
Elder phannie. 38. USA. phanfic author. They're not very good but it's a creative outlet and my therapist said I need those
111 posts
Idk If Anyone Is Also A Try Guys Fan, But I Saw They Are Also Having Their 10th Birthday Today. So Weird
Idk if anyone is also a try guys fan, but I saw they are also having their 10th birthday today. So weird that two huge youtube brands started on exactly the same day 10 years ago.
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More Posts from Scuddleduck


none of the words i want to say are in the bible
Phanfic Poem
- Writing exercise by me -
- Written off of the song Zombie Girl by Adrianne Lenker - (Asterisked lines are lines from the song)
- Non explicit -
- 2009 Skype and Twitter yearning vibes - (Ambiguous POV)
- Inspired by this tweet -

My first public fic(ish) hehe. Enjoy :D
——————————————
What a dream that was*
I saw you standing and my breath was stolen
My chest went concave
I slowly stepped forward and you took my hand in yours
Bliss in nervousness bloomed from us both
Things new and old
Things carved into my brain
And then you were gone
Why couldn’t you stay?
Why couldn’t I stay?
Why couldn’t we stay?
I lay wondering
I almost couldn't wake because*
I was frozen in bed with a zombie boy*
A shell of what was just right there
Vacant as a closed down fair*
With my eyes shut and my mind wide open
I dream of you
I dream of what was in my grasp
So tightly held
Then torn away
Sleep paralysis, I sworn I could've felt you there*
I reached out to stroke your cheek, your nose, your heart
And I almost could've kissed your hair*
But the emptiness withdrew me*
From any kind of wishful prayer*
I crumble as I revert
To dreaming
Always there
Where are you? Why not here?
Oh, emptiness*
What are you? Why not mine?
Tell me 'bout your nature*
And I will listen
Clearly, softly, as loud as you want,
Just say so
Maybe I've been getting you wrong*
What is beneath your mask?
What may I never discover?
What is not for me?
I cover you with questions*
And you return
I release a sigh as you return
Cover you with explanations*
Too much, too young, too fast
Am I changing?
Your smile stops my thoughts in their tracks
Im back
Cover you with music*
Then the next night*
We do it again
I wish to escape this vicious cycle
I want to exit this crushing orbit
The closer I reach, the harder I fall back
When you are next to me no more
Dreaming I could feel your skin*
Next to mine
So soon
But is it?
I can only dream
But the dream escaped so easily*
And I wokе up to the road again*
I open my eyes and still I’m dreaming
Painting a portrait of my love in front of me
I can almost hear you
How your words ring through*
Something kinda sweet and blue*
Perhaps its not real
But perhaps we can hope
Messages back and forth
May not be forever
Am I crazy to dream so wildly?
Do you feel the same?
And I knеw that you'd been understanding*
Everything that I'd said, too*
It will happen one day
I know it will
But until then
What do we do?
I tell you about my dreams
About emptiness*
And I can feel your ache through the screen
Your sharp pain of empathy
Tell me 'bout your nature*
Maybe I've been getting you wrong*
What can I do to soothe your pain?
I cover you with questions*
Cover you with explanations*
Cover you with music*
What's on your mind?*
What's on your mind?*
What's on your mind?*
What's on your mind?*

Can he wear this whole outfit again please?
yall... i relapsed last night... on explicit rpf....