came out of it as a softer person.It’s not like the issues didn’t effect them,and it’s not like they didn’t cry rivers over it,but they knew better than to continue the cycle of pain and sadness.

i love finding out how big this world is. my girlfriend has only visited boston a handful of times, but i grew up here. i told her we'd be going to do the tourist traps in salem, and she said - which salem?

to be fair to her, there are a lot of other states that have a town named "salem." and i think there's some evidence that the witch trials actually happened in what is now called Danvers. but the thing is - she thought "salem" was like, a made-up thing. there wasn't actually a salem, massachusetts - like there isn't a gotham city.

they don't talk about it that much where she grew up, is the thing! and this made me laugh. a week ago she was talking about her hometown and said something akin to "well the museum's kinda like the one in richmond," and i had to explain i still had no frame of reference for what the hell this museum was like.

i love finding out what knowledge i take for granted. i used to live with 5 other women. 3 of them were from south korea. they had to take, like, a solid fifteen minutes to explain their birthday system to my gay math-blind ass, laughing as they did.

that same month, our roommate from denmark taught me the danish word for wreath by accident - she'd been talking about decorations, used krans, and i'd been able to figure it out through context. i just picked it up and kept talking. our entire house used krans as the word. she came home and slammed the door one evening, mock-angry, shouting: you motherfuckers! it's a - a wreath!

and how often do you use certain words, anyway! i am cuban, so i was raised with certain spanish words sort of sprinkled in there; but never how you'd think. in middle school i asked someone to pass me the recogedor - in a completely american accent, like i was speaking english. i hadn't registered it as a spanish word. i mean, how often in school do you actually use the word "dustpan" - i'd only ever heard it in the context of cleaning my house.

there are places that you grew up that you, just, like, know. that you assume everyone knows. there are things and people and "common knowledge" that you have that, just, like. doesn't exist for me. i don't know what you call your public transportation system, but in boston we call it "the T". our train cards are called charlie cards because of a song where a father accidentally abandons his family, which was written because our system of transportation. in boston, most people would snort and say everyone knows that, kid.

i think you and i should go on a long walk - it's getting dark early these days and we need any sun we can manage. tell me about the first time you saw snow. tell me about the stuff everyone knows about your home. tell me about the cities "everyone's been to," about the food "everyone's already tried." who knows. maybe it will feel nice to you - watching someone learn about it for the very first time.

"fuck it we ball" is for stress about the future "it is what it is" is for stress about the past and "this too shall pass" is for stress about the present thank you for coming to my TED talk

"I would kill for you. I would die for you" would you take a break for me? Would you sit down and rest? For a day, a week, a year? Would you let others take care of your needs for me? Would you let yourself be held for me? By me?

WHY THE FUCK do people have a problem with smile lines ?? you don’t like that your face shows evidence of you being happy??? why are you so afraid of aging to the point that ur afraid to smile? this is not okay

it's like why do i feel ashamed of every action or inaction i ever make. will i ever be ok with myself. will i ever just let it be

loving your mom is like

I love you and I hope I never lose you, please stop talking to me I can't handle it anymore, I don't know how to go on without your support, why won't you just listen to me for once?, oh god I miss you and how do people do it without their moms?, please l just want you to be proud of me, I want to stay at home and pretend I'm still five, you're giving me bone nausea every time you get silently pissed off I need to leave right NOW, I can't imagine when I won't need you in my life, just let me relax for two seconds, please mom, hold my hand and acknowledge my pain without feeling like it's your fault even if some of it is.

i’m such a slut for reassurance my heart literally nuts when you tell me you want me

some of yall will be like “i dont care about your dreams, i dont care about your spotify wrapped, i dont want to hear about your interests, dont you dare talk to me about your trauma,” and its like. what do you even have friends for. bc it sounds to me like you dont give a shit about anything that makes them a person. what do you talk about.

the lord did not put me on this glistening earth to be afraid of sincerity

“you should be at the club” Brother I should literally be sent to the seaside for my health

no offence but i think a lot of us me included don’t actually want romantic love as badly as we think and really are just lonely and crave a closeness and intimacy that feels out of reach in friendships because of society’s emphasis on marriage and the nuclear family so we project that into the never ending search for a perfect love and a soulmate when really we all just want to mean something to someone

what they didn’t tell you as a child is that you will spend your whole life trying to replicate the same unconditional happiness you so effortlessly experienced back then and that it will never quite feel the same no matter how hard you try

Thinking about... Grieving the undead.

staying close w people long distance really is about the mundane stuff. i get texts like "made quesadillas" "spilled mop water all over the floor :(" "lady on the bus has not one not two but three tiny dogs in her purse" andits like wow. i love you more than words can express

sometimes you just have to express to your friends that you love them and they’ll say it back to you and vice versa and you don’t even have to use the word love all the time. i got out of the car of a friend i knew i wouldn’t be seeing for a long time and impulsively yelled love you; they rolled down their window, half laughter half disbelief, as they asked if i’d just said i loved them. i laughed back as they pulled away. an online friend told me once that it was absurdly easy to be human with me and that they had many online friends but i was very dear to them. (months later, i texted to ask if they’ve been sleeping well, since the week has been long). i made a joking comment once about deserving all attention all the time and was sincerely told ‘everyone i care about deserves everything’. (i couldn’t bring myself to tell him i loved him back, but i told him it was easy to see why he is so Adored, that his tenderness always stops me in my tracks). my friend tells me he loves me everytime he bids me goodnight and i’ve never said it back but i write him poetry he’ll never see. love is tender and it is soft and when you have it, you have to hold it tight in your hands, cupped like a little flame. but love is also bright and golden and that light needs to be reflected back on those who shone it on you in the first place. so tell your friends you love them, let them know that they too are loved, in whichever way you can.

(and since some of the friends I’m talking about are chronic tumblr users, if you ever see this, i love you and i love you and i love you and i hope that love echoes through time to reach you whenever you read this)

is this what growing up is? just leaving things behind, over and over?

I may be stupid but I really dont think there's much more to being a good person than "do not add to the suffering in the world"

is the world really such a terrible place? yesterday i asked if oat milk was extra and the barista said yes so i said ok just regular milk then and when she gave me my chai latte she whispered “i used oat milk ;)” doesnt that make u want to live another day?