Source

source

MY SUCCESS STORY ☆

warnings: mentions of abusive relationship, depression, self harm & ed.

long post ahead. i decided to share a long rant about how my life was before i found out about the law & after i did. how i managed to cope with traumatic events & recurring suicidal thoughts. if any of these topics trigger you, then please skip the first part of this post! my success story will be on the third fragment of the post.

𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐓 𝐈: before the law of assumption

when i was fourteen years old i had my first ever boyfriend. he was, initially, what people would call “prince charming”. the first few months of dating him were perfect: he always made sure to look after me, bring me flowers, cuddle me when i asked him to and much more. he was also very cordial and well mannered; almost every person who knew him spoke highly of him. but little did i know, that i was actually living in a farce.

three months into our relationship and his demeanour started to switch gradually. at first, it was the smallest of things that made me question if he was still the same guy as before. he would no longer give me any of his attention, call me, comfort me or even buy me gifts (something that he often did). then, he started to mock me in front of his peers, get mad at any given time and verbally harass me. but nonetheless, i kept staying with him.

not long after, verbal abuse turned into physical abuse. he would lure me into his house after calling me, crying like a baby to convince me to come over. he would purposefully get angry at me for not tying my shoes “the way he told me to” or for not drinking water from the tap. after screaming at me and verbally abuse me for god knows how long, he would pick me up and slam me against the door and start chocking me. or he would slap me and beat me repeatedly on my stomach, arms and legs. he would do this for a good whole hour every time.

tw: sexual abuse after that, he would gaslight me and blame me for his behaviour. he would start crying and tell me “sorry” as i was lying on the floor with bruises all over my body. it wouldn’t take long before he would take me to his room to sexually assault me. i won’t go into detail about what he did, but you get the idea.

before taking the bus to get to my home, i would cover myself up as well as i could to hide my bruises and welts, not before trying my best to mask them with the makeup i had brought in my purse. this is why no one ever suspected anything bad going on. my parents are NOT to blame for this. i was the one hiding this from them, partially because i was ashamed of myself for being weak and frail and mostly because my boyfriend would threaten to kill me if i ever said a word to anyone.

this went on for months. after being abused, i would go home and lock myself in my room; i could do nothing if not cry and tear my hair apart from my scalp. unfortunately, this was the time i started self harming. i would do it in places where no one could see my scars and target my inner thighs. i was so ashamed of myself, but i just couldn’t stop hurting. all i wanted to do was die. what abuse did to me was: cause severe anxiety attacks to occur often, insomnia, fatigue, faint and so on. i even reached a point in life where i would stop eating completely or vomit the little food i ate during the day. in simple words, i became depressed.

at some point, i couldn’t hide this anymore: i was forcing myself to go to school because i wanted to make everyone believe i was fine, but my teachers & classmates started to worry about how i looked. at home, i could easily snuck into my room, stuff myself with clothes and lie to my parents about eating, but even they started to get suspicious. long story short, after passing out one day in school, i was taken to the hospital where i was diagnosed with and ed and depression. not being able to hide my body from anyone, the doctors saw all the leftover scars and fresh bruises from my abuse. this is when my parents’ worst fears came all up to surface. they immediately contacted the police to tell them about my boyfriend (he was eighteen at the time) and when he realized that he was in deep shit, he confessed to what he did, but blamed it on his “mental health”.

he was diagnosed with bpd and was left on probation, which wasn’t enough of a punishment for him. but thankfully, i found out that he was jailed not too long ago.

—————————

𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐓 𝐈𝐈: when my identity got exposed on tumblr (after finding out about the law)

after two years, i had managed to recover. not mentally, but physically. this was around the time i had opened my law of assumption blog. when i found the law (a year before opening my blog), i did a lot of research on it and wanted to test if it was actually real. that’s when i found out about neville goddard and started reading pdfs of his books online. while reading them, i found out about the “I AM” state, now commonly known as the “VOID” state.

i think some of you guys remember my void success story (the one i shared on tumblr a year ago), where i had manifested things such as my appearance, moving out of my country etc. when i posted it, it was actually a year old, meaning that i had went into the void * almost a year before opening my tumblr.

when i opened my tumblr blog (halokisses) in february of 2022, i started sharing my success stories and advice on the loass and i gained quite the platform rather quickly. in less than three months i had amassed over three thousand followers, which is a lot. but this was also the time when a lot of negative and deranged people interacted (in anon mode) with my account. I would receive asks of people blaming me because they “couldn’t” manifest or enter the void. or people threatening me in general. it was becoming super frustrating.

i have to admit, as much as i was manifesting great things in my life, i didn’t have the time to cherish them and actually live them out. although, that was nothing anywhere near what i experienced a few months later.

when i was on a break from posting in july (2022) and was only active on my Instagram, my identity was stolen and violated. someone had decided to pretend to have both of my real names (that i had privately shared with a few of you guys on ig) and plagiarize my content. when i rightfully confronted this person, they backfired and made me look like the crazy, bad person harassing them. this got a lot of people to start attacking me, harassing me, send me death and rape threats and much more.

after that, i chose to leave tumblr (not deactivate my account yet). those months were very hard for me. i kept having nightmares of my identity being completely exposed by the hands of this person, because in my mind, i thought they could find more information about me that i never put out on the internet. grief was all i could feel. i once again started blaming myself for simply deciding to say my name online and beating myself up because of this. this lead me to gather all of my trauma and link it all together.

this may sound insane to many of you, but when someone suffers from ptsd, it’s not impossible for them to let such things affect them deeply, even if, in my case, i was dealing with this online and not in real life. to clarify, i don’t compare this specific event to my abuse. but it is important to recognise that it damaged me nonetheless. i was suffering with steady negative thoughts, nightmares and even suicidal thoughts at times.

thankfully tho, i was able to expose this person a few months later and detach from the situation for a little bit. i still had a lot of work to do to fully reach internal peace. but i felt like i could finally breathe after months of impending frustration and anxiety.

𝐈. 𝐃𝐄𝐀𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐆 with everything that happened to me was honestly a difficult task and it took me months to finally reach internal peace. i want to specify that this post was made with the intention to get my past off my chest and bury it away forever. i don’t want to discourage people or make them think that it takes “this much” time to manifest your dream life. this is MY personal experience and how i personally dealt with it. i couldn’t be more proud of myself for it. i’m such a strong woman and i’m still so young. i couldn’t thank myself enough for being so tough and for standing firm.

what i learned from all this is that it’s essential to fight for yourself and inner peace. that’s what matters the most for me. finding the loass and being able to combine it all together definitely played a big role and it proves to me, once again, that as of right now (and forever), i won’t have to worry about anything. my past is dead and so are the people who hurt me. they better try and come back, but this time i won’t be so forgiving. i won’t let anyone ruin me like this anymore.

𝐈𝐈. 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐆 has got to be my favourite success story ever. from the start, i had the feeling that i would succeed and justice would be made n that’s exactly how it went. but the real success happened within me. i am now free from the shackles of my trauma. i don’t worry about anything anymore. i don’t blame myself for what happened to me. i moved on and let go. i have all the means to get back at the people who hurt me and will use them with no hesitation if needed. i don’t ruminate on negative thoughts and live my life peacefully. everything works out for me & nothing gets in my way.

౨ৎ⋆｡˚ ⋆ i’m once again honouring myself and admitting how happy i am to be me. to think that i was just a little girl when i dealt with my abuse and succeeded… it makes me infinitely proud of me. words can’t express how much i appreciate my mind and soul. i worship every inch of my body and i’m not ashamed to say so. and everyone should think about themselves this way. if you went through the things i did, i hug you dearly. you are so strong and you will succeed. i love you and if you need a helping hand, i’ll always be here. there are people out there who care about you and i’m the very first one. you’re an angel, you’re a pure soul and you deserve only good things in life.

i hope that everything wasn’t too harsh to read, i tried to be as less detailed as possible, but wait! the post is not concluded yet.

here to read about my success story ˚◞♡

𝐌𝐘 𝐒𝐔𝐂𝐂𝐄𝐒𝐒 𝐒𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐘

〔 as briefly mentioned at the very end on this post of mine, i changed many many things about my life and therefore what i might’ve manifested in the past has changed. note: this is everything i manifested in the last month or two. i worked on myself and on my mental health first of course. some of the things listed down here are very recent and date back to a few weeks, if not days ago.〕

༄ ‧₊˚ ‎WHAT I MANIFESTED

a new appearance from head to toe. believe it or not, this is actually the third time i change my appearance lmfao i knowww, but i always feel the constant need to change. this time tho, i’m pretty sure i’ll keep my appearance the way it currently is !!

moving out of where i used to live before. i won’t say where i went, but i LOVE it here! everyone is so nice & caring and i’ve been welcomed with open arms. all i can say is that i’ve moved continents and it was the best decision i could ever make. it took me a short amount of time to move out.

my best friend to come live with me. to clarify, she doesn’t live in my house, but she moved out with her parents so we could stay close. i also manifested that the both of us could speak the local language fluently and perfectly!

school to start later than most schools here. i just want to enjoy summer a little bit more before the mind-breaking routine restarts (i’m obviously joking lmao, i love school. no i don’t). ++ i manifested to go to a prestige school! i also might’ve manifested it to look similar to harry potter’s castle and i love it! i genuinely can’t wait to start just for this.

travelling a lot more than i used to. my goal is to visit as many places around the world as possible and it’s something that i’ve been doing in the course of the past month. i’m taking so many pictures too with my new digital camera that *drum rolls* i manifested in literally a day! it was insane how fast it happened, but honestly i’m not surprised anymore because everything i desire manifests instantly.

to stay safe and protected at all times. over two years ago, when i went into the void, i had manifested my fighting skills and they’ve only gotten better overtime! imagine mikasa ackerman type of fighter, yeah that’s how i am so y’all better watch out.

healing & helping people deal with their trauma. this is so important to me and it’s honestly the favourite thing i manifested. it’s pretty self explanatory, but if you guys want to know more about this (and need help), please don’t be afraid to text me.

to pass all my tests, finals, etc. and i also manifested to shift into my “school dr” five minutes before each test (whether it’s oral or written) to get all the correct answers. i can’t wait to try this out, tho i still will be studying regardless, because i love doing so! (except for maths & chem lol)

for my parents & loved ones to forget what i went through as a young girl. basically, i revised them ever having trauma after me. it was the right decision to make and i’ll forever be thankful for it.

to revise and go to the weeknd’s concert!! i had a blast y’all this was one the best things i could ever think of. last year i couldn’t go to abel’s concert because i was on vacation, but i manifested going there anyways and now i have such a vivid memory of it + all the videos i took are in my camera roll.

to never spiral or dwell on my negative thoughts. letting go of traumatic events + always reminding myself of how strong and powerful i am and that nothing can get in my way. (aka always manifest instantly and successfully)

for all of my scars to be fully healed and for internal wounds to riparate + to never get ill or get terminal diseases (this works for my loved ones as well).

plus many more things that i can’t think of right now! ♡

༄ ‧₊˚ HOW I DID IT

before anyone asks, no i did not use the void or any other method. i don’t go into the void anymore, because there’s no need for it. it’s an instant state just like ANY OTHER.

you’re always in a state (your I AM=awareness). the void is just your awareness shifting into your I AM where you’re simply assuming that there’s emptiness around you, hence you’re not in your physical world.

here’s how i manifested my dream life:

𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐏 𝟏.

i decided what I wanted. i had a deep self-to-self talk and understood EXACTLY my desires and wants. i asked my heart what it truly longed for. then i made my decision

i scripted a few things out, such as my full detailed appearance, where i would move out and how my school looked like. the rest of the stuff was not scripted. ♡ TIP: i find it easier to use pictures and put them all together in a collage to have a clear image of everything i’m changing.

𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐏 𝟐.

i used my all-time favourite affirmation to seal the deal and ACCEPTED MY DESIRES AS REAL. the umbrella affirmation i used is: “it is done”. here’s some affirmations you can use:

it is done

i have everything i desire/want

i got it all

i am

*any word that you choose implies that you have what you want* ie: “pink”

ACCEPTANCE of myself and HAVING FAITH were the key steps of my journey. it was somewhat easy for me to tap into the STATE OF THE WISH FULFILLED since i had manifested many things before, however this does not imply that it should be hard for others to tap into it quickly and easily. you are always in a STATE, you just have to decide which one.

i sticked with MY STATE as much as i could: if i would get discouraged or suddenly get negative thoughts, i would let those thoughts hit and dip. i wouldn’t acknowledge them whatsoever.

NOTE: i would still interact with the 3d regularly. ie: if i had to write down where i lived, i put my old city as such and so on. but i kept on EXCLUSIVELY acknowledge my imagination (=4d) and dismiss the 3d. i KNEW i lived in x city in x country in x continent and moved on.

𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐏 𝟑

the 3d conformed. faster than the speed of light i might add. it might’ve felt odd, because i had never manifested such important things without the void (see, everything is possible and instant without the void), but everything worked out perfectly and went accordingly to plan ˘͈ᵕ˘͈

𝐅𝐈𝐍𝐀𝐋 𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄𝐒

i would like to end this post by saying that it was 100% my choice to share about my past with you guys and in no way, shape or form i made this for others to feel pity or compassion for me. i don’t need it and don’t want it. i just felt ready and serene to share something really delicate about me to encourage people to always fight for themselves.

and this is also a rant to explain to people that if a blogger wants to share more about themselves and share sensitive topics like these, it’s because they want to. you shouldn’t be the one deciding for them or, worse, expose their personal life to the claws of the internet. this was a throughly made decision by ME ONLY.

i hope you guys found this post helpful and liked everything that i manifested! thank you for being here & for being patient and attentive.

with love, andreia ♡

as a shifter, you know you're fandom trash not when you're shifting for your comfort characters. you just know you're fandom trash when you randomly get excited at the thought that you can consume mountains of content for a rarepair while shifting that you wish you could find here in your OR. like yes i'm going to have 12 heart attacks in a row when i lay eyes on my CCs in person, but damn, can't wait to finally have 500k word count fics of all varieties for my rarepairs that i can stay up all night reading until i am emotionally ruined but satisfied.

my priorities are normal i don't know what you mean--

💗🩰IT GIRL YOUTUBERS🩰💗

1) Persephonesmind ( Mindset )

Alessia has really great content on developing a postive and strong mindset. She is so underrated . She speaks softly , if you prefer someone who is more compassionate while speaking then her videos are really good for you !

2) Simonesquared ( Mindset , manifestation, self improvement )

Simone has two channels - one is simonessquared & other one is simmonesimmo . She has everything , she posted some videos related to manifestation, rewiring subconscious mind , study tips , mindset etc . She is so funny which makes her entertaining too !!

3) Lana Blakely( Mindset )

Lana has really amazing tips on developing self love , healthy habits , relationships etc . Her voice is really comforting , her videos will help you alot !

4) Daiz /Daisy Choii ( Productivity )

Discovering her was a blessing ! She posts vlogs related to studying, organizing her desks , travelling , room makeover etc. She will motivate you to become more productive .

5) Saranghoe ( Productivity )

She posts vlogs regarding morning & night routines ,studying , organizing her room etc .She is another youtube who will help you to romanticize your life & motivate you to be more productive .

6) Yoora Jung ( Productivity )

I love Yoora so much ! She posts vlogs regarding studying, working out , travelling etc. She will motivate you to study harder , be more productive & romanticize your life.

7) Princess Jess ( Wonyoungism , Productivity )

Princess Jess is so wonyoung coded and I love it ! She is so underrated, If you don't know her , please check her videos out ! She has great content on wonyoungism . She posts videos regarding weight loss tips ,morning & night routines inspired by Wonyoung , Wonyoung essentials , style inspired by Wonyoung.

8) Best dressed ( Fashion , Vlogs )

She posts videos regarding fashion & her favorite movies , vlogs related to traveling , apartment makeover etc . My favorite video of hers is 50 outfits when you have nothing to wear . Do check her channel out !

9) DN. Beauty Natural ( Health , beauty )

This channel is pretty underrated , it deserves more . They have great exercises for both your face & body . They will help you get your dream body & enhance your natural beauty !

10 ) Emi Wong ( Health )

Emi has good exercises related to weight loss , getting a good posture etc. She also has kpop workouts( most of them are on blackpink songs )

11) Mish Choi (Health )

She has amazing workouts inspired by kpop idols. My favorite workout of her is the Blackpink Jennie pilates & IU yoga .

12) Hina fit ( Health )

She also has amazing workouts inspired by kpop idols & on kpop songs too.

13) Chloe Ting ( Health )

Chloe is a life saver. She posts videos related to workouts, healthy recipes , results from her workouts , house tour etc.

14) Study to Success ( Academics )

I love her aesthetic,she has great tips on how to become that student , how to study when you are tired , romantizing school etc. She also posts study vlogs and morning & night routines.

15) Study quill ( Academics )

She not only gives tips on studying but she has videos on self care , Journaling , dorm tour etc.

💗🩰I wasn't able to mention all youtubers in the last post so I had to post another part . I hope this post helped you. Please remember to consume content that makes you feel good & helps you become your best version. TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF , LOVE YOURSELF & PROTECT YOUR ENERGY.💗🩰

would you? | luke castellan.

pairing: luke castellan x fem!reader

summary: luke slowly starts to lose himself but that won’t stop you from reminding him of what truly matters.

wc: 2.6k

warnings: some manipulating and gaslighting if you squint and probably spoilers for the first book but they’re not explicitly mentioned.

a/n: HAPPY HOLIDAYS !! here’s luke as a gift <33 i’ve never written for luke before but he’s my favorite pjo character bc hes such an interesting and complex character aghh. sorry if this isnt as fluffy as you would all want, i promise i’m working on some real luke fluff.

The rays of the rising sun made the lake look far more beautiful than it always does. Sure, you were used to the warm tones that always engulfed Camp Half-Blood and it’s not like the weather ever really changed, at least not unless the gods willed it to, but the colors of the sun reflecting on the lake, the low hum of the wood nymphs singing, and the distant sounds of laughter coming from campers playing volleyball were strangely comforting. 

Well, as comforting as it can be when you’re trying to find some quiet in the neverending fight that was the demigod life. It gets tiring, it always does. The fighting, the studying, the adoration of gods who didn’t even bother to give their children a sign of them caring. It was all so exhausting. 

But there was peace in this small moment. You were sat in front of the lake, your legs crossed as you closed your eyes, trying to enjoy the tranquility of it all. The calm moment didn’t dare to stop your hand from finding a home in the clay beads of your camp necklace and twirling them around, a seemingly normal act to anyone who saw you, that actually was a sign of you being aware of your surroundings, a small sign of the fear you carried around, a fear that had you always prepared to draw your sword in any given moment. Not ever fully in peace. Not unless Luke was there. 

“So you decided to start your morning without me? Ouch,” You turned your head at the sound of your boyfriend’s voice, “A knock on my cabin’s door would’ve been enough, you know?”.

“Yeah? And risk waking the million campers that sleep in there? No, thank you. I would like to stay alive for a few more years, please.” You replied with a small smile, looking up to meet Luke’s eyes, his scar being more prominent in the morning, a red color adorning the edges of it.  

He snorted a laugh and rolled his eyes before taking a seat next to you. He was silent for a moment until he muttered softly, “This is a nice view.”

“Oh, definitely. The lake always looks beautiful when the sun hits it the right way. I need to give the Apollo cabin their congratulations and some flowers for having a talented father.” You answered, your hand moving away from your necklace to hold Luke’s.

“Of course, you make my pick-up line about the gods. Can you give me a win over here? I’m trying my best.” He said with a smirk before pressing a kiss to the back of your hand. It was a strange sort of thing he always did, even before you two started dating, he’d always find an excuse to hold your hand and give it a quick kiss. 

“I wasn’t going to let you get away with using a corny pick-up line on me, Castellan. At least be original with it.” A giggle escaped your lips, “Also, everything is about the gods, I thought you’d be used to it by this point.”

His face fell for a fleeting second, but he was quick to mask it with a small smile. “Right, everything always is about the gods.” Luke’s eyes moved away from your face, nervously glancing at the lake after his statement. 

You frowned when you heard the tone he used, he sounded almost.. bitter? You couldn’t even explain it. Luke had been acting weird ever since the camp came back from their annual visit to Mount Olympus on the winter solstice. At first, you thought it had something to do with Hermes being a total dick and ignoring him the entire night, not even bothering to give his son a pat on the back or a nod. But you’ve known Luke long enough to know he was past caring about what his father did, he was indifferent to what Hermes did–to what any of the gods did. 

The two of you were silent, sitting side by side in front of the lake in deep thought. He was thinking about gods know what, and you were busy trying to understand what was going on inside his mind. You decided to break the silence first, “You okay?”.

“I’m fine, baby. Don’t worry about it.” 

He was quick to answer. It was almost as if he had rehearsed it and had it scripted beforehand. It was almost as if someone else had told him what to answer. As if he was under someone else's guidance. Under someone else's control. 

“Are you sure? Because it feels like you’re.. I don't know, keeping something from me?” 

“I’m not keeping anything from you. I’m not keeping a single thing.”

“Right. Sorry for asking.”

Luke closed his eyes and let out an exasperated sigh. He ran a hand through his hair and took some deep breaths, his chest moving up and down in a nonexistent rhythm, it was urgent and angry. He took a few more breaths, trying to calm himself before finally meeting your eyes again. 

“I’ve told you countless times to never apologize to me if you haven’t done anything wrong,” He reminded you of the conversation you’ve had millions of times, “Don’t ever apologize to me if you haven’t physically hurt me or something, alright? You’re fine. We’re fine.” 

He continued, “I’d trust you with my life given the chance. I’m not keeping anything from you, angel. You have to trust me.” 

“I do.” 

You didn’t see your boyfriend at all the following days. He always brushed you off by being busy with training or helping Annabeth plan for this week’s capture the flag. You weren’t the only one to notice his slight change of temper and personality, some campers from the Hermes cabin noticed it too. 

He kept pushing harder on his siblings, always insisting on them doing better. He was more violent than usual during capture the flag, not thinking about it twice before proving why he is the most talented swordsman in the last 300 years.

There was also this one time he volunteered to spar with a new camper.. it didn’t go well. He kept doing new maneuvers and techniques most campers didn’t even recognize, refusing to go easy on the poor thirteen year old girl. When you asked him about it, confused at the way he went too hard on the newbie, he answered with a dry “Where’s the glory in that? She needs to be prepared for what’s about to come.” It sounded as if he knew some kind of danger was approaching. As if it was a matter of life and death for the camper to learn how to fight against him.

You decided it was enough when you saw him skipping his daily chat with Annabeth, deciding he would rather sit by himself on the steps of the Big House for a little while. 

The walk from your cabin to the Big House was filled with self-doubt and twirling the beads of your necklace, you were nervous to face your boyfriend, which was stupid because he was the last person you’d ever expect to feel nervous with. When you arrived to the steps of the Big House and saw him sitting there, your mind went completely blank. 

You sat next to him and asked the first thing that came to your mind, “Would you rather fight 3000 ant-sized chimeras or a chimera-sized ant?”. 

An amused laugh bubbled up from Luke’s chest before he turned his head to face you, a smile taking over his handsome face. “I’ll take the 3000 chimeras, no doubt.” 

You smiled back at him, ready to ask him the question you spent the last thirty minutes planning, but before you could open your mouth he said, “Would you rather not be able to consume ambrosia and nectar for the rest of your life or.. see Mr. D without a shirt?”

You threw your head back with laughter, your face going red thanks to the lack of air in your lungs due to the laughs coming out of you, “I’d rather bleed to death without ambrosia than see Mr. D with a shirt.”

“Ditto.”

You decided to indulge in this back-and-forth game, after all, you hadn’t been able to have a real conversation with your boyfriend in days... you’ll take what you can get, “Would you rather not be able to leave camp ever again or turn against the gods?” 

“It would be boring to spend the rest of my life capturing a flag and growing strawberries… so I guess my answer is pretty obvious.” He answered while fidgeting with his fingers.

“You’d choose to turn against the gods?”

“Yup.”

“Huh, I guess capture the flag would be pretty hard when you’re pushing 90.”

Luke was silent, running his eyes through your face before asking, “Would you?”

“Would I what?”

He took a deep breath before replying, “Turn against the gods.”

You were silent for a few seconds, biting your lip and staring into Luke’s eyes, wondering if there was a right answer to this metaphorical question. You decided to give him an answer he’d like but also an answer you meant, “I’d go wherever you go. It doesn’t matter if it is a farm in the middle of nowhere or to the pits of Tartarus. If you’re there... count me in.” 

Luke cleared his throat and a serious look took over his face, “Sure, but if the time to make a choice came… would you go against them?”.

His persistence to try and get you to answer his question was making you nervous. The more he asked you about it, the more it looked like he was genuinely considering it. 

A nervous laugh escaped your lips as you nervously played with one of the beads on your camp necklace. He took notice of it. Of course he did, he knew more about you than anyone, probably even more than you know yourself. 

Luke stayed silent at that, a somber look taking over his features, you could tell there was a turmoil happening inside his head. It was almost as if he wanted to let you in on a secret, but he couldn’t bring himself to do it.

“I... um. Well, I don’t think that’s happening anytime soon—at least not in our lifetime. But like I said, I’d go wherever you go, to Tartarus and back.” 

That brought a smile to Luke’s face, he looked into your eyes, probably looking for signs of you lying but finding none, and took your hand away from your necklace, lacing your fingers with his and pressing a kiss to the back of your hand. “To Tartarus and back, baby.” 

He brought your hands down before leaning in to kiss you on the lips. There was a sense of necessity to feel your lips against his, he kissed you like the feeling of your lips was his only shot at salvation. He raised his hand to cup your cheek and deepen the kiss, craving the heat he only got whenever he kissed you.

You stopped him before he could take the kiss any further, “Luke, we’re in the middle of camp. There are children around us, if you want to make out at least take me to our spot behind the stables. Holy shit.”

Luke took a second to steady his breathing, “Sorry, angel. I’ll make sure to keep your suggestion in mind for later, though.”

“Shut the hell up, Castellan.”

The two of you spent the rest of your day being busy working on your own stuff. Luke was still sparring with some campers who were brave enough to go against him, and you were hanging out with the Dionysus cabin while they helped grow more strawberries. 

 You found Chris sitting in the amphitheater and asked him if he had seen your boyfriend, he replied with an annoyed, “He’s probably in bed or something, I don’t know.” You decided to not ask Chris if he was okay and walked straight to the Hermes cabin.

A knock on the wooden door was enough to wake your boyfriend up, you were aware of it when you heard a muffled, “Come in”. You found Luke sitting on his bed, his sword in hand while he sharpened it.

So he wasn’t asleep at all, you thought.

“Careful with the sharp part of the blade.” He looked up from his sword when he heard your melodic voice, your words snapping him out of the trance he was in.

“Oh, hi.” Luke put the sword down next to his bunk and moved to lie down, leaving a space next to him for you to join him. He hummed when you laid down next to him, giving a kiss to his shoulder blade and wrapping your arms around his torso. 

He turned to face you, pressing his lips to your forehead with a soft sigh. His eyes closed at the sensation while his hands traveled to your back, looking for ways to hold you closer. His features relaxing when he finally touched your skin. 

You couldn’t keep this weird tension going on between you two, so you decided to bite first, “Do you want to talk about it?”

Once again, he replied in an almost scripted and mechanical way, “Talk about what?”

“The winter solstice visit, you’ve been acting.. different ever since we came back to camp.” 

Luke stiffened next to you, it made your heart drop. You’ve been dating him for a year now, and he had never been this cold—this uncomfortable around you. 

“I just... I think things are about to change.” He replied in a low murmur, his eyes closing again when you brought your hand up to caress his face, softly tracing his scar with your thumb in a delicate and loving way. Luke let out a breath he didn’t even know he was holding when he felt your fingers on his skin.

A smirk made its way to your face, “Change? yeah, in your dreams, Castellan. Campers will keep arriving and only 5 percent of them will get claimed, and the others will get thrown into your cabin.. like things always are and always will be. That’s not changing anytime soon.” 

Luke’s hand traced up and down your back in a soothing manner, “Yeah, maybe they won’t. Forget I even said that.” 

“Just because they won’t change, it doesn’t mean we have to accept it, you know?”Luke's eyes snapped up from your hands to meet your gaze, his brows furrowed in confusion. 

“I’m sorry?”

“We’re all on the same team here. Sure, the gods will never claim most of the campers and we will all probably die before we’re old enough to have children of our own... but is that really all that matters? We have each other. We don’t need them as long as we have the people we love with us.”

Luke tilted his head to the right to press a kiss to the palm of your hand that was caressing his cheek, “I don’t need the gods as long as I have you.” 

“Good to know we’re on the same page, Castellan.”

The two of you went out for a small walk by the lake and sat together in the dining pavilion at night. Your small conversation probably made Luke feel better because he was quick to go back to being himself, he kept greeting every camper he saw and holding your hand, not forgetting to kiss the back of it whenever he had the chance. 

Maybe it was you reassuring him about the love you had for him or maybe it was him being aware of you being willing to drop the gods at any time just to be with him, but he was completely normal during the following days, weeks, and months.

You were sure of it when you saw him walking around with the new arrival five months later, Luke seemed so excited to be showing him around. You greeted the new camper with a small smile when he introduced himself with a “Hi, I’m Percy Jackson.”

you don‘t have to feel.

a misconception of "feeling is the secret" is that "feeling" gets mistaken for "emotionally feeling" something. "feeling" — in this case — stands representative for "knowing". meaning, you don’t actually have to "feel" it real but rather "know" it real.

do not force an emotion.

you don‘t have to force yourself to feel the emotions you would have if you had your desire in your physical world. feelings don’t manifest. it all depends on your beliefs aka the assumptions you are having. that’s why it’s called the "law of assumption". you can feel AWFUL and manifest your desire. why? because you know you have it. it’s a belief that you have established. an assumption that is accepted without the need of physical proof. it’s an assumption because you believe in it without having to rely on your senses to perceive it.

when you return to your imagination, when you are confronted with your desires and assume that you have them, you don’t have to necessarily feel immensely excited. the way you feel about your desires tells you nothing about your firmly established assumptions that actually matter when manifesting. in fact, that feeling (here: emotion) can be misleading as it only lasts for a moment and you find yourself returning to feeling neutral.

"recreating the feeling of the wish fulfilled"

trying to "recreate the feeling of the wish fulfilled" can be helpful. it helps to practice actually knowing that you own your desire as you are allowed to recreate scenarios in your head that make you feel excited. but it’s not necessary! especially if you are someone who finds it difficult to get yourself to actually feel it, you might beat yourself up for something that isn’t even required to do.

sometimes we don’t know how to really feel about having our desires. if you are someone who has been poor your whole life, it may be even harder to imagine a life where you do not carry the burden of money problems — therefore, it can be difficult to know how that would make you feel. but that shouldn’t stop you from getting that bag! it’s your job to get what you want even if you aren’t used to that emotion. it truly doesn’t matter how you feel. just concentrate on your assumptions and you will get whatever it is that you want.

declare your desire as yours, accept it as yours, know it is yours, repeat! and don’t forget to persist in that assumption!

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ © 23209

⠀⠀⠀⠀inspired by my beautiful friend @saintlysacred