You Ever Read Fanfic So God Tier You Have To Wait For Real Life To Load Back In So You Spend Half The

You ever read fanfic so god tier you have to wait for real life to load back in so you spend half the day doing tasks with that dead look in your eye, replaying all your favorite moments?

A Bouquet of New Beginnings

Inspired by many fanfiction writers and the wonderful Hogwarts Legacy, the writer's motivation and hyperfixation had unearthed itself from the crevices of my brain after years of nothing.

A detailed rewrite of fifth-year with liberal brushes of canon divergence for dear Artemis Loreley, the first two chapters are up on AO3 here.

Below is a snippet of the beginning of the first chapter if you'd like to check it out:

The early summer morning’s soft light gently bathed the world below. A cooling breeze passed through, rustling the leaves of the towering English Oaks as the morning dew glistened their beads as they fell upon the forest floor. Songbirds sang their melodious tune as the blue skies peppered with fluffy white clouds stretched to the far horizon.    

Such was the scene as it was interrupted by a loud crack in the air, and now upon the simple forest path stood a wizened, sixty-year-old man in a traveller’s robe of cloth and leather. His greying hair rustled in the wind as he absentmindedly thumbed his late wife’s blue scarf around his neck, his eyes down on the faithful pocket watch on its leather cord. If this were not strange enough, the man proceeded to pull out a dark brown wand, approximately 12 inches in length, and gave a swish. An ethereal silver arrow appeared out of thin air and fluttered for a moment before floating forward upon the path.

Any passerby that came upon this scene by happenstance may accuse the man of witchcraft, and against the laws that dictate the world, they would be correct. For Eleazar Fig was indeed a wizard, and he was on a mission in this obscure corner of Combwell Wood to (hopefully) welcome another into the proverbial fold.

A murder of eleven crows flew high in the baby blue sky, their black, slick flight formation a stark contrast. As his thick-soled boots met twigs with loud crunches taken as he followed the ethereal silver arrow, Professor Fig reflected upon how it came to be that he was here in Combwell Wood on the first day of summer hols.

It had been the summer solstice, when Headmaster Phineas Nigellus Black – a cantankerous, exasperating man that unfortunately was his boss - had sent for him to his office post haste. The school had fallen into a state of commotion as a pulse of unknown magic wracked through the walls, and those fifth years in their O.W.L.s exams especially had been in a sorry state. But did the headmaster pay heed? No, that was an absurd thought. When Professor Fig had begrudgingly trudged up to the Headmaster’s Office, he had been expecting something nonsensical. Instead, he was faced with both Headmaster Black and the Deputy Headmistress, Professor Matilda Weasley – whom everyone knew actually ran the school – with varied degrees of astonishment and puzzlement.

The Quill of Acceptance had written down a new name, a new student’s name, and The Book of Admittance accepted the entry with a firm snap. As a graduate of the Class of ’93, no less. A new fifth-year. Such a thing was so unusual, so unheard of, that it was decided her admittance letter be delivered and entry into the wizarding world be done in person. Headmaster Black had somehow thought – or did not, one could never be certain with that man – that Professor Fig was the man for the job. After promptly shucking Professor Fig into Professor Matilda’s capable hands, the Headmaster returned to his daily task of fixing his moustache.

rereading my own writing is just a constant fluctuation between "damn, girl, you wrote this? (affectionate)" and "damn, girl, you wrote this? (derogatory)"

do you know where "no beta we die like x" comes from and how it is used?

The term "beta" in this context is short for "beta reader" - a person who reads a fic while it's still in the editing stage and helps the writer get it ready to post. Some betas check grammar. Some check canon compliance. Some are sensitivity readers. There are lots of things that betas can do.

So functionally, saying "no beta" means that the writer didn't get this checked by a second person before they posted it. It's a warning that there might be errors or typos etc. It's mostly used when an author has written something quickly and is posting without doing a lot of (or any) edits first.

As for where it comes from? It all started with a bumper sticker.

This image was an internet meme at one point, and it got meme'd on in the form of "no ___ we ___ like men"

Here on tumblr, one of the versions that got really popular was from now-deleted user @grec1a who created this version:

From there, it migrated to AO3 as the "no beta we die like men" tag, and very often the word men is replaced by the name of a character who dies in canon.

there’s absolutely nothing better than reading a 100k word fanfic, that is until you remember you have a body that is starving, thirsty and incredibly sleep deprived and hasn’t used the bathroom since the sun set 8 hours ago

This is why my search history consists of things like "verbage meaning" and Google comes back with "did you mean 'verbiage'?"

the problem with reading and writing leading to a strong vocabulary is that you tend to know the vibe of words instead of their meanings.

if I used this word in a sentence, would it make sense? absolutely. if you asked me what it meant, could I tell you? absolutely not.