Bridges To Belonging

Bridges to Belonging

Part One Part Two Part Three Part Four Part Five Part Six

Summary: Y/N lives through the worst day of her life (in this world), will her and Spencer make it out the other side together?

Pairing: Spencer Reid x fem!reader

Category: angst, crime, smut, fluff

Warnings/Includes: hostage, guns, shooting, injury, danger, angst, crying, having mom and dad, meeting the parents, good relationship with parents, smut (18+) more warnings under the cut

Word count: 14.9k

a/n: hi!! i took a different turn with this than originally intended, believe it or not this is far less angsty than it was going to be

main masterlist

Additional warnings: PiV (unprotected not explicitly mentioned), fingering

Y/N was at work, discussing a patient’s progress with a physician assistant in the brightly lit corridor. The day had been routine, a comforting monotony of chart updates and consultations. She was in the middle of a detailed explanation when suddenly, the air was pierced by the sound of shouting and screaming from down the hall.

Y/N’s heart leapt into her throat as she turned around, her eyes widening in horror. A gunman stood at the entrance of the pediatric ward, his wild eyes scanning the room. He was heavily armed, the cold glint of the weapon sending chills down her spine.

The hospital’s sterile, safe atmosphere shattered in an instant, replaced by raw fear. Y/N’s instincts kicked in, and she reached out to protect the children nearby, pulling them close and trying to shield them as best she could. Her mind raced, but she forced herself to stay calm for the kids’ sake.

“It’s going to be okay,” she whispered, her voice shaking as she tried to comfort the children huddled around her. “Stay quiet and stay close to me.”

The gunman’s voice echoed through the ward, barking orders to his team who were spreading out, searching the rooms methodically. “Find Alex!” he screamed. “We don’t leave until we have him!”

Y/N’s heart pounded louder with each passing second. She had no idea who they were looking for, but the desperation and menace in their actions made it clear they were willing to do anything to find their target.

She locked eyes with the physician assistant, both of them understanding the gravity of the situation. They had to protect the children, keep them safe from this nightmare that had invaded their sanctuary.

The gunman’s gaze swept across the room and landed on Y/N, his eyes narrowing. “You!” he barked, pointing the gun at her. “Get over here!”

Y/N’s legs felt like jelly, but she forced herself to stand, her hands trembling. She stepped forward, trying to keep her voice steady. “Please, there are children here. Let them go.”

The gunman sneered, tightening his grip on the weapon. “You’re in no position to negotiate. Move!”

Y/N complied, her mind racing with fear and uncertainty. She had to stay strong, had to find a way to protect the children and survive this ordeal. As she moved closer to the gunman, she glanced back at the kids, giving them a reassuring nod. 

“Stay calm,” she mouthed, praying that help would come soon. Her thoughts flickered to Spencer, hoping against hope that he would somehow sense something was wrong.

—

Spencer was at his desk, surrounded by stacks of case files and reference books. The familiar hum of the BAU office was a comforting backdrop as he immersed himself in the latest research. He had just made a particularly interesting connection when the door to Hotch's office flew open, and JJ came rushing in, her face pale and urgent.

Hotch emerged a moment later, his expression grave. He called out to the team, his voice cutting through the usual office noise. "Everyone, into the meeting room. Now."

Spencer felt a knot of anxiety tighten in his stomach. He quickly followed the others, his mind racing with possibilities. As they gathered around the table, Hotch wasted no time.

"We have a hostage situation at a hospital," Hotch began, his tone serious and focused. "St. Agnes Hospital. An armed group has taken control of the pediatric wing. They’re looking for a specific patient, presumed to be someone’s son."

Spencer felt his heart stop. St. Agnes. That’s where Y/N works. His mind immediately flashed to her, and a wave of panic surged through him. He tried to keep his breathing steady, but the fear gnawed at him, threatening to overwhelm his composure.

Hotch continued, "We don’t have all the details yet, but we know the gunmen are heavily armed and have made it clear they won’t leave without the patient. The situation is extremely volatile."

Spencer’s hands clenched into fists under the table. He forced himself to focus on Hotch’s words, knowing that staying calm and collected was the only way to help Y/N and the children she was likely with. The pediatric wing. Of course, she would be there, comforting and protecting the kids as best she could.

Morgan noticed the tension radiating from Spencer and placed a reassuring hand on his shoulder. "We’ll get them out, Reid. We’ll get Y/N and those kids out of there."

Spencer nodded, swallowing hard. "What’s our plan?" he asked, his voice barely steady.

Hotch looked around the room, meeting each team member's eyes. "We’ll coordinate with local law enforcement and the hospital security team. JJ, start gathering intel on the gunmen. Prentiss, work with Garcia to get the hospital's layout and any surveillance footage we can use. Morgan, I want you and Rossi to start strategizing entry points and containment. Spencer, we’ll need your expertise on profiling the gunmen. They’re looking for someone specific, which means they have a motive we need to understand quickly."

Spencer nodded again, forcing himself to focus. His mind was a whirlwind of thoughts and emotions, but he knew he had to compartmentalize, to use his fear as fuel to bring Y/N and the children to safety.

As the team dispersed to their tasks, Spencer took a deep breath, steeling himself for the challenge ahead. He wouldn’t let his fear control him. He would use it to drive him, to ensure that Y/N and every single child in that hospital made it out safely.

—

Y/N stood rigidly in front of the gunmen, her eyes filled with a mix of fear and defiance. The children huddled across from her, behind the PA, their small faces pale with terror. The leader of the gunmen, a tall, menacing figure with cold eyes, stepped closer, his gun trained on her.

"Where is Alex Bartel?" he demanded, his voice sharp and unforgiving.

Y/N's heart raced, but she kept her lips pressed tightly together, refusing to give them any information. She couldn't betray the child, no matter what they threatened.

The gunman’s patience was thin. He grabbed her by the arm and shook her. "I asked you a question. Where is Alex Bartel?"

Y/N remained silent, her eyes meeting his with unwavering determination. She knew that giving up Alex would mean certain doom for the child. Her silence was her shield, her only weapon against these monsters.

The gunman’s face twisted in anger. He struck her across the face, the force of the blow sending her reeling. "Talk!" he shouted, his voice echoing through the hall.

Y/N’s vision blurred, but she shook her head, biting back the pain. She wouldn’t break. Not for them. Not ever.

"Fine," the gunman hissed, a cruel smile spreading across his face. He turned his attention to the children. "If you won’t talk, maybe they will."

He reached out to grab one of the kids, a little girl who had been clutching the PA’s leg, tears streaming down her face. Panic surged through Y/N. She couldn’t let them hurt the children. She had to do something.

"No!" Y/N screamed, lunging forward to block the gunman’s path. "Don’t touch her!"

In the chaos, another gunman reacted instinctively to her sudden movement. A shot rang out, echoing through the hall. Y/N felt a searing pain in her shoulder, the force of the impact sending her to the ground. 

To everyone watching, the shot seemed fatal, aimed at her heart. The children screamed, the sound mingling with the shouts of the gunmen. Y/N’s vision darkened, her body slumping as the pain overwhelmed her.

Y/N lay motionless on the cold floor, every nerve in her body screaming with pain. The searing wound in her shoulder throbbed with every heartbeat, but she knew better than to move. She couldn’t give away the fact that she was still alive. If the gunmen realized their mistake, they would surely shoot her again to finish the job.

Her breath came in shallow, controlled gasps, each one a battle against the agony that threatened to overwhelm her. She could hear the gunmen barking orders, their voices a harsh backdrop to the terrified sobs of the children. 

Y/N's mind raced, trying to stay focused. She had to keep still, had to play dead convincingly. Any movement, any sign of life, and the gunmen would be back. She needed to survive for the children, for Spencer, for herself.

The sounds around her blurred into a distant cacophony as she concentrated on remaining perfectly still. She willed herself to ignore the pain, to ignore the fear coursing through her veins. She imagined Spencer’s face, his comforting presence, his strength. It gave her something to hold onto, a reason to endure.

Minutes felt like hours as she lay there, every second a test of her willpower. She could feel the warmth of her blood pooling beneath her, the scent of it mingling with the sterile hospital air. But she didn't move, didn't even flinch.

The gunmen continued their search, their footsteps echoing as they moved through the hospital. Y/N's ears strained to pick up any sign that help was coming, any indication that the nightmare might soon be over. 

As the commotion grew more distant, Y/N allowed herself a tiny sliver of hope. She could hear the faint sound of sirens in the distance, a promise that help was on the way. She just had to hold on a little longer.

In the back of her mind, she clung to the thought of Spencer. He would come. He would find her. She just had to survive until then. And with that thought, she found the strength to keep still, to keep pretending, to keep fighting.

Y/N's resolve was strong, but the unrelenting pain in her shoulder grew more intense with each passing moment. She could feel her strength waning, her body struggling to maintain the façade of lifelessness. The room spun around her, and her vision started to blur, darkening at the edges.

The children’s cries became a distant echo, their voices blending with the harsh commands of the gunmen. Every heartbeat sent a fresh wave of agony through her body, and she could feel herself slipping, her grip on consciousness loosening despite her desperate fight to stay awake.

The blood loss was taking its toll, making her lightheaded and dizzy. She tried to focus on the sounds around her, hoping to catch any sign that help was near, but it was becoming increasingly difficult. Her mind drifted, thoughts of Spencer and the children mingling in a haze of pain and fear.

Finally, the pain became too much to bear. Y/N's body, pushed to its limits, began to shut down. Her eyelids fluttered, and she felt herself falling into the dark abyss of unconsciousness. The last thing she remembered was the faint, distant sound of sirens, a small beacon of hope in the overwhelming darkness.

As she passed out, her body remained still, the illusion of death convincing enough to keep the gunmen at bay. The children, still huddled together, continued to cry, unaware that Y/N's unconscious state was a result of her heroic efforts to protect them.

In the midst of chaos, Y/N's mind finally succumbed to the darkness, her body limp and motionless on the cold hospital floor.

—

Aaron Hotchner stood with the tactical team, coordinating the next steps of their entry strategy. His phone buzzed in his pocket, and he stepped aside to take the call, the tension evident in his posture.

"Hotchner," he answered, his voice steady.

"Sir, we have a report of a casualty inside the hospital. An adult, no ID yet," came the voice on the other end.

Hotch's heart sank. Y/N wasn't just Spencer's girlfriend; she was family to him. He'd known her for years, watching her grow from a compassionate, driven student into a dedicated child psychologist. She had been there for Jack during some of the hardest times in his life, and her presence had been a source of comfort and stability. He didn't want to jump to conclusions, but he couldn't ignore the gnawing fear that it could be Y/N.

He knew Spencer was already on edge, and the last thing he wanted was to add to his anxiety without concrete information. It could not be Y/N. The thought of her being in danger hit him hard, but he had to stay focused for the sake of the mission and everyone involved.

"Understood. Keep me updated," Hotch replied, his tone firm. He turned back to the team, his mind racing. They needed to move quickly and efficiently to minimize further casualties and end the standoff.

Hotch gathered Derek Morgan, David Rossi, and the law enforcement team, finalizing their plan. They would enter through multiple access points, coordinate with the hospital security, and neutralize the gunmen as swiftly as possible.

"We move on my signal," Hotch instructed, his voice carrying the authority and calm needed to lead the team through the chaos.

With a nod, the team moved into position. Hotch, Derek, and Rossi led the charge, their movements precise and controlled. The hospital corridors, usually a place of healing and care, were now battlegrounds filled with tension and fear.

As they breached the pediatric wing, the sound of their approach startled the gunmen. Derek and Rossi quickly subdued the nearest threats, their training and instincts taking over. Hotch moved methodically, his focus unyielding.

"FBI! Drop your weapons!" Hotch's voice echoed through the halls, a command that brooked no argument. The gunmen, caught off guard, began to surrender under the overwhelming presence of the tactical team.

In the midst of securing the area, Derek's keen eyes scanned the rooms for any sign of Y/N. He moved swiftly, his heart pounding with the urgency to find her safe. As he entered one of the rooms, he saw her—lying motionless on the floor, blood pooling beneath her shoulder.

"Y/N!" Derek shouted, rushing to her side. He checked for a pulse, relief washing over him when he felt the faint but steady beat. "Medic! We need a medic here, now!"

Derek gently cradled Y/N's head, his voice soothing despite the chaos around them. "Hang in there, Y/N. You're going to be okay. Help is on the way."

As the medics arrived and began to take her, Derek's thoughts were with Spencer. He knew his friend would be devastated to see Y/N like this, but he also knew that Spencer needed to know the truth.

"Hotch, we found her," Derek reported through his earpiece. "She's alive, but she needs medical attention immediately."

Hotch received Derek's message with a mix of relief and dread. He had to tell Spencer, but he needed to do it in a way that wouldn't distract him from the mission. As the team secured the remaining gunmen and ensured the safety of the children, Hotch made his way back to a quiet area where he could call Spencer.

The weight of what he had to say pressed heavily on his chest. Hotch knew how deeply Spencer cared for Y/N, and the thought of her being hurt was like a knife to his own heart. He took a deep breath and dialed Spencer's number, steeling himself for the conversation ahead.

"Spencer," Hotch said, his voice gentle yet firm when Spencer answered. "We found Y/N. She's alive, but she's injured. Derek and the medics are with her now."

There was a beat of silence on the other end, then a sharp intake of breath. Spencer's eyes widened, a mixture of fear and relief flooding his features. "I need to see her," he said, his voice trembling with emotion, barely holding back the panic threatening to overtake him.

"You will, Spencer," Hotch assured him, his own voice steady despite the turmoil inside. "But we need to make sure the area is completely secure first. Stay focused, and stay where you are. We'll get you to her as soon as it's safe."

Spencer nodded, though Hotch couldn't see it. "Okay," he whispered, his mind racing with images of Y/N lying injured, of the moments they had shared, of the fear that he might lose her. "Please... please hurry."

Hotch could hear the anguish in Spencer's voice, and it tore at him. "We will, Spencer. I promise."

Spencer hung up the phone, his hands shaking. He felt utterly helpless, a sensation he rarely experienced. The logical part of his brain fought to maintain control, to focus on the facts and the tasks at hand, but his heart was in turmoil. Y/N was hurt, and he wasn't there to protect her.

He paced the small room, his mind replaying every moment he had spent with Y/N, every laugh, every touch, every word. The thought of her in pain, of her possibly slipping away from him, was unbearable. He felt a tear escape, and he angrily wiped it away, determined to stay strong for her.

"You'll be okay, Y/N," he whispered to himself, his voice cracking. "You have to be okay."

Back inside the hospital, the team worked with precise urgency. Derek, Rossi, and the law enforcement officers moved through the corridors, securing the gunmen and ensuring the children's safety. Derek's thoughts kept drifting back to Y/N, lying there injured but alive. He pushed himself harder, knowing they needed to get Spencer to her as soon as possible.

Finally, with the immediate threat neutralized and the hostages safe, Derek made his way back to the entrance, where Spencer was waiting, his eyes searching desperately for any sign of Y/N. When Derek saw him, he felt a surge of empathy. Spencer looked like a man on the edge, barely holding himself together.

"Reid," Derek called out, his voice breaking the silence.

Spencer turned, his eyes filled with desperation. "Where is she? Is she okay?"

"She's in the medical bay," Derek said, his voice gentle. "She's stable, but we need to get her to a hospital for surgery."

Spencer didn't wait for Morgan to say anything else. He ran towards the medical bay, his heart pounding in his chest. When he reached it, he saw a flurry of activity, medics moving quickly and urgently around a stretcher. He strained to see through the chaos, his heart in his throat, desperate to catch a glimpse of Y/N.

"Where is she?" he shouted, his voice breaking. "I need to see her!"

A medic stepped in front of him, gently but firmly placing a hand on his shoulder. "Spencer, you can't go in there right now. She's in critical condition and has lost a lot of blood. They're doing everything they can to stabilize her."

Spencer felt like the ground had been pulled out from under him. He swayed slightly, his vision blurring with tears. "No, I need to see her. She needs to know I'm here."

The medic's eyes softened with understanding. "I know this is hard, but the best thing you can do right now is let them work. As soon as she's stable, you'll be the first to know."

Spencer nodded numbly, his heart aching with helplessness. He stepped back, his eyes never leaving the flurry of activity around the stretcher. Every second felt like an eternity as he stood there, silently willing her to hold on.

"I love you, Y/N," he whispered to himself, his voice filled with anguish. "Please hold on. Please be okay."

Finally, the medics began to move, preparing to transport Y/N to the hospital for surgery. Spencer followed as closely as he could, his heart breaking with every step. He couldn't be by her side right now, but he would be there the moment they let him. They had faced a nightmare, but he refused to believe this was the end. They had survived, and he would make sure they had many more days together, no matter what it took.

—

Spencer made his way to the waiting room, his steps heavy with worry. Approaching the receptionist, he tried to steady his voice. "Excuse me, could you please notify me when Y/N L/N is out of surgery?"

The receptionist looked up from her computer and asked, "And who are you in relation to her?"

"I'm her boyfriend," Spencer replied, his voice trembling with the effort to stay calm. “Spencer Reid.”

The receptionist frowned slightly and checked the records. "I'm sorry, but you're not listed as her emergency contact. We'll have to ask her once she's awake if she wants you to be notified."

Frustration surged through Spencer, and he clenched his fists. "You don't understand, she's... she will want me there. I need to know if she's okay. I need to see her."

Luckily, Hotch appeared at his side, placing a calming hand on Spencer's shoulder. "Spencer, it's okay. We'll figure this out."

Hotch turned to the receptionist. "I'm Aaron Hotchner, and Y/N's emergency contacts are myself and my wife, Haley Hotchner. Could you please update us on her status and inform us when she's out of surgery?"

The receptionist nodded, recognizing Hotch. "Of course, Agent Hotchner. We'll make sure you're informed."

As they sat in the waiting room, a storm of emotions churned within Spencer. The initial shock of hearing Y/N was injured had given way to a simmering frustration, which now threatened to boil over. He couldn't understand why he wasn't listed as her emergency contact. After everything they'd been through, after all the moments they had shared, why was he still on the periphery of her life?

Hotch's presence, usually a calming force, now felt like a reminder of his own inadequacy. Spencer tried to remind himself that Y/N had known the Hotchners much longer, and logically it made sense for them to be her contacts. But logic was a poor balm for his wounded pride and anxiety.

"Why am I not her emergency contact?" Spencer muttered under his breath, the words escaping before he could stop them. "We've been together for months. I've been there for her just as much as anyone else."

Hotch, overhearing, placed a hand on Spencer's shoulder. "Spencer, it's not about that. Y/N trusts you. This is just a formality."

"But it doesn’t feel like just a formality," Spencer shot back, his voice rising slightly. "It feels like... like I'm not as important to her as I thought I was."

Hotch met his gaze with steady eyes. "You're not thinking clearly right now. This isn't about who's more important. It's about who could get to her parents the fastest, who’s already in the system. We can update it later, but right now, focus on the fact that she's stable and going to be okay."

Spencer took a deep breath, trying to let Hotch's words sink in. But the knot of frustration in his chest wouldn't fully dissolve. He felt sidelined, helpless, and it was tearing him apart.

He ran a hand through his hair, struggling to keep his composure. "I just... I need to see her. I need to know she's okay."

"You will," Hotch promised, his voice firm. "We're going to see her as soon as they let us. She's going to need you, Spencer. So stay strong for her."

Spencer nodded, his heart aching with a mix of love and frustration. He wanted to be the one Y/N relied on, the one she turned to in her darkest moments. And perhaps, once she was awake and well, they could have that conversation. For now, he had to focus on being there for her, no matter what.

"Spencer, she's in good hands. The doctors are doing everything they can. Let's just focus on being here for her when she wakes up."

Spencer nodded, trying to take comfort in Hotch's words. He knew Hotch cared deeply for Y/N, almost like a sister, and seeing him so calm helped Spencer find some semblance of control.

Meanwhile, Haley was on the phone with Y/N's parents, explaining the situation. "M/N, D/N, Y/N's been hurt, but she's in surgery now. Aaron and I are here with her. I thought you should know. You might want to come as soon as you can."

Her parents, understandably distraught, promised to catch the next flight. "We'll be there as soon as we can, Haley. Thank you for letting us know."

With Y/N's parents on their way, Haley relieved Aaron to go home with Jack and kept Spencer company in the waiting room. She sat next to Spencer, offering him a supportive smile. "She'll pull through, Spencer. She's strong. Just hold on a little longer."

Spencer nodded, trying to take comfort in her words. He appreciated Haley's presence, even though his mind was a whirlwind of worry and frustration. The waiting was agonizing, each passing second dragging on interminably. Every time a doctor or nurse walked by, his heart would leap into his throat, hoping for news.

Finally, after what felt like an eternity, a surgeon approached them, his expression serious but not grim. Spencer stood up, his pulse quickening.

"Y/N L/N is out of surgery," the surgeon said, and Spencer's breath caught. "The bullet missed any major organs, but she lost a lot of blood. She's stable now and will be moved to the ICU shortly. You can see her once she's settled."

Relief flooded Spencer, and he nodded, tears of gratitude welling up in his eyes. "Thank you. Thank you so much."

Haley squeezed his shoulder again, a silent reminder of the support surrounding him. "I’m going to go see her," she said softly. “I’ll tell her you’re here, ask about having you come back.”

Spencer watched as Haley walked towards the ICU, his mind a tumult of emotions. He was relieved beyond measure, but the ordeal had taken a toll on him. He sank back into his chair, trying to steady his breathing, to calm the frantic beating of his heart.

Minutes later, which felt like hours, Haley returned, her expression gentle but firm. "She’s still groggy, but she’s awake. She wants to see you."

Spencer's heart leapt. He stood up, his legs feeling unsteady, and followed Haley to the ICU. As they walked through the sterile corridors, his thoughts raced. He felt a mixture of overwhelming relief and lingering fear, the adrenaline of the past hours still coursing through his veins.

They reached Y/N's room, and Haley gently opened the door. Spencer stepped inside, his eyes immediately finding Y/N on the bed. She looked pale and fragile, but her eyes were open, and a faint smile played on her lips when she saw him.

"Spence," she whispered, her voice weak but filled with emotion.

Spencer crossed the room in a few quick strides and took her hand, careful not to jostle her. "I'm here," he said, his voice breaking. "I'm right here."

Y/N's fingers tightened around his. "I knew you'd come," she murmured. "I knew you'd be here."

Spencer leaned down and pressed a gentle kiss to her forehead. "I love you, Y/N. So much."

"I love you too," she whispered back, her eyes closing again as exhaustion overtook her.

Y/N felt the overwhelming relief of seeing Spencer by her side, his presence a soothing balm to her frayed nerves. As his hand enveloped hers, a sense of safety and comfort washed over her. The pain and fear that had gripped her began to ebb away, replaced by the warmth of his touch and the love in his eyes. With Spencer there, holding her hand and whispering words of love and comfort, she finally felt safe enough to rest. The rhythm of his breathing, the warmth of his presence—it was all she needed to drift into a peaceful sleep, knowing she was not alone.

Spencer stayed by her side, his heart aching with love and relief. He watched her breathe, the rise and fall of her chest a soothing rhythm that calmed his frayed nerves. He knew the road to recovery would be long, but they were together, and that was all that mattered.

Haley stood by the door, giving them a moment of privacy before she quietly left to update the others. Spencer barely noticed, his entire focus on Y/N. He held her hand, whispering words of love and reassurance, promising to be there for her every step of the way.

When Y/N woke up, the room was filled with a soft morning light filtering through the blinds. Her eyes fluttered open, adjusting to the dim glow, and she immediately felt the presence of her parents. Her father stood at the foot of the bed, his usually stoic demeanor cracking under the weight of worry for his daughter's health. As a healthcare worker himself, he understood the gravity of her condition, and it showed in the deep lines of concern etched on his face.

Her mother, always kind but with a slightly cold detachment due to her autism, was silently crying. She leaned over, gently kissing Y/N’s forehead, a rare display of emotion and physical contact that spoke volumes about her love and fear.

Both parents were so focused on Y/N that they barely noticed the man asleep next to her bed, or barely cared. Spencer was slumped over in the hospital chair, his hand still entwined with Y/N’s, his face resting on the edge of the bed. The uncomfortable position had left him sore, but he had refused to leave her side.

As Y/N stirred, her father finally noticed Spencer. He glanced at his wife, silently acknowledging the presence of the young man who had stayed with their daughter through the night. There was an unspoken understanding between them, a recognition of Spencer's dedication and love for Y/N.

Spencer woke up with a start, the realization of new faces in the room jolting him upright. His body ached from the awkward position, but his concern for Y/N overrode any discomfort. He quickly assessed the situation, his gaze moving from Y/N's parents to her, checking to see how she was feeling.

Y/N's father stepped forward, extending a hand. "You must be Spencer. I'm Dr. L/N, Y/N's father. Thank you for being here with her."

Spencer stood up, shaking the offered hand. "Yes, sir. Spencer Reid. I'm... I'm her boyfriend," he said, a bit flustered but determined to show his respect.

Her mother, still holding Y/N’s hand, gave Spencer a nod of acknowledgment. "Thank you for staying with her," she said, her voice soft but sincere.

Y/N squeezed Spencer's hand, offering him a reassuring smile despite her own fatigue. "Spence, these are my parents," she introduced gently. "Dad, Mom, this is Spencer."

Spencer nodded, looking at Y/N’s parents with a mix of gratitude and determination. "I wouldn't be anywhere else. I love her."

Dr. L/N gave a small, approving nod, while Y/N's mother gently squeezed her daughter's hand, her tears finally stopping as she found some solace in the love surrounding her child.

The room was filled with a palpable sense of relief and unity. Despite the fear and pain of the past hours, there was a shared understanding that together, they would support Y/N through her recovery, each drawing strength from the presence of the others.

As the days passed, Y/N remained in the hospital, her body gradually healing from the surgery. The sterile environment that had once felt like a sanctuary of healing now felt like a constant reminder of the trauma she had endured. Each day, she was faced with the decision that weighed heavily on her mind: should she stay at her current job, where she no longer felt safe, or should she take her parents up on their offer to move in with them and start anew at her father's hospital?

During her recovery, Y/N spent a lot of time alone with her thoughts, the hospital room both a place of healing and a crucible for her inner turmoil. She looked out the window, watching the world go by, feeling disconnected from it all. The decision felt like a crossroads, each path holding its own set of challenges and uncertainties.

In the quiet moments, she replayed the day she was shot over and over in her mind. The fear, the helplessness, the pain—it all came rushing back. Could she really return to the place where she had almost lost her life? She loved her job and the children she worked with, but the thought of walking through those halls again filled her with dread.

On the other hand, the idea of moving back in with her parents felt like a step backward. She had worked so hard to build her own life and establish her independence. Yet, the safety and comfort of her parents' home and the opportunity to work alongside her father at his hospital seemed appealing. It would provide her with a fresh start, away from the memories of the trauma, and a chance to heal both physically and emotionally.

Y/N's parents visited her often, bringing warmth and reassurance. Her father, with his calm demeanor, spoke about the new position at his hospital, emphasizing how much they needed someone with her skills and compassion. Her mother, despite her usual reserved nature, expressed how much she wanted Y/N to be safe and close to them. Their love and concern were evident, and it tugged at Y/N's heartstrings.

Spencer was a constant presence, too. He stayed with her as much as possible, bringing books to read together and engaging in gentle, comforting conversations. He was her rock, his quiet strength a source of solace. But she knew that staying with him meant staying in the city, where the memories of the shooting would linger.

—

As Y/N finally left the hospital, she decided to celebrate her recovery with a special dinner for her parents and Spencer. She chose a cozy, intimate restaurant where they could all relax and enjoy a pleasant evening together. The soft lighting and warm atmosphere provided the perfect setting for the occasion.

As they sat down at their table, Y/N smiled at the three people who meant the most to her. She felt a deep sense of gratitude for their support and love throughout her recovery. The conversation flowed easily, with laughter and shared stories.

"Spencer, did you know my dad is a doctor too?" Y/N said, glancing between Spencer and her father. "It's one of the reasons I chose to work in healthcare."

Spencer nodded, smiling at her father. "Yes, Y/N mentioned it. What field are you in, Mr. L/N?"

"I'm in internal medicine," her father replied, his eyes twinkling with pride. "Y/N has always had a passion for helping others. I'm glad she's found her own path in the medical field."

Y/N's mother chimed in, her voice warm but slightly detached, "And we hear you're a doctor too, Spencer. That's quite impressive."

Spencer blushed slightly, feeling the weight of their admiration. "Yes, I'm a profiler with the Behavioral Analysis Unit. It's a bit different from traditional medicine, but it's incredibly rewarding."

The conversation continued pleasantly, with everyone enjoying the meal and each other's company. However, the topic soon turned to the decision that had been weighing heavily on Y/N's mind.

"So, Y/N, have you made a decision?" her father asked gently, his tone filled with concern.

Spencer looked puzzled, glancing between Y/N and her parents. "What decision are you talking about?"

Y/N hesitated, her heart racing. Before she could respond, her mother, oblivious to the tension, answered, "Oh, the decision about whether Y/N will stay here or move back home with us to work at her father's hospital. We think it would be best for her to be closer to family, especially after what happened."

Spencer's face fell, a mix of shock and hurt washing over him. He looked at Y/N, his eyes filled with a storm of emotions. "Y/N, you never mentioned this to me," he said quietly, his voice trembling.

Y/N reached out to him, her eyes pleading. "Spence, I was going to talk to you about it. I just... I needed more time to figure things out."

But Spencer was already standing, his chair scraping against the floor. "I need some air," he muttered, turning and walking out of the restaurant before anyone could stop him.

Y/N watched him go, her heart breaking. She turned back to her parents, her eyes filled with tears. "I need to go after him," she said, her voice choked with emotion.

Her father nodded, understanding. "Go, Y/N. We'll be here when you get back."

Y/N hurried out of the restaurant, searching for Spencer. She found him outside, leaning against a lamppost, his shoulders hunched. She approached him slowly, her heart aching for the pain she saw in his eyes.

"Spence," she whispered, reaching out to touch his arm. "I'm so sorry. I was going to tell you."

Spencer looked at her, his eyes filled with a mixture of love and anguish. "Why didn't you, Y/N? Why didn't you trust me enough to share this with me?"

Y/N's tears flowed freely now, her voice trembling. "I was scared, Spence. Scared of losing you, scared of making the wrong decision. I didn't want to burden you with my doubts."

Spencer took a deep breath, his expression softening slightly. "Y/N, you're not a burden. I love you, and I want to be there for you, no matter what. But we can't keep secrets from each other. We have to face these challenges together."

As they stood in the dim light outside the restaurant, Spencer stepped back slightly, searching Y/N’s eyes for answers. His voice was soft but tinged with hurt and confusion. "Y/N, why are you even considering leaving? Is it because of me?"

Y/N's eyes widened in shock, she stepped forward and brought her hands up to cradle his face. "No, Spencer, it's not because of you. It's not about you at all."

"Then why?" he asked, his voice cracking. "Why are you thinking about moving back home?"

Y/N took a deep breath, trying to find the right words. "It's because of what happened, Spence. After getting shot, I don't feel safe at the hospital anymore. I thought I could handle it, but every time I walk through those doors, I relive that moment. My parents offered me a job at my dad's hospital, and it feels like a safe place to heal and recover."

Spencer looked down, his heart heavy with the weight of her words. "I just thought... I thought we were building something here, together. I didn't realize you were struggling so much."

"I'm so sorry I didn't tell you sooner," Y/N whispered, tears streaming down her face. "I didn't want to worry you, and I didn't know how to bring it up. But please believe me, Spencer, you're the reason I want to stay. You're my anchor, my safe place. I love you so much."

Spencer's eyes, instead of softening, hardened with a mix of confusion and frustration. "Why didn't you tell me, Y/N? How could you keep something this big from me?" His voice was louder now, the pain and anger evident.

"I didn't know how, Spencer! I was scared and confused," Y/N cried, her voice cracking. "I didn't want to burden you with my fears."

"Burden me?" Spencer repeated incredulously. "Y/N, we're supposed to share our burdens, not hide them from each other! Do you have any idea how it feels to find out like this, from your parents, not from you?"

Y/N flinched at his words, the guilt gnawing at her. "I know, and I'm sorry. But this isn't easy for me either! I don't feel safe there anymore, and my parents offered me a way out."

"A way out? So you're just going to run away?" Spencer snapped, the anger he rarely showed now surfacing. "What about us? What about what we're doing here?"

"Don't you think I want to stay?" Y/N shot back, her own anger flaring. "Don't you think I want to be with you? But I can't keep pretending everything's okay when it's not!"

Spencer ran a hand through his hair, pacing in frustration. "I thought we were in this together. But it feels like you're making decisions without me."

"I'm trying to figure things out, Spencer! I'm scared, and I don't know what to do," Y/N shouted, her voice breaking. "But that doesn't mean I don't love you."

Spencer stopped pacing and turned to face her, his eyes filled with a mix of anger and hurt. "Then why does it feel like you're already leaving?"

Y/N took a deep breath, her voice trembling as she replied, "I think we both know the answer to that."

Spencer's face fell, a look of devastation crossing his features. "Y/N, don't... please."

She shook her head, tears streaming down her cheeks. "Spence, I love you, but I can't stay here feeling like this. I'm scared all the time, and I can't keep pretending that everything's okay. It’s not fair to either of us."

"But we can work through this," Spencer argued, his voice desperate. "We can find a way."

Y/N's voice broke as she continued, "I wish it were that simple. But every time I walk into that hospital, I relive that day. I can't breathe, I can't function. I can't keep living like this."

Spencer's eyes filled with tears, his voice barely a whisper. "So, what does this mean for us?"

Y/N's heart ached as she looked at him, her voice raw with pain. "It means I need to go home, to heal. I need time, and space, and I can't do that here. And you... you need to be here, doing what you do best. It's not fair to ask you to leave everything for me."

Spencer shook his head, his tears falling freely now. "I don't care about that. I care about you. I can't lose you."

Y/N stepped closer, her hand gently cupping his cheek. "You won't lose me. But we both need to take this time to figure things out. Maybe one day, when we're both ready, we can find our way back to each other."

Spencer closed his eyes, leaning into her touch. "I don't want to wait. I want you now."

Y/N's heart shattered at his words, but she knew what needed to be done. "I know, Spence. But right now, I need to do this for me. And you need to let me."

Spencer opened his eyes, the pain evident in his gaze. "I don't know if I can."

Y/N's voice was soft but firm. "You can. You're stronger than you think. And so am I. We'll get through this, somehow."

Spencer took a deep breath, trying to steady himself. "I love you, Y/N. More than anything."

"I love you too, Spence," she whispered, her voice breaking. "That's why this hurts so much."

—

Y/N stumbled down the street, tears streaming down her face. She didn’t care that she had abandoned her parents at the restaurant or that she probably looked crazy. She couldn’t bear the weight of the conversation with Spencer any longer. Her heart ached with the realization of how deeply she had hurt him, and now she felt lost, not knowing what to do next. She needed someone to talk to, someone who could offer her guidance. Without much thought, she found herself walking toward the Hotchner household, seeking out Haley.

When she arrived, Haley opened the door, her face filled with concern upon seeing Y/N’s tear-streaked face. She immediately welcomed her inside, guiding her to the living room and offering her a comforting hug.

“Y/N, what’s wrong? What happened?” Haley asked gently, leading her to the couch.

Y/N took a deep breath, trying to compose herself. “I don’t know what to do, Haley. Spencer and I… we just had a huge fight. He’s so hurt, and I feel like everything is my fault. My parents want me to go back home with them, but I don’t know if that’s the right thing to do. I love Spencer so much, but I don’t want to keep hurting him. But… I’m also hurting so bad right now. I don’t know if I can go back to my normal life.”

Haley nodded, listening intently. “Relationships are hard, Y/N. They’re ever-changing, and you have to grow together each year. It’s not always easy, but if you really love someone, you find a way to make it work.”

Y/N looked up at Haley, her eyes searching for reassurance. “Do you really think Spencer and I can get through this? Do you think we’re right for each other?”

Haley smiled softly. “I haven’t seen two people so perfect for each other in a long time. Aaron and I have talked about it, and we both agree that we’ve never seen Spencer glow like he does when he talks about you. He’s happier, more at ease. Aaron even noticed that he picks at his fingers less, doesn’t get as many migraines, and talks to his mom more since you came into his life. You’ve made a huge impact on him.”

Y/N’s heart swelled with emotion, but doubt still lingered. “But what if I can’t fix this? What if he never forgives me?”

Haley squeezed her hand reassuringly. “You have to try, Y/N. Relationships aren’t about being perfect; they’re about loving each other through the imperfections. Spencer loves you, and you love him. That’s a strong foundation to build on. It’s going to take time and effort, but if you both want it, you can make it work.”

Y/N wiped away her tears, feeling a glimmer of hope. “Thank you, Haley. I needed to hear that.”

Haley smiled warmly. “Anytime, Y/N. Just remember, it’s okay to ask for help and lean on the people who care about you. You don't have to be alone in this.”

Y/N nodded, “Haley, I’m scared,” she admitted, her voice trembling. “I’ve already hurt him so much. What if he doesn’t want to give us another chance?”

Haley took a deep breath, her expression serious yet compassionate. “Y/N, Spencer loves you. That kind of love doesn’t just disappear. Yes, he’s hurt, and it might take time for him to heal. But he’s also strong and capable of forgiveness. The key is showing him that you’re committed to making things right.”

Y/N nodded, her eyes filled with uncertainty. “But how do I do that? How do I prove to him that I’m not going to run away again?”

Haley leaned forward, her gaze intense. “You have to be honest with him, Y/N. About everything. Tell him why you’re thinking about leaving, what you are feeling, and what you want for the future. He needs to understand that your decision to leave isn’t because you don’t love him, but because you are scared and confused.”

Y/N wiped away another tear, her heart heavy with regret. “I should have talked to him instead of running away. I see that now. But I was so afraid that he wouldn’t understand, that he would see me as weak.”

Haley’s expression softened, and she reached out to gently squeeze Y/N’s hand. “We all have moments of weakness, Y/N. It’s part of being human. But it’s how we deal with those moments that define us. Spencer doesn’t see you as weak; he sees you as someone he loves deeply. And if you’re willing to fight for your relationship, he will see that too.”

Y/N took a deep breath, trying to steady her emotions. “Do you really think he’ll give me another chance?”

Haley smiled, her eyes filled with reassurance. “I do. But you have to be patient. And from what I’ve seen, you and Spencer have something truly special.”

Y/N clung to Haley, grateful for her support and guidance. She knew the road ahead wouldn’t be easy, but with Haley’s words echoing in her mind, she felt ready to face the challenges and fight for the love she and Spencer shared.

She still had a big decision to make.

—

Spencer, his face streaked with tears, knocked on Emily's apartment door with a heavy heart. He didn't know where else to turn. Emily had always been like a big sister to him, someone who could offer the comfort and perspective he desperately needed. And he didn’t want Derek to see him cry.

Emily opened the door, her concern evident the moment she saw him. "Spencer, what happened?" she asked, stepping aside to let him in.

Without a word, Spencer walked in and collapsed onto her couch, his body wracked with sobs. Emily sat beside him, offering a comforting presence. Sergio, her cat, sensed the tension and padded over, nuzzling against Spencer's leg.

Spencer reached down to stroke Sergio, the gentle purring providing a small, welcome distraction from his overwhelming emotions. After a few moments, he began to speak, his voice choked with grief. "Emily, I don't understand. She’s thinking about leaving. She didn't even tell me she was considering it. I thought we were working things out."

Emily's eyes widened in surprise. "Who’s thinking about leaving? Y/N? Y/N's thinking about leaving? What do you mean, Spencer? I had no idea she was even considering it."

Spencer looked up, his eyes red and swollen. "She’s been talking to her parents about moving back home with them. She’s so hurt, Emily. She doesn’t feel safe here anymore. And now, she’s thinking about going back because she thinks it’s the only way to heal."

Emily listened intently, her heart aching for her friend. "Spencer, I know this is incredibly hard for you. But you have to remember, Y/N's situation is different. She went through something traumatic. It's not like facing unsubs for us."

Spencer looked up, his eyes red and swollen. "But why didn't she talk to me? Why didn't she trust me enough to share her fears? I've faced danger too, and I never thought about leaving."

Emily reached out, placing a hand on his shoulder. "Spencer, what we do for a living isn't normal. We’re trained to handle these situations. Y/N isn’t. Her job was about helping people, not facing life-threatening dangers every day. It’s not about her not trusting you. It’s about her needing to feel safe and in control of her own life again."

Spencer nodded, trying to understand, but the pain was still raw. "I just... I feel so helpless. I love her so much, and I can't stand the thought of losing her. It feels like she's giving up on us."

Emily sighed, pulling him into a gentle hug. "Spencer, she's not giving up on you. She's trying to heal in the only way she knows how. It doesn't mean she doesn't love you. She just needs time and space to figure things out."

Sergio climbed onto Spencer's lap, curling up and purring louder. Spencer stroked the cat absentmindedly, finding a small measure of comfort in the simple act. "I just wish I could understand her better. I want to support her, but I don't know how."

Emily gave him a reassuring smile. "You already are supporting her by trying to understand. Give her time, and give yourself time too. Healing isn't a straight path, and it's okay to feel lost right now."

Spencer nodded, the tears still flowing but his heart a little lighter. 

After leaving Emily's apartment, Spencer found himself wandering through the quiet streets, his thoughts a tangled mess of emotions. The night air was cool, but it did little to calm the storm raging inside him. Emily's words had brought some clarity, but the pain and confusion remained.

As he walked, Spencer's mind kept returning to Y/N. Her smile, the way her eyes lit up when she talked about something she loved, the comfort he felt in her presence – all of it played on a loop in his mind. He couldn't shake the feeling of betrayal, but underneath that was a deeper, more painful emotion: fear. Fear of losing her, fear of being alone again, fear of never finding that same connection with anyone else.

He thought about the nights they spent together, talking about everything and nothing, the way she made him feel understood in a way no one else ever had. She had become his safe place, his anchor in a world that often felt overwhelming. The idea of her leaving, of not having her in his life, was unbearable.

Spencer stopped by a park bench and sat down, burying his face in his hands. He felt tears welling up again, and he let them fall freely. Why can't I fix this? he thought. Why can't I make her see that she doesn't have to run away to heal?

He remembered their early days together, how effortlessly they had clicked, how natural it had felt to be with her. They had shared so many dreams and hopes for the future, and now it all seemed to be slipping away. He couldn't understand why she hadn't come to him, why she had kept her fears and plans hidden until now. It felt like a betrayal, but he also knew that she was hurting in ways he couldn't fully comprehend.

Maybe I'm not enough for her, he thought, the doubt creeping in. Maybe she needs more than I can give. The idea of her moving back home, starting a new life without him, was a knife to his heart. But he couldn't force her to stay, couldn't make her see things his way. All he could do was be there for her, support her in whatever decision she made, even if it meant letting her go.

He wiped his eyes and took a deep breath, trying to steady himself. "I love you, Y/N," he whispered into the night. "And I will always love you, no matter what happens. I just wish you could see how much I need you, how much we need each other."

The thought of her leaving still tore him apart, but he knew he had to respect her choices, even if it broke his heart. As he stood up to head home, he made a silent vow to himself: to be the best partner he could be, to support her through her pain, and to hope that, in time, they could find their way back to each other.

—

The BAU team was exhausted as they stepped off the jet, the weight of their latest case still heavy on their shoulders. It had been a grueling two weeks, filled with sleepless nights and relentless days. Yet, for Spencer Reid, the exhaustion went beyond the physical. His heartache was evident to everyone, casting a shadow over the team's usual camaraderie.

Spencer barely acknowledged anyone as they made their way to their desks. His eyes were sunken, dark circles prominent under them, and his shoulders slumped with an invisible weight. The team exchanged worried glances, their concern for him palpable. Spencer’s usual spark was missing, replaced by a haunting emptiness.

Hotch noticed Spencer's avoidance and knew why. He himself had struggled with the knowledge of Y/N's final decision. The unspoken tension between them was thick, neither willing to confront the painful truth just yet.

Emily watched Spencer with a heavy heart. She had seen him hurt before, but this was different. The loss of Y/N had gutted him in a way that no other personal tragedy had. She approached him gently, placing a hand on his shoulder. "Spence, you holding up?" she asked softly.

Spencer forced a small, tired smile. "Yeah, I'm fine," he lied, his voice hollow. "Just tired."

Derek, sitting nearby, shook his head. "We’re all tired, man, but this isn’t just about the case, is it?" His voice was filled with a mix of concern and frustration. "You don't have to pretend with us."

Spencer glanced around, his eyes briefly meeting each of theirs. He knew they cared, knew they wanted to help, but the pain was too raw, too personal. "I just need some time," he said quietly, his gaze dropping to his desk. "I'll be okay."

JJ, standing by Hotch's office, crossed her arms and frowned. "Spence, we’re your family. Lean on us. We’re here for you, no matter what."

Hotch, who had been silently observing, stepped forward. "Take some time off, Spencer. Go home, rest. We’ve got things covered here."

Spencer nodded, not trusting himself to speak. He grabbed his bag and made his way out, feeling the weight of their concern following him. As he exited the building, he couldn't shake the image of Y/N from his mind, wondering if she was still in Quantico or if she had already left for good.

Back inside, the team watched him go, their hearts heavy with worry. Emily turned to Hotch. "Do you know if she’s still here?" she asked softly.

Hotch sighed, running a hand through his hair. "I don’t know. She was supposed to make a decision while we were gone. I haven’t heard from her."

Penelope, who had been unusually quiet, finally spoke up, her voice trembling. "I tried calling her, but she never answered. I didn’t want to invade her privacy by tracking her down, but... I’m so worried about both of them."

Rossi, leaning against his desk, shook his head. "Sometimes, love isn’t enough. They both have to want to fight for it. And right now, it seems like they’re both too hurt to see clearly."

The team nodded, knowing Rossi was right but still hoping for a miracle. They had seen Spencer at his best and his worst, and they weren’t ready to give up on him—or Y/N.

Meanwhile, Spencer wandered through the streets of Quantico, his mind a whirlwind of memories and emotions. He missed Y/N with every fiber of his being, but the fear of hearing she had left was paralyzing. He wanted to reach out to her, to beg her to stay, but he didn’t know if he could handle another rejection.

As he walked, his phone buzzed in his pocket. He pulled it out, his heart skipping a beat when he saw a message from Hotch.

Spencer, I know you’re struggling. If you need to talk, I’m here. Don’t shut us out.

Spencer stared at the message, feeling a surge of emotion. He typed a quick response, Thanks, Hotch. I’ll be okay, before shoving his phone back in his pocket. He wasn’t ready to talk yet, but the offer of support meant more than he could express.

Spencer walked the entire way home, his mind a tangled web of thoughts and emotions. He needed the time to process everything that had happened over the past few weeks, to try and make sense of his feelings. As he approached his apartment building, he noticed a figure slumped against the wall near his door. His heart rate quickened with alarm, but as he drew closer, he saw the familiar green Converse sneakers and his breath caught in his throat.

It was Y/N.

She was sitting on the ground, her arms wrapped around her shins, her head resting on her knees. The sight of her there, vulnerable and broken, stirred a whirlwind of emotions within him. He felt an overwhelming surge of love and relief, but also a gnawing fear of reopening old wounds.

Spencer stood frozen for a moment, his mind racing. Should he approach her? What would he say? Would she welcome him or push him away? He felt a wave of doubt and uncertainty, but then he saw her shoulders shaking with silent sobs, and the decision was made for him.

Slowly, hesitantly, he walked toward her, his footsteps almost silent. He knelt down beside her, his hand trembling as he reached out to touch her shoulder. The moment his fingers brushed against her, she looked up, her tear-filled eyes meeting his. For a split second, time seemed to stand still, and all the hurt and confusion of the past weeks melted away, leaving only the profound connection between them.

"Y/N," he whispered, his voice filled with emotion.

"Spence," she choked out, her voice cracking as fresh tears welled up in her eyes.

Spencer felt his heart swell with a mix of love and sorrow. Without another word, he gently helped her to her feet, their eyes never breaking contact. He could see the depth of her pain, the regret etched on her face, and it mirrored his own.

As they stood there, the night air cool around them, Spencer realized that he couldn't turn away from her. He couldn't let his fear and anger keep him from the person he loved most in the world. He took a deep breath, his resolve strengthening.

"Come inside," he said softly, guiding her towards the door. "Let's talk."

Y/N nodded, her fingers clutching his hand as if afraid he might disappear. They walked into the apartment in silence, the familiar surroundings bringing a sense of comfort and security. Spencer led her to the couch, where they both sat down, the tension between them palpable.

Spencer got up briefly to get them each a glass of water, hoping it would help calm their nerves. When he returned, he sat at one end of the couch, Y/N at the other. The distance between them felt like a chasm, a stark contrast to the closeness they once shared.

Y/N took a sip of her water, her hands shaking slightly. Finally, she broke the silence, her voice barely above a whisper. "I couldn't leave."

Spencer's eyes softened, his own heart aching with the weight of their shared pain. "You couldn't or you wouldn't?"

Y/N's gaze met his, filled with unshed tears. "I couldn't. I couldn't leave you."

Spencer set his glass down and moved a little closer, the emotional distance still lingering between them. "I was so scared, Y/N. Scared that you were leaving because I wasn’t enough, because I couldn’t protect you. I didn’t understand why you would go through something like that alone."

Y/N shook her head, her voice trembling as she spoke. "I thought I was protecting you, Spence. I thought leaving would make things easier for both of us, but I was wrong. I see that now."

Spencer's eyes held a mix of frustration and hurt. "You broke my trust, Y/N. You left without a word, without giving us a chance to face it together. Do you have any idea what that did to me?"

Y/N's tears spilled over, her voice breaking. "I know, and I'm so sorry. I was scared and confused, but that doesn’t excuse what I did. I thought I could handle it on my own, but I need you, Spencer. I need us."

Spencer took a deep breath, the pain in his chest easing slightly as he saw the sincerity in her eyes. He moved a little closer, closing some of the distance between them. "I want to believe you, Y/N. I really do. But it’s going to take time. I need to see that you mean what you say."

Y/N nodded, her heart heavy with regret but also filled with hope. "I understand, and I'm willing to do whatever it takes to make things right. I love you, Spencer. More than anything."

Spencer looked at her, his own tears threatening to fall. "I love you too, Y/N. Let's take this one step at a time."

Y/N smiled through her tears, the first genuine smile she had felt in weeks. "One step at a time."

As they sat there, the weight of their emotions hanging in the air, they both felt a glimmer of hope. It wouldn't be easy, but they were willing to try. And in that moment, it was enough.

—

Spencer arrived at his desk, his mind still a whirlwind of emotions from the encounter with Y/N. He noticed an envelope sitting there, his name clearly scrawled in Y/N's familiar handwriting. His heart skipped a beat as he picked it up, fingers trembling slightly as he opened it.

Inside, he found a handwritten note from Y/N. Taking a deep breath, he began to read.

Spencer,

I know I’ve apologized before, but I need to do it again. I’m truly sorry for the pain I caused you, for breaking your trust and your heart. I can’t change the past, but I want to make things right. I want to start over, to rebuild what we had, if you’re willing to give me that chance.

I’m inviting you to a second first date. Just you and me, getting to know each other again. No pressure, no expectations, just a chance to see if we can find our way back to each other. Meet me at the park by the fountain at 6 PM on Saturday. If you don’t come, I’ll understand, but I hope you do.

Yours always,

Y/N

Spencer's heart raced as he read the note, his mind a mix of hope, fear, and uncertainty. As he sat there, contemplating what to do, he knew that he couldn’t let fear hold him back. This was a chance to rebuild, to see if the love they once shared could be rekindled. And for that, he was willing to take the risk.

Carefully folding the note, he placed it back in the envelope and slipped it into his jacket pocket. 

Spencer looked up from the note, momentarily startled by Derek's voice. He quickly tried to compose himself, but Derek had already caught the slight flush of color in Spencer's cheeks.

"What ya got there, pretty boy?" Derek asked, leaning against the edge of Spencer's desk with a teasing grin.

Spencer hesitated for a moment, his fingers still holding the envelope. He glanced down at it, then back up at Derek, deciding that honesty might be the best approach. "It's a note from Y/N," he said quietly, his voice betraying a mix of emotions.

Derek raised an eyebrow, his curiosity piqued. "A note from Y/N, huh? What does it say?"

Spencer sighed, feeling a bit vulnerable. "She apologized again and... she invited me to a second first date," he admitted, a faint smile tugging at the corners of his mouth despite the turmoil inside.

Derek's grin widened. "A second first date? Sounds like she's really trying to make things right. How do you feel about that?"

Spencer glanced back at the note, his mind racing with thoughts and emotions. "I don't know, Derek. Part of me is still hurt and angry, but another part of me... I want to give it another chance. I miss her."

Derek nodded, his expression turning serious. "You’ve been through a lot, man. It's okay to be cautious, but it’s also okay to follow your heart. If you think there’s a chance to rebuild, then go for it. But do what feels right for you."

Spencer took a deep breath, appreciating Derek's support. "Thanks, Derek. I think I’ll give it a shot and see what happens."

Derek clapped him on the shoulder, offering a reassuring squeeze. "Good for you, pretty boy."

— 

Y/N glanced at her watch again, her heart sinking as the minutes ticked by. It was 6:05 pm, and Spencer still hadn't shown up. She tried to keep her hope alive, but the longer she waited, the harder it became. She could already feel her heart breaking, the familiar ache of disappointment setting in.

Just as she was about to give up and call it a night, she heard the sound of hurried footsteps. She looked up to see Spencer jogging towards her, his face flushed and slightly out of breath. Relief and a flicker of hope filled her heart as he reached her, panting lightly.

"I'm so sorry I'm late," Spencer said between breaths, his eyes wide with sincerity and regret. "I couldn't decide if I wanted to come. But I’m here now."

Y/N's eyes softened, a mix of emotions swirling within her. "You came," she said, her voice a little shaky. "That's what matters."

Spencer took a deep breath, finally catching his breath. "I know I’ve been a mess, and I’ve struggled with everything that happened. But I couldn’t ignore this chance, Y/N. I couldn't let you slip away without trying."

Y/N nodded, feeling a tear escape and roll down her cheek. "I’m glad you’re here, Spencer."

Spencer stepped closer, his eyes never leaving hers. "I miss you, Y/N. I miss us. Can we try to find our way back to each other?"

Y/N's heart swelled with hope and determination. "Yes, Spencer. We can try. We can start with this second first date and see where it takes us."

They stood there for a moment, the tension easing as they both felt the possibility of a fresh start. Spencer smiled, his nerves settling a bit. "Shall we?" he asked, offering her his arm.

Y/N smiled back, linking her arm with his. "Yes, let's."

Spencer looked at her curiously. "Where are we going?"

"You'll see," she replied with a mysterious smile.

After a short walk, they arrived at a newly opened Thai restaurant. Spencer's eyes widened in surprise. "The Thai place! I've been wanting to try this for weeks. How did you know?"

Y/N smiled warmly. "I remember you mentioning it a while ago. I thought it would be a nice surprise."

Spencer's face lit up with a blend of joy and disbelief. "You remembered that?"

She chuckled, feeling a warm flutter in her chest. "I pay attention to the things you say, Spencer. You matter to me."

Once seated, Spencer noticed Y/N reaching into her bag. She pulled out a book and placed it on the table between them. It was a rare Russian literature book he had been searching for but couldn't find.

Spencer's jaw dropped. "How did you…? This book is almost impossible to find!"

Y/N grinned. "I have my ways."

Spencer felt his heart swell with emotion. "Y/N, this means so much to me. Thank you."

They ordered their food, and as they waited, they held hands over the table, their fingers intertwined. The nervousness of their first date mingled with the comfort of their familiar bond, creating a blend of excitement and warmth.

Spencer smiled, a touch of mischief in his eyes. "Remember our first date? I was so nervous, I almost spilled coffee all over myself."

Y/N laughed softly, squeezing his hand. "I remember. You were adorable. Still are, actually."

Spencer blushed, his gaze never leaving hers. "You make me feel like the luckiest guy in the world."

Their conversation flowed easily, filled with laughter and shared memories. They talked about their favorite moments together, their hopes for the future, and the joy of reconnecting. Every glance, every touch, was a reaffirmation of their love.

"So, what else do you have planned for tonight?" Spencer asked, his voice playful.

Y/N smirked, leaning in closer. "You'll have to wait and see. But I promise, it’s something you'll love."

Spencer raised an eyebrow, intrigued. "You always know how to keep me on my toes."

When their food arrived, they eagerly dug in, sharing bites and savoring the flavors. The meal was delicious, and the ambiance was perfect. They were in their own little world, surrounded by the buzz of the restaurant but completely focused on each other.

Y/N took a sip of her drink and looked at Spencer with a teasing glint in her eye. "You know, I think this date is going pretty well. What do you think, Dr. Reid?"

Spencer grinned, playing along. "I think it's going exceptionally well, Dr. L/N. You certainly know how to impress. I can't believe you did all this for me. You've made tonight unforgettable," he said, his voice filled with emotion.

Y/N squeezed his hand. "I wanted to show you how much you mean to me, Spencer. I wanted to make things right."

Spencer leaned across the table and kissed her gently. "You have, Y/N. More than you know."

As Spencer and Y/N left the restaurant, the cool night air wrapped around them like a comforting blanket. They walked side by side, their hands naturally finding each other, fingers intertwining as if they had never been apart. The gentle pressure of their clasped hands sent a wave of warmth through Spencer, a silent reassurance that they were on the path to healing.

Y/N glanced up at him, a playful smile tugging at her lips. "Do you remember the first time we walked home together?" she asked, her voice filled with nostalgia.

Spencer chuckled, his eyes twinkling with amusement. "I do. I was so nervous, I kept stumbling over my words."

Y/N laughed softly, giving his hand a gentle squeeze. "I thought it was cute how flustered you got. I was secretly hoping you'd ask me to hold your hand, just like this."

Spencer blushed, shaking his head with a grin. "I was terrified I’d say something stupid and ruin everything. You were just so pretty, I couldn’t form a single coherent thought."

"Oh, I was pretty, was I? What am I now, then?" Y/N teased, her eyes sparkling as she looked up at him.

Spencer's smile widened, and he leaned in a little closer, his eyes locking with hers. "Now? Now you're absolutely breathtaking," he replied softly, his tone filled with sincerity.

Y/N felt a warmth spread through her chest at his words. "Breathtaking, huh? You really do know how to make a girl feel special."

Spencer chuckled, his hand gently squeezing hers. "Well, it’s the truth. Every time I see you, I’m reminded of how lucky I am."

Y/N's cheeks flushed, and she playfully nudged him. "You always were the charmer, Spencer Reid."

Spencer grinned, feeling more confident with each passing moment. "Only for you, Y/N. Only for you."

Spencer leaned in completely, his eyes never leaving Y/N’s. He hesitated for just a moment, as if seeking her silent permission, and then closed the distance between them. His lips met hers in a gentle, tender kiss, filled with all the emotions they had both been holding back. It was a kiss of longing, of apology, and of hope.

Y/N’s heart soared as she kissed him back, her hands resting on his chest. The world around them seemed to disappear, leaving just the two of them in this perfect moment. She felt the warmth of his love and the sincerity of his feelings in every soft movement of his lips.

When they finally pulled away, both of them were breathless. Spencer rested his forehead against hers, a small, contented smile playing on his lips. "I’ve missed you too, Y/N. More than you can imagine."

"Hmm, no, I think I have a pretty good idea." Y/N said softly. 

They continued walking, their conversation filled with lighthearted banter and shared memories. Spencer looked down at Y/N, admiring the way her hair shimmered under the streetlights.

"You know, you look absolutely stunning tonight," he said, his voice sincere.

Y/N laughed, her cheeks tinged with a hint of pink. "You’re just saying that because I’m wearing your favorite dress."

Spencer shook his head, his smile tender. "The dress doesn’t hurt, but it's you that takes my breath away."

Y/N grinned, placing her fingers on his wrist in a mock serious manner. "Hmm, seems like you might be in love, Dr. Reid. It’s a common side effect of spending time with me."

Spencer laughed, the sound warm and genuine. "I think I might need a second opinion."

"Pretty sure I’m the best in the business," Y/N teased back, her eyes twinkling. "But if you insist on another opinion, you might have to wait until Monday."

"Then I’ll just have to trust your diagnosis, Doctor," Spencer said, pulling her a little closer as they walked. "I must admit, I like the symptoms."

"Good," Y/N replied, feeling her heart swell with happiness. "Because I plan on being your personal physician for a very long time."

Their walk continued in comfortable silence, punctuated by the occasional shared glance and squeeze of hands. The night was peaceful, and they both felt a sense of rightness, as if the universe had finally aligned in their favor.

As they neared Y/N's doorstep, she looked up at Spencer, her heart racing with anticipation and hope. "Spence… you can say no, but do you want to come in?" she asked, her voice soft and hopeful.

Spencer looked into her eyes, his own filled with a mix of love and anticipation. “More than anything,” he replied, a gentle smile spreading across his face.

Y/N's heart fluttered as she unlocked the door and led him inside. The warmth of her apartment enveloped them, and she felt a sense of rightness wash over her. They stood in the entryway for a moment, the air between them charged with unspoken emotions.

Spencer leaned in, his lips capturing Y/N’s in a deep, sensual kiss. The intensity of his touch made Y/N’s heart race. She responded eagerly, her hands sliding up to his shoulders, pulling him closer. Spencer’s hands found their way to her waist, holding her firmly yet tenderly.

The kiss deepened, becoming more passionate. Spencer’s fingers traced the curve of her spine, sending shivers down her back. Y/N’s hands moved to his hair, tangling in the soft strands as she pressed herself against him.

“Y/N,” Spencer murmured against her lips, his voice filled with desire.

“Yes, Spence?” she whispered back, her breath hitching as his lips trailed down her neck, leaving a trail of warmth in their wake.

“I want you,” he confessed, his voice raw with emotion.

“I want you too,” Y/N replied, her voice trembling with anticipation.

They moved together, their bodies speaking the unspoken words between them. Y/N’s hands roamed over Spencer’s chest, feeling the steady beat of his heart beneath her fingertips. Spencer’s hands slid over her ass, his touch gentle yet insistent.

As their lips met again in a fervent kiss, Spencer pulled her, tugging her to the couch. He pushed her down gently, their kisses never breaking. Y/N’s hands explored his back, her nails lightly grazing his skin, eliciting a soft groan from him.

Spencer’s mouth found its way to her throat, and he gently bit down, making Y/N moan. Her breath quickened, and she arched into his touch, wanting more. Spencer’s other hand slid up her thigh, his touch both teasing and electrifying.

“Please, Spence,” Y/N gasped, her body aching for his touch.

Spencer responded by brushing his fingers along the seam of her tights, his touch sending waves of pleasure through her. Y/N’s fingers dug into his shoulders, her breaths coming in short, ragged gasps.

“Wait, wait, Spencer,” Y/N panted as she pushed him back slightly, her breath ragged.

Spencer’s eyes widened, panic flashing across his features. “Are you…are you okay? Did I do something wrong?”

“No, baby,” Y/N quickly reassured him, cupping his face in her hands. “I just want to make sure you’re really ready for this.”

Relief washed over Spencer’s face, but he still looked uncertain. “I’m really ready, Y/N, but…I need you to show me what to do.”

Y/N smiled gently, her fingers tracing his jawline. “We’ll take it slow, okay? We’ll go at your pace.”

Spencer nodded, his eyes locked onto hers. “Okay,” he whispered, his voice trembling slightly.

Y/N guided his hands to the waistband of her tights, helping him pull them off. Spencer left light sucking kisses down Y/N’s exposed thighs as he pulled her tights off. Y/N squirmed where she lied on the couch, so overwhelmed by having Spencer’s beautiful mouth on her.

Spencer looked up at Y/N with begging eyes, not knowing where to go next. She took his hand, showing him how to touch her over her panties, where to rub her clit and how much pressure to apply. She whispered encouragement, her own excitement building as Spencer gained confidence. His touch grew surer, more deliberate, each movement guided by her soft instructions and their mutual desire.

“Like this?” Spencer asked, his voice low and filled with awe as he rubbed her clit with intense focus.

“Yes, exactly like that,” Y/N moaned softly, her body responding to his touch.

Spencer’s fingers moved to the waistband of her panties, pulling them off as well. His lips followed her whispered directions of sucking on the skin behind her ear. Y/N’s clit throbbed with the lack of touch, her body thrumming and arching against his. Spencer’s eyes darkened with passion, his love for her driving him to learn quickly.

“Are you okay?” he asked, his concern evident even in his desire. Spencer’s eyes glimmered in excitement. “Can I touch you again?”

“God, yes please, Spence,” Y/N responded, her voice full of anticipation and desperation.

“Oh, oh my god, you’re so wet. Is this just from me?” Spencer’s tone was a blend of amazement and disbelief, his fingers trembling slightly.

“Yes, all from you, for you,” Y/N confirmed, her own breath catching at the intensity of his touch. “Only you.”

Spencer’s hands moved with newfound confidence, fingers finding Y/N’s clit again, this time without the barrier of her panties. Y/N cries out at the feeling of his rough fingers rubbing her sensitive bud with the dexterity of someone who has done this a million times.

Y/N sits up slightly, alarming Spencer, but before he can pull away or ask if she’s okay, she whips her dress over her head. Baring her chest to Spencer, she looks at him with a mixture of vulnerability and boldness. Spencer's eyes widen, his cock hardening in desire.

Spencer's breath hitched as he took in the sight of her. She was beautiful, and the intimacy of the moment left him awestruck. His hands moved with a newfound confidence, tracing the curves of her body with reverence. The warmth of her skin against his palms sent shivers down his spine.

"Y/N," he breathes out, his voice thick with emotion. "You’re… even more beautiful than I remember."

She smiles, her confidence bolstered by his reaction. "I want you to feel comfortable with me, Spence. No more holding back."

Spencer's hands gently glide over her breast, his touch reverent and filled with awe. "I’ve never seen anything so perfect."

Y/N's heart swells with love and desire. "We’re perfect together, Spencer."

With a deep feeling of love and comfort, Spencer removes his shirt as well. He may still be a virgin, but Y/N has never made him feel pressured or like something was wrong with him. He pulls back completely, stands to remove both his pants and his briefs, feeling vulnerable yet confident in their connection. Now matching Y/N, he takes a deep breath, his eyes filled with desire.

As he stands there bare, Spencer feels a whirlwind of emotions. His heart races with anticipation, his nerves tingling with excitement and apprehension. The room feels charged with electricity, each moment stretching into infinity. He looks at Y/N, seeing her beauty and the depth of her love reflected in her eyes, and he feels a surge of gratitude and affection.

"Let's move to the bedroom," he suggests, his voice gentle yet demanding.

Spencer gently guided Y/N to her bedroom, the dim light casting soft shadows across the room. The bed, covered in a quilt Y/N had made herself, felt inviting and warm. The scent of lavender lingered in the air, mingling with the faint aroma of their favorite Thai dishes from dinner. As they stood by the bed, the sounds of their breathing filled the room, heavy with anticipation and desire.

Spencer's heart pounded in his chest, a mix of nervousness and excitement coursing through him. This was his first time, and the weight of the moment was not lost on him. His mind raced with thoughts, but the overwhelming sense of connection with Y/N anchored him, guiding his actions with love and sincerity.

Y/N's eyes locked with his, a reassuring smile playing on her lips. She reached up, brushing her fingers through his hair, her touch calming his nerves. "Spence," she whispered, her voice soft and filled with affection, "it's just us. There's no rush. Let's just be together."

Spencer nodded, his eyes reflecting the depth of his emotions. "I want this to be perfect for you," he confessed, his voice trembling slightly.

Y/N's smile widened, her heart swelling with love for him. "It already is, I love you so much."

"I love you too, Y/N," he replies, his voice thick with emotion. "I've never felt this way before. You've shown me what it means to truly be loved."

“Oh, Spence,” Y/N’s lip trembled, her eyes filled with a hint of tears. The depth of emotion between them was palpable, a beautiful blend of tenderness and desire.

Finally, Spencer brought his body back to Y/N’s, his eyes locked onto hers as he entered his fingers inside her with a mix of anticipation and tenderness. Y/N's eyes fluttered closed, a soft gasp escaping her lips as she felt Spencer's movement. 

She could sense his nervousness, his eagerness to make this moment perfect for both of them. "You're doing so well, Spence," she whispered, her voice filled with love and reassurance. “Fuck your fingers feel so good, so long,” she whines.

Spencer's heart swelled at her words, a rush of blood flooding his cock. He knew he wouldn’t last long once he was inside Y/N, but he felt himself care less and less as she proved her devotion and care for him.

“I’m ready, baby, I’m so ready, I need to feel you,” Y/N murmured, her voice thick with desire.

“Okay, okay, shit, me too,” Spencer replied, his heart pounding in his chest. He could hardly believe this was happening. Every nerve in his body was alive with sensation, and his mind was a whirlwind of emotions—anticipation, fear, love. As he moved closer to Y/N, he felt a surge of gratitude for her patience and understanding. This moment was more than physical; it was a profound expression of their bond, a step towards healing and rebuilding trust.

As Spencer slowly entered his cock inside of Y/N, he knew he was done for. No one and nothing would ever compare.

They moved together so fluidly, like lovers who would find each other in every lifetime. Her gentle encouragement and the way she responded to his touch filled him with a sense of confidence and belonging. He knew he was exactly where he was meant to be, with the person who understood and cherished him completely.

Their movements became more synchronized, their breaths mingling in the space between them. Spencer's nerves began to melt away, replaced by a growing sense of connection and intimacy. Each touch, each whispered word, was a reassurance, a reminder of the deep bond they shared.

Y/N's soft moans and the way she held him close only fueled Spencer's determination to make this moment special. He marveled at the way their bodies fit together, how her warmth and softness seemed to envelop him, grounding him in the reality of their love.

Finally, as they reached their peak together, Spencer held Y/N tightly, their bodies trembling in unison. The world outside ceased to exist, leaving only the two of them, wrapped in the afterglow of their shared experience.

Y/N looked up at Spencer, her eyes shining with tears of happiness. “I love you so much,” she whispered, her voice filled with emotion.

Spencer gently brushed a strand of hair from her face, his heart swelling with adoration. “I love you too,” he replied, his voice tender. “This was perfect.”

They lay together, their bodies entwined, basking in the warmth and love that surrounded them. In that moment, they knew that no matter what challenges lay ahead, they would face them together, stronger and more connected than ever before.

The world outside faded away, leaving just the two of them in this cocoon of intimacy. Spencer's senses were heightened, every touch and sensation amplified by the intensity of their connection. He felt a profound sense of gratitude and love, knowing that Y/N was sharing this moment with him, making him feel whole and complete.

a/n: N is for New Years by @spencereidluver is what inspired me to write more smut for this story! their work is amazing, check it out!!

Set 'Em Up, and Knock 'Em Down

Summary: Reader cheats on her partner, then meets Spencer and strikes up a fwb situationship. He wants more, she won't allow it.

Pairing: Spencer Reid x fem!reader

Category: smut (18+) with plot, angst !!, comfort

Warnings/Includes: reader's sexuality is undefined -- the only partner she has with specified pronouns is spencer, smut (18+) additonal warnings under the cut, fwb, commitment issues, insecure reader, anxiety, (un)requited feelings, reader cheats on her ex, both of them are in love but reader won't admit it, heartbreak, alcohol consumption, supportive team, angry emily prentiss

Word count: 14.8k

a/n: this is so angsty hahah i live for the angst ,, this was also entirely inspired by love you like a sailor by @reidmania pleasee check them out they are one of my favorite authors on this app !!!

main masterlist

Additional warning: oral (m&f receiving), fingering, unprotected PinV (wrap it before you tap it), nipple play, slight sub Spencer, mild choking, pet names

Y/N stirred awake, blinking against the unfamiliar light streaming through the thin curtains of her new apartment. The ceiling above her was stark white, a blank canvas that mirrored her current state of mind. Disoriented, she tried to gather her thoughts, but they scattered like leaves in the wind. It had only been a week since her partner had thrown her out, and the reality of her new life was still sinking in.

She sat up in her new bed, the wrought-iron frame creaking beneath her. The intricate designs on the bed's soft cream paint seemed almost out of place in this fresh start, a relic of a life she was trying to leave behind.

The room was sparsely furnished, just a few essentials she had managed to gather in the short time since she had left. The large windows behind her bed let in plenty of natural light, giving the room a bright and airy feel. The wooden plank floor gave the room a warm and rustic touch, grounding her in this new reality.

Y/N sighed, pushing aside the bedding and swinging her legs over the side of the bed. The cold floor was a stark reminder of her new circumstances. She needed to start her day, to find some semblance of routine in this new, chaotic chapter of her life. She padded over to the bathroom, still not used to the cold floor on her once warm feet. Turning on the shower, she stepped in, letting the warm water cascade over her.

As the water washed over her, she couldn’t help but think back to that night. It was a night like any other: her partner was away on another work trip, leaving Y/N alone once again. The loneliness was suffocating, and she had gone out with friends, desperate for some semblance of normalcy and connection. The bar was lively, filled with laughter and chatter that provided a temporary escape from her solitude.

Then she met them—a charming stranger who paid her the kind of attention she had been starved of for so long. Their eyes never left hers, and their words were filled with warmth and interest. She felt seen, heard, and wanted. In that moment of weakness, she indulged. Their conversation turned into a night together, a decision she regretted the moment the sun began to rise.

Y/N shook off the memory and leaned her head against the cool tiles. She missed her partner, missed the life they had built together. The friends they once shared that her partner got in the breakup. The shower was her sanctuary, a place where she could let her emotions flow freely. Tears mingled with the water as she stood there, trying to wash away the guilt and the regret. But no matter how much she scrubbed, the weight of her actions remained.

The argument had escalated quickly, emotions running high. Y/N’s pleas for understanding were met with cold rejection. In the end, she was left standing alone, her partner’s words echoing in her mind: “I want you out. I’ll be home by the end of the week, you need to be gone by then.”

With a deep breath, she turned off the water and stepped out, wrapping herself in a towel. Today was a new day, and she had to find a way to move forward, no matter how daunting it seemed.

—

Sitting in her cubicle one month later, Y/N was absorbed in her work when a familiar head of hair popped over the top. It was Alice.

"Hi, Y/N!" Alice greeted with her usual enthusiasm.

"Hi, Alice. How are you?" Y/N responded, slightly taken aback by the unexpected visit.

"I'm good! I was wondering if you had any plans tonight?"

Y/N was a little confused. She didn’t have any plans, but she had also never been invited to hang out by anyone from work before. They were all a bit clique-y. And while Alice had always been very sweet, she herself had her own group with Charlie and Taylor.

"Uh, no. No, I don’t. What's up?" Y/N asked, trying to mask her surprise.

"Well… Charlie, Taylor, and I are going to get drinks tonight at The Thirsty Felon. Would you want to come with us?"

"Oh, sure. Thank you for the invite," Y/N replied, feeling a mix of apprehension and excitement.

"Great! We’ll see you there at 7," Alice said with a bright smile before disappearing back over the cubicle wall.

Y/N sat back in her chair, processing the unexpected invitation. Maybe, she thought, this could be a step towards making new friends and finding a new sense of belonging. For the first time in weeks, she felt a glimmer of hope.

—

Spencer sat at the bar, visibly uncomfortable, his eyes darting around the dimly lit room. He leaned closer to JJ, who was sipping her drink and looking far more relaxed than he felt.

"JJ, you dragged me out to a bar called The Thirsty Felon. I could be at home watching the new Doctor Who episode," Spencer complained, his voice tinged with frustration. "Do you even know what we do for a living?"

JJ chuckled and shook her head. "Spence, you need to get out more. It's just a bar. Besides, you can't spend every night at home watching TV. You need to socialize a bit."

Spencer sighed, running a hand through his hair. "I socialize plenty... at work."

JJ gave him a sympathetic look. "Look, I know it's not your scene, but sometimes it's good to step out of your comfort zone. You might actually have fun."

Spencer raised an eyebrow skeptically but didn't argue further. As he took a reluctant sip of his drink, he couldn't help but feel a bit anxious about being in such an unfamiliar setting.

The Thirsty Felon was a typical dive bar, with its worn pool tables under vintage Coors lamps and a jukebox that Penelope was enthusiastically feeding quarters into. Morgan and Emily were at one of the pool tables, engaged in a friendly yet competitive game. The walls were adorned with retro beer signs, and the air was filled with a mix of laughter, clinking glasses, and classic rock tunes.

Despite the casual and lively atmosphere, Spencer felt out of place. He watched as Morgan took a shot, sinking a ball into the corner pocket, and Emily clapped in appreciation. Penelope, meanwhile, was bouncing slightly to the beat of the music she had just selected, her face lit up with a bright smile.

JJ nudged Spencer, drawing his attention back to her. "Come on, Spence. Just relax and try to have a good time. We're all here together, and that's what matters."

Spencer managed a small smile, appreciating JJ's effort to include him. "Alright, I'll try," he conceded, though he couldn't shake the feeling that he'd rather be home with his favorite TV show.

— 

Y/N sat in a booth with her coworkers, Alice, Charlie, and Taylor. They were clearly close friends, sharing inside jokes and laughing heartily. Y/N tried to listen and catch on, but it was difficult when they basically had their own language. She felt like an outsider, longing to be part of their camaraderie but unsure how to break in. After a while, she excused herself to go get another drink at the bar, hoping a moment alone might help her gather her thoughts.

As she approached the bar, she found herself standing next to a man who seemed equally out of place. Spencer Reid sat there, looking around nervously. JJ had just left to dance by the jukebox after being dragged over by Penelope, leaving Spencer all by himself. When he felt the presence of someone next to him, he turned, expecting it to be JJ.

“About time you came back, I was getting ready to—” he began, his expression softening as he saw Y/N instead.

“To what?” Y/N asked, curiosity piqued.

“Leave,” Spencer finished, somewhat sheepishly.

“Oh, well, don't let me stop you. I wouldn't mind leaving myself,” Y/N admitted with a hint of a smile.

“Not having fun?” Spencer asked, sensing a kindred spirit.

“More like witnessing others have fun and not knowing how to join,” Y/N said, her eyes reflecting a mix of longing and isolation.

“I… completely understand what you mean. I just haven’t been able to explain it before,” Spencer replied, offering her a kind smile. “I’m Spencer.”

“Y/N,” she responded, her tone unintentionally cold. She didn’t feel that she was worthy of the time of someone who looked so sweet, not after what she did.

Spencer, however, seemed undeterred by her tone. He saw something in her eyes that mirrored his own feelings of displacement. “It’s nice to meet you, Y/N,” he said sincerely.

She nodded, knowing he wouldn’t think that if he knew. Luckily, she didn’t have to say anything as the bartender came over and took her order. However, when she went to pay, Spencer cut her off.

“I got it, you can put it on my tab, R-e-i-d,” he spelled out for the bartender.

“Oh no, I can’t let you do that. That's too nice,” Y/N protested, feeling guilty.

“It’s my pleasure. I hope your night gets better,” Spencer said with a gentle smile.

“Uh, yeah, thank you. You too,” she replied, her voice softer now.

As she turned around to leave the bar with her drink, Y/N noticed her coworkers stumbling out of the bar in a pile of giggles. They obviously forgot in their drunken states that they had a fourth party with them. With a big sigh, Y/N turned back around and sat in the seat next to Spencer at the bar.

“Back so soon?” he teased, raising an eyebrow.

“My group just left,” she explained, a touch of frustration in her voice.

“Without you?” Spencer asked, clearly surprised.

“It would appear so,” Y/N confirmed, trying to hide her disappointment.

“Oh, I’m sorry. If you don't mind me saying so, they don't sound like very good friends,” Spencer said, his brow furrowing in concern.

“No, that's fine. They’re just my coworkers,” Y/N clarified, taking a sip of her drink.

“Well, that's good, I suppose. Um, I’m here with my coworkers too if you want to stay with us,” Spencer offered, his voice filled with genuine kindness.

Y/N knew she shouldn’t accept such a kind offer, but he was just so pretty with his big, hopeful brown eyes, and pushed back, silky hair, and god, those adorable glasses.

“Yeah, okay, thanks,” she managed a small smile, feeling a warmth spread through her that she hadn’t felt in a long time.

Spencer and Y/N chatted for a while, their conversation flowing effortlessly. After some time, Y/N started to get antsy and asked, “Do you want to play pool?”

Spencer hesitated. He knew he wasn’t good at pool, but he agreed anyway because he’d never had a girl talk to him for this long outside of work or school. “Sure, why not,” he said, trying to sound more confident than he felt.

As they approached the pool table, they found Derek and Emily still playing. Derek raised an eyebrow at Spencer, smirking knowingly.

“Since when do you play pool, Pretty Boy?” Derek teased.

“Shut up,” Spencer mumbled, his face flushing slightly as Derek laughed and patted him on the back.

Derek then leaned down and whispered in his ear, “Maybe you can get her to show you some moves.”

Spencer blushed profusely and shoved him away with a bashful smile. When he turned back, he saw Y/N racking the balls, her face in pure concentration. He found himself captivated by the sexy way she bit her tongue and furrowed her brow. Then she looked up and caught him staring. Shit.

Much to his relief, she didn’t say anything, just walked over to the cue sticks, turning them before finding the one she wanted. “Do you want to break, or me?” she asked, looking up at him.

“Uh, you, can you?” Spencer replied, a bit flustered.

Y/N nodded, smiling a bit as she realized Spencer must not have a lot of experience with pool. She lined up her shot, her movements fluid and confident. With a sharp crack, the balls scattered across the table, and she looked up at Spencer with a triumphant grin. He felt his pants get tighter and his IQ drop a significant amount.

“Your turn,” she said, handing him a cue stick.

Spencer took the stick and approached the table, trying to mimic her stance. He took a shot, but the cue ball barely nudged another ball.

“It’s okay,” Y/N said encouragingly. “Just take your time.”

As they continued playing, Spencer couldn’t help but notice how patient and kind Y/N was. Despite his lack of skill, she never made him feel embarrassed. Instead, she offered tips and gentle corrections, making the game more enjoyable.

At some point, after a few drinks, Y/N boldly stepped behind Spencer and put her hands on his hips, angling them before leaving one hand on his hip and placing the other on his back to bend him just so. Spencer was sure he was flushed head to toe, his mind reeling. He liked that she was manhandling him. And in public, no less. 

Derek and Emily’s mouths were open, watching the scene unfold with a mix of surprise and amusement. Y/N then leaned forward and traced her hand down Spencer's arm, showing him how to hold the cue stick properly. Her touch was firm yet gentle, and Spencer's heart raced.

“Breathe in and out with me,” she instructed softly. Spencer focused on matching her breaths, trying to calm his nerves. When he finally took the shot, the ball rolled smoothly and made it into the pocket.

Spencer was so excited that he turned around without thinking and kissed Y/N. 

The kiss was quick, a spontaneous burst of joy, but it sent a jolt of electricity through both of them. Y/N’s eyes widened in surprise, and Spencer immediately stepped back, his face turning a deep shade of red.

“I—I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to—” Spencer stammered, mortified.

Y/N blinked, then schooled her features. “Uh, it’s fine,” she said somewhat distantly, her pink cheeks the only thing giving her away.

“I don’t know what came over me, I’ve never done something like that before. You’re just so pretty and helpful—I—I’m sorry.”

“I said it’s fine. Let’s just finish the game,” she replied, trying to move past the awkward moment.

So they did, albeit a bit awkwardly. After Y/N sunk the 8-ball, she looked to Spencer to say goodnight.

“Wait, Y/N.”

“Yeah?” she asked, turning to face him.

“I’m really sorry if I ruined things or made you feel uncomfortable,” he said, taking a stabilizing breath. “But I had a lot of fun tonight, and I would love to see you again.”

“Spencer…”

“Oh, okay. You’re not interested, that’s okay,” he said quickly, his face falling.

“No, it’s not that. It’s just—I don’t really date,” she admitted, leaving out the part about her past relationship.

“Oh.”

“But if you wanted something casual, no strings attached, I could do that,” she offered.

“Oh, wow, okay, um, like sex?” he squeaked out, his eyes wide with surprise.

“Yes, Spencer, like sex,” she confirmed, her tone gentle.

“I mean, I’ve never had sex with someone I wasn’t dating before…”

“It’s okay, Spencer. It was just a suggestion. Goodnight,” she said, turning to leave.

“No!” Spencer blurted out, making Y/N turn back again.

“Can I at least get your number? So I can think about it?” he asked, his voice earnest.

Y/N smiled, feeling a bit of warmth spread through her. “Yeah, of course.” She took a napkin from the bar and scribbled her number on it, handing it to him. “Here you go.”

“Thanks,” Spencer said, holding the napkin like it was the most precious thing in the world.

“Goodnight, Spencer,” Y/N said softly, giving him one last smile before heading out.

“Goodnight, Y/N,” he replied, watching her leave.

As Y/N walked away, Spencer stood there for a moment, processing what had just happened. He was still holding the napkin with her number on it, almost in disbelief.

“Did you just get her number, Pretty Boy?” Derek asked, sidling up next to him with a wide grin.

“Yeah, I did,” Spencer breathed, still somewhat dazed, leaving out the part about how and why he got her number.

“My man!” Derek exclaimed, clapping Spencer on the back with a hearty laugh. “Look at you, getting numbers and making moves!”

Spencer chuckled nervously, tucking the napkin safely into his pocket. “Thanks, Derek. It was... unexpected.”

Derek gave him a knowing look. “Well, you never know where things might lead. Just take it one step at a time.”

Spencer nodded, his mind racing with possibilities. He had a lot to think about, but for now, he was just happy to have made a connection with someone new. As he and Derek rejoined the group, Spencer couldn't help but feel a sense of excitement about what might come next.

—

Spencer did think about Y/N’s offer, but the BAU got called away on back-to-back cases, leaving him with little time to make a decision. Meanwhile, Y/N assumed he just didn’t want to turn her down outright and accepted that she wasn’t going to hear from him.

Three weeks after the night at the bar, Y/N received a text from an unknown number. Since she didn’t recognize it, she ignored it while she was at work. It wasn’t until later that evening, with a glass of wine in hand, that Y/N was scrolling through her phone and remembered the text. She opened it up to see a message from Spencer.

Hey Y/N. I’m sorry I didn’t text you sooner. I got really busy with work. I’d like to take you up on your offer.

Y/N felt her pulse pick up, not believing what she was seeing. Good things didn’t happen to her anymore, not like this. Karma’s a bitch and all that. Still, she couldn’t refrain from teasing him.

Sorry… who is this?

There was a pause, and then her phone buzzed again.

It’s Spencer. From the bar? With the pool game?

She chuckled, enjoying the moment. 

Ohhh, right. The guy who needed help shooting pool. Got it.

Yes, that’s me. So, about your offer…

Y/N took a sip of her wine, her mind racing. She hadn't expected to hear from him, but now that she had, she couldn't help but feel a flutter of excitement. She typed back quickly.

You still interested in something casual?

Yes, I am. If the offer still stands.

She smiled, feeling a warmth spread through her. Maybe good things could still happen, even if it only lasts for a little while.

It stands. When are you free?

I’m free this weekend. How about Saturday?

Saturday works. Let’s meet at your place around 7?

Y/N was nervous he wouldn’t want her to come over to his place, but she had decided not to allow anyone into her new apartment. She wanted to keep it just for herself, not wanting anyone to witness the vulnerability that comes with seeing someone's living space.

Sounds perfect. Looking forward to it.

She set her phone down after Spencer sent his address, her heart racing with anticipation. She had no idea where this would lead, but for the first time in a long time, she felt a sense of excitement.

—

The days leading up to Saturday passed in a blur of nerves and anticipation. Y/N spent extra time planning what to wear, what to say, and how to handle the evening. She couldn’t shake the feeling that this could be the start of something significant, even if it was meant to be casual. She wasn’t going to let herself get attached, but that doesn’t mean she can’t enjoy herself. 

When Saturday evening arrived, Y/N found herself standing outside Spencer’s apartment door at precisely 7 PM. She took a deep breath and knocked, her heart pounding in her chest.

Spencer opened the door almost immediately, looking slightly nervous but with a warm smile on his face. “Hey, Y/N. Come in.”

“Thanks,” she said, stepping inside. His apartment was neat and organized, except for the  stacks of books covering pretty much every surface. It felt welcoming, and she relaxed a little.

“I’m glad you could make it,” Spencer said, leading her to the living room where a bottle of wine and two glasses were waiting on the coffee table.

“Yup,” Y/N replied, glancing around at the books and knick-knacks that lined the shelves. The apartment felt cozy and lived-in.

Spencer poured them both a glass of wine and handed one to her. “I hope you like red,” he said, extending a glass to Y/N.

“Uh, yeah, I do, thanks.” Y/N accepted the glass and, feeling a sudden rush of nerves, downed it all in one go.

“Oh, good. Would you like some more?” Spencer asked, a bit surprised.

“Yeah, that would be great,” she replied. He poured her another glass, and she immediately downed it as well.

Spencer watched her with concern. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” she said, then took a step closer to him. “Can I kiss you?”

“Already? I thought we could talk for a little bit,” Spencer said quietly, his voice gentle.

“I don’t really want to talk. I want to fuck,” Y/N said bluntly, her eyes locking onto his.

Spencer was taken aback by her bold words, but he supposed that was what their arrangement was supposed to be. He took a moment to gather himself, then nodded. “Okay.”

Y/N closed the distance between them, her hands reaching up to cup his face as she pressed her lips to his. The kiss was urgent, almost desperate, and Spencer responded in kind, his hands finding her waist.

The intensity of the moment took over, and soon they were moving together towards the bedroom. Spencer tried to keep his thoughts in order, but the feeling of Y/N’s body against his was overwhelming. He had never experienced anything like this before, and it was both exhilarating and terrifying.

As they reached the bed, Y/N pulled back for a moment, her eyes searching his. “Are you sure you’re okay with this?” she asked, her voice softer now.

Spencer nodded, his heart racing. “Yes, I’m sure. I want this too.”

“Okay,” Y/N said, her voice steady but laced with urgency. She dropped to her knees in front of him.

Spencer let out a surprised gasp, not expecting things to move so quickly. Y/N immediately began unbuckling his belt and unbuttoning his pants, pulling them down with practiced ease. Once they were around his ankles, he kicked them off, following her motions in a haze.

Y/N brought her hand up to palm over Spencer’s cock to make sure he was ready. His breath hitched at the sensation.

“Oh my god,” he murmured, his voice trembling with anticipation.

“Just Y/N,” she corrected, her tone firm yet teasing.

“Ungh,” Spencer groaned as Y/N licked above his waistband before dipping her fingers in and pulling off the last barrier.

The intensity of the moment left Spencer almost dizzy with desire. He couldn’t believe how quickly things had escalated, but he was too caught up in the sensations to overthink it. Y/N’s touch was electrifying, every movement sending waves of pleasure through him.

As Y/N continued licking her path downward, Spencer felt himself shaking in anticipation. 

Finally, Y/N licked Spencer's cock from root to tip and sucked him all the way down in one go. Spencer moaned wildly, not knowing what to do with his hands. He ended up tangling them in his own hair and pulling, the overwhelming sensations nearly too much to bear. Y/N didn't notice, and if she did, she didn't care. She bobbed her head and swirled her tongue around his length as a penance for all the wrong she’d done. This was her apology for not going on a date with him.

Her hand came up to cup his balls next, rolling them in her hand. Spencer had never had anyone touch his balls before. He tensed up and came in her mouth.

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry,” he blurted out, his voice shaky with a mix of embarrassment and relief.

Y/N pulled off and wiped her mouth with the back of her hand, having swallowed during the surprise. “It's okay, Spencer. That’s kind of what I’m here for,” she chuckled softly, trying to ease his tension.

“But you didn’t get to… you know,” he stammered, feeling a twinge of guilt.

“Cum? It's just us, you can say it,” she replied, her eyes softening.

“You didn’t get to cum,” he repeated, the words feeling foreign yet necessary.

“I don’t need to,” Y/N said, her smile reassuring. She reached out and touched his arm gently. “We can try another time.”

Spencer looked at her, still catching his breath, and nodded. “Thank you,” he said earnestly, appreciating her more than he could express.

“You’re welcome,” she said. “Can I use your bathroom? I’d like to clean up before I go home.”

“Huh? Yeah, it's down the hall to the right,” he replied, feeling a pang of dejection. “You’re going home already?”

“Spencer… this is just sex, nothing more. I thought you knew that,” Y/N said gently, trying to manage his expectations.

Spencer’s face fell, but he nodded in understanding. “I know, I just… I thought maybe we could talk after.”

Y/N sighed softly, feeling a mix of guilt and regret. “I don’t really do that. I’m sorry if I gave you the wrong impression.”

“No, it’s okay,” Spencer said quickly, trying to hide his disappointment. “I understand.”

Y/N gave him a small, sad smile before heading to the bathroom. As she closed the door behind her, Spencer pulled his briefs on and sat on the edge of the bed, his mind racing. He had known what the arrangement was, but he couldn’t help the flicker of hope that had ignited within him.

When Y/N returned, she looked more composed. “Thank you for tonight, Spencer. I hope you understand.”

“Yeah, I do,” he said, forcing a smile. “Thank you too.”

She nodded, grabbing her things. “Take care, okay?”

“You too,” he replied, watching as she left his apartment. The door closed with a soft click, leaving Spencer alone in the quiet room.

He lay back on the bed, staring at the ceiling. The night had been incredible, but now he felt a strange emptiness. He knew he had to respect her boundaries, but part of him couldn’t help but wish for more.

—

Meanwhile, Y/N was having similar feelings as she made her way home. She had wanted to stay. She wanted to talk to Spencer about anything and everything, to learn all that there was to know about him. The connection she felt was undeniable, and she found herself longing for more than just the physical intimacy they shared.

But she knew that neither of them deserved that. She didn’t deserve someone as good-hearted as Spencer, and Spencer didn’t deserve someone who had cheated on their partner. The weight of her past mistakes bore heavily on her, and she couldn't bring herself to believe she was worthy of someone like him.

As she drove through the quiet streets, Y/N’s mind was filled with thoughts of Spencer. She remembered the way his eyes lit up when he talked about his interests, the way he smiled shyly, and the gentleness in his touch. 

When she finally reached her apartment, she sank onto the couch, her thoughts still racing. She poured herself a glass of wine, hoping it would calm her nerves, but it did little to ease the turmoil inside her.

Y/N knew she needed to protect Spencer, and to keep the walls up around herself to avoid hurting someone again. But part of her couldn’t help but wonder what it would be like to let those walls down, to let someone like Spencer in.

As she sipped her wine, she made a silent vow to herself. She would keep her distance, for both their sakes. She would respect the boundaries they had set and try to move forward without letting her feelings get in the way.

But deep down, she knew it wouldn’t be easy. 

—

“Uhhhh, oh god Spencer! Oh please!” Y/N moaned, her voice filled with desperation.

Spencer hummed around her clit, the vibration adding an extra layer of sensation that sent shivers through her body. He increased the speed of his fingers, his movements precise and deliberate inside her, driving her closer to the edge.

Y/N's hands gripped the sheets tightly, her back arching off the bed as waves of pleasure coursed through her. “Spencer, I’m so close,” she gasped, her breath coming in ragged bursts.

Spencer didn’t let up, his focus entirely on her. He wanted to give her everything she needed, to make her feel as good as she had made him feel. He could feel her tensing around his fingers, her body trembling with the intensity of her impending release.

He released her clit from between his lips, licking down through her lips and laying his tongue flat before shaking his head back and forth rapidly. Y/N screamed in pleasure, feeling the friction of Spencer’s glasses brushing against her inner thighs. She had selfishly asked him to keep them on during their time together because he looked so sexy and nerdy, it turned her on to no end.

Spencer thought her scream was out of pain, and he went to pull back, worried he had hurt her. But Y/N, right on the edge, quickly put her hands in his hair and held his face to her core, guiding him back into place. Spencer moaned into her, the vibrations adding to her pleasure, and resumed his actions with renewed fervor.

Y/N's grip tightened in his hair as she felt herself teetering on the brink of ecstasy. Spencer’s relentless movements, combined with the sensation of his glasses against her skin, drove her wild. Every nerve ending in her body was on fire, and she could feel the tension building to an almost unbearable level.

With one final deep suck and push of his fingers he tipped her over the edge. Y/N cried out, her body convulsing as she rode out the waves of her orgasm. Spencer continued to move his fingers gently, prolonging her pleasure until she was completely spent.

As she came down from her high, Y/N looked at Spencer with a mix of awe and gratitude. “That was… something,” she whispered, her voice shaky.

“Something?” Spencer laughed, his eyes twinkling with amusement.

“Mhm,” she mumbled, still catching her breath.

“Forget your words there?” he teased gently.

“Brain no work, can't think,” she replied, managing a small smile.

Spencer moved up beside her, pressing a tender kiss to her forehead. “I’ll give you a second,” he said softly, his eyes filled with warmth.

“Don’t do that,” Y/N said suddenly, her voice more serious.

“Do what?” Spencer asked, pulling back, concern etched on his face.

“Don’t kiss my forehead. That’s too intimate,” she explained, trying to maintain the boundaries she had set.

“Oh, I’m sorry. I won’t do it again,” he said, his expression falling slightly.

“Thanks,” she murmured, feeling a pang of regret. Now there was an awkward tension in the air.

“I’m gonna go pee,” Y/N said, needing a moment to herself.

When Y/N came back from the bathroom, Spencer was sitting on the bed in his briefs, no longer hard. He looked up as she entered, his face a mix of confusion and uncertainty.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to ruin the moment,” Y/N said, feeling the need to address the elephant in the room.

“No, it’s my fault. I shouldn’t have kissed you,” Spencer replied, looking down at his hands.

“Actually, I was thinking—we probably shouldn’t kiss at all. Not even on the lips, just to make sure we don’t blur any lines,” Y/N suggested, trying to establish clearer boundaries.

“Oh.” Spencer stared at the floor, processing her words. “Okay. That makes sense.”

Y/N could see the disappointment in his eyes, and it hurt her more than she wanted to admit. She took a deep breath and sat down next to him, reaching out to touch his arm lightly. “Spencer, I really do appreciate you. I just need to keep things simple.”

Spencer nodded, forcing a small smile. “I understand. We’ll keep it simple.”

“Thank you,” Y/N said softly, her heart heavy with the unspoken emotions between them. They had agreed to something casual, but the reality of maintaining that distance was proving to be more challenging than either of them had anticipated.

—

Y/N and Spencer continued their arrangement for about six weeks with no hiccups. It was easier to avoid wanting to hang out when Spencer was frequently gone on cases. Though it did remind Y/N of her last partner and why it didn’t work, only reaffirming why she and Spencer could never be together. She had no trust in herself anymore, so why should anyone else?

There was a dinner party at Rossi’s coming up that weekend, and Spencer really wanted to bring Y/N. Not only because he really liked her, despite saying he was okay with keeping it casual, but because the team kind of assumed they were dating.

He never told them they were dating, but he also didn’t correct their assumptions. Most of them were there to witness the night he met Y/N and to see her give him her number. They knew he texted her, and they also knew he had a special shine to him nowadays, so they put two and two together. Spencer wasn’t comfortable telling them the truth.

So, he called Y/N when he got back from his most recent case and asked.

“Hey, Y/N. It’s Spencer,” he started, trying to keep his nerves in check.

“Hey, Spencer. How are you?” Y/N replied, her voice warm.

“I’m good, thanks. I was wondering if you’re free this weekend,” he said, getting straight to the point.

“This weekend?” Y/N repeated, a hint of hesitation in her voice. “I think so. Why?”

“Well, there’s a dinner party at my coworker Rossi’s, and I was hoping you’d come with me,” Spencer said, his heart pounding.

“A dinner party?” Y/N asked, clearly surprised. “Spencer, you know we agreed to keep things casual.”

“I know,” he said quickly. “But I have to go, and... the team kind of assumes we’re dating.”

“You didn’t tell them the truth?” Y/N asked, a bit incredulous.

Spencer sighed. “I know I should have, but it’s complicated. They saw us together, and they’ve noticed a change in me, they’re all profiles, you know. I just... didn’t correct their assumptions, I don’t really need them knowing what I get up to on my own time.”

Y/N was silent for a moment, thinking. “Spencer, I don’t know if that’s a good idea.”

“Please, Y/N,” he pleaded. “Just this once. It would mean a lot to me.”

She sighed, feeling torn. She didn’t want to complicate things further, but she also didn’t want to disappoint him. “Okay, I’ll go,” she said finally.

“Really?” Spencer’s voice lit up with relief and excitement. “Thank you, Y/N. I promise it’ll be fun.”

“I hope so,” she said with a small smile. “I’ll see you this weekend then.”

“Great. I’ll pick you up at six,” he said, a wide grin spreading across his face.

As they hung up, Y/N couldn’t help but feel a mix of anticipation and dread. She hoped she wasn’t making a mistake, but for now, she would try to focus on enjoying the evening and supporting Spencer.

—

Saturday evening arrived, and Spencer picked Y/N up in his Volkswagen. She thought it was a very fitting car for him—practical, unassuming, yet with a certain charm.

As they drove to Rossi’s, the air was filled with a mix of anticipation and a hint of nervousness. Y/N turned to Spencer, deciding to break the silence. “So, how do you want me to behave tonight?”

Spencer glanced at her, a bit confused. “What do you mean?”

“Well,” she said, playing with the hem of her dress, “how would you want your girlfriend to act? I mean, if I’m going to pretend to be your girlfriend, I should know what you expect.”

Spencer smiled, touched by her consideration. “Just be yourself, Y/N. I like you for who you are.”

She nodded, but inside, she felt a flutter of excitement. The prospect of acting like she was in a relationship, even if just for one evening, was thrilling. It had been so long since she had allowed herself to feel close to someone.

“Okay, but... should I hold your hand? Stand close to you?” she asked, trying to sound casual.

Spencer chuckled softly. “Sure, if that makes you comfortable. I don’t have any specific expectations.”

Y/N smiled, feeling a warmth spread through her. “Alright. Just let me know if I do anything that feels too... girlfriend-y.”

“I will,” he promised, his eyes twinkling with amusement.

They arrived at Rossi’s house, which was already bustling with the team and a few other guests. Spencer parked the car and turned to Y/N. “Ready?”

“As ready as I’ll ever be,” she replied, taking a deep breath.

They walked up to the door, and Spencer rang the bell. Within moments, Rossi opened it, greeting them with a warm smile. “Spencer! And you must be Y/N. Come on in, everyone’s excited to meet you.”

Y/N gave him a polite smile and followed Spencer inside. The house was warm and inviting, filled with the sound of laughter and conversation. As they stepped into the living room, the rest of the team turned to greet them.

“Hey, Spencer! Y/N!” JJ called out, waving them over.

Y/N smiled nervously and followed Spencer’s lead. He gently took her hand, giving it a reassuring squeeze as they approached the group.

“So, this is the famous Y/N we’ve heard so much about,” Derek said, giving her a friendly smile. “It’s nice to finally meet you.”

“Nice to meet you too,” Y/N replied, feeling a bit more at ease.

As the night progressed, Y/N couldn’t help but steal glances at Spencer, feeling a mix of gratitude and something deeper she wasn’t ready to name. For now, she allowed herself to enjoy the moment, savoring the warmth of the evening and the connection she felt with Spencer, even if it was just pretend.

—

The evening was in full swing, with everyone mingling and enjoying the relaxed atmosphere. Y/N was feeling more comfortable as the night went on, especially with Spencer by her side. She had been sipping on champagne, the bubbles making her feel pleasantly lightheaded.

Just as she was starting to relax completely, the girls—JJ, Penelope, and Emily—approached with mischievous smiles.

“Mind if we steal Y/N for a bit, Spencer?” Penelope asked, already linking her arm through Y/N’s.

Spencer tried to playfully protest, but there was a genuine reluctance in his voice. “Hey, don’t take her away! We were having a good time.”

“Oh, don’t worry, we’ll bring her back in one piece,” Emily teased, winking at Y/N.

Y/N laughed, letting herself be pulled away, though she cast a reassuring glance back at Spencer. He smiled, but the look in his eyes showed he wasn’t entirely pleased with being separated from her.

The girls led Y/N to a quieter corner of the room, where they settled into a small circle. Penelope handed her another glass of champagne, and Y/N accepted it gratefully.

“Alright, spill,” JJ said with a grin. “We want to know everything about you and Spencer.”

Y/N smiled nervously, taking a sip of her drink to buy herself some time. She knew she had to be careful with her answers, especially with the champagne making her feel more talkative than usual.

“Yeah, like how did you two meet?” Emily asked, leaning in eagerly.

“Well, we met at the bar,” Y/N began, sticking to the truth. “He was nice when my coworkers ditched me. We just... hit it off.”

“And what’s it like dating Spencer Reid?” Penelope asked, her eyes twinkling with curiosity.

Y/N laughed softly. “He’s sweet. So smart and kind. He really listens, you know?”

JJ nodded approvingly. “He’s definitely a good guy. How long have you been together?”

Y/N hesitated for a split second. “We’ve been seeing each other for a couple of months now,” she said, which was technically true.

Emily raised an eyebrow. “So, what’s he like outside of work? We only get to see the genius profiler side of him.”

“He’s really fun,” Y/N said, smiling at the thought of Spencer. “He loves talking about all kinds of things—books, history, science. It’s fascinating to be around him.”

Penelope leaned in closer. “And how’s the romance department? He’s a total gentleman, isn’t he?”

Y/N blushed, trying to keep her composure. “Yes, he’s very respectful and caring,” she said, avoiding any details that might hint at the true nature of their relationship.

The girls continued to pepper her with questions, and Y/N answered each one honestly but carefully, ensuring she didn’t reveal anything that would give away their arrangement. Despite the slightly nerve-wracking interrogation, she found herself enjoying their company.

Meanwhile, Spencer watched from across the room, trying to hide his anxiety. He trusted Y/N, but he couldn’t help but worry about what she might say under the influence of champagne.

After what felt like an eternity, the girls finally let Y/N go. She made her way back to Spencer, a smile on her lips and a lightness in her step.

“Did you survive the inquisition?” Spencer asked, his eyes scanning her face for any signs of distress.

“I did,” Y/N said with a laugh. “They’re just curious about us. I think I handled it okay.”

Spencer smiled, relieved. “Thanks for putting up with them.”

“It’s fine,” Y/N said, feeling a warm glow from his praise. “Actually, it was kind of nice to talk to them. It’s been a while since I had friends.”

“Oh, I’m sorry to hear that,” Spencer said, his expression softening with sympathy. “But I’m glad you enjoyed it.”

Y/N nodded, her smile growing. “Yeah, it felt good to be part of a group again. They’re really nice.”

“They are,” Spencer agreed. “They’ve been my family for a long time.”

Y/N looked at him, appreciating his openness. “Thanks for including me tonight. I know it wasn’t part of our original arrangement.”

Spencer squeezed her hand gently. “I wanted you here. You mean a lot to me, Y/N. More than just... well, you know.”

Y/N’s heart skipped a beat at his words. She knew their relationship was supposed to be casual, but moments like this made it hard to maintain that boundary. “Spencer…” she said softly.

“I know, I know… I just wanted you to know,” he replied, his eyes filled with sincerity.

“Okay, thank you,” she said, her voice barely above a whisper.

They stood there for a moment, the party continuing around them, but in their own little bubble, everything else seemed to fade away.

“Do you want to stay a bit longer, or are you ready to head out?” Spencer asked, his thumb gently stroking the back of her hand.

“I’m ready to go,” Y/N said, her voice steady but her heart racing. “But let’s not rush.”

Spencer nodded, understanding the unspoken words between them. They said their goodbyes to the team, who were all smiles and warm farewells, and made their way out to the car.

Once they were on the road, in the seclusion of the dark, empty road, Y/N reached over to put her hand on Spencer’s thigh. She was determined to show him just how grateful she was for tonight.

Spencer tensed slightly at the unexpected touch but quickly relaxed, his eyes flicking to her hand and then back to the road. “Y/N…” he started, but she shushed him gently.

“Just drive,” she whispered, her fingers tracing slow circles on his thigh.

The tension in the car shifted, becoming charged with unspoken desire. Spencer’s grip on the steering wheel tightened as he focused on the road ahead, trying to keep his breathing steady.

Y/N leaned closer, her breath warm against his ear. “I want to thank you properly for tonight,” she murmured, her hand moving a little higher.

Spencer swallowed hard, his pulse quickening. “Y/N, you don’t have to—”

“I want to,” she interrupted, her voice firm yet tender. “You’ve been so good to me, Spencer. Let me do this.”

He nodded, unable to find the words to refuse her. Y/N quickly worked open his belt and pants, pushing her hand inside his briefs. She stroked his cock, feeling him harden quickly in her hand.

“Y/N, god,” he groaned, his voice trembling.

“Feel good, Spence?” she whispered, her breath hot against his ear.

That was the first time she’d called him anything other than Spencer, and it made his stomach tighten with want. Even more so as she unbuckled her seatbelt to lean over and take his head inside her mouth.

Spencer let out a strangled moan, his hands gripping the steering wheel tightly as she moved. The sensation of her lips and tongue on him was overwhelming, and he struggled to keep his focus on the road.

“Y/N... oh god,” he managed to gasp, his body trembling with pleasure.

She continued her ministrations, her mouth working him expertly. The combination of her touch and the thrill of their public setting sent waves of pleasure through him. He could feel himself getting closer to the edge, and it was taking all his willpower not to lose control completely.

“Please, Y/N... I’m so close,” he panted, his knuckles white from gripping the wheel so hard. 

Y/N hummed around his cock, the vibration pushing him even closer to the brink. 

“Already, Spencer?” Y/N teased, her voice a playful whisper in the darkness.

“Your mouth feels so good, I can’t help it,” he panted, his breaths coming in quick, shallow gasps.

“Okay, you deserve it. You’ve been such a good boy.”

“Oh my god!!” Spencer thrust his hips up as soon as she wrapped her lips around his tip and he came. He didn’t know he would have that reaction to being called a good boy.

“Aww, did you like that? Do you want to be my good boy?” she asked, her tone teasing.

“Y/N… don’t tease me,” he pleaded, his voice strained with desire.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” she laughed softly and tucked him back in his pants before fixing them up.

Spencer reached out to cup her cheek, his thumb brushing gently against her skin. “Thank you,” he said sincerely, his voice filled with gratitude.

“You’re welcome,” she replied, her smile widening. “Now, let’s get you home.”

They resumed their drive, the air between them charged with a new level of intimacy. Spencer couldn’t help but steal glances at Y/N, his heart swelling with affection and something deeper he was hesitant to name.

As they pulled up to her apartment, Spencer parked the car and turned to Y/N. “Thank you for tonight. It meant a lot to me,” he said softly.

“I’m glad, thank you for bringing me,” Y/N replied, her eyes reflecting the same unspoken emotions.

They shared a lingering look before Y/N got out of the car. As she walked to her door, she looked back and gave Spencer a final wave. He watched her go, feeling a warmth in his chest that he knew was more than just physical satisfaction.

As he drove home, Spencer couldn’t shake the feeling that their relationship was evolving into something more. And for the first time, he allowed himself to hope that maybe, just maybe, they could find a way to make it work.

— 

One day, Y/N asked Spencer if he was free, hoping they could spend some time together outside their usual arrangement. Spencer regrettably had to say no; he had already made plans with Derek.

“I’m really sorry, Y/N. I have plans with Derek tonight,” he said, his voice tinged with regret.

Y/N brushed it off with a casual smile. “No big deal, Spencer. Maybe another time.”

But inside, she felt a pang of hurt. It was silly, she knew, but she couldn’t help feeling rejected. Spencer hated that the first time Y/N had tried to initiate something more, he had to say no. He hoped she wasn’t too upset, but he tried not to let it show when he was hanging out with Derek. But of course, Derek noticed.

“Alright, Pretty Boy, what’s up? You’ve been off all night,” Derek asked, giving Spencer a concerned look.

Spencer sighed, realizing he couldn’t hide his feelings any longer. “It’s Y/N,” he admitted. “I feel like it’s gone too far. I’ve developed serious feelings for her, and I know I have to confess or end it.”

“What do you mean? I thought you were dating her?” Derek asked, looking genuinely confused.

Spencer shook his head, feeling a mix of frustration and sorrow. “No, we’re not really dating. We agreed to keep things casual, but… I can’t do it anymore. It’s too hard.”

Derek raised an eyebrow. “Wait, so all this time you’ve just been casually seeing each other?”

“Yeah,” Spencer admitted, running a hand through his hair. “I didn’t want to complicate things, but now it’s already complicated. I don’t know what to do.”

Derek nodded thoughtfully. “Okay, first off, you need to let her know how you feel. Otherwise, you’re just going to end up hurting yourself. And this way, you’ll know how she feels too.”

Spencer looked at Derek, his expression filled with uncertainty. “What if she doesn’t feel the same way?”

Derek gave him a reassuring smile. “You won’t know until you ask. But from what I saw at the dinner party, she’s definitely into you. All the girls swooned over your relationship. A room full of profilers couldn’t tell that you two weren’t in love.”

Spencer’s eyes widened in surprise. “Really?”

“Really,” Derek confirmed. “You should have seen the way she looked at you. She’s got it bad, Reid.”

Spencer took a deep breath, feeling a glimmer of hope. “Thanks, Derek. I think I needed to hear that.”

“Anytime, man,” Derek said, clapping him on the back. “Just go for it. You’ve got nothing to lose.”

Spencer nodded, determination settling in his chest. He knew what he had to do. He had to talk to Y/N and let her know how he felt. And he hoped, with all his heart, that she felt the same way.

—

The next day, Spencer called Y/N and asked if they could meet up. There was something important he needed to talk to her about.

“Sure, Spencer. What’s up?” she asked, her curiosity piqued.

“I’ll tell you when we meet,” he said, his voice serious.

“Okay, why don’t you come over?” Y/N suggested.

“To your place?” Spencer asked, surprised.

“Yeah,” she confirmed.

“Okay, yeah,” he agreed, trying to hide the excitement in his voice.

Spencer couldn’t believe Y/N was inviting him over. He had never been to her apartment before. All of their meetups had been at his place, and she had never explained why. He assumed it was another way to keep her distance, but now she was asking him to come over. Maybe Derek was right. Maybe she did share his feelings.

As he made his way to her apartment, Spencer’s mind raced with thoughts of what he would say. He felt a mixture of nervousness and hope, his heart pounding in his chest.

When he arrived, Y/N was waiting at the door, a small, nervous smile on her face. “Hi, Spencer. Come in.”

“Hi,” he replied, stepping inside. He looked around, taking in the cozy, inviting space. It felt like a glimpse into a part of her life she had kept hidden from him.

“Nice place,” Spencer said, trying to ease the tension.

“Thanks,” Y/N replied, closing the door behind him. She couldn’t believe she had invited him over. She didn’t know what she was thinking. This was her space, her private, intimate space. Once he saw it, he’d know more about her. He’d see pictures of her family, he’d get to meet her cat, he’d probably ascertain her favorite flowers and colors based on her decorations.

Spencer took in the surroundings, his eyes scanning the living room. The sunlight streamed through large windows, casting a warm glow on the cozy, eclectic space. The room was filled with a mix of bright colors and soft textures, creating a welcoming atmosphere. A large plant stood in the corner, its broad leaves adding a touch of greenery to the room.

He noticed the bookshelf filled with a variety of books and knick-knacks, hinting at her diverse interests. The walls were adorned with framed photos and artwork, providing glimpses into her life and memories. He saw pictures of Y/N with what he assumed were her family and old friends, all smiling and happy.

As they moved further inside, a fluffy cat with a patchwork of colors trotted over, rubbing against Y/N’s leg before giving Spencer a curious look. “This is Muffin,” she said, bending down to scratch the cat behind the ears.

Spencer smiled, feeling a warmth in his chest. “Hi, Muffin,” he greeted, crouching down to pet the cat, who purred in response.

He stood up and continued to observe, his profiler mind at work. The dining room table was covered with a cheerful blue and white striped cloth, and the vases of fresh flowers added a splash of color. The space felt lived-in and loved, a reflection of Y/N’s personality.

She’s soft and sweet, Spencer thought, noting the pastel hues and the gentle ambiance. Eclectic and bright, he added, taking in the mix of vintage and modern decor. He could see she liked to remember those close to her and keep bright colors around, suggesting a cheerful and sentimental nature.

“Y/N, your apartment really is lovely,” Spencer said sincerely, turning to her with a smile.

She blushed, feeling a mix of pride and vulnerability. “Thank you, Spencer.”

Spencer took a step closer, reaching out to gently touch her arm. “I’m really glad you invited me over,” he said softly. “I feel like I’m getting to know you even better.”

Y/N looked into his eyes, seeing the genuine affection and curiosity there. Her heart raced, and she made a bold decision, avoiding the emotions coursing through her. “I want to have sex with you.”

“What?” Spencer's eyes widened in surprise.

“I want to have sex with you, Spencer. I want to feel you inside me,” she repeated, her voice steady.

“Y/N…” Spencer began, struggling to find the right words.

“I know we haven’t gone all the way yet, but I want to. Do you?” she asked, her eyes searching his face for any sign of doubt.

“Of course I do, but—” Spencer started, but she cut him off.

“But what, Spencer?” she snapped, feeling a pang of rejection. If she can’t have him romantically, she at least wants to have him fully sexually. 

“Nothing, nothing,” he said quickly, his hands moving to cup her face. “Come here.”

Y/N hesitated for a moment, then stepped closer, their bodies almost touching. Spencer leaned in and kissed her, slow and tender at first, then deepening with a passion that left them both breathless. They both ignored their rule.

He pulled back just enough to look into her eyes. “Are you sure you want this?” he asked, his voice husky with desire.

“Stop asking,” she said, her hands moving to unbutton his shirt. “I’ need you.”

Spencer’s hands trembled slightly as he helped her undress, their clothes falling to the floor in a heap. He kissed her neck, her collarbone, savoring every inch of her skin as he guided her toward the bedroom.

They tumbled onto the bed, a tangle of limbs and heated breaths. Spencer hovered over her, his eyes locked onto hers. “You’re beautiful,” he murmured, his fingers tracing the curve of her cheek.

Y/N smiled up at him, her heart swelling with emotion. “So are you, Spencer.”

He leaned down to kiss her again, his body pressing against hers. Y/N wrapped her legs around Spencer's waist, feeling his hard length slide between her wet core.

“Ohh, Spence,” she moaned.

“Yeah, that feel good, baby?” Spencer's voice was thick with desire.

No one had called Y/N baby in a long time. She let herself enjoy it for now. “Yeah, please, please, I need more.”

“Okay, okay, I got you,” he reassured her.

Spencer traced his fingers down Y/N’s body, pausing at her breasts to tug on her nipples. Y/N arched her back into Spencer's hands, moaning unabashedly. His hands continued their journey down, finding Y/N’s lips and spreading his fingers to run through the length of her.

Y/N gasped at the sensation, her hands gripping the sheets tightly. “Spence, please,” she whimpered, her voice filled with need.

Spencer positioned himself at her entrance, looking into her eyes for confirmation. “Are you ready?” he asked softly.

“Yes, Spencer. Please,” she replied, her voice trembling with anticipation.

He slowly pushed into her, their combined moans filling the room as he stretched and filled her. They moved together, finding a rhythm that brought them both immense pleasure.

Spencer leaned down to kiss her deeply, their bodies moving in perfect harmony. “You feel so– so good,” he murmured against her lips, his hands gripping her hips to pull her closer.

“So do you, Spencer,” Y/N panted, her nails digging into his back as she urged him on. “Fuck, you’re so big.”

Spencer laughed, his ego being boosted. The pace of his hips quickened, their passion reaching new heights. Y/N’s breaths came in short, desperate gasps as Spencer pushed into her with powerful thrusts. “Spence, oh god, oh god, oh godddd,” she cried out.

“I know, baby,” he groaned, his movements becoming more frantic.

Spencer took Y/N’s thighs in his hands and pushed them up, getting deeper inside her. The new angle caused Y/N to yell out in pleasure, raising her hands to dig her fingers into Spencer’s biceps. Keeping one leg up, Spencer dropped a hand to Y/N’s clit, rubbing in precise, quick circles to bring her to her release.

“Spencer, I’m so close!” she gasped. “Oh god! I’m gonna—” Her back arched as liquid squirted out of her and all over Spencer.

“Oh my god, Y/N… did you just… squirt? I didn’t—I didn’t know you could do that,” Spencer said, his eyes wide with surprise and awe.

“I didn’t either,” she panted, still coming down from the high.

“Fuck, that’s so hot,” Spencer groaned, feeling himself on the brink. “I’m gonna cum.”

With a few more powerful thrusts, Spencer let out a deep, guttural moan as he reached his climax, his body tensing and then releasing all at once. He collapsed on top of her, pulling her close as he filled her up and they both caught their breath.

They lay there, their bodies entwined, feeling a deep sense of connection and contentment. Spencer brushed a strand of hair from Y/N’s face, looking into her eyes with a tenderness that made her heart ache.

“Y/N… I love you,” he said softly.

“What?” Y/N’s eyes widened in surprise.

“I’m sorry, I was going to tell you earlier, but you pounced on me when I got here,” Spencer laughed lightheartedly, trying to ease the tension.

“You’re joking, right?” Y/N asked, her voice filled with disbelief.

“No, I’m not,” Spencer replied, his expression serious. “Why would you say that?”

“Why would you?” she demanded, pushing him off of her so she could get off the bed.

“Y/N, I’m confused. Are you upset?” Spencer tilted his head like a puppy. 

“Yes! Of course I’m upset, Spencer!” Y/N shouted as she pulled on her clothes.

“Why?” he asked in a small voice, feeling hollow.

“You need to leave,” she said, her voice trembling with anger and fear.

“No, we need to talk about this,” Spencer insisted, his heart aching.

“There’s nothing to talk about, Spencer. This was supposed to be casual. You knew that. It’s not my fault you fell in love,” she snapped, her eyes flashing with hurt.

Spencer stood up to pull his briefs on, his expression filled with pain. “Y/N, it’s not just about me. I thought… I thought maybe you felt the same way.”

“Well, you thought wrong,” she said, her voice cracking. “I can’t do this.”

“Why not?” he pleaded, standing up and reaching out for her.

“Because I can't!” she yelled, tears streaming down her face. 

“Please, don’t do this,” he begged, his voice breaking. “Don’t push me away.”

She shook her head, backing away. “No, Spencer. I can’t. I’m sorry.” Y/N looked at him, her heart breaking at the sight of his pain. “I’m sorry, Spencer. You need to leave.”

Spencer stood there for a moment, feeling as if the ground had been pulled out from under him. Finally, he nodded, his shoulders slumping in defeat. “Okay,” he said softly. “I’ll go.”

As he gathered his clothes and dressed, Y/N turned away, unable to watch. The weight of her decision pressed down on her, but she couldn’t bring herself to take it back.

Spencer paused at the door, looking back at her one last time. “I love you, Y/N,” he said, his voice filled with sorrow. “I hope one day you’ll believe that.”

With that, he left, the door closing softly behind him. Y/N stood there, feeling the silence close in around her. She sank to the floor, tears flowing freely as the reality of what she had just done hit her.

She had pushed away the one person who had made her feel truly loved and safe. And now, she was left with the emptiness of her fears and regrets. As she cried, she couldn’t help but wonder if she had made a terrible mistake.

—

Spencer was beyond devastated. Heartbroken didn’t even begin to sum it up. He couldn’t hide it from the team anymore, telling them everything that had happened. Well, not everything, but the important things. They all showed him so much love and support, trying to help him through the pain.

Emily, always fiercely protective of her friends, decided to take matters into her own hands. One evening, she stealthily left a bag of flaming dog shit on Y/N’s welcome mat. The fire flickered in the night as Emily slipped away, a satisfied smirk on her face.

Y/N, smelling something burning, opened the door to her apartment and immediately noticed the small fire on her welcome mat. Panicking, she stomped on the bag to put the flame out. The mess spread, getting into the fibers of the rug. She grimaced, realizing she’d have to throw it away. That mat was a housewarming gift from one of her old friends when she moved in with her ex. It held sentimental value, a reminder of a past life.

As she cleaned up the mess, Y/N couldn’t help but feel the weight of her actions. She knew she deserved this. She had hurt Spencer deeply, and now she was paying for it in small, petty ways. The guilt gnawed at her, making her question everything.

Meanwhile, at the BAU, Spencer found solace in his friends. They rallied around him, offering support and understanding. He could see the anger in Emily’s eyes, the quiet sympathy in JJ’s, and the resolute determination in Derek’s. They all wanted to help him heal, and their efforts weren’t in vain.

“Spencer, we’re here for you,” Derek said one day as they sat in the break room. “Whatever you need, we’ve got your back.”

“Thanks, Derek,” Spencer replied, his voice still tinged with sadness. “I don’t know what I’d do without you guys.”

Emily leaned over, her expression softening. “You’re strong, Spencer. And you’ll get through this. We’ll be there for you every step of the way.”

Spencer nodded, grateful for their unwavering support. He knew it would take time, but he also knew he wasn’t alone. The team was his family, and they would help him find his way through the darkness.

Back at her apartment, Y/N sat on her couch, staring at the new welcome mat she had bought. It didn’t have the same sentimental value, but it was a reminder of the consequences of her actions. She felt a deep sense of regret, wondering if she had made a terrible mistake pushing Spencer away.

As the days went by, the weight of her decision became harder to bear. She missed Spencer, his kindness, his intelligence, and the way he made her feel safe. She missed the potential of what they could have had together. And now, she had to live with the knowledge that she had thrown it all away out of fear.

Y/N knew she had to make things right, but she wasn’t sure if it was too late or if she deserved to. The thought of reaching out to Spencer terrified her, but the thought of never seeing him again was even worse. She had to find the courage to face her fears, to try and make amends for the hurt she had caused.

With a heavy heart and a resolve to fix what she had broken, Y/N began to formulate a plan. She didn’t know if Spencer would ever forgive her, but she had to try. She owed him that much. And maybe, just maybe, she could find a way to mend both their broken hearts. 

—

A month after Y/N kicked Spencer out, she showed up at his door. Anxiously knocking and waiting. But an answer never came. Spencer was on a case. When he got back home, one of his nosy neighbors told him, “A pretty young thing had been around knocking on your door.” His heart stopped. He didn’t want to get his hopes up and think that it was Y/N, but Spencer didn’t get many other visitors, especially of the pretty young thing variety.

Once the team returned to work, Spencer snuck into Penelope’s office and asked her for a favor.

“Garcia, do you think you can check the security cameras from my building from the last week?” he asked, his voice laced with urgency.

“Well duh, why my dear?” Penelope responded, already intrigued.

“I think Y/N showed up while we were gone,” Spencer admitted, his heart pounding in his chest.

“Ohhh juicy, I’m in. Give me one second to work my magic,” Penelope said, her fingers flying over the keyboard.

Penelope confirmed that Y/N had in fact visited his building, and Spencer lost his breath. He thanked her and turned to leave, but Penelope wasn’t done with her sleuthing. Y/N had hurt her friend, and she needed to know who she was. She felt that she now had a semblance of Spencer’s permission.

“Uh Reid,” she called out, stopping him in his tracks.

“Yeah?” he replied, turning back to her.

“I think I know why Y/N won’t date,” Penelope said cautiously.

“What? Why? Is she married?” Spencer asked, his mind racing.

“No… she almost was,” Penelope revealed, her eyes filled with sympathy.

“What??” Spencer rushed over to the screen to see pictures and mementos of Y/N’s time dating her old partner.

“When did they separate?” he asked, his voice strained.

“About a month before she met you,” Penelope answered, her fingers still tapping away at the keyboard.

“Okay… so is that why she doesn’t want to date?” Spencer pressed, trying to piece everything together.

“No, I think it’s because of this right here,” Penelope said, pointing to the screen and showing another security video of Y/N at a bar, kissing another person, not her partner. The time stamp confirmed she was still in a relationship at the time.

“She… she cheated?” Spencer’s voice cracked with disbelief.

“Yeah, baby, I’m afraid so,” Penelope said softly.

“Oh,” was all Spencer could manage, his mind reeling.

“She probably didn’t want to hurt you, my love,” Penelope offered gently.

“She did anyway,” Spencer replied, his voice hollow.

“I know. Are you okay?” Penelope asked, her concern evident.

“I don’t know,” Spencer admitted, shaking his head. “I mean, why didn’t she just tell me? The saying ‘once a cheater, always a cheater’ isn’t always true. It’s circumstantial.”

“Why don’t you just ask her about it?” Penelope suggested, her eyes full of understanding.

“I don’t know, Garcia. I need to think,” Spencer said, his voice filled with uncertainty as he turned and left her office, the weight of the new information heavy on his shoulders.

—

Y/N was sitting in her apartment in the dark, staring out the window at the night sky. She hadn't been herself lately, rather a shell of who she became while she was with Spencer. She was taking this parting harder than her breakup with her last partner. She’d been trying to work up the nerve to go back over to his apartment, but she was afraid that he was there that night and ignored her purposefully.

As she spiraled in her thoughts, there was a quiet knock on her door. She turned her head, thinking she was imagining it. Then a soft voice called out her name. Spencer.

She scrambled up, quickly walking over to the door and swinging it open.

“Hi,” she said, almost star-struck, her heart pounding in her chest.

“Hello.”

“Do you… do you want to come in?”

“Sure.”

“Can I get you anything to drink?” she asked, her voice shaky with nerves.

“No, thank you.”

“Okay, um, why are—”

“Did you cheat in your last relationship?” Spencer interrupted, his voice steady but cold, catching her off guard.

“What?” Y/N’s heart dropped, her stomach churning with anxiety.

“I know you heard what I said.” This was the coldest Spencer had ever been with her, and it stung more than she expected.

“I, um,” her eyes welled up with tears, “yeah. I did.”

“Why?” Spencer asked, his tone demanding but his eyes filled with hurt.

“Does it matter? There’s never a good reason,” she said, her voice trembling as she tried to hold back her tears.

“Yes, it does matter to me,” Spencer insisted, his eyes piercing into hers, searching for answers.

Y/N huffed out a shaky breath. “Okay, well, they had a very demanding job that required them to travel for months at a time…”

Spencer listened intently, his expression unreadable as she continued.

“And at first, it wasn’t so bad. They would call often, we’d engage in intimate phone or video calls, they’d send flowers and postcards, and bring me home a gift from every place they visited. But over time, they started pulling away. Calls were missed, texts were ignored, I stopped receiving flowers. Postcards were far and few, and they didn’t have anything written on them. No more gifts, and when they were home, we barely touched. A kiss here and there, they would only touch me in the shower. Like—like I was dirty or something.”

“Then one night, I went out with our friends while they were away. They had been gone for three months; the trips kept getting longer, more frequent, like they couldn’t stand to be around me anymore. There was a person at the bar we went to, they flirted with me, told me I was beautiful, gave me the attention I was so desperate for. And when they asked me to come home with them, I said yes.”

“I regretted it immediately. I called them as soon as I left. They broke up with me, obviously, told me to have my things packed and gone before they got back at the end of the week. That was the end of that. We haven’t talked since.”

“Did they say anything else?” Spencer asked, his voice softening slightly, though the tension remained.

“They told me that they would have never done that to me, no matter how bad things got between us. That I was… a… a whore,” she choked on a sob, “and that I didn’t deserve good things, that I didn’t deserve love. I agreed with them.”

“And now?” Spencer prompted gently, his eyes filled with empathy.

Y/N looked up at him, her eyes filled with tears. “Now? Now I don’t know, Spencer. I’m scared. I’m scared of being that person again, of hurting someone I care about. I thought pushing you away would keep you safe from me, but it’s only made everything worse. I couldn’t stop myself from hurting you.”

Spencer took a step closer, his eyes softening with understanding. “Y/N, everyone makes mistakes. What matters is that we learn from them. You’re not that person anymore. You deserve love, and you deserve good things. But you have to believe that.”

“I want to believe that,” she whispered, tears streaming down her face. “But it’s so hard. If I hadn’t been selfish that night, if I had just walked away from you… you never would have been hurt.”

“But then I never would have met you,” Spencer replied, his voice gentle.

“Was it worth it? Even though I hurt you?” Y/N asked, her voice trembling with uncertainty.

“Of course it was. It is. The only thing I regret is not fighting harder,” Spencer said, his eyes filled with sincerity.

“Really? You don’t hate me?” she asked, her voice barely above a whisper.

“No, Y/N. I could never hate you. I love you,” Spencer said firmly, his hands reaching out to cup her face.

Y/N was silent, tears streaming down her cheeks. The weight of his words settling into her heart.

“Please say it back,” Spencer pleaded, his voice breaking with emotion.

“I want to, I want to so bad,” she admitted, her voice choked with tears.

Spencer took her hands in his, squeezing them gently. “Just say it, please.”

“What if I hurt you? What if I cheat on you?” Y/N’s voice quivered with fear.

“You won’t. I mean, please don’t?” Spencer chuckled lightly, trying to ease her fears.

“But you go away for work so much. What if you stop loving me? You meet someone else while you’re gone, or you realize I’m not worth the work and effort?” Y/N’s voice was filled with anguish, her insecurities laid bare.

Spencer shook his head, his grip on her hands tightening. “Y/N, listen to me. I love you. I’m not going to stop loving you because of my job. We’ll make it work, just like we’ve made it work so far. You are worth every bit of effort and more. And if I ever made you feel otherwise, I’m sorry. You deserve to know that you’re worth it.”

“I love you,” she whispered, her voice trembling with emotion.

“What was that?” Spencer asked, a huge smile spreading across his face.

“I know you heard me,” Y/N mumbled back, using his own words from earlier.

“Say it again, please. Never stop saying it,” he pleaded, his eyes shining with joy.

“I love you, Spencer Reid,” she said, her voice stronger this time, filled with certainty and love.

Spencer grabbed her, pulling her into a passionate kiss that took her breath away. Their lips moved together with a fierce intensity, all the pent-up emotions and unspoken words pouring out in that single moment. 

They finally pulled apart, gasping for air, their foreheads resting against each other’s.

“Y/N,” Spencer whispered, his voice filled with awe and adoration. “I love you so much.”

“I love you too, Spencer,” she replied, her heart swelling with happiness.

As they stood there, wrapped in each other’s arms, they both knew that this was the beginning of something beautiful. They had faced their fears and insecurities, and now, they were ready to move forward together, stronger than ever before.

Y/N pulled away slowly, as if in a daze. “Spence… are you hard right now?”

Spencer laughed sheepishly. “Ha. Yeah, sorry about that.”

“Why are you apologizing?” Y/N laughed, her eyes twinkling with amusement.

“Because we were having a sweet moment!” Spencer joined in on her laughter.

“Is it because I said I love you? Did you get an emotional boner?” she teased, a playful smile on her lips.

“I think so,” Spencer admitted, chuckling.

“Well, that’s a first,” Y/N said, her laughter bubbling up.

“Yeah, it’s a first for me too. Just give me a second, it will go away,” Spencer said, trying to compose himself.

“Absolutely not,” Y/N said, her voice turning sultry. “Get your sexy little ass in the bedroom. Now.”

“God, I love it when you tell me what to do,” Spencer replied, his eyes darkening with desire.

“I know, baby,” Y/N said, her voice low and seductive.

“Wait, did you just call my ass little?” Spencer asked, a mock-offended look on his face.

“Well… yeah. But I love it anyway. It fits so nicely in my hands!” Y/N said, grinning as she playfully squeezed his backside.

Spencer laughed, grabbing her hand and leading her to the bedroom. “You are something else, you know that?”

“And you love it,” she replied, pulling him close for another kiss.

“Yes, yes, I do,” Spencer murmured against her lips.

They made quick work of Spencer's sweater vest and button-up, dropping the offending articles to Y/N’s bedroom floor. Next came his pants and finally his briefs before he was pushed onto the bed, his head nestled in the large amount of pillows.

“Y/N,” he squirmed, feeling so exposed while she was still fully clothed.

“What is it, baby?” she teased, her voice a playful purr.

“I need something!” Spencer’s voice was desperate, his body aching for her touch.

“What do you need?” she asked, drawing out the moment.

“You!” he replied, his voice filled with longing.

“I’m right here,” she said, a mischievous glint in her eyes.

“Y/N…” he whined, his frustration growing. “Stop teasing, please.”

“I’m sorry, baby. Do you want me to touch you?” she asked, her tone softening.

“Yes, please,” he begged, his eyes pleading.

“Good boy… so polite,” she cooed, her fingers lightly tracing patterns on his chest.

“Can you take your clothes off… please?” Spencer asked, his voice trembling with anticipation.

“Of course, my love,” she replied, a tender smile on her lips.

Y/N stripped down to her panties, leaving those on for something she had in mind. Spencer’s breath hitched at the sight of her, his desire for her growing even more intense.

She climbed onto the bed, straddling his hips and leaning down to kiss him deeply. Her hands roamed his body, caressing and teasing, drawing soft moans from his lips.

“Y/N,” he whispered, his hands gripping the sheets.

She smiled against his lips, her hands trailing down to wrap around his length, stroking him gently. “You like that, baby?”

“Yes,” he gasped, his hips arching into her touch.

“Good,” she murmured, kissing along his jawline and down his neck.

Spencer raised his hands to cup Y/N’s ass, but she took his hands away immediately. “Hands to yourself, no touching,” she commanded, her voice firm.

Spencer whined loudly, bucking his hips into Y/N. “Do I need to tie you down?” she asked, raising an eyebrow.

“No, no, I’ll be good, I promise,” he replied quickly, his eyes wide with need.

Y/N resumed her motions, now kissing Spencer’s chest, licking and sucking his nipples while stroking his cock. Spencer moaned loudly, unable to control himself with all his pent-up tension.

“Shhh, be quiet,” she whispered, her voice a teasing command.

Spencer bit his lip, trying to stifle his moans as Y/N’s mouth and hand worked magic on his body. She continued her ministrations, driving him wild with every touch and kiss. The restraint was torture, but it made every sensation more intense, heightening his pleasure.

Y/N’s other hand roamed down his body, her fingernails lightly grazing his skin, sending shivers through him. She kissed her way down his tummy, her tongue flicking out to taste him, making him squirm beneath her.

“Please, Y/N,” he begged, his voice a desperate whisper.

“Be patient, baby,” she replied, her lips curling into a smile against his skin. “Good things come to those who wait.”

She moved lower, her kisses trailing down his abdomen, making him tremble with anticipation. Spencer’s hands clenched into fists at his sides, fighting the urge to touch her, to pull her closer.

When she finally reached his cock, Spencer gasped, his body arching off the bed. She took him into her mouth, her tongue swirling around the tip before taking him deeper. He moaned again, louder this time, his resolve breaking.

“Quiet,” Y/N reminded him, her voice a hushed whisper as she looked up at him.

Spencer nodded, biting his lip harder, his body shaking with the effort to stay silent. Y/N’s mouth worked him expertly, bringing him to the brink of ecstasy and then pulling back, prolonging his pleasure.

“Y/N, please,” he begged again, his voice strained. “I need you.”

“You just can’t listen, can you? I thought you were gonna be a good boy for me?” she hissed, her voice low and commanding.

Spencer looked up at her with wide eyes, his desperation clear. “I am being a good boy.”

“No, you’re not. You’re still talking,” Y/N said, standing up and moving away from the bed.

Spencer immediately reached out, his voice a pleading whine. “No, baby, please come back.”

Y/N slipped her panties off, stalking over to Spencer with a predatory grace. She lightly grabbed his neck, forcing his eyes to meet hers. “I said: Shut. Up.”

After she finished speaking, she shoved her panties into Spencer’s mouth, making him groan deeply around the fabric. The sensation of the fabric in his mouth and the dominance in her eyes sent a thrill through him.

“Good boy,” she whispered, her voice a tantalizing mix of authority and affection.

Spencer’s eyes closed, the delicious taste of her panties in his mouth amplifying his other senses. He could feel her every touch, every movement, with heightened intensity. 

Y/N climbed back onto the bed, positioning herself over him. She took a moment to admire the sight of him, vulnerable and at her mercy, before she slowly lowered herself onto his cock. The connection between them was electric, sending shivers through their bodies.

Spencer’s hands gripped the sheets, his muffled moans vibrating through the fabric in his mouth. Y/N began to move, setting a slow, deliberate rhythm that drove him to the brink of insanity.

“You feel so good,” she murmured, her hands scratching down his chest. “My good boy.”

Spencer’s eyes fluttered open, meeting hers with a mix of adoration and need as he arched his back at the sensation. He wanted to speak, to tell her how much he loved her, how amazing she felt, but the panties in his mouth kept him silent. Instead, he poured all his emotions into his gaze, hoping she could see how deeply he felt for her.

Y/N leaned down, her lips brushing against his ear. “You’re doing so well, Spencer. Just a little longer.”

Her words sent a jolt of pleasure through him, his body responding to her every command. The tension between them built, her movements becoming more frantic as she chased her release. “Spencer, baby, please… you can touch me now. I’m so close,” she moaned.

Spencer didn’t need to be told twice. His hands flew to grab her body, one sliding to her core to rub her clit with diligence and determination. His other hand groped her chest, pinching her nipples, making Y/N throw her head back and whine loudly into the dark apartment.

As she neared her release, her walls tightened around Spencer, driving him absolutely insane. The sensation was overwhelming, pushing him closer to the edge. Watching and feeling Y/N reach her peak was almost too much for him to handle.

With a guttural moan, Spencer moved his hands to her hips and thrust up into her wildly. Y/N leaned forward with the intensity, pulling her panties out of Spencer’s mouth and hiding her face in his neck, panting heavily.

“Fuck, Y/N, fuck. You feel so good. I’m so close,” he gasped, his voice strained with pleasure.

Y/N’s breath was hot against his neck, her body trembling with the aftershocks of her orgasm. “Come on, baby. Cum inside me,” she whispered, her voice filled with raw need.

Spencer’s hands tightened on her hips, his movements becoming more urgent and desperate. With one final thrust, Spencer cried out, his release hitting him with a force that left him breathless. 

They collapsed onto the bed, their bodies slick with sweat, hearts pounding in their chests. Y/N lay on top of Spencer, her head resting on his shoulder, both of them struggling to catch their breath.

Once Y/N finally caught her breath, she came back to the reality of what had happened during the throes of passion. “Hey, baby… was that okay?”

“Are you kidding? That was amazing. I don’t think I’ve ever cum so hard in my life,” Spencer replied, his voice still tinged with wonder.

“Well, gee, thanks, Spence,” Y/N giggled, her face still buried in his neck. “I meant the underwear, and the choking, and the… you know, dominant stuff?”

“Oh, yeah. God, yeah, that was more than okay. I loved it,” Spencer said, his voice sincere.

“Oh, okay, good,” Y/N smiled, and Spencer could feel her lips curve up against him.

“You better watch out, though,” he teased.

“Why’s that, big boy?” she asked, a playful edge to her voice.

“Someday, I’m gonna put you in your place,” Spencer said with a smirk.

“Okay, baby, I’d like to see you try,” Y/N challenged, her eyes sparkling with amusement.

“I love you,” Spencer whispered, his voice filled with emotion.

“I love you too,” she replied, snuggling closer to him.

They lay there in silence, taking in the comfort of each other’s presence, having never held one another after sex before. It felt new and wonderful, a quiet intimacy they both cherished.

“Hey, Spence?” Y/N broke the silence, her voice soft.

“Yeah, babe?” he replied, his fingers gently tracing patterns on her back.

“Do you—do you want to be my boyfriend?” she asked, her voice tinged with nervousness.

“Oh, um, I thought this was just casual?” Spencer teased in a faux serious voice, unable to resist.

Y/N squawked and hit Spencer’s chest in indignation. Laughing, she said, “You asshole.”

“I’m sorry, I couldn’t resist. And… you kind of deserved it,” Spencer said, still chuckling.

“You’re right, Spence. You got me,” she laughed. “So…”

“Yes, Y/N. I would be honored to be your boyfriend,” Spencer said, kissing Y/N softly, sealing his words.

masterlist ♡

my requests are open! i'm comfortable writing for any sexuality, gender, and/or specified reader preference! my basic model is a fem!reader x male!character because that is how i myself identify and who i am attracted to -- so if you want something else just lmk!! <33

click here for my taglist :)

꩜ -- angst ♡ -- fluff ꕥ -- smut

Spencer Reid

Series

★ Bridges to Belonging ꩜ ♡ ꕥ— Part One Part Two Part Three Part Four Part Five Part Six (18+) Part Seven (18+)

★ Finding Home Again ꩜ ♡ ꕥ— Part One Part Two (18+)

-- -- -- Extras -- Jeans ♡ ꕥ Migraines ꩜ ♡ Bar ♡ Stood Up ꩜

★ i love you ꩜ ♡ ꕥ— Part One Part Two

★ Short Shorts & Long Hair ꩜ ♡— Part One Part Two

★ Too Sweet ꩜ ♡ ꕥ — Part One Part Two Part Three

★ Make You Feel My Love ꩜ — Part One Part Two Part Three

★ Something Better ꩜ — Part One Part Two

★ Breaking Point ꩜ ♡ — Part One Part Two

★ Too Damn Young ꩜ ♡ ꕥ — Part One Part Two

★ Red ꩜ ♡ ꕥ — Part One Part Two

★ Lost in Translation ꩜ ♡ ꕥ — Part One

One Shots

Whispers in the Dark ꩜ ♡ ꕥ

Set 'Em Up, and Knock 'Em Down ꩜ ꕥ

Needy ♡ ꕥ

Capturing the Queen ♡ ꕥ

Sweet & Sour Motivation ꩜ ♡ ꕥ

Moving Forward ꩜ ♡

Love in the Club ♡ ꕥ

Lost & Found ꩜ ♡

Strawberry Lemonade ♡

Not Her ꩜ ♡

Ghost of You ꩜ ♡ ꕥ

Textual Tension ♡ ꕥ

Hookups & Holdouts ꩜ ♡

Better Late Than Never ♡

Illicit Affairs ꩜ ♡

No More Misunderstandings ♡

Forever & Always ꩜ ♡ ꕥ

Blurbs

Silent Echos ꩜

Second Chances and Serendipity ♡

Ink Impressions ♡

Love in the Details ♡

The Hardest Goodbye ꩜

Ride 'Em Cowgirl ♡

Home in Jeans ♡ ꕥ

Car Wash ♡

They Were Never You ꩜ ♡

Rewritten Plans ꩜ ♡

Dare Ya ♡

Cream Cardigan ♡

Picture You ♡

Tummy ꩜ ♡

Home with Migraines ꩜ ♡

Matchmaker ♡

Always You ꩜ ♡

Home From The Bar ♡

Bedroom Eyes ♡

Federal Beach Investigation ♡

Stood Up & Home ꩜

Good Boy ꕥ

Asks

A Gentle Embrace ♡

Southern Charm ♡

Cinephile ♡

Where We Were Meant To Be ꩜ ♡

Love Doctor ♡

Not Strong Enough ꩜ ♡

Birthday Surprise ♡ ꕥ

Technicalities ꩜ ♡ ꕥ

Lucky ꩜ ♡

I Love You, I'm Sorry ꩜ ♡

Languages of Love ♡

🐭🐭🐭

🤨🫵

also!! i opened my requests if anyone has any ideas for stories :’) i’m open to writing for more than just Spencer Reid even if he is my favorite hehe

Yes I like fictional characters a very normal amount. Don’t look at my blog.