PLEASE RHIS IS SO FUCKING FUNNY

pLEASE RHIS IS SO FUCKING FUNNY

How the protagonist of my WIP became immortal:

He accidentally killed a sacred goat. So—as any rational religious group would do—its worshippers lost their shit and beheaded him.

Upon entering heaven the first thing his soul saw was said goat, laughing its ass off with a divine donkey. When it saw him it walked over to him and thanked him. It told him it had been suicidal for quite a bit now, and that him accidentally slaughtering it had been the best thing to have ever happened to it.

As a gift it granted him a second chance at life and soon sent him back to earth to complete his days. The man was very thankful.

However there was just one teeny weenie itsy bitsy problem, even though it was divine the goat still had the mind of...well, a bloody goat. In granting him a life it forgot to work out on the whole 'you ought to eventually die as well' department. Thus, making him a miserable immortal fuck who now wanders the earth unable to die or reverse the curse because the fucking goat is dead and he has no way of getting in touch with it again.

why not? lol

“how did you get into writing” girl nobody gets into writing. writing shows up one day at your door and gets into you

literally

like i feel like if we were able to take full weeks off due to periods, i personally wouldn't mind the gap in wage because it makes sense, BUT ONLY IN THAT SITUATION

not to say the wage gap isn't wrong, because it most definitely is

but as someone who, most of the time when on my period, cannot even lie down in bed without being in excruciating pain, i think being able to take a week off of work would be unfathomably helpful

and if i was allowed to stay home for a week and not work while suffering, i would take the week with no pay because i wouldn't be doing anything, so i would personally feel guilty about getting paid for nothing

as long as we get paid for every day we work; as in, i'm not working for 2 days but return to work for the remaining 3 of the work week, and i only don't get paid for the 2 days i wasn't working

but NOOOO the system doesn't work that way

also, if you disagree with me, that's fine! you are entitled to your own opinions! this is just mine

Once when I was little I asked my dad why there was a gender wage gap (they were talking about it on the TV or something) and my dad explained very patiently that since women get periods they take that week off from work and since you don’t get paid when you’re not working they inevitably make less money

Oh boy I wish that were true, I would love to live in that universe where you can take an entire week off from work every month and it’s just normal and no one gets fired for it

m's favorite ns/fw male audio artists

i don't think this needs a full on intro - if you know what's up, then you know. also: this is based on my personal taste, it's not meant to be a comprehensive list of what's out there. i'll link all the artist's patreons and paid services below, if you like them please support them!!!

glossary: m4f = male for female, m4a = male for gender neutral (all), f4f = female for female, gwa = gone wild audio (subreddit)

AugustInTheWinter - one of the kings of gwa, truly a legend and an icon. miss thing has AMAZING dialogue and plot, a mastery of sfx, if you like 'em wet and messy, he's your guy. august has a sweet, deep voice, has a really solid knack on the D/s dynamic. only posts like once a month, but you can get more thru his patreon

personal faves: this dilf audio or this mask kink audio

m's rating: 9.5/10

AuralAlucardd - a newbie on gwa as of nov 2023, but one to watch out for! seems sweet and nice, doing a pretty good job and i believe he'll only get better with time :)

personal faves: this vampire audio which has a part 2

m's rating: 6/10

Badjhur - also a solid presence on gwa, i put him here out of respect for brittany broski because she's the one who introduced me to him. nice, resonant voice with a british accent, often does ghost and könig audios if you're into call of duty. not my cuppa tea, but i can tell why he's got a big fanbase

personal fave: this audio for the shy girls

m's rating: 7/10

DeepDark Audio (DDA) - accidentally stumbled across his priest audio and holy shit, i was hooked. ended up subbing to his patreon for 3 months because the lowest tier gets you access to 100+ audios that are 30+ min on average!!!! his early stuff is a bit clunky on dialogue, but he gets better over time. and his monsterfucker audios are TOP TIER

personal fave: this spicy breeding audio

m's rating: 8/10

@empty-sigh - i don't have a twt but i'm pretty sure he's like royalty over there. leo has a whole library on patreon (highly recommend the dom/sub audios as they're longer!) but has like a bazillion moaning audios, and his voice is probably one of the deepest i've ever heard in my life. i die and go to hell every time <3 not really much plot in his audios, it's more just moaning and dirty talk, with occasional sfx.

personal fave: literally anything he does is gold but here, take this one

m's rating: 10/10

Shallelujah - hi yes, did you ask for a golden retriever cutie boyfriend with a deep deep voice? obviously. you've probably seen him on tiktok or twitch, but he does have a few spicy audios and i'm listing him because i know there are some girlies who love a silly bi guy (personally for me...he's really corny but it's sweet!)

personal faves: umm this one's aight

m's rating: 6/10

banners by @saradika and @benkeibear

tagging my audio besties: @dearestgojo @strawberrystepmom @massivementalitynut @daisynik7