I Was Never As Bored With The Story Of This Game As The Whole "The Prisoner In The Cave" Chapter

I was never as bored with the story of this game as the whole "The Prisoner in the cave" chapter

Nightamre at green lake seems like such a banger event

oooooh I'm going to have so much fun

Fun fact: I made the Leonid & Getian one before reading his personal story so I didn't know how in-character that one is at the time.

One of my favorite things about Arthur and John’s weird relationship is their refusal to properly delegate.

In quite literally every other shared-body story in the history of mankind, working together in tandem with each other would be one of the very first things attempted.

Sure we have “ORTHUR, Jesus Christ orthur they’re dead. They’re all dead. FUCK orthur, it’s Thomas the Tank Engine. He’s staring at you orthur. There’s blood everywhere- WE NEED TO GO-“ etc etc, but that doesn’t count. They fail every single Quick Time event that crosses their path because sometimes John will deliver information, sometimes Arthur will make an action, and neither will happen at the same time.

They both act like they’re just standing very close to one another. They have the problem solving capabilities of two people losing a three legged race.

They are tasked with minding a lighthouse flame upon pain of mysterious and creepy monster-death and god forbid BOTH of them pitch in at the same time. Could you imagine either of them being that reasonable? Their hearts would give out under the strain.

Instead tweedlestupid with one hand and zero eyes minds the light while tweedlestupider with one hand and two eyes dedicates every sense available to the crusade of maintaining their back and forth pre/post/current divorce level bitching.

But even before that, the way they chose to tackle the feat of driving was as insane as it was hilarious. That’s when I knew they were incurable morons and deserved to be stitched together on the celestial plane for the rest of their arcane lives.

Tldr: You could merge the consciousness of any other two souls on this planet together and get a more immediately capable pair. That’s how you know they’re soulmates.

sometimes family is a man a woman and two children other times it's PI with a bleeding heart, the fractured soul of a god king, and eldritch amazon alexa

Magnus Archives headcanon: after Melanie learned that Elias could see through any depictions of eyes, she drew a lovingly rendered eye on a piece of printer paper and hung it up in the supply closet facing another piece of paper with the words "FUCK OFF ELIAS" in all caps written on it.

Elias keeps taking them down and she keeps putting them back up in new obscure spots around the archive every week