Raynpuddle - Rayn - Tumblr Blog

Yesterday was...something

Cried all day but i Don't remember much

I fel like always going from being hopeful and to despair is not very... normal?

I'm always fighting myself with my thoughts. Of coarse I think I deserve to be hurt more than ever but where do those thoughts come from? Being hurt by other people.

Its a way to justify and see the good of other people I guess

My boyfriend was thinking that we can take me to see a doctor to get a diagnosis for something, or at least have me go to therapy.

I have a feeling I might be autistic...but honestly I don't experience enough symptoms...

I do cry and have a breakdown whenever things get to much... My stress tolerance is really low I feel. But that can be that I don't have enough coping skills yet. Im working on minimizing the crying and feeling overwhelmed

I thought she would be around forever. I wanted her and my boyfriend to met. I want her to come over to my apartment.

I want my two most favorite and beloved people to get along...

Oh...just remembered a dream I had last night...

My ex-friend found me and i tried to be polite but I buckled from the anxiety and sat down with my head on my knees. She hugged me and I started crying. I don't remember what she said....i was so scared and relieved I guess?

It's almost a year since we stopped being friends...I think I still love her. I want to fix us. Ill love her and care for her better than before. If she approached me, I'll let her back I think....

Only problem is my Boyfriend really hates that I am still so obsessed with her. She hurts me over and over...bht i don't think its her fault. Its never her fault. Its me, Its because im awful. My boyfriend thinks otherwise. He says I am wonderful and kind and amazing. His heart hurts for me because I think so lowly of myself.

Did she change me? How nice would it be for me to blame someone... I just can't though. It hurts to think that she...wanted to hurt me. I don't believe that... she was hurt too, by my carelessness. She's more hurt than I am, i deserve to be hurt but she doesn't.

I deserve anything bad that happens to me.

I love him I love him I love him. Please survive, just a little more and you'll be safe and happy in my arms finally.

God please don't rip me away from him

I need to stay strong and live. I Want to be selfish and keep him alive too

Most internet discoarse is not that serious ... I feel like if you want to make an impact on any issues you have with society, start with your community outside your phone. Volunteer, donate that one dollar or hell, 50 cents. Be involved in a small way, even talking about local charity events to family and friends is enough.

Drop the kinlist pretty please girlie <3 /gen

oooo i had one on my old account so lets redo it teehee

~bsd~

-dazai

-akutagawa

-poe

-Q

-nikolai

-ranpo

-yosano

~class of 09~

-nicole

~nge~

-asuka

-rei

-shinji

-misato

~death note~

-L

-misa

~arcane~

-jinx

~the breakfast club~

-alison

~kakeguri~

-midari

~girl interupted~

-lisa

~danganronpa~

-mikan

-junko

~dc~

-harley quinn

-the riddler

~x~

-pearl

-maxine

~ddlc~

-monika

-sayori

-yuri

-natsuki

~gravity falls~

-mable

-bill cipher

~guilty gear~

-aba

(uhhh just thinking off the top of my head so i prob forgor sum)

Waow

i just saw you interacting with penny Royald someone who willingly interacted with a pedophile and then had the gall to cry wolf when he made it sexual

Anon can you degrade me?

Also capitalize your i it's making it less sexy thx

I got a birth control implant, hope it steadies my emotions l feel calmer, a lot calmer now

Itll be a while until i hear his voice again...the storm messed things up in Florida so badly. I hope no other hurricanes happen to soon

The hurricane in Florida scares me, i can't lose him now....

Getting him to prep as much as possible

Waow took some inspiration from 'Gushing Over Magical Girls' last night and teased my boyfriend so much. This might be my new favorite thing....ohmagah, he is so cute><

Real

i need his autistic ass

Its our 1 year anniversary eeee>< he wrote me a long text saying how much he loves me hehehe

Its like a love letter! Im so happy♡♡♡

I need to write something myself for him, at work rn but I'll think of it through the day

cinnamonroll fashion mood board

thx anon :3

dividers from @pommecita !

Wow, rediscovering Three Days Grace and Linkin Park. What other music can I Find?

Weehee!

Hehe gummie time

Drew him a warrhammer 40k art, teehee im happy it turned out so well

Heyy guess who wants edibles again~

I Dont want to drink tho, im firmly against myself drinking

Omg this art looks soo yummy>< kyuuuu

Mitte mama do you accept requests? Can you draw konata izumi

I usually don't .. but u asked so nicely 🩷 so here u go hehe

We don't talk enough about how the Post-Shower Drying Off segment sucks

Im ok now, no longer feel the need for edibles or alcohol