
A great selection of my incoherent thoughts!AO3 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChaoticNeutral01/pseuds/ChaoticNeutral01
113 posts
Masterpost
Masterpost
Hello everyone! Since this blog has grown much more than I've anticipated, I figured that it was time to organize everything into a masterpost so people can find my different au's more easily. Happy reading! :D
Fics on AO3:
What to do When an Eldritch God Decides that You're Friend-Shaped: A Guide by Sir Leon the Long-Suffering: here
Archeologist Merlin and Immortal Camelot au: here
I would find you, darling, in any life: here
AU Prompts/Ideas
Balinor lives: Part 1/1
Merlin controls the Knights of Medhir: Part 1/1
Arthur thinks Merlin's a fairy: Part 1/1
Arthur becomes Emrys's familiar: Part 1/2, Part 2/2
Archeologist Merlin and Immortal Camelot: Part 1/3, Part 2/3, Part 3/3
Arthur obtains magic dolls of Merlin and Gwen: Part 1/1
Arthur thinks that Merlin needs to get laid for the safety of Camelot: Part 1/1
Morgana wants to be allies with Emrys: Part 1/2, Part 2/2
Merlin resurrects Lancelot, not Morgana: Part 1/1
Arthur misunderstands what a warlock is: Part 1/2, Part 2/2
Merlin tells Morgana about his magic early: Part 1/1
Arthur thinks that Emrys is his real father: Part 1/1
Gwaine accidentally joins the Catha in their worship of Emrys: Part 1/1
Merlin accidentally conquers Camelot: Part 1/4, Part 2/4, Part 3/4 Part 4/4
Camelot becomes obsessed with Emrys-themed romance novels: Part 1/1
Merlin temporarily dies and Arthur loses his mind: Part 1/1
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More Posts from Ramblings-of-a-chaotic-neutral
Hello everyone! Thank you all so much for all of the love you've given my latest au! I'm working on a continuation for the "Arthur misunderstands what a warlock is" au and will hopefully have it posted by tomorrow!
However, I have a question for everyone! I'm considering starting a new writing project based on Greek mythology (essentially a horror retelling of the Odyssey where mortal become less and less human every time they interact with the gods), and I'd love to share my work with you all! But, I'm conflicted on whether or not I should make a new blog for this project or not.
I know that most (probably all) of you are here for my Merlin content, and I want this blog to be enjoyable for everyone, so I want your thoughts!
I originally created this blog to share my silly Merlin au's and fanfics with you all, and I'm happy to keep it exclusive to that if you guys want that! However, I'm also happy to share all of my writing, Merlin-related or not, here!
I want this blog to be as fun as it can be for both you all and myself, so I value your feedback! Happy voting, and I'll be back soon with my au continuation post! :D
Chapter 3 is up! I hope you enjoy it! :D
Thanks to all of your amazing support, I've decided to start posting the "Archeologist Merlin and Immortal Camelot" au on ao3! Here's the first chapter, and I'll be updating it once a day! I hope you all enjoy! :D
(doppelganger Merlin au. Arthur is looking at two Merlin's, who both have all of Merlin's memories, except the imposter doesn't have magic. which is perfect, because the real Merlin lied so flawlessly to Arthur that imposter Merlin would have a real chance to take over Merlin's life. oh and, uh, Merlin was drugged w a truth serum. so he can't lie about the magic if it comes up. The imposter is able to pretend to be Merlin better than Merlin can bc ofc the magic comes up.)
Arthur: What's the first thing you ever said to me?
Imposter Merlin, confidently: Hey, that's enough. You've had your fun my friend.
Real Merlin, dazed, looking over at the imposter in horror as he realizes that the imposter has all of his memories, and that the imposter is actually capable of lying rn unlike himself, which means Real Merlin can't even keep up his own facade, but the imposter can: (says exactly the same thing in perfect unison with the imposter, but looks a lot more lost and shaken about it)
Arthur, narrowing his eyes at them both: What is your favorite tunic to dress me in?
Imposter Merlin: The red one. (It was a fair enough assumption. It was the one that Merlin picked out for Arthur to wear more than any of the others.)
Real Merlin, unable to believe he's about to admit this, but he has truth potion in his system: Your nightshirt, when you decide to wear it... It is--you look the happiest, in that one. (gay sweatdrop)
Arthur, kind of floored by the vulnerability: (was honestly expecting Merlin to say the red one, but now he wasn't so sure because that also sounded like something girlish that Melrin might say) Alright... How many times have you saved my life?
Imposter Merlin, gleeful on the inside because he finally has a chance to play Merlin's part while Merlin can't even maintain his own web of lies because of the truth potion: (to this imposter's credit, he is very good at pretending to be merlin. he starts mumbling to himself and counting on his fingers, just as Arthur thought Merlin might have done.) Let's see, there was the dagger, the poison, the... (proceededs to ramble off most every single one that Arthur himself is aware of) ... so that's about, a dozen? I'd say?
also Imposter Merlin: (places his hands on his hips in Merlin's sassy way) I'm starting to think you owe me a day off.
Real Merlin, voice shaky, because they are getting nearer and nearer to the topic of magic: Twice a fortnite for as long as I've lived in Camelot... That's got to be in the hundreds by now.
Arthur, suddenly remembering all the creatures of the week that suddenly disappeared before they became a problem. He knew of about one every month or two, but he started reconsidering if his guardian angel had been taking care of threats that he perhaps DIDN'T know about: Erm... (still can't tell who the real Merlin is, because one of them is giving all the answers he's looking for and is acting exactly like he would expect Merlin to, but the other Merlin is being so damn earnest right now, as Merlin was wont to do in times of crisis) What is--what's an honest truth that you've told me that I have mistaken for a lie?
Imposter Merlin, knowing that he's being quizzed on the memories of their shared history, without missing a beat: Valiant's shield. It was enchanted with those snakes. You got into a world of trouble for confronting him about it in front of the entire court. (aka exactly the answer that Arthur was expecting from the real Merlin)
Real Merlin, with a knot in his throat and tears in his eyes because he knows he's doomed: (the first instance that came to mind was that time he saved Gwen's father from sickness using magic and Gwen got thrown in the dungeons for being an alleged sorceress--and of course that was his first thought, he is very very paranoid about the magic so it's all he's thinking about--he has to say the first one for the sake thought for the sake of honesty, even though it's damning) Gwen's not the s-sorcerer... I am. (is also making exactly the same face that he was making the day that he told Arthur about Valiant's shield, the face where he is pleading for Arthur to believe him. The imposter only has access to Merlin's memories through Merlin's eyes, so the imposter wasn't able to see what Merlin's face did that day, so he wouldn't have known)
Arthur, now even more unsure, just gapes for a moment because how fucking stupid does someone have to be to confess to sorcery in Camelot? Twice?! And it was worse yet that he still couldn't tell for sure which Merlin was the real Merlin because he'd never had to combine the image of Merlin with magic before and gods damn it all he needed a moment to process: (decided to start asking Merlin questions about himself instead of quizzing him on information that Arthur already knows) Who was your first love? (fully expecting to hear Gwen's name, although, Merlin was quite flamboyant....)
Imposter Merlin: It was Will... (blushes a little, looking flustered and matter of factly at the same time, in that awkward way that mimics merlin perfectly) You met him, in Ealdor.
Real Merlin, sneering at the imposter in the way that he did Cedric when he was bitter about replaced by a possessed man in the Cornelius Sigan incident (a/n: even though the episode I mention in this line is a totally different one. I think I mix referenced a lot of episodes in this ramble actually): H-her name was Freya. You killed her.
Arthur, alarmed: Killed her? Wh--Merlin--not Merlin--Merlin? (stammers on how to address this Merlin, tosses his hands up after 0.5 seconds) I do not recall killing any village girls in Ealdor..!
Real Merlin, shaking his head: She was the bastet. It wasn't her fault, she was cursed by a sorceress to become a bastet at night. It wasn't your fault either, you did what you had to; I don't blame you for what happened.
Arthur, suddenly remembering that night, remembering how Merlin was reaching for the dangerous feline beast as if it were only a kitten, as if Merlin was going to pet it, or shield it from Arthur, or any other number of things that also seem so very Merlin. Arthur hadn't even considered it before, but now? Looking back? Merlin certainly had been remarkably upset in the passing days after that: (more confused than ever) Wh... Where did -- where were you, yesterday? (Gaius already told Arthur that Merlin was at the tavern)
Imposter Merlin: At the Rising Sun. Gwaine took me out for a round of drinks. Something about a lucky charm?
Arthur, nodding along: (it was true that Arthur has heard Lancelot and a few other knights call Merlin a lucky charm) Hm... (turns to look at the other Merlin)
Real Merlin, with a wobbling lip: (laughs weakly, rolling his teary eyes a bit) I told him to stop using that excuse... (refocuses) I was crawling out of the mirror, if you must know. I TOLD you I had a funny feeling about it. (motions to the imposter) (he has tears in his eyes and a smile on his face, and his voice sounds exactly the same as it did that one time when he said to Arthur 'you're certainly not' after Arthur told him that no man was worth his tears)
Arthur, now watching Real Merlin more closely than Imposter Merlin, searching: Who was your favorite guest to mock at the feasts and whatnot?
Imposter Merlin: (kind of stumped bc he wasn't expecting a question like this)
Real Merlin, who is actually able to answer first after some thought: ..... (snorts) Does-- (snorts again) Would the Lady Catrina count as a guest, d'you think? Or should I--no--I'll say it was the Lady Vivian. You get this, LOOK on your face every time she sits near you at the banquet table when she comes 'round.
Arthur, jaw dropped in mock offense: Because she is rather touchy! We've been over this..! (doesn't even realized that he just responded to Real Merlin as if he were for sure the real Merlin, and momentarily forgot that there were two convincing Merlins present)
Imposter Merlin: Are you mad? Arthur, the fake me said it himself that he crawled out of the mirror and practices sorcerery..! (looks so earnest, so genuine, but it's just... not quite how Merlin would say it)
Arthur: (narrows his eyes at the imposter with slight suspicion)
Imposter Merlin: (gives Arthur a flat look, exactly like the real Merlin would do when Arthur says something stupid) Arthur, I am not a sorcerer. You would know. (a/n: last episode style)
Arthur, who had never once suspected magic, but did always know that Merlin had been keeping a secret from him (he'd always assumed it was the alcoholism, but now....): You'd think so, wouldn't you.... (glances at the real Merlin, looking a little hurt)
Real Merlin, not denying the magic at all: I was born with it. I use it for you, Arthur.
Imposter Merlin: You can't honestly--
Arthur, looking deep into Real Merlin's eyes: Swear to me, right now, that you are telling me the truth. Prove it to me.
Real Merlin: (grabs the hidden dagger out of the imposters hands, who had apparently been gearing up to attack Arthur, which is confusing enough all on its own because it made it difficult to tell which one of them was truly intent on attacking Arthur with it, and then charges Arthur)
Arthur, who normally has keen warrior reflexes but not when his enemies wear Merlin's face: (freezes up, and then watches in shock as the dagger clashes against the thin air about an inch in front of Arthur's chest, cast aside by some glowing shield that fades after a second)
Real Merlin: Why do you think it takes me three hours to polish your armor? Do you have any idea how long it takes to enchant the space between every link of chainmail? (drops the dagger at Arthur's feet so he knows it was just a demonstration and not a genuine attack, similar to the way that Arthur always aims just to the left of Merlin when he's throwing blunt objects such as goblets because he never wishes any actual harm on Merlin)
Arthur, blinking dazedly: (can't help but think of that one time that Merlin spontaneously became talented at juggling. it's such a strange thing to remember, and completely unrelated to the current happenings, but Merlin's smile was small and smug just like it had been that day, and it just--clicked)
also Arthur, looking slightly more sure of himself now: (needs one final test to make absolutely certain, but he thinks he knows just what to ask) What would you have me do, if I cannot tell you apart?
Real Merlin, without missing a beat: Arrest us both. (shrugs casually) I am a sorcerer after all. Better safe than sorry.
(And that's just it, isn't it. It was just like Merlin, to sacrifice himself like that. It was just so, unmistakenly Merlin.)
Arthur, smirking in mock offense: Better safe than--excuse you, I could take you apart with one blow!
Merlin *cough*hearteyes*cough* "Emrys" Hunithson™, the one and only: I could take you apart with less than that
(In the end, Merlin walks himself to the dungeons as the imposter is arrested, just to give Arthur peace of mind so there's no pressure to second guess his decision since even if Arthur chose wrong, there is no assassin Merlin imposter on the loose. Merlin and the imposter both spend 3 days in their respective cells before the imposter finally does some decidedly out of character shit and Arthur can have him executed with full confidence that it's not Merlin... since the guy really was very good at mimicking Merlin. Arthur didn't even realize that he'd needed it at the time, but looking back, he probably would have had a panic attack as the imposter was marched to be hanged. He probably would have doubted himself at the last second and wondered if he really did believe the right Merlin those few days ago. But thankfully, Merlin thinks ahead sometimes and is actually quite thoughtful and wise on these such rare occasions.)
All 100% accurate!
One of my headcannons is that, after Merlin saw how much pulling the sword from the stone cheered Arthur up, Merlin would summon some small magical monster for Arthur to slay whenever Arthur needed some cheering up.
Nothing that would actually hurt people, maybe just an animated statue that steals some people's goats, and Merlin would orchestrate it such that Arthur kills the beast and is celebrated as a hero for killing the monster before it could hurt anyone. Arthur becomes much happier by actively keeping his citizens safe, and Merlin gets to practice summoning spells, so Merlin sees it as a win-win!
But Arthur's also a dumbass, so sometimes Merlin has to sneakily help defeat the monster that he literally designed to be defeated by Arthur. Merlin has designed his beast such that there's no possible way for Arthur to actually get hurt while fighting it, but Arthur somehow winds up almost getting eaten, so Merlin revokes the enchantment animating the statue, essentially leaving it as a lifeless puppet, and Arthur "valiantly" escapes from the beast's clutches and stabs it to death, while Merlin is facepalming in the background.
I just think that, as long as no one actually got hurt, Merlin would 100% create a monster for Arthur to slay just to make Arthur feel better.
And for some bonus angst, Arthur could find out that Merlin conjured the monsters and misunderstands everything, thinking that Merlin has become a sorcerer and wants to destroy Camelot from within but is just bad at summoning any dangerous monsters because he's as useless as an evil sorcerer as he is at his job as a manservant.
Literally every episode of BBC Merlin be like
