shadowofahope

Shadow of a Hope

Hi! You can call me Nym (She/They). My 2 ult groups are BTS and StrayKids. M.list || Taglists

431 posts

Don't Tell Me What You See || 11

Warnings: Angst, alcohol consumption

Pairing: Jimin!BTS x reader

Author's notes: ooooo, looky who we found.... I say as a distraction.

masterlist

You had ordered yourself a pizza and grabbed snacks on your way home, you mentally prepared yourself to see Jimin again on screen.

You had promised the boys to watch them at the live festival and you did. Cheering them on as if you were right there in the audience, as if they can see you.

You hadn’t seen them since Jimin released his MV, and you were kind of appreciative of the time apart. You didn’t have to struggle to work through the frost of being around him, hearing his sweet words laced with poison.

It had given you time away, you didn’t have to think about it. There was no pain those few days, no unbearable cold. Just a numb chill and you honestly didn’t mind anymore.

But just as you were cleaning up your living room from all the leftovers at around 11pm, the worst pain you had ever experienced racked through your body. The pain was unrelenting, stabbing ice, like you were being sliced apart. Bones shattering from freezing.

Falling to your knees a glacial wave of paralyzing agony rolls over you. You begin to choke as a scream attempts to escape your throat.

You can’t think straight. The stabbing, ripping feeling subsides slowly, but the cold….the cold is relentless, you feel like you’re drowning in it.

All you can think of is warmth. How to get warm. You don’t understand what’s happening to you, why is this happening to you. What is happening with your soulmate, is he ok?

Warm. warm. Warm. warm. Warm.

And then you see it, sitting on your kitchen counter, warmth.

You drag yourself over to the kitchen, pulling yourself up the barstool. Your legs still fighting against you. And you reach for it, the expensive bottle of whiskey Yoongi had brought over to your place. Cups are unnecessary, you pull the bottle to the floor with you, fling the lid off and bring the liquid to your lips.

💜♾💜♾💜

The music festival went off without a hitch. The boys performed well and received a lot of praise from their fellow peers.

Taehyung, Yoongi and Jin had come home soon after the event, the others stayed to socialize at the mini after party the tv company hosted.

Taehyung was currently seated on the couch flipping through channels, Yoongi had disappeared into his room and Jin was making a snack in the kitchen when the others arrived home.

Peering over the back of the couch as they came in to greet them he noticed one of them was missing.

“Hyung, where’s Jimin?” Confusion and concern laced in Taehyung's voice. “Did he not come back with you?”

“He went home with one of the girls from the venue.” Hoseok replies nonchalantly, walking past the couch towards his and Jimins room.

“He what?!” Taehyung jumps straight in his seat. Eye’s frantic, they meet Yoongi’s, who is making his way out of his room when he hears the others arrive.

“He was hitting it off with one of the girls that we met so he decided to go back to her hotel with her.” Namjoon shrugged, stealing a handful of popcorn Jin had made.

Taehyung and Yoongi exchange worried looks, terrified of what this meant for you.

“I really don’t understand why he does that, he knows he has a soulmate” Jin scoffs.

“Uh, Tae, remember that track you were helping me with? I just got a really good idea for it but I didn’t bring my equipment to the dorms.” Yoongi quickly remarks as he makes his presence known by walking fully into the living room. “You up for hitting the studio?”

“Yea, absolutely. Let’s go right now before you forget it.” Taehyung scrambles off of the couch and grabs his things.

They both give a goodnight over their shoulders as they head to the front door of their dorm. One slings his coat over his shoulders as the other puts his shoes on.

They have no idea what state they are going to find you in. Jimin going home with someone? They hope you were ok...ok? They hope you are alive. Sheer panic seeps through them both, hoping to get to you before they both lose their wits.

Once they were outside the dorm building, Taehyung finally spoke again.

“Please tell me we’re going to her.”

“We need to move quickly” Was all the older said.

💜♾💜♾💜

Tipping the bottle again, only this time no precious liquid graces your lips. You were feeling warm, still in pain. But not as debilitating as before. Being out of alcohol however was not an option. You needed more. Now.

Standing on shaky legs, you grab your phone and wallet. In your haze, you take your wallet back out of your pocket, pull out your bank card and slide it into your phone case. Throwing your wallet over your shoulder, you wobble to your door and put on some sneakers. Not even being able to think about a jacket or anything else, you leave your apartment.

You are too tipsy to rationalize what you are doing, all you know is that the alcohol made you warm. It was a fake warm, but it was a warmth you needed.

Trudging through the lobby, you can feel the frigid madness following you. It was so close, if you weren’t so drunk right now, you’d say it was pushing you out into the warm air. The warm air you can only wish to feel again.

💜♾💜♾💜

*BANG BANG BANG*

“Firefly! Are you in there?” Taehyung yells at your apartment door. “Please open up!”

Yoongi paces behind him, phone to his ear.

“She’s not picking up!” His voice is almost in full blown hysteria. “Just open the door!”

Listening to his elders command, Taehyung punches in your passcode. Both men burst through the door into your apartment, running rampant they search every room calling out your name. Yoongi notices the fallen pizza box, the thrown wallet and the empty whiskey bottle.

“Hyung, what are we going to do?!” Taehyung’s pacing now, hands constantly running through his hair.

“We’re going to find her Tae.” Yoongi reassures the younger….or maybe himself? He’s not sure. “We are going to find her.”

💜♾💜♾💜

Tripping over your own feet, you land on your hands and knees. Shuffling onto your butt, you take a look at the damage. There’s a rip in your jeans, but no blood.Compared to the overwhelming pain and chill from your soul mirror breaking, even without the alcohol, you don’t think it would be noticable.

Another wave of pain shoots through your body, forcing you back. You caught yourself, the pain was getting worse. You swear you can almost see your breath as it collides with the warm air.

You let out a pained chuckle. You need more alcohol. You’re not drunk enough, you need to feel numb, if physical warmth was all you are going to get, then you were going to take it.

Your eyes swim in a sea of dizziness. With trembling hands you pull out your phone from your back pocket. Forcing the bile climbing up your throat back down, you punch in the number you have etched in your heart.

You sit there on the steps, next to the river, staring up into the sky, waiting for the phone to connect. It barely rings once, before a panicked voice fights through your fog.

“Firefly!! Where are you?!” The desperation in his voice is evident.

He waits for your reply, but you are stuck in a memory from months ago.

“Do you remember that light festival we found while walking next to the river?” A hiccup escapes you.

“Of course I do Firefly.” He recalls. “Yoongi-hyung got so mad at you because you kept wandering away. He made you hold one of our hands for the rest of the night.”

A small laugh slips from your lips.

“It was prettier with the lights.”

“Firefly, are you-”

“I’m not OK.” You mumble feebly, cutting him off. Finally admitting to yourself as much as to him.

You lower your gaze down when you hear a group of girls walking past you and towards one of the opposite streets. They were wearing clubbing outfits for sure, skin and clothing splattered with glitter and paint. Your legs force you to stand, not wanting to think anymore you go to follow them.

You hear Taehyung talking, but you make no attempt at answering. You need to know where they're going. You watch them walk up to a bouncer at a club, talk to him and head in. You can hear the music through your deafened ears. You need to go in.

Finally you respond to Taehyung's frantic words.

“Tonight,” You breathe. “I’m going to have fun.”

You hang up the phone, unaware that he can hear the music and he’s connecting the dots.

Blinded to your surroundings you walk towards the door, attempting to pass the bouncer. He steps in front of you, blocking your way.

He mumbles something you don’t quite catch. You steady yourself, ready to fight your way in.

“I need to see your I.D ma’am.” He speaks again, you glare at him knowing full well you left that in the apartment.

“Look, there’s no way I look underage.” You huff, crossing your arms.

“All the same ma’am, I need to see your I.D to let you in.” He sighs sympathetically, attempting to usher you to the side.

In doing so you lose your footing...again, but this time arms catch you. You don’t bother looking up.

“Don’t worry, Joo Hwan. She’s with me.” A female voice replies.

“Oh, Mi young. I didn’t know you were coming in tonight.” He chirps politely.

“I’m not, just picking up a friend from inside.” The voice responds happily. You straighten up and look at the woman who saved you from the pavement.

All you can see is her side profile from this angle, but you can easily tell. She’s beautiful. Long, shiny dark hair tumbles down her shoulders. Slender frame, but still reaching around 5’ 5”. She’s more cute than sexy. She almost looks like she doesn’t belong here, but her stance and the air around her is telling you the opposite.

She leans back to grab your hand, pulling you with her into the club. You can’t help but stare at her. What is this feeling, this is something you’ve never felt before. She seems almost familiar, but you can’t put your finger on why.

She pulls you over towards the bar, her eyes searching for her friend. When she sees her, she begins to wave her arm, catching their attention. Then she turns around to you.

You make eye contact and the realization slams into you.

“Why is-” She gasps, hand covering her mouth she lets go of your hand.

“Twinflame.” Is all you say. This beautiful woman standing in front of you is your twinflames soulmate.

Her friend crashes into her from behind. Clinging and slurring, they whine about wanting to go home.

She shushes her friend and turns her attention back to you. You quickly pull out your phone and hand it to her. Without so much as a second thought, she takes your phone and adds her phone number.

“Y/N” You say taking your phone back.

“Mi Young.” She replies. Her friend nudges her towards the door to leave. Giving you a soft smile she makes her way out of the club.

Pain once again ripples through your body, this time worse. You brace yourself against the bar, it almost feels like you’re being ripped apart. The alcohol is wearing off, you need more. A lot more.

You manage to flag down one of the bartenders and order the strongest shot they had.

Muse || Cry About It Later

💜♾💜♾💜

TAGLIST:

@fangirl125reader @christelle332 @shopmum @jksbbyfacebunny @lilluvbun @ellxpsismm @pensandmicrogalaxies @mayla548 @nanafj95 @idk123906 @girlinthemikrokosmos @allyyinwonderland @danietoww04 @kaithezaftig

Don't Tell Me What You See || 11

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