seokjins-luigi - inside, I saw myself
inside, I saw myself

amanda. she/her. 25 yo. brazilian. ot7 biased, namjin utted. requests are closed. m.list

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Just Say Goodnight N Go | Chapter 05

just say goodnight n go | chapter 05

Just Say Goodnight N Go | Chapter 05

pairing ↠ jin x reader, fuckboy!jungkook x reader

genre ↠ college au | love triangle | strangers to lovers | slow burn | fluff, angst, smut | multi-chapter

word count ↠ 7.3k

18+ | warnings ↠ grivieng character and swearing.

summary ↠ when your mother passes away, you go back to your college student life, only to find out the guy you liked (and were friends with benefits with) had a girlfriend now. trying to get over him and your mother’s passing, seokjin, the friend of a friend wants you to give him a chance. will you find your way back to yourself?

A/N  ↠ I'm so happy to finally write this part, I've been thinking about it for months, I just hope you enjoy it as much as I've enjoyed writing it kjsdhakhudahs I did my best to finish it on time so I could post something special on our boy's birthday. things are starting to change, I reaaaaaally hope you like it, I should probably warn you THERE'LL BE SOME HEAVY CHEESINESS AHEAD !! I'm cheesy.

as always, I want to thank @primadonnasdream for helping me and for being my best friend 💜 this would probably look a lot worse if it wasn't for her lol

let me know what you think of this Seokjin's birthday special chapter, your feedback is what drives me to write 💜 and also here’s a playlist for you to listen while you read :)

taglist ♡ @annoyingtimemachinee @bri-mal @yuugehn @mwitsmejk

if you'd like to be add to the taglist, let me know 💜

Just Say Goodnight N Go | Chapter 05

⋘ Ch 04

Just Say Goodnight N Go | Chapter 05

You spent the entire night almost biting your nails off thinking about this pseudo trip you’d go on with Jin. Will it be awkward? Will it be filled with endless hours of uncomfortable silence? What if someone finds out? What if Jungkook finds out? When you think about it, you don’t really know why you agreed on going. To say you feel extremely anxious about this feels like an understatement.

On top of that, Eunjoo’s words kept replaying in your mind the entire night. “You’ve fallen in love with him and he knows it, but he doesn’t care. You can’t fix this and, most importantly, you can’t fix him! You can’t keep on hurting yourself to please him either. This has gone way too long”. Have you and Jungkook really been a “way too long” kind of thing? Are you really messing things up by not letting him go? But then again, he is the one that comes and looks for you in the first place. Why do you have to be the one that feels guilty?

You laid on your bed and zoned out, sinking deep into all of those questions, not really finding satisfying answers to any of them. When you realized the sunlight was already creeping in through the curtains. It was time to get ready to set off, Jin told you he wanted to leave as soon as the Sun rised, since it would take you a considerable amount of time to get there by car and boat.

Namjoon had left to his non-girlfriend last night. Close to the doorknob you’ve found a green post-it and you recognize his handwriting instantly. It said: “Please, text me tomorrow before you leave and then again when you get there. Have fun. Also, be responsible. Love you. PS: if you want to come home earlier call me and I’ll come pick you up - NJ”. You do as he says and you also text Eunjoo and Jimin, so when they wake up, they won’t worry about your whereabouts. Yes, you’re a very thoughtful friend and sister. Your phone vibrates in your hands with an incoming text from Jin.

jin [6:07 am]: here

You [6:07 am]: okie

jin [6:07 am]: ready?

You [6:07 am]: yup

You [6:07 am]: i’ll be downstairs in a second

You double-check if everything’s in order, because living with Kim Namjoon teaches you to never trust blindly on his judgment when it comes to… Well, taking care of things. As you had foreseen, he left his bedroom lights on. Not to mention his room was a mess, but that’s entirely his problem.

With everything in order, you leave.

You see a silver SUV parked right in front of your place. You assume it’s Jin’s car. You had no idea Jin had such a nice car, it surely surprises you. As you get closer, the car windows slide down open and you see an already spirited Seokjin, smiling at you. Even though you are sleepy, it’s hard to resist the urge to smile back at him.

“Good morning, sunshine!” He greets you with a gentle voice. “All set?”

“Morning, Jinie. I’m still a bit sleepy...” You lean on the car door as you speak.

“Yeah, I could tell by the way you walked here”, he laughs. “Let me put your bags in the trunk and we can set off”.

He gets out of the car and comes closer to you. He leans in and kisses your forehead, his plump warm lips like feathertouch against your skin. You had to stop yourself from wrapping your hands around his neck, it was like your body was automatically responding to his touches. You blame your sleepy brain mode, surely. Before you could react to the good morning kiss, his hands were on yours, also warm and gentle, his fingers almost asking you to excuse him, as he took your bags from your grasp.

“You can take your seat, babygirl, this will take less than a second”, he suggests kindly.

You do as he says, too sleepy to offer him your help or anything of that sort. His car is as big inside as it is on the outside, the seats are upholstered with a probably very expensive light brown kind of leather and they were extremely comfortable. Jin left the air conditioning on, so it was pretty cozy inside.

Without much delay, Seokjin was already back on his seat, with the wheel in his hands.

“Uh- So, do you want to listen to some specific kind of music? My phone is here in the center console”, he points with his hand, eyes on the road. “The password is my birthday. One, two, zero, four. Put on whatever you like”.

“Of course not, you’re driving! You have the right to listen to your own music while driving and shotgun has the right to shut their cakehole”.

“Jeez, I’d never call that pretty little mouth of yours of a cakehole”, he answered with a naughty smirk.

It feels like all the blood in your veins head straight towards your cheeks and you feel them burning hot. You are probably looking like a goddman enormous tomato right now. Why does he have to do this to you?

You simply reach for his phone in the console and start exploring his Spotify playlists, almost hiding behind your hands, in hopes of not letting Jin notice you’re blushing like a schoolgirl.

“Oh, Jinie, you do have a car playlist already, this one is fine by me”, you try.

“Yeah, this is 80% Yoongs’ picks, but it’s good. He’s got good taste. But I want you to feel comfortable to change it if you don't feel like listening to them, ok?” He glances over to you, with a reassuring expression.

Honestly, this guy...

“It’s ok, my brother never allows me to touch the radio when he’s driving”, you press play and Allergic by Post Malone starts. “This one’s good”.

You look out the window, contemplating the meek morning sunlight bathing the city in shades of golden. You’re not the fall’s biggest enthusiast, but even you had to admit that very few things in the world could top fall mornings. Maybe only the night starry sky in the summer and a very pleasing winter afternoon.

You look over to Seokjin and see that the sun is also painting his features in a golden tone. You notice his almost white hair looks even more striking in this light, as if his locks were made out of the purest gold on this Earth. He distractedly hums along with the song, tapping his fingers lightly against the wheel. Being with him was so easy, his presence somehow has a magical aura that makes you feel automatically relaxed and safe.

You realize that all of the worries that kept you awake last night were extremely silly. There was no way this weekend was going to be anything less than perfect.

“Do you, uh- mind if I take a nap?”

“Of course not, babygirl! There’s a pillow in the backseat, d’ya want it?”

You look behind your seat and see it along with his backpack and a folded baby blue blanket.

“I brought it for you”, he hesitates. “In case you got cold or something”.

It was for you. He brought it for you. In case you wanted to nap and in case you got cold. Wow. You don’t know what to say. This is the type of thing absolutely no one thinks about before a road trip. But he did. He thought about it. He thought about your needs. He didn't even ask. He just did it.

“Wow! Thanks, Jinie… I don't know what to say. That’s so sweet”.

“Nah! It’s nothing”, he states, with a soft laugh and you notice his ear getting a soft reddish tone.

But you know it is. Something in your chest feels funny again. You try to ignore it, reaching for the pillow in the backseat, but the only thing on your mind right now was Seokjin.

Seokjin.

Seokjin.

You knew it was no use trying to pretend otherwise. You closed your eyes and allowed the tiredness from a sleepless night to take over you. And of course, when you finally drift off to sleep, you dream about him.

Just Say Goodnight N Go | Chapter 05

Opulent. That's the first word that comes to your mind when you walk into the Kim’s beach house. It’s a two-story house, built in the most modern style you have ever seen. It literally looked like a celebrity house, just like the ones you see in magazines. You stood at the large living room in awe, as you looked at the very luxurious surroundings. The afternoon sunlight kissed gently the furniture, creeping in through the glass walls that adorned the ambient. You could hardly believe your eyes when you saw it. You had to control yourself, so you wouldn’t give away to Seokjin that you were completely shocked by how amazing the place is. You knew his family had a pretty comfortable life, but you had no idea how comfortable their lives really were and judging by their beach house, they’re really rich. Not that you’re jealous, good for them, but damn.

Seokjin was the perfect host, by the way. He makes you feel so welcomed and at home, you didn’t even have the opportunity to feel uncomfortable. As soon as you set foot to the door, he was beside himself trying to make you feel snug.

He gave you a house tour, in which he showed you every part of the house. The house has six bedrooms upstairs and they all had the same modern vibe as the rest of the rooms, except for one, that was his parent’s bedroom, this one was like one of those presidencial suits from 5-star hotels you see in American movies.

Honestly, you were obsessed with the glass walls, they added such a sophisticated touch to the place. All you could think about now was how much money you’d have to earn a month to be able to live in one of those. You’d probably have to be the next Quentin Tarantino for that, but that’s the dream anyway. It was indeed the most beautiful house you’ve ever seen in your life. If this is the Kim’s beach house, imagine what their actual house looks like.

Jin insisted you chose the room with a view of the ocean and he got the one right beside yours. He told you to put on your bikini and go straight to the house’s backyard while he’d go to the supermarket to buy the ingredients for him to cook you dinner. Of course, he didn’t let you join him and left unannounced while you were unpacking upstairs, probably to avoid your temper, because you’d surely insist on going with him. Without much choice, you did as he told you.

The house’s backyard is one of those that leads you straight to the beach sand, where a couple of sun loungers were placed. As you lay on the outdoor furniture, sunbathing and listening to the therapeutic sounds of the waves, pushing and pulling, you feel your body finally relaxing and you bask in this sensation. Breathing in and out, taking in the delicious scent of the salted sea water. You didn’t dare open your eyes, not because you were sleepy or too affected by the sunlight, you were just allowing yourself to enjoy your own company. Not distracting yourself with some silly shit online, you were just truly enjoying a little bit of idleness. Peace.

You feel your phone vibrating between your legs and you see Eunjoo is finally up. Apparently, you were going to distract yourself with silly online stuff, after all.

joo 💛 [4:12 pm]: heyyy, how are things?

joo 💛 [4:12 pm]: i just woke up 🙊

You [4:12 pm]: hey, bitch

You [4:12 pm]: DID YOU JUST WAKE UP? it’s 4 in the afternon !!

You [4:12 pm]: busy night? 🌝

joo 💛 [4:12 pm]: 🌚

You [4:12 pm]: and yeah it’s fine

You [4:13 pm]: there’s only one problem tho

joo 💛 [4:13 pm]: what?

You [4:13 pm]: apparently JIN’S A FUCKING MILLIONAIRE CHOI EUNJOO HOW COME YOU DONT MENTION SOMETHING LIKE THAT TO YOUR BEST FRIEND????????

joo 💛 [4:13 pm]: HAHAHAHA

joo 💛 [4:13 pm]: can I call you rn or is he around?

You [4:13 pm]: he’s out

As soon as you’ve sent the last text, she’s calling you and you answer right away.

“Yeah, so… He’s rich”, she states on the other end.

“Rich? He’s a fucking millionaire, Choi Eunjoo! I feel like my clothes are not good enough to be inside of this fucking mansion”, you hiss back at her.

“You’re so fucking dramatic, Y/n, jeez... First of all, no he’s not a millionaire, they are just rich. We’re fucking poor, that’s why we get so impressed. And second, I’m sure he’d prefer to have you there without clothes, anyway, so-”.

“Eunjoo!” You laugh and she joins you.

“Chill, Y/n. For real! Live a little, you’re at the beach mansion of a hot, cute, intelligente, funny and single guy who’s almost begging you for a chance. Like, come on! What else do you want from life?”

“I’ve just met him, woman… What do you expect me to do? To jump his bones in the middle of all this?”

“Of all this what?”

“You know what”.

She knows you meant Jungkook. You hear her sighing and she continues.

“FYI, I’ve seen a box of extra large condoms at his side of the dorm once, so joke’s on you”.

“CHOI EUNJOO!”

“I’m rolling my eyes very hard at you right now with this moralism of yours, Y/n, just so you know”, she dismisses you.

“Yeah, whatever... I need to tell you something”, you cut her.

“Holy mother of Jesus, I’m already nervous”, she quakes. “Go ahead!”

“I mean, it’s not that important. It’s just- He had a pillow and a blanket on the backseat of his car this morning, in case I got sleepy or cold during the car trip”, you tell your best friend, not being able to hide the endearment note in your voice.

She squeaks on the other end.

“And what do you think of it?” She asks you with a surprisingly neutral tone, but you can almost hear her smile through the phone.

“It was one of the kindest, sweetest gestures-”, you interrupt yourself mid-sentence when you hear the sound of turning keys coming from the entrance door. “Oh, Jin’s here, gotta go. Bye”. You hang up before Eunjoo had the chance to say anything more.

He opens the door and you see his face lightening up when he finds you seated at the sun lounger from across the gigantic living room, but then you feel his eyes on you, travelling up and down your body, you realize it’s the first time he sees you in a bikini. You get a little awkward, but there’s isn’t much you can do now.

“Hey, babygirl, can you give me a hand?”

You feel his gaze lingering on you, as you reach for your jeans shorts and quickly put them on.

“Sure, with what?”, you say as you walk towards him.

He hands you a relatively full shopping bag and you see there’s another two in his other hand. You knew if he went to the supermarket by himself he’d end up buying food enough to feed an army.

Now that you’re standing next to him, you see his neck and ears are blushed, did he sunbathe on his way back or something? You hope so, because if not, it might mean the blushing is related to you and the fact that you’re in swimwear right now and you honestly don't know what you’d make of it.

“Hey, have you been sunbathing on your way here?” You ask, hoping you’re not jumping to conclusions.

“Sunbathing?” He returns the question with a confused look. “No, why?”

“Your neck looks redder than usual”.

“Oh, my neck? Uh- That’s noth- Uh, Is this too heavy?” He motions forward, trying to reach for the shopping bags in an effort to make you drop the subject. His answer has you mildly week on your knees. “Gimme that, I don’t know why I bothered you with-”

“Seokjin, this is why I go to the gym, ok? Don’t worry”, you state, allowing him to actually drop the subject, having confirmed your suspicions.

“To carry heavy shopping bags? Wow, that’s unusual”, you notice the teasing in his voice, in another attempt to divert your attention from his blushing.

“That’s the dream”, you say as you turn around, heading towards the kitchen. He laughs a little exaggeratedly.

You didn’t count on having a step on the entrance of the kitchen. When you noticed the thing was there, it was a little too late, for you were already on your way to the ground. You were able to stop yourself from falling flat on your face, but the products inside the shopping bag were all over the kitchen floor now. A burning pain takes over your toe and you curse out loud. Jin follows you to the kitchen, clearly trying to control himself so he wouldn't crack up to your face.

“Are you-”, he asks as he suppresses a grin. You feel humiliated, those damned clumsy Kim genes. “Sorry. Are you ok?”

You breathe in and out before you can reply. You were probably flushing hard right now.

“I’m fine, thank you”, you grunt as you stretch yourself to pick the shoyu sauce bottle that rolled further away from you, toe still hurting.

“You’re as clumsy as your brother, huh?” He asks all simley and you furrow your brows as soon as the words hit your ears.

“What do you mean?” You inquire, as you squat in order to gather Jin’s groceries. “How do you know my brother is clumsy? Have you met him before?”

“Oh… Yes”, he trembles, placing the bags on the kitchen counter. “I thought he would have told you by now”.

“Well, now I’m curious”, you look at him, still collecting the groceries on the floor. “He would have told me what?”

“It’s nothing shocking, I was a member of the frat for a while…”

“Really? I had no idea! This is why Namjoon likes you, huh?” You squint and he shoots your way a half smile, you notice he’s still a little blushed. “I should have known, he doesn’t warm up to people so fast…”

He also squats, helping you with the last itens.

“He does?” He asks you, in a soft tone.

“Can’t you tell?”

“I mean… I thought he was just nice”, he stands up and reaches out for your hand. You take it and he helps you to get back on your feet. You can tell he’s trying not to look at you so much. “I remember he was always very charismatic, no wonder he became the leader of the frat. But I thought he was just being nice to me since you and I have become close”.

“He and Enjoo are on a secret mission to make sure we become a couple”, you laugh.

He smirks and you feel the silliest human being on Earth. Stupid fucking Y/n. You get so fucked up around him that you feel like your social filter stops working, how can you just say something like that, so casually? You know he’s into you. But you have Jungkook, you can’t just flirt with Jin like this. This is not ok, you have to stop.

“Yeah?” he lets out a soft chuckle, still sounding a little off. “But this is fine, babygirl, I’m happy to be your friend… For now”.

He almost whispers the last part. It feels weird, because this idea is starting to sound much more pleasing than it should. You feel your cheeks burning hot and the need to go off this subject is huge.

“So, uh- Tell me more about you being a frat boy!” You say whatever comes to your mind. “What happened? You’d be a hyung now if you had stayed, probably the leader, instead of Namjoon, right?”

“Sure… But can we sit? Do you want something to drink? We have Milkis”, he offers as he opens the fridge.

“Sure”, you answer, heading towards the gray velvety sofa.

He joins you, sitting right next to you and handing you the open can of Milkis.

“Woah, strawberry? It’s my favorite! How come you know that?!”

“It’s my favorite too, I guess we’re in synch”, he blinks twice, a habit he has and you honestly think it’s so freaking cute.

“I guess we are… Anyways, tell me, tell me!” You take a sip from the can and feel the sweet taste of your favorite soda.

He’s still trying not to stare, you notice his ears blushing again, but this time around you suspect you’re blushing as well. You notice the dark in his eyes deepening as he has his gaze upon you, trying to focus on your face. This is a new side of Seokjin you’ve never seen before. You are enjoying this… Why are you enjoying this? You’re supposed to be just friends.

“Uh- Ok. So, yeah, I was a member, it was nice, honestly. I liked my hyungs as well, I don’t think you’ve had the opportunity to meet them…” he trails off and you shake your head negatively. “I thought so, anyway… You know I’ve had a complicated relationship with my ex. Before we started dating for real, it was nice, but she got really jealous of this whole fraternity thing, she wasn’t a fan of the other guys as well, she thought they were kind of a bad influence, like, they were living their lives as single men and she thought I’d want to do the same, even though I liked her and I was pretty happy with my relationship status at the time. We had major fights about this. Then, I slowly stopped showing up at the parties, I started to spend more time at her house and I ended up drifting apart from the guys and she seemed happier when I wasn’t around them. So I left. For her”.

“I’m under the impression she’s a total bitch, pardon my French!” You declare and there he goes with his larger than life laughter. Against all odds, you liked it a little too much when he laughed and you realized you could listen to it for hours. “Seriously! I swear to you, I’m a feminist, but… Wow”.

“It was a very complicated relationship, I can tell you that. And to top that, I was completely whipped, so… To sum it up, I did everything she wanted, I was a total suck-up”, he pouts, as he lowered his gaze to the white can in his hands.

“Hey, don’t say that”, you push his large shoulder lightly and he barely moves. “You can’t blame yourself for loving someone, you know? Have you seen ‘Call me by your name’? It’s a mediocre movie, if you ask me, but there’s this one scene in which a character says something like how we try to be cured of heartaches by trying to block the pain and it turns us into robots, because instead of seeking happiness all the time, it’s important for us to process the pain. That’s part of maturing. This one scene made this movie worth it”, he has his eyes on your lips, paying close attention to your words. “It’s so strong and so real. We blame ourselves for living and feeling, loving, hating and that’s not fair. I know bad experiences are stuff we don’t want to go through… Of course, but they make us who we are. So if I got lucky to meet this amazing Jin from the present, the Jin from the past had to go through what he went through”.

He wets his lips and you see a half smile appearing on his plump lips, as one corner of his mouth lifts up. He leans in and tucks a strand of your hair behind your ear. You feel your skin burning where he touched, you both look into each other's eyes, his gaze is so intensely set on your face, you feel it burning hot. You look down and take a very nervous sip of your strawberry-flavored beverage. What the hell is happening? Why do you feel weird?

“You know what’s funny? I did try to do that, you know? I tried to block out my feelings, I told Yoongs I wouldn’t date anyone ever again, and that I’d never put myself out there again, but I’ve failed miserably”, he snorts, smile still hanging on his lips. “When I met you, I don’t know, it’s like something clicked”.

Something burns inside of you, yet again, the same, and now, familiar sensation. The one you get only in Jin’s presence. You’re nervous, he’s staring and you can’t focus on anything other than his pinkish, plumpy lips and the way he pouts when he speaks without even realizing how cute he is.

“Don’t say these things, Jinie…” Is all you manage to say.

“This is not me insisting, ok? I’m just being honest, since we’re talking about it…” He asks, wetting his lips again. Was he trying to send you signs? Are you crazy? Maybe you are. “ I have no reason to lie”.

Another smirk on his lips and you’re done for. Fuck it.

Before you could even think, you lean in and press your lips to his. Finally feeling the warmth of his plumpy and velvety lips against yours, realizing you’ve been craving this sensation much more than you’ve thought you would. You close your eyes, so you don’t know if he did the same. He doesn’t freeze or get tense in any way that you can trace, he actually gives in, but you pull away. Desperately embarrassed.

As you open your eyes, you see he’s looking at you with endearment stamped all over his face. You can’t really name it, but this warm, overwhelming thing is weighing in your chest. Is this how you’re supposed to feel when you kiss someone? This is probably a physical sensation of shame, right? Just like when you’re anxious and you get stomachache or something.

There’s a hint of a smile on his lips. You part your lips, in an attempt to apologize for your impulsive act, but before you could say anything, he had his lips back upon your own, much more avid than when you took him by surprise, as if he was claiming them for himself. Oh my, he wants this too. You slip your tongue between his lips, not wasting any time on asking for his permission.

It felt like returning home after a very long and exhausting time away kind of kiss. He tucked his hand in your hair and gripped it firmly on the base of your scalp, leaving you gasping for air. You couldn’t really think straight, you feel inebriated as he kisses you passionately, as you bask in this strawberry-flavored kiss. Your hands travel up his body, you feel his sculpted abs, it’s like you’re hungry for him. You don’t understand where this is coming from, it’s overwhelming. His hands travel down your body from your hair to your waist, where he applies a good pressure on, making you want more of his hands on you.

Then, he pulls away. You’re both breathless, but you’re the only one that has a confused look on your face. What just happened? Why did he pull away? Did I do something wrong? Jin gulps loudly and gets on his feet, his hands travel anxiously from his blonde hair to his neck as he adjusts himself in his pants.

“Uh- So, what do you think... jeyuk bokkeum for dinner?” He asks you, heading towards the kitchen, as if nothing’s happened. “I need to put the groceries away, some of these things need to be in the fridge”.

You’re still processing what just happened, so you take longer than you should to muster an intelligible answer in your confused brain.

“Yeah- Uh, jeyuk bokkeum is fine, thanks”.

You sit there dumbfounded, as he runs his errands in the kitchen, completely unbothered by the fact that the two of you kissed.

You kissed him and then he kissed you. Not as “you kissed each other”, that too, but both of you had started kisses. You kissed him while you were in a fucking bikini. You liked it. You don’t really know what to do now, you honestly feel like a teenager after their first kiss or something and Seokjin was nonchalantly humming an unidentified song as he put the fucking groceries away.

“Can I help you with anything?” You ask anxiously.

“No, I got it, babygirl”, he glances your way, smiling at you gently.

“Jinie, Uh- Do you mind if I hit the shower while you’re at it?”

“Of course not”, he answers, dividing his attention between you and the products inside the last shopping bag.

“Be right back”.

You turn around, letting go of air you didn’t realize you had been holding. You can’t stop thinking about what happened, you just knew this familiar, but completely new kind of feeling was a bit too much to handle, maybe you’d forget all about it over a hot shower.

Just Say Goodnight N Go | Chapter 05

Hot shower or no hot shower, you simply could not stop thinking about the kiss. You’d be lying if you said you weren’t worried about how you’d behave in his presence, but it wasn’t even the most important thing in your mind right now. You feel so weird after this kiss, you don’t even know how to explain. You just know it feels like he’s taken over your mind.

You don’t want to talk about this with Eunjoo or Namjoon right now, because you know they will not stop teasing you. But, fortunately, you have Jimin.

You type a quick hello and wait less than a minute for his reply, the boy’s indeed always online.

chim chim 🐥 [5:12 pm]: sup sweetums

You [5:12 pm]: chim i did something

You [5:12 pm]: chim i kissed the guy !!!!!!!!

You [5:12 pm]: seokjin and i kissed !!!!!!!!!!!! i’m nervous

chim chim 🐥 [5:13 pm]: IT WOULD HAPPEN SOONER OR LATER LOL

You [5:13 pm]: ok but what do i do now i’m nervous

You [5:13 pm]: he suddenly pulled away and started acting like nothing happened now i don’t know what to do !!!

chim chim 🐥 [5:13 pm]: you should do the same lol how old are u? 14?

You [5:14 pm]: ouch

chim chim 🐥 [5:14 pm]: love youuu enjoy the weekend

It was just a kiss, it wasn’t that big of a deal… Right? Yes, Y/n, get it together.

Well, maybe Jimin’s right. Maybe you should act normal. Some friends do that, don’t they? I mean, look at you and Jungkook. Of course, you developed feelings somewhere along the way, but Jin’s different. You are really just friends. Even if how he acted meant he’s given up on waiting for you, it’s fine, right? You didn’t even know if you could answer his feelings, so you had nothing to worry about.

But why does it feel like something’s off?

With this question in mind, you decide to follow Jimin’s advice. You are friends, there’s no fucking thing to worry about, you’re just overthinking. You decide to head downstairs and you find Jin seated on the sofa, scrolling on his cell. In front of him there was a bottle of soju, a beer can and two glasses, you could see he had already started drinking, his glass was half empty.

You try to channel your inner Park Jimin and in order to sound chill, you decide to say something in a playful tone. After opening and closing your mouth five times in the spare of a second, you try.

“Can’t believe you started off without me, Kim Seokjin-ssi!” Being the scaredy cat he is, he places a hand on his chest as your voice startles him.

“My god! You’ve almost killed me…” He declares, laughing lightly. “Why do you insist on not using honorifics? You should call me Seokjin-oppa, you know?”

He taps on the sofa, inviting you to sit by his side. He doesn’t sound uncomfortable or nervous. Ok, this is a good sign. You two are friends, nothing’s wrong, things are back to normal. You roll your eyes, pretending you weren’t almost running away from this house on foot and do as he says.

“Do you want some?” He asks, pointing to the beverages in front of you.

You notice a hesitant note to his voice. Fuck, fuck, fuck. This is gonna be so awkward. At least, if you drink enough, you can call it a night early and go straight to bed, you’d be leaving tomorrow afternoon anyways, so the only thing you had to do would be faking a morning hangover and sooner than you knew, you’d be heading back to Seoul.

“Please”, you hold your glass as he mixes your somaek.

“Only if you call me oppa”, a devious smirk appears on his lips.

“Fuck off, I’m not calling you oppa! The thought of it makes me cringe”

“Oh, come on! I’m an old, traditional man who’s not used to modern ways of addressing older people, that’s all…”

You reach out for the glass, but he dodges you easily. You try again and he dodges you easily once more. He bursts out laughing, the same boisterous laughter as always.

“Jinie! Come on!” You protest loudly.

“Just ask me nicely and it’s yours”.

“Please, can you give me my somaek?” You grunted.

“Ok, you’re almost there, babygirl”, he rejoiced, still holding your glass away from your reach.

“No”, you fume, crossing your arms in front of your chest.

“Alright, then, then this one’s mine too”, he adds, taking your glass to his mouth, taking a small sip of it.

“Jin!” You exclaim louder and he raises his brows, looking at you in the eye. “Please, give me my drink”.

“Call me oppa and it’s yours, babygirl”, he smirks again, a cocky expression plastered on his face.

You snort. You want that fucking somaek.

“Please, Seokjin-oppa, give me my freaking glass”, you hiss, but give in anyways.

You notice he’s eyes lingering on your lips again. You instantly get flashbacks from earlier today. You started to get nervous all over again, what if he decides to try kissing you a second time? You know you wouldn’t say no, because you want it.

“Here, babygirl”, he simply beams and hands you the glass of somaek. “So, did it hurt?”

“Yes, but what wouldn’t I do for some alcohol, right?” He chuckles and you get a bit skittish. His smiles are a bit hard to deal with. So, rattling mode on. “Hey! What about our jeyuk bokkeum? Doesn’t it take a little while to prepare it?”

“It does”, he states nonchalantly, drinking from his cup this time around.

“Then why are you here drinking somaek as if you’re the king of the world? You promised me you’d cook for me!” You say after gulping from your glass, instantly feeling a little less tense.

Thank you, alcohol.

“I know what I’m doing, Y/n, don’t worry… The pork is marinating, the rice is cooked, and for your information, alcohol works up your appetite, so I’m in full chef mode over here”.

“Oh, sorry, chef Kim”, you shrug, gulping from your glass once more.

You start to feel the effects of the somaek in you and you feel way more relaxed than when you first sat by his side. It made everything much easier, even when his gaze lingered on you for a while longer than it should.

“Jinie, do you have any plans for Halloween?”

He mulls over your question for a second.

“Not really, why?” He asks, blinking cutely, the same way he did earlier today.

It’s hard to concentrate on what you’re saying sometimes when you’re around Seokjin.

“Uh- There’ll be a party at the guys’ frat, do you wanna come? I mean, I know it’s not really my party, but yeah, I’m inviting you… Do you wanna come?”

“Oh”, his face kind of lights up with your invitation. “Of course, I’ll be there! Man… It’s been awhile since the last time I’ve been to a frat party, I hope I still know how to behave in one of those”.

“Of course you do, Jin. And I’ll be there, if you feel awkward, just come and look for me”.

“Won’t Jeon Jungkook-ssi get mad if I do that?” He cocks one of his brows.

Your eyes widen when you listen to his name. You haven’t really thought of him since you kissed Seokjin and you don’t really know what to make of it. You don’t really understand what’s happening and on top of that, you’re not really sure if Jin rejected you or if he had another reason to pull away from that kiss. Besides, Jin didn’t really know you and Jungkook still see each other, so you didn’t have to admit that to anyone but Eunjoo.

“Why would he be mad? I’ve told you we’re friends… It’s over between us”, you try.

“You don’t have to- Uh, lie to me”, he states, leaning back on the back of the big, gray sofa. “You can tell me the truth, ok? I swear there’ll be no hard feelings or any type of judgement from me”.

You nervously down your drink and fixate your eyes on him, trying to find any trace of dubious intentions, but you’ve found none. You feel slightly dizzy due to the fact you’ve finished your somaek way faster than you should have.

“Actually, I won’t be answering any of your questions related to Jungkook, forget Jungkook, I don’t want to talk about him. I wanna ask you something”, you protested, looking him in the eyes. He leans in, encouraging you to continue. “Why did you”, you poke him on the chest, “pull away from me?”

His eyes widen at your question and you’re trying to focus on something other than his plumpy lips and your tipsy mind is striving to keep away the memories of how it felt when you had them on yours.

“Don’t think that I didn’t want-”, he closes his eyes and sighs. “To kiss you, ok? I’ve been thinking about it for a while now. One of the only things I’ve been thinking about lately, by the way, I just-”

“Are you into someone else? If you’re it’s ok, I unders-”

“No, it’s not that, babygirl…” His voice trails off and one of his hands travels to yours, where his thumb rubs a gentle circle on its back. “It’s just that I don’t want to make your life even more complicated. I know you’ve been through some shit lately, your mom, your situation with Jungkook-ssi, it’s a lot. I know that. So, I don’t wanna be the person who adds any more pressure, you know?”

You don’t really know what to say, you just nod.

“If when you sort things out, you see how great of a catch I am, then, I’ll be thrilled and I’ll be ready to kiss you as much as you want me to. And also I don’t want this to happen like this, just sex and then we’re back to being friends. I don’t want only half of you, I want much more than this and, honestly, it didn’t help that you were in a fucking bikini, you know? It was either pulling away at that moment or…” He cocks his head to the side as his voice trails off.

Thank god you’ve had the drink or else you’d be flustered. Not that you’re not completely speechless right now, but you’re more surprised than embarrassed. It’s totally new to you having someone actually who likes you for you. No ulterior motive. You don’t know what to say and you don’t know what to do now.

So, you decide to do exactly what any mature person would do, you pour yourself a soju shot and down it in one gulp. Jin’s looking at you with his mouth gaping, but you see the corner of his mouth turning upwards and it feels like he’s lightening up the whole room with it.

“This is why I pulled away… Not because I didn’t want to kiss you, but because I want much more than that”.

Then, his phone goes off.

“Oh, the pork’s ready”, he gets on his feet and heads towards the kitchen. “Do you wanna help?”

“Not unless you need me”, you answer honestly.

“It’s ok, I got it”, he answers. “Hey, look over there”.

He points to the back glass door that leads to the beach sand, it’s almost sunset time and you notice there are already shades of pink and purple in the sky. It doesn’t matter how many times you get to experience a sunset at the beach, this view always manages to take your breath away. Jin already knew that about you and apart from your brother, he seems to be the only one who really gets how much you adore looking at the sky. Your phone vibrates in your front pocket and takes your attention away from the ethereal view.

taetae [6:10 pm]: i just wanna let you know jimin is telling jk and his gf how much he hates the fly ~

taetae [6:10 pm]: and that you MADE him sit through a 35th screening anniversary of it and he hated it

You [6:10 pm]: lol he’s got a lousy taste in movies anyway ~

taetae [6:10 pm]: i told him you said that and he asked me to tell you to f**k off

You [6:10 pm]: hahahahaha 💁‍♀️

You [6:11 pm]: are you guys out for drinks or sth?

taetae [6:11 pm]: nope, we’re home

taetae [6:11 pm]: why?

You [6:11 pm]: just curious, taetae, have fun 💛

So, the boys are with Jungkook and his girlfriend. It means she’s becoming a part of the group as well and it would be only a matter of time until you met her. And as odd as it seems, you can’t really feel sad about it, you feel like it’s past the time the two of you met, actually. It feels like something really changed in you, you’re not really able to name it, but something seems very different. You and Jungkook needed to put an end to this. You needed to move on. Maybe it was the guilt speaking right now, because you know you are also to blame in this situation, you know you’re Jungkook’s accomplice. Deep down, you know it all.

Yeah, maybe it was guilt.

Or maybe, just maybe your drunk ass was opening up to the possibility that it was due to the fact that this certain blond-haired guy was winning your heart, a little bit in each passing day. Leaving no space left for Jungkook and his complicated conditions anymore. Maybe tomorrow, when you wake up sober, you won’t be able to admit it, but right now, you are almost sure.

Your phone vibrates again and this time around you almost ignore it, you just felt like you couldn’t take your eyes off of Seokjin. You didn’t want to. He looks divine, he is wearing a black cap and he had a white long-sleeved shirt, sleeves rolled-up, since he’s cooking. He’s pouting and his brows are furrowed, he’s deeply focused on whatever it is he’s doing right now. He’s indeed endearing.

Truthfully, you should have ignored the person texting, because this one text was able to make you feel frantic for the rest of the weekend.

kookie [6:17 pm]: hi babe, a little bird told me you and prince charming are in jeju island having the perfect weekend getaway

kookie [6:17 pm]: hope you’re having fun (:

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