Me: Mother I Have Issue

Me: Mother I have issue

Mother: it's in your head

Me: obviously where else is it meant to be? In my ass?

Mother: >:(

(some time later)

Mental doctor: Your daughter has an issue

Mother: *gasp*

I am a dumbass (self-diagnosed)

Sorry I can't hear you over my own ego

In highschool I failed science so bad I almost didn't graduate. Now all I do with my free time is obsess over Dinosaurs, and bother my friends with all my information.

Sorry shawties, but IM actually going to be claiming Eddie Munson's energy. I am the only one who truly wants to be exactly like that man.

Today years old when I found out THROUGH A FRIEND that you can accidentally suck a thermometer into your ass...