This Right Here

This right here ☝️☝️

Surviving High School English- A Guide

We've all been there: It's the night before your essay is due and you haven't even cracked open the book. You are staring down at a blank word document.

English can be a very hard subject, particularly if you are taking it at advanced levels such as IB or AP. English happens to be my favourite subject, so I thought I share a secret:

99% of English is bullshit.

So, I suppose this post is simply a guide to bullshitting effectively. I am going to focus on English, but it can be applied to other humanities subjects like history as well.

Sparknotes and LitCharts are your best friends.

I get it. Reading is hard. I personally love to read, and always try my best to reads the books for class, but I get that that is sometimes not possible. So just jump onto Sparknotes or LitCharts. Both have full summaries of most classic books, and a lot of popular contemporary books that are used in schools. The page for each book also has chapter-by-chapter summaries, character breakdowns, analyses of major themes and motifs, and even essay ideas.

Seriously. Use them.

2. Audiobooks

I love audiobooks. I get at least half my reading done through them. I like using Audible the best (no affiliate link. I just love it!). You can get your first audiobook free, and they have a whole catalogue of books that are included if you are a member. Seriously, normalise audiobooks. They have saved my ass so many times when I have had to read a big book in a short amount of time. The best thing about them is that you can listen to them while you do other things. Doing chores, driving, making dinner, even going for a run. And if you have dyslexia, it will be a lifesaver for you.

3. Know a few things, but know them well

Do a close reading of a few chapters. Know examples of one motif by heart. Having vague knowledge is no good to anyone, least of all yourself. Hone in on a few key points, and know them inside and out. You can afford to do this in English. Again, Sparknotes and Litcharts are great for this. Choose one theme, and read their page on it. It's as simple as that!

4. If your text was set in/ published in a different time era, do some very basic research on that period

For example, Of Mice and Men (a great book, btw) was both published and set in the 1930's. It is set in California. This is important because many of the story's main themes and motifs are based around this. The themes of the American Dream and minority rights are very prevalent throughout the book. Steinbeck was trying to make a statemnt. And if we didn't know the social context of the time, we would not be able to analyse it. So do your research, even if it is very basic

5. If you are not sure, it is probably a reference to the Bible, or Shakespeare, or Greek Mythology

Literally. Give me any classic book, and I could point out a hundred references to these three. Your English teacher will certainly give you extra points for picking up any allusions of this sort. Once again, on both Sparknotes and Litcharts, most books have a page dedicated to the literary allusions present in them. Use. This.

6. Utilize Tumblr

It sounds silly, but you are much more likely to remember what happened/major themes if you read them from shitposts. Engage people with discussions! Talk about your thoughts on the book, ask them for theirs! There is a very good chance that practically every book has been fandomised on this hellsite. I recently had an incredibly interesting and insightful discussion about the phenomenon of Sherlock Holmes and its effect on modern fan culture. Wouldn't that make a great essay?

7. If you can find any evidence whatsoever, then to your English teacher it is good enough.

If you can successfully argue a point, then you will do well on your essay! Anyone seen that post about the person who wrote an essay that Hamlet was partially blind, and they ended up getting a really high mark for it? That is what I am talking about! Argue that Jay Gatsby was gay, that Sherlock Holmes was autistic and that Dorian Gray had ADHD. Write a whole essay proving that George was in love with Lennie or that Heathcliff is a werewolf. Claim that everyone in Pride and Prejudice is an alien. I don't care (although I would love to read the alien one!). Seriously, I have talked to my English teacher about this: as long as you can find evidence and defend your claim, it is true in the eyes of your teacher.

8. Actually listen in class

I may just be lucky, but every English teacher I've ever had has supplied the class with a lot of the information above, such as the historical context of the story.

9. Start early and over-outline

If your essay is an assignment and not an exam, my advice is to start as soon as you know what the task is! Even if you write the title, and start mulling it over in your head. Write down any ideas you have immediately, take quotes from the book, the author and even others. Once you have your ideas, outline, outline, outline! This is my greatest advice for any subject you need to write an essay for! Don't make the outline rigid, but put down all your ideas. Be silly with it, using abbreviations and swear words and memes. Just get your points down. This fights procrastination too, becuase you think you are only outlining. Once you have everything out in a rough order, all you have to do is open up a blank document and put it into formal and pretentious language. I usually find that if my outline is a bit less than half my word count, then I will be good to go once I have typed it all up. The ratio might be different for you. See what works.

And there you go! You have just written yourself a world-class essay with all of your knowledge of the book! I'm so proud of you!

I hope this has been helpful. These are the ways I personally work. If I think of anything else I will add it on.

Happy reading! (Or Sparknote-ing lol)

If you are beginning your semester of school this upcoming week or sometime soon; I am wishing that you transition smoothly into your academic environment. I hope that you develop comfortable relationships with your professors and instructors. I pray any financial burdens that have arisen be resolved timely and easily.

Bought these cool water soluble graphite pencils and I love them I am obsessed with them

Please

Petition for a theatre production of The Picture of Dorian Gray where Dorian wears a booty shorts with "psychoanalyze me" printed on its back .

Midnight writing

Okay while it’s still fresh in my head-

So am I just making things up or did Wilde mention a few times in The Picture of Dorian Gray that Dorian had a horse? Because I swear he did. I remember reading about a horse once or twice. Honestly there was a good chunk of the book that I totally forgot and it’s everything that doesn’t have to do with Basil and Dorian being fruity 💅.

Anyway, following the idea that Dorian has a horse, I drew her! (I think a mare was mentioned). As far as I know there wasn’t any name given to the horse so I decided to name her and her name is Mary, after Mary Shelley. I have a Dorian fic where Dorian introduces Basil to Frankenstein, so that’s where the name Mary came from.

I haven’t drawn horses in a while so bear with me as I rekindle my horse drawing skillz. Also I tried to look at Victorian horse tack references and all that shows up is ladies riding side-saddle and their dresses are covering most of the horse 😐. So I just gave Dorian’s horse modern English tack (I made the saddle too big-) I imagine she’s a black English thoroughbred :)

Basil and Dorian riding horses together?