From InspiroBot

from InspiroBot

Incorrect sayings that I use so often I’ve almost forgotten that they’re not the originals:

I have bigger fish to fight

We’ll burn that bridge when we get to it

You can lead a horse to water, but if you drown it you have to walk home

Opening a can of whales

You made your bed, now shit in it

Combining the latter two into the phrase “you opened this can of whales, now lie in it”

Note to self do not leave pens in the car in arizona i gUESS????

"people show their true colours in life threatening situations" no, they show you what they act like when they're mortally terrified, an emotion notorious for literally turning your entire brain off to the point where people who go into those situations as a profession need to be literally trained on how to not have that happen

yeah joe mama is fun and all, but have y’all ever heard about a henway?

ah shit they're gaining on us. we gotta jettison some weight. throw all those stolen boomerangs out we don't need em