Rockstarsaretheprettiestbreed - Rockstars Are The Prettiest Breed - Tumblr Blog

just gotta think that im a Aki Kaurismäki character and that my life will be better in any moment now, then Kati Outinen will save my ass from something

And the same in English:

Kalevala, the “Finnish National Epic” is a gross, racist, colonialist piece of garbage. It was written and compiled by Elias Lönnrot in the 1800s. This is the gross, racist logic he followed:

-Other countries have epics, Finland needs an epic, but all the ‘real’ Finnish culture has already died away because of modernity.

-Oh I know, the Karelian people are less advanced than Finns! Therefore whatever nonsense they believe is what Finns used to believe, and that is our ancient heritage as well!

-I will go on various trips to record songs and poems and stories by Karelians to find the ancient Finnish epic.

-Hmm, all this material I have collected is a little bit all over the place. This is not good enough. I will have to make some changes. And leave some stuff out. And also maybe make some stuff up myself. Maybe entire characters. Yes, I shall do that.

-Yes, the epic is ready! I can publish it for the whole world to see! Now Finland has an epic and we are ready to get this nationalism thing really going! Whoo! We are a real nation because we have real cultural heritage!

-

Fast forward a couple hundred years and Karelians are regularly called both “just Finnish and your language is just a dialect of Finnish” and “slur for Russians.” Finns have never even attempted to repair what they have done to the Karelians and are actively hindering any attempts at Karelian revitalisation.

And there is currently a bid to get the Kalevala on the Unesco list of intangible cultural heritage. I will be mad as hell if that passes.

Like Finland has real cultural heritage. It has national cultural heritage, it has regional cultural heritage, it has minorities with important cultural heritage. There is a lot here.

But apparently Finns want to die on this gross, racist hill instead. -_-

Historical Trans Men

1. Dr. James Barry, 1789-1865, military surgeon

2. "One-Eyed" Charley Parkhurst, 1812-1879, stagecoach driver

3. Ralph Kerwineo, 1876-1932, clerk

4. Harry Allen, 1882-1922, vagrant and criminal

5. Amelio Robles Ávila, 1889-1984, military commander during the Mexican Revolution

6. Victor Barker, 1895-1960, restaurant proprietor

7. Zdeněk Koubek, 1913-1986, track athlete

8. Billy Tipton, 1914-1989, jazz musician

9. Willmer "Little Ax" M. Broadnax, 1916-1992, jazz musician

10. Jim McHarris, 1924-?, auto mechanic

this one time I ran a red light on mistake and I didn’t notice it was red until it was too late so I just ran the light screeching like an angry pterodactyl the entire time

a cop was at the intersection so he pulled me over and when he came up to my window he was wheezing cause he was laughing so hard and he said

“ok so i know you ran a red light and that’s really bad and you should never do it again but i’m not gonna give you a ticket cause that was the funniest thing i’ve ever seen and my partner can’t get out of the car cause he’s laughing so hard he’s about to pee himself”

i forgot that i’d had my window open when i ran the red light and the cop told me that all he heard from my car was this really high-pitched “screeeeeeeeeeEEEEEEEAAAHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhh”

and that’s how i got out of getting a ticket for running a red light

^^ said it better than i ever could ^^

Corey & Slipknot Hugs

so true

Unspoken Rules of the Classic Rock Fandom

1. Everyone wants a time machine. Like, more than they want oxygen.

2. Everyone has a crush on a 25-year-old version of a man who’s currently either in his 70’s or dead.

3. There’s gonna be that one song from your favorite band that makes you cry every time at inopportune moments. Just go with it.

4. There can never be enough musical biopics, even if they’re not always the greatest movies.

5. Rockstars, despite being musical geniuses, are often fucking idiots.

6. You can’t surprise older fans anymore because they’ve kinda seen/heard it all. The mudshark incident? The egg burrito thing? David Bowie doing so much coke that he dropped his weight to 95 pounds to avoid having his soul stolen? Been there, done that, got the T-shirt.

7. Elton John may not technically be a rockstar, but we’ve all adopted him as one anyway. Fight me.

8. The 60’s had LSD. The 70’s had heroine. The 80’s had cocaine. The 90’s had even more heroine. Today, all we have is tears about missing all the good shows that were played before most of us were born.

9. Please don’t ask about John Entwistle’s mustache. Yeah, that mustache. We don’t know either.

10. Handmade guitars and fat-bottomed girls make the rockin’ world go ‘round, honey.

11. If you say Freddie Mercury’s teeth are ugly, may God have mercy on your poor soul.

12. When we say “The bigger, the better”, we’re talking about 80’s glam rock hairstyles.

13. Everyone has a hand kink. That’s all.

14. Don’t be a bitch to new fans.

15. Vinyl will always be better than an mp3 and live music will always be better than vinyl.

16. Everyone has cried over a low-quality, shitty picture or a blurry, poorly-filmed video of your favorite band at least once.

17. Live Aid Day might as well be a national holiday, except for the Led Zeppelin fandom (sorry, guys).

18. Bassists are the most under appreciated members of every band. Fix this. NOW.

19. Everyone has that one guitar solo that just sorta awakened something in you the first time you heard it and you’ve never been the same since.

20. LEMONS. Also Jack Daniels.

- 🤘🏻

Post Credit: Impact on Instagram.