Sadpuppetshows - SAY MY NAME - Tumblr Blog
let’s waste that time together, okay?
when i climb to the top of mount rock, and i’m there staring down from the heights.
— unrealistic and idealized images of female beauty in our own corrupt modern media discourse !
…why not.
if you’re feeling ANGRY, then put some of it into your music !!
“JUDAS! you’re playing without me!?”
“it’s only just started– i only have a few minutes until patty gets home!”
[PLAYER TWO HAS ENTERED THE GAME] // ned & dewey being ass kicking titans of rock
The beetleman and his mood ring hair
Lawrence raised an eyebrow at the demon with a slight head tilt. He was slightly intimidated, but curiosity killed the cat, so he might as well play along with this little charade. He had questions, but didn’t want to be too straightforward. It was always fun to beat around the bush every once and awhile..
“The hell do you mean, ‘talk things out’? I BARELY know you? Granted, we look almost identical, but that MUST be purely coincidental.. There’s no way..
Call me crazy, but I think I’m YOU, from the PAST...”
sadpuppetshows:
Lawrence glanced at the card with a scoff.
“Hey I used to give these out… Huh. ANYWAYS I’m Lawrence! Nice to meet you, Be- Hold on a second.. I’m sorry.. Can I show you something..?”
The rocker pulled out from a very old, crumpled card stack from his inside jacket pocket. They all read:
BETELGEUSE BETELGEUSE BETELGEUSE, SELF PROCLAIMED BIOEXORCIST
“What the FUCK IS HAPPENING….?”
“Are we going by the first name now huh? Well suppose it’s a somewhat normal breather name.”
His features fell from the grin that had been held to then a rather surprised look now, an almost scared look but he wasn’t scared, just shocked. He didn’t ever except this, never excepted anything like this to happen at all. All this happened when he saw Lawrence pull the very old crumpled stack of cards.
Maybe then this was a weird time thing, an old friend he knew was a time hopper or whatever, not that he had really believed the man back then. But still it seemed perhaps that maybe, this Lawrence was a possible future or another timeline where he got to stay alive.
But to confirm any of that they would need information and well Beetlejuice was now stuffing the card he had held out back into his striped jacket pocket now. He was getting annoyed,not at the other but at himself, this was turning out more confusing to him. He’s still staring at the card, in disbelief.
“…well Handso– Lawrence maybe that’s something for us to work out..”
Lawrence glanced at the card with a scoff.
“Hey I used to give these out... Huh. ANYWAYS I’m Lawrence! Nice to meet you, Be- Hold on a second.. I’m sorry.. Can I show you something..?”
The rocker pulled out from a very old, crumpled card stack from his inside jacket pocket. They all read:
BETELGEUSE BETELGEUSE BETELGEUSE, SELF PROCLAIMED BIOEXORCIST
“What the FUCK IS HAPPENING....?”
sadpuppetshows:
The rockstar raised an eyebrow as he eyed the other curiously. The strange entity looked almost identical to himself.. Odd.
He paced around the demon with a curious flint in his eye, as a look of shock overtook his features.
“Uh… Who the hell are you..?
And why do you look so much like me…?”
“Oh Hello there handsome, you can see me~”
He chuckles a little and brings himself to the floor, closer to the breather that looks like him, eye to eye at this point as he’s still grinning widely now. He tilts his head to one side, it almost seems like to much of a tilt that it’s unnatural. But then the demon was always like that, just bending or moving a little too much one way or another to seem a bit unnatural, as he then held out the battered and torn card he carried to show his name; Beetlejuice.
“Well you can call me that on the card or BJ, but who the hell are you? I never knew a breather could look so much like me?”
He was studying the other watching him closely and careful. The demon hadn’t excepted his day to be so interesting and yet, here he was staring down his almost living mirror image and it was something he was insanely curious about now, wanting to know more about him. He wondered how the other people he had known recently would react to this too.
The rockstar raised an eyebrow as he eyed the other curiously. The strange entity looked almost identical to himself.. Odd.
He paced around the demon with a curious flint in his eye, as a look of shock overtook his features.
“Uh... Who the hell are you..?
And why do you look so much like me...?”
Well catch Beetlejuice just grinning like a mad man, at least if anyone could see him they would. However it’s now making sense why he was being drawn so strongly to this place, he’d been wandering around for awhile munching on beetles as he did so.
No one had been able to see him, but catching the passing figure of the other male as this feeling of pull got stronger. So of course the demon’s curiosity over it got him to follow the other now. Floating quietly behind him.
Once he stopped in a room, Beetlejuice is placing himself at the back of the room, easy to be seen by the other however should he be able to see him, but seeing him from the front even he has to admit that the similar appearance is a bit too uncanny for him, like a strange breather mirror.
“Well ain’t this just a strange and unusual situation…”
He muttered quietly to himself now, as he stood arms folded across his chest now, feet just slightly off the ground and probably not that obvious however to anyone unless they were really looking.
{ starter with beetlejuice for @sadpuppetshows }
LAWRENCE chuckled softly and held her hand tightly , a wide smile making its way to his face as he slowly moved to press a soft kiss to her hand .
“ I’ve said how many times I want to break that stupid boys face now ? Nessa , I assure you that I would never do 𝑨𝑵𝒀𝑻𝑯𝑰𝑵𝑮 to break your trust .
That’s not how you treat a lady , now is it? ”
𝘊𝘏𝘌𝘌𝘒𝘚 𝘍𝘓𝘜𝘚𝘏 , enough where she can feel the color make its way to her face as his hand embraces it . though , the origin of the fluttering feeling is still unknown ; is it from the words or the way he doesn’t hesitate to show affection ? her judgement in the past had been far from good , what with the way that she had entrusted her happiness into boq ( who never gave her a wink of attention ) . and with talk about of what it is she deserves , a smile cracks upon a normally composed expression . ❛ oh – ❜ nessa begins , cutting herself off . people didn’t often show interest , and even less likely were they to act upon it . the happiest girl in the world is a foreign concept for someone who has only ever lived with looming woe . her voice lowers , barely above a small whisper . ❛ i trust you , i just . . . ❜ feeling overwhelmed , she pulls her face away from his palm . even with promised devotion , it is hard to believe . her suspicions with boq had been correct ; he had used her to gain the attention of someone else . but when he denied it , nessarose was so desperate to believe it that she did . the mistake had only further hurt . who is to say that all men aren’t just as bad ? ❛ it isn’t you , ❜ she tries to explain , gaining a bit of confidence again . sheepishly , a hand reaches to grab his and holds on tightly . the idea that lawrence could be pulling the same stunt as boq is preposterous . in private , he was showing that he cared and promising that it is genuine . ❛ i think that i can trust you . ❜
✧･ﾟ @sadpuppetshows continued !
The musician scoffed with a small chuckle.
“ Words don’t mean anything, Nessa. Especially to a puny little boy like him- Who the 𝑯𝑬𝑳𝑳 is named 𝑩𝑶𝑸 ? Like what even is that name- It sounds like a chicken! Well , I mean he certainly is one, but don’t tell anyone I said that . . ”
𝘚𝘏𝘌 𝘞𝘈𝘕𝘛𝘚 to retaliate and convince him that she is , in fact , not too innocent to hear the story . he is a true raconteur , with each tale more intriguing than the next . but before nessarose can say a word , he continues on ; there must be a better reason that her apparent innocence that he doesn’t wish to tell it . ❛ surely you can get him to back off if you use your words , ❜ nessa suggests , a bit of sarcasm in the tone . such a thing would be out of character for lawrence – even just to pass up an opportunity to discuss something so violent ( she can’t imagine that he would ever actually kill boq , for fear of what may happen instead of the actions themselves ) . yet she can admit that it would be satisfying , in the least , for boq to get something as payback . ❛ stomp on his heart , just not . . . literally . ❜
✧･ﾟ @sadpuppetshows continued !
“…hey. hey. guys, c’mere, hey. listen. no, listen. they are screaming our name. okay? that is rock and roll. that is what we came here for.
and besides– no real rock star ever won anything.
i am really proud of you guys. we did it– we did it.”
“How was your day, man?”
“So-so.”
“ i understand that it’s a lot to process ”
LAWRENCE knelt in front of Nessarose’s chair, a small smile making its way to his face. “Hey.. You don’t have to keep thinking about that stupid Boq guy, you know. He was a waste of time, Nessa. You have other things you have to worry about, anyways! Like.. giving me a sufficient amount of daily cuddles..! And making sure you’re getting proper exercise! Speaking of, we should probably go do that. Would you like me to carry you?”
‘i want something to believe in.’
LAWRENCE sat beside Nessa, as he softly strummed his guitar with a hum.
“So.. Nessa.. Have you ever missed someone you were really close to..?”
He sighed, shaking his head with a small chuckle.
“I miss someone.. Her name was Lydia Deetz, heh. Ended up killing me though, haven’t heard about her in awhile.. ANYWAYS!..”
beetlejuice: the musical sentence starters.
‘we have only each other.’
‘scripture tells us: sorrow not, for we do not walk alone.’
‘you’re invisible when you’re sad.’
‘nobody understands.’
‘grownups wanna fix things.’
‘is it being greedy to need somebody to see me and say my name?’
‘holy crap, a ballad already?’
‘sorry to barge in.’
‘let’s skip the tears and start on the whole, y’know, being dead thing.’
‘if i hear your cell-phone ringing, i’ll kill you myself.’
‘we should have carpe’d way more diems.’
‘i do this bullshit, like, eight times a week.’
‘just relax, you’ll be fine.’
‘drink your fifty-dollar wine.’
‘full disclosure: it’s a show about death.’
‘everybody gets on fine here.’
‘every show i do, like, a ton of coke.’
‘jesus, pass the dramamine.’
‘we’re all on a hit list.’
‘hey, that’s just statistics.’
‘there’s a giant snake here!’
‘how you doin’? …not good.’
‘death is taboo, but it’s hardly something new.’
‘there’s nothing medical professionals can do ‘cept maybe just bill you.’
‘that’s the thing with life, no one makes it out alive.’
‘gosh, it’s awful, aint it tragic?’
‘blah, blah, bible, jesus magic.’
‘namaste, you freakin’ posers.’
‘i have mastered the art of tearing convention apart.’
Keep reading
BEETLEJUICE THE MUSICAL SENTENCE STARTERS .
“ i really love creepy old guys ! ” “ saggy old asses ! ” “ hey , baby , smile . ” “ i’m so happy , i could cry . ” “ get prepared for armageddon . ” “ i know that on the outside , you’re disgusting , and - even on the inside , you’re disgusting … ” “ this is so normal ! ” “ i was ignored , but now i’m adored - ‘cause i extorted , tortured and lied ! ” “ you could use a buddy . ” “ don’t you want a pal ? yes you do , yes you do ! ” “ girl , the way i see it , your daddy should be leaving and you should stick around . ” “ let’s kill him ! ” “ together we’ll exterminate , assassinate ! ” “ the finer points can wait . ” “ i don’t know your name . ” “ how about a game of charades ? ” “ wow , i’m impressed ! ” “ all you’ve gotta do is say my name three times . three times in a row - it must be spoken unbroken ! ready ? okay , go ! ” “ because you’re so smart , a stand - up bro , i’ll think about your offer and let’cha know . ” “ being young and female doesn’t mean that i’m an easy mark . ” “ yes , life sucks , but not that much ! ” “ be a doll and spare the lecture . ” “ are you any good ? ” “ trust me , baby ! ” “ i just met ya ! ” “ really , it’s a flattering offer … ” “ don’t you wanna see ____ suffer ? ” “ you are … tougher than you look . ” “ what the heck was that ?! ” “ hold up , girl , i’m your pal ! ” “ they’re sweet but i’m a demon straight from hell — ” “ i know i went a little hard on my sell … ” “ we’re BFFs forever ! ” “ he wants the perfect daughter . ” “ it’s not their fault that they’re overprotective . ” “ only takes one shock , and i could be dead from the fear … ” “ let’s ring the bell of this creepy looking house ! ” “ why don’t you come inside ? ” “ but we’re really not supposed to … ” “ it’s so dark in here … ” “ i need a little help here . ” “ i’m a bunch of broken pieces . ” “ ____’s in denial . ” “ he wants me to smile and clap like a performing seal . ” “ ____’s lost his mind , for real . ” “ i want something to believe in , or i’m done ! ” “ i’m running out of hope and time . ” “ i’ll go insane if things don’t change . ” “ do you hear that sound ? ” “ that is the sound of clean white shorts turning brown . ” “ the sound of a scream is music to me ! ” “ that’s a sound that says fifteen years full time therapy . ” “ don’t oversell it . act natural . ” “ i don’t live here . i’m dead ! ” “ panic and stress ! ain’t it the best ? ” “ no more condescending adults hanging around ! ” “ ____ better leave me the hell alone . ” “ hey , look at me ! ” “ i’m finally free ! ” “ get outta my grill . ” “ you’re doomed ! ” “ don’t be freaked . ” “ i do this bullshit like eight times a week . ” “ you’re gonna be fine … ” “ WE’RE ALL GONNA DIE ! WE’RE ALL GONNA DIE ! ” “ jesus , i can’t spell . ” “ i understand it’s a lot to process … ” “ just stick with me . ” “ this house is haunted . ” “ i’m so glad you changed your mind ! ” “ you are never gonna regret this . ” “ we are gonna make such a great team ! ” “ it’s our house now , kid . ”
Beetlejuice: the Musical OBCR Starters! ACT 1
((>>act 2<<))
all changeable titles/pronouns will be in [italics and bracket!]
PROLOGUE: INVISIBLE
“ in times like these, we have no words, we only have each other ” “ we only have each other ” “ today we come together to mourn ” “ scripture tells us: “sorrow not, for we do not walk alone” ” “ sorrow not, for we do not walk alone ” “ you’re invisible when you’re sad ” “ clocks tick and phones still ring ” “ the world carries on like mad ” “ the world carries on like mad, but nobody sees a thing ” “ nobody sees a thing ” “ whispering behind their hands, lost for kind words to say ” “ nobody understands, and everyone goes away ” “ nobody understands ” “ everyone goes away ” “ grownups wanna fix things, when they can’t it only fills them shame ” “ they just look away ” “ is it being greedy to need somebody to see me and say my name? ” “ seems when you lose your [mom], no one turns off the sun ” “ folks carry on, that’s that ” “ holy crap, a ballad already? ” “ such a bold departure from the original source material! ”
THE WHOLE BEING DEAD THING
“ hey folks! begging your pardon! ” “ hey folks! ” “ begging your pardon! ” “ ‘scuse me! sorry to barge in! ” “ ‘scuse me! ” “ sorry to barge in! ” “ let’s skip the tears ” “ let’s skip the tears and start on the whole, y’know, being dead thing ” “ you’re doomed! ” “ you’re doomed! enjoy the singing ” “ the sword of Damocles is swinging ” “ if i hear your cell-phone ringing, i’ll kill you myself ” “ the whole being dead thing! ” “ death can get a person stressed ” “ we should have carpe’d way more diems, now we’re never gonna see ‘em ” “ we should have carpe’d way more diems ” “ i can show you what comes next ” “ don’t be freaked ” “ stay in your seats ” “ don’t be freaked, stay in your seats ” “ i do this bullshit like eight times a week ” “ so just relax, you’ll be fine ” “ drink your fifty-dollar wine and take a breath ” “ welcome to a show about death! ” “ you’re gonna be fine on the other side ” “ DIE! YOU’RE ALL GONNA DIE! YOU’RE ALL GONNA DIE! ” “ i’ll be your guide to the other side ” “ oh, and full disclosure: it’s a show about death! ” “ everybody gets on fine here ” “ everybody gets on fine here, like Rodgers, Hart, and Hammerstein here ” “ the women’s bathroom has no line here ” “ just… pee where you want! ” “ you’re just gonna love the folks here ” “ yes, i know you’re woke, but you can take a joke here ” “ i do, like, a TON of coke here ” “ nobody is bullet-proof ” “ “i work out! i eat clean!” jesus, pass the Dramamine ” “ jesus, pass the Dramamine ” “ time to face the brutal truth ” “ we’re all on a hitlist ” “ might not live ‘till christmas ” “ choke to death on Triscuits ” “ hey, that’s just statistics ” “ take a little break here ” “ kinda like a wake here ” “ the scenery is fake here ” “ there’s a giant snake here! ” “ how you doin’? not good! ” “ seriously though, this is a show about death ” “ death is taboo, but it’s hardly something new ” “ there’s nothing medical professionals could do, ‘cept maybe just bill you ” “ if you die while listening to this album, it’s still gonna keep playing ” “ there’s no destiny or fate, just a terrifying wait filled with people that you hate, and on a certain date, the universe kills you ” “ that’s the thing with life: no one makes it out alive ” “ toss that body in the pit ” “ gosh, it’s awful, ain’t it tragic? ” “ blah blah bible jesus magic ” “ when you’re dead, who gives a shit? ” “ pilates, no more yoga ” “ namaste, you fuckin’ posers! ” “ from the cradle to cremation, death just needs a little conversation ” “ i have mastered the art of tearing convention apart ” “ how about we all make a start on the whole being dead thing ” “ god, i hope you’re ready for a show about death! ”
READY, SET, NOT YET
“ look at this crib ” “ look at this crib, in all of it’s glorious antiquary ” “ every curve and surface speaks to me, saying pamper and spoil me, sand me and oil me; come on ” “ i know to the untrained eye it’s boring ” “ nothing’s a chore when you’re restoring ” “ apart from frustration, pain, and financial drain, it’s fun! ” “ why do you polish your crib when you don’t have a kid? ” “ even if you did have a kid, this crib is too precious for placing a baby inside it ” “ it simply exists to remind you your sense of perfection is just a reflection that you are not mentally prepared to make room for a kid ” “ why don’t you live? ” “ just make a start ” “ are you willing to take the next step? ” “ ready, set - ” “ look at these jugs! ” “ amazingly glazed and terracotta-ery ” “ i took some clay and made you pottery ” “ the world will never wreck you, i’ll protect you in a mother’s embrace ” “ why can’t you see that ceramics is simply a manifestation of [motherly] panic; by making a baby that’s breakable aren’t you creating a way of translating the terror of making [maternal] mistakes into clay, hiding away so you don’t have to face being a bad [mom]? ” “ that’s what you’ve done, ___ ” “ here we stand at the end of a 10-year plan ” “ a house, a yard, a minivan, a baby should be next ” “ together let’s leap off the cliff, fall forever, then smash to bits ” “ trapped in a terrifying viper pit ” “ trapped in a terrifying viper pit of diapers and regret ” “ are we willing to take the next step? ” “ ready, set - not yet ” “ why rush? ” “ soon enough our hopes and our dreams will be crushed ” “ but not yet ” “ not now ” “ we can’t start a family in a house with creaky floorboards ” “ you are absolutely right, let’s add it to the list ” “ with the cracks in the plaster ” “ the wi-fi should be faster ” “ this sofa needs a castor ” “ the bathroom’s a disaster! ” “ what about global poverty? ” “ what about world peace? ” “ then there’s the whole darn economy ” “ the whole middle east ” “ we should learn mandarin ” “ yeah! or spanish at least ” “ no habla espanol, dos cervezas por favor ” “ and that’s all we got, and that’s not a lot ” “ do we want a bilingual household or not? ” “ so let’s go slow, no breaking a sweat ” “ what’s the point of having children if we’re drowning in debt? ” “ see, i wasn’t kidding, it’s a show about death! ”
THE WHOLE BEING DEAD THING PT. 2
“ ready? okay! ” “ hi! i’ll be your guide! i’ll be your G-U-I-D-E to the other side! ” “ don’t go to the netherworld ” “ netherworld? ” “ did i say netherworld? never mind ” “ jesus, i can’t spell ” “ he’ll be your guide! ” “ let’s all get naked! ” “ let’s all get naked! eh, worth a try ” “ what is happening?! ” “ i understand that it’s a lot to process ” “ the good news is you and our spouse died in your own house ” “ that gives you clout ” “ that means the two of you should stick around ” “ lucky for you i dropped by ” “ yeah, you seem like nice guys ” “ a little on the pottery barn and dry white wine side ” “ as for me, i’ve been scaring for millennia ” “ i’m the bio-exorcist giving houses enemas ” “ push out all the breathers so you can breathe easy ” “ just stick with me ” “ i’m like a ghost zombie jesus ” “ ghost zombie jesus! ” “ i do it for the love of it. money? ah, who gives a shit ” “ i think we’re a perfect fit, c’mon let’s make out a bit ” “ it’s the perfect day to die ” “ it’s the perfect day to die, ‘cause this guy happened to be passing by ” “ to give you control of your soul ” “ to give you control of your soul for the whole being dead thing ”
DEAD MOM
“ hey [mom], dead [mom] ” “ hey [mom] ” “ i need a little help here ” “ i’m probably talking to myself here ” “ i gotta ask, are you really in the ground? ” “ i feel you all around me ” “ are you here? ” “ i’m tired of trying to iron out my creases ” “ i’m a bunch of broken pieces, it was you who made me whole ” “ i’m a bunch of broken pieces ” “ it was you who made me whole ” “ every day [dad’s] staring at me, like all “hurry up, get happy” ” “ move along ” “ forget about your [mom] ” “ [daddy’s] in denial, [daddy] doesn’t wanna feel ” “ [he] wants me to smile and clap like a performing seal ” “ ignored it for a whole, but [daddy’s] lost [his] mind for real ” “ you don’t believe the mess that we’ve become ” “ you’re my home, my destination ” “ i’m your clone, your strange creation ” “ you held my hand, and life came easy ” “ now jokes don’t land ” “ no one sees me ” “ nothing seems to fit ” “ are you receiving? ” “ i want something to believe in ” “ take me where my soul can run ” “ i’ll be in my bedroom, wake me when i’m twenty one ” “ won’t you send a sign? ” “ i’m running out of hope and time ” “ a plague of mice, a lightning strike, or drop a nuclear bomb ” “ no more playing [daddy’s] games ” “ i’ll go insane if things don’t change ” “ whatever it takes to make [him] say your name ”
FRIGHT OF THEIR LIVES
“ okay, listen up, i’m not gonna lie; right now you couldn’t frighten a fly ” “ you ever stop to ask yourselves why? ” “ both of you are super polite, middle class, suburban, and white ” “ well, all of that is finished tonight ” “ take your places ” “ i want scary faces, now go! ” “ bigger! ” “ further! ” “ harder! ” “ not bad! ” “ i want scary faces, now go! bigger! further! harder! – not bad! ” “ sever a head, preferably someone you know ” “ look at me, i’m so scary! ” “ don’t be so vanilla, would a little anger kill ya? ” “ c’mon drop your panties i’m trying to fill you – with wisdom and skill ” “ and the instinct to kill ” “ again, we do not want to kill anyone! ” “ fine, but somehow, someway, you gotta make ‘em see ya ” “ i’m talkin’ jumpscares, the jerky japanese ghost-walk ” “ learn how to throw your voice! – fool your friends! – fun at parties! ” “ now THAT is cool! i wanna do THAT! ” “ whatever it takes to make ‘em go crazy ” “ raising the stakes by punching a baby ” “ scare ‘em away till they break ” “ they’ll be quaking in fright ” “ you’ve got some evil deep down inside you ” “ put all the farmer’s markets behind you ” “ you’ve gotta work, gotta haunt till it hurts through the night ” “ give those guys the fright of their lives! ” “ let’s start with things that you hate ” “ hate’s a very strong word ” “ perhaps when people are late ” “ or getting pooped on by birds ” “ no, what fills you with rage? ” “ what fills you with rage? ” “ being mean to a pet ” “ chefs who use too much sage when they make beurre noisette ” “ over-glutinous food ” “ when kids call me dude ” “ oh, i find that so rude! ” “ well, there’s lots there to use ” “ take a deep death and give me your best primal scream ” “ [weak, lame scream] ” “ that was brilliant! ” “ try it again, maybe this time pretend like you mean it ” “ [lame scream but deeper] ” “ that was even better! ” “ i want freedom ” “ to get my freedom i need to get a living person to say my name ” “ i know that beggars can’t be choosers, but do they have to be such losers? ” “ both of them are deathly dull and lame ” “ why God slash Satan did you send these bed wetters? ” “ even, like, a tax attorney would’ve been better ” “ somebody with gravitas, somebody to fear ” “ excuse me, ___, we can kinda hear you ” “ yeah? well that was a soliloquy, so you’re the one who’s being rude ” “ turn all the lights on ” “ dress like a baby ” “ ___, i don’t even – no. ” “ get your heads in the game ” “ let’s hide their phones! ” “ screw their phones! ” “ ugh, these dopes are hopeless ” “ how will i ever survive? ” “ unless they get the fright of their lives ” “ yes, we’re feelin’ it! ” “ they gotta get the right of their lives ” “ we’re scary, very very scary! ” “ they’ll never get the fright of their lives ”
READY, SET (REPRISE)
“ that needy pervert was right ” “ if we want our house back, we have to fight for it ” “ how? no one can see us! ” “ we’re ghosts, damn it! let’s haunt this bitch! ” “ oblivion calls ” “ we might as well walk through some walls ” “ i’m sure we can haunt our own halls ” “ we’re ready as we’ll ever get ” “ i gotta get right outside my comfort zone ” “ we’ll rattle chains and, i don’t know, just wail and moan until they go ” “ ready, set let’s oooOOOoOooOooOo [ghost noises] ”
NO REASON
“ the universe is more than just space with no end ” [sung] “ la-la-la-la-la! ” “ just think of the universe as a female best friend ” “ hey, universe, what’s happening girl? ” “ oh nothing. just running the world ” “ you’re on the right track, [girl], i got your back, [girl] ” “ i’m helping you grow ” “ think positive, act positive, you are a child of the Earth! ” “ life coaching! nailing it! ” “ time to take command you dictate the hand the universe deals ” “ look, science makes no sense; who needs evidence? ” “ go with yours feels ” “ i’m like a radio tuned to the stars ” “ i found my frequency, crystals speak to me ” “ what are they saying? ” “ buy more crystals ” “ everything, EVERYTHING, happens for a reason ” “ be a beacon of light in the world, put a little alright in the world ” “ there are spiritual guides above, look up and see ‘em ” “ perception is reality ” “ just listen to the melody the universe sings ” “ everything happens for a reason ” “ gee, i hate to break it to you: the universe is just the contents of time, matter and space ” “ ninety-one billion light-years across and the Earth’s a small place ” “ good people die in famine and wars ” “ the pacific islands are sinking, but negative thinking is hardly the cause ” “ you think life is all unicorns and rainbows ‘cause you’re bored ” “ positivity is a luxury that few can afford ” “ we’re gonna die, yes you and I, in meaningless and alone ” “ no no no! no! ” “ one day you may wake up alone ” “ your husband and his boyfriend bought a boat and then they sailed away to Rome ” “ that’s specific ” “ so you cry yourself to sleep in deep despair, talking to the walls ‘cause there’s no one there, and you have to buy a cat ‘cause that’s your last chance to have a family ” “ take it from me, your aging ass will have to believe that everything happens for a reason ” “ put some more fun in the world, a little “I AM STILL YOUNG” in the world ” “ be prepared to take your eggs and freeze ‘em ” “ is this still about me? ” “ sounds like terrible things can happen ” “ because the universe is random ” “ yes, but, random for a reason ” “ no reason ”
INVISIBLE (REPRISE)/ON THE ROOF
“ you’re invisible when you’re me ” “ there’s no one to see my truth ” “ if they could look up they’d see: hey! somebody’s on the roof! ” “ god, it’s mortifying, what’s the point of even trying? ” “ now i’m trapped with no escape ” “ banished! disavowed! i vanished like a cloud of dirty hipster vape ” “ i vanished like a cloud of dirty hipster vape ” “ nobody said life’s fair ” “ guess they will never see the demon who isn’t there ” “ whoa, what have we got here? ” “ by the time you read this, I, ___, will be gone ” “ there’s nothing for me here ” “ i’m alone, forsaken, invisible ” “ that makes two of us ” “ who the hell are you? ” “ can you… see me? ” “ yeah…? ” “ you can SEE me! ” “ I’M GONNA HAVE A NEW BEST FRIIIIIIEEEENND! ”
SAY MY NAME
“ you could use a buddy ” “ don’t you want a pal? ” “ yes i do! yes i do! ” “ the way i see, your [daddy] should be leaving and you should stick around! ” “ and kill him! ” “ … what? ” “ nothing! ” “ don’t end yourself, defend yourself ” “ [daddy] is the one you should maim ” “ together we’ll exterminate, assassinate! ” “ the finer points can wait ” “ first you gotta say my name! ” “ go ahead and jump but that won’t stop [him] ” “ here you got a solid plan B option ” “ i can bring your [daddy] so much pain ” “ all you gotta do is say my name ” “ just say it three times in a row ” “ you won’t believe how far i’ll go ” “ i’m in the bench, but coah, just put me in the game! ” “ i don’t know your name ” “ well, i can’t SAY it ” “ how ‘bout a game of charades? ” “ yes, let’s play it! ” “ close, but no ” “ wow, i’m impressed ” “ all you gotta do is say my name three times ” “ three times in a row it must be spoken, unbroken ” “ you’re so smart, a stand-up bro ” “ i’ll think about your offer, let you know ” “ i prefer my chances down below ” “ being young and [female] doesn’t mean that i’m an easy mark ” “ i’ve been swimming with piranhas, i don’t need a shark ” “ yes, life sucks, but not that much ” “ be a doll and spare the lecture ” “ i’m offering you a full-time specter! ” “ are you any good? ” “ you bet’cha! trust me, baby! ” “ really, it’s a flattering offer ” “ don’t you wanna see [dad] suffer? ” “ i think i’d rather just jump off ” “ i may be suicidal but ___, it’s not as if i’ve lost my mind ” “ so, playing hardball, huh? you are tougher than you look ” “ just wanna make sure i know who i’m working with. go any references? ” “ ___, there you are! ” “ get away from [her] ! ” “ this is a dangerously unstable individual ” “ ___ is sexy! ” “ ___ is smart! ” “ ___ is a graduate of Julliard! ” “ [he] can help, we found [him] on yelp ” “ our troubles all ended on the day that we befriended ” “ every word is the truth ” “ what the heck was that? ” “ so violating! ” “ there you go, kid, couple of five-star reviews ” “ that was possession ” “ any ghost can do that in less than one lesson ” “ pretty much any ghost’ll do, sure ” “ then, ___, what do i need you for? ” “ woah, woah, woah woah woah! hold up! ” “ hold up! i’m your pal! ” “ they’re sweet, but i’m a demon straight from hell ” “ i know, i went a little hard on the sell ” “ we’re BF-F-F-F’s forever! ” “ what? he was already dead ” “ we don’t need that demon ” “ together we can make a grown man weep ” “ we got a dinner date to keep ” “ okay, so what’s the plan? ” “ [he’s] gonna freak when we possess him ” “ i’ll lead that lamb to slaughter ” “ yeah, i got game! ” “ i’m gonna make [him] say my name ” “ not running away ”
DAY-O (THE BANANA BOAT SONG)/ACT I FINALE
“ what’s going on ___? are you alright? ” “ i don’t – i dont know what just happened ” “ ___? do you need to lie down? ” “ what is happening to me? ” “ work all night on a drink of rum ” “ daylight come and me wanna go home ” “ stack banana till the morning come ” “ wait, why aren’t you dancing? ” “ it’s like i told you, ___, this house is haunted, and the ghosts who live here want you OUT ” “ who wants bacon? ” “ no! no! i’m a vegan! ” “ shut up, you moron! don’t apologize, we’re gonna be RICH! ” “ a genuine haunted house? it’s a goldmine! ” “ these ghosts are gonna make us a fortune! ” “ no! you’re supposed to be scared! ” “ there’s one thing that can still stop [him] ” “ ___, no! you don’t know what’ll happen! ” “ i can’t keep living like this! ” “ oh boy, oh boy, oh boy, oh boy! i’m so glad you changed your mind! ” “ you are never gonna regret this! ” “ we are gonna make such a great team! ” “ give me just… one… more… ” “ it’s SHOWTIME! ” “ it’s our house now, kid! ” “ looks like we’re not invisible anymore! ”
<3 THIS POST FOR A SMALL STARTER!
yes dewey finn is autistic+adhd, no i do not take criticism
he does raptor hands, stomps, thrashes/twitches his head and arms, hits his hands together, and squeezes his eyes shut tightly!!
the whole ‘being dead’ thing
‘ let’s skip the tears ! ’ ‘ i can show you what comes next ! ’ ‘ –– dont be freaked ! ’ ‘ so just relax, you’ll be fine ! ’ ‘ you’re just gonna love the folks here. ’ ‘ time to face the brutal truth. ’ ‘ that’s the thing with life; no one makes it out alive ! ’ ‘ death just needs a little conversation. ’ ‘ i have mastered the art of tearing convention apart ! ’
ready, set ( not yet )
‘ i know to the untrained eye – it’s boring… ’ ‘ it’s fun ! ’ ‘ are you willing to take the next step ? ’ ‘ i’ll protect you with a mother’s embrace. ’ ‘ together, let’s leap off the cliff. ’ ‘ why rush ? ’ ‘ soon enough our hopes and our dreams’ll be crushed. ’ ‘ let’s add it to the list ! ’ ‘ the bathroom’s a disaster. ’
the whole ‘being dead’ thing ( reprise )
‘ that means that you should stick around. ’ ‘ lucky for you, i dropped by. ’ ‘ you seem nice ! ’ ‘ you can breathe easier. ’ ‘ just stick with me ! ’ ‘ i do it for the love of it ! ’ ‘ i think we’re a perfect fit. ’ ‘ come on, let’s make out a bit ! ’
𝑭𝑹𝑶𝑴 𝑻𝑯𝑬 𝑪𝑹𝑨𝑫𝑳𝑬 𝑻𝑶 𝑪𝑹𝑬𝑴𝑨𝑻𝑰𝑶𝑵, 𝑫𝑬𝑨𝑻𝑯 𝑱𝑼𝑺𝑻 𝑵𝑬𝑬𝑫𝑺 𝑨 𝑳𝑰𝑻𝑻𝑳𝑬 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐒𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍 ! 𝘽𝙀𝙀𝙏𝙇𝙀𝙅𝙐𝙄𝘾𝙀 𝘼𝙇𝙄𝙑𝙀! 𝘼𝙐 𝙋𝙀𝙉𝙉𝙀𝘿 𝘽𝙔 𝘽𝙀𝙓!