New Magic, New Magic, New Magic, WAND!!

new magic, new magic, new magic, WAND!!

*BONK*

public callout post

@sharkiiv

i blame you for the fact that I started to listen to Tyler, the Creator

DO IT NOW

I don't know what the point of an inside voice and an outside voice is if you're just gonna tell me to shut up both times.

WAIT OMG THE SAYING "when life gives you lemons" LITERALLY HAS A WHOLE NEW MEANING. LIFE DIDNT GIVE THEM SCIENTISTS DID. LIFE DIDNT GIVE YOU SHIT. SO STOP TAKING SHIT FROM SOME SCIENTISTS WHO LITERALLY ONLY MADE LEMONS TO MAKE PEOPLE FEEL BAD!! THATS THE WHOLE WEAPON!!! IM LITERALLY MATPAT IRL YO

New fruit conspiracy bc yall rly seemed to like the last one

Alright. Lemons. Hear me out.

Lemons. Are. MILITARY WEAPONS/EXPIRIMENTS. AND IM FINNA TELL YOU WHY.

Now, you're probably thinking "Shark, what the actual H-E- double FUCK are you on about?" And I js need you to bear with me.

LEMONS ARE A MAN MADE FRUIT. THEY ARE NOT REAL .

I just recently learned that lemons are NOT a naturally occuring fruit and are a hybrid of a tangerine and a citrus fruit. WHAT??? You're telling me that these genderfluid freak fruit are MANMADE? turns out, yes. They are. So now the real question is why did we make them? Was it accident? Was it to kill God? Or was it to take over the world. The answer is probably all of those.

Im proposing that evil scientists long long ago were trying to make a weapon that was so uncannily normal looking that it wohld go totally unnoticed. They probably didnt expect that it would literally be used in foods and drinks and other shit all over the world. This weapon? The lemon. The fruit Lemon Demon used for his name.

So why were they trying to make this weapon? No idea. Probably to fight the nazis. Or God. But maybe they didn't mean to make this fruit so awesome. Maybe it was supposed to kill people instead of making their faces twist and their lips pucker. Think about it.

And yes, Lemons do grow naturally now, but they didn't back then until the tangerine and the citrus were fused. Magic. I dont really know how that happened but I do know that plants have sex somehow and that Is how this bullshit happens. And now we have the lemon. Yay. Even though IT SUCKS!!! LEMON IS THE SECOND WORST FLAVOR AFTER GRAPE AND NO ONE CAN PROVE ME OTHERWISE. I ONLY LIKE PINK LEMONADE AND I HARDLY EVEN DRINK IT!!!

Thank you for coming to my TedTalk.

THE ONE BLONDE KID WITH THE UGLY ASS HAIRCUT OR THE FATTASS??

HUZZAH!

tw: mentions of sa, overwhelming happiness :DD

A RAPIST AT MY SCHOOL TRANSFERED LETS FUCKING GOOOOOOOOOOO

the chicken is coming the chicken is coming the chicken is coming the chicken is coming the chicken is coming the chicken is coming the chicken is coming the chicken is coming the chicken is coming the chicken is coming the chicken is coming the chicken is coming the chicken is coming the chicken is coming the chicken is coming the chicken is coming the chicken is coming the chicken is coming the chicken is coming the chicken is coming the chicken is coming the chicken is coming the chicken is coming the chicken is coming the chicken is coming the chicken is coming the chicken is coming the chicken is coming the chicken is coming the chicken is coming the chicken is coming the chicken is coming the chicken is coming the chicken is coming the chicken is coming the chicken is coming the chicken is coming the chicken is coming the chicken is coming the chicken is coming the chicken is coming the chicken is coming the chicken is coming the chicken is coming the chicken is coming the chicken is coming the chicken is coming the chicken is coming the chicken is coming the chicken is coming the chicken is coming the chicken is coming the chicken is coming the chicken is coming

Let me inside your home.