Of Ruin: Chapter 8 || KTH

Of Ruin: Chapter 8 || KTH

(banner by @itaeewon)

Of Ruin (Masterpost)

Rating: NSFW - minors dni Genre: vampire!au magic!au royalty!au, s2l, slow burn, eventual smut, angst and fluff

Summary: Taehyung of House Rune, Prince of Infracticus has been cursed. You’re the human world’s leading curse-breaker. It should be simple. But unraveling the curse becomes the least of your problems in the face of a world on the brink of civil war… and the love you start to feel for the prince.

A/N: Thank you endlessly to @sailoryooons for betaing!!! 💕

//

Section Warnings: injury and blood, angst wc: 4.8k

When you’d studied casting - in the framework of counter-curses, never much else - you’d learned like a human. You’d learned the methodology of pulling magic from the air around you, like one might pull water from a cloud. You never knew there was magic inside you, rising up to meet the rest. You never knew that you might possess something of your own, stronger and more readily available than what the world around you could offer.

Now, as you stand in your tiny bedroom in the palace practicing the same deflective spell over and over again, you wonder how you could possibly have been so oblivious. The magic that races through your system nearly makes you high.

You know that you should stop and sleep; you know that you need to rest, to recover. But every time you consider putting the book away, turning off the lamp, and laying in the dark, your heart begins to race again.

And then, instead of doing any of those things, you run the spell again. You imagine the Infracti who’d attacked you, and you push back with all your might.

You run the spell so many times that it becomes muscle memory - your tongue repeating mindless syllables, your hands pushing and pulling magic like you’re conducting the ocean tide. You’re barely thinking about what you’re doing. Your mind goes blank, a low buzzing like static settling at the base of your skull.

Say the words, do the motion. Knock down anything that comes close. Say the words, push the magic. Say the words, push the magic. Get them away, keep them away, get them away away away -

Your wardrobe explodes noisily, wooden splinters flying through the room followed by your shirts and slacks. You scream and drop to the floor, covering your head, just as one of your shoes crosses the room and takes out your lamp, leaving you in the darkness you’d been avoiding. You shake on the floor, still covering your head even though the danger has passed.

You hear Namjoon shout your name before he throws your door open, flooding your room with light from the corridor.

“What happened?” he asks, trying and failing to turn the light on with the switch on the wall. The lamp lies on the ground, shattered. You can see it because you’re still at eye-level with the floor.

Namjoon must spot you, cowering, and makes his way towards you.

“Careful,” you warn him, finally uncovering your head and trying to sit up. Your arms both sting, and you bet you have chunks of wardrobe in them, like giant splinters. Lovely. You don’t even want to look. “There’s pieces everywhere.” You’re not sure if you mean the wooden splinters or the shattered lamp. You feel delirious.

Namjoon freezes midstep, one foot raised in the air.

Satuel appears behind him and seems to understand what happened. She waves her hand and you watch as the wooden pieces of the wardrobe and the ceramic pieces of the lamp slide along the floor to a common spot, making a nice, neat little pile of debris.

“Come,” she says. “Out here where I can see you.”

Out in the common room, she looks you over, tutting when she looks at your arms. Your heart begins to slam in your chest as she examines you; you’re very aware, suddenly, that you must be bleeding.

Namjoon and Satuel look at each other, having a silent conversation that you are very much not a part of.

“Go back to bed,” she tells Namjoon, who is hovering a few feet away, unsure how to help. “I’ll take care of her.”

He does as he’s told, a bit robotically, and you’re sure he was half-asleep for the whole encounter. He might wake up in the morning and think he dreamed it.

Satuel procures a pair of tweezers - from where, you aren’t sure - and guides you to sit at the small table where you eat. She gingerly takes one of your arms and bends it so she can see better as she starts to work.

“Care to tell me what happened?” she asks evenly, her focused gaze only on what her hands are doing.

“Was practicing a defense spell,” you mutter. Your eyes suddenly feel heavy. “Must have messed up. My wardrobe exploded. It broke the lamp.”

“You should have been sleeping,” she remarks, putting down the arm she was working on and motioning for you to hand her the other.

You don’t answer this. You don’t want to admit that you were too scared. You don’t want to look weak and frightened. You don’t want to offend her by admitting you’re afraid of her kind. You don’t want to give her the satisfaction of knowing her kind can frighten you. These feelings contradict each other, yet somehow both manage to be true.

She seems to know anyway. She finishes working on your second arm and places it on the table, sitting back and looking at you with wet, black eyes. Your stomach turns, and the hairs on your arms raise.

You hide them under the table.

“Prince Taehyung can heal those when he… wakes,” she says. It occurs to you, as she stumbles over this wording, that at this moment Prince Taehyung is simply a monster. If you needed him, now, he would be no help at all. In fact, in his current state - wherever they have him tucked away - he’s the most dangerous one here.

Everyone else would need to use discretion if they fucked with you. Under the curse, Prince Taehyung would have no such qualms.

“Okay,” you say quietly. “Thank you.”

She continues to watch you, then cocks her head slightly. “There is a tea I could bring,” she says. “It would calm your nerves. It would likely help you sleep. I’ll bring some.”

You want to object; you don’t know what it’s made of, what the effect will be. You want to stay clear-headed. You want to stay awake. You never want to close your eyes again.

But this is the first kindness Satuel has shown you. This is the most she has spoken to you at length. You don’t want to reject her, lest she never try again.

“Thank you,” you nod. “I’ll try it.”

Still, when she brings you a steaming mug, you sit on the couch in the main room and hold it between your hands. You inhale the steam deeply, noting what you can recognize: chamomile, definitely. Perhaps lavender. Something else that you can’t name.

You look up at her, nervous. “Will I be able to wake when Prince Taehyung is ready for the ritual?” you ask. “Or will I be -?”

Drugged, is what you want to say. You don’t.

She smiles, and it almost looks warm. “You’ll feel normal,” she assures you. “It won’t make you groggy.”

You nod in thanks and sip at it. When you’ve finished, you set the mug on the low table, and you bring the heaviest blanket from your bed back to the couch. You curl up in a ball, the blanket over your head, and breathe slowly, waiting for sleep.

You leave every light in the room on.

—

It is not Satuel who wakes you, but Namjoon, gently shaking your shoulder and pulling the blanket just enough that your eyes peek out. You squint up at him, the light almost painful in the wake of your dark little blanket cave.

“Sorry,” he says, grimacing. “I wanted to let you sleep more, but the prince has asked for us.”

You groan, closing your eyes again. You feel awful - your body aches, your head is pounding, and your arms throb in the places where Satuel had removed wooden splinters sometime early this morning.

Still, after a moment of wallowing, you push yourself to rise. “Do I have time to shower?” you ask, the blanket over your shoulders like a thick, winter cape.

Namjoon glances at the clock. “Maybe, like… a fast one?”

You do your best to hurry, though the water stings the open cuts you sport, which makes it tricky as you hop in and out of the water, hissing and wincing. When you’re ready, both Dansoo and Satuel lead you and Namjoon through the palace, up the steps to Prince Taehyung’s wing.

You’re greeted in the front room not by the beautiful, dark haired Infracti, but by a breakfast spread.

“Prince Taehyung will be with you in a moment,” one of his staff tells you. “Please help yourselves to breakfast.”

“God, coffee,” you manage, making a beeline for the table. Namjoon follows, and when Prince Taehyung comes through the door he finds the two of you sitting on opposite ends of the couch, each clutching a mug of dark liquid like they tether you to life.

He nods in greeting as he passes Namjoon, but slows his stride to pause by you. You look at him guiltily, already knowing where this is going.

“I heard there was an incident,” he says, voice low.

You shake your head as Namjoon nods. Traitor.

“Hardly,” you say. “I was practicing magic. I made a mistake. There was… uh, a problem.”

“An incident,” he repeats. Then, he sighs like he just doesn’t know what to do with you. “Can I heal you?”

You lower your gaze and hold up your arms.

He sighs again as he surveys the damage. Then, gently, he takes one arm and begins to run his spare hand over the cuts, and you feel the tingling sensation that lets you know the healing is working.

You swallow down how nice it feels to have his hands on you. It’s not productive, you remind yourself. Not only unprofessional, but unrealistic, too. Doubly foolish.

He’s dangerous, too. He’s one of them, too.

Triply foolish.

“I’d like you to stay out of trouble for maybe a day,” he scolds under his breath, barely audible.

“I’m finding that harder here than I ever did in the real - I mean, back home,” you joke.

The real world, you’d almost said. Like this one isn’t real, but truly just a dream you can’t seem to wake from.

It does feel that way.

If Prince Taehyung notices, he has the grace to ignore it.

He hovers as you work uneasily on your coffee, and then asks, “So, are we trying the ritual today?”

“That’s the plan,” you answer, and Namjoon shoots you a look like you aren’t being polite enough. But you feel like you and the prince have gotten, maybe, a little friendly on your visits to the stable, enough to give you the leeway to speak casually.

At any rate, he doesn’t object to your tone, instead leaning his arms on the back of the couch and asking, “Do you need anything for it?”

“Actually, yes,” you say, sitting up straighter. Now that the caffeine’s hit your system, you’re feeling more human - but definitely still sore from top to bottom. “Could you get us a metronome?”

“A metronome?” he parrots, brows furrowing.

“You know,” you say, flapping a hand. “The thing for music that keeps the beat for you? I saw your piano room, I’m sure you have one here somewhere.”

A smile grows on his face. “You saw my piano room?”

You don’t answer this, feeling your face flush; you’d found the piano room on the night you’d gone wandering, when Prince Taehyung had literally saved your life the first time.

Namjoon watches this exchange with raised brows, but says nothing. You try to ignore the look on his face.

Prince Taehyung’s smile grows, and he shakes his head a little. He looks like he wants to say something but thinks better of it. He controls himself, mouth twitching back into something more neutral, and then he says, “Yes, I’ll send for it. Anything else?”

You consider this. “Somewhere quiet to work? We need a bit of space, and your staff can’t come too close or their energy will mix into the reading.”

He nods absently, already moving to ask one of his staff to fetch the metronome. “Don’t worry about that,” he says over his shoulder. “I’ve already thought of the perfect place. Come on, I’ll show you.”

—

Taehyung picked his greenhouse for the ritual. It’s spacious, far from his main quarters, quiet… and soothing, with several water features that bubble quietly. He thinks, though it’s just projecture, that this will be good for rituals or magic.

It’s calm and safe, and Taehyung thinks that’s important.

The other curse-breaker, the man, stays by the door, making sure none of Taehyung’s staff accidentally enter, and keeping a safe distance himself.

You sit cross-legged on the ground, facing each other. Taehyung watches you carefully, listens - from his place opposite you - to your pulse beat through your body, quickened with nerves and excitement. He feels your magical signature like a caress, and it astounds him that you can’t feel it, can’t feel the magic brimming at your fingertips, ready to be directed. 

“This is supposed to be different than before,” you remind him. “I’m only going in with the intention to look.”

He nods. He hears what you’re telling him - it shouldn’t hurt this time, shouldn’t drain him, shouldn’t feel like his insides are being funneled backwards through his body.

Before the curse had tried to kick you out - before the pain had started - having your magic toy around with his… well, it hadn’t been unpleasant at all. It had felt good, if he was being honest. Like something was clicking into place, as it was meant to.

“You’re going to feel me poking around, just like before,” you repeat his earlier words. “You’ll also likely feel things that… belong to me.”

He feels his brow furrow. “What does that mean?”

You twist your mouth and eye the ceiling. Taehyung waits, lets you decide how to explain it. 

“It’s like…” you say slowly, still thinking as you talk, “we both open up and let our magic through. So the same as I can steer my magic to take a look at the curse, you could steer yours to investigate mine. It’s… available.

“If that happens,” you continue explaining, clearly intending to do a better job looping him into the whole process this time, “you might, without meaning to, interact with it. You might feel emotions that belong to me - that’s most likely.”

“You’ve done this before?” Taehyung asks, though he knows the answer. 

“Once,” you nod. “A long time ago, though.”

“What happened that time?” He leans back on flattened palms, putting a little more space between you.

“It went well,” you say, something energized coming over you. Like you perk up when you talk about your work, your successes. “I was breaking the curse for this woman - she was like, so old -”

“Older than me?” Taehyung asks, failing to hold back a teasing smile.

You laugh. Taehyung likes the sound of it. “Old for a human, okay? Anyway, we did the ritual and I was looking around at her curse and I could feel her magic kind of… pressing back? Not in a bad way, though, just… presence. And when we finished and ended it, she told me something…” You break off the story, letting out a laugh that’s maybe a bit bitter - Taehyung can’t tell. “She told me some things about myself, about what I was feeling, things I had gone through recently at that time - like while she was in there she just got a little film of my life, or something.”

“That sounds invasive,” Taehyung murmurs. 

You shrug. “I knew what I was agreeing to. It was sweet, and kind of funny. And I cracked her curse.” The pride in your voice is evident. 

“So,” Taehyung asks, back to playful, “what film am I scheduled to see today?”

You laugh again, and his smile widens. “Books, probably,” you tell him. “Hours and hours and hours of books.”

Taehyung waits patiently as you get ready. He places his hands palm-up on his knees, and you place yours palm-up on top of his, resting lightly. They’re small, he notices for the first time, fitting neatly inside his own. 

You lift one hand and reach to set the metronome at a slow pace. It’s so slow, in fact, that Taehyung thinks for a moment that it must be broken.

“This is to pace our breathing,” you tell him. “Inhale and exhale between the beats. We’re going to do that first - just breathe in time, together.”

“I don’t need to do anything else?” he clarifies. He wants this to go well, he wants this to work. 

He wants it to be done and over so you can look at him and tell him, I know exactly what’s missing, we’ll have the curse ended before midnight tonight. He wants you to tell him, it’s over - the curse is gone.

“I’ll tell you,” you assure him, your voice becoming almost melodic as you step into your role as a magic-wielder. “For now, breathe. We’re inhaling - ready?”

He does as he’s told - inhales until he hears the device’s click, then begins a slow exhale. Click. Inhale - click. Exhale - your own breath mingling with the gurgling body of water behind you is the only other sound in the room. Click. Inhale.

“Good,” you say on the exhale. “You keep that rhythm - that’s your most important job.”

He nods, concentrating on the rhythm, the clicks, his breath in and out. 

“Next job,” you murmur. “Keep your eyes on my eyes. Don’t look away.”

He lifts his gaze to meet yours, and you hold him there, steady, as you breathe together in time. Your eyes dance as they take his in, and he thinks he can feel you already - your magic starting to touch its fingers to his, tentative. He’s not sure he’s ready for when your magic opens for him, when he’ll be able to press against it and feel what you’re feeling, not just see it reflected in your eyes.

“Good,” you say finally, lips barely moving. “Don’t do anything but what you’re doing right now. I’m going to start the incantations.”

You do, quietly, your voice calm and even. The chanting is musical, almost like you’re singing to him. Taehyung can feel everything as it happens - so strongly that it almost startles him out of his breathing, almost makes him lose focus and tear his gaze away from your eyes. 

As if you can sense him faltering, you press the backs of your hands more firmly into his palms, silently reminding him of his only tasks. 

He focuses, but he can still feel it - your magic rising up, strengthening, beginning to expand. He can feel it when it touches his, cautiously, like letting a dog sniff your hand before you stroke its head. It’s somewhere between a tingle and a warmth, your magic, and it slips seamlessly into his, filling up every empty space. Like water, like air, like every element he needs to keep existing. 

It feels good - just as it had last time your magics had mingled, and this on its own is distracting. 

Focus. Inhale. Click. Exhale. Click. 

Your magic begins to explore - he can feel that, too. He can feel it as it lifts and examines, feel it as it prods and dives within him. He could lose himself in this - in the way the controlled breathing lulls him into calm, into the warm and pleasant sensation of having his magic matched and complemented, into the cool press of your hands into his. 

He could - but he doesn’t want to. You’d said that he could - “without meaning to” - explore your side. You were forgetting: he may not have done this ritual before, but he is Taehyung of Rune. No one has better magical control than his family. It’s in his blood, just like yours, and he can steer his magic just as well.

He presses in, watching your face for any indication that you recognize the feeling. There’s none; your eyes are unfocused, muscles slack except for your mouth, which repeats the incantation hollowly, over and over. Emboldened, he presses further. 

The memories come without context in quick-moving bursts; they’re hard to follow. Some are still images, some play like a video clip on fast-forward, others are just dark but sound rings through Taehyung’s head, foreign and jolting. Each comes with a feeling - or more than one - that Taehyung feels so deeply they must be his own.

The faces of humans who might be your family, and the feelings of both love and disappointment. 

Books, as promised, and feelings of comfort, of pride.

Cities, waterways, more faces, more books, an old man, books again, another city, another pile of books -

Loneliness. Loneliness stitched into all of them. 

Images begin to ping in Taehyung’s mind as familiar -

Namjoon’s sharp eyes, and the feeling of gratitude. 

The throne room of the palace, his parents, the image of Infracti eyes - fear, fear so engulfing that Taehyung’s fingers flex against yours instinctively, and he fights to keep exhaling until he hears the click somewhere in the back of his mind. 

His own face, his own form approaching from the end of a hallway. Taehyung is swept with surprise to feel excitement attached to his image, something tinged with affection, and danger, and thrill, and something that Taehyung can’t - or won’t - put a name to.

Guilty, he pulls back, letting his magic simply simmer along with yours instead of steering it into your consciousness.  

He listens to the clicks, focuses on his breathing. Feels a stupid little smile sneak across his face, feels relief that your eyes are too unfocused to clock it. Feels a swell of affection for you, the human - no, witch - sent here to fix him. Feels a twin swell of protectiveness as his mind replays your fear. 

He’ll do better, he promises himself. He’ll do better at staying with you, at keeping everyone else away. 

He becomes aware that he no longer hears you chanting and watches your eyes carefully for the moment you come out of the trance.

You come back to yourself with a gasp, and Taehyung is startled to find you gaping at him, wide-eyed, struggling to get a word out.

“What?” he asks, stomach sinking. “What?”

You look around frantically like you’re trying to place yourself. “Maiesti,” you finally whisper, horrified, wild eyes coming back to find his. “I think someone tried to kill you.”

—

Prince Taehyung leads you - at a fast clip - to a small room that reminds you of a meeting room that an office building might have.

As you walk, you fill in Namjoon, talking almost faster than you can think.

“One of the threads,” you say breathlessly, “was definitely, absolutely intended for ending life.”

Namjoon stops walking; Prince Taehyung does not, carrying forward, causing you and Namjoon to scurry to catch him.

“You’re sure?” Namjoon asks.

You look at him evenly. “Entirely.”

“So, I was right,” he says quietly. “Remember? When I said I thought death magic might be involved?”

“I remember.”

He shakes his head. “I think my grandfather knew, or at least suspected.”

You look at him quizzically. “What do you mean?”

“That’s why he called me. I’ve been wondering. He had to suspect there would be an element of death magic - that’s my area of study. He knew you’d need me for that.”

You huff. “If he thought this was a murder attempt, that would have been nice to know ahead of time.”

Prince Taehyung acts like he hears none of this, simply leads you into the meeting room and asks a guard to fetch his parents.

The three of you wait in tense silence. You don’t know about the men, but your mind is racing with possibilities - the who, the why.

The Queen looks alarmed when she enters, and while the King doesn’t look as frantic, there’s definitely an air of concern.

“Thank you for coming,” you say, greeting them respectfully. “We wanted to speak to you right away. The Prince and I completed a ritual this morning -”

“You what?” The Queen asks sharply, but she seems to be directing this at her son, who ignores her with the polish of someone who has ignored their mother for over five hundred years. He motions for you to continue. 

You continue again, a little shakily. “We completed a ritual whose purpose was to feel out more of the curse, identify some threads of intention that we missed before.”

“Was it successful?” the King asks.

“It was,” you say carefully, “but I felt you should know about a major thread that I uncovered.”

Everyone looks at you, waiting - those who already know what you found, and those who are about to hear for the first time.

You take a breath and lay your palms flat on the table. “I found a thread whose intention was death.”

“How sure are you?” the Queen demands, standing up straighter, her brows furrowed.

“There’s no doubt,” you say calmly. “That’s what it was. Whoever cast this curse… they included the intention to kill Prince Taehyung.”

The King shouts someone’s name and an Infracti hurries into the room, leaning down to listen to the King’s request. He leaves again, and the King addresses the table.

“My cabinet members are being summoned,” he says. “We’ll address this at once.”

“Why would they bother with all the other threads,” the Queen asks, her eyes on you, “if they just wanted to kill him?”

“I’m not sure,” you admit. “It doesn’t make sense to me, either - but the intention was there.”

“I can speak to that,” Namjoon says calmly. The Queen snaps her attention to him. “Death magic is my specialty. A curse like that - just to end a life - it can’t be done. Magic… as I’m sure you know, magic is life. Magic wants life. It will not end a life unless it is twisted just right. It’s likely that whoever cast this curse had to… add padding to sneak this piece in. Perhaps they hoped that if they failed - which clearly, they did - then at least the prince would suffer.”

“Which he is,” you add, unhelpfully. 

“The Scores must be behind this,” the Queen says.

“There’s nothing that particularly indicates them,” the King points out.

“Except seven thousand years of war,” she shoots back. “Who else? Who else would benefit from killing our son?”

The King rubs at his temples. “I want to know where their little venefici was the night the curse began,” he muses. At that word, you feel blood rush to your face. You expect Namjoon to pat your arm, but it’s the prince who meets your gaze across the table, his face open and apologetic.

“Father,” he murmurs reproachfully, the first time he’s spoken since you all gathered.

You wonder what he thinks about all this.

You wonder if he’s frightened.

The King follows his gaze and frowns. “No disrespect intended,” he says, though his tone indicates that he’s displeased at being corrected. “We appreciate your skill here. But I need to find who cast on my son, and bring them to justice.”

“And cure him,” you say. This time, Namjoon does knock into your arm, trying to shut you up.

The King narrows his eyes at you but doesn’t address your insolence.

“And what about you?” The Queen asks, directing her attention at you and Namjoon. You try not to squirm. “What does this discovery mean for the counter-curse?”

You exchange a look with Namjoon, and you give him a nod. Death magic is his forte, not yours. 

“I’m afraid it’s a bit of a good-news-bad-news situation,” he says, inclining his head respectfully. “The good news is we identified that element of the curse so we are able to begin finding how to counter it. The bad news… well… the thread of intention called for loss of life. In countering that… only life can pay for life.”

Prince Taehyung’s head snaps up. “Will someone have to die?” he asks, horrified, eye wide. 

“Not necessarily,” you hurry to soothe him. “It may take Namjoon and I some time, but I’m confident we can find a way that isn’t so… drastic.”

“You’re dismissed, then,” the Queen says, her voice still even and cold. “I don’t want you wasting a single minute until you have something worth trying.”

You nod in understanding and move to leave. Satuel and Dansoo are waiting in the corridor, ready to walk you and Namjoon back to your quarters. You glance over your shoulder as you go, trying to get one last look at Prince Taehyung.

To your surprise, you find him standing still, watching you walk away. From this distance, he looks more like you expected him to look the first time you’d met him - somehow both haunting and haunted.

<- Prev

thank you for reading! chapter 9 coming next friday!

suddenly it's all going dark again. your whole life you're holding onto yourself. your positivity. a strength you are trying to master. and countless times it crumbles. because it's hard to deal with. you want to breath without feeling guilty. but you think it's not time for you to breath. you don't deserve to breath. not now. and maybe not ever. you stick to affirming, manifestations,subliminals. you stick to faking, smiling, pretending and ignoring. you stick to fighting, crumpling, snatching and manipulating. But suddenly all goes in vain. you lose your motivation and drive. you're walking in circles. running. crawling. and you realize you've not been happy. you forced happiness on you for a while but the void catches up to you. the void that chased you ever since your birth. and suddenly you realize again,you didn't deserve to be born. you're the reason of everyone's unhappiness. you're nothing. but a mistake. a mistake who was better aborted rather than coming alive. a mistake who was looked down when it was in her mother's womb. a mistake that caused more destruction in it's mother's life. a mistake that everyone didn't want. a mistake that everyone wanted to get rid of. and ever since than you were nothing but a mistake in everyone's life. a mistake trying to prove herself that she isn't a mistake. and so you tried to be better for those who wanted to abandon you even before coming out in the world. from the mistake of coming in this lady's womb to the mistake of ending up being a 'she'. and the mistake continued to have more mistakes. mistakes that are considered normal in most eyes but not in this family. But even you were a mistake,you were rather a enchanting and ethereal one. and it caught everyone's attention,even if they didn't want to. though a mistake,you were now considered a showcase. a ball of white and orange skin,with a celestial little smile resembling heaven. and when you cried everyone was left in awe because you looked too pretty crying. you grew up mature. too aware of the abuse your mother went through. and all you could do is feel as if you're a burden. and you're carrying that weight of the feeling forever. and each year it gets more suffocating than before. and want someone to help you out. get you out of this place. make you forget all these. make you believe that even if you're unable to do anything,even if you're helpless,that doesn't make you a burden. and it's hard for you to find a person like that. because to everyone and to the one you meet,you remain a burden to all of them. you're sick of being a mistake to everyone. you're sick of this word but the word finds you always. the void drags you down no matter where you are. you kept growing in a household full of animals. where satans lived. where an animal abused you and your poor mother. and you felt helpless when his hand wrapped your throat, trying to block what little breath you took to survive

felt giddy so thought of updating twice a week lmao

I never understood desire untill I felt your hands around my throat. My greatest moment of intimacy,was not the evening we took all our clothes off. But it was when you saw me at the most difficult state. As I slowly unraveled all my in perfections in front of you like a scar. And despite all of this you loved me harder anyway- anonymous.

Self-starving is how I punish myself just because this world is too much to handle and I hate everyone.

Those Eyes:Ch.1 ||KTH

»chapter 1: Missed Meeting (Masterpost)

»ratings: Pg-13

➝genre: romance,fluff,angst,smut (might add smut if I ever get requested,else,it has none rn)

➝summary: it's a mystery how two pair of eyes finds solace in each other,when they are strangers and when they are not. can they solve the mystery their eyes behold and explore beyond the horizon of their workaholic life?

➝section warning: making out

➝wc: 4.6k

"I'm sorry but you're being absolutely ridiculous right now sir," after getting out of the elevator you finally glared at the man before you who shifted uncomfortably underneath your piercing glares as all his smugness left his stupid self upon hearing you,"ms. kim I-I didn't intend to-"

tsk. what happened to that distasteful confidence of his.

“I hope you know sir how unprofessional you were being in the elevator as well as in the office this few past days with me.This time sir,” you exhaled, locking your eyes with his,“you have crossed the line. I do not intend to be unprofessional here, hence, I will not expose what unscrupulous remarks you were implying on me in this very elevator."

You stated loud and clear as everyone in the cafeteria was awestruck at your undaunted bravery, "i-its not like what y-your'e imagining-"

tsk. this guy doesn't even have some confidence.

"Even though I am quite a newbie here, I would like to express some of my prerogatives here sir. Along the lines of, you're not only aggravating the womenfolk working here but also you're constantly hampering your dignity, self respect , pride, poise, nobility & self worth here in this very company. Hence I strongly yet respectfully suggest you to fix your perverted bugs floating in your brain so you perhaps can achieve your career aspirations. This is certainly an easy forward task. Thus as you're the brain of this company if you work on it you absolutely will cut a good figure. Therefore, waste no time on scandalous activities; you're young. I suggest you make best use of your time."

You finish with your lips forming into a tight thin smile that only show cased how pissed you were.

The guy nodded clearing his throat to get some words out, "I apologize miss. I definitely will work on myself from now on" and with a polite bow he practically ran for his poor life.

You stand there proudly watching him leave as faint clapping soon grew into rounds of applause. Your eyes instantly roamed around the cafeteria to find each of them smiling proudly at you. You felt a little shy as you smiled at them bowing.

.

As everyone went back to what they were doing your eyes landed on the far corner of the cafeteria with pleasant view showcasing outside where a smirking Mirae and a gleeful eyed Auri sat there with a broad smile.

You had to roll your eyes seeing the way Mirae's smirk turned into a cocky grin as you neared to their table, “𝘛𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘢 𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘧𝘦𝘴𝘴𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘢𝘭 𝘳𝘦𝘫𝘦𝘤𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 out there Kim Y/N” her smirk grew only wider as you sat on the chair between their's.

"Oh please. Dating doesn't even make sense in the first place. He is a low class playboy" you spat as they both chuckle at your raging anger. "You were for a reason the school's heart breaker after all" Auri teased further but you ignored it stealing a strawberry from Mirae.

"Not funny" you roll your eyes throwing the natural sweet fruit into your mouth. "You know it's just 'that' human things. Don't give a damn bruh." Mirae scrunched her nose distastefully remembering that pervert guy's perverted moves towards her when she was a newbie. She never bought it and she threw his scrupulous remarks effortlessly but seems like you did the final touch sending him in the place where he belongs with your professional words that you're quite always famous for.

"Yes.That's the point.That bastard is a human. 'Human' yes this is the problem!" You spat taking a long sip of your coffee brows arching together in annoyance.

"Since high school you two talk like you're not human yourself tsk tsk." Auri dramatically face palmed.

"Well we stated the obvious bitch!" you both yell out in unison bursting into laughter followed by Auri's cute chuckle.

"Well well well look who is having fun without me" you scrunched your nose noticing two long hands with slender fingers snaking around Mirae's neck going further for a back hug. Your eyes roamed over her figure to her face; her pink painted lips pouted as she pressed her head with Mirae's,tightening the hug. Mirae went still when realization strucked her brain terrifically as her face went pale with half of the piece of strawberry out and half in her mouth. Her pleading eyes looked at both you & Auri in a manner that said,

save me y'all

tsk let our poor Mi breath at least Jae-ah, "you see there's a seat next to Mi on her left, why not take that seat instead of clinging on to her and join our 'Fun' chat" you sass with a thin smile plastered which you absolutely know Jae-ah will not get.

“So silly of me” her high pitched laughter echoed through the area as she took the seat letting go of Mirae. Mirae let a sigh of relief chewing the strawberry finally as the senior interpreter & translator of this company stared at her in awe.

Yes, Jae-ah thinks Mi is her 'that' friend since high school.

She finally averted her gaze to meet yours, "That was incredible right there yn-ah! I'm glad that I can see more of your savage remarks now that we work in the same company! I missed them since we graduated"she pouted as your lips curled up.

"Well I missed her a lot though we were in contact but virtual communication doesn't feel same like real life communication does," Auri dramatically hugged her, "We are so happy to be completed again after five years."

"Let's again work hard & have fun together babe" Mirae cooed feeding you a piece of carrot that you don't know how the hell appeared on the table all of a sudden. Mi and her carrots bruh.

You smile chewing,"Look at all of us being so successful, imma tear up" you fake cry as everyone chuckled.

"My my look who I meet just after my arrival?! Is that you Y/n?" You heard a somewhat familiar annoying voice from your back coming closer. Emphasizing each words of her last sentence.

"Oh Good afternoon Ms.Shina" the name leaving Auri's mouth in a polite way as she stood up and bowed made you almost choke. Bro? It's our popular queen Shina of the same high school you all went as well as our well..friend? Why is she being formal with her?

You dramatically stood up from your chair turning to meet a caked up woman, lips painted a thick shade of red, "It's been a while Shina?" you greet, lips pressed into a thin smile. Yes that was sarcasm. She seems to understand and widened her eyes in amusement,"Still the same Y/n I see"

"Of course, look at you? You haven't changed at all as well" you sass.

"By the way Shina is one of the video game testers here! And she is absolutely good at her job." Auri fake laughed trying to ease up the tension around.

That lit Shina's mood as you mentally eye roll. The only thing she is good at is being full of herself. "Our Y/N is the new game designer here. But along with her job she has shown perfect professionalism and gained trust of all the employees here within such a short time." you look at Mirae still sitting beside, not giving a fuck about Shina's presence as she admired her nails. That made you smile inside at how Mi has not change one bit.

"Yeah. It's only been one week and she is considered the best here. Shina might fail fawning her own charm to others" Jae ah added giggling making Mirae chuckle and grin at Shina.

Shina looked taken a back as her eyes inspected every one of you but her sweet smile didn't falter, "Oh my gosh. Jae ah what the hell are you saying? I'm obviously happy that Y/N gained popularity here.We are all friends after all,”she smirked,“I was in France for a week and I see a lot happening ,wow, and I must have a load of works waiting as well" Shina purred the last sentence with fake laughs coming from her.

"Don't worry Jihyo, Sana & Minnie did a great job covering up for you!" Jae-ah replied.

"As always" Mirae cooed smirking as Shina digged holes on her back. "Mira-"

" M'am! Mrs. Choi called for you immediately" a very slim woman came in a rush cutting the mad Shina from almost jumping at Mirae. The woman looked very familiar to you and in a second you recognized when Shina called her name, "Oh my. Is my mother waiting for too long Ae sook ah?" Ae sook nodded, fear written on her eyes scaring everything outta Shina. So her right hand is now her assistant? Not surprised.

Shina turned trying to gain her composure again but the beads of sweat said something else, "Anyways I need to attend a personal meeting now. I'm eagerly waiting for your presentations in the future meetings Y/N. Let's test your professionalism, shall we?"

Her stupid smirk made her look more distasting, "Well why not? I'll show you, not that I care about your 'test' but because it's fun seeing you getting frustrated?" she pretended to not hear you as she turned to her heels but her glare said it all.

Mirae jumped infront of all of you shoving a piece of carrot into each of your mouth, "well let's save our 'fun chat' for another time as it just got ruined and lunch time is almost over and also the new CEO will be arriving in any hour."

She practically yelled at the reminder of today's meeting for the new CEO. "New CEO?" You asked amazed not knowing anything about it.

"Holy shit. I almost forgot today our current CEO is going to hand his business over to his son" Auri panicked. "How did we forget this? I gotta go prepare a lot" ,Jae-ah waved at y'all quickly, practically running out from the cafeteria.

"How come I wasn't informed?" you wonder. "Well maybe you weren't there or something Y/n-ah it's okay now you know beforehand at least", Auri pats you as you nodded smiling.

"Just be sure to be there or I'm dead as I'm in charge of rechecking every employee's presence" Mirae chuckles ruffling your hair as you three step in the elevator ready for another several hours of work.

.

You head to your cubicle as a happy Tzuyu waves at you, "Good afternoon! Had a great time?" you smiled at your coworker, "Very much great I swear!"

Nayeon chuckled as you huff a tired sigh,"Seems like its gonna be greater."

Your head snapped at her giving her a confused look as your right brow arched upward. "Did you bring the file?" she grinned.

shit. Your confused gaze turned into a terrific one as millions of scenarios played into your head. Solar sure is the most generous,kind & sweet woman but when it comes to work she got no mercy. Strict as hell.

Solar is gonna kill me. You groaned running one hand through your hair. How could you forget something this important? Today is not really your day.

"Aigoo! stop scaring her nayeonnie~" Tzuyu chuckled throwing a piece of crumpled paper at nayeon as she laughed.

"Oh c'mon I'm telling the truth!'' she ruffled your hair enjoying your frustrated state. "Idiot!You can go and bring it.Right now?''

right now? how? its gonna take hours even if you leave now? Plus what if you take a lot of time? In one word 'impossible'

"Possible but hard." Tzuyu arched her brows together rubbing on her temple in a thinking manner. Did she just fight with your thoughts? Nayeon nodded, "You better leave right away sis."

"Leave?who?" a familiar voice asks wondering as your head snapped towards the top of your cubicle.

There stood Mirae ; your only ray of hope at the moment. "Yo! You look sick? shit lemme help!'' she panicked. You instantly get up taking her hands into yours with pleading eyes,

"i do need help"

.

"Bro how can you forget something so important to solar?" Mirae yelled for the nineteenth time. She's been panicking for the past ten minutes not caring how much she is cursing at work hours.

"I mean I would say nothing if it was Soojin-", mirae's gaze softened when she meets your frustrated state. She pats your shoulder consoling you & herself, " Calm down! calm down! Its nothing to worry about." she chuckled nervously watching you scoff. "Okay,i mean it is. but it can be solved. you just go back & bring that file asap. simple."

simple? you look at her shocked as she shifts uncomfortably biting her lower lip.she knew what she was saying. 'you got no other choice.' she mouths fiddling with her finger.

"Listen." ,she barks suddenly gaining her confidence, "Trust me. I'll handle everything. Just some hours it is right? thats nothing for me." she said nonchalantly leaning closer to you, winking. Her reassuring tone calmed you down a bit.

you knew when Mirae meant to save anyone she really meant it with her life. "Also bet Solar is gonna be late as she's busy with the-" she stops and starts as realization hits the tip of her tongue,"shit what am I gonna do with the 'new CEO's arrival meeting" she facepalmed as your mouth went dry again.

"Don't worry, y/n is a newbie, she will not be asked for as its practically just the new CEO talking. We really need the file, else, the graphic designs might be postponed for another week.'' Tzuyu popped up almost like an angel.

Mi clapped her hands together smiling although you knew its gonna be a perilous step for her as she is the one assuring every stuffs presence, "Right y/n im gonna handle that too. Just go.'' she smiled at you as you stared at her with eyes full of guilt.

"But-"

"No buts just go!"

.

You sat on your couch head hanging low, your long straight hair messed up, gaze weekly fixed on your smartphone's time. 4:35 it flashed right at your eyes as if its mocking you.

Today even the time is against you. You're not even surprised at this point. Stupid Traffic tsk. You let out a painful laugh,groaning afterwards.Universe showed you karma for no reason today. Why always me?

Even after leaving at 3:30 in hope of reaching within 30 minutes; time completely played with you with its favorite weapon, the traffic. It was hell of a long ride of a total one hour. And when you finally reached it took a solid ten minute to find the file in the dustbin. The dustbin? For real? Were you drunk? The last time you were this irresponsible was back in high school when you lost your attendance sheet.

Even if you leave now it will take another hour and you'll reach after the office closes. and if it takes half an hour for you to reach; someone for sure will approach you and ask where you were. You should've been in the boring meeting where the CEO would be giving some common speech of making more profits by working together like any other CEO but here you were counting your last days.

You tap on the contact logo as staring at the time is of no use. Your eyes guiltily roamed to the contact of your savior. Mirae.

You stressed her enough by dropping a thousand pounds of pressure. If you apologize to her she sure will slap you even if you knew you were at guilt,she would never make you feel that.

She must be at the meeting but still you make a call, though you know its no use as the other line said , "The number you've called is currently switched off; please try again later." Hope she's not in trouble.

Its 5:00. No use of going back neither sitting here. Letting out a long sigh you get yourself up to take a shower. Needa relax your stiff body and messed up mind.

.

You took longer than usual in the shower to kill the time. You already had thought of searching for some jobs as this one is clearly at risk. You sigh looking at the clock. 6:00pm. Soon everyone will end their shift. You pick up your phone to call Mirae praying to God.At least she shouldn't lose her job. On forth ring she picked up as your breath hitched slightly.

"I think I'm losing my job?" you exhale.

"What? no.'' she nervously chuckles from the other side of the line.

nervous & Mi? This is the first time of this day you felt her being slightly nervous. That's when you knew you are absolutely doomed.

"Did I messed up big? Are you in troub-"you stopped as you heard an unfamiliar tone scolding Mirae? Is he the CEO? If he is you already can say he is one of that stuck up, egoistic, jerky once.

"I'm sorry it's not like I did something wrong? Why are you coming at me?" she replied strictly to the man,trying to not show her nervousness.

You heard faint sounds of the man chuckling. Sarcastically?

"Mi?-"

"Hey I'll be talking on our gc.Later.And solar doesn't even remember.She's busy, don't worry." she hurriedly said through gritted teeth yet trying to sound cheerful as usual.And she hung up.

She sounded more mad than nervous. God knows what happened.

.

VIP Hoomans

Y/N

Should I head back to the office? Is Mi in big trouble?

I'm so sorry guys. This is all my fault. I will do everything to save Mi's job istg.

Auri

Don't you dare blame yourself. Nobody's losing any job for a stupid reason tf-

Mirae

I have it all covered up. Don't even think like that. You're all safe.

Jae-ah

We are all human y/n.

We can forget dw.

and my Mirae handled everything professionally uwu

Auri

except one and very unprofessionally at that

she literally went hulk mode omg

Mirae

Auri. Dont dare.

Y/N

Shit.Did you mess up something sis?

Mirae

It has nothing to do w you y/n I swear!

Its just something between me & that jerk.

y/n

jerk?

perhaps you mean the CEO,right?

Auri

Nah,the ceo is very extraordinary & kind at heart.

Jae-ah

Yeah he promised us he'll make this company a living paradise from now on lol

Y/n

lol dramatic of him. Then who is it Mi is so mad at?

Auri

well well

Mirae is now enemy's w the new ceo's manager

Mirae

Also my coworker. And his cubicle happened to be right beside mine. How sweet, right?

Y/N

Wow so we finally found another competitive computer programmer aside of Mirae?

Auri

He is also an audio engineer.

Very genius and talented might I add.

Got his degree from Harvard.

Y/N 

Harvard?

Mirae

genius. my foot. Jeon Jungkook,stuck up jerk.

Auri

Oh. And snaps w his words. Mr.Jeon found it inappropriate and unacceptble as he found the senior programmer aka mi dozing off & looking disturbed in the middle of the meeting.

Mirae found her match,finally.

xD

Mirae

Y'all dont needa make me remember -.- 

and he's no match to me pfft

Jae-ah

Poor Mirae already was frustrated w all this fuss and now gave a bad first impression to him TT

Mirae

idgaf to that

Jae-ah

he also wanted to recheck if every employees were present..

Shina

And Mirae the trouble maker she is tried to block his way.Now he is suspecting more.

Mirae

How funny,right? Shina only pops up to suck tea and throw some blames here and there.

Shina

Oh my, is it your way to thank me for distracting that awfully handsome guy, love?

Jae-ah

you did nothing tho..?

he looked annoyed by you so he left lol

Mirae

the way i love you Jae ah ;)

anyways he should start counting his days backwards from now on because I'm sure as hell not going to be easy on him.

he might be the player but im always the coach.

Jae-ah

thats my Mirae 

y/n

here we go playing another round of 'Mi the fatal woman' XD

Auri

ok are we done w this drama?

Mirae

you started it m'am x)

ok so who's up for hanging out!?

its been so long istg.

Shina

me.

Mirae

look who's talking lol

Jae-ah 

it sounds fun!

Y/N

oh yeah why not? i need some fresh air anyways.

Auri

im totally up!~ but where ? 

Mirae

;)

Seoulmusement veshia! 

we are surely paying visit to the park of maze there as well ;)

-

You smiled to yourself keeping  your phone on the night stand as you head to your kitchen. Mirae will never stop recommending underrated places just because of their 'fancy' names. You've always felt lucky to have such helpful,supportive & selfless friend as Auri & Mirae by your side. Even if the world turns upside down you will be always their first priority. 

You take the pan to make your favourite half boiled noodles. After what happened today you mentally prepared yourself to add extra spice to feel the sadness. Everybody has their own way to mourn you know?  But after all of your friends saving you from this mess you're now beyond happy to do that. Instead you ended up adding extra mushrooms. After the noodles is done you turn off the stove and head to the drawing room. 

You jump on your comfy couch turning on the tv searching for your favourite cartoon 'shinchan' no matter how old you grow you're never gonna get bored of this cartoon. Shinchan has always been your role model for living life just the way you want to. You love how he doesnt care about anything and just goes on without any worry. After watching several episodes you watch some of your favourite vlogs & then continue a drama which you were watching lately. Tomorrow is your weekend so what could possibly go wrong if  you go to sleep late and over sleep? Nothing. You chuckle remembering your teenage days when you had no adult responsibilities and would sleep till afternoon & then Auri would wake you up when you were in the bathroom.

.

"Yah!" you tried escaping once more,  trying to turn to the left path but the strong hand pulled you once again to the small corner as both of your bodies almost collided together. Your breath hitched slightly at the sight before you but you tried to stay sane. The close proximity made both of you feel each others breaths on the lips. He trapped you between his arms staring at you with those eyes which always holds thousand of unspoken mystery,millions of truth untold. It always brought you into a totally different world. A world where only the two of you remained forever.

''You smell so sweet, I cant get enough of you.'' he inhaled the natural scent of your hair fondly which he does alot. Butterflies in your stomach told you just to feel this moment. Feel him close. His heart,his soul,him & those eyes. He loved playing with your hair. He placed a sweet kiss on your forehead  looking down at you  as he found you looking anywhere but him. He chuckles seeing you flustered as he lifts your chin to meet his gaze.

He takes your hand leading it to his bare chest as you grasped. He had his plain white shirt unbuttoned with his built chest on full display which you were trying to not look all this time. His hair was wet & messed up as his locks fell on his forehead. Too hot to handle. Your palm felt the warmth as it roamed around the area before he decided to place it on his heart,

"This.." he purred in a raspy voice leaning closer  his breath brushing on your lips making your heart stop,"it only keeps beating faster & faster everyday..what should I do Y/n -ah?" he exhaled.

''a-are y-you sick?..shouldn't you consult a doctor? instead of telling m-me?" you mentally curse for stuttering. You knew what he meant and could feel his heart beating fast against his chest but you couldn't prepare yourself yet. So you tried to joke. He chuckles seeing you uncontrollably blush, clear failed attempt of joking amusing him,

"What if you're the only doctor to my heart?" he smiled playing along as he caressed your cheeks. You struggled to let a word out. 

"Not gonna let you dodge this moment again Ms.Kim" he whispers biting slightly on your earlobe. You let out a unintentional moan which made him lose it completely.

"heal me.." with that two words said he crashed his lips with yours as your eyes widened not knowing what to do. He was moving his lips passionately not averting his gaze from you. You melted at his touch ; his hands roaming aggressively on your back and sides. The honey-like taste of his lips made your insides moan in pleasure. You looked at his  mesmerizing dreamy eyes before closing yours as both of your lips moved in sync. 

Just like both of your lips both souls connected like two last lost puzzles finally finding each others mate. The moment was intense,hot,passionate,needy yet the aura around you radiated true love & affection. As if he had no intention of letting you go. He waited for you,wanted you,needed you and now that you're here he wasn't letting you go any soon.

His hands slightly rose your shirt stroking the sides of your bare waist as you pulled him closer wrapping your arms around his neck feeling every bit of his lips. He moaned between the kiss as he took your upper lips biting it slightly,making you moan. He cupped your cheeks pulling your lower lips afterwards. The intensity made you lose it as you pulled his hair mouth leaving breathy moans. You were turning him on. So much.

Your back hit the wall as he pressed himself against you; lips finally leaving yours as you both breathed heavily on each other. He leaned close to your ear whispering, "Y/n-ah.." he purred;his usual soft voice getting deeper taking you to another realm as he breaths,"do you know..." he bit your earlobe as the touch of his lips trailed down to your jawline leaving open mouth kisses,

"..what is the strongest organ to fight with?" His gaze shifted to your confused face as  he left a soft peck on your lips chuckling.

 ''h-huh?'' finally you could utter something between this overpowering  heavily breaths. As you try to open your eyes your long eyelashes flatter leaving faint shadows of it; he didn't utter a word staring right through you as you did the same; gulping down his ethereal beauty. As he was drunk with your mesmerizing self; you.

"What do you mean ? What is it?" your eyes widened as his smirk widened as well followed by the next two words said,

"The tongue"  and suddenly with a thud it's all dark again.

.

“Wake the fuck up you dirty hoe.”

.

»next