*dramatically Pops Out From Behind A Curtain Only To Trip Over Air *

*dramatically pops out from behind a curtain only to trip over ✨air✨ *

Hello.

Hi.

*awkward silence descends*

Oh wow, okay so even the crickets stopped chirping from this awkwardness.....

*dramatic clearing of throat*

This is a reminder!

*attempts a graceful ballerina twirl*

That you are amazing and no one can prove me wrong!!

*looks like a dying skunk attempting to dance*

And you!

*points at you, only to fall over mid twirl*

SON OF A *bleeeeeep bleep. beep. BEEEEEEEEEEP*

*another awkward throat clear*

Deserve to be happy <3

*pocket confetti!*

so remember to eat, drink water and do at least one thing that at least cheers you up!

*sparkle*

because everyone deserves to be happy!!

*hands you a envelope full of hearts and love*

and you deserve it the most of all!!

*one more sparkle*

*(not)gracefully exits behind the curtain*

*pocket confetti🎉*

(WHEEEEEEEEEEEE I hope this made your day a tad bit better lmao....)

Thank you anon haha, hope you are doing good and you have a good day!🥰❤️

This is so hilarious I love it !!!

✎ curiosity

- gojo satoru x reader

when gojo is found out by his own son during your nighttime activities

genre: 18+ suggestive content—minors do not interact! crack, fluff, dad!gojo

note: based on a fun suggestion by anon! and it’s been sooo long in my drafts🤧 anyways gojo in phantom parade game is so otome-coded, look at his innocent face!—that's how he's going to be while explaining this to his son

a part of gojo's love entries

series masterlist | oneshot masterlist

"Nghh—Satoru... ah!" you mewled, breathless, right after the third time he made you cum on his fingers alone.

Gods, even with one kid already running around, Satoru never stopped acting like he desired you like when you were still newlyweds. The glint in his eyes never dulled—always smirking at you as if you were the prey, as he licked his fingers with a wicked smile.

"Ah, sweets, are you ready to take me in now?" he cooed in your ear. Really, he was at his limit, seeing how he brought pleasure to you as you writhed under him made him this close to becoming undone too.

With your nod of approval, he wasted no time. He gripped your hips, and swiftly slid his thick cock between your folds. As he sank into you—making himself fit, you accidentally let out a loud moan.

“So pretty,” Satoru groaned through clenched teeth, marveling at your scrunched face, feeling how your legs wrapped around his waist in compliance. “Still so tight for me...”

And the way you squeezed your eyes shut right before he started to pound into you made him finally lose it, as he hotly grunted in that raw, almost feral voice—

“All mine.”

With each thrust, you quite literally squealed. Seems like you were sensitive at this time of the month, because your senses were heightened and you couldn't help the nasty moans leaving your lips. The sensation of him repeatedly slamming his hips against you turned you into a crying mess, and had you totally forgetting that your toddler was sleeping just next door.

And when his climax exploded within you with one last powerful thrust, his hot cum spurting hard, stuffing you to the brim and painting your womb white— you clawed at him, tugged him closer to your breasts as a mix of scream and moan of his name escaped your lips, trembling at the depth to which he was burying himself inside you.

You were panting, totally spent, sensing the familiar way of his cum trickling down your thighs. And at that moment, you could have sworn you heard the patter of footsteps nearby. Before you could fully register it, Satoru hastily pulled the blanket to cover you both.

Suddenly, your bedroom's door swung open, revealing your precious boy standing there, visibly sleepy but worried. "Mama?"

You muttered your son's name weakly, disoriented, and it only served to worry him further. His little eyes widened, and he took a step—

"No, no, kiddo!" Satoru urged in a panic. "Stay there! Don't move!"

His son eyed him suspiciously. "What are you doing? Why are you crushing mama?"

"I—" Satoru collected himself, and put on the most innocent smile. "I'm... helping mama to sleep, you see."

You went pale, now that you realized the situation you were in. Your son had just seen you and your husband in the middle of the act. You were silently grateful for Satoru's quick thinking for covering both of you to spare your son from the indecency.

"Helping?" your son gaped in disbelief. "But she was just crying!"

"Yeah, she cried because she couldn't sleep," Satoru blurted, still smiling benevolently like he hadn't nothing wrong. You felt the urge to facepalm at his terrible excuse and the irony of the situation—how close he was to collapsing beside you, and that he hadn't even pulled out of you yet.

Your intelligent boy wasn't easily convinced, that was what you would expect of him.

"How's you hovering over her will help her sleep?"

“With this position, she'll sleep more comfortably, you know,” he asserted confidently, prompting a subtle twitch in your eye. He turned to you, a stupid grin on his face. “And who knows, it might also help to make your sibling. Isn’t it true, dear?”

Satoru nudged your side, willing you to agree with him. You were in utter shock and shot him a dark glare, before looking at your distraught son in a flurry. “Y-yeah… I’m fine, baby. Go back to your room now.”

“You're not hurting, Mama?” the little boy asked you worriedly. Thank heavens he was more focused on you rather than Satoru's little comment.

“No. Your papa is just… trying to help. I’m okay, yeah?”

“If you say so…” your son pouted reluctantly. He shifted his gaze on his father and 'hmph'-ed in accusation. “You’re weird.”

"Hey!" Satoru exclaimed, comically offended. "What are you doing here, anyway? Can't you sleep?"

“I heard noises... and now I want to go to the bathroom…”

Your husband grunted. "Fine, I'll come with you. Just wait a moment and close the door, please?"

Your son threw one last concerned glance at you before shutting the door. Both of you let out collective sighs of relief.

“I swear, he’s such a brat. He used to be so lovable too,” Satoru grumbled under his breath, finally slipping out of you and rolled to your side. He playfully tapped your lower belly and winked. “I hope it’s a daughter next. She will surely be daddy's girl.”

Your body was still shivering as a result of your high earlier, and yet you still managed to side-eye him, hissing, “I'm going to kill you, Gojo Satoru.”

“Wha—”

“Sleep more comfortably? A sibling?”

“Well, can’t we just say that we’re going to give him—”

“Satoru, don’t you put more weird ideas in our son’s head.”

“But—!”

“The moment you do, and if I catch you, I swear to God, I'm banishing you from our bed.”

Epilogue

“Uncle Nanami… does sleeping in certain position will give me a sibling?”

Nanami almost choked on his own words. “What?”

On this rather fine day, he had agreed to help you keep an eye on your child, as both you and Satoru went on separate missions.

He might not be able to stand his senior, but Nanami couldn’t deny that he had a soft spot for the toddler even if he was a carbon copy of his father, as the boy was sweet and overall more like you in nature.

Your son blinked at him curiously. “Papa said not to tell this to mama, but when I asked, he was actually trying to give me a brother or sister to play with when he squished mama on the bed the other day.”

Nanami felt a vein about to burst at the very implication. In hindsight, he shouldn’t be surprised at Gojo Satoru’s unrefined parenting skills but then again, anything that annoying clown did always managed to surprise him one way or another. He let out a long sigh.

“Kid, forget what your father said.”

“Huh? Is that not true then?”

“Report this to your mother, yeah? Ask her too, she will have better answers for you.”

"Hello everyone, I’m going ta do a -" The young Miya chef starts to speak into a video camera, his black shirt carrying his restaurant logo over his right pec muscle. His black messy hair looks like he just rolled out of bed ten minutes ago, which he secretly did because Atsumu has shown up at seven in the goddamn morning to remind Osamu of the bet that the younger twin has lost only a month ago.

The Miya twins challenged each other to do the Chubby Bunny challenge and when Osamu was about to win, you came running into the living room in just a towel because you saw a cockroach on the bathroom wall and didn't know that Atsumu came over while you were in the shower. The chef almost choked on the marshmallows when he saw you in a single towel, causing Atsumu to shriek in victory with his mouth full of marshmallows as well. In the end, you had to do the Heimlich manoeuvre on both of them.

Since it’s off-season for the professional volleyball player, he has nothing better to do than bother his younger brother and Osamu‘s pretty partner on a regular Saturday morning.

"You’re not even going to introduce yourself?" You interrupt him with a little laugh behind the counter with the video camera, where you are seated next to Atsumu so you can film your boyfriend.

"I’m Osamu Miya and today-" The ravenette starts again.

"Ya forgot ta mention the great Atsumu Miya's twin brother-" Atsumu adds cheekily, interrupting him yet again.

Osamu can’t stop the highly aggravated sigh escaping from him, and he sends his brother a death glare behind the camera.

“ANYWAY- I am going ta show ya’ll how ta make a simple deep fired shrimp onigiri. Joinin' me today is my beautiful assistant an' partner-in-crime, (Y/N)." The grey-eyed twin looks behind the camera where you are seated.

You look up with a surprised face, clearly not expecting to be helping your boyfriend.

Scooching off the bar stool in front of the counter, you hop down and make your way with slow steps to Osamu who watches you with adoration and fondness in his gray eyes.

"What’s the first step?" You ask excited, almost hopping up and down like an excited puppy.

Osamu gives you one of his rare breathtaking smiles, feeling his heart speed up by the happiness on your face.

"Well first, we need ta make sure we got all the ingredients for makin' this." The black-haired chef explains while the camera zooms out a bit and the viewer is able to see the laid out ingredients for making the dish.

Osamu points to each ingredient, explaining what it is, what you need it for and how much you need of it.

"Looks like we got everythin'. Ya ready?" Osamu leans on the counter as he watches you with a grin.

"Yes, chef." You giggle and roll up your sleeves on your hoodie.

You can hear Atsumu gag behind the camera as he hears your flirting.

"Alright. First, yer gonna crack an egg in a bowl an' whisk it, afterwards yer gonna add the flour an' the cold water. Mix all together. Add some spices so it’s not completely flavorless. Ya followin' so far?" Osamu raises his dark eyebrow as he asks you.

You do as he says, nodding in confirmation.

"Good. Now yer gonna put that off ta the side an' grab the other bowl with the flour innit an' put the shrimp in there."

Grabbing the already peeled shrimp out of the fridge, you dump them in the flour and mix it together, making sure that there are no bare parts left on the shrimp.

"Now what?"

"Now yer gonna dip the shrimp in da batter, hold it by its tail and then dunk it a few times in there. I already prepared da fryin' oil pot but I don’t wantcha ta hurt yerself so please let me do the fryin'." Osamu looks at you with his stunning ash-grey eyes and every time he looks at you with those eyes, it makes you weak in the knees, so all you do is stare at him with big eyes and nod your head.

The chef chuckles at your reaction and those chuckles send shivers down your spine.

"(Y/N), yer startin' ta drool over mah brother. Try ta tame yer thoughts please, I can hear them from here." Atsumu teases you with a mischievous grin.

Feeling your face heat up a thousand degrees, you watch as your boyfriend skillfully puts the shrimp in the frying pot, turning them over occasionally because taking them out to put them on a drying tray.

"Leave mah girl outta this. She just knows that I am a lot hotter than you." Osamu explains as he finishes the last bit of frying the shrimp.

"Yannow, if I'd known ya would be disgustin' like this, I would have stayed at home." Atsumu scrunches up his face.

"Door's right over there." Osamu mentions his head towards his front door, clearly not bothered and more than happy to have some alone time with you.

Atsumu pouts and slumps over the counter.

"(Y/N) do something. Yer ass of a boyfriend wants to kick me out." The Setter looks at you for help, giving you those brown puppy eyes.

Curse twins and their equally good looks.

"We still need Atsumu for making the video. And he can clean up afterwards since we are both cooking." You grin up at the younger twin.

"I ain’t cleanin' shit."

"He’s not gettin' anywhere near my damn kitchen."

The twins say in sync.

You laugh at their words, setting the already cooked sticky rice on the counter next to the shrimp, along with the seaweed strips, salt, water and boiled sauce for dipping the cooked shrimp in, before putting it into the rice onigiri.

The restaurant owner shows you how it’s done step by step, being slow with his movements, so you know how it’s done.

During the trying to copy his movements, the blonde excused himself to use the restroom and Osamu uses the chance to get closer to you.

He stands behind you, putting his giant hand over yours to help you shape the onigiri. He does it on a daily basis and you’re so happy that you are his and he is yours only.

"Try doin' it yerself." The dark-haired man whispers in your ear, sending shivers all over your body and getting goosebumps by his dark voice.

You feel his strong heartbeat against your back and your breathing picks up a bit. Leaning his head next to yours on your shoulder, you feel his smile against your cheek as he watches you try to shape the next onigiri by yourself.

Holding the somewhat triangular-shaped onigiri (it’s more heart shaped actually), you present it to him with an unsure look.

All of sudden, Osamu took a large bite out of it, getting some rice on his lips, shocking you a little bit even though you should have seen this coming, this is Osamu Miya after all.

Humming in bliss, your lover swallows the food before giving you a flirtatious look, turning you around so you’re standing face-to-face.

"Compliments to the chef."

Smiling in delight, the ravenette places a smooth and loving kiss onto your lips, pulling you closer to his body.

You forget the world around you, it’s just you and Osamu. And nothing else matters.

Giggling like a lovesick teen, you intertwine your hands with your husband Osamu Miya, as you try to walk up the path that leads to your house.

The black-haired man just shakes his head with a smile at your silly antics, happy to be home after you just came back from a much needed date night, leaving Atsumu in charge to watch your triplets.

As soon as you enter your suspiciously dark house, you flip on the lights and hear a mix between a hiss and a groan.

You and Osamu look at each other and make the way to the living room where you find the babysitter.

You frown in confusion when you spot your brother-in-law, Atsumu Miya just waking up apparently from his nap on your living room couch, the TV still running on a random show he probably fell asleep to.

As soon as the blonde spots you, he stretches on the couch and greets you.

"Hey (Y/N), hey bro. How was date night?" The Setter gets up, stretches some more and makes his way over to you.

"Pretty good. Food was fantastic and wine amazing. How were the little troublemakers?" Osamu asks in return, taking off his jacket and hanging it up over the coat rack.

When Osamu talks to his brother, you’re making your way up the stairs, opening the room slowly to make sure your children are sleeping.

The door opens wider and you expected to hear quiet snores.

You don’t.

Turning on the lights, just to see all three beds empty, you feel your anxiety and fear taking over in your brain.

You hope this is just a bad dream, a nightmare.

There is just no way that Atsumu seriously lost your kids.

Walking down the stairs carefully, each step feels heavy and there’s a silent storm raging inside of you.

"Atsumu." You stand in the entryway of the living room again and Osamu frowns in concern at your panicked expression.

"Hmm?" He puts on his jacket as he turns to you.

"Where are the triplets?" You ask with a hint of fear.

"In bed? As they should? I put 'em down myself." Atsumu states like it should be super obvious.

You try to breathe slowly as your panic starts to settle in, while Osamu comes over to you to hold you.

"I just went to check on them. All three beds are empty. I couldn’t find them anywhere upstairs." You’re completely sober now, panic rushing in like a speed train as you tell Osamu about what you discovered upstairs.

"What?!" The twins say synchronized, both voices filled with panic.

"Keisuke? Kaito? Kaori?" Osamu calls out for your children, looking around everywhere, along with you and Atsumu.

Around ten minutes later, the three of you still haven’t found them. And you’re ready to call the police.

You already have your phone in your hand, pacing around and the number dialed ready when you hear Atsumu and Osamu in a very heated argument.

"Ya seriously couldn’t stay up til we're back?! It’s barely 9 pm!" Osamu begins to yell, when he sees your scared expression and your pacing, he stops his loud voice and quickly comes to your side to calm you down.

"Baby? It’ll be okay. 'M sure they’re okay, I already called sum of mah old teammates they are looking for them." He brushes away some of your incoming tears and his heart breaks at the sight. He can murder his brother later, right now all he should focus on is you and your three missing rascals.

Before your panic attack AND heart attack begin to grow even more, the front door opens and the eldest of the triplets walks in, Kaito looking extremely guilty. Two more familiar faces follow, Keisuke looking extremely tired and one very happy Kaori as she holds the hand of none other than Shinsuke Kita.

"I found them outside on my way home. They were hungry and went to the store down the street." Kita explains calmly as he looks at you and the adult twins.

He looks concerned at yours and Osamu’s expressions, lastly looking at the blonde twin who looks as guilty as his nephew.

When your children see you in your distressed state, they rush over to you. You hug them in a tight embrace, crying with relief that your babies are okay and unharmed.

With one last scolding look to Atsumu, who freezes in fear, Kita leaves your house.

You have calmed down and Osamu breathes out a big sigh of relief and talks to his children in a quiet yet firm voice.

"Up to bed, you three. Mum and I will be up in a few minutes. We need to have a few words with yer uncle."

As soon as Osamu and you see the three figures vanish from his sight, he turns to his twin, fury burning in his eyes.

"Yer officially scratched off the babysitter list." Osamu growls at his brother.

"WHAT? Oh come on! It was just one little mistake! I have been watchin' 'em since they were this big and nothing ever happened!" Atsumu forms his hands into a cat-like-size round shape as he tries to justify himself.

"Ya were sleepin' instead of watchin'! They are only 6!" Osamu steps closer to his twin and you begin to fear that your husband is about to commit fratricide.

"Okay let’s all calm down." You managed to calm down a bit and now it’s time to calm the situation down in general.

"Don’t tell me ta calm down! I am about to murder this asshole!" Osamu sees red as he charges for his brother and you move yourself in between them, protecting Atsumu even though he fairly deserves the beat up of his twin brother.

"Samu. They’re okay. That’s all that matters." You stand your ground even though your husband is fairly much taller than you.

Osamu keeps his furious gaze on his twin and you stay in front of him, not standing down.

"Atsumu, go home. We’ll talk about this another time." You tell the blonde and he doesn’t fight you on it, just leaves in a hurry and is soon out of the door.

Osamu paces back and forth, running his fingers through his raven hair repeatedly.

"Samu."

He doesn’t stop pacing but he stopped running his fingers through his hair.

"Osamu." The chef finally stops and looks at you and you’re shocked to see tears in his eyes. Whether it’s out of relief or anger, you don’t know.

Last time he cried was when you were in labor, having a complicated birth due to having a risky pregnancy by carrying the triplets.

"They are okay. No one was harmed, and Kita found them. They are home with us, calm down my love." You press your forehead against his and the former Wing Spiker shudders at the action, holding you tightly against him and he feels himself relaxing at the sound of your voice and your warm embrace.

"But what if he hadn’t found them? What if someone kidnapped them, or they got lost? Or-" He rambles on, tears running down his cheeks that you wipe away with a cautious but tender touch, as he did for you earlier.

"It’s okay, they’re okay. They’re kids, Samu. They will make mistakes in the future and we’re going to help them. To realize those mistakes and be there for them. Let's have a talk with them now and go to bed. It’s been a stressful evening and all of us now need the rest." You smooth out his messy hair, giving him an encouraging smile.

Osamu returns your smile slightly and agrees with you.

A little bit later after a talk with your children, Osamu lays on your shared bed, eyes open as you sleep deeply.

Kaori, Keisuke and Kaito sleep in between the two of you, spread out like star fish. Kaito is physically closest to his father and the young boy with the same dark black hair as his father cuddles closer to his chest, a happy sigh escaping his little mouth with a smile.

Osamu's heart warms at the action of his son, pulling him closer to let out a happy sigh himself and finally falls asleep with his family of five in bed, a smile resting on his face as well.

Osamu walks out of Physics class, happy that his classes are over and all that is left is volleyball practice.

He walks down the familiar path towards his twin brother’s class, basically collecting him on the way to the gym hall.

When he gets closer, he hears multiple sounds of something banging against the lockers and when he gets closer to the noise, he squints his eyes before they widen in shock at the sight of Atsumu Miya, second-year high school Setter of the Inarizaki volleyball club banging his forehead constantly against his locker door.

Now, he has two options.

One, move along and pretend he didn’t see any of this and make it to practice on time without his brother. But the big downside is that Atsumu would probably be late for practice if Osamu doesn’t say anything to him, which will end up in Osamu getting an earful from their mother later on at home.

Or option number two, ask what Atsumu’s deal is and hopefully they both still make it on time for practice.

Since Osamu doesn’t want to get yelled at later on by their mother, he begrudgingly chooses option two.

"Tsumu, if ya keep smashin' yer head against the locker, yer gonna lose the two braincells ya have left." Osamu says when he walks closer to his brother.

For a split second, Atsumu looks at his brother through his peripheral vision with a pissed look and then continues to bang his head against the locker.

'Wow, not even a comeback.' Osamu thinks while he continues to watch him.

"Stop it." Osamu barks as he is getting annoyed by the noise.

"'M tryin' ta forget bout earlier. Ya remember (Y/N)?" Atsumu stops and just leans his forehead against his locker door, a sorrow expression rests on his face.

Osamu frowns in confusion and looks to the ceiling for a second before returning his gaze back to his twin.

"Ya mean (Y/L/N) (Y/F/N)? The one that shared her lunch with ya and ya sweared ya tasted heaven?" Osamu raises a brow.

"Yes." Atsumu confirms.

"What about her?" Osamu doesn’t get it, if Atsumu looks so miserable, surely something devastating must have happened.

"I wanted ta confess my feelings ta her, so I made her favorite dessert and when I went ta see her, yannow what I saw?"

"What?" Osamu sighs.

"She was talkin' ta Riseki!"

"Is she suddenly not allowed ta talk ta other people besides ya? Tsumu I don’t know if yer brain registered it yet but this is a high school. There’s more people than ya she can talk to. And so what if Riseki was talkin' ta her? What’s the big deal?!" Osamu is getting impatient since he doesn’t understand Atsumu‘s point of view.

"That’s not the point dipshit! Riseki asked her out and she said no because she said she is in love with another guy." Atsumu almost wails.

"And?… Does your story have an ending or is this it?"

"Be patient asshole, I was gettin' there. So after I heard that, I was devastated….an' I didn’t realize (Y/N) came outta the room seconds afterwards an' I was so mad that I squished the dessert outta anger. She was confused an' asked if I was alright and I replied 'Shouldn’t ya ask yer crush?' and then I just left!" The Setter explains and gets angrier by the second, talking to his long-time crush in such a tone was just childish and rude as hell. You didn’t deserve that at all but Atsumu just felt his heart shatter at that moment, so he was angry and let it out on you. Now he is just highly disappointed in himself on how disrespectfully he talked to you.

On the inside, Osamu facepalms himself at the sheer stupidity of his brother‘s unawareness of your affection towards the blonde.

The signs are all there that you like Atsumu and vice versa but of course something complicated like the shit Atsumu pulled just pulled moments prior ruined his chance of confessing his feelings towards you.

"Well, (Y/N) finally talked ta ya. That’s sorta awesome."

"No Samu! Not 'awesome'! I ruined ma only chance at talkin' ta (Y/N) and I ruined it. RUINED IT!" Atsumu slams his head against the locker and the whole locker clutters by the force of it.

Osamu can’t help but feel bad for his brother, knowing Atsumu has been having a crush on you since the first year of high school.

Students who pass them are giving them weird looks but the gray-haired twin is not fazed by it.

"Tsumu, yer startin' ta get looks. Quit yer dramatic act and move alon'. There’s pleny of fish in da sea."

The Setter was quiet for a few seconds and Osamu was quite worried Atsumu got a concussion from all that banging of his forehead against the locker.

But then he speaks again, in a voice so sad and soft, it sounds like Atsumu is truly heartbroken.

"But I don’ wan' other fish. I want (Y/N)." He is actually getting teary-eyed.

Osamu gives out a big annoyed sigh and knows he is already regretting his words.

"Want me ta help ya win (Y/N) over?"

Atsumu whips his head in his brother’s direction, a hopeful gleam in his hazel-brown eyes.

"Yer not screwin' with me?"

"No. Twin promise, cross my heart and all that shit. Come on, let’s find (Y/N)." Osamu starts to move to the gym for volleyball practice and he hears a locker door shut and a rushing steps of feet follow him.

A/N: You guys want a part 2?😊

Here’s part 2