Professional-yearner - Kisses 4 Clones

Darkness

Pairing: Technically poly!Batch x GN!Reader, but only Crosshair and Echo are mentioned

Rating: T

Warnings: Talks and descriptions of depression, hurt/comfort

Word count: 761

A/N: I wrote this in a slump when I needed some comfort. Now that I'm mostly out of it, I don't really have anything to add, and so it's sort of unfinished. The following descriptions are my personal experience.

They had noticed the way that smiles don’t quite reach your eyes. How your body seemed to sag more and more, as if gravity was pressing harder on you. How you slept more and more, claiming headaches. How you seemed to stare off into the distance with a strange blank expression. How you talked less and less and lacked the passion you normally contained.

Surprisingly, Crosshair was the one who approached you first, in a quiet moment. Coming out of the fresher, wiping tears from your cheeks, he cornered you, his tall frame blocking the doorway, haloed by the hallway light as you had already flicked off the bulb in the fresher.

“Are you okay?” His voice is low, almost as if he didn’t want someone else to overhear him. Taken aback by this uncharacteristic concern, your brows furrow. A small frown twists your lips down. “What makes you think I’m not?”

He removes the toothpick at the corner of his mouth, pointing it at you. “You’ve been acting funny.”

Your eyes narrow. “Funny how?”

Annoyance crosses his features, tan face pulling into a grimace. “You know what I mean.” You cross your arms defensively, and you’re not sure why, because he isn’t accusing you of anything. Guilt tugs at your heart. It must have been more obvious than you thought, if Crosshair of all people is bringing it up. You shoulder your way past him, tossing a half-hearted ‘I’m fine’ over your shoulder. He watches your frame retreat into the shared bunk room, replacing his toothpick in his mouth. He didn’t believe you for a moment.

You retreat back into the safety of your sheets, covering your head, and let darkness overtake you, regret washing over your conscience. You didn’t want the boys to worry for you. You feel even heavier now, heavier than you’ve ever felt. You fall asleep with a wet pillow under your cheek.

———

When you awaken, you can feel a soft hand stroking over your hair. Blinking your eyes open, you turn over, locking gazes with Echo. He’s sitting upon the edge of your bunk, irises soft, scomp arm resting on his thigh as his flesh hand pets you. You lean subtly into the contact before pulling away. He frowns subtly. “You should come eat,” the ARC trooper prompts, but that’s the last thing you want right now. The camaraderie between the clones will only serve to make you feel even sadder. “Not hungry,” you reply apathetically, even as your stomach growls. When was the last time you ate?

Echo seems to be asking himself the same question. His frown deepens, and he asks that Maker-forsaken question. “Are you alright?”

You don’t even have the strength to reply immediately. Your eyes gaze off into empty space as your lips move, spitting out another ‘I’m fine.’

He doesn’t take it as easy as Crosshair did. “It’s apparent you’re not.” Your teeth grit. Another wave of penitence makes you feel sick to your stomach. “It’s nothing. I’m fine.”

“Cyar’ika, I know depression when I see it.”

Of course he does, of fucking course he does. You can’t help it when your eyes dart to his cybernetics, feeling even worse. How can you be depressed when Echo’s around? He’s been through so much worse, you know it, he knows it. He must. He must think you’re horrible for acting and feeling this way. Dark thoughts gnaw at the edges of your mind, whispering venom at you.

You don’t deserve to be here.

You’re pathetic.

You run a hand over your face, unable to stop your lip from quivering. “I’m sorry,” you manage to whisper through a tight throat, releasing a shuddering breath. “I’m being stupid. I’m sorry I’m concerning you guys. I’ll be okay.”

Echo catches on the first sentence. “There is nothing stupid about what you’re feeling.” The clone helps you sit up, running his flesh hand over one of your cheeks, cupping it gently. “It’s not healthy to bottle up your feelings. Talking about them is helpful, it really is, and you don’t need to carry this burden alone.”

A fresh wave of tears runs down your face, spilling over Echo’s fingers. You can’t hide from this, you can’t hide from him. His stare feels like a ten ton weight on you. You shiver, drawing your blanket up and over your shoulders. His smile is gentle, and when you finally meet his eyes, you only see care and worry in the deep brown depths. “When you’re ready to talk, we’ll be here for you. All of us.”

💀 the bad batch? If that’s ok

guilty pleasure confession. I love when character A either emotionally or physically hurts character B when their feelings take over, only to feel the regret and shame after when character B already wants them dead/hates them.

emoji prompt

warnings. mean!bad batch crew, violence w/ knives & guns, blood, verbal abuse, reader gets hurt repeatedly.

prompt 💀: What are they like in their cruelest moments?

Hunter: Takes his anger out on you from a failed mission with his vibro-knife. Purposely carves into sensitive flesh, and to rub salt into the wound, somewhere visible. Hunter’s deadly silent while your pained voice blares through his ears. Just before, he’ll tell you he’ll feel it all the same with his senses. Your overworked heartbeat, the blood rushing to the open wounds, the painful strain in your vocal cords, your desperate wriggling, he feels all of it. Intensely focused throughout the entire procedure.

Crosshair: Makes you a target at the peak of his obsession, when it’s scratching at the inside of his brain and screaming at him to take you. looks down at your vulnerable form, eyes icy and heart beating too slow for the situation, taking the shot too close to your heart as your fellow troops freak out and get you a medic. he doesn’t intend to kill you (hopefully), but he wants you to hurt for making him feel such an awful way. Ever heard of the feeling of impending doom?

Tech: Once stalking and forcing you into uncomfortable interactions isn’t enough, he gets very frustrated with himself, and quickly, you. There’s a period where he’ll attempt to crush any feelings of obsession, because Tech knows it’s bad, but for the love of the maker, he’s never turned away an opportunity to learn. He’ll coldly degrade you in any way he knows, and he doesn’t care if he has to take low blows. He’ll talk your ears off with humiliation till you just stop acknowledging him or break and give him what he had coming.

Wrecker: Hurts you in a moment of intensity, when he can’t control his feelings anymore. Maybe you told him you have to go. All the repressed emotions he’s been trying to bottle flood out and only work to make him more and more upset, and unfortunately, he doesn’t want you to leave while it happens. Even if you’re just trying to get him one his brothers, the grip he has on your wrist holds much too harshly. You’re left with bruises from how tight he clings to you, so tight the crushing feeling in your ribs causes you to see black spots and you feel yourself choking on your own spit. He probably fractured something.

Echo: When you’re too nice and soft around him, Echo starts getting doubts about you. You want to make him feel bad, don’t you? You’re doing this on purpose, for your own sick entertainment, feeding off his constant thoughts of your name. Things change when he looks at you like a traitor, forcing past your shoulder when you try and say hi. He sneers when you’re still kind to him, muttering cruel words once he turns his back on you. Only when you stop associating with him for both of your comforts does he realize any reason you’d have to be a snake, you haven’t taken advantage of. You were being a friend while he wanted to crush you under his heel.

Sharpe-core

some kind of a moodboard

If you find yourself falling back into habits you swore you’d change, your F/O would never question your integrity. They know how hard you’ve been trying and will be there to help you get back on your feet.

Likewise, this doesn’t change their feelings for you at all. It doesn’t change how they see you. And it doesn’t mean that you failed yourself. It’s okay to fall, no matter how long it’s been or how strong you are.

Your F/O just wants be the one who helps you stand again every time.

some ‘Soka and Skyboy AU content, because it soothes my soul.