Out Of Touch

Out of Touch

Barbie (2023): 1

Allo/heteronormative media: 0

Barbie spoilers!!

My favorite part of Barbie is "I'm not in love with Ken".

Not that there's anything wrong with Ken, it's just that she really isn't in love with Ken.

I didn't know how much I want that until I heard it.

With all the other films I've watched before, there's always an expectation that the two characters will end up together in the end. Implied if not, most often, outright shown.

The entire movie we see Ken wishing Barbie will love him as much as he loves her, and I was totally prepared to have that by the ending, because that's how it usually goes.

But no. Barbie is not in love with Ken.

My (probably) aroace heart is singing.

There's a mistake I see a lot of people in the mental health community make and in all honesty, it's one I've made myself. But I think we should really work on it. And that's saying "if this were a physical illness, wouldn't you care?"

I've learned that no actually, people wouldn't care. Katelyn Weinstein (theADHDprincess on Twitter) is a neurodiversity acceptance activist who really put this in perspective for me. She said that it's actually more an issue of longevity than physical vs mental health.

If you're having a bad day people will generally be understanding. But when you're experiencing chronic depression and you have many bad days people lose sympathy.

In the same respect people may be understanding when you've broken a bone that will heal properly or when you have a cold that will go away soon in ways they simply won't understand when you have chronic pain or need to use a wheelchair. They may send chicken soup for a temporary situation, but when you need consistent accomodations it's an entirely different story.

I understand that from our perspective it looks like people care more about physical health than mental health, but it's good to remember that our own perspective is also limiting. Facing ableism doesn't mean you can't be ableist. And I know so many people are not ill-intentioned when they say this. I know I wasn't. But we can't discount the lived experiences of physically disabled people. If we want true equality we need to be united and we need to listen to those with physical disabilities and illnesses. And those with physical disabilities and illnesses (some of which are also invisible) have said that they are not given proper accomodations either.

So let's be united and fight for equality and accomodations for everyone, no matter what their illness or disability may be.

marking the calendar for your first day at school