Do You Think It Would Be Possible To Accept Trans-identified Peoples Pronouns And The Like If They Accepted

Do you think it would be possible to accept trans-identified people’s pronouns and the like if they accepted the reality of biological sex? Like a “born in the wrong body” idea. Is that what “”transmedicalism” is? Because anyways like. For me, I know I’ve tried to argue that the reality of sex (+ sex-based oppression) disproves trans identity and claims, but TRAs who I’m friends with still claim sex exists. And it’s difficult because the axis of sex can change how their arguments work entirely, whether they believe in biological sex or “it’s a spectrum/not real/etc.” And… it (no sexual dimorphism) seems a more recent, online development than in real life, or is that just me? Sorry if this doesn’t make sense and I’m just rambling. It’s hard to put it into words if that makes sense, it gets so confusing sometimes!

Hi hi! I’m sorry, I’m sure this has been sitting in my inbox for months and I simply didn’t see it! I’ve been thinking a lot about this, and I’m afraid the answer I’m going to give you is imperfect.

People are not born in the wrong bodies. The arguement I continuously saw was that people have male or female brains, and sometimes those brains don’t correspond with the right bodies, hence the existence of trans people. This concept has been disproven again and again, which I believe is why it’s not seen as often as it had been previously. After that came the ‘biological sex is a spectrum’ nonsense.. I have no idea how to begin having a conversation about that one, honestly.

Trans-ness is a social construct. It is the result of conditioning, intentionally or not. We are affected by the way we were brought up as children, how we learn to view men and women, what content we were exposed to and interact with. You know that shitty Garfield meme “You are not immune to propoganda”? It’s true. Our psyches are formed by positive and negative feedback, and we don’t even realize it.

There are situations when I can’t blame an individual for feeling what they feel. It is difficult to overcome that conditioning. As someone that was raised in an orthodox church, I still feel the urge to pray when I am in a tough situation. That doesn’t mean that behavior is logical, only that it was enforced. We must be concious of how we rationalize our behaviors. Thoughts, actions, etc. I do think, if your friends are open to it, that it would be wise to have a conversation to get to the bare bones of what they believe and why. Often times, that is enough to spark genuine change.

Personally, I have two requirements for respecting pronouns. The first is that the individual must know and acknowledge their biological sex. The second is the individual must pass. I base my usage of pronouns on observation, and sometimes trans-identified people do pass. Am I morally just for doing so? I don’t know. This is something I think about more than I would like. I think it is up to you to decide what pronouns you use, why, and with who. You are allowed to cherry pick. Life is not made of homogenous situations.

It is easier to use your friends’ pronouns. It’s easier to conceed. You avoid argument, you keep your friends. Speaking from experience, this option is not worth it. Have those talks. Listen to understand where they are coming from, and speak with the intent that they are also making that effort. Don’t start this conversation with the goal of responding. Neither party will get anywhere. If you find that you disagree and there is no chance that either of you will change your opinions on the matter, that’s fine too. I won’t say it’ll always end well, because it doesn’t. Sometimes you remain friends anyway.

The last thing I’ll say, and forgive me for rambling, is that saying a person can change their biological sex is immoral. It is an immense disservice. While I use preferred pronouns on a case by case basis, I will never say a biological woman can become male, or vis versa. Ultimately, it is up to you to decide how you want to approach this situation. My advice to you is to keep learning, keep reading, keep having these hard conversations. I hope it goes well :)

Italian sculptress and art jewelry maker, Chiara Voliani

Reminder: Xylitol is very toxic to pets so if you decide to start using it, be careful around pets.

It was an exasperated cry, but I love this addition. Men have always wanted control over everything. It’s a crazy inferiority complex. It’s like they are constantly ranking where they are on the power pyramid. It comes to who is the strongest, who has the most influence (or money), who is the boss. Like we see all the time, men identify as alpha males because they are constantly sizing up to other men, and don’t see women as a challenge.

The men come home from war, women are working, their ranking is threatened. Ergo, they shove women out of the working sphere, into a tight, controlled social sphere, because that places women lower in the scale of power.

The crazy thing is, I don’t see women doing this shit generally. It happens, especially as that is something we observe from day one, but on average, women aren’t gearing up to beat the shit out of each other. Women don’t have the constant need to dominate other people, because that mindset is insane and archaic.

Why is the 1950’s the standard for ‘traditional’? Why not the 1930s, when women wore pants and had jobs? Why is that not traditional? Why do people only talk about tradition when it comes to a ‘woman’s place?’ Why don’t we grow our own food? That’s traditional, yet these people that love to talk of tradition love freezer meals. Why don’t we listen to traditional music? Why is it that men are so concerned with the role of women, why does traditionally come into play there? Why does no one talk about the fact that some women in the 1950s worked? Why is the 1950s housewife the ideal? I just don’t get it.

crazy how jk actually never said that. crazy how she actually said she would stand with trans people if they were discriminated against because they were trans. wild.

also, they’re writing for different genres. gaiman writes (mostly) for adults. harry potter is for children. there is a considerable difference for what can be put into those genres (remember when the christians held harry potter book burnings bc it had witchcraft?). just throwing this out here: dumbledore being gay is not relevant to the story she was telling. it just wasn’t. it was relevant to gaiman’s books.

J. K. Rowling and Neil Gaiman are such a funny contrast to me, like Rowling: Oh, and by the way, I put gay characters in my books. People: Is there anything... showing that? Rowling: No. Also trans women don't deserve respect People: wtf Gaiman: Here are some immortals that transcend all human concepts of gender and attraction who use a variety of pronouns, and also some clearly canon human queers. People: Are the immortals queer? Gaiman: That is an entirely valid way to view them. Other people: Ugh, pushing a modern woke agenda. It used to be- Gaiman: Fuck you